“The Lying Expert” with Dee Nasty

Forever, Hi friend, Oh my god, it's so excited. This is I'm already I already know this is gonna be a hot one episode.

Go ahead and give it ten stars. Yeah, and send it to you six up your loved ones. Yeah, can't you listen to it?

Just what are y'all doing for your friends? Y'all not letting them know what's really good out there.

So this is.

This is a good Father's Day gift. It's a good Mother's Day gift. It's a good birthday present. This is unofficial experts.

Send it to This is a good summertime motivation, you know what I mean. When you're in the gym, you hearing us talking ship, You're like, oh, I'm about to get older.

Abs, Yeah, ready ten more? Nine more, you got it? But more? Fix your four too high up in the air.

Marie can tell you about that. Because I have no idea. I'll just be there in the mirror like.

Em you know Jim Worthy that Sydneys go to the gym to watch TV and take photos and be.

Like hashtag gym. Yeah, I'm doing it. Have you been to the gym yet for the for the season?

No? Man, I just feel so scrwnny like, I like stand next to like women who got like hips, and shit, I'm like, what am I doing?

The Gym's not gonna make you have hips? Oh yes there is, there's like those.

If I get some squats going together mine but not your hip, my hips will grow too.

I don't know what workout you think it's gonna make your hips grow. It's your butts. Your hips are not a muscle. It's not a muscle.

But whenever I get more stuff in the back, the front like, it goes out too.

Okay, Sidney, just get fat, you get fat, you have hips. I'm so sorry, guys, that's just not possible.

The lie Big the Lies went to Detroit and came back and I was like, why you look so juicy and she was like, I don't know, And we just all assumed that she had gotten ass done in Detroit.

That's where you would think I would get my ass done. I feel like it'd be cheap. You could get a house in Detroit for like ten dollars. Oh, here you go, Detroit slander. True, Okay, do we care?

Is anybody in the studio from the d no, hey, listeners, anybody from Detroit don't shout us out.

We're good, We're all set.

We don't need a well shout out to Detroit, Motor City, Sydney. What were you an expert in this week? Let's get into it, friend.

I'm all about challenging the petty. That's what I'm an expert in this week. You know your girl is getting consistent checks. Now, so I'll be taking an uber X.

You were taking ubers before you was getting pool baby pool X. Now, okay, let's look to it. I look at prices, I'm like, I got that, and then I look at I'm like, what am I doing? Anyway?

I got and I got an uber? Well, no, I didn't get an uber. I you know, summoned an uber to come. And you know, like four minutes in, I get a text message from the driver and he's just like, can you tell me where are you going? And I'm like, m Brooklyn, you always say you got to say no because they when they ask where you're going, they don't want to go wherever You're going.

To respond, I know, you gotta be like nope.

But I wanted to be honest because I wanted to see where this was going. And he was like yeah, I want to know if you on the way because I'm going to Harlem. I'm going home uptown. And I was like, okay, cool, I'm.

Not going there.

You need to come here. And then he's like, oh, well, can you just cancel? And I'm like, I'm not canceling if you need to. If you need to cancel, then you need to cancel. And he's like it's gonna mess up my status. I'm like, I don't care about anything. This is through text message.

Are we friends, sir? What was the name Ishmael with my dah? Yeah? One star?

Well it actually when I canceled too, it foxs up my ratings.

So I get it. I'm already at a four point six and I don't even know why, because I know why. You get in the car.

You be loud, you ask for the ox cord before you even say your name. You be like, h you got an iPhone charger, and they'd be like, uh, Sydney, are you in the right car. I've seen you getting ubers. I know why you at a four point six. Let me see what I'm at. Let me see what I'm I don't even.

Know anyways, So the man doesn't cancel. And I'm like, I'm not canceled.

Point eight one, wow, wow, four point seven one.

That's well retarded anyway. So he doesn't cancel, and I don't cancel. And then I see him on the map going the opposite direction of where I'm at. So this man is going home. He's going home, but he won't cancel. And I was like, I want to see how long you're gonna take this until he cancels. So I'm waiting and waiting, and then the person I was with, I was waving Ali Austin, and she's like, just take a lift and keep it, keep it running. Let's see this

He's like, I'm not claiming the Bronx a hall, right, Maybe he was embarrassed that he was going to the Bronx.

Ify When it told me that he.

Was going to the Bronx, I was like, oh, sir, I will cancel immediately.

Sorry, it's gonna take you three days journey to get it. I got you, bro I.

Got you, so long story short, he leaves it on until the next day and he doesn't cancel until like ten thirty in the morning.

He doesn't cancel the.

Ride, and it helped me because I got a four point seven after he canceled.

So I'm glad that I didn't I'm glad that I did not cancel for him. How dare you, sir? And he had a four point nine stars. I was like, how because he don't never cancel?

No, right, he don't know, I wrote, I wrote Uber, and I was like, I'm appalled, I'm distraught.

I felt stranded. I was stranded.

I felt stranded and I was stranded and they give me five dollars, So fuck Uber.

Uber's response is always five dollars. Yeah, no matter what, you could be like they hit my baby, They five dollars.

The man touched me. Oh that's it.

It's like, I can't get a whole ride for what ride is five dollars?

Uber? Like little short ones AnyWho? That that's what happened to me.

If y'all understand where I'm going to tell me about your ubers, your uber situations at me, let me know.

The crappiest uber experience you've ever had. We'll read them on the podcast, yes next week.

Yeah, what were you an expert in? Friend?

You know I'm fully unemployed. Now I was an expert at being living my best unemployed life.

This week I did karaoke two days in a row. That's that's what happened. That's a cry for help, my friends. It is because since so, I don't like karaoke when people invite me. But then when I'm there.

I'm doing woreo, I'm doing, I'm harmonizing, I'm doing like I'm doing ballads. And mind you, Marie can sing. Just in case y'all don't now see you know, as a friend, I'm gonna give you a four point six faded as a friend.

Well you know what, I'm gonna give your singing one star.

Well that's because you're bitter, uh you mad that you ain't got the range that I got.

Sis, You're right right, you know.

So yesterday me and Andre went and we did uh we we started the whole evening off. Mind you, we were the youngest people in the room. It was all like Old Temptation as.

Like Al Green. Oh yeah, this guy came up to sitt Andy and he was like you are beautiful. They called me Brooklyn Isaac Hayes.

I was like, you know, I thought, he said it's Brooklyn very White, and then very White kept calling him Barry Berry.

I was like, what is his real name?

The Brooklyn Verry White, and he was like he walked away and somebody was like, he's famous, and I was like, is it in this?

I said, you know, famous.

Verry White, and and he sang and people were like two stepping. It was real motown like in there. The bartender looked like Smokey Robinson.

It was interesting. So Andre and I started with Bills Bill's bells.

I don't know if you guys know this, but the outro in the song is just the chorus like nineteen times. And we were like wow, and then I did, uh when you believe? I sang both Whitney and Mariah.

I was there because I'm both parts.

I was there and they wanted to boo her, but they were also like, this is a classic no disrespect.

Know all black people don't care about not being disrespectful. They were feeling me. They left it. They were like, look at these young ass kids with the fresh ass hips. Yeah.

We started singing a freak me baby, and everybody was like, are they having a stroke.

We were like, let me like you up and down.

Julia say su yeah that's me and Sydney Wow that was so good.

Yes, both sharp, both flat whatever.

Anyway, speaking of energy, super excited to get this episode really on ping. Our guest today is our work. She's a comedian, she's an influencer. She out here doing videos.

