“The Getting Dumped Expert” with Jenny Gorelick

Forever.

Yes, hello, hi ah, I'm feeling good, are you? Yeah?

I mean we spent like an hour and a half together.

We did. We recorded Patreon.

Please go to our Patreon and uh listen to our messier messier episodes.

Yeah, I mean, I don't think we said anything messy today. We are classy cunty ladies.

We are classic.

Cunts, classy cunts. Can we do that as march on jackets? Classy classy cunts?

I like that incursive on the back of like a letterman jacket, like a varsity jacket.

We can't do times normal times, new Roman wingings.

Let's put it in wingedings.

Yes, well, what do we do last night? We have movie night? And that was cute.

Yes we did.

We watched probably the best worst movie I've ever seen.

In my life.

It's obviously the worst. It was a two hour movie. I have no idea what the movie was about. It was called Superfly, and.

There was nothing super or fly about it, No except for maybe that wig.

Was it a lace front? Did we figure out it might be his hair? But we watched it. Marie, my girlfriend, and some other people were smoking weed and we laughed for two hours.

Two hours.

We were roasting everybody in the movie.

The movie was so bad. Yeah, but we.

Were being typical black people in a movie theater, just yelling at the.

Scream screaming, well, you know they can't read right, just screaming.

Wow, he's gotta wear white every day.

There was like a there was a whole team of people in the movie that only wore white.

Yeah, they're a gang.

Their guns were spray painted white, their cars were white. One dude had on cream in one scene and we were like, oh, wow, that's not white. Wardrobe failed.

And then there was this really bad threesome sex scene, like a full on sex scene, like butt naked, and he had a bad body, yes, and by a bad body, I mean it was like he wasn't buff enough.

For No, he didn't have any back muscle, he had no bicep.

It was like a straight toothpick arm, and his he had like a perm in the movie. And in it was a shower scene that the sex happened in and his hair got wet and we were screaming for a shower cap because then his hair got wet, and then the next scene is him with his hair straight.

Again.

I was like, so we're not gonna show. Is him getting his hair blown out?

Yeah, we're not going to a tiny hot comb nobody.

Yeah, they didn't. We didn't get to see the real scenes that we want.

It was a crazy sex scene too, because they like at one point he's laying on the floor of the shower and the two women are on top of him and it was like, you know, his back is now covered in pubes.

Yes, yes, because it was his shower.

It was gross.

I don't trust the manically in.

Their bathroom enough to be laying on my back in the shower.

Marie.

Have you had shower sex? Yes, but I did not lay down. Friend.

Also, shower sex is like not convenient for anybody, right, it's slippery, Marie.

I'm trying to wait, what did you do with your hair?

Maybe the shower, maybe the maybe the the.

The thing was like tilted straight down? Is it shower sex if none of us are getting wet?

Hm?

Murray? Was this recent? No? Sitting here?

Look how uncomfortable. I'm sorry. Well, I haven't hadow slower shower sex in such a long time. It's too messy and my bathroom is not big enough for all that. What are you talking about our bathroom are tub it's not big enough, and the water when it's on one person the other person is called the way cold, and I hate that we both have to be in the shower.

So do y'all have shower sex when it's wash day?

Through the hairt No, we gotta be in the tub. It's got to be a bath.

Okay, So baths okay, Yeah, that's different sets. Yeah, we gotta have bath secks.

Just like and you gotta have bath sex right when the water hits the tub and it hasn't been Yeah, yeah, yeah, you drop the bath bomb and then you drop the coach bomb.

Yes, it's nice, pissy bomb. Yes, that's how does that work with lesbians? What do you mean bath sex? How? How does that work? What do you mean?

Like?

What are y'all doing?

Fucking having sex?

But how well, there's a strap ln in the bathtub. Yes, you can do whatever you want in the bathtub. It's your bathtub.

Wow. Wow, there's breaking you use it. You can use a whole arm. Wow as a dick, you know that full arm?

Yeah you've never been fisted, but no, Sydney, I have never been fisted in my life.

Never. It's a full vis look at how big my knuckles are.

Wow, Sidney, You're just Ray Charleston people, just the whole fist. I saw this crazy video on you on Twitter that somebody showed me of this woman that I guess she had been fisted in her butt and they poured fruit loops in it and.

Ate the cereal. Did you say that?

Like?

It was crazy? I mean, can you send it to me?

Listen, Zach showed it to me, so I gotta I gotta get him to send it.

