"The Nanny Expert" with Christi Chiello

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Hey hey, I see you're just sexy as voice today.

This is Marie after Hours. Welcome to the Unofficial Expert and it's.

The Sydney Washington Party people.

I'm the loud one today. Yeah, she's doing a different type of show. I just want to see. This is very NPR. Right now, I'm wearing an argyle list.

With no pants and I have no socks on.

Okay, who needs Socks'? Super hot out here? Thanks girl.

All right, So Marie, were you're an expert in this week?

Oh? We will start with me. Well, I was an expert at responding to emails professionally all week.

Oh let me know, because I need help. You need help because I just be.

Like, hey, hey, I had somebody who would email me.

They would be like hey there, uh who is this? Who's what is hey?

There?

But you know, uh, you know, I hit a hi, comma, whatever the person's name is. But I think the most important part is like how you end the email right, like the best or the thanks.

Or say thanks too much. I'll say thanks up top and then thanks.

Do you do thanks exclamation point and then your name? No? Okay, because every once in a while, like if I'm feeling cash, I'll do that like a thanks exclamation point.

No, I say thank you kamma or thanks kamma, talk to you later, kamma.

T two L two S Do you do a regards? Do you ever close with like a regard that is not me as a person? So I just can't yo. My sister will end with warmest regards.

I'm like, do you know this person? She sounds like she's from Nantucket the way.

That the way my sister types, like when she does she does emails, I feel like she'd be like whomever, there are four a forethought. I'd be like, what, like what you don't talk like this in real life, and she'd be like, but this is how I type.

And I could see that though her face says like.

Warm regards, warmest regard, kind regards, what's it? Sincerely? Are you Are you hitting them?

No, I haven't done a sincerely since college.

Maybe are sincerely? Is not cool?

Is that this?

Are sincerely out? I feel like they're they're out.

It's best?

Best is what it is? The best? Comma? Okay that means. So that's what I did. I responded to a bunch of emails this week. It takes me a while sometime to respond to people about things like it might take me like a couple of days, but it'll be And I'm My new thing is I don't say sorry if I'm not actually sorry. When were you saying sorry before? Well, you know, you'd be like sorry for the delay or sorry?

Are you saying it because I see you?

Oh hey, y'all.

Hey, I'm here an hour late.

So what I'm here now?

I'm not saying sorry no more. You caught me on me at the beginning of the nut saying sorry if I'm not sorry. That's it. I'm an expert at being very sincere. Mmm, send your father my regards, Send to Washington, Sidney. What were you an expert in this week?

I was an expert at receiving compliments from the guy said the bodega.

That is listen, that's the skill that you need to listen.

It's a skill.

You gotta know how to talk to them, and you gotta know how to accept it and just keep it moving.

You gotta know how exactly it's important to like catch it, throw it down, turn around, and get caught there because then now you live in front of the bodego. Yeah.

I was wearing this head wrap and I was getting a lot of cat calls. They were like, what up natural, I'm like, he don't know. I got bundles.

Underneath this thing. Thank you.

And then another guy just looked me all up and down and was like, you got nice ankles.

Like ank that's it, that's all I that's literal.

But I took that.

I was like, you know what, maybe I'll maybe I'll do about nicicles. I mean they're a little dry, but thank you.

I feel like compliments, a lot of women don't know. We don't know how to receive a compliment. Now, a lot of women will get a compliment and then be like, oh, oh this this is old, or oh this I got this for twelve dollars, or oh me, you meet me. You Like a lot of women don't know how to disaccept the compliment and just keep it moving.

Yeah, even though having fit that cat calling video and he's like, damn me, must be a lot of money.

I was like, that's a comp girl. You said you like five thousand dollars.

Okay, take that, take that in. That's starting Okay, you're starting off five thousand.

That's a great bid.

That's a great opening bid.

That's a great bit.

Speaking of great opening bid, Oh my goodness. I actually this transition doesn't make any sense. But we have a great opening bid. We have a Christy Cello. Here is that expert today?

Hi?

Girl?

Yes, a really.

Really good friend CC. That's what we call Can we call you CC on?

I want that to be a thing everybody calls me. Now I'm trying to get everyone to call me CC.

This.

This was the that was the greatest intro of all time, so hard. I was trying to not laugh into the microphone.

Do you have anything that you wanted? Are you good at sending emails? Like? How do you close?

Yes?

And how I end my emails is warmly. Why that's a pretty nice one because it's not best regards.

But it's why girl regards.

Warmer.

But you said your sister does a forethought.

She's just like legal jargon. I'd be like, this is you sending this to somebody on pricelist, like they don't need.

Is your sister esquire? Like what's going on?

She got a pH got I don't know if you got a master's degree.

I think you're both really experts though in those in those fields, and you with the bodega.

I try to take the compliments as best I can.

Are you good? Are you? Are you was receiving?

It's funny that it's funny because when you said, oh this it's twelve dollars.

I was like, oh fuck, I do that all the time.

I think part of it's like just wanting to relate to someone, like if some I really do get a lot of happiness to someone's like, oh I love your dress, and I'm like, oh my god, this was actually nine ninety nine and h and M Like I like sharing that knowledge. But it is like it's a way listing yeah, and I think it's important just to be like thank you.

Well.

