"The Petty Expert" with Paris Sashay

Hi, Hi. What's that from some songs? Is it?

Wait?

No, is that Mary j? I don't know what it's from, but sity oh you ready? Oh my god? Oh you got that so fast? Wow? You would think you were good at taboo.

It's crazy how bad at it you are.

Do you want to tell the people what happened? Yes, let's talk about it. Okay. So Sydney and I get booked for shows together as a duo all the time. People are like Sidney Mury, like they don't even put a space between the names. It's r Sidney Mrie. Or they'll book us as the unofficial expert and it's like, okay, cool. And so we did a live show where we had to play taboo against three other podcasts and Sydney had never played taboo? How have you never played table.

I played it once in Detroit, But that doesn't count. I mean that's the blackest place to play taboo. That means it counts.

Yeah, But anyway, we're there. Do white people play taboo? Yes they do.

There's an app on your phone to play the taboo. Everybody plays it except you, exact me.

So and I didn't know there was an app on your phone. Anyway, So we get there and I'm like, well, I'm gonna give I'm gonna give the clues because I feel like Sidney's gonna just read all of the words on the card. So if you're listening to this and you've never played Taboo, it's you get a card. There's a word at the top. It'll say like president, and then you can't say any of the words underneath that. Yeah, it's pretty much and it'll be like white house and.

You have to explain it or you have to give like context clues for somebody to guess.

The word boom. So you know, so you were first. I went up first, and I was giving good clues, like right, the word was filthy and I was like white men are and he was like dusty and then I was like it was so bad. Then Sidney was like the city. Then Sydney was giving the clues and she was like, oh the time I went out with that rich man. I went to his house and I was like anal. I couldn't believe said that. I just

Okay, well I could do my experts. Do it again again. We're talking about uberpool.

I get in and this there's little things that people do that they try to do, the loophole thing, like this woman had a baby and then two.

Kids, two grown ass kids. You can only have one other person with you in a pool. Two kids is not one person. Sounds like she had three kids. Oh well, I wasn't counting a baby because the baby was basically on her back. Right, Okay, I'm like, you have two fucking kids, mind you. You know she put in that she had one guest, but if somebody else comes in, they might have another guest.

Now they got to put a child in a lap? Fuck not, I said the cat.

We and Bushwick, Now we gotta go to Penn Station with a kid on your lap.

Get the fuck out of here.

So I'm in the front because I was actually I was in the back, but when I saw the kids, I said, I'm gonna sit in the front because I ain't got time.

Nope, And I don't know. You know those back kids that like will kick you and they're looking at you while the kicking you, and they're like they dare you to say something to them.

I ain't nobody's nanny or I'm not a kid friendly. So I sat in the front and so the driver was like miss miss He was like Beatrice, Beatrice, because of Beatrice White lady.

No, it was a Spanish woman. He was like Beatrice.

Come on, like She's like, well, I'm here now, So what what do you want me to do? You're gonna have me and my kids stand up?

Yes? This see, this is why I can't be an uber driver. And because I can't drive, but you not getting in my car with your boogernosed kids kicking my seat, putting your kid's footprints all on the back of my of the driver's seat.

No thrown ass kids. She said, these are tallest. I said, actually that boy is my height. He got a regular sized body.

I said, he worked somewhere. No way, he not standing outside of the home depot Toronto. Get a ride.

And you know we picked up somebody else who had another person with them.

What kind of car was just like an a Honda Corps. It was a Toyota Camri. It was the regular ship. So where did the kids go? Because the baby's in on her breast right, So the kids are sitting. The kids had a leppa.

It was a big ass argument because when we picked up the other person, it was another colored person, another you.

Know brown, you're saying colored like color like somebody from the fifties. It was a it was a colored person.

It was another brown and they weren't having it. They was like, dude, like, come on, man, yeah, but hold on, let's talk.

Let's do the math here.

Though you said, it's a Toyota Camra, right, you get in, it's one person, right, the driver's in the front seat, so the front seat is full. If the lady actually had two people and then two other people were not going to fit in the.

Car, well that's in in freaking uberpool. You could do that. I mean you gotta have a third row. Yeah, it was messy. Even if she didn't have that extra baby with her. The other person who had a friend was not going to fit in the car. They must have claimed only having one and then they came with two people, probably because I've done that before.

You have Yeah, Well you need to not do that. It's not considerate.

Well the driver's like, it says one and I'm like, well, there's two of us. Because you know, it's like, got an extra dollar thirty three for your friend. I'd be like, let me just put one and see what happens. It's rude and you shouldn't do that.

And I don't want to be in the middle of it, especially if I'm in the front.

I have you not in the middle of you in the front. Yeah, but I felt like I was involved. Know you had one headphone in yeah, because I wanted to hear okay, yeah, okay. I was like, Beatrice, you gonna go off or not? Ornal sub Marie, what was your expertise? Still not ready for it? I don't know. I've been really busy. I've been doing I don't know if you guys can tell by listening to my voice right now, but this voice is in high demand, Okay.

Or maybe it's white people in the commercial with their voices and something else.

Oh no, They're like everything that they get all a copy that they get, they're asking for black women or ethnically ambiguous or Asian or Hispanic. Okay. I was like, okay, but I mean I saw Wendy's commercial the other day and it was you know, the Wendy's girl is still white. When are they going to remix the Wendy's going to put here like in some ban two knots, some corn rows. No, she Wendy could be white. They can have that. Well,

I'm hoping. I'm crossing my fingers for that. I mean, that would be a really big campaign. I would be the voice, not this voice that you're hearing right now, obviously, because I just woke up and I sound like somebody's smoking ass.

Mom, But bring me, bring me to remote, bring me my bag. I told you it's your little friend coming over today. Did you do your homework?

You sound like you could be the voice of little Baby's mom, Baby's kids, and then mom the mom was the mom in the movie, because I thought it was just the honest dude.

Can I tell you that I didn't see Baby's kids. I remember Baby's kids, but I didn't watch it.

I watched it. It was good. Speaking of better than that, Oh my god, our guest is better than that, because she this is the second time she's been here, and she's better than that. And she's better than that. Back. Okay, First of all, I would be like, now, I'm not coming back and this guest.

I was like, hey, I'll get you an uber to and fro and I was like, she didn't take that offer.

I was like, oh wow, so this guest is dumb. This this is the dumbest guess we've ever had. Because you're gonna uber me there and back. You gon uber me to Target. I'm going grocery shopping on your dime, right, That's crazy.

I would have I would actually uber well, she knew I was gonna put her an uber.

In a pool. She knew that. She was like, nah, I don't have time for that bullshit. She was like, I'll just stick. She was like, I'm gonna have to leave the night before if I want to get at ten am to this one. So yeah, you're smart. Thank you. I appreciate you. Thank you for I care about my money. Well, our guest today is our petty expert, and she's here to talked about talk to us about everything petty. And

That's an m a L L mall mall. People get people the middle of the mall, not chaos.

I'm talking about the ole ma. I mean, I think it's gonna be in the middle of the motto. Her face not gonna be on the mall outside. Anyway, let's just get into it.

You're being really rude, as our petty expert Pat Paris Sashet.

Hey, girls, you guys, crack me up.

Hey, hold on, wait, let's pause. I never turned down the offer over pool.