To me, or so, can you please? I gotta do this. I got it.

It's gross, but I feel like she was I feel like she was farting a little bit and it was like.

Bubb I love fruit loops. That's my favorite. That and Rice Krispy Treats.

Oh you just like sugar diabetes asolute, baby. Rice Crispy Treats was just sugar cube. Yes, baby, I am here for some fruit.

I like my be I like my taint very sweet.

Your taint taint is that the taint outside the butt?

Maybe I thought the taint was like the little area between your butt and your coach.

Yeah, you never stuck on that before.

Oh my god, we're getting today six minutes.

You know, my pastor listen to the podcast, Hey pastor, Fry Ray, were you're an expert in anything this week? As an expert in being mean this week? A bully if you will?

Really?

Yeah? Oh wow, what a call back? What did you do?

Friends? You know all the things that I always do. I'm like, am I mean? Or are you sensitive?

You know?

That's a good Oh so where does my meanness stack up to like the people that you surround yourself with?

You know? If I'm mean that? Like, I don't know. I have no idea how to finish that sentence.

Let's let's ask the listeners. Do you think Marie is a bully? Do you think she's mean?

I mean, you think she has no heart? Okay, yes, she's mean. She's a bully. She has no heart.

I do have a heart. It's just little. It's like a like a.

Like a tiny ice cube, like you know when you do you you put water in the ice tray and like.

One cube won't be full.

For some reason, like you feel the tray and then they all freeze and one is like half.

That's my heart, Like that little half cube. I love it.

It's like a little nemo fin Oh my god, I love it.

It's great.

My heart is a nemo fin.

I mean, in the almost five years that we've been friends, I feel like your heart has gotten a little bit bigger. Wow, And I'll take it where my heart used to be Ami on set it best.

Used to be. Yes.

I don't think you're a bully. I think you're You're who you are, and I accept you as you. You've made me cry many times when it made me re evaluate myself. I said me, look in when when Marie hurts her feelings, you're like, it must be me. She's that abusive that you think it's all it's you.

Look, it's not hurts me, it's me.

Ya.

What do you say that it's that it's you? Oh, you don't think it's you think it's me. Wow, let's talk about it and shock spicy.

After all that we've been through in this studio, all the shick shock we had together.

I mean, but we've been making him pay for his own food. Yeah we do, that's true. Well, he's a producer, he's got to pay right, Okay, Well, Andrew, you know, maybe you should look in word.

You know I've done and I.

Know sometimes say you're just a little road, and that's fine.

Listen, our rudest friends are our bestest friends.

That's what honesty.

And truly, I feel like that's what your rude friend is going to say the ship that you can't say.

Your rude friend is going to say the stuff that you need to hear. Ah, but we call you a sexy tall producer intern.

Okay, what the problem is? Producer intern? We always in we go back and listen to all of the episodes.

Since the minute we started saying it, we always say our tall, gay producer intern.

It's true, it did and that was me. It was me. It did start with that, I said intern. But then but we say producer intern.

Now, yeah, we changed it and we said tall, sexy, single, ready to man, lives in Chelsea by himself.

Your roommate intern.

He's doing great.

Yeah. Wow, Andrew, I feel like that.

I hate it.

You needed to get that off here, that N word. You had to look inward you see and you tell him, are you mad?

Whatever?

You gotta get off your chest, bro, This is where to do it. This is where we're gonna do it. A spot yeah.

Wait okay, and so I was an expert in uh taking the time that I needed the first week of work? Did I say mention this already? Did I mention it on the podcast that I fell asleep at work?

Andrew?

I did?

Fuck, we'll say it again. I'm gonna say it again.

Yeah, I fell asleep at work.

Guys, you know what's happen again. It's good. Okay, So we didn't say it.

Okay, So I fell asleep the first week, the last day of my first week, I fell asleep, and I was sitting on a couch. And it's just like, you can't be on a couch and not take a little nap. I can, but yeah, sure, I fell asleep and I tried to play it off. And you woke up, your hair was in your mouth. You're like, mind you what was on my laptop? Kevin Hart was not watching his new special if that If you guys want to know my review on Kevin Hart, I fell asleep.

Wow, Well, I mean Kevin Hart has released I think too many specials back to back at this point for newer ones to be funny.

Honey, to close my eyes and I didn't look back.

And I still have a job, So I'm looking forward to next week.

