"The No Dick Expert" with Yamaneika Saunders

I mean, I can a dollar, dude, you didn't give me a full dollar. I have it and I have assist but I definitely needed them donuts. That's a meal for the day. How many donuts did you eat? I don't know. I wasn't counting. I was like friends, I feel like they gave us ten and you had maybe six. That's a fucking lie. I got you an extra one and said it was your birthday, even though it was my birthday last week. But whatever's this either way. Shout

out to Nugget Donuts for the diabetes. They don't sponsor us, so don't go there, but shout out to comedy, Hype and Breather. We're in a studio today. Breathe is also not sponsoring us. But for those of y'all who who need If y'all are like cheating on your spouse, this is a spot that you rent a room for meetings and you rented by the hour, but like it's cheaper than renting like a hotel. And they got Wi Fi so you can blow somebody's back out and check your emails.

This is spot and email your wife. Listen, baby, I can't meet you for lunch. Won't be there tonight. The boss is riding my back. Literally, you're riding your boss. And it doesn't show up in like the credit card statement. No, it's exactly you can say. App it's like, oh, you spent forty five hours for a day. Yes, yeah, you were like that's lunch, that's lunch. What's breather? And that's where we had food. That's where I had lunch. I mean I was eating an ass, Sidney real question, have

you ever eaten ass? I feel like you've asked this question on a podcast before. Yes, so what man? I did it? So? What? So fucking what? The guest is rolling her eyes at you. Okay, I did it. I did it. It was like somebody you were with for a long time. It felt like a long time. If you've eaten ass, please tweet us on Twitter. I just want to see who grows Murray. I'm not this person. You always bring out the nasty and me. Yeah. I was like, I didn't ask you to eat my ass.

I was not there when you were doing that. You always give me to say this dumb ass sh it on this podcast. I'm done with this podcast. I'm time. All right, well let this be the last episode. Okay, this is it? All right? Then, that's what it is. Have you ever eaten nass? Hell? No, have you ever gotten your ass eating? Yes? But it was very I was I was caught off guard. It was like he was down there and then he got he took a wrong turn. It was like, wait, what I didn't like it?

Was it a boo? Was it a boo like your boyfriend? Yes, the last nigga. That's why you mad at you and you're gonna leave me, you know. Listen, if you got your if you licked ass and got left, please find us. Please jump on our Patreon and pay for bonus episodes. Because that's obviously you need that the laughs in your life, Sydney, were you an expert in anything? This week? I'm prepping for you to leave. So I feel like when it's come out, you're gonna ben And I feel like this

the episode is gonna be real sad. No it's not. I'm gonna be listening to this episode and listen, I'm like, she leave, damn Lie. I'm like, nobody gonna ask me, so how's I don't know she They're going to ask you even more than you're like, have you spoken to Marie? I'm like, while she's out, she did well. So what are you doing to prepare for me? Leave it? Oh? You know, just I'm about to cut out a whole bunch of pictures of you. You're just gonna cut my face,

cut you out, like like I dumpt you. Wow, Okay, cool, cool, I'm cool with dad. That's fine. I'm looking for a replacement. Maybe our guests could befal can do it. She booked by and she is. You don't got some She's not poor enough to be my replacement. She got too much money in too many shows. That's true. You got to get somebody who's doing bad. She got her own bathroom, like she don't share it with seven other people, She's doing too great. I mean only shared in my bathroom

with one person. Sins which you say, I shared my bathroom with a woman and two other cats. So I'm doing terrible. That's the let's being way. In twenty eight two, Marie, were you an expert in anything this week? I was an expert at preparing to go to La Yes, yes, yes, yes. So I went to go at a suitcase from my aunt's house. It was too small because I mean, I'm

gonna be going for like a month and change. But in my mind, I'm like, maybe I'll be going for two months, Like what if I'm out there killing it in a book? Something? Right? Because I bought it one way ticket, it was cheap, cheap. Since let's talk about how you do you ever buy around trips? No? I always do it. They they they're cheaper that way. It's cheaper to buy a round trip ticket since you you don't pay for your flights. That's why you don't know.

Fuck you. I listen the way sprint, not the way spirit is set up. You buy a one way, but then you had to you had to pay for, like bringing your purse on a plane. I don't bring nothing. I just go there. I don't need to be like your spirit be like, yeah, carry on can only be the size of an envelope. And you'd be like, oh, this is this is a book, and they'd be like, you gotta pay twenty dollars for that. Listen, I'm gonna be traveling this year, so I'm gonna be buying round trips.

Don't worry, I'll put it in the air well. I go to one Way because I was like, maybe I'll book something and I have to be there through April. True, that's why. Or maybe I'll be there for like three weeks and be like it's too nice out here, the sun is too hot, and maybe I'll come back to New York. That's probably not gonna happen. No, it's not. I've already planned for two months of no Marie a word. What you're gonna do the next month, what you're gonna

do in March. I'm gonna just get more in contact with the brown sisters of the community. You don't know no damn black everybody, Sydney. When I met you, you had not a single black friend don't even do that to me. I am your first black friend. Jo would be like. I was like, well, I feel like people think that I don't have black friends, And she's like, do you think you do? Yes, I said, Adrian's my girlfriend, Marie's my my best friend. She's like anybody else. It was like,

you're my friend, Yamnia is my friend. I'm a nigga. Now your friend. Y'all are colleagues. Colleagues? Wow, Well, speaking of colleagues, I feel like our guests that we're about to bring in is more than a colleague. You're more than a woman. You're more than a colleague, more than a writer. You are inspiring all of the children out here. You have a great podcast called uh Ranting and Raving. Yaminika Saunders give it up for our no dick. I'm no dick expert, Yami Saunders. First of all, you are

a friend and sister exactly. Yea. But also that's for me. You know, I don't like fucking with people in general, so you let us know. Yo, I turned my phone off, I can close my door. I'm just a loner. But yeah, I mean, you're obviously my sister and friend. I hang out what y'all do with y'all? What than I deal with anybody else. I don't like dealing with people, anybody else. Since the last time I saw you was a long term ago. You haven't been outside. I have friends who

are like, they haven't seen me in months. I mean, I'm a I'm a phone person. Now, I will say this, y'all don't call enough. I called you when we were on the phone. Were on the phone for a long Yeah, we were hour and a half. I mean it's gonna be praying for you. You put me on the circle. I get the spirit of sin out of you. Yeah, this, uh said, come on, you know Dick twenty seventeen expert.