She she got height. She probably the tallest woman that I know.

Probably she's also from the Bronx, so she probably know what a dude that that didn't can.

I got two cousins and driver. She is our lying expert. It is d mother, F and Nest. What's going on, guys? Nasty's in the building.

D D and I met at Vice because that's where I was working, and I used to call her the gross.

We're not gonna play give me that sponge glass, baby. I thought he was friends. You know how me do that?

You know, we get a little shady and then that's how you know. I really like you exactly. Feelings a little amigas.

The friends of the music my own own own it. But with wait, do you guys have like a Latin friends?

Is there a show Na that's like Latin that we don't know that all Spanish shows are novels?

Are there companies?

They do have comedies, and I feel like there has to be a Latin friends I you know what's crazy though, Like I don't watch that much Latin TV.

Like I just discovered Latin YouTube and I'm upseested, but like I am, yeah, Latin Instagram is the thing. Also, yeah, like and I'm I'm Dominican, but you know, I was born and raised in the Bronx.

So I don't know, Nancy, is that how you start off? You're like, so I'm Dominican and I'm from the Bronx. Like is that you're like you intro it real quick. That's always what it is because people need to know, like this is where I'm from. I'm proud, yeah, very yeah. But no one that has ever come out of the Bronx. I feel like has been a shame to say that there's Bronx. When people say it, I'd be like, I want to share that, but they like the actual I think.

That's what it is.

I think we get shipp on so much that it's just like, well look at me killing the game and I'm from the Bronx so and plus it's like it really is a part of me, Like I don't really know how to explain it.

But being from it all up and through your voice. Dude, it's in my voice. Isn't the way that I walk and ship? It's the way you are on your line your eyes. But I don't have white ups, which are just are they called ups? Now?

The uptowns for the listeners, uptowns are like Harlem and Bronx staple. You are not from the hood unless you have a pair of ups and there's a low there's.

Yes. How tall are you? I don't yo, I think I grew recently, but I think I'm five eleven, No, that's hot. I think how tall are you?

Right?

Six two? You taller than me? Andrew?

Okay, yeah, I might be six though, Like I feel like I got that giant gland that you know, us able to stop growing when you're like twenty one thyroid. Yeah, I think we're gonna be on TLC very soon.

Like you do want to have a big.

Because I was in a friend's house the other day and she lives like in a basement, So sorry.

For you, understand, I had to I have to crawling like Alice in Wonderland.

No, not buddy Dominican Alison.

So, yeah, budy Quay is just Puerto Ricans ya basically Okay, so Dominicans can't beat that.

No, Okay, my family's from Haitian Andrews White, he didn't know.

No, I don't even think that like Puerto Ricans from Puerto Rico called themselves. Body, that's a very New York thing.

Body. I don't know, I don't, I have no clue. But that's just what we call them. We don't know what it means. When you say we are, you're saying Dominicans.

I think anybody who knows about qua Okay, people who have flags hanging from their car exactly.

Yeah, that little baby shoe with the flag all in the back window. Yes, yes, and yeah, that's what that is. I'm here for all of that. Okay.

So you're a lying expert, but you seem like somebody who keeps it pretty real.

Like no, I think I think that's why. Like I can definitely tell when people lying to me, and a group of a.

Mother who like, for the first couple years of my life, she was Alveray strict. So I had to do things.

I had to like kind of get around it by lying. So I consider myself a very good life. So when people lying to me, i'd be like you lying.

Yeah, I had a.

Strict mom to when we would lie to her. Also, yeah, like that's the only way you guys should done is my lying. That's how we got outside exactly.

Yeah, So without lying, I wouldn't be who I am. I would be like a little like shell shocked person.

Nerds.

Yeah, I mean I have a nerd. I'm definitely a nerd, but I'm a hood nerd, so it's different.

It's different what I mean, what's a hood nerd? You know how to make a chop cheese and say, like, what's the math? A hood nerd? You know, I'll be reading comic books from time to time.

But I also don't know like every big pun song, big papa, like you know everything.

I can also fight, like, yeah, you can write, oh think you said? And right? That makes you ner You can fight and write. That's a good nerd. Wait and right, fight and right, you're right fighting. Right, we're about to make the bars. Yeah, we're not doing a podcast nomore, We're doing an album. Yes, that's it's wrong, right, fighting, right, get on my level, Get.

On my level.

See, I was so bad at lying.

That's why I'm always trying to tell the truth, because I would always get caught. Yeah, so I learned early that, oh, you're just bad at this and you should just probably tell the truth. Yeah, growing up, I needed I needed to be honest because every time I lie, literally the next day it's like, okay, so your ship is not adding up.

This is wrong. You should have stuck with it. You know, the more you lie, the better at it. You be better. Queen of lies over here, Yeah, queen of lies. I just feel like lying as exhausting.

I also do feel like it's like a childish thing, like I got away with it as a kid, but now that I'm an adult, I don't give up.

I don't care enough to lie anymore.

Right, So I feel like that's when when I meet people, like you know, when people lying when their life is too elaborate, Like, but there's always a bitch of a story, a very tall tale, and I'm just as tall, so I can see the lies. So I just like like, I can't even think about it. But somebody will walk in and they be like yo, I just hitched the ride on the raff over here.

Like didn't. Those are the nineties that come like what do you what is your life?

Do you remember a time that you lied and forgot what you would say? Like, because like it's easy to add to a story and then it's hard to remember what.

You get caught and what. I don't remember a specific time that I might have gotten.

Caught in a lot, I'll tell you about the time that I got let's hear it. So when I was little, I used to steal. I I used to steal from the school store. I used to steal from like the Holliday boutique.

I used to steal people's lunch, but snacks out of their lunch boxes. I would steal.

And it was just that I didn't need, Like my mother gave me a every day to go to school, but it was always something real healthy, like an apple or a tangerine or something stupid like that.

And all the other kids were eating like chips and the cracker with the watery cheese and the little red stick, you know what I mean like that, and my mother never rectangle ship. Yeah, I don't remember, I want to say, but that's like No, it's like ritz Cracker. It's like it was like a Nibisco situation. So those right. I mean, the cheese was not cheese. It was just orange water. It was blue. It was blue, and it was Velvita that like liquid cheese that you oh, yeah, that's a mac and cheese.

Though there's a brand of a Vita called Mac and Cheese. But that little thing I think was crafts because the little you talking about the rectangle.

With you peel the back off and there's like a rectangle crack, like a stack a little cheese and that stick it.

Was like a hood cheese plate. Oh my god. That was her.

Yeah, And my mom gave me like fifty cents to get something from the school store, and I came out with a bag, a giant bag full of stuff like I stole like all those erasers that were shaped like soccer balls or whatever, and like all this crap that I didn't need, like Lisa frank folders, all of this stuff.

And my brother is a year older than me. My mother gave him the same fifty cents. We were on the bus.

He was like all I got was this pen, And I was like, oh, they must have been having a sale when I went and I came home and my parents are like, the hook is this? Like they were like, okay, the school fifty cents goes far right because my parents third world country realness. Like they were like, okay, well, well you stretched that money. And then it was like, well what did you get to my brother and he showed them and they were like, oh.

A little real cream pie. Yeah. They were like, you're lying, and I was like, no, I didn't. I found it. I kept I was like, I paid for it, and then I was like I found it.

And then I was like they gave it to me, and like all within the span at like a couple of minutes, they beat my ass.

Oh damn.

Yeah.

I mean I used to steal as well. I guess I'm a good liar and see it because I used to. I used to steal like I was a queen of thief and like me and my cousins were broke, and I remember we would walk to park Chester, which is kind of like this part of the Bronx where has like Macy's and a few bunch of other stores.