It's different from like if you see somebody with a mink on You're like, oh my god, that's a nice mink You're like, that's right.

This is money.

I'm not going to tell you how much this is expensive.

Yeah, I just know I paid a lot of money for it. Yeah, and don't touch me. You don't, are you somebody? When someone gives you guys a compliment, do you then feel like you need to give that person a compliment too.

Sometimes sometimes it's awkward.

It's like I.

Think I am that person. I think that i'll like look to give them a compliment. And I don't know, I don't know why.

You'll look at You'll look at them like nice ankles, that's all you'll do, exactly.

No.

I was walking down the street and my sister yesterday and it was these two people in front of us, and one of them was a dude, and then the other one was like like a weirdly shaped woman and we were both like the body and the hair. The wig was a madder, like a mad hey, hey, listen, listen. It was like a mermaid wad it less terrible, And then we all stopped at the crosswalk at the same time and it turned around. We were like and it was a guide, right, and he was like he was like, oh,

That's what we got to do is to thank you.

Take the thanks.

Yeah.

CZ So you're a comedian and a comedian.

You've been on Jeff Ross, Comedy Central, Roast Battle, I have and trail. You got passports for comedy, like I know the passport stamps.

We are very impressed.

Thank you.

Today we brought you in to be the expert on Nanny's You're an expert.

It's like so funny, like yeah, I'm not yeah.

No, to be like a childcare.

Child care expert. I mean I do.

Have oh wait, wait, what's the other word on a.

Poor up.

Some expert? I am so far.

A pair a parent.

I don't know how you stay that crazy like a pair.

A pair marine. Can you bring me up?

Pair?

Yeah, that's what you are.

How long have you been killing the childhood? The child care?

You don't even want to know. How long would you know? Okay, I'll tell you over ten years. That's beautiful child's care experience. Now this goes back in life. I mean, I don't know how much time you ladies had a little bit, but I used to do, Like my one of my first jobs growing up was like I worked with kids at this theater camp and then.

Off the theater.

Growing up, No, I was in some place you never in the music man, No, what is that is that?

The places were like church plays.

Oh and a church play would be so elaborate and.

It doesn't even have the right kind of costumes. I was going off script at the church. Oh yeah, cracking jokes, cracking the congregation up.

But they never have the outfits. They never have the costumes. You just go as in your church clothes.

I feel like my mom would put like a sheet, you know.

I was like wise men or something, Yeah, like sow some sheets together.

I was one of the wise men, just killing the jokes, Like.

Why do I have this Paisley pillowcase on? Just killing the game?

So yes, but own musical theater.

I used to do a lot of musical theaters. I worked with kids doing that.

My mom kind.

Of like ran a daycare out of my house.

Growing up.

I was always trying to get that money.

I I'm here for it on those threets.

So I've been doing it for a long time.

And then I moved to the city waited tables, and I put it ad on Craigslist looking for babysitting work, and through like this fluke weird thing, this very wealthy family responded to my Craigslist post and I worked for them for six years.

Did you have sex with it?

Craigslist?

This was This was when Craigslist I think wasn't as creepy.

I think has always been.

When Craig first it was, it was for some ass Craig.

But now you can sell your panties on Craig.

Now it's creeps only.

But I feel like Craigslist was always for the.

Creep You're probably right, You're probably right.

Okay, So six six years on the books, they write you out checks or they pay you cash.

It was like half and half.

Okay.

I've done since you at this point for a few families here, and I've done on the books and I've done not but but you know, it's like a job at a lot of hours.

I like to be on the book. I'm scared of.

The I r S.

Yeah, are you good?

You're scared of the IRS.

I've never heard somebody you're afraid of the IRS.

I'm a lot of scared of the IRN good.

You better. You better gather these legal coins, build that social security that's not gonna be around when you need it. So six years. Did you live with them in house?

No?

I didn't live with them, but I traveled with them alone.

Where did you guys go to the Caribbean? Yeah? They stay that.

Went to the Caribbean, yep. And I actually went over like Christmas break. They were Jewish and I missed. I came home to see my family the day after Christmas.

They were like, what family? You don't have a family? Hours? Did? Okay?

Did when you go on trips, do they pay you the same amount or you get extra extra?

You get like that overnight you know, pay you for your time for your travel because you're technically you know, on call.

So but when you were on vacation with them, you were not on vacation.

You're working.

That's the thing.

Did you wear a bikini?

I did, and I actually had like my body was like eighty pounds later than I did.

Next that means you're invisible, thank you.

I was like a little skinny minnie.

Wait, now, is there like a nanny union if you belong to a well, isn't there a babysitters Clubs.

With Klaudia and Christy Christy May I can't.

Remember who else was. Claudia is the legit the only person that I remember.

And then they all had like fanny pack. Was there any Joe or some baby Joe?

I think maybe somewhere they all have fanny packs.

And wind breakers. It was like the tombaway. That's probably a lesbian now I know.

Chrissy is always like the diikey one. Is that bad?

Really?

Yeah?

I feel like remember now and then If I remember now and then, Christy was like a she was chubby, kind of frumpy. I feel like Christy is always a frumpy, frumpy chubs cup.

You're doing well, CC hush your mouth, so you would you went on vacations, went on vacation.

Now the kids are like stuck with you the whole time, and that they're like, you know, shacking up in the honeymoon suite, like the are you in a room with the kids?