There.

We didn't finish the conversation into the park, she said, come up off that starter.

She was killing the Yeah, she didn't take the offer. I did. I got you A person got to catch a bus somewhere. So where's the bus authority? She changed her mind real fast.

She's like, I'll get you partially there. Yeah, geta and over pool to the train. I'll get you tor so Ho and Uber pool to the train.

That's hilarious. So what's happening in at the port authority? You're taking the bus. I'm taking the bus. But now, lady like you should not be in any type of bus.

You are just too damn fly. You got your glasses on, biggie glasses, you got your your Rolex.

Yes, listen, but it's away for me to save money. It's not bad. I go to sleep. It's just four hours, just four hours.

She's one of those rich people that's like, no, no, I'll take twelve buses it.

Yeah, that's well, get to Boston hashtag rich. Okay, uh so, let's do a let's give you a full body cam. Uh So, Paris is giving us thick Eve okay, thick Ev from the rough Riders.

Yeah.

I can't tell if she has the paws on the tight eyes because she's got them covered. I got them on the thus.

Oh you go on the thigh You you have the paw prints on your thighs, because did you look so much like Eve? I did it before people was telling me that just how you did it, and you were like, they're gonna they're gonna catch on after I get these paw prints on my thighs.

That's hot. Are they paw prints or like dog prints? You know the print so it's coming up like cat prints or it's going up to the cat. Wow, you have paw prints going up to the coach is a dear, she said, dogs dogs? How many tracks?

Like?

Is it one? Two? Three? How many need to see this? Take your pants off city, rip pants off me too?

I mean they already listen. Wait, so you got the paw prints. I see you in the like little rip jeans dressed. Those are very nice. Your ankles out, you look like you're running errands, bitch, or you about to go through the CSA you do one?

You had like a you know. You also kind of looked like there was the actress I want to say she was on the Parkers. She was like the Friends, not nobody but the friend. I'm gonna look it up. Please it better not that's what you're giving me. Definitely, the way that she just laughed just now is giving me like the Friends talking about maybe Mosha, maybe with somebody from Mosha. I hope you don't think it's Countess. No, not not either of the Parkers, the friend of one

So also, you got your little army fatigue. So you're a rough rider. Okay stop drop, shut down up.

I love it. And the face is completely clear. You got great skin? Yeah, do you have a skin regimember, I don't.

I just drink a lot of I use honey. I use face scrub, and then I use honey.

I'm so tired of So you exfoliate and then you got the raw honey in the shower.

First of all, raw honey is expensive to just be putting on your face, honestly, says you just gotta catch like a cute trader Joe's situation.

I'm so tired of black people. Oh yeah, I use raw and that's it. It's like, okay, but if but if what it's how Goop told you to do it, you wouldn't be tired of white people, wouldn't. I've been tired of them.

But I'm saying like they'll they'll say, oh, I don't have no skin regimen, no nothing, and.

Then they got a whole routine products. I mean, it's it'll be proud. It'd be like the kitchen stuff being the like my olive oil be in the bathroom anyway, listen, So you shower and then you put the honey on, and then you towel it off. No, I let the water wash it off.

No hair, so I just let ey like I let I just wash my hair every time I'm in the shower.

I just let everything it was. I mean, if I had a seesar, i'd washed my hair every day too. Yeah, did you get a shape up? Didn't? It looks great? Even though you have short hair, you still got to maintain that ship.

I brushed my hair one hundred times after I got the shower.

I count, and then I put a. Then you put a. You gotta have trying to maintain them waves. I lay down. I didn't see you as the do rag type. Do you have the tail out?

No?

I tuk the tail. You tuck the tail. It's too much. It's too much with the taillout. It's just too Why you don't open the door with the tailout. I'm look in the mirror with the tail on. I'm liked. Listen, you don't put the fan on it stand in front of the fan and get your Beyonce on with the tailout.

Oh no, you don't excel what to do?

Right? Okay? Now?

Wait, that is the gayest image that you can have, and that's why you never saying it.

And also you have glasses on? Now do you ever take them off? I always see you with some type of glasses on with a statement shape.

They're not prescription obviously, No, because level glasses those Warby Parker's. No, they're not now Street, No they're not. No, you got a designer. Nope, just order them from Amazon. She orders them for Amazon. You got Amazon Prime.

I use my ex Amazon. Oh you, I mean you have to what's the worst that can happen? I can change the password if anything.

You have to trust you changed the password on Yeah, I just used the account. Remember when I was on my exes Netflix and then he changed the password on me? Sish, that was such a track, that was pet that you should have changed it first. I didn't know what it was.

Well, that was very white of him, you know, because I feel like if a black person don't take you off this ship, they don't let you know, look up over here, we're gonna we're gonna end this.

This is a black person will tell you either if we're not together, then I don't even know you.

Are you still using my shirt?

I'm just gonna have it where you're gonna log in one day and think that you're about to be watching a movie and you're not password.

Now, I feel like it's petty to like hit them up and be like, yo, you using my ship?

Why no? No? I think that the way the way I would do it is just change it in the middle of the night. In the middle of the night, you wake up, or maybe you're watching something in bed and it's you gotta realy, what change it? After I see that you just started watching something. Oh absolutely, twenty one minutes.

Into this field, you just paused to go to the poor before.

You see them watching the season and you see them get to the last episode, then you change it. I don't even want to let him get no, I don't. I want you to be in the middle of an episode and you just like what. I gotta really let you reset the router. You gotta change it on the weekend because that's when people are really watching it. You have changing on like a Saturday morning. Okay, maybe yeah, that might be peak Netflix hours. Well, Paris, have.

You ever done something to an ex that like people? When you tell them, they're like, oh.

That's I think all my exes hate me. Well, let's get into it. Talk about it. Top three exes they hate what.

I just checked my Instagram this morning and one of my exes was like, in my girlfriend pictures?

So I don't I don't really know what to think. Well, you got to take the picture that you posted of here. Your girlfriend was quite nice. I was like, can I like this? It's a very nice picture.

She's fine, But why is she on my pages? I mean, you got people? Well, let me check the photo your ex.

You just posted a photo wait, of your current girlfriend and your ex girlfriend who's in.

The ex girlfriend liked it?

Maybe girlfriends have you had to be honest?

Because well, the current girlfriend is the only girlfriend that the world know about.

But I had maybe five to six, five to s how many girlfriends have you had? That's way more than me. I only had one other girlfriend than Adrian, and I hooked up with about like nine women, like five nineteen five five. Okays like nerd. Yeah, she's like nerd. Well, I hooked up with two girls at the same time, So I mean I had several girls at the same time. Oh, okay, the same bed. No, maybe I would just leave one house and go to.

The Nah sense they were both in my bed. Are you showering between sessions or you just ye some show?

You gotta shower with face washed, but you gotta do the whole thing. You you got honey in the go bag? Or no, you have to go home. I was okay before this relationship. I was a cheetah. You were a hope.

Yeah, you can say that too. I think everybody has to get there, how autumn. I think everybody's born with a little bit out when them I'm here, get it out of you before you stop using the word no.

No, I like the word hope, I like the word head. Yeah, what do you want to use and replace the voe. I mean, you're just being grown an adult.

You do it when when a kid is being grown, that kid is probably gonna get pregnant before they graduate from high school.