Yeah, that's real. I love that for you. I'm so happy for you taking the time that you need. Guys, taking a little bit of you time. That's called self care.

Yes, and speaking of self care, our guests today Wow is a gym gen Jelic. She's a comedian and a producer and she is our getting dumped experts. Ah love it, give it up for Jinny grlic Hi.

Yeah, jn Wow, thank you for calling me angelic.

You are you? Actually your energy is very angelic.

But I feel like you might have been one of like the mean popular kids in school.

I actually was not, but I held onto that energy and now I use it when I need to. You know, I didn't have the opportunity to be a mean girl in school, but now you know it's pent up.

So yeah, you're giving me Gretchen wienersgy thank you, right, like not Regina George, but like adjacent.

Right, Like my father invented pop charts.

Yes, yes, that's a good one. Poptarts. Tell people that. Yeah, you should just tell people that.

I mean, it goes with you everything.

Thank you going around saying that their father invented post its.

What was that.

From the invented that they invented post its. I love that post its postmates. My dad invented postmates. Maybe say that, Yeah, that'd be good. Jenny, Where where are you from and do you have any feedback on anything that you heard thus far?

Well?

I love that we started super intimate. That was really fun.

Yes, with your stance on shower or bath six.

I've never had bath sex, and I feel like I need to immediately, So that's next on my list. Mm hmm. Shower sex. I like, I think you need to be having it with someone that you're not using condoms with.

So wait, who was using condoms in the sh.

No one, So, like you, you can't. It has to be someone that you save sex right right, So for that reason, you know, has not happened recently. For me, it's like that's a that's a boyfriend thing, and you're not there yet. I'm not there yet. I'm not there right now, And that.

Is so on brand because you're good at getting done.

I'm really good at getting done. Circle bitch.

Seems so sweet, but I feel like it's a little ticky ticky boom here, a little ticky ticky boom.

You feel it, you feel like it.

Doesn't see it.

When I see your pictures on Instagram. I'm like, she looks like such a good person. She's gotta have killed a cat at least.

No, right, she ran over a cat. Be right, you're so sweet. I won't.

I don't know your age, but you look so freaking young. He's the youngest person. You're not the youngest person. You look like the youngest person who's been on this podcast.

I know, but I'm twenty seven. I think I'm right in there with you. I'm right in there. But I hope that I look like you were eight. No, no, oh, yeah, I'm already going back a year. I'm at my age. Sorry, guys, from now on, I'm actually twenty one. So that's what I'm going to start saying.

Lean into that, into that dumb energy.

But I yeah, I look really young, and I hope to look this way when I'm forty. I just I want to be playing a teen on the CW, you know, at like thirty years old.

I see there was the black girl on Pretty Little Liars or something is like forty two.

Shut up, and she she's been.

Playing a high school student in her entire career, and I'm look her up. No, I'm looking I'm telling you it's a black woman or she's light skinned, so it's not even like Seann Melanie is all the way popping.

I don't know what her name is, sess with that show, not the show, but that she's playing someone so young.

For even Stacy Dash when we liked her on Clue List, she was like thirty four yeah, yea yeah, and now she's crazy and we hate her, but she was really she was a grown ass woman on that show.

Yeah, yes, Actually, well that was the thing back in the day.

You can you can look really young but be old and play these high schoolers, and then everybody wanted to look older because they're like, oh, it's actually thirty four year olds fucking playing sixteen sixteen.

Yeah, but I feel like we're not getting like the high school comedy dramas anymore, you know what I mean. Like, I don't know what movies are now, but I feel like we're not getting.

Can't hardly Wade or.

Damn right, We're not getting movies like that anymore, don't Jenny, Hello, there's a market.

There's a moment.

She had Bianca Lawson. She's forty years old. He's a child. Still, She's in Queen sugar too.

See Boom cast a gossip Girl. They're like fifty, they were fifty Gossip Girl.

I've never seen an episode. Ag Really, well, I'm not really here for Blake Lively.

Okay, that's fair. She's never got to be a good actress. But but she Blake Lively, she's I'm.

Sorry, say it space.

Sorry, I actually I thought she was amazing in a simple favor.

She said that movie was good.

It's a good movie. It's it's an insane movie.

And need to come out.

Last year. Yeah, great movie. Blake Lively is incredible in it because she's finally getting to play like the psychopath that we want from her, that we know she is, that we know she is. But when she's playing Serena Vanderwoodson, it's her hair that's doing the acting.