It sounded a lot better than the intro. I just got no Dick, Like I don't ever get well, don't you don't get no idea you're out here driving No. I mean we've already discussed. Nobody in the realm has gotten Dick. Is got Dick in twenty seventeen. Nobody YO put her hands in the circle right, No, it's a sad circle. I don't want to because you're never gonna get Dick. You hate you didn't know how my life is set up. You don't know what the Lord has.

Plastic dick I have. Okay, well, then you've had dick. You know that's not the same that's not the same thing. That's the same same thing. No plastic dick is not the same as dixis. You didn't have no plastic dick in twenty seventeen. I didn't have anything in and out of my huha. You don't have the hush apishie. You don't have the little vibrator, the magic one, that giant vibrator that's like the size of my arms. All. I don't use those type of vibrators as dil do's. I

don't like putting things inside me that's not flesh. You see that flesh that's in the Bible. That's sounds like fusions or something. And actually boom, you see right way. You don't have no toys. I just didn't have a toy that just don't throw anything up. Mahu ha got a little bullet like a little so you got a little club, You got a vibrating club. Get scared and then they put the cats. You you masturbated with the

cats in the room. I don't kick them out. You gotta gets in front of the Cats, in front of Forbes in Brooklyn, Shut Brooklyn and that sex young you got fun. You know. They're there for every Even when I have guys come over, the guys are like they want to kick the cats out of the room, and I'm like, I'm not gonna put my babies outside on the couch though you in the living room. Sometimes they like they it's their house too, maybe living the dude's toes.

Actually a lot of guys, Like I haven't had a lot of guys, but I have guys that have come over and you know, we've hooked up and they jump, you know, because the cats pounce on the bed. They don't know because all they see is stuff moving around and they think it's like play time. So when the last time they've seen something in the bad Wait, hold hold on, let's get back, let's go back. Let's go back for a second. Oh yeah, yeah, we gotta we

gotta go back. First of all, yeah, you've we've tried to get you on the podcast before and you were our roasting experts. Yeah, but it turned into it was in the eyes of a black woman. Send me that so I can just listen to that, Okay, and do you still have that episode? It? We had so much fun though, right and then I wanted you to be our Edibles expert because I feel like you are queen of doing the Edibles. Whenever I see you, you and you're in another world hire flying? Huh? Is that how

you deal with people? You gotta be Sometimes I just like to forget, like I got, you know, for for all everybody things I have going on, I'm still struggling to hustle in and I have my broke moments still because I have my expenses of gotten more, you know, because you got a nice apartment. Yeah, I got a nice apartment. I got, you got you got? You got one of them cats? You got to you got too spoiled ass cat. Yeah, like me got too spoiled ass cats too. Yeah? What about your can yo? If worst

came the worst, Jelly gotta go. Jelly is jelly the fat one. No, that's a skinny one, the fat one, the skinny one. She can't fit for herself, so she gotta go put her down. Wow. So wait, okay, so you got expenses? What else? Tell people what you got going on? Yeah? What are you working on? I know? I mean, well, you're always posting about what are you doing? What shows you're on? You're on, You're on laugh track mob La. Yes, and I did a show last night

with Cipher Sounds at the Village Underground. How is that? He played the clip from my Bikini Wax joke, which was really funny. I really love you did a great job. I love I. You know, I'm trying to I think they're gonna do another season. I'm not sure they Well, hopefully I get on. I just haven't. You know, I'm working on. I have an album that I have to record. Okay, okay, And you make it sound like you're doing nothing. I know that. You just your Comedy Central half hour came

out last year. Yeah, and it was great. Yeah, I had the cat suit. I got praised and flack for it. Yeah. Well, you know, I'm a big girl and I'm a big girl positive. But you know what it is. And this pretty kind of puts us into the how I wanted to his know, Dick inw thaty seventeen men have an opinion about women, especially when they don't think you should

feel good about yourself. You know, I think it's a way of like checking you and it's like, well, who do you think you are to be in this cat suit wearing this and you know, just like and unlisted responses from men that have so much opinion about whether they would fuck me or not. Men, it's men were fucked Like. It's never someone you want to be with. It's always somebody who looks like the gum on the

bottom of your shoes. If an unattractive man tells you that he doesn't want to fuck you and you don't want to fuck him, does he make a sound exactly? That's good? You know what I'm saying, Like timber motherfucker just fall down. Yeah. But it's always the ones that just because you got Wi Fi, should you be competent? Nobody cares, right, But that's what that's what the internet culture is now, right, it's people who should not be online talking about people that like are not on the

same level. As though you're in your mother's basement, you hanging your phone out the window for connection, and you're like you like that, get that you standing in front of a Starbucks using that free WiFi, like, you know what, I don't like you trying to get a connection too. I've seen a lot of people in there on a Wi Fi ninety sixth Street. So you know that's the new Starbucks. I don't like your wife, I don't like your blouse. So because of because of the situation, something

like that, that's why you started to know, Dick. But why'd you start it? Okay? So what I you know, what I realized is I was number one. I hate giving us history because I feel like I give it a lot. But I mean the listeners don't know, you unofficial expert, make it short and making short and cute. I grew up, you know, secularly and then religiously. So you know, once my family turned over and got into the church, you know, we was all in. Well, but

why how did your family? What happened? Something happened and they like we gotta pray what happened? But my grandparents us on nightclub and a little family nightclub. Like my aunt was behind the count and making drinks and stuff. Your uncle was dancing on stage. So my mother was a DJ. My mother spins, I've never heard this ever, my mother DJ. I don't talk about a lot because my mother's ashamed of me. My mother wanted me to spend and it was like my mother is so upset

with my ear. She's just like she's you don't have a good music ear, good enough ear for what I liked, I'm down with it. My mother was her because her name is Michelle Moo they called Mickey Mooy. She also was on Mickey Moore. She was a radio DJ, so like and she spent so there's the car eminem and she had eminent productions and all that. So yeah, my mother, she's the person that would get in the car with me, like you know, when I was in high school and

I would draw my mother around to playing. She's like, you don't hear the levels. You don't hear any levels. This sound off. It don't sound off. It be like everything with a quiz. It's like, no, I think it's fine off here And you got the name one of the street, like you doing you like I like this song and the basis builthing, Like what you mean the point? Like, man,

just do whatever you want to the radio. I don't even you know what, I don't even want to listen to radio as well as there's my question that I have what the hell is treble? What is the trouble control? But you know it's like so you have the base you have the trouble. It's like, I don't. The trouble like makes it It almost makes it sound like you

double is. It's like I want to, I don't. It's it's so I don't know, like like that, but I know when I base will bring in more of the beat, but the trouble will sort of balance something somehow, the speakers or something. Is so, you know, I feel like we're gonna google this and really get off of me. And this day that's true. Let's get so so what so you had this bomb ass club and then I put this handle up in my mouth and then what happened that made them be like, we gotta go to church.