Six on the six train. I used to be on the sixth. Jlo used to go to park Chester. I'm sure was such a.

Park Chester check and you see it because park Chester was like loky, kind of fancy a little bit, yeah, because they had a may I remember one day me and my cousins were sitting down in my aunt house and we were like, yo, I'm tired of being broke. And I'm tall and I've always.

Been tall, and I was like, I'm tired of people making fun of my high waters, like everyone could see my ankles at all time, and now they're in and listen. They they've never been out.

So I remember my aunt, you know, she had a lot of bags, a lot of big bags, and we were.

Just like, yo, let's go shopping. So we each had a big ass back. I don't know how we didn't go to jail this day.

And we went to Macy's and we went to Fast Up and Iron and Rainbow and all this other shit, and we were just like it was crazy, like one of those videos that you see on Instagram.

He's just ran tacking shit in a bag like supermarket sweet. Yeah, Like I got shoes that thing, Like I got shoes, Like who steals shoes? Like I actually washed?

You never walked into a pair of shoes, like tried on another and then left with the new one and left the nasty, raggedy ones.

I've never done that. I've seen that, like in the box, like you like real is off white, that's so smart thirty shoes.

Yeah, but back in the day, you could steal so much easier. Like I had friends that would go to Bloomingdale's and they would still raff luring, like cashmere sweaters, and I would go with them, and they would go in the dressing room and they didn't have the same set the same type of sensors, and like they were all we're all in uh ninth grade, so it was just like it was nothing to them, And I would go with them, and I wouldn't steal because I'm just like I'm too.

I know how Ramona gets.

Down, Like she knows everything I have, any item, she can tell something, she can smell something new in the place.

Yeah, that's the mother's skill too, though, Like my mother knew all of my clothes in high school.

Ramona's your mom. Yeah, she was a friend.

That that's the listeners. The listeners know about Ramona. But yeah, I talked to call her about her first name very Bag with me, but whatever.

Sidney called my mom by her first name once one time I didn't know. She was on the freaking.

Phone side speakerphone and I was with my mom and Sidney was like, she said, my mom's full government.

My mother was like, who is that? I was like, I gotta go. She did, she got in trouble. My mom said we can't be friends no more. That's pretty much that is exactly what happened.

Yeah, I feel like just as a kid, it was easy to steal. I think it was really easy, and touching out the tags was the thing to do that, right, It's just we're not paying full retail so much to make which you are the devil for even putting that type of price on this shirt. As let's get into corporate greeds. Yeah, y'all are actually the problem sweatshop.

But it does, it does.

It was sticking it to the man. I stole a d K n Y tube top from Macy's once fancy. I didn't even know what the hell where I thought I was going young. It's a hairtie, right, it's a headband. I had a friend that worked at Arrow Postil remember when that was cute, and he he came in and he was like, they don't have no sensors on any of the clothes.

And he was like, and there's no security and the cameras ain't got no wonder dominic cameras. Right, he was like a cameras ain't got no Uh, they're fake.

So we would jump in the car and split up into teams and just spend probably like a cool half hour just panties, shirts, sweaters, jeans, shoes.

I don't even know they take it to the fitting room and put it all under your clothes. That's another one. I never did that, your hoodlums. That's so sad. I'm just you just walk out real thick. Yeah, just like, yeah, I'm just going. But I never got caught stealing. I only got caught, you know, from my parents.

Well, I mean this is the this is my biggest stealing thing, and then I'll move the Okay, how did you set it off so well? I used to work in Victoria's Secret at the mall, at the Urban Mall in Massachusetts.

And Urban Yeah, I was gonna say that it was Auburn.

It was Auburn Mall. It was in Woolster, mass It don't matter. But anyway, I worked there and I urban people.

It was the black people. It was where Jimmy jazz and v im and stuff was sports, a finish line and a foot lock.

No, it had every It was everything that you needed in Wooster. It was a mall. It was just a regular mall.

But I worked there and I used to take the sensors off the bras and just layer my freaking bra up with other bras. And I was steal bras for friends and for myself. Wait, this is while you work fair Yes, inside job, inside job.

You need man sometimes. And you used to see LEVI I was pussy. I didn't steal the jeans, but I would steal all the leather belts. I would put them here undre. Yeah, oh I have a nice collection.

You are doing belts. You were doing waste trainers before everybody tass belts. I mean you just you see that you're not getting paid enough. You see like all the ship that you put into the place. You're like, I'm gonna get mine like this here. I think it's the less it's that. But also they built into their budget people stealing.

Yes, it's called LP loss prevention.

They know that they're not going to sell everything. They know people are going to steal, so they like, that's part of the budget.

So it's like, if you know people gonna steal, then I'm doing what y'all want me to do for the people. Facts. I don't feel anymore now I'm too old. I feel like I can't go to jail for stealing. I mean considering.

I see you know people who go to jail and just get right out. I feel like I'm not one of those people.

So, yeah, I feel like I don't want to risk it, you know, flash back to a couple of months ago.

I didn't.

Yeah, I was akon Acon and young geez, I got a sick.

Sick It's just a sick weapon. It was a baton. It was a police baton.

Yeah, but I feel like that that was funny. But to get caught stealing, that's embarrassing. It is, and nobody's gonna help me get out, nobody because they're just.

Like, bitch, why you got caught stealing? You're so dumb, you know, like you you've been stealing all your life. Now all of a sudden you're getting caught, Like, come on, work better.

Yeah, the older you got, the like, I am more afraid now, but I sta seeming like the classes like whatever, I'm not paying ten dollars for the class.

I heard far un the spot. If you want to steal, that's what I heard.

I saw somebody get caught stealing at I was there and I was like, oh, oh, what happened. It was a couple of years ago. It was the Sephora in like Harold Square near the Macy's. Shout out, that's too.

That's too big. It's too big. I feel like so far it's too easy. So I'm afraid, Like I'm like, this is too easy. They're watching. There's always this people their cameras work. I heard their cameras are good, like they mean like like some CSI like they got the Vegas casino cameras. Yes, I think that's what I heard.

I heard the you know, the little travel size stuff that they get by the register, like to scam you to get more stuff. That's where people be getting caught because it's like, oh, there's so much little stuff here. Oh you know, I'll just like this like that and then nobody gonna see it. And they're like, no, this is actually to catch people who are thieves.

If you're stealing from the register.

You gotta have big balls from there, and then you gotta walk all the way out the store.

That's true, a long walk of anxiety, right yea.

Also good for samples, you don't ever have to spend any money as a forger. Have a sample of this, this, this, and these eight other things.

Mm hmm. Yeah.

But sometimes your hands is hot and you're like, I don't want a fucking sample, I want the whole damn thing, and then all of a sudden, the eyeliner is in your pocket and you're like, my, then.

You deserve to be in jail with with that cricket with a cricket cat eye. That's when I grab her. Have you ever dated a dude that that you caught lying to you?

Of course, of course, yes, of course, like my ex one that I well, this one was like an innocent eye a little bit. But basically my ex the first couple like months that we were dating, he was lying to me. And he's very, very very honest. He's a very good person. So like this, he was doing signing, he was acting shady, wasn't picking up the phone.

Is he lying about? I'm like, what are you lying about? Right?

So he I forgot what the story was. This was a long time ago ago, but like he just was acting weird. He wasn't looking when he finally came to the house, he was gonna look me in my eyes. He smelled different.

