"The Hosting Expert" with Peter Smith

Forever, but unofficial experts.

While we're here copyrighted. Don't steal that. Okay.

Hey guys, Hey new people, old people, people who don't know why they're here.

Just in case people don't know who we are, I'm Sydney. I mean you should know us. My name is Marie.

And this is the Official Expert Podcast, a podcast. We've talked to people who think they're experts at things you don't actually need skills.

But they come prepared though they got notes, They got to have people bring resumes and dry erase boards and you know, just you know what they think. The rest of the quarter is going to look like a lot of that. It's great and I love it to shut them down and be like, you know what we came You came here prepared.

But we're going to talk about some.

We just want to talk to some other. We just want to talk a bunch of eyebrows. Like let's talk about the out. Let's talk about the look that you threw on for this today, and.

Your meal plan, what your fridge is looking like. Do you have a meal plan? I feel like you skip all the meal. No. No, I'm actually doing better with my eating.

Okay, So the last three things you ate go Today? You had a yogurt. Okay, that's not a meal, cyst it's a snack. That's a supplement.

That's true.

What you had an inshore, that's what you're trying to tell me. And then before the yogurt, what did you have?

Kennedy's Fright Chick?

Great?

And then before your hood fried chicken? What did you have before?

I had a salad, a tuna salad. Okay, it was in a sandwich. I'm just trying to figure out what you think.

Listen, we're trying to bring positive vibe.

No same no, no new friends, same energy. Don't bring me down. We're on a new network. We're trying to bring ourselves. No, I've been eating more. Okay, you don't see the thickness and his shoulder.

Had a yogurt today for breakfast and lunch. Okay, because I had Kennedy's Fried chicken last night?

You had that before you want to sleep? Oh, you're gonna die in one of your dreams.

Blame Larry Owens. Larry Owens, Yes, okay, thank you for asking me what I had? I made? I know you well. I made a kale sala yesterday for the first time.

Wow, And you know, kale is trash to me because I'm black and Coli Greens is the number one green. And I was like, well, because I've had a kale salad before and it was like hard, But I learned you got to massage the leaves before you eat it.

Did you know you're dating kale?

You gotta like soak it in olive oil and lemon juice to make it soft.

And when the leave's darken, you're it's ready for you to eat it. You're in a relationship with kale. Now you know I don't do relationship. Yes, You're in an open situation with kale. Okay.

And then the day before that, my mother just discovered green juice and she's been telling me I need to make a green smoothie. So I made a green juice and it was so much work, So I guess I'm just doing salads now.

How was the green juice?

It was like I put kale, spinach, cucumber and all this other crap in my tiny like cheap ass blender and all the it's not cheap, it's you're it was free cist. It was like in a gift bag for an event I attended.

It was cheap, but all like the gunk, like all the green stuff like is at the bottom of it. I had to like filter it out. You're an expert in in health. You're doing healthy ship now. No no, no, no, no, no, no no no SCE. I want a list of things that I was an expert for in the last two weeks. I've been an expert at a lot of things. Because we haven't been here for a moment. We have not You've been a moment. We've had to you know, we had to do some changes, and now we're here.

Speaking of doing changes. I see you're not wearing a bra today.

I'm not.

I'm not.

We got a producer here, so you know, I gotta make sure the visual is cute. Okay, well I have on gym clothes.

Uh, your your your your neckline is looking cute.

But my del said, I.

Work it looks very uh basketball loving basketball.

Oh my god, thank you so much. Wow. When she went to prompt thank you so much, did she have a strapless situation.

I don't know what it was, but you just knew her chest was strong. It's like, damn, you definitely play outside of this movie.

Thank you so much, Thank you so much. I feel like I'm doing better.

You know, goodek, I was an expert at like I feel like improving my life all around.

You know, I did have that green smoothie. You had a salad. Today. I ordered a bed in a box. Okay, a bed in a box? Wait?

What you know how you can order a mattress and they put it in a box and they deliver it to your house and you have like unfold it and you.

Can sleep on it. I did that today. I'm moving on to like bigger and better things for the rest of twenty eighteen. I love it. A bed in a mother fing box. That is so I'm overwhelmed. It's supposed to come tomorrow. Yeah, man, So I'm you know, I'm an expert at just like improve and everything.

So wait, you're doing this bed in the box? Are you going to Christen this bed in the box?

It's a I don't know. You can't be getting just stand on a bed. You gotta you gotta least sleep in it for a month.

Since you know, you get it for one hundred days and then if you don't like, you got to bring it back.

I can't stained with Christian jukes.

So you have this uh like probation period with this bed in the box, and if you really love it, then you'll get the comestains.

Got it.

No, it's gonna be sheets on the bed. Okay, you're disgusting sisting. What were you an expert in this week?

Getting my life together? As well?

My taxes will be in order. They will be in order. Good news. Bad news is I need my birth certificate and my Social Security card, which I did not know where either of them are. So went to the Social Security office early yesterday.

That was a lot.

It's where the social Also that sounds like a place where old people die. Uh no, No, there was a lot of multicultural folks there.

No white people were there. No white people was there.

And the security guard was the oldest black woman, Harriet Tubman was the security guard of the journey. It's the Journey truth and it's something about an older black woman just reading people all day like brought joy to me but also gave me anxiety. She said, I'm not gonna read it to you. I'm not The instructions are right there, y'all can't read. I was like espanyol better. She she didn't have a glass.

She was clowning and it stressed me.

They were calling numbers the whole time, and it was like, what's my number?

It's my number, right? And I thought I had the right number. I didn't. And how do you have the wrong number? You know, like the wrong social Security No?

No, no, the number to they're calling numbers to come to the window. So they're like twenty three, twenty four, twenty five. Ay, how did you have the wrong number. I'm dyslexic, so I'm there. I was like, I thought it was I saw it twenty three, but it was really a twenty eight. So they were calling twenty eight like so many time.

And she's like, what.

Idiot is in here that can't And I was like, you're like, must feed me. And so I did that and that was cool. Where's the Social Security office? I feel like this is stann Island.

No, it's downtown Brooklyn.

Downtown Brooklyn's that's cool and so and then I have to go get my birth certificate.

On Friday. So your mom doesn't have this stuff, you know. I don't talk to Ramona like that.

I did have it, but remember I don't live at that place anymore. And they took my stuff to a storage in Queen's not happening, So I'm just replacing things. They took your stuff to a storage unit in Queen. Yes, oh sis, that's kidnapping. And the TV that you were supposed to give me. Yes, no, that's not in there, so that's not somebody no, no, no else, I got it. So yes, I'm doing that. And then I've been riding

The energy to do it.

I've been struggling on this bike for days, and people have been drunk and drunk and high at the same time.

Time. Oh memo, wow, yeah, okay.

So now I'm on the bike sober as hell and it sucks and people are while I'm riding, They're.