They're gonna hate me for this. I'm so sorry. I'm trying to do clean. Sorry, I'm gonna have to be clean. I mean you're eating a candle ope, I mean that's clean. You gotta eat. We've never eaten on the podcast ever, So you're the first. That's not even what she was referring to them being mad at her for telling their business. I'm they're not gonna listen to this episode. You're fine. No, So, my mother's side of the family was very I mean they but then they got into night clubs, jazz and

bars and all that. And my father's mother, you know, both my grandmothers were very involved was raising me. So I would go. I would get handed off to my father's mother on the weekends because she wanted to take me to church and she wanted me to have that sort of background being in church. So I we go to church with all time. Wanted to be an usher. You wanted to be an usher. You wanted to be an usher. You had to see people take people to

their seats. I liked how they marched around. I like they had blazers on or that we had Like it was white on white on white white. So the only thing we would change that would have color is your hat and your glove. So like on first Sundays it would be black hat, black gloves because of communion. Sunday. Okay, second Sunday would be gold gold glove, glove jazz an emerald emerald. Since you heard that that's not not green emerald, that sophisticated green. It was. You wanted to be a

part of it. And I just loved how like they would march around. I loved how to hit those corners real sharp did you on behind their back and stomp? Did you ever do a praise dance in the church? I call it holy ghosts? Dude. Yeah. I remember when we had to get they were doing tongues and my grandmother, who eventually became a minister and went on to be a pastor, she was adamant about us speaking in tongues. Wow, yeah, like, and I remember I remember it's like, can you tell

us what that feels like? Well, when you faking the funk, it feels like nothing because you know what it is like. I remember the first like when they started, they really wanted the young people to start speaking to tongue. So we would sometimes we would have evening service. Even service would be at our church and sometimes we go to another church. And I remember when I was growing up, I can sneak home sometimes and not have to go

to evening service because my aunt. Even though my aunt's handicap and has my grandmother had German musles when she was carrying her, she was able. She was was able to function enough to drive us back home. And we can German means. My grandmother had German measles when she was carrying my aunts and my uncle's born with brain damage in here an impairments. But she drove you. She was she got to the point where she was able

to function. Yeah, she was a function. She wanted to tell me to have my own on here as an expert, how to really step up being handicapped because she didn't let that. They said she would never speak, They said she would never do it. I mean, she has obvious limitations now, especially she's getting older. She's always been hearing to put her speech is slurred, Jackie jackag brain damage, there's things that don't connect. She's never been able to

live in her own Make sure you get there. She went to community college, she got her drivers, she you know around her. At some point, her and I were like a little team because I had my mind. My mind was growing as I was a kid, and you know, she would execute whatever I need done. Let's go ahead and let's go here. And you know, we're sort of tag team, so together together, we were like a twenty one year old person even though six and you know, so okay, so okay, we gotta I feel like we

gotta get to the dick. I really got to tell you this is what happens. This is my life I don't talk about a lot of things, and you just you come to the Blackcast, You're like, let me release I feel like things that people don't understand about me. Yeah, but I feel like you're so open, Like I feel like when I've watched your social media videos, like on Instagram. You have a whole series about ninety Day Fiance, which is a show that I didn't even know was a thing.

I didn't know about it until you had it on. And you know what, And I want anybody to keep telling, keep telling TLC that because I'm like, y'all need to have me on. They do, because who is watching else is gonna get the t like I get the te You know how many people that I know that say they started watching the show because of you. Yeah, it's true. Let me on this, damn everybody. And the thing about it is I get I still have to do the reunion one because people are like, what happened? I got busy?

But what the hell is this show? So it's thirty and this is again this is again all into the not dick really and it ties in on the growth because there's a lot of ninety Day Fiance is you have people in the States. We have fallen in love with people abroad. However they met them, they either went on mostly online, and you know they get into these relationships. They're very quick. The people become impatient. You want to be around the person that you love all the time,

right because it's brand new. You want them there. So what happens is a lot of times these people get hustled because they want the person here. They have to marry that person for that person to stay here. They come here on a K one visa, which only gives visa didn't know, we don't know what t is. Kawe visa gives you ninety days to come here, be engaged and get married after that ninety days if you haven't got married. That persons and brilliant. Yeah, but it causes

women to like not investigate even men. You know, this is the take a show like women and men are both making missteps. You know, it's about also being thirsty and this is the thing that I know, like when you come through the first levels high but there's also like for as much as and I mean to say exploit is the wrong word, but that's what it is. That's what it is. They want to come to this country and they want to be sometimes a person who

is vulnerable. You see a lot of women who are like you know this one girl, I call her March of Dimes. March like I think she had a cleft lip that was fixed and more. I'm gonna call the March of Dimes. It's more of like her, herr dimes. She's the jar next to the cash register that you gotta put that change. I've heard of that. This guy that was like really handsome, he's from Russia and a handsome US and he's beating her. He like emotionally step

is whipping around. He's Russian. I don't want women to do this. She couldn't go to a back she he got pissed when she went to a backs red party. He got to stop her sisters out, Like you go, why would you put yourself in a situation like that, because well you live. I figured she lives in Texas. Like, no, no disrespect to Texas. There's a lot of marginal bitches all out America. And I'm keeping it real. There's marginal people.