That's it. That's being grown. But when you're an adult, you don't. You're not being grown. You are just getting your home out. Okay, let's talk about this cheating. Okay, okay, let's talk about it. To talk about it?

What I mean, which one? The last one? The one before that memorable? So this last one, I don't. I think that she's probably on my page because I just like broke up with her through an email and got with my new girlfriend.

Wait an email? Is this a job? Like you? You email her which is super formal because I blocked her on everything else, so I had to email her. That was the only But I were a couple. Yeah, why wouldn't you meet up with her and be like?

Because I didn't want to, She didn't want to let it in, but I didn't want to do it anymore.

Yeah.

I was just tired of just constantly saying why I want to I hate explaining to myself. Honestly, I hate If I want to leave, you just let me leave.

I don't think you should asked me why. Well, some people want to close your bitch don't have clothes. I don't have time before. That's what. That's what. That's what emails are for. Warm regards, warmly yours parents. That's what doors are for. Okay, so you emailed her, but you had been trying to break up for like a couple days, a couple of weeks, a couple of weeks. So what did you say in this eat? That's how good the cat is.

I told her I had a new girlfriend, just don't contact me anymore in the email.

In the email, I mean you could have texted that. I didn't want to text her. I feel like that's a waste of an email. No it's not.

It's it's good.

Is it possible? When your phone? You're like, why she emailing me rather than texting me?

And then she probably tried to contact me and then saying she was block boom damn.

That's great Paris. And how long were you with this girl? Two years? That's a long fucking time.

It hit somebody with an email pics it's like, oh I got a new girl, don't contact.

Did you hit her with two weeks? Notice when you was getting ready to break up.

No, I told her that I was talking to someone else, and then she just was been to the respectful I don't want to hear it anything.

Okay, wait wait wait, so why did he get How did you get here? Yes? Because nobody New York. Yes, how did you get to the point where you were like, I don't want to be here?

And she was like, because I was already doing what I wanted to do, because I was trying to get out of it. But then I met mykar and girlfriend. I was like, oh, we have a connection. I'll start spending time. I started staying at her house and started spending a lot of time. So I was already making excuses to not see my girlfriend at the time. So I was like, okay, I'm finally done. Like I don't want it anymore. I knew in my mind I made up I didn't want her.

Bo Okay, wait, when you were staying at this other When you're staying at your color girlfriend's house, did you do anything like Patty to kind of give this other girl hints like Hey, I'm hanging out with somebody else.

I told her I was saying someone. She told her, I told her I told her that to her face.

Oh, okay, you're an honest cheater. Yeah, cheating, That's what I'm saying. If I didn't want to be there anymore, but if you won't let me leave, what am I going to keep arguing having conversations about why I want to go? No, I'm going to go.

I'm going to tell your hands I'm gone, and I'm going to block you so I don't have to have these conversations anymore.

Why do people do that? Because the dude, the last guy that I broke up with, it was the same thing. I wanted to break up and he wanted to stay together. And we had a whole talk, a whole two hour discussion. It might have been ten minutes. I don't know. We had a whole talk, and I was like, Oh, we're on the same page. I can answer this. But but I was like, I was like, oh, we're on the

But I don't want to talk about what we talked about. When you're done, you're done. I was conversation.

Why are we talking about what we talked about? People don't want to start over. We got it, guys. You guys know how to cut people off. You know we don't because I don't think I'm hartless. I think I have a big heart. I have a little one.

Okay, but you are a petty expert, so you got to have less of a heart than most people.

Correct? Correct? Can you please define what petty is? Yeah? What is it? What is petty to you?

Petty to me is a quick response to something that someone tries to do to make you upset.

Okay. Petty to me is when you do something unnecessary to hurt or annoy somebody just because you can. That's petty, Like you don't have to do it, but you're like, I'm gonna do it because I have time, Okay, petty.

Petty to me is the last laugh. Getting the last laugh is petty to me. It's like I'm gonna win this. Well, that's pretty much what I think before I do everything, petty, So.

That makes everything's a competition. I just feel like I should win all the time.

What did you realize that you were like, Oh, I'm this person, I'm this bitch, I'm gonna I'm gonna do this.

It wasn't in relationships. It was just with people. I think I was petty as a child. Oh you got a kindergarten, you had a daycare? Petty story.

I live with my grandmother for a few and she was like one of those grandmothers that just tried to make the grandchild do everything.

That's what grand us to do. No, they're not. She was your stale, she's how was your home? Was your grandma? My grandmother now is in her sixties? What? Wait? What you got one of them? You got? Okay, so the.

Whole, the whole lidiature strong. Yea, your great grandmother would be eighty years old. Yeah, wow, past and your great great grandmother would be your grandmother is a battye.

I bet like I saw your picture of your mom. Yoah, I'm sure your grandmother looks like her sister.

Well, my grandmother is one of those older women who acts older than what they are. Okay, so she dresses like she's still in the eighties.

What she looked like I mean she's she's gorgeous, but she.

Just wears like wrapper heads and big puffy jackets.

And she got the do rag or the.

She gotead grandma looks like, yeah, she still wears the mushroom that you do with the rollers yourself.

Though your grandma still uses sponge rollers. She uses Oh I thought those died. I thought so too. Your grandmother is rock Sanne Roxanne. Her grandmother is shoot Night.

That's actually what I call her. She has just sweated as his boss on it. She wear it a lot. But as a kid, she used to make me do everything for her.

So oh, and I hate that.

That's adults are so petty to children, but we're like, go get that remote when it's literally you can.

Be under yours like I've been at school all day. You've just been sitting here on the couch. Why don't you get up and do something?

Because I birthed you. It took me nine hours of labor and you ripped up my vagina. That's why you get me this.

But she was my grandmother, so she gonna say, well, I mean she birthed your mom, who birthed to you, so you know, by default, like she owned you, that's your landlord.

I found my way to break out of it.

So she used to make me make her sandwiches every day.

As a child. What are you putting on a damn No? She wanted like the subway things.

She wanted letts, cheese, tomatoes, sliced uf pepper on the bread, mas everything Like. I was like seven, but I had like real life responsibility to be a story.

Real about movie. Yeah, so I got. I got, you said real life response. You were making a sandwich.

But that's a lot for a sound for a seven year old is not a real life responsibility.

You make it. You had. You had little hands that could get into the mayonnaise jar deeper, bigger hands that could make the sandwich quicker. Yeah, but you had that that young energy. You you knew how to like. That's what she thought.

This time I made the sandwich for her. This was the last sundwich she ever asked, what you Instead of putting letters on a sandwich, I put cabbage Like she didn't like it. Cabbage, she'd been into it. The crunch was super hard rock cabbages.

She never asked me to make her a sandwich. Sandwiches, Yeah, she didn't beat your ass. I definitely got that. Yeah, there's no way she's doing you walk away with the time. But her cabbage. First of all, she also bet that soundwich. You made this up? You probably cult like real cute, real diagonal style and.

Gave her the cup of pepsi wood because she loved I was like, you couldn't need this. You put a pickle on the plate.

Now did you You got a little garnish on it?

Did you toast the bread? What kind of bread? Was it just wet birdat bread? O?

Yo? Cabbage? Yeah? Put the was doing that.