Like, are you okay? And I'm like, I'm fine, and then I look at myself and I'm like, i am not okay.

Well, before we introduce our guests, tell us what is the sober bike uniform?

What are you wearing on this bike? I'm looking cute. I got like some color, coordination, type situation.

No, if I have a blue shirt on, I got my blue sun sunglasses, I got a little shorts, I got sneakers that matches.

Are you wearing a bra?

No?

Okay, that's what the listeners wanted to hear.

Not nips are out and you would be surprised. How many dudes think I'm selling ass on a bike?

Yeah, it's crazy.

It's why would I sell dank pussy on a bike? Because it's very dank in summertime. It's dank and stank, dank and stank, some people like it. The speaking of dank and stank our guest is not that of.

Dank and stank. Our guest is that I'm super excited our nou yur oal guest. Yes, I know.

Bank may Main is an all around jack of all trades, right you you're incredible performer? Yes, comedians, fashion icon, fashion icon. Yes, give it up for our hosting expert Peter Smith.

Hi, Peter, Peter, I'm great.

I was gonna say, are you high?

I'm a little hungover, okay, and a little high hungover, which people say you can't do, but you can feel it.

The next one cotton mouth.

Yeah, if you have too many bong rips, it kind of ends up lingering. The next morning, we're.

Still doing that.

Oh, I'm still doing it. It was my birthday yesterday. I had birthday. Thank you.

Bond Rips are like the whitest thing that.

You can exactly with a big white tea slides with socks on. That's at home.

That socks is pretty black, Yes it is, but bon rips is definitely way.

Bond Rips is definitely what with some Planet Earth playing on the flat screen TV.

I feel like the thing that I learned recently is you can smoke weed and then drink.

But if you drink first and then smoke weed, it's not going to be a good feeling.

No.

I try not to mix, never mix, never worry with poisons.

Drinking and edibles is a no go.

I had red wine and then a birthday cake that was filled with weed. When I tell you, I was on that toilet saying all types of lords and Jesus and please throw up. And then it was an outer body experience because I'm so high and I'm like, I'm looking at myself. I'm picturing myself on I see myself on the toilet. I'm looking at myself throwing up, and it's like, but you are the one throwing up.

Yeah.

I was a few months ago when I was in LA. I was hanging out with this dude who I was like, Oh, he likes me, Like this will be fun, Like I don't. He likes me more than I like him. And he came to one of my shows. We drank a little, then went back to his house. He was like, oh, do you want to take a bond rip?

Did it?

Coughing all over the place so high that I went to the bathroom, sat on his toilet, so you know I was high because I don't sit on anybody's toilets. Sat on his toilet, fell asleep toilet, woke up.

I don't even know how long later, and that was this story. I didn't even hear this.

Oh the dog was outside scratching the door. I think the dog thought I died. And then I was like, oh, he thinks I'm in here taking a dump. And I came out and was like I gotta go home. He was like, I think you better.

Then he was like, yeah, Peter.

Let's talk about you.

Okay.

From why should people care?

I don't know why people should care. But I'm from Chicago. My family we moved to Montana, so I'm from the mountains. That's home. It was just there this past week. It's gorgeous. The people are spooky as hell. Has to drive past a gigantic Trump sign to get into my parents.

What does the sign say.

It's a it's not even a sign, it's a flag. The guy that lives in front of my parents, we share the same like long windy road, and he has this flagpole with a comedic sized American flag, and then above it he's put a comedic sized flag which is just all black with white capital letters that says Trump waving in the wind.

No.

So I spat on his lawn a few times, clicked him off a few times when he was in the driveway. You know, you gotta just kind of pay it forward. Okay, So that's where I'm from.

Okay, So what is something about Montana that you can tell us that we don't know? Literally anything?

You can literally anything you can. I think you can imagine most of it. Whatever you can imagine in your mind is true. Have you seen Twin Peaks?

No?

No, have you seen any David Lynch movie? I don't like the Yeah. Well, this guy's like capital W white guy who has Yeah, he's from Montana and he makes uh if you watch it, his brain is something only Montana could create.

When I think of Montana, I think of like red dust, like dusty red road.

It's there is that it's more like brown roads. And the mountains are really green, and there are a lot of mountains. But there's a forest fire all over the west at the time being, and it's really smoky there.

I thought, well, I won't be going there.

Yeah, I can't be going in there.

Are going to go there anywhere?

You can come with me. It's very fun and very relaxing. You don't talk to anybody.

How was the shopping? How are the thrift shops in Montana.

The hit or miss. You go to one and it's like, wow, this is all from people that you know, bought this at the thrift store, like twenty years ago. That was purchased in like it's kind of garbage. But then you go and you find some real good stuff.

Like a the dazzled jacket with shoulder pins.

Exactly from some like secret rich lady that moved there in the seventies. So there's some good stuff. I got some good stuff from some rich ladies that moved there in the seventies.

I follow you on instat and I know that you got the looks.

I have a lot of looks.

Yeah, and I feel like it's out of town looks. It's definitely not.

Oh yeah, I by shop out it.

Okay, you sports, yeah on the road. Also, your hair is blonde. Now I don't remember it being.

Dislike very blonde. I did it production paid for a baby, production paid from my play. I was and they died a blonde.

He's in Peter Pan, Yeah, Peter.

Peter, Peter was in Peter was Peter Pan. Yeah.

I thought Peter Pan was like a child.

Yeah, this was, you know, but you're a different, different look on an old classic, you know what I mean.

Okay, So tinker Bell was black and hadreds.

No tinker Bell, No, tinker Bell was white and very very famine gay.

But Peter were there eating black people at this play?

Yeah, okay, in the play, in the play, okay, okay.

And their characters.

Were in the play, yes, at the play. This was upstate at some at a college, and it was all I mean, you walk out and everyone's hair is so it just reflects the light back onto the stage. So just this glowing white audience of old people, of.

Old people, just the light bouncing off their ring.

The light bouncing off of that blue hair.

Beautiful.

Okay, so let's talk about some events, right, Like Sydney has worked a ton of events.

I feel like for the last.

I've intended a bunch of events because you know, I'm like, am you on the list is how much?

No, I'm not coming.

I feel like my birthday's coming up September twenty third. I love a themed birthday play.

They've been so good every time.

One of the past themes.

Last year the theme was suits. You to wear some type of.

Suit, catsuit, zoit suit, jumpsuit, a regular suit, jumpsuit, anything. People. Somebody wore a snowsuit, somebody wore bathing suit, like somebody had a suit of cards.

People had suit of cards on it was like okay, yeah, and then the year before that it was fresh Prince.

I feel like this year I wanted to be disco. I want to be like shiny.

You look really good at a disco.

You so much like just channeling Donna Summer, just do it.

And I have so much crap with sequence and bill bottoms.

Yes, I'm ready, and then you want like the playlist is taken care of.

So okay, so now where what we're doing stuff?