How does that work?

I was in a room with the kids.

That's awful, and they were young at the time in America with his family.

What if you wanted to masturbate?

Like, why would you? That's so rude?

If what if you want going to work while I'm trying to masturbate, you.

Know, but I'm sure you would have some off hours, you know.

Yes, I would have off hours. It really wasn't bad at all. Like I would have time during the day. They'd be like, Oh, we're going to hang out with the kids, go chill out by the pool for a few hours, or go do this.

Have you ever gotten Have you ever gotten any d on these trips with the family?

No?

No, you know what I used to.

There was a guy who worked at the kids school who I went on a few dates.

When was he or was he the principal?

He wore.

You guys, both were in such different direction.

Yes, she's going to meet us halfway. She's going to meet us halfway.

He worked at like the administration.

Also, he was a secretary.

Yeah, basically faxine and silent.

Working maxine and work and mainly yeah, licking those stamps, like.

In those stamps and did he lick.

No?

Would you have led him?

Yes? Administrative? That sounds that sounds like he's in power, but he's not.

He was also a comedian.

Oh and then he now lives in l It's ruined. Is still in l a.

He's more of an actor now, but it's like legit things.

Oh what is he doing?

He's been on some HBO shows, little bit parts, but like, you know, decent parts.

He lent you up extra work.

For like a film.

I'm not gonna say yeah, she can't say, just write it down and don't you dear Marie sign It is always trying to get.

The dirt name name, She's all she'll tell you girls after.

She's Wendy Williams of comedy. She's trying to get your teeth. I love don't let her.

I love tea. I love that. I don't care how cold it is.

You guys, have you girls have a good way about you where it's like it's such a relaxed environment.

My legs, my legs, her legs open and she dragging the phone between.

Her two booths, literally between her boots TwixT her wrists, laying back on the couch.

Could not be more relaxed. You should have seen her when it puts my She was laying on the couch and putting her feet in Karen's mouth.

Was Karen projectile vomiting?

Know what you're trying to say about my feet?

Don't have bad feet at all. I don't know why you make some money jokes. You send the least flattering photos of your feet, Okay.

Keep it real. She's like, you need to filter, you need that cpia.

Not bad feet at all. You photographed them to look bad.

I think if I was a child, what would you say about my feet?

They were cute?

I would say that I could see your whole vagina right now. That's what I would say.

Oh my god, vagina, do you see how trying?

It's so dry? It needs some shape butters, No, I do, she does.

But it was coming out, it was coming out the side.

I was like that it was roast beef on that ass. Yo. And it wasn't just my vagina.

It was probably like my my rectum and vagina all night, like three holes. I don't even know we had three holes. Dude, Why did I say something?

I did say something like before, though I said it when I saw it.

Oh my god, do you see something something?

Wait, so Christy, so you're on these trips. Oh so you you went on some dates with the kids.

Yeah, it was like that guy that I Yes, we went on a bunch of dates. He's a really nice guy. I mean you know, I don't.

I don't want to sound so like it's but it was really nice. Like the whole situation with them, like I can't say a bad thing about that, but I mean nanny as a whole is like in the city is such a trip, Like you're just exposed to such a crazy different lifestyle because you have money, have have money for day, I mean money, like I couldn't fathom.

Do you think they know that they have money? Yeah, yes, Well.

There's like new money in the city, and there's like old money where it's like, oh, my grandmother was a social light back in the whatever, and they live in like the townhouses, and then there's like new money where it's like, oh, this guy works on Wall Street and he just makes bank and the you know, yeah, yeah, it's it's it's such a trip, but it's interesting, like how the kids are brought. I mean, I sound like so old sameing.

No no, no, no.

We all girls, like you know, we're like the same age, and it's like.

No, no, not Marie.

Marie is twenty three, twenty three and have birthday.

Thank you twenty three today.

I'll throw you off, right, He's like twenty three, bitch, okay. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was gonna stop you right there. I was like, I don't even let you say same in the same sentence of anything. So you're talking about pertaining to y'all the same age exactly.

It's like eighties babies.

Yeah, but like you know, I don't know. When I grew up, I didn't have nannies and drivers.

No, I had a mom who would leave me in the house with my brother and my sister and be like, don't kill each other.

I'll be right back. And she would come back and she'd.

Be like, okay, everything, And if I were like I am bored there, she'd be like play game, like make sure that.

My mom would be like go outside. Yeah.

It wasn't like I wasn't like this constant need for engagement, stimulation and like over.

It's just it's too much.

Anybody who would take care of me would be a relative or like a neighbor, right, and like my mother was not paying them, like this was off the strength, like hey, this is my kid, take care of them. I hope I'll come back and the kids there like that's.

That was my mom. My mom used to watch a bunch of kids in the neighborhood, like that's what, Yeah, she would like babysit. Like all the kids that were like like around my brother's age, my age and yeahs younger than that. So it's always kids them out me.

Too growing up. That's so funny.

I was the same way, always kids in my house, but always like And I think that's part of the reason why maybe you girls feel the same way. But like why I'm as creative as I am now is because I had a crazy imagination when I was little, because I would just be with my sisters or by myself and I would make shut up and play it. So I think it made me really able to entertain myself and to become this creative person.