Keep it real. Let me qualify when I'm listeners, wait, let me qualify before people get who the fuck is this what I'm saying is there are a lot of marginal, subpar bitches that you can go anywhere and see that they got men that loved that. Do you understand what I'm saying, So there's no reason to say I can't get I went to Tucky one time, and I'm talking about they got farmers, cows getting married. What the cat bitches with no makeup, looking like they just came up

the farm where overall's got men that loved it. So like they've been like, well, I reckon, she sucks, she sucks. You know when you when you look at a woman, you go, oh, this bitch ain't all of that, and then you go, oh, but this bitch knows she's all that, which she thinks she all that. So what I think is like a lot of times we get as women, we put so much of our value in what a man thinks of us. I mean, you know, Sidney, not you, but you know you're gonna hit me hard you out

here like that. I was with Dick way before standing there. But we're talking about now, you're talking about right now, saying right now, we're talking about right now. Sometimes I can't really confused about what you really want damn speak on this because let me let me turn up, let me turn up your make this Kelly Rowland wig she got o god, you know this age and them like come get me like little hat you ship that like you know real lesbian is like I don't think of this.

Cute it out of my face, like did you just h? And m bitch bitch is down Sydney's not h. She's at least a Zara. Okay, this is a Zara sister here, I am a tap of shopper. I'm a shopper. I'm a strawberry. And you may seas or whatever the fun like I tell you it's Bloomy's, but really it's below basement. Okay, it's iron c Yes, well, you know what, I've been dressing up and doing all the ship for so long that it's just so hard to get out of it.

Even as the brokens that I am, I still find a way I stay in rainbow, like I can't dressed this up and be and being and I'm and you know what, be who if you like I'm teasing because there's obviously there's all ranges of women who like different type of women is women that like you know, maybe a butcher woman women at like like a more feminine woman. I understand that, but at some point we are still putting our value of who we are into how somebody

receives us. So, so what happened? So you were tired of doing that? I got into and I think you all know, and without making it a big thing, because but you always stay done though. I never see you looking crazy. Oh I look you in the park. I be on things where people do my wigs and stuff, and I'll be like, all right, I'm gonna just keep this on a mannequin so I don't fuck this up.

Like if you saw me like my dorman. When I first moved into my building, they thought I was like some type of hook or something because during the day I'd be looking like Oprah without the makeup. That's a hard don't you talk about? Hold on the podcast, post the podcast and the google Oprah no makeup, and then she's still a queen and she still nobody's saying Oprah is a queen, not a queen. But what we're saying that she got a hard face with that making lobrial.

Uh bring me all my life. I had to fight all my life she's fighting. Now you got to kick backing box of class and she runs up one hundred and twenty fifth. I'm so tired. I did you know I got into a situation. I was dealing with one fuck boy after the next. Fuck boy? Where were you meeting these people just out shows comedy? Well, we're not going to act like we don't know what boy I'm talking about the listeners don't know. You don't need to

know because he knows and respect listeners. I love y'all. We I've gotten to a good place with him. I'm cool. Like again, I'm you hilarious, and you know he's going to be a rising star and it don't have to be Wow, you didn't work through with your therapist? Wow, you really walk through? No, no, no, it's not this. No dick twenty seventeen put me in a different perspective, because I'll be honest with you, that particular situation coupled

with other situations in my life. Really, it was like, how come I get so broken every time something doesn't work out with a dude? And then I get upset and it's like, oh, I haven't even made an assessment of this dude, whether I should have been even dealing with this since you knew that. No, I didn't know when I You gotta remember I was friends with this person. Oh yes, yes, yes, remember you know. And that's why

I said they have to know my narrative. My narrative is I didn't I love my Virginia in twenty seven. I grew up religiously lost in the twenty seven twenty get married. Wow, Evonne Orchie still has hers and her because when you taking it into your forties like that, you might. I think she's thirty four. I think she like my god, no food. You know, I know. I got her confused. I'm sorry because I mixed up who you were talking. I was thinking about, what's a name

from Parks and Wreck. I was like, I can't think of her name is like on or something about Retta the Black But the other one, I don't know who she's talking about. I've never seen times whatever feel good? There's another one. There's another Uh, there's women in their forties. This that's not like I was part of a virginity club. You don't even get it. Like we was keeping like you had rings and stuff. We would like if a girl was in our club. Was dating somebody. Somebody had

to go on a date with her. That sounds like trying to do that to me. And I'm so good at what I taking Sydney, but you had to take my friend out. But I got to be there. Yeah, and then I'll be there in the morning. I don't know. That begins to red. That's a song. That's what I was singing in church and at first in the Emeralds. That was in the book of Hymns. Yeah, page gets up. So you got in a good place with this situation.

But this person. But here's the thing. You have a connection with a guy or a girl and then it's it finds its way into a physical thing. And what I realized, I can't speak from a man's perspective because I'm not a man. I don't believe little man's experience. I mean, but that's to say that I have male friends of mine who have been hurt by women, and where are they? Where are they? I know a good portion of dudes, and I have to constantly tell them, I said, don't. And and what happens when a man

gets broken is he either becomes nasty to women. And I said, you don't want to be the man now because you've been heard that goes out and hurts women to spite this woman, because these women have to sound very is you say nerves you regular black American man. But it's it's do you know that whole philosophy of

like her people or her people? But as a woman, when you have sex with a man, or you become intimate with someone and we connect on these different levels or even city in your case with women and women is emotion, man, it is. It's all emotions. It's all talking. It's less physical, more talking. You know, a lot of my emotion is there. You you misinterpret what's really going on because it's like, oh, I like how you make me feel. And I also think that this is love

because we are also friends. And although a friendship and love and all that can coexist together, it doesn't mean like if I'm make an assessment of this dude, I'm not making a pure assessment of him because I haven't qualified how he treats me. Right, So you have to break down each thing. You have to break down friends, break down this. It sounds like a word problem that I don't want to solve. Let's do it, Let's not do it. But you see, I'm somebody I'm not good

with commitment. I'm like a commitment folk, right so like I mean, yeah, but but I'm telling you right now you have a commitment phobia because you don't want to get hurt and you don't want to break down those walls. You know. You know what, don't you, doctor phil Man. I'm not going to you because the part of the there's a you know, I'm a good medium between the both of you because I understand you. You know, Marie is ice so she can turn on it don refrigerator.