Right? Already you're setting the tone, you know so much? A strong tone. Well the theme helps if you don't, it helps, okay, And it tells people like what to expect, what to wear, people should Yeah, okay, I'll do that. Yeah fun?

So what what else? What other?

What else do I need to have like a productive disco birthday party?

Oh? You need uh tunes? Well, what's it? A disco place? You got liquor, you got music, Yes, you got fun lighting?

Yes, oh see.

I wasn't even thinking about the lining, but I was thinking about like if you got like streamers, if you get like colored curtain, if you get the.

Bead, yeah, a bunch of like you could get a put some like powdered sugar, cocaine everywhere.

No, the people, the people when I come to the party, would.

Powder then just leave mirrors everywhere?

Oh my god, for this? Wait, these mirrors that got cocaine on it? Can I do that? You're gonna get cocaine for the party? No? Friends, The sugar, the raw sugar.

Last year, I started a tradition where I do Molly every year on my birthday.

I would cocaine.

Molly's Pretty Disco too, Thank you so much.

But I didn't really have good Molly lash No. As somebody watching her on Molly, I was like, this is whack. Right. She didn't pull a titty out or nothing, nothing. She did it and she's like, don't touch me. She like on my phone, I don't. Sidney was like super excited that I did Molly.

Yeah, and she was like taking video and shooting pictures and she was just I felt like she was really close.

To me, and I was like, please, just don't let anybody touch me. And we got that don't.

Take that's good, you got footage.

It lasted for like an hour, so it was not that good.

But this year, you know, I got a couple of weeks to get my Molly connection together, so I'm gonna do it for real this year, allegedly listening Yes, thank you so much.

And I was like, don't tell anybody, but I'm on Molly. But I said that to every single person at the party, so.

We shared secrets. Always a great party A party.

Wait, so, Peter, do you think it should be heavy on, like a party should be good, like with drugs and alcohol, or you could have a.

Party with that. I have a thing like I if I have people over and I I do smoke weed and what you know, but so I will have some people don't drink, some people only smoke. And I'm always sensitive to that because you know, I'm always sensitive to it. So because I don't sometimes I'm not eating that thing or sometimes I you know, all get shit. So if I leave weed out for people, I always have to call my senator that morning. People are in jail. I can't be like, you know, the too many people are

I feel like we need to take another step back. If you just leave weed out for.

People, I do.

Enough orders.

I mean, yeah, I'm an expert.

Baby, literally the best expert.

I'm an expert. You gotta leave it out.

You just leave Every party I've gone to when the host is just so generous with things, it has been the best party.

Literally just taking something putting it in your purse.

Well, sure, if you want, you get it to go bag of coke.

It's you. I did get a blender, so.

You've got to get a blender. You gotta maybe steal a little weed from Peter's jar of weed.

That's why well will be at Peter's house for Peter. Do you live with a comic?

I live with Sandy Honig.

We were there for a photo shoot with the mateo Lane and Stabros.

Okay, good to notice it's a home. It's a home studio. We've got a home in studio.

Where all the good stuff is that now, I know, I know.

Have you ever been at a party when and a guess was just like ridiculous with the drinking on the drugs or like.

A party I've had. Yeah, people, there's if I have a party, someone always passes out in my bed, in your bed. One person will well I'll always be fine with and I will then you know, tuck them in for something. I'll be like you need water, Okay, great, I'm gonna shut the door. Okay, tap it off like.

I'm you know, no, you're gonna have them with the your bed.

If I love the person, it's fine, if it's a stranger that someone else brought him, like, Yo, get this, who is this? Get them out of my bed. But if it's a friend of mine, I'm like, oh, they're sleeping.

What if your friend is passed out in your bed with their shoes on, I'll take the shoes off.

What if they got their coat on.

I'll be like, I'm gonna call your car. Okay, that's what I'll do.

A pool, an uber pool. Maria'll be like, yo, who is this? And you're like, great, it's Sydney. I live the whole bit in the box.

So I'll put you in the box and kick you out my house exactly.

But if someone passes out, you know, that's always like all right, I guess I had enough stuff here for people to have a good time.

He's like, well, that's a control a great host.

There's always excess of something. I always have too much of something.

Have you ever been at an event or at a party?

Yes, about it?

Let's talk about that.

Oh.

The first thing that comes to mind. I haven't thought about this in a long time was in New Year's in high school. Actually, that's a this is far check out. Okay, this is like the first, I think like I made a mistake here and I someone had like adderall, and I was like, great, New Year's up, all night, baby cool, I'm sixteen. And then I drank two bottles of red wine because I was like, baby, I can't feel this.

Ow did? Yeah?

Someone brought me there and I was like, I'm amazing, ooh, adderall cool, red wine, awesome, throw up outside of their bathroom.

What were you wearing? Yeah?

I was wearing a gold a fully metallic gold French connection, like Bomber.

Jacket French connection.

I had bought it that morning because I was like, hell, yeah, it's New Year's I'm buying this and I'm going to spend all the money I got working at.

The art store on nine seventy nine dollars.

This was on sale. I remember it being on sale because I could not It was like thirty bucks. But I vomited, voomited it all over it.

French connection, French connection.

This was like yes, oh yeah, oh, I definitely got at Marshalls or I got a cold or something TJ's or something like that. But vomited all over that, vomited on my clothes and then just passed out in the vomit on their couch, surrounded by people. And I was like fully catatonic, definitely alcohol poisoned and just being like this is mortifying and sixteen.

Yeah, And that's how Lauren order s Fu starts out. There's like a young kids.

I've had enough, I've overdone it, and I've been like I'm gonna be fine, like often, but this was one of the only times I was like, I don't know ninety eight percent of the people here, I'm sixteen. I might die, but I can't move bye, that's the problem.

Oh oh, I got a good ass story. I got a good ass story. I was at this I was at this party. I was with DJ Clue. Can you believe it? Dj Clue Clue where's DJ Clue now, sis, I don't know, but at the time, not at this not on this podcast. But I was at a party and it was I was with like models and my friend from work, my friend Caitlin, and I'm drinking Patron and then somebody was like, ooh, let's do what's Bailey's.

Sh yes, but that was.

And then I had vodka, vodka and cranberry juice, so I had all those things.

We're having a good time. They're like, let's go to this guy's house.

This guy has like a huge condominium in Soho beautiful.

So we're in the escalade. We're going there escalate. It was DJ Clues right right. So we're having a good time. We get to the house.

The house is beautiful, Like I shouldn't even I should be I should take my shoes, my clothes. It was Prisine, if the couches were white. Everything was great. Everybody's having a good time. I black out and I start projectile vomiting everywhere on the couch everywhere on DJ Clues, not him. It was another guy's eton or whatever. They take me to. They take me to, They take me to the bathroom. The bathroom is beautiful. It's one of those like marbles,

Absolutely bitch.