Did you write did you write this stuff before you go out?

Talk about Blake Lively?

But the bars right now, I think it's Marie. She brings the meat out.

You said that you think I might be a little mean. I have a little bit let it.

Peek out sometimes.

Well, where are you from?

New Jersey?

I don't know to guess that at all. You're giving me like Los Angeles High School.

Thank you, I know, but Jersey It's just such a part of me. And I'm specifically I mean my belly button ring that I'm hiding right now. That is one of the most Jerseys mount Yeah, girl, Wow, Jersey, you can't get rid of it. You can just take it out, I know. But the New Jersey in me, I mean, let it go.

Your shirt is checked in, but I do want to see it. Wow, it's Cuba Zone.

You were a real Diamonds went. That's Claire's I'm from New Jersey.

Oh my god, I freaking love that you have a belly ring.

You are?

You are so degrassi. Do you take that? Do you take do you have sex with that?

In?

Of course course take it out like.

Shut Kia Shira.

Honestly, the people who are most surprised by it are the t s a that. They're the people who, yeah, I get wanded or do you live your shirt up? No? No, but they you know, they do the pat down and they're like, oh, that's what the metal is.

They're like, oh wow, like.

Interesting in twenty nineteen, interesting, Sidney, we should get matching BFF belly rings.

Can we do that? No?

I was I got really excited.

Was Andrew, you want to come with us to get belly rings? Yeah, well, Marie, we have this tattoo. This is my first tattoo, so I might as well do another first one. I already have something together. Andrew and I will get the belly rings.

Oh my god, I've never seen one on a man, and I don't know how. I don't know.

It's perfect for the summertime, it is.

Yeah, it's the right moment. Well, actually you should get it during the fall or winter because the healing process isn't fun and you want to go swimming in the summer. If you like to swim, you can't. If you just got a piercing, you can't swim. You're not from.

You're not so astormative and you're so helpful. That doesn't sound Jersey at all.

No, you're not wearing Jersey like South Jersey.

Central.

Okay, I don't know Jersey.

You know it's okay. I mean some people think so central and right in between north and South. That's what central means, right, But some people say central doesn't exist, but it's there. There's a there. Hating.

Yeah, they're hating the people who say it doesn't exist. Must live in South Jersey.

That's the South Jerseyans, and they're more Philly than they are in New York.

Sorry, they say, John, to be honest, Jenny, you were giving me Hollister es okay, yeah, or Abercrombie and Fitch like you work there?

Wow?

I always wanted to in high school. That would have been a cool thing to do. I was there for a summer, did you you had to I learned.

Something new about you. You know what happened. I needed a summer job, and I got a job there. I was a model QUI, yes, you have to be.

But that's what they call their sales associates. So I had to spray the restaurant. I mean the restaurant. You say this perfume?

You did tell me this?

I do.

I just buried it and then I bought it back up, so buried again. Right? So what is your background? Like, what's your what is your mom and dad?

I'm Jewish and also Italian, so I think what you're getting is maybe the Italian. I feel like be the Italian.

The last name is pretty Jewish.

It's yeah, a Russian Jewish last name, and it actually means bum like um, bum bom bomb.

Like a bum like a bum, like a bum like.

I'm begging as a boom. Yeah, Gorlic is a bum.

Oh you're the you're the Jewish Aladdin.

I am the Jewish Ala street rat. Yes, yes, that is exactly what I am. You know Kenny G. The Floutest also Kenny Gorland.

My man. The G stands for Corlic.

Yes, you're a man. Kenny G is actually Kenny Gorlic. No relation, but he's I'm not.

Oh my god, I love I know.

I love knowing this too.

Yes, I'm screaming right now.

Yeah, because I want him to perform a memorial.

I would memorial, Yes.

Sydney, if I live, if I live longer than you, I will make sure that happens.

I thank you, will, Yeah, I will.

There's got to be some type of relation. Y'all are like distant cousins or something.

I don't want to do twenty three and me or any of those. I'm nervous about shows. I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. But the one reason I would be interested is that I do want to know if I am in fact related to Kenny G. Even a little bit.

That's crazy. You know what, Kenny Girlic don't sound right Kenny G. For a long time, I was like, oh yeah, nigga, And then I was like, who is this white man? But Maham is very curly.

It's like Slash. You know, Slash is half half black?

Yes, he is. Slash the guitarist is half black. You're a liar.

Oh my God, said you're gonna make me look this up. I thought I thought maybe Slash and Kenny G were brothers.