I feel like somebody could call b c W on her Bureau of Children. I don't know something.

I would say CPS Child Protective Service Yea, but I don't. I think it's different things in every state. Yeah, what is it? I think a CPS in DC. Okay, Bureau of Sydney. Okay. So they sent you all the way to the top.

It was not the highest highest level in the office.

Was some people who run the company. She was in the Yeah. No, my niece, My niece was in child services. Okay. Yeah, so I'm not making this word way to bring the mood down.

Sorry, change the whole tone of the Sadass Podcast of Beating your Child's ass and going to b w c W.

Okay, so your so your grandmother was like the first person to make you be a little petty?

What about your mom? Yeah, I had I got a lot of ass.

When as a child, So I believe like to think that, Yeah, I was a pretty pretty bad kid.

You have the pictures of you as a child. Yeah, yeah, I know. You know she was bad. You know she was one of the bad.

You the type of kid that you put all the barretts in your fucking hair and then you go to school, take them ships out come pick you.

You didn't even let them put I believe that I had like a lot of braids and corn rows and things.

Yeah you said no to the barrettes. Yeah, I didn't want that in my hair in kindergarten.

No, I feel like everybody had maybe like kindergarten to second grade, maybe bower so out the second grade I was done. You were like, just let me get some straight backs. Oh I had a choice.

I would complain and my sister did hair, so I had a choice. How old was your sister. She's three years older than me, so she was We still didn't figure out how she was. She was doing your hair when you were in second grade. Your sister was, she was in the fifth grade. Then O fifth grade? Is how old are you in fifth grade? Nine? Ten? Fifth grade? You're in your how we ain't got no kids? We are not your I don't know.

But my mom did hair, so she told my sister how to do hair, so they both did my hair.

You're sitting to the bobos and you were like, I'm a grown ass. But you were fighting in school. You were you were assassin teachers. I already know your report garden was like talk to a lot of kids. No, I had great grades. I just got kicked up because.

You seem very very smart, and you got to be witty and smart to be petty.

No, I know some dumb petty hood kids really that couldn't leave class after a while. It was like they put them in that one class all day. You know them kids Paris. Were you one of those kids?

Because you were probably I wasn't a special once I got to middle school in high school, but I don't.

Know because you were bad. I was bad. I'm smart, though, talk about this, so they.

Couldn't take me anymore, like I moved from like a hooded area to the suburbs. And then once I got to the suburbs with the white people, they was like, no, this person is out of control.

Like this, this nigga is bulls this nigga, we have to get her out of here. So they put me in a special ada. Why do they do that. It's like, you're not special white because they don't understand it.

But you can't be in a class with thirty two kids because you're a distraction, so they put you in a class.

It's not I come to learn to read and write, Paris. I'm not here for your class.

So I did my work first in the first fifteen minutes. I always did my work. Then I distracted class the first fifteen minutes.

Though that's not all the work. Everything else is homework tomorrow.

No, but you know how thought the rest of those stud the kids can learn fast like me.

That wasn't my problem. If I looked at your paper, it would be half of the page. No, it was really good. I was the teacher, pet, I was helping other students. I was really smart.

But you were distracted. Okay, class, hold on, So how you teach this pet and you also, Yeah, in the first fifteen minutes you help. It's a lot do you work, and then the rest of the time is like Paris. I'm gonna sure, you're quite delusional, delusional, delusions of granded.

Some papers. I need to see a report cards. Yeah, okay, I'm gonna have some notes from the teachers. They still contact me, they still love me.

They trying to see if you were loive. They're like, you did yet because the way that you was talking in.

Class, well no, they heard you are going to be the face of them all. And so they're trying to get that plug right there. They're like, yo, you help us out.

They're like, I'm trying to get something from an eyebone pen. Yeah. I go speak to children now at schools. I see that. I see what's going on with that. What you're talking to the kids.

About being great and following their dreams and doing things that you know.

I was supposed to do a career day yesterday for the kids, these kids in Harlem. I didn't do it because I did it last year and the kids where they were mean. These kids is real rude.

They're like, but what are you on You're a comedian, But what shows are you on? Are you on walling Out? And I'm like, no, I'm not there. Okay, well then why are you talking to us? Are you on YouTube? How many followers you got? And he was like, it's too early. I took three trains to get here. I'm not doing this with you, Denise.

And they wanted me to speak to six hundred.

They wanted me to be a comedian for six hundred kids at like a at a prom that has no alcohol or drugs.

Oh no, sober ass, grown ass kids. They sober ass, grown ass and.

I would have to have clean material, clean clean at eleven pm on.

A Saturday, clean material eleven pm on Saturday in New Jersey.

It can kiss my black ass death. Not doing that. We don't care about the community. Oh actually, you know what they might hear this. That's I might cut that out.

That's hilarious. No, be the petty queen that we know that you are.

Actually it's yeah, there, it was so much emphasis on you said it from your diaphragm. Well no, I just feel like that's unrealistic.

These are kids that are at a prom at eleven pm and there's no drugs or alcohol, so they're trying to find fun.

They kids are going to be sneaking in alcohol and they're gonna do drugs at home before they get there.

Yeah, but then that makes me feel like I want to be a parent and be like, well, this is no drugs and alcohol.

I bitch because I'm sober too, don't sober, bitch. That's why I'm petty. I will be petty when I'm sober.

I'll be like, oh, you having another drink.

I guess we're doing wine early today before the sun goes down.

Okay. I heard you had a lot of work to do, but you're still here. Okay. Sydney should be the last person telling somebody that they still here. Sydney is queen of the state. Like Sydney will close the party down. City would be like, y'all need me to help stack the chairs at the end of the night. Yeah, he is not.

But I have drunk energy. Like people always think that I'm still lit, and I'm like, nah, I haven't had.

It's almost like like crack energy, though, like it's like less drunk energy, more like crack energy. You Marino, Alcohol like is a you know, it's it's not a stimulant like you're gonna crash eventually. Amulant tequila makes me aggressive. I don't drink tequila because of course you do haircut like that is like only I trust myself off of tequila. Just tequila makes me fight bouncers. I've had a lot of sex on tequila.

Yeah, I think it just makes me horny very mornings.

It makes me fight.

But but maybe for me, fighting is the first step of sex.

I'm gonna punch you in the face and then I'm gonna sit on it. Okay, fabulous, Thank you so much. F A b O l o us. You're terrible. So Hennessy is what you drink? Do you drink it on the rocks? Drink Oh that's disgusting. That's so nasty, disgusting. Made me a little crazynes here about that. I still I'm still drinks.

So first of all, pineapple juice, all sugar, Hennessy all sugar.

That's sugar on sugar. Hennessy is fire. And then you're putting sugar on type of fire. I feel like, no, it doesn't. It actually aggravates it more, it makes it. I like I would say, I've been drinking it.

I'm not king who introduced it introduced Hennessy to your black her neighborhood, her grandma, No, my second dad.

Your second dad.

Didn't want to be like a single parent, so she went and got me a second father, and he introduced me.

Were you when he introduced you to Hennessy?

I was young, just taking a tur kids in like the beginning of like minister Society, when they was hanging outside on the back porch with the older man.

Yeah, you you were cane. She was getting caine. Don't die. You were a Caine on the porch getting her corn rows. Yeah, I was young.