And you know how the hair situation was. It wasn't my hair and it shouldn't have been in that show.

Was it a synthetic wid It was very clipping. It was it was like me in college.

So this was so it was like it was package hair, beauty supplied, Beauty's beauty.

Hair beat her.

So another girl was like, we should take her clothes off. They take my clothes off while I'm in the shower. This is right, okay, I'm convulsing, convulsing in the shower. I'm about to die. And DJ Clue is like, right outside of the bathroom.

You thought he was outside.

He was inside holding soggy blouse.

He was like, that looked like beauty supplies store hair. He was like that don't look like shoo shoot, new weave, new weed.

So anyway, I throw up. They they wrap me up in a in a blanket. They put me on the couch. The guy was really sweet about it. He was like, I just wanted to make sure you're okay. I thought you died. I was like, so, y'all rolled me up in a blanket. They're gonna put me in a rug, in a rug or something.

Yeah, throw you in the Hudson. That's how long order is for you shoot end.

Clothes at ship.

How old were you when that happened. I was like twenty four. I ran out of college.

I feel like the drunkest I've ever the first time I ever got blackout drunk. I was also sixteen, and I wanted to get drunk. I was drinking to get drunk because I was like, this is gonna be fun, you know.

I'd seen all the team party movies Like I was like, this is I'm supposed to do this?

And I was a black.

Wood from my house at my friend Farah's house and her other just kept giving us shots of like do y'all remember smearing off?

It was something like that, so cheap.

So cheap, so like like fruity tasting. And I got real drunk and they were like, oh, we can't take her home like this because my friends are. They're good friends. But then her parents were like, she has to go because their parents suck.

They threw me in the car.

I kept jumping out of the car because I was like, oh, they gonna beat my ass. Like I knew I was too drunk, and they put the child locks on. So I rolled the window down and tried to crawl out of the window of a moving car, and they put me between They sandwiched me between them, and then we.

Pull up to my house. The people across the street are having a party.

I'm trying to get out still as soon as the car stops, soon as the child locks are open, I fall.

Out of the car land on the street.

Right now, I have one of these dads that has like a real scary face, Like my dad looks like like a like a young Samuel L.

Jackson. Like that's what my father's face was like. And his name is Samya and.

His name is Samuel. So everyone in my neighborhood was always terrified of my dad. So this guy across the street saw me fall land on my face, he was like, is that marat? He kicks me up. He tells my friends to go. They leave me, and he sits with me on the porch. My dad is in the window behind us, watching this happen, and he opens the door right behind us.

This dude runs across the street. He's like, Nope, don't want these problems with this Haitian man. I'm so drunk that I'm like, well, maybe my dad didn't see me. I crawl behind the bushes. My dad is like, I could see you. I'm like, well, now I'm peeing, so I have to stay here.

Oh my gosh. They pulled me in the house. I'm like covered in pee. I threw up. There's like water bottles all in my purse. My mom was like. My mom was like, she's on drugs, and I'm sure they beat mass. I can't remember. That's how drunk I was.

But that same day, my brother came home high in brand new shoes and my mother was like, where did you get those?

And he was like they were having a sale. So my parents thought that they failed that day, and they kind of do. But my sister was there. She was reading books or something.

Yeah, highlighting a big, big book, yeah yeah, with glasses like drinking water yeah yeah yeah. Yeah.

So Peter, one of the rules is not having a sixteen year old at your party.

Not being sixteen years old, I don't know how to have drugs. That's the yeah, because the mistakes you make after that, it's like, no, this is I mean, it's your fault when you're sixteen, but after that it's not really forgivable.

It's not. And so leading to that.

Food, food is a great deal at a party because when people tell me they have food at the house, I'm thinking they have food crackers, not food.

That's right.

That's why you got to like, I like having a meal or like something like pizza, like something actual pizza is not related whatever, but something pizza is so easy you can have it. People can eat that for dinner or whatever. But then I usually have some crackers, but just that. And you're inviting people over at like seven, it's like people are expecting dinner. Here your food.

Yeah, but if you invite somebody somewhere at seven, they're not gonna show up to like eighty thirty exactly because.

They might potentially you never know. You have to you have to.

If I want people to come to my house at seven thirty, what time should I invite them to the house.

You want them to be there at seven thirty. Uh, I don't know. I don't know if you know, if you know that they're all going to show up an hour.

Late and but them at six thirty, they're gonna come at nine.

I know. Well that's how well.

Marisa at six thirty. I know she's always about an hour late. I don't want to be the first person there, so I get to carry the one divided about six eleven Uber serve pricing.

I got to get there at twelve.

It's brunch. You'll do brunch the next one exactly.

Yeah, people, you know what are you going to have on the on the like table? Though? When people are coming in at your party.

Well, pizza. Fried chicken is always really good, except the fried chicken clean up is a major thing. Oh, you gotta know what to do with.

The Should I have a disco fried chicken party?

People? No one gets more excited when there's a gigantic pile of fried chicken.

It depends on what kind of fried chicken did you?

Actually, that's a horror story I have of a party.

Let's talk about this.

I lived in Missouri and it was it was there was some there was okay chicken. Sorry, but Louis Saint Louis. But I had a party. I don't care about that. I think the Kentucky Derby is like scary scarce with the hats, with the hats and like it's like just scary to me. So and but I had a Kentucky Derby party in college and in college classy, and it was a you know, people put you know, their fine and stuff that's on whatever. But I was like, I'm gonna have a bunch of fried chicken for this party.

It was just really a new business liquor.

It was disgusting. You Yeah, just put a good clear garbage can next to those that chicken, you know, so just people know where it was. The chicken good because it chicken was really good, Okay, because you were there.

Biscuits.

I had biscuits, I had chicken. I had Actually I called Martha Stewart for this party. I talked to her on the phone. I called her on her podcast, how about that You're alive? I had Twitter. I just got on Twitter and she was, you know, she's always active on whatever the up and up is, and she was tweeting about her ExM radio show. Sorry to advertise a different radio pro you are, But she was like, call me in, call in your questions whatever for like parties. And I

Yeah.

So I called her and I was like, Hi, wow, uh, I'm having a Kentucky Derby party. What should I put out? And she was like, put out some bri and cucumbers And You're like, I know that, lady. I was like I've seen a television show like this is, you know, And I was pissed. What to put out though, But then she said I I'm going this year and I said oh. She was like, I need to find a hat. I probably have a hat around and I said, oh,

I love the Stewart.

I accidentally pissed her off, but whatever, well, thank you. She told me to three out and I was like, we know, that's.

Well, it's going to be at the disco party.

No, but I think there should be a fried chicken.

I think cheese is a hard one. I think cheese is a hard one.

Because unless people eat it right away, that's gross.

If it's a long ass party, you're.

Supposed to leave cheese out for five hours before you eat it.

What.

Yeah, that's what French people do, so it gets room temperature.