I'm like different. He just had like a smell that wasn't me. And I'm like, where were you? Like, what were you doing? Was in bathroom body work splash. It was more like like Florida water, and I used Florida water to like sleep the mom and stuff. And he's not like Florida water, incense and stuff. I'm like, what hippie ass bitch house were you in? You know?

So, like I was trying to figure it out. And then long story short, like I don't funk with like like voodoo and ship. I was raided Jehovah's witness, so like stealing horrible anyway, but I don't funk with the devil. I don't fun with that, like like your specs and ship. I don't go to no psychics, like I don't.

I don't do that. No, no, no, no, I'm not that latina. No, I don't do that.

So he has a cousin who's like very heavy into so he went to these like say like a weird say on ship and he had mentioned it before and he was like, I was like, don't go there and come to my house bringing that ship to my house, Like I don't want your energy with some weird devil bitch on you coming into my house. Like I'm not a out that. So he hid that from me, but I could tell that he was lying. But I've also had dudes like me like like he's a great guy.

And he's just used to lie all the time about what just anything where he was he was with numbers and his phone numbers.

Oh my god, I had like I remember I looked through this guy's laptop, you know how like that iMac.

See, I don't, I don't. I'm not here for that. I'm not here. You've never you've never searched. Yeah, but when you search, you're gonna find what you want. I don't always search, but I've never found anything. Well this one time I found at all.

So I found like at least four bitches and I'm like, damn, but like what the conversation conversations titties, but also a bit that I put him on, like for work.

I saw him pursuing the whole. I was like, Oh, you're pursuing the bitch that I put you onto for work for work. He was like, it's not working.

He works with clothes and the chick is a model and she was like a big like she went viral for some ship because she's like very well spoken, very cute.

I'm not gonna go to her and Twitter, but you're gonna show us after after.

So this bitch he like apparently she reached out to him to collapse, and he was like, I don't really know, Like she ain't that cute. I'm like, na, Na, she's cute. Her personality is cute, Like she's like one of them. Like I was like, she's like one of them ugly cutes, Like.

She's really finish. She's cute, she's cute, she's cute, she's she's still friends, okay, but whatever.

So he I told him about her, and then he was like really pursuing her and like really really going hard for her.

And I have a sneaking suspicion that that's like his check now. So but I saw the conversations.

But he was like like anyway, the lie was like I saw that girl him talking to that girl and three other women, and he's like.

These are my friends. This is how I talk to them. It's just like like you're a comedian and I'm like you were like, I don't none of this is funny to make this ain't this ain't a joke, Like it's not a joke.

Also, like you know, they're not looking at you in there your eyes, they're being super defensive, like why are you even looking through my ship? If you think I'm hiding something? If I'm if you think I'm hiding something, what are you hiding?

That's like spoken like a true liar. And then listen, this is my This is my rule of thumb for a liar. Right when you confront a liar and the first thing they say is wow, the more.

The more w is in that while the more time he's coming up of a liar like you trying to figure it out.

So wow, I was act first of all, if you hear first, First of all, I was at my mother's house. You went through my computer anything you first of all.

That's my work laptop. So like everybody in the office.

You just that laptop to send nudes that ain't even not my titties. This is professional titties. I mean, but I'm asking real questions. Why are you going through my ship?

Like what the fuck? Because you're acting suspicious.

I think I would that you just asked me instead of ask instead of go through my ship.

Now, because this guy, like, you know, I think he was a good liar, like in the sense of like he would. He wasn't messy, and he wasn't out there, but I just knew it deep in my heart. Oh, this is something kind of slimy and skeeevy about.

Couldn't you just have dumped dick?

But a real answer right there, The dick was good. His soul was slimy, But the dick was good. Slimy, slimy, good.

Dick, slimy dick.

I mean sometimes slimmy dude's got the best dick. Well, unfortunately that's not a thing anymore. I mean, fortunately, fortunately that's not a thing anymore.

But wait, what's the what's the biggest lie you've told in a relationship. Well, we're gonna have to talk about that when we get off there. Oh wait, you can't talk about it. Come and I'll tell you the number one lie I ever told you. I'll tell a lie. I was like, this is your I'm pregnant by you. That was a big lie. Yeah, what happened.

It was honestly, I didn't even know, but I was like, but were you pregnant? I was definitely pregnant. I just didn't know who you are, not the father. I couldn't couldn't place it, couldn't tell. I mean, I had an idea, but you know I needed to get these uh these coins.

Yeah, I respect that's a woman who lies in I think my biggest lie actually was telling someone that I never had had a three so before when I have had Why are you lying about that?

Now? That's childish because the timeline because you were with them when you had that threesome. Yeah, but you didn't have to say when. But it's not cheating. If it's two people at the same time, it cancels out. They don't count right balances out. If you saw for X, you know, you got to what you do the bottom and it canceled, so you cheated. That's what happened. I should cheat. I wouldn't have cheated. I don't think that me and him was artificial. So then why did you lie?

Uh yeah, okay, well let's talk about this three so oh yeah, because that's what Maurice trying to do this summer. So she remember we were talking about this at work and you said that you said to me somebody might have asked you for a threesome and you didn't realize they were asking or something like that, because I told you this woman slid into my d MS and said her and her boyfriend really liked the show and you were like.

Oh, that she wants to have three Oh yeah, you were the unicorn. Those people live in San Francisco and they were like, yes, they were. We want to fly you out on vacation with us.

Yeah, you were the unicorn and you were the definitely the unicorn. I mean, yeah, why not. It's fun.

I think it's also better like that sometimes, Like I know that the rule of thumb with three somes is if you're gonna have a threesome.

Like the people that I had a threesome with, none of us were with each other. That was like we were drunk. He was in a pool, like in a pool okay, well do you could you tall?

So you was in the deep end, just like moving around like nobody's coming no way except me.

Was that a local pool or were you out of seat? It was like out of state a local pool. A pool I would have came out with y and we're asking a real question. No equinox I feel like there's an equinox pool? Are there equinoxes? It was an Airbnb pool.

And okay, so you were on you were in Westchester on the cusp of like the Bronx, like that was like New York.

City, you know, but it was cool, I think.

But like the rule of thumb for three sous I would say is that you should not know each other. I think that it should always be the if it's a relationship, like if it's a girl and a guy that are together and somebody wants to to be something, the girl has to initiate it. I think if the guy initiates it, it's kind of like sketch because just wanted to fuck this bitch. So I think the girl, the girlfriend should initiate it and be like this person I met, and it shouldn't be someone that either of

Don't know you, they don't know me. So I don't trust nobody.

I don't trust nobody because we had a friend who the guy wanted a threesome and the girlfriend was acting like she wanted it, but at the end of the day, she didn't.

She only wanted to do it to please to please him.

And I don't want to be in a situation like that because it's too much drama, too much bagage.

Just like it needs to be free, it needs to be air, Like yeah, you guys, con you guys gonna be having sex. You're gonna bite you all real And she's like, yes, you gotta go home. Sorry, Well, somebody get me an uber.

And then it'll be like fifty shades of gray stunts like wait, why are you tying me up?

Okay, now you're putting something in my mouth? Is that a sock?

Now you tied up in a basement somewhere. No, you don't even get your nut off, Like, yeah.

That's the worst part of it all, Like tie me up, but at least let me get it. No, I'm just like, I don't know.

I just feel like there's so many alterror motives with threesomes. There's not like organic ones, organic three.

I wouldn't say that.

The one that I had, I was very very young, and it was organic because we had nothing to do with each other, like he we had all met there, so.