Wow. Also I thought his last name was just G.

I know, yeah, he was the certificate g g G Kenny G.

The more you fucking know on the unofficial.

Expert, yeah you learned something.

But now, how did you know his last name was Gorlic?

You gotta look the stuff up. When your last name is Gorlic, you gotta get into it. You gotta know what you're like.

So you went on Google and you're like famous Grolics.

Yeah, Kenny Jams and of course Kenny is the main one. Also a lawyer who she's in the New York Times a lot because she represents a lot of Trump people. Yi, I know, so there's a lot of uh, miss grlic. Fuck. I know that ruined day. I'm sorry. I know, I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to bring that up. I'm really I I apologize sincerely and deeply from the bottom of my heart.

Okay, so you're Italian Jewish. You obviously still cool with your family. Yeah, and your father, Yeah, I feel like you call him every other week.

Well, my dad and I are very close. I know.

Yeah, that's his mom, Ola. She's a costume designer. She made clothes for Jenet Jackson and a bunch of other people. Kenny not Kenny g slash slash slashes Mom.

I know it looks like dark skin viv. My dad actually he asked me for dating advice, which I think is very funny because my parents are divorced.

Okay, so what kind of advice did you give your dad?

So he he's dating someone new, a younger woman. Uh, yes, she is kind of a younger woman. And first, I mean, so he tried the apps and he really didn't like the apps. He was like, you know, Jenny Tinder when you're he's sixty. So Tinder when you're sixty is like a lot of young women who seem like they just kind of want his money.

Do we have a lot of money.

Uh, you know, the divorce hurt urn him a little bit, but like, yeah, I mean, see you there's some money. There's some money in the grolic pass. We were bums, but we've you know, we've come up from there.

You're thriving.

You're thriving now, the girlics are thriving. So on. On Tinder, he was mostly finding a young woman who want his money, much like myself. So he was like, I'm good, I don't need that anymore.

Damn a sixteen year old on Tinder, But you can set the agent, you see.

Yeah. But women who are interested in finding an older man for that reason, I think, yeah, they mess with the mess with the ages. Yeah, if they want the money. If you want to be a sugar baby, you will do whatever you need to in order to make.

That happen, no matter how low the balls are.

My big account is also low.

So.

I hate thinking about that in context of my dad. Sorry, mister g Sorry, uh okay. So he was set up with a new person her name is Alyssa, by a mutual friend.

Lees sounds like she's too young for him, Like she wear crop tops.

No, no crop tops. I don't want to say to my knowledge. So she they've been on like four dates and you haven't met her though I have not met her. Four days is too is like that's too early? Yeah, And she recently planned a date for him where she invited him over and they were gonna watch A Star Is Born and and she made him dinner and then movies.

I would never fucking be in a relationship and see a start, Where does your dad stand?

On Netflix and Chill?

So the thing is like that he's not of a generation that they watched the movies if you know, yeah, if the movie come on Sleep, Yeah, he's watching the movie the original.

Netflix and Chill was like drive ups driving. Yeah, they would be.

In the car like fondling people while movies were on the screen, right, yeah.

Okay. So she invited him to Stars Born.

Stars Burn at her house, cook him dinner, and her teenage sons at their dad's. Okay, okay, And my dad was like, you know, that's that seems like a good That's a good sign, right, Like that's a good sign. And you know, I didn't say this to him, but like for me, it's like, okay, all signs point to like Alyssa wants to fuck dad. That's this is gonna be the.

Day you had a conversation.

Uh No. I was like, that is a great sign, and like, you know, don't He asked me like, and is it okay to get romantic over text?

And you're Kenny g come on, I know.

And I was like, Okay, do you mean like sexting? Because absolutely not until like you've actually had sex and then like, let's reassess so.

You're not trying to say some sexy text before He okay, yeah, Well.

He's like, what is the timeline? Because his name is Greg.

I love Greg, Greg Jack Greg. Yeah, you like black girls. I don't know that means no.

I don't know that means hell. And I'm really I don't know.

That the devil is not welcome.

I don't know if he's ever dated a black woman.

That means no, Jenny, we get it, we get it.

Your dad hates us, freaking.

Greg Maria is famous. No, I will ask. I'm not commuting to New Jersey.

I know it's not worth it in a boat this summer.

So does your dad have a boat.

He doesn't have a Boat's right, but no swimming. I'm worried about them.