French people look like that's.

So that warm breeze, that moldy breathing and cigarette exactly No, wait, five.

Counting in the house. I let that happen if people are by the way.

Smoking cigarettes, Yeah, that's rude. I think that the only.

Cigarettes people should be allowed to smoke inside, like the long thin fun Well.

I just sometimes like someone's smoking a cigarette inside. I'm like, that's fun.

No, that's not fun to me, Not for me in my hair, not for me in my key account.

I mean, I guess that's How.

Do you feel about bringing stuff? Should people bring stuff to a party?

Let's talk about it.

Sure, like bottles or you know, drugs to share or a friend, Like how.

Do you feel about these things?

Uh, if you're gonna bring a friend, you better bring enough booze for two more friends because that friend's going to drink other people's stuff. Yeah, so you gotta be prepared. You should bring enough for you to be like, oh, this is enough for me. I think unless the person says don't bring anything, you know what I mean?

How do you feel about people who say don't bring anything? Because every time.

I the better have enough?

Yes, every time I.

Come and they're like, don't bring anything. I get there and I'm like, where's the seltzer? Where is the limons of the line? Yeah, like you they'll have the alcohol, but they don't have the things that you drink. If you don't drink alcohol, then like, where's the other beverages refreshments for my black ass?

You gotta have you need to have a You gotta have all options for everybody.

You have to because I agree that you should have some.

It's expensive, but you know what, if you're gonna do it right, treat.

If you've got to do a party, do it do to damn party.

Go big or go home while you are home and you're not being bigger.

Or if someone or if someone's coming and they have like really specific I don't know, if they don't drink, it can be like, you know, bring something to drink.

I don't have any free drinks.

Do you have any gluten free drinks? Sorry? I just had to repeat it.

Just imagine somebody said, like a vegan that doesn't.

Shrink blah blah blah blah blah. Exactly.

How do you feel about people who have those like restrictions coming to parties?

They can gifted.

I mean, as someone who will bring a restriction to a party, but it's not I'm not going to be like you don't have something for me, because that's not fair. It's not party is not for me. It's for the majority of the people that are there. So if I'm coming and I'm like, I don't eat that right now, then I will either shut up and deal with it, or I will bring something that maybe someone else doesn't eat that right now.

Sidney, how do you feel when you are a parties and there's nothing for you or there are no sober people options?

As a sober person, the party ain't for me. It's not for me.

There will be nothing there for me, Like there'll be a flavored club soda and maybe a tostito with a.

Hints of lime.

I feel like, if you know sober people are coming, you better have a fucking tostito with a hint of lime. Bitch, did you just bring a regular tostitoot?

Okay when you said you want lime flavored chip talking.

About the chips that you did?

Yes?

Because I don't know why. I'm thinking of Toastino's pizza roles. Is that a thing?

Tosto toastitos, tostitos toastinos though, that's that's fun for a party.

Tostinos, bagel bites, you know what I'm talking about? No, that sounds very bro Pizza bagels that like toastinos or anything like frozen tater tots that's also really white, you can also have. That's why I like fried chicken though, because everybody likes fried chicken and it's dinner. I went to an appetizer in one.

I went to a chicken and beer party once under a bridge. It was fried chicken and party. It was fantastic, but I don't drink beer. I was like, it's not a good to say. It's a chicken and beer party, not a chicken and rose party. So I decided to take my chicken and go.

Yeah, that's good, thank you. I get what you want from the party, and if once you get what you wanted from it, get either.

So how do you feel when you plan an event right and then because you know, like people will double stack things right, They'll say, I'm going to go to this thing for half an hour and then go to this other thing. How do you feel when people come to your thing, get drunk on your stuff and then dip early?

Is that something that like you or just in general.

Like, never got pis I've never that doesn't That's fine?

Yeah I have.

I had a couple of friends who have problems with that what happened. It was, well, it was her birthday actually, which don't tell.

Don't tell the person. Don't be like, I'm going somewhere better buy. Thanks for the drugs and the booze. Thanks for letting me pregame here, but sorry I cut you off.

No, no, no, that's pretty much what it was. They came to her birthday. They didn't bring anything, Nope, nope, which I think is is it's a it's a toss up. It's like how close are you to this person? But it was an intimate thing at her house and her house.

If you're not that close to me, why are you at my birthday party?

One? Right?

But you're not bringing anything too, And it's at my house. It's like twelve people here, Yes, why are you here?

I mean that's not true.

I've invited people that I'm not really that okay, right, shut up. And it was in the financial district and the apartment was bombed. Like you would have gone, Marie, absolutely everybody's going to come.

Everybody.

They would have looked at the address Easy Street or Street Easy or whatever. They'd be like sixty Water Street taking photos. I'm getting my my new apps out my face two and everything.

New hinge profile. So she's there and.

You know, one the people came in with other friends, which, like you said, if you're gonna bring somebody, you better bring some respects.

Exactly.

They came, they drank. They she had food that she actually cooked, prepared herself. They ain't that, and then they barely spoke to her and then they bounced.

That's rude.

Where these people, she knew these are like neighbors, like people who heard the music and they came in ate and then left.

They live in the vicinity. But no, they weren't neighbors.

That's rude.

It's very rude. Right.

Well, it's like either you're gonna come and leave soon, so you better leave something. I don't know, like there's rules to it. Put a bottle in it, like I gotta go. But here's one Celia that's like, okay, great, thanks a lot for keeping the party going instead of taking the party and then leaving and dashing. People are rude.

I sat here and slaved over this roasted chicken and you just ate some and then left.

That's so she roasted chicken.

That was it dinner part It was like it was yeah, and while she was telling me about this party.

I said, but you did not invite you time. I said, I would have stayed the whole night.

I would have brought an overnight bag, bitch, that's why you didn't get invited. I would have brought some Rice Krispy treats like I would have had dessert.

Yeah, Rice Krispy trees.

Those are good because those can just kind of stay out and they don't get Yeah, we got to figure out if that doesn't get funky, if it stays out.

We were at a barbecue recently and somebody made like a homemade here was that. I don't know, Oh, Rebecca Vigil, I had so many rice Christmas write down.

Yeah, because that's the thing. If you're famous for something or you have something good, it's like, hey, bring that.

Bring it like alternate understudy snacks.

Bring the things. Make that dip. You had a friend that made a dip. She makes us like dip. That's so it's like a taco. It's like you mix a bunch of ship and it's terrible for you, but it's so good. Got like MGG like a heaven layered dip. You bring the toast with lime. It's like just yeah, bring it.

Over, Okay.

But my thing is, how do you feel about trusting people who make things at home and then bring them to party? Talk about it dirty hand, dirty hand. They don't wash the lettuce like people. They don't know how to make macaroni.

Balance you. If you see someone that's like suspect, you got to just be like, so this is this? Uh Marie made that. You know, just be clear when you're like showing people coming, like there's food over there. Marie made that.