But I think twenty years from now, the kids that are like stuck on iPhones and stuff on my Twitter and Instagram, like, they're not going to be creative at all. No, I don't know, there's nothing to do, but they're gonna know how to shoot some quick vines though quick bonds.

Right, I know, video killed the radio star.

I don't know why I said that either. We got a podcast. What's the richest family You've ever worked for?

Well, I definitely wouldn't want to say, like do you have to say?

Honestly, there's only been like i'd say, two main main families that I've worked with and like a few other families that I've worked with, and they're both one had a lot of one was like a Wall Street family and the other one was kind of like an older money New York like Grant, Like.

It just like passed down through like trust.

That kind of. So they would they would pay you in bonds and gold bars and like.

Yeah, like gold bars. It would be like in ductails. I would just like dive through.

Like gold cod Did you ever feel like robbing them? Like ever just wanted to steal some ship?

Yeah, I mean I think, I think. I mean I think crazy shirt all the time, And I would never.

Act on these You've never stolen anything, oh.

My god, never, But it's the thought of like they have so much.

So good.

She's like, oh my god, never, like she's been training herself for a year, like, oh my god, never, I would never.

I would never.

I would never every are gone, Oh my god, I would never.

Every job I've ever had, I've stolen something from me too, because every single one to me, so I'm single.

I mean I might have, you know, you see how you see how we do?

You might have, but they used to always get like these little get some clean neck.

Okay, you're stealings for your time.

If I was taking the kids to like ice skating, and I knew, I get a little stuffy that.

Feeling that's like for the well being of their I'm talking about going to going into the jewelry box and taking the rubies.

I might talking about that. I'm talking about going into the bathroom and stealing the lotion or the body wash or the rice cakes out the kitchen.

I think to myself, they have so much that I truly don't think they'd notice.

They buy in bulk. They do.

They love them from Costco.

Yeah, they yes, Oh, they love They want to buy in bulk because they don't want to have to go there.

Like online, everything's online getting delivered. You know, they don't go shop and ever did you ever have to cook for the kids? I would have to cook like very kid friendly meals. I'm not a horrible chef, yeah, I mean, like macaroni and cheese, grilled cheese.

Okay wait wait wait cheese wait wait Cecie, how you do your mac and cheese?

How you do mac and cheese?

Well, it would honestly be like craft or velvet.

Those kids going to die.

They're probably dead already, all those kids.

Wait, how do you make macantee?

You don't eat?

You get you get real cheese?

Girl, you don't give us your mac and cheese recipe? Ready, you get the sharp cheddar. I get the monster in there as well, because you fancy it's like.

Well, I mean, you.

Don't have to put it in everything. You just put it in little parts. Okay, okay, okay, okay, go ahead, sharp cheddar.

And white cheddar okay. And then what else? Macaroni? Okay you elbow penn us elbow elbow? Okay? Old school.

You do? You do?

You have a little bit of milk? You milk?

And oh yeah, that's what they say on the craft Battle.

Little milk. You got a little egg and egg? Yeah, like a like a raw egg.

You crack an egg, mix it in.

Yeah, you mix it in so it's stick together.

I think that's what the milk was for.

What does the milk do?

Then?

Well for the craft box if you're using the milk milk, because you're putting that powder, cheese.

The powder, that's the activation for.

I was all my food being powder for No. Wait, so then what else after the Is that the thing we saw? Pepper? Pepper, ketchup?

No, no, ketchup, condoms, pickle, pickle?

So what are you garnishing your macaroni and cheese? Play with weird?

I do a little bit of bacon supposed to sprinkle.

You're gonna write that down. You gonna write that down for the listeners.

Yes, you heard to hear crack that egg?

Next podcast Expert in Cooking.

I hate you. You heard it here first, folks, that's sexy macroni and cheese. Sexy macaroni and cheese. Sydney Elizabeth Washington.

Oh my god, that was that?

Will no way near be Mine was like, I don't think that.

No, you have one Burton Burt Reynolds Rentals Britain.

Are you for real? Yes? Boo? Really no? No?

Ask her why why is that your middle name? Sydney Sydney, Britain.

My mother, Ramona Washington be out here lyon. You know, she's pulling out.

All types of fables and fallacies like that that was your dad's middle name.

You're like, okay, So wait, but who's my dad though, trying to get to that.

Oh, his name was Sydney as well, and then you look up Sydney, Britain, Washington, because that's what was the lesson name too.

No, there was, there's no such thing. Just me, no way. Yeah. My mother's Ramona, Ramona, Yeah, Romona Romo.

No, it's a beautiful name.

M okay.

So you you would cook, you would cook, baby, would cook struggle meals for the children.

Yes, I would cook really unhealthy kids, friendly meals for the kids. I would do I saw, I would really like take them everywhere. Sometimes I felt like being like a chauffeur in a sense, because these kids are so scheduled. So'd be like music class, this class, this class, Take them there, take them here.

All these things, give them all these places they would you would take them, and they would still be ridiculous and obnoxious, Yes and rude?

Why is that?

Wait? The kids are the places?

The kids?

No, the kids were you know.

You had good kids?

I had good kids?

Are record You're still getting paid for these people.

Anymore?

Truthfully, I've I've met some kids I hate and some families I hate, But I've I've been fortunate where my situations have not for the people, I mean for the money they had.