I put a life vest on top of a case. I'll put a bubble vest on top of a tuky and just like and do pad because that's hot, right, Men like girls that doggy paddle.

I would love to see you in a floating bitch.

That's I was drowned wearing a floating once at the y m C.

Anyway, let's be the here nor there. Yeah, so I'm just what happened with stars born?

So he told me, Dick, I don't know, he didn't tell me that, but I know it's definitely gotten a little more serious. But he is worried now that he's not sure that he wants to, Like, he doesn't know if she's the right person.

He didn't get hard.

I didn't know you couldn't get hard.

That's what that means.

I mean, you're city, we want You're right.

Well, let's get into your dating history. Let's talk about it. Now, what movie you putting? What's your go to film to put on for.

That's a great question. I feel like, well, it's got to be something that we don't actually want to watch. The TV show I think like one of the best things to watch is like Santa Clarita Diet, Like I don't want to watch that?

Yeah? Is that that Drew Barrymore?

When Wow, we could get.

Through maybe two minutes. Then we're like, okay, now it's the chill part is over.

We got a movie. We got a movie for you to put in, super Flaw.

Okay, put it in literally thirty seconds and you're gonna be like.

The fuck.

Because because she's a boring Andrew, she's a freak.

Sorry, I seem like a little angel, but I'm a little freak.

I don't know, she's a little tikey tikey book. See I told you so. Jenny.

Wait, how many relationships have you been in, because I feel like not that many. I feel like you've had like maybe two three top series relationships.

Yeah, serious relationships really only too. But I've dated a lot of people for the like six month mark where where it's like we if it's going to end, like there's going to be a breakup involved, you know, where you're past the point where it can it's not really a breakup where it's like we have to like we're gonna break up, because it's at the point where it's either it's getting serious or it's it's done.

So you never make it to that I want you to be my girl.

Yeah, that part has not happened for me in a while.

Fuck Jenny, how long?

I'd say since college.

College for at least five years years.

It's about to be I know. So I've been dumped a lot at that Like that.

Point, Why do you think people are dumping you because you like loved too much or you don't care enough or like you to cling me?

I think it might be a little bit like my taste and who I want to be dating. That could be part of it. I feel like. I mean, also, I not just to blame the people I'm dating. Also, definitely, you know I'm there must be something on my end, but I don't know what it is. You can't.

We'll tell you what it is. We'll figure it out.

Yeah, we'll find out, I think by the end of the podcast. Definitely what's your type? But I I love dating guys who just got out of relationships.

Like.

I just got out of prison.

I was going to say, Wow, No, I did recently date a felon. I found out after our first date felon, white collar crime, drug dealer when.

He was So you had a Latin.

Or a black Sorry, ladies, half Asian anyone can be. I'm here for his mugshot was very hot. That's do you have one?

Do you have a screenshot?

No?

I don't have. I find it if you want.

We want to half Asian felon, that's my type.

Yeah, he I found out after our first date, so I googled him. He didn't tell me his last name before I went on the first date. Then I got his name, googled him.

How did you do that? How did you get his last name?

Because I looked in his email. We emailed about it. I asked him if I should put my drink on his tab, and then I asked him what his taps under work.

That's how you get the last name name. I'm sorry.

I feel like before we go on dates with these people, we should have their first and last name.

Yes, yes, sometimes.

You don't know not.

Yeah, so you met this guy on Tinder?

No, actually he asked me out after a show.

Right, I need the first and last name so I could do my research.

No, you're going to get was the first name?

It is actually.

Deep dick in you you don't know the first names? Shout out to him.

In the shower. You have no idea who they are and you're just taking a shower.

And I mean, yeah, I mean I think I'm crying my eyes out.

So you got his last name, you google him, van mugshot comes up or not?

Yes, I find the mugshot and then I go on the second day and I'm just like, oh what, you know what happened? And the thing is like a lot of people did shady stuff when they were you know what he was like in his early twenties.

Okay, yeah, that's what you do.

He was selling. He was selling some drugs and got caught.

That's oh, that doesn't count. How long was he in jail for?

Just for less than a month.

I wouldn't even mention it. Yeah, girl, you're not really a felon? Then no, no, well, petty petty stuff.

I was in jail for four hours, so that's basically the same thing.

Yeah, okay, you didn't know you were sitting with a felon.

You didn't know that. It's not on my.

Record, right, If it's not on your record, then it doesn't count.