No no, no, but you know what I'm saying, like I'll wash and rinse and triple everything. But I was at this party, uh with an ex boyfriend, you know, the one, the only one that I have years ago, and uh, we were eating this like anti pasta dish.

It's like lettuce and salami, right salami. I was like, went back for thirds, okay, went back for thirds.

The guy who made it happened to be standing next to me, and I was like, this is so good.

He was like notice that.

He was like it was real easy to make too. I didn't have to rinse it or nothing, because it's the package. It's triple rinsed. I said, you still need to rinse this.

His ants in this. Yeah, there's legit bugs Like.

You listen, just because the back says triple rints or whatever, you still have to rinse the leaves.

There's legit. There are bugs in bugs still.

And I don't know how many you know farm roaches I ate, but I had three.

Of this anti pasta ant an. I'm trying to put that in there. I heard I was.

But I did go to a barbecue once and it was like on somebody's roof and they were cooking on the grill and I was eating a cheeseburger and I was like, okay, this is kind of cute. And the guy on the grill, a dog came up to him and I was watching him flip the meat with like two of his fingers and the spatula and then the dog came and you let the.

Dog lick these same two trash. I threw my burger off.

The roof, Yes you did, because it's just it's like not everybody is clean, and not everybody sees and things the way and how what do you do when you bite into something and it trash and you see at the party and you see the person that you're like, I know you made this you know what I do. I throw it under the couch. I spin it into a napkin, and then I throw it under the couch.

I can't. I can't think of the time that that's happened to me right now. I can't. I can't. I don't.

You've never been to a party.

I really can't think of something. But what I would do is I would Yeah, it's be it to a napkin and check out.

Something Todney, what do you do if you bite it? This something in is trash.

I'm so vocal that I'm oh, I'm clutching my bro I'll probably before I eat it that looks weird.

No, I'll stay clear for me.

I'll ask who made it. I'll see what their fingernails look like. And then if I taste it and it's trash, I'll warn all the black people coming in after that, I like, no, you don't want eat that.

If I'm there with Marie, I'm going live on answer the girl.

Look at this macaroni dry ass salad. My throat feels like I just swallowed glass.

Do you like macaroni?

No?

Not really.

Anything that's like mayonnaise based on mayonnaise.

Pasta I'm here for a macaroni and cheese and even that, like there's a there's an art to that, you know, like not craft.

How do you like it? Do you like it with cheese up baked? You like it with bread crumbs?

You like it with That's the only way macaroni and cheese should have, like three cheeses.

It needs to be baked.

Oh, Marie, what's that thing that we had that was like pee, it was peas, it was peas and cheese.

It was where were we? Oh yeah, salad?

And every when it came and everybody was like, nobody's touching that. I got up and had some said this is phenomenonal, was like is everybody jumped up?

It was gone. We bust that ship down.

Okay everything Brussels sprouts, peas and cheese.

No, that is bustles separate. But I put it all on the same plate and need the whole.

Dingyeah yeah, yea yeah, so good. So that's the thing. You're either given dinner or you're given snacks.

Okay, I'm gonna add Jenny's name to the list for the birthday. Yes she did.

And if it's a birthday and you have friends, like you know, it's like, can you please make that? It's so good? And they're like, sure, that's your birthday gift.

I like when people just bring bottles, you know, like bring stuff that when the party's over, I'm taking this home and I'm not a big drinker, so that stuff will last me for a cool year.

And if you're a guest, you can bring a bottle up. But you can if you know there's going to be enough for you whatever, you can hide it in their fridge with like a little note on it. And how good is that when you find like a secret bottle or something like, oh thank god, I got this rose right now?

Peter the guest list, how do you feel about you invite you? It's open, you're inviting every but there's people who have drama with each other?

What's up with that?

That is their problem, that's what you think, and then it could become your.

Problem, right because then they get into a fight and they break your coffee table.

Now, what what's up you? Okay? Dust all over?

Ye cocaine does? Donna Summer's blaring on the speaker. You Uh, it's bad. Girls. You got to I don't know, kick them out. Say this isn't about you, you're gonna have to go.

But do you invite both parties though.

Or unless you invite the one that you I mean, you know, if you're friends with both, you shouldn't take sides. But if you're closer with othermen, don't.

Or you tell them that they're soonel is going to be here, So and so might come just so they know.

But I feel some type of way, like we.

If we close friends and you invite somebody that you know, I have a problem with.

What were we doing?

Sis, I'm inviting her for the gift she's coming because you know she gives good she brings good presents.

Or if you're friends with if you like both people, you just gotta tell them beforehand, like this person's coming, so you can either deal with it and I'll I'll.

Be like what, Yeah, Sydney went live at my birthday party last year because I didn't invite a bunch of people that I don't like, but I was inviting total strangers. I was like, oh, you're cool, you have cool suit on come to my birthday And Sydney went live and was like, Marie throws the best parties. If you aren't invited, she don't like you and.

And messaging me the day.

People were messaging me the next day and they were like, I see so and so was invited to your birthday party. I thought that we were remembered. There was a there was a friend of mine who I'm.

Still not really cool with a year later because he didn't get invited. And it was like, but you kind of boring dude, Like you didn't get invited because like you're like a wet blanket.

I'm not inviting you to my birthday party. So you're stuck on me all night, Like I want to spend time with my friends and I don't want like some like uncomfortable.

Like dad dude. They're like, Okay, actually you might need a coaster for that.

Okay, like that's why you weren't invited exactly, not you, But you can come this year.

Okay, I'll bring stuff.

Stuff, Peter, what are you bringing? Yes, let's talk about it.

I gets a case by case basis, but usually it's bottles, yeah, because like bringing food on the trains hard.

It is on the trade.

Were the folks at home if you're taking the train, if you can take a car and you can put you know, a couple of cakes in there. Do it. But if you're taking the train, just put a bottle in your bag and call.

It a day.

What's your go to bottle? Usually Rose, Yes, thank you, it's so classy.

Or I'll get like yeah Rose yellow tail yellow. I'll get like a like I'll find actually, someone brought Trader a trader Joe's box a Rose eight. You feel about wine if it's like I like, I'm into it. I'm rerillly.

I like box one. I like a cane one of rose.

There aren't big bottles. They're like that you don't have to open the bottle. You just kind of like pump it out. I'm into it. They're taking good ones. There are good ones.

There are good ones. There are good Yeah, I seed juice box Rose.

Absolutely.

Actually one time we were we were at a barbecue Sid and I had to leave and I didn't want to leave my wine and I cut the top off a juice box and poured my wine into the juice box.

Do you remember that she's a crafty bitch.

I think people should it be. It's nice if people leave with something. You get it again, blender.

Liveries of my birthday party and you leave all your bottles.

Some people live leave with HPV.

It's great, okay, sure, but now, okay, hold on, how do y'all feel about people who bring you something for your party then leave with that thing?