That's not the ice cube. She's the ice. You know what she is? Ice pack in the back, but fresh water, you know, the water ice come in and she's like, all right, y'all, I'm here. We got to do the ice. Honestly I am. But I also have a bubbly side like Marie. I mean like Sydney, and it takes a minute to get there. But I get there only when I'm comfortable, and it takes I'm the person. When I

come into a room, people get the wrong impression. You gotta take a coat off, you gotta take your hat off, you gotta fix your shoes, brush your cat, hair off your shoulder to people and feelings and emotions. So if I feel like it's some fun shit going on, I'm going to be the worst bitch you've ever I'm not gonna talk. I'm a limit what I'm saying, Oh, this

girl is a bitch. If I come in and nevite and the spirit's right, I'm there because because because I open myself up holy to people, I don't have time to be opened up holy to people that just gonna misuse and mistreat. I feel like I feel like I'm seeing you for the first time, says wow, because I see it because I've seen you come into spaces and just be like, Nope, not here for none of these niggas. And I'm like, hey girl, you're like no, and I listen.

When I first met you a niggas, she was like, I'm not trying to be no mentor and sister ship. We either we friends and that's it. Like, I don't be calling me asking me about coming everybody. I said, that's the but that's the first thing you said. You get a tattooed on the back, you can tell me. Don't mean about hustling. Because I gave her a hug and as I came in so hot, she came in like blazing from the soul of system and I was like,

I don't want to be bothered with this. And she probably had on some booty shirts and I had her. We was probably like twenty eight inches. Yeah, I know, she's like a skinny ass video ho. And she's like, hey girl, I to comedy too. And you were like, no, you don't know, you don't. I know you don't. I don't know what you do, but it's not what I do. So that happened. Uh, you were messing around with a bunch of people that were not good for you. You're

good for you. Fortifying that's the word of the podcast. Like I love to love people. I love like when you're around me and you really get to know me. There's a childlike essence that people always pick up because I'm very like, sitting in your space, I can love on you, especially when you're on an edible nigga Wow, even when I'm not I can have that. But it comes from trust. And what I really realized is there I did not want to be broken by somebody saying

they didn't want to be in my space. And in my life anymore. Well, if you don't want to be there, then why are you in my face right now? That's true, But from my perspective, every every time somebody would leave, or every time a god broke my heart, or I would take all of that on myself in a victim way, and then I would put all of it on him, and he is the villain. And the reality is but let me tell you why. But it comes back to why I said no, Dick twenty seventeen. Let's talking about it.

I did not want to deal with men in a sexual way and have any penis any of that because what happens is my core value of what I want as a woman is I want you to take me out to dinner. I want you. That's my core value as a person. So but hear me out because I want them to get because I think it's an important message that I that I learned this year. It's like, there's certain things. I want you to love me the way I love you. I want you to respect me.

I want you to see my mind. I want you to like go Yaive is a dope bitch, Like no matter what she I respect what she's got going on. This is the woman that I want to be with. This is the woman that I want to show the world. But ultimately that's what people want to be with you. And because I was fucking guys thinking let me with them, the love would come, qualifying whether they need to be in my life or not. I'm giving them because I know we all want this like slut walk and women

do whatever they want and fu whoever you want. But let's be real as women for a second. Our beauty and being a woman is the value of our body. Our bodies are special. I don't give a five you two pads or three thousand pounds on your fuck if you're hideous to people of your most beautiful like as a woman, your body and this and what we receive from men is very important. Men ejaculate into women women. I mean that beautiful is three three thousand pounds a

lot of pounds. He's not for no, no, no, Because like it's very important to understand that women are vessels that received you pick up that when a man comes into you and he puts his he's dropping that spirit off inside the spirit. But we're picking up energy and vibration that you may not need to pick up from this dude, because has this dude, And this is not about because some guy's like, Oh, women are just trying

to be golden, You're just trying to give it together. No, no, no, I'm just trying to see what value you place on my life and is it worthy of the love and the value that I'm about to give to you. Because more you coming to me and my body and fuck up my spirit and don't have your ship together, Let's qualify whether we need to even be in the same space. But are you my mate? Are you the guy that's gonna hold me down? Are you the guy? That's what

I'm so, that's what she's saying, that's what I'm hearing. No, it's about love. First of all, love me, but I would love me because men will fuck you. A man will fuck you all day long, and women go a lot because there's a lot of it. May not be y'all, but there's a lot of women out here going, oh but he he sucked me, He to me, and I hear I don't even know, Yo, she got so crazy? Why she gets so crazy? I was just fucking her, motherfucker.

Did you tell her you was just sucking her? Were you giving Were you saying things to her that was giving her encouragement and things? But all this was seeing situations whereas the dude has been upfront like, hey man, I don't want to do nothing, but women is like, oh, but I feel like we can get to that, and can I speak on that? Can I speak on that? Because again it's a out taking responsibility on both sides.

This is not me saying men are fucked up and a woman take responsibility for what you want, what you want to deal with, what you want out of your life. It's about knowing yourself and knowing how you want this to go. And if you're looking at this man and you already got your list together, what the fuck you want when you see this nigga is not the ship you want, don't fuck him. And if you cause it, don't happen fast to you. And let me tell you

what a guy gogo. You know what I'm saying, Like, you know, I ain't really trying to give no relationship right now? You don't try to do my thing? Even that to a woman is like it's a challenge. I could. It's me. I'm different. Every woman sometimes they different, And I'm gonna love it. That's why you see women like giving loving niggas beyond what they get. You go, why

the fuck you supporting this nigga, Loving this nigga so much? Oh, but he's misunderstand and he one day I'm gonna get him a man right away if he wants to be with you and beat your man and married. That's why women go. I fucked around with this dude for years. I gave him everything, and in the next chick he get with that Marri that he know for four seconds

he done married her. Because guess what you done? Did everything that you don't spend sponsoring this nigga, but that he can get his ship together to go be the man of another woman's dream with a man you get in your fucking vagina that's coming and ejaculating in commus nigga that's supposed to be using. I'm not here for a cream pie. I know I'm using condoms, but with Listener and all of that stuff, I was kidding. Nigga's nutting in you and just releasing that ship and going,