That was the hostel. It was a vacation, like we knew each other that we I mean, it was a thing. I can't love it, but it was, you know.

So then the dude that you were dating at the time asked you about if you had ever had a threesome and you said no because it was crossover. Yeah, basically, I mean, you got a lot of these men sometimes because men are the most sensitive people in the world.

They're sensitive and they be lying the most. So I'm going to live my life. That being said, I hate liars. Oh, I hate when people lie. It's crazy because because you're but.

I'm honest now in twenty nineteen, I'm honest. I'm not out here lying to people.

You have to lie about Yeah, lying as I lied as a child. I lie, I stole and lied as a kid. I'm not lying anymore.

I mean I'll lie to my mom about stuff now, Like my mother will ask me how much something cost, and I'll lie about how much I spent. That's a little white line, right, because I know she's going to be like, you spent too much and she's gonna complain. But those are the types of lies that I tell Now, I'm not Yeah, I'm not lying about where I am or who I'm weird or what were doing.

Yeah, like that whole things and thing I was like nineteen, I can't do that shit now as an adult. That's exhausting.

I don't have the time and I forget a lot, so like I wouldn't be able to keep up with my lives.

Yeah, and when where the origin of like white lies come from? White people be lying?

But I'm like, white lives isn't harmful, Yeah, but most harmful lies, so do white collar crimes.

Exactly the amment.

Okay, Bernie hold all your money, okayetrating, Yeah, Christopher Columbus like, okay, you see what his lie did to the Native Americans.

That's what kind of white lives, y'all want I've never met a Native America exactly, they don't. That's how strong the lie was. Okay, that's a white lie. That's the white How do we get that out? We need to We need to cancel white lies. There's no such thing. Yeah, we gotta make them. What's what's an inclusive term for white lives? Use the multicultural lies that we can fluid lies, fluid lies, fluid lies.

But do I feel like I want to know more about you as a person, like so your mother you were raised Jehovah's witness, Yes, like prince like.

Price, that's bizarre. Like Williams. Serena Williams is Jehovah's witness. She was Venus And I don't think anymore.

No, maybe though, because that wedding of hers was odd. Did you see the pictures of Serena William's wedding?

Look like fucking Kingdom home anyway? But yeah, I ask away, what do you want?

You?

Siblings and stuff? I do. I'm the youngest of three and yeah, uh, I have siblings, a brother and a sister, and they do. I love them. I'm very close to my family. Yeah, you're my family.

Oriented I'll be watching your interests. I'm like, yo, you got just out there, but chatta and it up you crop up?

Yeah, wearing crap you're not wearing is not like your family. Like your family first of all, is so cute. We live so fun.

And every time I know, as soon as I could see the walls, I'm like, oh, she in her family's house. Yeah, there's just certain type of walls that like families have.

Like covered an oldest photo. This is old school. I know where she is. She's at home.

Yeah, you a plastic Yeah, you have them little like things that people from Caribbeans like to put on.

Their walls, and they just like attack being weird.

Like and you'll be dancing and drinking and have a good good time. I'm like, ah, this is like family.

I love it.

Yeah, I love my family. We get we go from zero to one hundred real quick. So, like, I'm very very social.

I like people.

I'm very conversational. But I got like three friends and then my family, Like I don't really talk with a.

Lot of people. Like you what you say three? Yeah say it again? Three?

No threesomes? Like three friends. I'm the baby of three. My name is three Street. From me three down, literally nasty.

Three.

But yeah, I love my family the dope. We're a lot of fun. My mom is actually the one who's the most conservative because she, like we were. I had a very confusing childhood. So Jehovah's witness.

Because still jehovah witness.

The only one that Jehovah's witness is my mom, right, So so what what's the what's the Like they can't like eat after a certain time, but they can't drink.

You can't come outside. They drink.

They drink like win of shit, but like you're not supposed to be like drunk or whatever. But they don't celebrate holidays because they feel like every holiday stems from a pagan Like the people think that Jovah's witnesses don't believe in Jesus. We definitely believe in Jesus, but we don't believe in like the cross, because they don't. I'm

I got Sowarsky crystals with it, maybe like my eyelighter, raise your sharp yeah, yeah, yeah.

But so they don't believe in idle tree, they don't believe in saints, they don't believe in in holidays, which was very boring and sad as a child.

If you're not, you're very frugal. You knowckets three kids. We do not do with no, I'm about to be jobs when it's just not patient? What about birthdays?

Birthdays neither, because it's basically like you are idolizing this person just for being born when people were born every day and the only person who used to be idolizing is God.

It's just confusing. It is confused. I'm thrown off. Yeah. And the thing about it too, was like basically my mom was in and out. So one year I had a birthday, the next not, I'm like, what's going on? And then you know it depended you know what her her pay cycle was. How she exactly exact. That's what I really think it was.

And I remember one particular Halloween that was super sad, because if I'm not going to be able to go and trick or treat or whatever, then don't let me do it. But I guess she felt bad and she thought she was doing well, so she brought me like a like a belly dancer, like a princess jasmine type of costume. I want to see, but then I gonna go outside. So I was like looking up the window at the children.

Playing with my costume, and I'm just like, this is so And you didn't have like Instagram or anything like that, so you can even take pictures and post up and be like at me.

For Halloween, you can.

I was just running around lipping around for your candy in the house at least, not like that.

Witness don't believe in that. We don't believe sugar. They don't believe sugar. That's tough. It was tough.

Yeah, So like my my brother, like I was actually kind of mad at my mom, like we're good of her Mother's Day and I was about to not do nothing for her, and me and my sister were both like on the same side. And so we called my brother and we were like, listen, we're not talking to mask, so you better do something for her mother's day. So he was like what he was like that lady don't believe holidays, right, I don't believe holidays either, So like.

Whatever, we caved and we like cooked it up for her.

But so so does she like that though, because she appreciated alone. Yes, because moms love that stuff. Yeah, and they'd be like, don't buy me.

I don't need I don't need nothing. And then if you don't, they'd be like.

Yeah, she tried to find loop poles when I was younger for my birthday. That's something I would say, like the week before my birthday of the week after, she would give me something, but she wouldn't wrap it up.

She just give it me, just be in the bag.

Yeah, and I'm like, okay, thanks, but like I know it was for my birthday, but she wouldn't give it to me on my birthday.

Ship maybe my mother was she was like some steps that she would pulled. Dude, Like she's like she got the price tag on it. I'm like what, so I'm supposed to know how much this costs that's very so.

You know it didn't just fall out the sky exactly, like Sata didn't give you this exactly. Clause Ramona clause, Romona clause.

There it is that Ramona claus. That sounds like that should be a clause. That's what the same sounds like a drag queen.

Romona clause is kind of like a like a mob wife. Yeah, she wear a head to toe leopard and none of the leopards exactly. She got tiger leopard. Yeah. Character, it's Cheata Romona clause. We gonna write the pilot. I love it.

You're very honest on social media, like you're always your stories, you pour your heart out, you got you got skits.

I mean, how how important is it to be honest on there?

I think it's very honest, and I think that goes back to our unofficial expert thing. Like my childhood, I was lying in shit. So like now I'm very honest because I have anxiety. I can't come up with the lies and like this is just my life. Like I think I'm a little too honest on the ground. Sometimes I'm like I need to.

Step away, do not need to know this? But the other day I was like about to be like, I think I got too tampons it and I'm.

Like, nobody, wait, did you have two taps? I was fling up there to see, but I didn't.

I just have forgotten. Like I was like sleepy.

I woke up in the middle of the I took it out and put a pad or whatever and then t M I TMI but whatever.