So what's to earth? What's the sluckiest or like the crazy situation you've been in, like where the kid was like acting up or like embarrassed you in public, or like kno want of cheerios off the ship?

Like what's the what's the one.

Moment in your mind that you're like, oh, I wanted to kill him? O.

God, there's been a lot of those moments.

Well, what like which ones stick out in your mind?

There was one moment where one of the kids.

Is that kid still alive?

Because it seemed like not anymore? I got really upset.

Bodies where he I think he must have had a conversation with a grown up and I think he just learned this new thing. But he referred to me and the housekeeper and the driver as the help. Wait what I think it was maybe something a friend tolds him, because it wasn't characteristic of him. I think he was just learning that like I'm really not a big sister, I'm getting paid by mommy and daddy to do this, which I.

Think, you know hasn't got to be confusing. Eight or nine, when I think that happens.

That's an asshole movie. That's rude as that's a dick move. Billy, yeah, Billy roll ups up right now. It's hard.

It's hard to and it's just overall growing up, like I grew up with very little money. So it's like it's really challenging sometimes just the little thing I think, the daily things would weigh on me more and and I remember them more than I do any particular instance, because like little things like where you know, if somebody holds the door open for you, you look at them, you say thank you.

Right, just stuff like this.

But you know, when when you're so when they're so wealthy, it's just second nature. They're not as aware of how much they have, right.

Because they come to expect these things like and so they don't appreciate what they have like us broke folks, we get something nice.

Oh for me, God, I cried.

Unlimited metro makes it harder to accept things. Sometimes we have to start to teach yourselves. But it's like, you know, I'm having to learn to be less like oh my god, thank you, think you, thank you, and more like oh wait, I deserve this.

And like that's a hard thing.

This is a white woman talking right now, She's like, but no, no, I deserved this. When we get.

You know, when we get more opportunities in comedy, I used to be like, oh my god, thank you all.

I'll do anything.

I'll perform in your fucking bathroom for three minutes. But now we get more things, and it's like, all right, I deserve the kind of you know, we all deserve. We work hard, you should get more, yeah, for sure, but.

You know, people like to feel appreciated, and that's why it's reciprocal. Like I feel like rich people sometimes are not aware of the little things. And then I think sometimes people who are not rich are not aware of like the little things that we don't know are.

Like big deals to other people, right right.

I think it's interesting and not to like switch gears or anything, but.

I was just like, you.

Guys, excuse me, it's about me.

But did you know I'm like literally like a baby whisper, like I'm amazing with kids.

Because of your voice.

Yeah, I think I'm but like with babies, with kids, I have a way of like talking to them. It's like supernatural, Like any kid that ever meets me will love me.

And what is it that you do.

Do you have snacks in your knapsack?

I haven't give them candy. I take onto my white.

Van I should not make I was like, I was like, wait candy, I was writing. You were like, Christy got a car.

I'm like, what kind of candy?

A course?

Well, I'm very like imagine, I'm very good at making games. I'm really gonna improve on the spot so I can entertain anyway. I can just tell you the kids, oh my god, they love it.

But I used to not like babies because I just never liked them. And now I love babies.

I'm afraid of babies.

I used to be the same. I used to not want to touch them, go near it.

No. I mean like like if someone has a baby and they're like take her, I'm like no, because I don't want to drop baby. What if you're sitting down, I still don't really want the baby because I could roll right off my lab You are crazy, you know. I got these I've got these hamstrings that just they just they roll right off as hot as.

As tired. As you hold your purse, you're telling me you can.

I don't hold my purseon that tight. I leave my I'll go out and if I'm like walking around the store and my back is too heavy, I will leave it in an aisle and then walk away, come and still be there.

You do that, Yes, I do.

I leave my bag just out. I don't think it's too heavy. I'm just gonna sit it down right here when I come back. You would definitely do that. When I come back, my twelve dollars will still be here. I would do that with somebody's baby. Yeah, I love.

I used to feel the same way where it was like like I worked with the baby like the day they got home from the hospital.

But they're like the most like you literally think you're gonna break that thing.

Don't you think that's weird for me to like have someone that you don't know that well?

Yeah, what the.

This was like a family I had been with for years at this point.

So the mom was just like she was she was she post part of the press, and he gave me baby.

No, it was more it was like a really sort of like hands on a way of like helping her. I for sure, it wasn't like here take by. It was like being able to kind of like assist and get it. And I also kind of wanted it too, because I never even like really changed diapers, the whole thing.

You wanted to change a newborns. I mean no, but like I've been at their first they're worst poops.

I think, so yeah, they's you guys would die.

You know.

That's why I don't really get about nanny or the whole lifestyle is that mothers have that much help from kind of like a stranger.

And I just know so many people were single mothers who don't have help and they have three kids.

They make it work. Yeah, like you can do if you only have one kid. I know someone.

Who got married, had a kid, had she got a nanny before she even had the baby.

Oh for sure, people, there's teams of people that work for families. I mean I nanny with a family that had two other nannies, three of them, what and for three kids, three of us for three kids and a driver and a housekeeper.

Imagine you were like, if I, if I just get these other two the housekeeper, you can make more money.

I know, Wait, how much money did these people have? Mean money? Money?

Where them you know stay at.

Home and the mom was home, but she needed a housekeeper and a shift and three nannies and the driver.