Because I painted off baby? Yeah, baby, Jesse?

Is that you?

Ye?

Jesse?

That guilty and that guilty. I mean, if it's not on your record, then it doesn't count. It didn't happen.

Okay, so you went on a second day with him, what happened? He was like, even though he a fella, he's like, ah, I just don't think you're the type of girl I want.

Actually, in this case, I we. It was like kind of a mutual, like we're not going to see each other anymore after the second date. I think we did. We did, but then but there was no third date.

It was just kind of like, okay, I think that's sex was trash.

It was fine, but it wasn't like we don't want fine. No one wants to legary great, it's just be great.

We are too old and too young to be having fine sex.

No, we're too old after twenty two twenty after twenty three, twenty four, I shouldn't be having sex.

That's just fine. Yeah, it should be good. If it's trash, you can go. Yeah.

Also, don't call me, don't text me. You can still likewise the full on the graund but you might get blocked.

Oh blocked. Well, that's fine.

So that happened. That happened. That wasn't necessarily like a being dumped. One just came up because it was your latest dump my latest, are your or your worst dumped? Two separate? Two separate? Okay, latest, We've been dating for about five months. I get a text that says, hey, do you want to get a coffee?

So, but that could mean anything absolute. No, I'm never asking anybody that I'm intimate with let's go get a coffee, unless it's like a business meaning.

If you're in the neighborhood.

You know what I mean.

Like if I'm if we're in the neighborhood and I'm like, hey, you got out.

Of work, Oh, do you want to grab a coffee? Like, that doesn't necessarily mean I mean, I'm not going to ask you to get a cofee with me, but because I don't drink it and I'm not paying. But also like, it doesn't necessarily mean you're about to get done.

It don't sound good. No, I think it's only a bad sign if you've been dating someone, because like we've we've coffee is spontaneous. You don't like plan that we're going to just go get a coffee right now. Even lunch, maybe you would plan like, hey, do you want to get lunch? That might not mean not a to me, do you want to get a coffee, says that it's gonna be I feel like.

To be sure, I just I feel like five months of dating somebody, I'm not breaking up with it. I'm just not gonna hit Does does that make sense? I'm a ghost you after five months?

Are you?

I'm not one. I'm not gonna get a coffee. You're tacky?

Yeah, I think.

Andrew, you got to break up with somebody after five months? A you're just gonna kind of like if it fizzles out, it fizzles out.

Oh wowny.

We can't even talk to you.

You're black, I mean. So he texted me and said, do you want to get a coffee? So I texted him back. I was like, are you going to break up with me? That's what I tell you.

You're very aggressive. I don't think so that's aggressive.

No, But then had coffee and you immediately thought that WoT something bad.

But I waste my time over a front.

Then we'll go get you get your little cappuccino latte.

I was. I was at work. I was like, I'm not going to leave work to then get dumped. Like tell let's like, tell me I'm not.

Clocking out for I'm not. Yeah, I'm not using my break lose money is ours.

No, I wouldn't have lost money, but like.

I don't I would get dumped while getting paid at the same time.

Yeah, but I don't want to. I don't want to come back to the office being sad. Yeah, I don't want to, like, you know, tell me what is happening.

So what happened?

So he was like, can I call you?

If I say, are you about to break up with me? And you hit me with a cannot call you?

The answer is no.

I went. I was like, yeah, let's talk it out on the I was like, let's talk it on the phone.

So you want to get dumped on the phone at work, that's what you're saying. So I left my offe on land line. I didn't take it on the landline.

I did.

I took a quick break out of the office, took the call. We talked it out, and he was just kind of like, I don't think I'm actually ready to be in anything right now, and I've been feeling kind of like I've been feeling bad about holding on to this, and so I wanted to talk. I felt random that he wanted to tell me. Then in the middle of.

The day on like a Tuesday, after y'all just had anal on Sunday, right, yeah, yeah, it's.

An on Sunday right the end of the.

Week Thursday, Friday only.

Because you do not want to break up on a Saturday, right, No, no way, no, nobody breaks up on a Saturday.

But often they break up on a Tuesday.

That is that you do you break up during the week. You got to get it out early so that in the rest of your week you could just.

Do what you're gonna do.

Yeah, exactly, you gotta keep it.

So I did take the call. We you know, I was upset, like I was bummed out?

Did you So? Do you think it was a situation where you liked him more than he liked you?

Yes?

I think it definitely was, And I think that happens. What did you do? What do you mean?