So the next day I was just like I thought she was gonna get tss. Yeah. I was a Hello, I am a survivor of it, and I'm a survivor. She's a survivor. City almost lost both legs. You tell me about that. What happened?

I mean, I mean it was graduation and I was hanging out with my friend Anna and Deisi and we dayed out the whole night after graduation and it all stayed out, and then I hooked up with this guy Kodell Cadell Cadell wow r I.

P he died over a dice game, over a dice about the blackest death call them.

No La, Yeah, I'm Jim Jones in it. But anyway, uh so I hung out one whole night. Didn't change my tampon.

Because you didn't, because you weren't thinking. I wasn't thinking about it. I was lit. You know, we had ninety nine apples.

My god, remember that Alizay the Pashians.

We we was out on a stoop just doing it up hawkby girl.

It was so they had nutcrackers everything. It was like graduation. It was summertime.

It was lit, so I didn't didn't worry about my tampon all night, all day.

So this is the same tampon that was in graduate. You got your.

Diploma with that tampona. And it was like, I feel like graduation be at like noon all day. It's day only in the day because the sun is at its highest, hottest hot. Yeah, purpose and you're like, oh good, all day all night next day.

I'm not lying. I'm telling you I went to the emergency room. I was not lying. How did you know that something was finally finally at like two pm?

For twenty four hours at least, you had this tampona tamp on it And the thing is is that it wasn't heavy. I was like towards the end. So that's when I was like, That's why I was like, oh what you like? This a little spotty daddy.

But it's not crazy soaked.

You know.

Ye, it's a little damp. It's day just day four. It's like it's gotta sprint.

It's like day it was day two, said it was the first day.

Heard it lasts for three days with anyway. So I pull it out.

I'm in the bed and I feel achy. I feel like, well, you had to hooked up with Cadell.

We didn't have sex. I mean, obviously you had the tampon in there for nine days. This bitch had the last semester with that. She took final example of that.

I was like, you can't put it insight. You gotta put it in my ear, my nose, my not you know. I was like, I'm a graduate now.

I gotta lose my ear virginity, my graduation. I can. I can hear you a So I'm in the bed.

I feel swollen. My face is like a chipmunk, and my whole face blew up.

And so my mother was pissed that I was out all night and I came back late and she looks at me and she's like, what's wrong with you?

I was like, what do you mean?

You look crazy? Like you're so your face is so swollen, And then she took my temperature.

I had a fever. I was blowing up like I was like a one oh, like one o one I think sven point five. Yeah, oh my god, old the older Black Cat Driver and you'd be like, can you put the radio on? And that's what it comes on? Yeah, like you hot ninety seven five and they're like no.

I went to the emergency room with my brother and uh, you're going to learn the dangers of toxic Yeah. They took my temperature and they were like, so what happened. I was like, well, I left my tampon them for a long time and they were like, you still got it in and I was like no. They were like, well, let's see. So they looked inside to see if my I was like I told you all, it wasn't in there.

Yeah, but they're like you dumb though, because you left it in too long and now you're saying that you took it out.

They might be they maybe thought you had another one in there.

Yeah.

Well, anyway, they didn't find anything, and my brother was just like, I didn't know what toxic shocked syndrome was and he was like that's disgusting. Yeah, so you know, don't have your brother as your emergency contact because you gotta come no matter what. It could be anything, and you don't want to imagine you don't mean to know. Yeah you got toxic shocked syndrome and the clap.

That's just a lot. I didn't have the clap. I'm just saying that never had name the hookup mikey r I P. Yeah it's Mikes though. Mike's just like a big mic. Yeah, big mic for sure, for sure. So yeah, you know, I feel like you're a survivor. Friend.

I am a survivor, but something like that, I understand being on So just being on this podcast. We've done it for a long time now, and I'm like, damn, man, if somebody reals back, there's too many days where I'm just like, too honest.

I love it. I freaking you love it. I'm like Sydney, tell everybody your business.

I'm into telling my business because I feel like it's relatable and I feel like for so long people be trying to act like on this perfect shit and I'm just not about that, Like this is me.

I'm kind of crazy.

I mean, like I'm trying to actually calm down the morning ones because I've be seeing other people and I'm like, rush your tape before you talk, but I'll be doing it, so I'm like Bogers and.

So that's disgusting. So I'm trying to rail that part of me in. But I just talk.

I talk about what I want to say. I also do stand up, so I feel like if I talk about it, like if I don't put it somewhere, I'm gonna forget and I'm gonna haveing on notes, Like I got so many notes on my phone I don't even look at them notes. So my stories are kind of like little prerequisites to material for my standards work.

That's great, you're from all of the work.

But also like people appreciate honesty and realness, Like they can tell when you're being fake, and they can tell when you're being sincere. And I think that's what makes a good stand up too, is like when you're being true to who you are, the crowd knows, and when you're up there faking and pretending to be something that you're Like if I got on stage and I was like I can't get a man because I'm ugly, people be like, shut your sexyess up, exactly.

I hate one pretty bitches with that, Like I don't talk like that.

I walk in and I'd be like I have better skin th everybody in here, and I ain't got no makeup on the crowd is like.

She's telling the truth. She is right, is hilarious. Dump the skinned girl.

But fuck people because you tell them the truth and they don't want the truth, Like they don't want honesty. Oh you're you're not being PC. It's just like, I'm not a dude. I can't do anything for the people. It's always gotta be about me because that's how I know I feel good. Like if I'm making myself laugh or if I'm being honest and I feel good later, then that's what it is, you know what I mean. You just somebody asked me the other day about something about them, and I.

Was like, whoa. I want to say you not funny, but I'm not gonna say I be dying when you talk.

Yeah, Like I had to sing at work actually and some girl we have to talk about things. We hate it and I hate bad shoes. I don't funk with bad shoes.

Bad shoes. I don't do bad shoes.

You said bad juice. No, I'm not gonna lie, I was like bad three it's three something, the three Jews.

I don't like bad, like bad shoes, Like I feel like there's a lot of good shoes that you can buy.

Them aren't too expensive. Tell us what it's a bad shoe to you? Like I hate a kitten widge. I hate my nerves. I don't funk with a kid wedge. I don't falk with a red patent heel. Oh I don't like that. Well that's rue pump.

Oh.

No, I have my shoes is cue. Those are cute. Yeah, you got a snake skin boot. Yes, yes, yes, yes, listen, I'm three for shoes. I know you shoes so much so. I mean I think a certain type of person can rock a little kitten hill.

I feel like you're saying that like somebody who has kitten here how they stood before.

I don't like a cut. It depends I I the one that I really really really don't like, you know, like what those cork wedges.

Shoes bitches, But those maybe if it's open toe, but you've seen the little round ones.

Yeah, but like the tweet, I don't even know.

Yeah, that's exactly what I'm talking about, Like the hemp thing on the shoes. I don't like those shoes.

I don't like a peep toe boot house is your whole foot covered and it goes up your leg and then your toe is you heeled when the heel is out too, when they have like a little opening crunchy heels.

Also, I hate, I hate the sandals that have like a thing for just your big toe. Yeah, because if you have to.

The like gladiator type sand, No, it's just like it'll be like a loop for the toe and then like the foot, Like I don't know that.

You have to have really good female body. And I have one foot that's really pretty one foot that I got a problem. My feet are like it's like the movie US.

Foot my left she's just trying to be that's all my feet. Both both feet look like that. Yeah they are. They're very dead r I P.