I'm not ready to do it. I might need to do eighteen No, I'm telling, but you know what when I stopped fucking dudes, and dudes knew I was not fucking. I got this type. I got several types of dudes. First dude I got was a yo, let me let me be around for twenty eighteen oh two. As soon as twenty eighteen was creeping around, my dms went through the roof because every nigga thought they was gonna be

the first nigga to fuck me in twenty eighteen. No, thank you, you think I went on through a whole year a no dick to go fuck with some raggedy niggas. It's not my future. Absolutely not raggedy. Answer your question that you asked me before. Have I fucked yet? Absolutely not the guy that I'm I didn't do twenty and seventeen. No dick to go and then fuck with a fuck boy before. And but that if I want to fuck a guy and it's just on fuck shit, that I gotta treat that dude the same way a dude treats

a girl if he's just trying to fuck. No, nigga, we not going out. No, you only come over. Don't call me on the phone. We're just fucking Don't call me on the phone. Man, No man, that I want to be my husband that's gonna come in and go. I want to let you know that I'm worthy of you, Yaminika, and then I'm gonna go, I want you to know that I'm worthy of you. Whoever he is, that's the guy that I'm gonna treat with care. That's my only issue with you is like I want somebody to love

the way I love it. That's impossible. Nobody's gonna love Like what do you mean? I said loveday Early earlier, he was like, I want somebody who's gonna love me the way I love, like the way I give it. You know, listen, I y'all know, I cook, I clean when people come over. You got them cats. But it's a full like what do you want? What do you need? Everybody having a good time? I give it and care.

I may not get a husband that is like that, attentive like that, but there's gotta be something in him that he shows his love and the way and I go. I can deal with that. You know, my grandfather's not a big talker, right, He wasn't a big huge talker. The way he showed love was giving us money, making sure we had a roof off our head. Sure that he's as women. You know, my grandfa is always like as a woman, understand being a gonna fuck around, be

the woman, be a strong woman. My grandfather raised it to be like that. My grandmother's way of showing love was here, everybody get you get a pot pie, like she make a pot pie for everybody. This is what I'm saying, everybody. You're giving everybody when you come home. It's like everybody got a pot pie for them. It's not like giving away random She give you all Bible tracks. Now that that wasn't special. You know, we used to about Bible tracks on Saturdays. But that's a whole other story.

Call me in for a Christian expert. Now, I feel like you are one the overall message, and I know I'm getting passionate. I'm sure the people like passionate because this is important to you. And you had no dick for a whole year. You built up, girl, built up. You gotta because my mind. Let me tell you something. The only reason why I'm able to sit in the same room with the guy that I cried over for months everason I thought about him, shed tears, is because

I go he's not my dude. Anyway, when I fuck him again, I don't know. Probably I love fucking him. Damn. Wow was no, No, it wasn't. What I'm saying is I'm using that as an example of like, how far you're not liking fucking him. I liked fucking him, but what I was mixing up was that I loved him and I didn't because he's not the man for me. We don't. He's a cool friend, but he ain't the man for me. He got he's not even a man for himself yet. He trying to be the man for him.

But I'm just saying, like for real. And the the other thing I learned going through twenty seventeen is I wasn't the woman that I needed to be for man. I won't like you learn that. I did learn that I was really you know what you And it's so funny because periodically you'll step out of yourself and you know what, really, girlfriend, I'll wake up in the middle of night and be like, oh my god, that time that he said that thing, and then I just like I was a really I was. I was not good.

I was a really bad girl. I think you've changed. If you see somebody, if you start dating somebody, now, no, I'm probably gonna do I'm gonna do I'm gonna do other bad stuff, but I'm not gonna do that stuff right. I'm more I'm more marine now than I was when I'm was people. But we also have to remember that people are only gonna do what no people are gonna like you're only people are only gonna do what you

let them do to you. That's it. So in that situation, I mean, eventually he's trying to open you up three years and you're like, dude, I don't say I love you like that. It was. It was so different because this dude that I was with, he was real emotional, he was like he was in touch with who he was like. He just wanted to talk about everything. And I was like, no, I'm not doing that, I say to you, because I can't say it was absolutely certainly

because life is so. But I guarantee you that you will come across a man that you will want to say I love you too, And I'm sure that and I think that too. I think that too, But I just mean that, like where we were in our lives, this guy was ten years older than me. He was more he was on a different level than I was, mentally right. And also I'm a taker and he was a giver. You keep giving me, I'm just gonna keep taking it. It's true he was giving and getting at

his home. He gave his time. He gave all the food that I ate for three years. Like he was just giving and I was just taking. I was like, this is great. And in his book he probably has this whole story about Marie. But being the person on the outside, no, no, you never know when you blow up, bitch. You were like, you gotta write a show. Yeah, oh shit, I want to watch the ship. Now blow up, bitch. You gotta go out there to La and blow up, because I'm telling you, I'm gonna be I'm gonna be

on my Instagram commentating on that ship. Did you do this to him? Take it from I'm watching on the watch on the outside. And as a as a giver, you just put on your lips still look dry. And some who says chapter as a as a giver, I'm seeing that like if you give, people are gonna take.

Nobody's gonna say no thank you, especially if they're in a place where they need well, some people will people some people will say no, thank you, but a lot of times more often than not, if you're just giving your time, your love, your energy, people will just take that right. Like we all know people that you see them and they're complaining and they unload all of their problems on you, but they don't ask how you're doing. But that's an example of them taking it from you.

The most dangerous person is in that scenario the person that gives, because over time, that person that gives builds up resentment and builds up a callous and the person that's taking, they just go off to l a for two months and leave you. Wow, Yeah, it's true. I'm like, you just gonna leave and forget about the time for the podcast. I feel like we've been here for several hours. I was like, you're just gonna leave a podcast, you know, a stranded like this. You see you see me pre

recording with you, recording for the month. This is like we got ten weeks ten weeks episode. I know. But I'm saying me as a giver, and now I'm in a situation in a relationship where somebody else gives way more than me, and I'm like, oh, I'm on the other end now, And I feel like unless you have a soul and a conscience, you won't feel bad about the taking that you can't give back now, not until like two years after ya breakup, when you home in

your pre war apartment. Like Tim, I was a crappy person. No, I mean some people never realize that they were crappy people. People don't. I mean. I have my father's mother, Lily Maisondos, who's Lily May. She was one of the sweetest women, and both my grandmothers taught me a lot about generosity, which is important to teach to The one thing Lily made would always when she would she would be so sweet.