No, I was home the whole time.

There's just what she was watching.

Mary Old Days.

Yeah, it's you saying that's crazy.

It's pretty, it's it's you know, it's really insane. And it makes me appreciate my family and my upbringing so much more because I'm.

Like, thank god, Cee Cee.

When you said my family, I thought you were talking about the family that you were nanny for.

Oh god, God so bad.

O God, my real family.

She's like, I love the gold stain.

Yeah, because it's like weird.

But when you're surrounded by like this weird, like different reality and you're the only normal person, sometimes you're like, oh my god, am I the crazy one?

Right?

Because a lot of those kids everyone has that normal.

And it's like that's I mean, especially in the city, to not have money in the city, like me, I am not the norm here.

I mean this is a wealthy city.

Everybody money though, like we ain't got no coins.

Well we're in somebody's apartment who has corns. But for the most part, I know everybody who's just like me.

I know a lot of Brooke folks.

I I mean, yeah, I mean the people that do what we do. But if you were to like pull people in Manhattan, I wonder how much of them.

Don't people be coming out and going out and eating out and drinking out.

Don't let these tailored Burlington coat factory suits full they are lying Okay, just because it fits nicely doesn't mean.

They car'd be getting declined left and right. They be on the phone with Chase Bank all night, like, but I.

Could have swore that I had like two checks that were deposit taking account old savings fourteen dollars nothing.

Oh my god, I love that. That's literally me.

Oh, speaking CC, what are the rates? Like you said, you don't have to say how much you make, but like what's on average.

That I'm average.

Would be twenty to twenty five an hour an hour? But I'm above that.

Fifty a thousand.

Theseless.

So when you go when you're going on a vacation with these families, are you getting like time and a half.

You really like sit down with them?

I think each family is different, but you work out in agreement and you just make sure it's like talked about beforehand, like hey, what are you what are you asking me for? You know the job might change when we're you know, what do you want from me? And can we decide what works for both of us and trying to work it out. But I'm a lot better at it now than I was then. But like you know, there are like nanny agencies that are like talent agencies.

But you don't use those right I have.

I've used them before in like meeting a few different families that I worked for like kind of part time, So I I have a lot of contacts with that kind of thing.

Killing the childcare game, kid, But I'm hoping that right now I'm not baby. I have a question today.

Well, no, this is my first time in my life where I'm like comedy for a while and I'm probably gonna end up like taking up some catering jobs pretty soon.

Tell me the money.

Yeah, we're not paying you right now.

This is this is you signed on the already. You ain't getting no wady for this CC.

Did any of the dads ever try to hit on you inappropriate comments? Never and never touched your None of the dads ever like let me drive you home, never touch.

Your ross me, never looked at me with a com hither stare never have you ever walked in?

I wish I could tell you more dirt, But now you ever, we're gonna.

Find some dirt.

Have you ever walked in.

On like the mom and dad in like a like a weird position, or like they looked like they was getting it in right before you and the kids got there.

No, because they hear see the dads, they're never around they're working.

White children with money also don't see their dads that they're working.

I truly it would be rare that I would see them with the mom and the kids and us together.

So what were the moms like? Did you like, were they like really difficult, like type A personalities or like who.

Yes, it's funny because they're all very very wealthy, but very very different, you know, like very i'd say, as like a general thing, very like concerned with appearances.

Yeah.

Yeah, And I think a lot of you know moms in the city who have kids and not I'm not saying this is even the people I worked for, because I didn't feel this way with them, but a lot of families that I know would be like, you know, it's almost like they want to show off.

You know, their kids wearing Adulty.

And Gabana's rious dresses that they'll outgrow in three months. Because it's like it's like a trophy, you know, you want so that kind of stuff is just so. So that's that's why I don't feel.

Bad with this outfit that they out growing three months. Do they give it to you? Do they?

Have they ever given you any good stuff?

Yes?

I get great talk about it.

Speaking.

I used to get like one time we were walking like me and the mom and I was pushing the kids in the stroller and we were together because the mom was like okay, but we walked by Aldo. They used to live by an Aldo store, and she was like, oh, I love those shoes, and we're just kind of like looking in the window and I was like, oh my god, I really love these.

The next day she got them for me Aldo.

She'd gotten me great for my for my birthday and for Christmas, huge bonuses, huge gifts.

I feel like if I'm walking on passing an A and you like, oh those are cute?

This okay? No, because everything is up there, speak on it. So if you will get me something the next day and I'm here pushing your snot nose child in this double wide stroller. You won't get me some some lubaton.

So you're telling me I didn't walk by no Chanelle Chanelleton.

You know, she to think of what she got me any You know what was great though, which I don't think you girls are going to appreciate it, when she would get rid of things that didn't fit her anymore. Okay, I mean, so gladly take these ug boots that you wore twice last winter, and I would take little jackets one of them. Well, it would be bad because one of the jackets and hands that taking was a jack like a maternity jacket.

Though perfect.

If the jacket fits, it's too legit to quit.

Uh, you gotta keep that jacket.

What's I think that's a pretty good I mean, you guys would take look at your word.

Karen's CC brought it out. She said, look, bitch, you're wearing Karen's hand medium. But this is the limited's doable.

Listen.

I'm just saying, like if we outdult like that's jump change for her. She probably doesn't doesn't own anything else, though, you.