But the problem is that I love those clear shoes. They look like Lexi glasses that look like that your feet are cooking in it. I love those, yeah, except I just don't have cute feet for it. So I hate them because I can't wear them. But I actually like I feel like those.

Shoes like they fog up, like like yeah, It's like there's like evaporation and condensation, and that's why you got to.

Poke a little hole like this, like on the side, like it comes. Oh, you got to like puncture a little bit. It's just like you know, when you're cooking and you put like the looks, you put the holes in it. Yeah, you know you're baking a potato. You gotta do the holes in it with the fork. That's what you do with those shoes. Baby. No, I think that the clear heel shoes were good for one season and then no, I like a clearhel you know why, I'm gonna tell you why.

It's not even that that ugly. I have a bad experience with the clear heels. Talk about died with a clear heel in a future concert.

The first of all, why are you going to a concert in the hill in a heel? Because they were very comfortable.

But okay, right, you're rude, you tall, and you at the I feel like you w in a heel's like six six.

Yeah it was. That's ridiculous and not necessary. Well, I look cute that day, but I went to this future concert and something this was around here.

Actually, why are you going to a future concert because you don't care about your future.

This was a long time ago. This like this was last year, two three years ago. So we come to the Barkley Center. I'm actually like top tier and we go see Future say she was in the best I was just listening to the future.

I was listening to freaking way here. No no, but I was in like the like thirty dollars seats whatever secret she said she was the nose bleed. I was in the nosebleed seent. She was in the rafters with the jersey. I don't know how to speak, so I used my hands to express myself, but yeah the podcast.

When I did, I was like there both her arms were like we were raising her hands long sky short. We was at this concert. And then I actually did have like a little bit of an inkling, like I was with my Fancini, and I was like, you have a bad feeling about this place. Because as we were leaving, this is the end of it, everyone was walking like inch by inch, like it was very slow to get out, and I.

Didn't see like any security. It's mad people.

So I feel really bad here and I grabbed her and I started like maneuvering to try to get out as quickly as possible. All of a sudden, there was a big bang, right, and people thought that there was a shootout. We found out later it wasn't a shootout.

Somebody dropped a chair.

It was like when they were unloading the concert, like a big piece of something fun. And this was I think like maybe two weeks after there was one of these school shootings, so people.

Were on edge. So my man, my man, Yo, this was a stampede of people. Like the people pushed and pushed and pushed and pushed.

Like it was insane. And me and Tania separated, yo, oh my got like that Titanic like, yeah, separated exactly our hands.

She was in the sea of people and I was getting pushed out and then the clear heel was slippery. I fell on the ground and then I started getting stampeded on. Basically trampled. I was getting trampled, yeah, like.

I was crazy epting like they just like a kid was hiding down the trash can the whole time.

And yes she did, she had some ups, she had some sneakers you have, But basically I fell on there those people down there with me.

Are you landing on other people? Yeah? See that's why I don't like giant crowds. I haven't meant to a big concert that since festivals. It's too much. When I got out of that, I saw people with bloody noses. It was the thing. It was on the daily news. It was like, yeah, I wasn't on the but I saw that you were there. It was covered like it was.

People were scared, and me and Tuania had just like, this is my best friend, and I think this was our first fight that we had, and we had like a month without speaking and then we came back and were like, let's bond over a future concert. So when I when I lost her, there was a moment that I was about to be out and I was like, damn, I can't leave Tunian. So I like did the most week is attempt to go back and save her. And I turned around because I was like if I leave,

Don't go to future concert when people absolutely Yeah, many do you think spends money on most of these rap concerts?

It's white people, that's true, but I don't see many. They be in the balcony, That's what it was. It was on the floor. They were in the box.

I attempted to go back and save her, and then like one person kind of pushed me towards.

I got pushed out.

So it was fine. But we were fine by the end of it. It wasn't an actual shooting. It was a misunderstanding, but a lot of people could have gotten hurt because people started.

That's I'm so glad that you were able to be here with us. Thank you. It could have been worse, you know. I blame it on the clear heel. I blame it on being at a future concert in a hill. Yes, I don't know.

Man.

You should have me slipping the slide and you should have had a doc martin a stopping boot.

You actually should have been wearing boxing gloves too. In fact, you should have been prepared.

I should have been prepared. That was on you, booth, but that was my fault. But I'm still gonna blame it on the clear hill so I'm blame it.

On the future heads. You should have on some Gucci flip flops, honestly, but you can't run and slide.

You can't. You can't. And then when that little front.

Piece bends a little bit, you see your life flash before your eyes.

When I tell you almost bust my ass in my house a few weeks ago, I was like, I was let it on my face. That's so tragic and that I can't even I don't even think about it. I met this girl the other day. She said that when she was little, she fell on her face and one of her front teeth died, like her tooth. She had a rotten tooth and it turned like gray or something, and her family was like, well, we don't have money for you to replace that tooth. She's still got that

I met a girl I was like, I don't know this person, and Marie would have definitely not introduced me to her.

There are just too many options out here to be walking around with the tooth, right, think bad? Right, Oh my god, I don't even how does the tooth die? It's still in her mouth. The nerves, the nerves are dead. They just in there like the nerves are nerves unemployees. I had a dead tooth. That's why it had to come out. You take him on. I took it out. Now I'm just out here, you know, a little holy just smiling like she should just get a go to She said you should get cold. I will not. Am

In an ideal world, I would be going on tour soon from a stands up and I would be doing a lot more shows, Like I have a show on Thursday next week in the Bronx, and I have another one on the thirtieth in Brooklyn and the Cobra Club. I'm not sure exactly where that is, but we'll figure it out.

Will something like that?

Yeah, So I would in the near future, I would be doing a lot more comedy and being on stage a lot more because that's what I really enjoyed doing. But in the long run, I want to use that to actually have a show in the future, like a talk show, because I feel like I am good with people.

You can get that. You could get that with out stand up.

Yeah, well, you know, you get a talk show. I got a slat for a talk show there, but I don't know. I want to follow them. Stan I was a correspondent.

She was on the show. She sat on the couch with us regularly.

No, I missed some little extra checks I wasn't getting Yeah, I was getting tight. When I found out way I was going, I was like, oh my god.

I mean, I don't know what everybody else is.

Okay, hennies compared to which I was getting paid penny on Thursday, I had four dollars and six cents of my account.

So you're not saving no money. Yeah, you got your savings. I'm trying. I'm really trying.

I don't have a savings, but I don't touch it, so I have a little bit of Okay, just put your money on hermaids An eyelinder you said rent.

Yeah, I don't have any roommates. But you're in the Bronx. I'm not in the Bronx, Moore. I'm in Washington name, which is Bronx pretty much the Bronx.

Oh no, baby, my should have gentrified because they stay sending me letters about being too loud.

So that's how you know you've made it. No one's complaining about the volume in your apartment.

Facts though, like I don't even have a real sounds to something like I have one of those small little bows.

I wish my neighbors would fucking complain.

Man, they complained about me all the time. They I got a letter talking about that. The person who lives under me is complaining about my first times. I'm not eight hundred poun and I don't walk that hard, So you shouldn't.

You pull up there?

You were?

You wear them clear heels in the house now, No I wear I wear flip flops. I don't even wear like left footed. No, I actually have a nice arch. Since I see you in the bed a lot, so I'm trying to figure out how much i'd be in bed. You're loud. I feel like you you got rugs, some rugs day. That's the thing.

They sent me a little bit and they sat me a letter talking about you know, as per year, which is a fucking lie. But they were like, as per your lease, your apartment should be at least eighty percent carpeted. I was like, what since when Washington Heights, Washington, I live in the I live in the suburban Washington for Washington burn everything down. It's like, yeah, I've gotten two letters talking about I'm too loud. I have to be considering for your least.