When she would get upset, she would be like now you know, and it would be like the cutest little thing. You look at her and go you upset, Like we were like huge. It was so cute because it was a part of her that could not help, but like not want to make you angry with her anger. And I always thought, I said, when she was laid to rest, I said, my grandmother gave a lot, and I don't know how many people really gave back to a lot of people used her a lot of time. I felt

about and that's why I want. You know, people can get whatever they want. My own personal experience with no Dick twenty seventeen was what it was. It was a journey. I want a journey. But I got on the other side and some women joined me and said, you know, I wanted to try that. It wasn't just about focusing on not having Dick. It was like, let's that ain't even a focus at all. Now, I take myself to a museum and have a good time by myself. I

would take myself to dinner, took dates, movies, I dated myself. See, but that's I mean, I'm not at the point in my life where I can you can take myself to I walk all the times as I'm poor. I walked to the bus, I walked to the train, I walked in your journal. I have a movie journal. I would take babs. Can't Oh, I love that. I do think myself a nice dinner at home. Listen, y'all act like I'm rolling in the dough. I'm I got I got

a penny pinch too. So it's like, yeah, but what you what you buyd like, if you're making yourself dinner, what you make it for yourself. You make it tender loin or something. You make it. She making a whole Thanksgiving, She's making like a rack of rip make it Thanksgiving. I have, you know, Like now, I'm eating clean so it's like a lot of protein and and clean. What does clean me? I'm eating a lot of chicken, a lot of big chicken. Okay, nothing fried, nothing fried, no

batter on it. Every now and then I'll have a cheeseburger with no flavorless like the lettuce wrap you that's the lettuce bun. I'm so sorry to hear that. Yeah, I mean, I thought you were doing well, but you don't need that. But you really don't. I love bread, door bread so light since I stopped eating bread and all that. Now, let me pick you up like you really feel I said, I feel like I say, Okay, I ain't gonna float up in the clouds. Damn my god. I'm gonna do my best. So what was the worst

part about No Dick twenty seventeen. Let's get tell me about the urges? The worst part, the thing that you were. The worst part was saying to myself, am I okay with being alone forever? And am I okay? Real ask question because I'm getting older and maybe it won't happen. But I had to. I face that question every day of the No Dig twenty seventeen and I still face it to this day. And I just said to myself, it was like last week, I was like, I don't know.

Maybe I won't get married, maybe I won't have kids. I would love to be married, I would love to have children, but maybe it won't happen. And I'm and when I talked to my mother, my mother goes, there's a difference in you, like of the dependency. It's to be very co dependent on my family, and they financially supported me for many many years. They I was the only child my mother had. It was baby that grew

up only child that I have half sisters. So it's since my grandmother's passing it's been a disconnect of like disconnecting from all the things that were holding me up because one day they may not be there. Y. Yeah, that is such a real feeling, too real, because you know, like like if you're lucky enough to grow with your mother and father or your family, your aunts, whoever, and you call them every day, like I speak to my

mother every day. If I don't. She thinks I'm dead right recently because I don't see my mother as often anymore. So when I see her, I'm like, oh, like I can see my mom is getting older? Now does that make sense? Like I see it in her, and I'm like, one day, my mom is not gonna be here. So when I be on the phone with her and I want to yell at her or say something smart, I have to like, I'm gonna suck it in because these moments are not gonna be here forever. And the disconnect

that you were saying, I'm on the other end. I'm not cool with my family like that. And the people who were very close to me, who raised me, they're all passed away. So I feel like I don't have something to hold on. So my emotions are not as strong as they were before. Like I feel like I could do whatever because I don't have all these people

looking over and to disappoint them. You know you this, and I know like I get busy, but I always told you you could call me anytime, and yes, you can't call me before nine, no, because that's a real like I understand, like with you know, it's just it's just my grandfather and he's in hospice right now, so

we don't know how long he's got. And my aunt who's already has all these handicaps, so she no telling how long she has And if people die in the natural order they told to die, how it is now something gonna happen, I could get who knows, but you know, everybody lives in life to the fullest that they can live.

And you may be alone and and the reality is, I'll tell you about one of the weakest moments I had in two thousand and tell me when my grandmother passed and I couldn't process it because I was just finishing up, you know, the show I was doing and we had to tape that day. And I remember being on a set. Oh yes, you wrote about it, yeah, And it was like really crazy. And uh Safari Nikki Minaja's ex boyfriend. Just so people know, I don't want to label him like that because he does his own love,

but that's where we know him from. That's how he ended up on the show. And he was doing a schedule with us and he said something about he overheard me talking to somebody about my grandma. He said, I felt sadness on you, and he was telling me that he experienced two losses within the Yeah. I saw his show and it was like and he was like, Yo, it's all gonna be good. And I was like, he experienced to lose two people that were very close to him the same week. Yes, And then I had that.

I said, you know, let me put it to the side for a minute. So I never really processed it. I didn't want to see my grandmother. I couldn't see her laid out, even though I had been with her in the hospital. When she my mother said she looked better, and you know what I'm saying then, but I just couldn't do it. I had to. They had to close the cask. I came and hugged the cab. I couldn't

see her. But I had a moment where I don't because my grandmother died October the thirteenth, and we had her funeral about a week and a half later, and a guy from my past reconnected. Of course, they were like, she's weak, let's do it, let's do it. And I took him home and I took him home and he got in my bed, no, with his shoes on. With Forbes in Brooklyn, with the two cats. Well, the cats love him. They knew he had treats. He had treats in town. But he got in my bed and I

realized we did not have sex. Oh, okay, you're trying to tell this at the top, y'all fooled around, don't lie. I didn't say we didn't fool around, but I was adamant about not having sex. I'll see. I'll just say whatever happened happened, but it was not sex. We did not have any intercourse. But I remember it's over podcast. This is a lot living a lot you did, and it was difficult. That's why I said that I was glad I didn't have that many cameras like that. But

it's impossible almost sometimes. But I realized that all I was trying to press all of my emotion and my pain in being physical with him as much as I could be, and he he I was seeing that, Oh, he's just the same person he's always been. He's not available emotionally or so. I don't even think mentally to tell you the prof to be in a situation. So I was like, you know what done? And I blocked

him from my life. Goodness, did you block him on social media, him on social media everything because at the end of the day, again no dick or no vagina or whatever it is, or so questioning yourself. To be alone with your thoughts, to be alone with yourself as a person, to really identify what you need is very important to being accessible, to be the person that somebody else can join in. Oh, my goodness, you need a

whole class. I had to clear my space. I had to clear my I had to clear the distraction of fucking is great, having sex is amazing. I love sucking dick. I love At the end of the podcast, You're gonna wait until the fifty eight minute of the podcast say that I'm a scorpio, and that explains it. I don't know when I'm with the guy, it's like everything the ear is available. Oh that means you be looking as I have had my ass lit, but you've never ate ass.