Got to keep it in perspective. It's like I don't feel bad expecting that Christmas bonus.

But she only got you one payer an out.

She could afford you threepairs.

She could have got a couple in the sale rack as well.

She could have got everything to the front display. That's what I don't like about taking care of. No, I never feel taken care of when a.

Rich person, right, that's something for you, spends a lot of money at my bar. Right, I expect to get a really nice tip, Like you spend all this money on things that I had to bring.

Yeah, the fuck come up off that paper.

If you spend two hundred dollars on one shot of like what is a two hundred dollars shot?

Uh? Like a really really nice tequila?

Are you serious?

Yeah?

People will spend two hundred dollars on one shot.

It's so stupid.

Yeah, and then you'll be like, did you really just give me a two dollars tip? Oh? Oh oh, so you can pay for.

The drink you just don't want to tip me.

Oh okay, good to know. Well, thinking about it in perspective, so the shot that you're pouring is expensive, yes, but the amount of work that you're putting into pooring it is not more than if you were pouring no, you know, a rancho tequila or whatever. That's what I'm saying. It's the same amount of work if.

You want to get if you want to get regular service, like if you just want somebody to pour it and you want to tip them regular you go to the bartender. You don't have a waitress who got her titties out, who were in six inches the heels, wearing another's bitches hair on top of it.

You don't do that. You tip me accordingly.

You are paying the luxury to get all this.

You pay me accordingly.

Well, you know what you do. You got a tip, tip, a tip in the.

In the shop. That's how you get that.

That's how you get the big tip. Girl not doing that, and then maybe I'm not doing that anymore.

I've moved on. Guys.

I have people pay me just because I'm doing a good job.

Have you ever had like working with kids, and I imagine would be almost similar like working with drunk shop?

Oh?

Absolutely, absolutely the same mental capacity.

I can't find my shoes, Hey, bro, are my shoes on the right feet?

How do I get out of here?

I get Oh, it says restrooms, But is there restrooms there.

Oh, I think I peed money, so I think.

This is my drink. I think somebody took my drink. What do you mean?

No, we want to go. I want to go now.

I want to talk to your I want to talk to the manager right now, exactly.

It's the same kind of and then and then you get to manage, like you'll feel better in the morning.

Yeah, and kids are very honest, which I can also imagine drunk people being weary. Honest kids will say. One time I asked this kid, hey, do I have anything? We were eating core on the cob like a cookout. I don't know why I asked him that, but I was like, do I have anything?

On Monday, me and Marie we were at my job and this guy who was we later found out there was a magician.

He came up to me and said, you're very dark. Yeah, And I was like, what I said? That doesn't sound right. He's like, you're dark, you know, like you're making me look so bad. You're you're so dark. I'm like pale. I'm like, wait is he was?

He?

I don't understand you're.

Trying to hit on her.

He was obviously pale Jewish man he looks like.

A Weinstein or a.

Short what idiot? He looked like a melted John Travolta.

I don't like that.

Very dark.

And then he was like sensual chocolate.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Everything was like worse than the thing he said before.

Yeah, this one kid.

But I asked him if I had anything on my teeth. He goes, no, just a lot of yellow.

Man.

But you can't even like, hen't.

Even mean it as this.

Was Your voice is perfect. You sound like the kids. Do it again, He's like, no, just.

A lot of yellow.

You got this voice and it's dope.

Okay, Now does anybody else in your family sound.

Like this a little bit?

My little sister, my mom my, dad do not at all. My older sister not really. My little sister can do an impression of me because it's a little similar. So if you were to call, you know, my little sister sounds she could you think it was me because she if she were doing.

A Christy call her up. No, let's have a phone in when you would kill me?

When you when people call you for like jobs and stuff, you mommy on the phone to watch their.

Kids and you pick up.

Are they like wrong number? Of it, Mari, Why did you sound like.

I actually do like have a little I used to have a really bad really yeah, I had to take like I was in speech classes.

You had a speech speech.

Imagine this voice with a list that was out of control. You can hear it like my tongue.

I went to the store.

Yeh.

This week and.

So Christy you come to the portion of the podcast us where we quiz your as, we're.

Gonnaee that I don't want to be I know, well we gotta end it, can we?

So we can turn the A C back?

All right?

I'm excited for this quizz I love.

This is like a really serious I do really well.

Take it seriously?

Do you have notes?

Don't?

Don't fucking cheat?

C all right, I'm not the cheat.

Wait what do I get if I do well?

You just get points points for what that you can use the cash in for tickets to use the tickets to get a prize at Sports Plus?

Now is you ready or ain't you ready?

I is okay? You know nursery rhymes? Yeah? How white was Mary's little lay.

As white as snow?

Bam?

You didn't even blink your eyes.

That's the point, A point that's the whole I thought that was gonna be a trick. I know.

I was like, this is a joke.

I'm walking right now.

And that was a real question.

That's great, that's a great question.

Thank you, thank you.

We did so much research for Yeah, name name two characters from a frozen.

Elsa and Hannah.

Can you name a third? I love that, dude.

The hope was about Frozen?

Good, I've seen it was my favorite.

Oh he's the best in summer. I love a lot.

Is there anything can you sing like like a couple of bars of some songs from I can do you frozen songs? Okay?