Listen, all he drunk was Hennessy. He had like this brown leather jacket. He used to keep the pint of Hennessy inside the inside pocket.

Uh huh. Yeah. I tasted it when I was a kid, and I was like, this is good. You were like nine. I was like nine, and your sister was braiding your hair and he was like, young man, you want of the brown juice. You hat them straight.

Backs with the beads like a little.

Boy he did.

I could see that the energy that that little boy energy a little bit.

Yeah, I was a super tomboy.

Yeah.

And even though you dress up and I'll be like, oh, like you look you look great, but I still feel like you would definitely rough house rough house.

You look like you wristling. Yeah, really yeah.

Sydney sounds like that's what you want. You were like, yeah, not even she said not Now you look like you would like throw me around. Yeah. God, Cass is like, I'm in a relationship with someone that I'm not cheating on right now.

Well, you know that's a good answer, she might listen to. Your girlfriend is great, thank you city. How do you know so much about her girlfriend? Well, i'd be stalking. Okay, that's good to know. It's not even really stocking. I'm very honest. I like liking sick Nile. Roll back to twenty seventeen and be like, double tap, you've got them shoes. They still look great. Yes, I mean me and parents, we have a connection. We do. Wow, just got real gay in here. Yeah, and it should be. You know

We talking about Dick maybe two months of the four years that we've known each other.

It's a lot. Yeah, I love it.

But I'm also like, you know what I mean, somebody who understands you was with dudes before.

Let's talk about that. Okay, let's get into that. It's great.

I don't get great. I didn't like start dating women because I hate them. It just was like, I like men, but I love women.

What do you like about men? The sex?

Okay, the sex, the aggression. Like I was like, I had a lot of on call Dick, on call, Dick, give me a com Really, I didn't want the relationship portion of it.

That's trash. I totally agree with you on that.

But I'm so disconnected because it's been like almost five years since I've had penis and I can't even imagine it entering me.

In my mouth. Oh that's not your truth. That's not your truth. That's not your truth at all. Oh.

I mean because my ending is like a girlfriend and her husband, So I don't.

So you wouldn't get married to a man and have a girlfriend. So you're a Spike Lee movie. That's what you want.

You are Nola Darlings. You know she hates me. I watched it and I kind of had a connection.

So no, she herself, she was stupid. Yeah, she gave the money back. I would have never given the money back.

We're talking about she's got to have it on Netflix. Everything else about her, but also even her with a relationship with Opal that that was not the girl. The girl was pretty, yeah, but that wasn't a real like lesbian relate that was not using her. It wasn't. None of them were relationships. She was having sex with all.

She was just having small feelings and sex right they were more so so.

She was just trying to find herself. You said it lost. She lost. She's lost. She's lost some money back at the end. That was the dumbest shit I've ever seen them. She couldn't pay her rent and she was wind definitely lost, That's what I'm saying. But the guy how much money. He sent her ten thousand dollars and she gave. She sent the ten thousand dollars back. She move and then she paid two hundred dollars for for every twenty one dress she could not afford. It was actually five hundred,

This here, I just honestly want to talk about lesbian sex and yes, but I want to get back to the dick in Paris' life.

Okay, let's let's do it. Can we talk about like a man that you felt like you needed to be petty too?

I feel like all of them, yeah, I was in control, well mostly all of them.

Since with glasses like that, I mean, she's not even her glasses on during sex.

She wants it's aggressive. No, not glasses on door secks, you would take them. Let me see how you look without them. Why you're always making me talk me? Let me see you said always You've only been here one time. Let me see them all here. You lay a slow eye, No, I got I got great eyes. Yeah, okay, ya thought I was. I thought that you had.

I thought you I did because Rick Ross has those same shapes.

I just saw your eyes and I feel like you took my soul. Wow, Like they're powerful eyes.

Sidney, you are an idiot. You have got to leave my house. You took my soul.

Those are some powerful ass eyes. Okay, thank you. She's so dupe.

But I mean, and I like that the color of the eyeball is off white and it's not.

It's offset. Your eyes are not white. Oh my god.

She said they're like she said white, They're all white and powerful.

She's like, they're like they're like eggshells. They look pearl. Okay, wait, so what's the pettiest thing you've done to a dude, to a man, to a man. We want to hear that. Get down the nitty gritty. What man, did you put cabbage in his seated? I didn't. We went out to eat a lot when I was dating man, of course, because they don't cook. Yeah, they don't cook, and I'm not gonna either because I don't like them. So, but you said you were here for the sex. Yeah, I

Were still gonna eat? But I'm not You're not my man, none of my friend. We're just having sex. We know that we're having sex. Whatever you do in your other time, I don't know. I don't ask questions.

I don't care. That's not my business. Okay, what's the pettiest I don't know a man? Did you ever cheat on a man? Did you did? A man's not cheating because she wasn't in a relationship I know, but but one guy for three years? Oh okay, so see you buried the lead. You buried the lead. Excuse me, Paris, how old are you? It's like you've had a long life of my friends had a lot of relationships early on. I'm twenty six.

Now twenty six is a damn lie. We will not have it at all, We will not.

Fit have it. We don't believe you, liar. What is wrong with y'all? I was born in nineteen ninety one. So is I I was also born in nineteen ninety one. That's crazy, sixth Paris. I'll be twenty seven in November. Yes, wow, wow, Si, So I'm only a month older than you, two months older to you?

Yeah, so I did that was like, how old are you when you had your first boyfriend?

I had my first boyfriend in middle school? Fast? See she was grown the coldest water ever. Funny.

Well, that was actually a good book I didn't have until I started having sex.

Having sex is what major boobs? I think. So, I think. So, I think that's you have.

Quite a story. I really feel like it should be a book. It sounds like a Lifetime movie to me. I don't think lifetimes like a Centric film. Centric is the Black People movie channel.

Yeah TV, and they still have parenthood on their So my first boyfriend, you were in middle school? You got boobs? When was it? When did you lose your virtunity? Seventh grade? Wow, We're gonna turn the tables on this. So how were your petty at work with me? Sidney?

You know, you know I wanted to pivot to you because you you wanted to pivot the conversation so fast.

I doesn't want to talk about the deck. No, Cidy doesn't want to talk about when she lost her virginity because you know she knows I was gonna ask her, is it is it too early? No? I was like fourteen And what grade was that?

Well, Sydney got left back, so she was in forty year to get left back.

I started late. What was the grade you were supposed to be in Sydney.

I'm so tired.

It's so crazy.

Because she said when she had text for the first time, her boobs came in.

But you didn't have boobs. I had none. I was complete. I was like, you know the batteries where you have like the there's nothing and then that little nub.

I have a little battery though, but yeah, I think the battery nub nub, that's what I us.

And then I didn't have breasts. Literally most of my career as a as a dancer.

A straight, as a straight woman. I mean, being straight is a career, you know.

Yeah, because I'm not getting paid for this, that's useless. But I meant to talk to HR. I gotta talk to HR about what's happening in my life currently. I should be getting a bill paid or something. I mean, you don't get bill's way right now.

I'm paying all of my bills, you know, close to on time by myself.

We know you single. I think I think it's some money out there for you. I feel like, help me.

She doesn't have to be a prostitute, Paris, help me get to this money. Listen, I think it's some money. I dated a lot early on Okay, and there's money out there. You can get money through conversation.