Burned that letter, burn the building, and.

Like I also, I did some leave my apartment for a little bit when I started working for Vice because it was a pickup from what I was doing before. So I couldn't afford the ranch, so I sublted to someone and I sublet it to some crazy as lady who apparently like when I went back, my neighbor was like, thank god you're back, because she was like they were like, you know, music hoo could smell baby.

Cran like.

Because she dropped the hookah on the baby. So I think it was like they got so fed up with her that they're mad at me. So any little thing that I do, they want to be on some ship. What she do, what she was out at sex parties?

Like what, I don't even, I don't know, Like that was my friend's baby mama, and I just needed to get out Washington Heights, Washington.

Where little in Republic.

But she said, it's it's getting gentrified. It's very most of my neighbors. Like I literally was walking out of my building yesterday and I saw a big U haul truck and it was like like the whitest of the whites. So like these motherfuckers looked like they came from kpe cod like they had like a fucking Ralph Florene pink, like old school Kanye.

You know what I'm saying.

I'm like, oh, they're moving into my buildings. Yeah, but I would they're losing the neighborhood.

But the neighborhood is going sis. They own it now.

If anybody wrote me about anything, I'll be like, lowcation, do you see where we're at?

Absolutely not.

I'm not listening to anything you say. First of all, I can hear the train. Like, if I can hear a train, I don't give a fuck about noise complaints.

Yeah, so sorry, It's.

Just I don't even like lately I've been lucky enough to have been traveling a lot from she's on the road. I've been back and forth in La a lot, so I'm barely ever there. So what noise I got ghost in that?

Bitch?

I live, I stand and but the thing is is like, you won't be there for long and you'll get me passing through.

Yeah, you're just it's a it's the waiting room. Yeah, that's all it is. And then when you go, you make all the noise you want. I'll be jumping hard. Oh bitch, I'll be knocking everything into the wall.

I lift the bed over twice. Oh so so just throw a bunch of hammers on the ground. It's like, whoops.

I don't know how they complain about me. There's also I don't know if we're going over, but there's also a neighbor of mine.

Who is mentally ill, okay, and he it's tough to be him because this man be yelling all day what the fuck? Like like you hear him?

And to the point that I asked my super like he's Dominican in Spanish or like and local. Oh but I'm not a ballying, so I'm like, is it is domestic violent situation or is he crazy? Like is it like if he fucking somebody up because it sounds like people are being murdered.

In this apartment. And then either know local this is a crazy guy, like Super's like, well he pays mental time.

Problem somebody he ain't paying them as societs. Somebody's paying that ship but he is.

Uh. I remember a few years ago, Uh, there was a story about this family that got in AIRBN being Watchington Heights and they complained about how loud the street was. They complained about Dominican people playing music. They complain about people talking under the windows. And it's like this yet right exactly what It's Washington, this is the neighborhood.

Oh my god, we the majority of Washington Heights are Dominican, and I don't know why we're so loud. Like I am extremely loud, but even I guess like hanging out in Williamsburg with all of the whites, I have probably toned down a little bit. So when I'm with my family now, sometimes I'd be like, yeah, really loud and they'll be like, oh we.

Like yeah, I'm the boogie.

One noah, yeah yeah, So I mean you are bougie. Now I'm turning a little boogie my whole four dollars. I don't know, so I do know that we're a loud culture, but I think that's probably why we stay in the Washington Heights, Like this is where we feel safe.

No one's complaining about our loud family. It's a safe space. Yeah.

So twenty nineteen people talk things is loud. If you can't handle it, get the fuck out of New York City.

Yeah. The whole city is a is a clusterfuck of loud and dirty. Yeah. So it's just like, take your complaints and go somewhere else. And let me tell you. If my rent is over nine hundred dollars, don't you dare say a thing to this a lot?

Because fifteen hundred. I had a friend who has been eighteen hundred dollars rent and they were complaining. I'm like, bitch, you're almost been in two g's for a studio. They better suck a dick, go buy a.

House, Suck a dick. Suck a dick.

Listen.

If you're complaining about how loud it is in my apartment, then you can go to Craton Barrel or whatever and get me a sexy ass rug and that's how.

We're gonna do this. But I'm not that far from here, okay. I mean, you know, it's a couple stops on the train far from here. Okay. She's doing well, he's doing well. See you're doing well too. Thank you.

Thank you for being here and being uh, you know, as d nasty, as degross, as greas. Tell people where they can find you, like, you know, just tell people what you are coming up so they can follow you.

Yeah, follow me on the Gram on Instagram, it's d E E dot nasty on Twitter d so nasty. And I have a movie coming up called Del Mio.

Theme. Yes, El Feme is coming out. Watch out for it. And actually got accept this to the Band Film Festival. Baby Star is born. Starr hasband born and she's out here in these streets.

But definitely look out for that. That is going to be out in the end of June. So I'm super excited about.

That premier stuff that, like, can we come to the yeah, you know, but yeah, bettlemeo.

And you know, if my stories and on my Instagram, I always put out my comedy shows when they're out, So come watch me crack some jokes.

WoT this bitch? Joe great, I'm great, I share my life. Yeah, we got to get her out of Washington Heights, so let's get listen.

Yeah, I mean, we also need to get me out of Bushwick's and we need to get me out of having a roommate.

So you know, let's do it. Come on, let's progress, let's get better, let's make the show. Let's build babies.

And as you know, we do this every Friday, so just you know, follow, subscribe, comment, leave reviews, and come see us every Sunday at the Knitting Factory in Williamsburg.

The show be free.

Yeah, okay, it's sexy, come see us. It's summertime. You know your toe should be out. If you didn't naw your legs, it's fine. Throw some short so on like I did.

Oh my god, we could gel my baby. My leg hair is down today.

There were some people who hit us up on Instagram and the d ms that I wanted to shout out, and.

We had like a couple of people who.

I think one girl her grandmother passed away, and she hit us up and was like, I've been listening to the podcast and you've just been like brightening up my day. I'm having such a hard time and I was like, wow, I can't find you in here, but shout out to you having this hard time with your grandma. Was so sorry that she's gone. But yeah, listen to us and our messiness and it's not that bad, you know, Yeah.

Right, I mean, d almost died at a future concert. It could be worse, It could be worse.

Founder Kelly Kelly Griffin, Kelly Griff, Kelly Griffin, I love you girl, no bitch, im like Kathy Griff, you idiot.

And I love you down. Continue your journey. We're here for you.

And then we had another person, Samantha Legg said that she loves when you roast me, so continue you baby.

Yeah. Like, I've been listening to a lot of I heard the Jack Knight and.

The and he was late, he was late, and he left, and now he's complaining about the palm tree that we made. People put either his palm trees on his ass. I wanted so shady on his page.

Keep going, move on to another photo and more palm trees under his post. Also shout out to Joe Gold Joel Joe. Joe is cool.

He's always messaging us and I see your pictures on here. You're trying to who you want on the team.

You don't never have. No you want Marie or me? Who you want? I see what you're doing. I don't know work Wait, he might be never mind. He looks like he worked on an equinox and he does.

He got body baby chat to Joe Gould, he love you boo.

Yeah, So just keep hitting us up. We love y'all so much.

Don't forget to send us your uber horror stories for uh Sydney, you know, for Sidney's viewing pleasure.

Yes, please, okay, by friend Forever. This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe ccilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Foreverdog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.