Just go ahead, okay, knock knock, knock? Okay, that was that was knock?

Do you want to don't just know me? Come on, let's go and play. I'll never see you anymore, come on the or it's like I've gone away us buddies now or not? I wish he could tell me what.

You tell man?

Okay?

Okay, I said it was I thought it was fine.

I thought it was but keeper, I really hit that note?

You did? You were? You had like Rihanna and there smacked the hell out of that note.

Yeah.

Oh that was so good.

I'm no, here's looking. It's gonna be a it's gonna be a hard one.

What's the most effective way to get a kid to shut the hell up?

According to you guys, you shout a.

Baby child, you're out and they're like, I know you're not smacking.

No, it's hard because it's very circumstantial. But I think you have to assert the dominant.

So you'd be like, I'm counting.

Why it's it's it's.

Process of elimination. You gotta think, why are they crying?

Why?

Why is this happening, Joseph? Are they hungry? Are they tired?

What do they really need?

You have to say their name three times?

The times their first and middle name, Christopher, Robin, Sydney, Elizabeth, Sidney, Elizabeth Britain.

Why Ramona.

Stupid Sidney Britain. It sounds weird. What's your name? Simon? Shut up? Molly Samia, It's wow, that's just that's what my mom calls me.

Or they're they're over there trying to make that regular ass name all Fancy's wrench.

It's French Sydney. Okay, we better than you. I'm like advanced. No, you didn't answer it. What's the most effective way. You said, it depends on the circumstance. But how do you then get them to shut up?

How do I get them to shut up? Are you shaking them ice cream?

Okay, so diabetes is your giving.

Giving them get them to stop?

Give them up? Is it a baby or a kid?

How would you shut up a baby? And how would you shut up a kid?

Yeah, shut up a baby with a bottle or a nap. You don't figure out what they want?

You pull that titty out, pity, you gotta give them the right titty.

They love the right think.

This is a load of ques.

I think a kid, you gotta pull out your left titty.

I'm not gonna pull out my titty any kind of dip. I mean, that's never the answer to a problem.

Girl, answer answer to city, not getting that to the other day.

Okay, name the top three Pixar movies.

Pixars, Pixar Finding Nemo, Toy Story Yes, and.

Inside Out No.

It was kind of cute, but not t oh up.

I liked up. I did look up?

Were those the ones that they win?

Well?

I didn't.

I didn't do the research. I wanted to know your top three where they fell?

I also liked Monsters Ink a lot.

I didn't see that.

I don't know if it's because dream Works In.

My mind I considered them the same.

I think it's DreamWorks Pixar. I think they are.

Isn't it Disney Pixar and DreamWorks something else? Oh?

I honestly probably, I think probably?

What you what you just said?

I liked Up.

I like.

Nemo, but I don't think I liked it as much Deserve, but I don't love story. It just came to mind, how dare you? Toys?

Stair was great?

The greatest Pixar movie of all time? Though, yes, really twist.

There was about a cowboy in Afternoon?

Did you like did you see cruds or Grudes or whatever? The hell?

The no? Those are Kevin Tristan like gross or stupid movies?

Cruise.

I think they were like cavemen.

Okay, well here's the here's the last question. I can't wait.

I'm really nailing it.

You are? I think you're You've got like fifteen points. We only have four questions? Yeah, thank you?

It was that by.

Okay, okay to be the sign out for this podcast?

How old.

Is Marie? Twenty three?

Is twenty seven months how.

Old is twenty seven?

What does it come down to?

Two years and three months? No? Two years and three am I right?

A wait?

How old? Twenty seven?

Twenty seven? Twenty four?

Yeah?

Two years three months?

Hey Sidney, did you want to check them? Oh my god, I'm so proud of you, Cec.

You are.

You are the unofficial expert. You won the child.

You're one.

Guys.

We don't have any money for you.

When you got that, we wait, we gave you.

Fruit and water.

I drank all my cold water.

You good girl, You're a good girl.

Good girl. No, you don't say that to a grown ass woman.

You say that to to a baby, but a grown ass woman like No, I don't want to be big Cee.

Cee, you got anything you want to plug?

You can see white chocolate every Sunday at the Standing Room.

I co host it with pdd Bro, who has done the show The Hope, the.

Hope of the Hood was the Hood Expert.

He is hard karate, hard body correct.

He is official tissue referee with the whistle.

Oh you'll be hanging out. I love him? You do know Pete words words?

I love him?

But yeah, check out those stuff or my Twitter, my website at Christy Cello Christychella dot com. I made my website myself. I'm really proud of that.

We're so proud of you.

Thank you girl so much for having me. This was the most fun.

We have a lot of fun here. But you know, we're experts at just having a good time and wasting a lot of time.

We really are. We've made this something out of nothing.

You're the beast thing. You run one of the best shows in the city.

Yeah, you did it, a couple of the best.

You everybody come check it out at Karma. It's the best.

Everyone wants to get on it. Everyone's asking me how to get on it.

I'm like, you just gotta grow.

We have to talk about.

Yeah, tell us, no, we gotta we gotta sign off.

Wait, can you give us a little sign off?

A little okay? Bye?

Thank you so much.

It's been an Unofficial Expert I'm Sydney, I'm Marie.

Okay, bye bye.

For you the listeners of Unofficial Expert podcast.

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