A conversation. It ain't tricking if you got it. It's really not because once you get it, then you got it.

But I don't even get what that means. It ain't tricking if you got it. Is that for the person who's giving the money.

It ain't tricking. If I think if you're getting the money, that's how I always to the person that's receiving it. It's not tricking because you're getting the money. I mean, I think that's what the definition of tricking is. I don't getting money to do things me, So, so paint the picture for me. You were painting you you were dating a lot, and you were getting a lot of money from conversation.

It's because A dated young. So the first boyfriend serious deep thing was like the in and of high school. Deep thing, Okay, I mean yeah, the ending of high school and then like going into college, and he was giving you money.

College boys don't have no damn money. He was a drug dealer. There you go that drug dealers are reference.

They don't have no concept of like value of money, so they just.

Throw that shit away. Yeah, but those are the ones you need. Because my friend is going I can't. I can't say her this was I was. I was like, we have things to do.

Yeah, I can't in a white suit, being like you're Hona, that's my friend.

She would never have a criokeed Wig on Orange is the new black. I I can't go to jail. I'm not going to I'm not taking the rap for you. I'm not trapped.

You know.

She's on camera with a double bag like yours.

But I don't think there's a lot of money in the drug game right now. So I wanted to tell her to find deal right now, they're not making money like they used to.

They're not well, they're giving the drugs away to pretty girls. That's why, Well the economy is not doing that well. Yeah, the drug game is just not as high as it's not what it was. You know, it's not what it was. His hilarious people eating type pods, so they don't need to do well. I wouldn't want to date anybody who's eating a typepod. Those are children, Those are children.

And so we were together for three years and then I was I was kind of over it, and you just left freely. I didn't leave really because he didn't let me leave really.

Yeah, he was a drug dealer.

We had several conversations and like I tried to ex for a break, like a week break.

He was like, break your face and.

He was like no oh. And then I like just like kind of left. But then he popped up.

Of course that's the that's the drug dealer way, though the hood new way is to just pop up at your job or your mom's house. Him and my mom had like a really great bond, so they pay your mom. Maybe he was when your mother likes somebody too much, Like you were like, it's obvious that I don't want this person in my life. More it's there's there's a there's money changing hands.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, but then I was just over I think I was. I just felt like I was young and I really wanted to get my hoe out of.

Me and I couldn't do it in a relationships. So so how did you get out? Are you in the witness protection program? Did you kill him? Is that why you're saying you're twenty six when you're ready thirty five? No?

No, I mean I got out because once he just didn't let me leave. Then I just started doing what I want and I just started acting single.

Good for you and you were not afraid that he was gonna pull up and just like hit you with his car. Well, I never dated like super big guys. I dated guys that I.

Knew if we had to tussle, it would be like a fair, a fair one, a good body. But it was just like it was a small body on to it.

It's gonna be a fair exchange to come down to it. I'm a whoop ye basically.

In other words, let me tell you the pettiest thing I've done in a relationship with a man.

We broke up.

Well, I said I wanted a break or whatever, but that was I wanted.

Him to change. But you can't tell a nigga who's not changing that you want to change. He's like, we want to break up, So I had a whole bunch of stuff at his place.

I still have the key. I found out that I thought that he was still hooking up with a friend that was allegedly his best friend. So I ended up going to his house taking all my stuff, putting it in a bag.

I did all his cocaine, I drank his beer, and then you did all the cocaine and drank the beer. Uh huh.

And then I called like five people, like what should I do? Should I fuck up the apartment? And then finally I spoke to one friend. The fifth friend was like, girl, you got to get out of there, and you got to make sure he doesn't know that you're there. I'm like, well, I did the coke and the beer, so he gonna know that somebody was here.

The locks liked this cocaine is good, this beer is too warm.

She's like, no, put everything else back, like your stuff put So I put everything back exactly the way. Well, I was high, so who knows how I put it back.

You just threw it on the ground. You're like, that's where it was when I got here. Yeah, So I I left and acted like I just never went there. And then he had hit me up. Like two days later, he's like, you need to give me my key two days later. It took him two days to realize his cocaine was missing.

Maybe it was it was on a It was on a Sunday, so he probably was out, you know, brunching. He did for two days, and then he had work on Monday and Tuesday, so he wasn't doing drugs those day.

But Wednesday comes keep the party going.

Oh you don't you don't do that that that I hate Monday bumfore, I hate Mondays.

You don't say I look my little friend tuesdays. That's alert three. You sure you don't be bumping up up? Yeah, that's literally.

The That's the pettiest thing I've done to a dude, But I've never done anything like to a woman.

Are you sure? Yeah?

Well, when we actually finally did break up and whatever the case may be that he wants to call it, I was like, we still can have sex because the sex was good. But then he started lying about like stupid shit, like he got into a whole relationship and then tell me.

That's how you get an STD just a whole relationship right by still having sex? Yes, by having sex with a person that you don't necessarily trust anymore together. I've never had an STD, so I think I'm fine on that. I mean, you're only twenty six. You got some times. I'm not gonna chlamydia in your future. I don't see the.

Ship in my future of my near nothing. I'm okay, you're near or nothing?

Hey? Hey, are you shaming people who've had? Shaming people?

Do you know how nasty our listeners are. Everybody listening right now is burning when they.

Get and I'm glad. I'm glad that they had her, so I don't have to are you today? I'm being honestly me. Who is this? This is Marie Foster you're talking about? I hat's gon STD?

Who the fuck had these STDs so I don't have to have them?

Okay?

Well whatever, you're twenty six, no STDs, you ain't got no kids?

Okay, whatever, bitch?

That mean?

I was blessed. That's whatever.

You better buy some scratch offs at the port of thority because you're obviously living.

You're very you lucky. I mean, we're so blessed to have you on this couch. I can't even believe that you came back here. You don't.

You're never gonna get an STD, but you want to bust though, you want to boat nick just like, well, I got some shit from just in the air.

That's fine.

Like you can't stunt on us, like I don't even know I'm never gonna get an STD and be like taking twelve buses to get to Nashville STDs before.

I think that there's still great people. Yeah, we're we overcame university. I thank you guys.

I'm here.

I'm here, and I ain't never going back. I ain't never going back to the clinic. Okay, I have not been.

I just think that I had a good run, that's all. I just think I had a good run.

You're hanging up your whole cloak. Good for you, man, I mean I still feel like you got some whole tennis, still got some whole Tennessee.

Absolutely, I think I lived through my whole friends now, I think.

I think I'm on the same path. I think I had my fun. I had a good I had a good like a good two year home run. Two years. That's how long it lasted for you. Since two years.

Then before I went out, I made sure I went out with a bang. So I definitely bang.

Okay, that sounds like an STD did it sounds like I don't know. I was scared.

You said you went off with it. You said you went out on the bank. So what was the bang? I tell us with three guys in like a three week span.

That was a gag bank since supplying And she.

Said said she said three weeks five centimeters.

Hell no, that's cimeter. I mean you could they could stand farther apart than that.

No, I don't want two dicks out at the same in the same space period. Yeah, that's too much. But two vaginas, two vaginas is fun.

No, I'm okay, I don't want to know that too much.

You look so disgusted. She's like one one and a half. Maybe that's it.