The thing about it is, I ain't trying to put my sney or the only one doing it or the only one doing it an admitting it to say I haven't. I haven't. Maybe I'll meet a guy one day where I will to look his ass. I also get around like guys like don't do nothing around my ass. You know what, they're not open enough. They need to have

some molly in their life, some roofie. But I didn't want to distract, like how much fun I was having, and and we misconstrued like having sex is like this, I'm showing you how much I can't It's like, no, you're just you're trying to come and just it is. But if you're trying to find love, or you're trying to find a better understanding of love, it begins with you loving and knowing yourself because you don't know you hell, could you get somebody to love you and give you

what you need? If you don't even know? Do you know what you need? If you don't know what you need? Well, how do you want it? How do you feel? Because a great poet? Then what a great poet once said? I think it was Legston Hughes. Yes he did. Well, y'all, gonni go, Where can people who are listening catch more of you? Know? People need? Well? You know I have. I had a stalker last night, so I had to take my schedule down again. Oh you and marine stalkers?

Who is the stalker that somebody like followed you? From one show to another show. It's no somebody from like a weird it's a weird whole weird thing. Yeah, this guy like where's he wears like your skin? My gods are a big dead He like where he's. He's white and people don't so he has this. He has a T shirt of you of your face, and he got like mink coats and like the rings. But white dudes are when they marry, when they lock in, they they

locked down. When they lock in, they lock Yeah. And I ain't trying to human centipede you know about, but I'll tell you this. You're in front of the State. You can catch me on my podcast Ran and Raven with how Many Good Friends. You can catch me on Laugh Mob Laugh Tracks on True TV. They are still running my episodes a lot and you can stream. You can stream it, yes absolutely, if you want to go back and check out my half hour on Comedy Central. Yeah, it's there as well. I have a show coming out.

It's supposed to come out in April, so you know, I can't talk about that, but I frequent Stand Up New York. They always have their schedules up so you can check Stand Up New York's website and when I'm going to be there, the stand they're always putting up when I'm there New York Comedy Club and oh my god, so lazy. Yes, and you're always on social media. Yeah, everything at that's y A M A N E I K A. And I love to respond. So if you just follow me and you comment, I can't. I know.

I've been seeing people are like, this is not why I followed you. It'd be like an every white woman be like, well baby, I'm sorry, but what else would you like to see? I'd be screaming. Even if you don't see me say anything, I'd be lurking like it. I like it. I like it. I like your response, and I won't even like the post. I just let me see what the people say. You really have good

engagement with your followers. Posted a side by side photo of two black dudes David al Yellow and then the Luge on the podcast right, but two black dudes with their white wives at the Black Panther premiere, and I

just put Happy Black his three months. It was a hot topic for the amount of times people want to act like they don't want to talk about something like that and I'm glad I put that up for two reasons, One because hello, and two I had a lot of people that were very hurt, like I'm a product of it in a racial relationship or I'm in and I'm like, this has nothing to do with you. This is about a bigger narrative of there are black men who will say things that are disparaging to black women on why

and why they're with white women. And anytime there's a negative going out on why you're doing something, let me tell you something right now, that's not love. This love is love shit, it's bullshit. Not every dude, every black dude that's dating a woman who's not black, is in love. Because I'm gonna be honest with my white girlfriends just too. If you heard how these niggas was talking about y'all, y'all would be because it's not. It's no love there

for them. Sometimes it's like, well, I want a bitch and I can run over is what you think? Running track or pamsy bitches just here them. Have some esteem in yourself, like it sounds team of it so cute because sometimes you know to be because some white women's narrative is like, well, black woman just jealous of it, and it's like girls want him. We don't even want that dude. And sometimes, let's be really real, some of

you white girls, the white dudes don't want y'all. So let's be really real about whether it's jealousy or not. As much as it is. He can fuck you and love you all he wants, don't you. He don't have to disrespect me in order to in order to love you. And I would tell that to a white guy. That's why I don't funk around with Some white dudes are like, oh that chocolate and blah blah blah. I'm like, no, no, no, no no. If you ain't trying to love and fuck y'all Monika for who she is, get the fuck out

of here. That don't be turning me on because hashtag me too. We was getting it when when motherfuckers was really not worried about time being up, when mother is saying nothing and they was coming in there taking us at that point here here. Not only issue with those two guys save that I see my only Christian if you do this at fifty eight minutes, you did this,

You did this, Nica. The only issue I have with those two guys is that if you if they really love their wives, they wouldn't have brought those top shop sik's that she dressing like. They could have got their home, their whole family to make them the right type of out in the right pla, the rightik. But bitch in the did it right? Yeah, get it right? You got the same ship she had on I got for Halloween. I know you do camrazon type of level I did.

I want to know you a bitch of zero to twenty six can wear that ship has changed, it got stretched, You got a lot of less like I got like talking about you, h and m wait, no you slave looking nig shirt. I wear a monkey nigga shirt every day and shout out to the white women that be holding me down because I also need you all to march for my ship. Yea, when y'all go to these women, march, march my album around it because I'm nowhere without white

women holding me up. You know how white women get down. They love you to Yeah, nigga, we gotta go. We'll have you on another episode, so damn good. I hear we're gonna go get some munchkins or something. And Sidney's gonna give me a dollar as always. You can listen to bonus episodes on Patreon. My website is up and thriving Marie Foston dot com. I put my show dates up there and I was like, don't nobody crazy come to any of these shows. But it's out there. I

needed the you know, it to look full. So it looks super full. And if you're gonna be in l A at all between now and April, police company me. We will party and I have my one woman show March eighteenth, if you're available to come at the Duplex, and it's gonna be good. And I asked Sydney, I said, next time you do what, I want to direct it. Yeah, but you're too busy. Tell me what the fun on you? I know you. You just said all your dates and everything you have to do. You have a lot going on. Yeah,

I need somebody who are dedicated. Yeah, you dedicate my time, bitch. Fuck around. I will be directing the next What Women Bottle Girl, and we're gonna change the title. That's the first thing that's getting directed. I see, that's boom. That's why you can't do it. You know what, Sydney was a hell of a bottle girl school that play okay, all right, Thanks guys, Bye,