Leave with it?

Okay, it's fucked Peter. Hold on, what if you make something for the party? Everybody look at it and be like and so it's there, So you're like, well, I'm taking my thing back.

Actually, you know what? I did this earlier this summer.

Okay.

I was so I was in this play and there was a Fourth of July party that everyone was going to and I had come back to the city for something and I was at Grand Central Station and there was there's a Magnolia Bakery there. Yeah, and I was like, the fourth of July tomorrow, I don't have anything to bring. I what if I And I looked at the case and there was this gigantic banana pudding.

There was just they're known for the banana yeah, and it's this big.

Like bucket of it. And I was like, what if I roll up with the gigantic bucket of banana pudding?

People that a bucket is it's it's But there were like fifty people there, like it's like a family.

No, it's like this, like it's a nice bucket. I'm calling it a bucket, but it's like a plat. It's a big thing with like a sticker and you know there's branding on it. It's nice gallon of for a crowd, for sure. So I'm like, let's go to this party with sixty people fifty two seconds ago. Sixty now a lot of people, seventy people. I put it in the fridge. The party's ending, and I forgot to take it out of the fridge. There's enough. There was enough food for

Would you tell the host that you were taking your thing back.

I did not tell the host I took it and he didn't see me put it in the refridge.

No one saw, no one. The best way to do it you just bring it.

But I didn't intend to hide it. I would truly. Just like I got there, I put it in the fridge like this, it's too hot. I can't leave this out when dessert happens later.

That's noted Marie put it in a refrigerator, put it way back, No, forget about it.

The other day I went to brunch and I bought a bottle of champagne, like cute champagne too.

Actually, somebody gave it to me for my birthday last year. It's just been sitting in my fret for a.

Year, so I pulled. I bought this to the brunch the other day. There was already champagne and rose and I was like, oh, we're not going to get to my bottle, like I gotta take this.

Right before I was getting ready to go to the fridge, they were like, did you guys want to do another round?

And one person said yes. I said, they popped my champagne open, and I was like, they're still like more than a half of the buck.

Cannot take it, like an open bottle of champagne on the queue trade.

I didn't take it, but I thought about it.

I was like, I should steal something else, like one of these disposable vapes or something.

Hell yeah, I didn't take it. They saw me looking at it, and I was like, they don't know that.

They hit it in the back of the refrigerator.

I know, I feel really stupid for leaving my champagne there.

Well, yeah, I'm having a lot of There are a lot of casualties at parties.

It happens, you know.

Someone opens it. My one of my pet peeves is when you open the can or something and you take a sip and then you'll leave it there. That's my that happens. That's why you get over it. The leaders, you gotta don't get I'm all about the cheer leader.

Don't give people the options of having like something for themselves individuals.

It's all about the cheerleaders. And you got to have enough room in your fridge because people bring stuff and if there's no room in the fridge, you don't have an ice. You don't have ice.

You gotta have a fucking fridge.

Hot beer and hot rose. No, thank you.

That's great about the beer. The beer, it wants to be there.

I don't drink I don't drink beer, but you got to have that cold, cold pink, you know what I mean.

Well, when people get like water bottles or they like keep forgetting where they set their cups down and they just can't get more and more cups.

That happens. But you just got to keep the drinks cold.

Uh.

My last question is about hookups.

How you feel about people hooking up at the party in the bathroom, because listen.

I have some stories about people getting hid and a house party.

If it gets there, I'm totally down for it. But you got the house there has to be on their back. If there's only one bathroom and you're in there for twenty minutes, that's rude. Go home. Yeah, you'll have more fun use the neighbor's house. You will go get a car and go back to your apartment and just have a great time in your own bathroom. But if you I don't know if it happens, so why not, that's fine in my opinion, you.

Have something that you can I have nothing to say.

Have I I've hooked up people at a party. I don't know. I want that to happen. People have a great time.

Don't think that I've hooked up with somebody at a party in a bathroom.

In the bathroom. Ever, I don't hook up with people at parties.

I feel like every time I've gone into a party and I've gone into their bathroom after an hour of being there, the bathroom is disgusting death not.

I went to a party in the host was hooking up with someone that they've met at the party, and everyone was like, is there trying you know, trying to like find more. Like people were just left to kind of host themselves at this person's house. And it's like, come on, like you know, I'm all for you, but like tell us to go.

You need like a like a like a party coordinator.

Almost, well, you can't have a party in order for your self. You can't have a party for yourself in a certain sense, you know what I mean. If you're at the birthday party, it's for you, but you can't be uh, you can't have it, so you can then abandon everybody. You can't have it, so you can then good time.

If they're like we're gonna bring the cake out is has anybody seen Marie and someone's like, I feel like I saw her hopping a cab forty eight minutes ago.

When people are like happy birthday, Uh, I mean, I'm all, well, body text her?

She left her phone?

Well, I guess she's dead. But I guess she died on her birthday.

That's that's how you go out on the day you were born. Yeah, but the tombstone is gonna be real sad. Four three tips, let's.

Go, let's go around.

I guess and and hate everybody listening with your three party tips.

Here, Sydney me.

You need you need ice? Yes, you always need ice. Yes, And you're no one's going to bring it. No one's gonna bring ices.

Annoying to bring it's annoying to bring it.

If you're a guest, bring a bag of ice, You're that's something, even though it's frozen water, that's important.

If you're the guest and you bring a bag of ice, you're like the person that's like, I'm gonna bring cups.

Yeah, that's a step up.

No ice is it is a step up from cups? Yeah, But you're then gonna be the life saver in like four hours and it's like.

Fuck, right, you only bought one bag. If you're like, oh, I thought, yeah I was gonna have you.

Then bring three bags a lot of ice to bring you five bags of ice.

Five bags of ice, so we got ice? What else.

Enough? Well? I think the stuff about like non alcoholic stuff is good. You need mixers, Yes, yes, you need mixers. If people are just taking shots, you're gonna the party's gonna end in like two hours.

People are gonna die.

And people are gonna get too rowdy, and no one's ever nothing's ever too rowdy. But people are gonna then leave to go somewhere you know you're yeah.

They're gonna wander out, forget their shoes.

Yeah, but my third one, uh, make sure you just gotta have enough food.

I love everything that you sit ice, food, mixers, all the food.

He's you have to make sure it lasts a long time. If the ice runs out, your screwed. If the food runs out, everyone's pissed. If there's no mixers and everyone's taking shots only of hot vodka, I'm not coming back to this house.

I don't love vod what's you talking about?

How you do it?

It's warm, hot vodka, Hot Toddy vodka. Yeah, okay, here are my three ready.

One.

First of all, I love a theme. If there's a theme and you're coming, you need to adhere to that theme. Don't be showing up in your regular if the theme is dad jeans, don't throw up show up in a mom jean.

Okay, like show up, do it if you're coming. Uh. My second thing is when the party's over and you.