Two over one, two vaginas over two dicks, I'll take it.

Okay, that seemed like two vaina seems like more like too much work.

Well, thank you for sharing all this sexual stuff. I just want to know if you did anything petty at work. I did, h it's the pettiest thing you've done on the clock.

Well, it was one o'clock, but it's because they told me they was firing me, so they told you.

They told me on the phone them that I know, that's not petty, that's dumb of them. Manager.

And he was like a gay guy, and I think he was just way too sassy, and he was used.

To like bossing everybody around. Give me an example of his test.

Well, first of all, I didn't know who he was when we talked, because I talked. I worked for a tim agency, so I never really had to see the managers ever. But then they hired this new guy and he called me in and I just didn't know, like somebody ever said some of the phone and you had to look at the phone like.

Yeah, yeah, you look like this every time.

I So he did that, and I was kind of lost and irritated. So I just hung up the phone and left the phone off the hook.

And left the desk. Leave the desk. He's the new manager, and he said to you, we're gonna have to let you go.

Yeah, because I he thought I showed up late, but they sent me the wrong location to go to. So I was at the wrong location, but the right location that they sent me.

Okay, that's not your fault, That's what I was saying.

But he was still just talking ship it was too early, So you feel like arguing, ed, where did you work at?

Tim agency? Is a concierge in the front of apartment buildings? That means you had like a cool little blazer on, you had a little ball. You were concierge at a at different buildings before agencies with a hotel, no apartment buildings. There's concierge an apartment buildings. Okay, you're asking the real questions luxury apartment buildings. So you're doing in front desk.

You're checking people in, not really checking people in, more so helping people.

With Were you helping people? You were sitting there? They had packages.

I'm not I'm not checking a package. You got to use the back entrance, sir. No, no, I'm not signing for that.

No you can, sir, sir. You can't leave that box here. You got to go the back way.

I mean, it was it was a cool It was a cool job. You didn't work all eight hours.

I mean you didn't really work all eight hours. You sat there a lot of the time. See, I don't like I don't like jobs that you sit a lot because it actually it makes your butt flatter. Just to let you guys know, I'm telling you shouldn't be sitting there like for eight hours. It's a long time, because that's why I asked it so fat because you stand.

I don't know where you got this ship from. Okay, before you're getting your that geo facts from. But no, I'm only twenty six, so I haven't really lived.

Yeah, so you don't think I lived? Wow, Well, I guess I'll just keep living.

It sounds like more than me I think I did. I think you're started early. You're definitely writing a book, They're gonna have a show, So definitely. It's a lot. It's a lot more.

We can't get into it all today, but the pettiness lives on forever. I'll just tell everybody, don't get mad, get petty. If you got cheated on and you're gonna stay.

Don't get upset. Just cheat back if you're gonna stay anyway, I mean, what's the point. So is that what you've done? Somebody you don't use? You cheated on the back.

Yeah. If I know I'm not gonna leave, why am I gonna cry and throw this whole fit and then go back.

I think that's a waste of time.

I hate that and I hate people like that and talk to these friends. It's like, dude, you sound like a broken record. I know you going back to Yes, dude, shut.

The f up, So just cheat and go back. I don't know, just it sounds like a lot of work. Really. Why if I'm with you and you cheat on me, then it's done right. But if I cheat on you, then like you should not be so subsitive. You know. I also believe that cheated on don't they always go back? So I don't think cheating is a deal breaker. What who are you Beyonce? It's not to hard side. Chicks are good. What she said, well, because she was she's losing it. She's going through it.

She said, sheidicks as long as you be upfront with them in the beginning.

So she tort Kevin Hart's ex wife.

Oh, he didn't give her some money. He gave her some money. He was like, he was like, stop talking about me. You have to promote the propaganda right now.

He's like, here's some money, here's your little spousal support. Yeah something. Because that doesn't even sound like her when she's changing, she's going through this phase is bad. I don't know, well, I mean, I don't think that side chicks are good. I don't think they're bad. I think that if you if I mean, I think that if we agree up top that this is just like a like a casual thing, then it's not a side chick.

That's just you doing you and I'm doing me. I think two women and you can have a subject, but you can't.

Kidding me no, because afford to No, it's not.

That's why he has to be able to afford his main girl, and he has to have a little more that he can give her. No, but that's she can be broke. You can't take but you know, main girl and give to your side check.

That's stupid. You have many you know how many broke people in this building? Cheap probably, And that's what I don't agree with. Broke cheating. Yeah, no, you gotta step your uh. You gotta be in a certain tax bracket to cheat, right, Okay, I hear what you're saying. That's why. That's why, Beyonce exactly. I just don't believe that you can have a whole other relationship.

How do you have the time emotionally? That's a lot like im because you.

Tell so I used to be a sad check at one point in my life too.

I know you're speaking like I tell listen, you have to tell your sad check the one hundred percent truth. That's how you keep them balanced. You can't lie to your check her thinking to your sad check.

Right.

Then that's when the problem happens because you're already lying to your girlfriend or your wife.

You can't lie to two people. You have to tell one truth. I mean, if I'm lining to one, what's lying to another?

Because you're gonna get caught up in your lives because you have to tell them two different lines.

No, if I tell it like what if I write? What if I have an Excel spreadsheet with all my lies on it? You don't have that much time looking around, Like, hold on one second, me just check my check my Google doc. I'm gonna write a book. Lies from the sideline. That's a good line. Lies from the side line, that's honestly. I feel like it's gonna be a oh absolutely, But didn't you know you were a side ship. I was in this.

Man's house, he's full on married, Like it was so scary because the whole time I was there, it was like, Yo, she's gonna come here, she's gonna have somebody else coming here, Like, there's no.

Way she was married. Yeah, this is her home, she lived there, did you look at it?

She was in she was in another state, she had a gig or something like that, and I was there a working woman. Yeah, oh no, like super established like these were just like I shouldn't.

I shouldn't even put myself in that situation. But I did shout out to Patron giving me the confidence that you need to be in another bitch's house. This podcast, this podcast is not sponsored by Patron now or Hennessy, but it should be.

Yeah, I was definitely And then I was looking at her close and just looking you tried it on a jacket. No, she had totally different body type than me. She had wife body, and I was side chick body, not even side check. I shouldn't have just I shouldn't even have been in the running for anything. She had a wife body, was that hips and ass, Oh great body.

If I show you, if I show you a picture, you'd be like, this was cheating on on her with you? Wow. Yeah, you're definitely Wow. Not saying like I'm not shit, I'm just saying.

Like I mean it sounds like you're not. I am in that situation, in that scenario.

Yeah, I have.

But at the time I was twenty six and okay, okay, so this is yesterday.

Okay. I had to know the STD so I was like, live my life.

That's why I started before twenty six, so I want to have to wait until Yeah, but you don't know.

You don't know what your life is going to turn into. You don't know that you should be a hole young. You don't know that when you're thirty, people gonna look at you and be like, oh you you out here in these streets. Really, I don't know.

I just feel like you were maybe you were maybe you were in your work done fifteen minutes into class because I didn't realize that, like oh now.

It's peak whole time as a child.

But I had older friends so they was already being ho so they were teaching me each one teach one, right.

Oh well, the more you know, the more you know. Is there anything that you want to leave our listeners with, like, any any tips on properly being petty, any tip anything you shouldn't do when you're trying to be petty, Like anything that's off limits when it comes to.

I don't think nothing's off limits when it comes to being petty.

Oh that's her show, that's him. Yeah, Oh wow, Sidney, these photos, I can't even I can't believe.

I think you should go above and beyond. Yeah, she looks like she looks like a basketball wife. She do, But he also looks like a cheater. He looks like his and.

Her face looked like he got all the time. And when you're gone is woman here? He definitely looks like at the core of his his face, he looks like the moment he takes her to the airport is another girl coming to the house. He has got the Tristan Thompson vibe.

Okay, okay, Tristan Thompson smile in his face, Okay, I mean, I mean, but she's gorgeous. She is gorgeous, But she also looks like when she's on her gig, she may go on dates, she might not.

She know that he's cheating. She doesn't look bothered. She looks like, Okay, he can do his thing, but I'm gonna do mine too. But I'm not gonna like like, that's not my color lipstick. This is day dates. When she's out of town. She absolutely, yeah, this is one hundred. Oh, this is who this is.

I just saw the name on the Oh. She absolutely goes on day dates. If a colleague is like, hey, uh you want.

To go, she she's gonna let them pay for her. And she might let him touch the titties. She might let him findle the boo. No pictures, but definitely he might could touch them. Right, he absolutely gonna touch them. And she's been working out. I was like, damn, dude, yeah, because she's got many men in her life.

Many men put cac on me.

Listen, Paris, you were leaving us with something I feel like deep. It wasn't.

I don't know if it was deep. I was just saying, it's I don't think there's no limits to ben petty. I think go above and beyond when you're being petty.

Yeah, be all that you can be. Wait, but what if it's friendships, Because I feel like, if you can even pay, you don't really want to be that person's friends. That bad because I couldn't see myself like say, for instance, me and you have a falling out, right, we could be petty, but that means we don't want to restore anything at all right, that's what I want to say.

Now, if you're going to go back, yeah, it's no point of being petty to the extreme if you're gonna go back. But I don't think y'all friendship will get to that.

Level of petty.

But you feel like it's but see patty, and it's still a friendship, not petty on like I'm trying to shoot on this bitch petty, right.

I mean, I think because I think that's when we say the word petty, it sounds like capital letters petty. But you could be petty in like small ways too. You could like.

Friendship, petty is fine, but if you don't have any regards and becoming the person for and again I say go all out, Wow, Ben, Patty is not about saving anyone feelings. I don't care. My whole job is to win, just to win. All she does is win, win, no matter what.

All she does is win, win, win, no matter what they say there. So that's it.

I just say, just don't get mad, just get petty on all levels beautiful.

That's can you just hit us with your social media? Where can people find you? At Paris? And my website is official Paris dot com. I was gonna get into the spell again from last week.

Let's get into it and but the listeners didn't hear this part of the say right. So white guy early on two years in my career, bought Paris dot Com, didn't tell me.

Later told me to come and meet Christopher Columbus. He's a lawyer.

So he later told me to come to lunch about some deals and then deals.

Freaking Josh Man. He was into the.

Drinks and then he was like, hey, have you tried to get a website recently? And I was like, why'd you ask that? Because I already knew it was something coming. And he was like, I bought your name when you first started because I knew he was gonna be big, freaking freaking Travis fucking Edward freaking Tedward right.

So I was like, okay, said it to me. He was like, I'll send it to you.

But then two months past he didn't send it to me, so I emailed him and then he was like, oh, going to get it to you when I get a chance, and I just was like, you can keep it, okay.

So he was holding your website name that you had not yet tried to start hostage. What was this business deal? What was this business deal that you went to?

He wanted to talk about something that's a lie.

That's a lie exactly.

He said, lobster and he he's gonna be there, and she came lobster.

He said, no garlic butter, just dip hanny butter on your I stopped. Actually, I had.

One cup of Hennessy right before you told me. Then I was like, I'll take some water because I wanted.

To hear more.

You had a cup of Hennessy, not a glass, you know, the glass of Hennessy.

I hate you.

At the same point, I was like, Okay, it's time to stop drinking and really.

Listen to this because I feel like this white man is trying to own me. I don't trust white people. I will never drink a cup of Hennessy in the midst of white get a glass of Hennessy either. You're not catching me slipping and being super nigga. Yeah, I mean one couple of Hennessy. Drinking a couple of Hennessy in front of white people. You're gonna on the boat, Well, I've done it thus far. I haven't really been on the boat yet. You don't remember being on a boat. But she was on the boat.

The boat, what Amina's boat?

Wait? So this so Joshua says, I bought the domain name two years ago. When I saw that's crazy. That's lifetime movie behavior right there. It really was. And he was like, oh, she she's the one. He bought the name. He was, he was on his way out. He was like, what did you say That comedian's name was Paris Sash? He spelled you know, yeah, straight white men don't how to spell. Is this Sash like a Sasha? Is it Sasha with the a at the end? Okay, bought the name.

He was already he already had shipped, backed up and built up.

So I was just like, I'll just a self defense class.

But I think now like he let it go or something because I just stopped contacting him.

So he sends me messages.

I don't respond, and he already sees that you're flourishing with out that fucking website.

So your wee it's official Parasa dot com.

I mean you sound like a mixtape rapper, but it's fine. Yeah, yeah, I mean I might drop some hits on. I mean you look like a rapper. I can see you're doing some can you can you wrap? I got a couple, I got a couple of bars. Can can you leave us with some bars?

You can leave us with those bars? No, that was the worst beat. Your hand is too dry, it's too flat knuckles. It's like you have a small hand with that beat, Sydney, I hate it.

I'm not gonna do it today, Sydney.

You want to influence everybody to be petty over the weekend. Do something that you've been wanting to do for a long time. Girl, there's gonna be so many fights starting. They're gonna be in our dams like that.

Paris trouble Baker, Yes she is petty. Okay, we interrupted you. Where can people catch you? Official Parasas dot com and then what else?

Uh at Paris on Instagram, Parasage on Facebook, Twitter, Parasasha, Parasasha.

Paris, good luck with the mall stuff. We honestly heart you so much. And if we do a live show, I totally want you to be there, Definitely, I'll be there.

I love you girls too, black girl, thank you, Okay, getting too love you.

It really doesn't like too much sex, too much love. No no, no, no, Sydney. Sydney don't like me talking about six I don't, which is crazy, like I just became a holy Honestly, she won't let me talk. Okay, Now now is the time before I make money people, before she gets real into her. I mean Rihanna is doing it. I mean no one's dropping sex stories on her because they want to come back.

That's how fire the pussy is, so you gotta do its.

Thank you so much, Sydney. It was beautiful seeing you here. God, this was so fun.

You know you can always catch us on Instagram at Unofficial Expert. We had a our monthly show at hot Box at one one Christy Street next Wednesday, twenty fifty fifth at eight pm.

Yes, please come through, slide through, come and bring cash because we will be taking cash at the door front people who listen and saying I love you guys. If you're not on Patreon, we'll take the money up front at the show.

At the show, shout out to everybody who who just listens to the podcast. We love you, Hi, Wally, Wally, All right, come go over to the Patreon and listen to the messiness there also bye guys.