See people leaving and you still trying to linger because you think I want your dick, you gotta.

Go, like, don't be okay, well.

Like unless you're staying to help clean up, like and even then after that's done, you.

Have to leave. People be lingering like did you did you need anything else?

Yeah?

Then another drink it's like yeah, or they're like let's put you know what song are really and they try to put a song on, or like watch a music video.

You gotta go. It's time for you to leave. Uh and uh.

My third thing is uh and this is a thing that my dad still says to me as a grown ass woman. If you're at a party and you're drinking something, you set your cup down. When you come back, that cup is no longer yours, because you don't know it's people.

People be crazy.

Somebody might have asked a cigarette in it, or like throw a roofie in it. Either way, if you set your cup down, that's not your cup when you come back, keep it with you at all times.

Don't get s V you done. Don't get SV. You don't get SV you glues sendney.

What are your three what are your three party rules?

Uh?

Let your neighbors know. You got to let the neighbors know because they've never done you that, or at least invite them so they feel like, oh, they knew about the party, and then if they want to come they can because the neighbors are crucial to how long the party gonna last. Remember we were at our friend's party and somebody called the cops and the cop came, and the cop knew our friend at the part.

He was like, is that Helen?

He forgot he was there for a noise complaint and then screamed He's like, all right, you know, do what y'all doing, but keep it on a little bit, give it a little and it was like, are those crap kids?

And he just the cop had the.

Time he screaming.

It was so good. He screamed, is that Helen?

It's amazing.

It was incredible. I was like, damn, Helen, you the cop.

Thank God for Helen.

Love Helen.

Leave your drama at the Doorkay, we don't want to hear about your breakup. You can't be crying in the corner, bitch. We're here to turn up. Like, if you're having a good time, let's have a good time. If you need a moment and we need to go downstairs and you need to a little bit, let's vent. But we in the party. I can be in the corner consoling you. They just got my jam on okay, Notoria, no, no, no, notorious trying to.

Do my do girl, Like, come on, let's have a good time, be out exactly. And then lastly, there's a time and a place for drugs, so like not like at a church youth party.

No, someone's like a key you with a bunch of coke on it walking around.

We had a baby. We had a baby shower where you got a ball. Come on, had a baby shower. Let's not just celebrate.

Life if.

You're gonna die like and be reincarnated as that new baby.

But yeah, there's a time and a place.

I feel like, if you're doing drugs at a party, yes, keep a cute, go to the bathroom, have a designated closet for the coke. Like some people were not trying to relapse. So if I come in and y'all all just partying, then it's like I gotta go.

Now because now I'm stressed.

Okay, the coke closet, cold closet, didn't you say they had one?

I want to Azelia Banks's house.

I'm sure. I'm sure she does.

A mutual friends of our, Like, they had a party in Soho and they people kept going in and had this room and I was like, what's going on in there? So I went in and they were just doing cocaine in this classic that's glassy, and they were like, close the door.

You're letting all of the area.

You're letting all the coke out.

You're letting the cocu.

But also also if you have drugs and you're trying to be sneaky about it, like it's weird, like you add a party, you don't want everybody to know you're doing coke, but I see the ring around your nose.

Yeah, Also, you going this problem?

I mean that's just that that's when it becomes their problem.

Okay, I have a question, and before we go, what if you have a party and people leave their shoes at the door and I go to get my shoes at the end of the night, they're not there. Car what we gonna do, Carrie bradshop and you don't tell you it was a Manilo.

It was Manolo Blanis where are my shoes?

That is really now, I'm like, I'm stressed thinking about that.

I'm also stressed.

I think leave it some crocks.

I'm not. I'm coming right in with your with my shoes on.

No, you knew you was having a bar your shoes off household you better have like, I don't know. That's like booty don't have a party then, yeah, like because that means you're gonna spill something like what you don't want us to drink anything on your carpet, like.

A bar roll the rug up so we could party.

Some like sawdust on the floor in case.

You're good on the couch, you're good.

Disgusting.

Last note, when you come to the party, don't put your dirty ass hands on the wall.

That's said, don't put your dirty ass hands in the bowl of food.

Pour it out. Don't be coming in and digging for you touch it, you take it.

Yeah, that's it. You gotta have something to get.

Wear gloves everybody.

Everybody gotta have those gloves so whenever they touch it is clean.

You know, people are gross. I love it.

I'm excited about all the parties that we're gonna tend. Do you have any parties coming up that you're excited about.

I'm excited for your disco party.

Sorry disco fried Chicken, Sydney, you gotta put.

I'll bring edible glitter and you can put glitter on the fried chicken. Wait what, I put a lot of glitter on food.

Yes see, I went to I went to Sandy's party and they were just they put glitter on glitter, glittered everywhere.

They're eating glitter. Wait, it was edible glue. You can't like.

Edible glitter is a food safe? Like really finely, I'm pretty sure it's still plastic, but you know you can digest.

It and it comes out in my poop though.

Oh yeah, people will text you. People that text me days after parties and like my shit was sparkling unicorn poop.

Cute's excited about party keeps going well. Peter, thank you for being here, Thank you for having me learned so much. Tell people listening where they can catch you.

Uh, Sydney, got it right. It's Bongo hour September fifth at the Slipper Room, eight p m. We have John Early, You've got Anna for a breakout. We've got strippers. Yes, it's got I'll probably take my clothes off.

It's absolutely cover yourself in edible glitter, so who will eat you?

There's nudity, and there's jokes and there's singing.

I've been there several times and it's a beautiful hour.

It's a beautiful hour.

Everything that you need, oh, all that is crammed into one hour.

One hour.

It's strippers and comedy and naked.

It's a good time.

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, And Sandy and Peter gives you looks and singing and.

Probably pour hot wax on myself at the for the folks at home. You're missing it me poorn.

Yes, okay, Now what's your social media?

My social handle? Go Instagram because I'm a I'm a visual person. Yes, you are so Insta I forget I have Twitter weekly.

I can't even spell.

I have like one hundred tweets. My Instagram is my name Peter Smith, but there's no vowels, so it's p t R, S M t.

H and Peter. You go by they Yeah.

Yeah.

Just shout out to you for.

Saying at the very end of the podcast, however you used all the pronouns.

Today. I'm dressed like Justin Bieber, so if you hear me, it's like, you know, that's.

My ma'am, sir ma'am, sir, sir end or mattle ma'ams. I just call you humans, sir, human human being.

Justinat Bieber.

Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for listening. Guys.

Shout out to all the new niggas and the old ones. Oh my god, I appreciate you guys being here. Shout out to Forever Dog, and for the last time, shout out to Comedy Hype for letting us flourish and then leave them. Yes, Comedy Hype with sweets. We love you, take.

Care, We like you as a friend.

Bye, guys, Forever.

This has been a Forever Dog production, executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit foreverdog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.