It's just like on the phone with him? What did you have?

No?

So, no, I'm saying that what do you do to make someone know that you like them more than I think?

I'm just very open and honest about when.

You start, you gotta start lying.

Yeah, do you think?

Yes? Lie, men don't deserve the truth. Lie.

I think you should be like, yeah, so you know some other some other suitors were hitting me.

Up and right when they when they message you, you got to hit them with the day later be like sorry, I was at this other dude, Yeah, I don't hear my phone, Adam had my I love my phone at Adam's house.

Yeah, who you don't go out all right? Like sorry a friend? Yeah?

Yeah, I think I may be too honest about how I'm feeling.

But that's not what's shalt of yours.

If you're if from the very beginning now, are you looking for a boyfriend or you just trying to.

Date right now? I feel like I'm trying to date, but I'm very open to right having you know, I'm open to it. I would I would love if it felt like this is a good thing, Like I'd love to have a boy. Note.

You got twelve fucking shows that you produce. How do you have time to date relationship?

They be at the shows?

Yeah, I guess they have to come to all my shows.

You produce a lot of comedy.

Friends, you're doing comedy and producing common when do you have time?

You got a day job? Yeah, I think they have to just maybe be my biggest fan. Then no, Yeah, I don't want to tell them. I don't want you to come to any of my shows, not a one. No I live.

If I look and I see you at a show and I didn't tell you could come, I'm gonna.

Be pissed off.

Oh I hate that.

I'm just like, we'll be right back after this break.

We're gonna take a quick intermission, and then I'm coming up to you to be like, what happened? You got fired? Did you forget that I do things here? You need to leave, no security, I'll.

Have you escorted out. Put it on your job.

Honestly, that's fine. I feel like it's good to be honest. Again, we're too old to be playing those now.

You should be honest just so like, hey, you know, I'm not looking for a boyfriend.

I'd be open to it.

If this was, i'd be I'm open to it though, but like you know, let's see what's going on here. But does that mean when you're dating these people, you're dating the exclusively.

You're not dating I'm dating other people at this time generally.

But as soon as you're saying that, like yeah.

And I mean that's and that is clear to them but then it just feels like especially because you know, if you've been dating for that period of time and it's consistent, you know, at a certain point you're like it, I I'm not going to ghost someone at that point, I feel like I owe it to themat.

She has no heart that has met.

I feel like it's at the point where it's like we have to talk about if we don't want to be seeing each other like this anymore. And like I feel like the people I'm dating they at least give me the courtesy of that too, Like, but if we're.

Dating a bunch of different people, both of us, then like, why do I gotta tell you that you're not on the rosta no more?

You know That's what I'm thinking.

Well, because you've got to let go of some people that are on the bench, Marie.

Yeah, you can't just be like, have somebody else in the spot on that bench that they've been sitting for a minute, Right, But.

If you've been benched, you know that you're ban.

Yes, if I haven't been hitting you up, well you hit me up and I'm saying, oh I can't tonight, or I'm like I'm busy this weekend, or I was taken me longer to respond you know that I'm not feeling you no more.

Or cut them from the team though, sometimes just cut them from the team. Let them know that they're not on the team anymore. They can go be on another team. Yes, we want to play, We want to play the game.

We don't even know what sport we're talking about it. I have no idea about baseball. Yeah, I was thinking of basketball. What sport were you thinking? What you were saying?

European football?

Football? Football with a U football. So hold on, what was your worst breakup? Because I want to feel like.

That's not that bad.

No, I feel like everybody.

That was my most recent. Yeah, that was my most recent. Not so bad.

You went back to work still, somebody's learned from the fridge and you finished your year shift.

Yeah, and it was you know, and it was totally fine. And I just and I didn't have to go sit across from him at a coffee shop and be like, why are we talking about this? Right yere right, you know, because I never want to do that.

So he wanted to meet you in the middle of the day.

I mean he does, he don't have no job, Yes, Marie, that's also a problem.

So you should have been cutting him loose in the beginning.

You know you're and I've learned that now, did you?

Because the way that you're talking, I feel like you might still date like a little djism comedian.

I know I need to stop being interested in comedians. Pray for me. I love people who are entertainers.

Yikes.

I know, yikes. I went on a date with a lawyer and I was so bored.

They are bored something else.

They're literally fighting for random causes left and right.

They get paid a lot, but it's a lot of researching.

It's a lot of people telling them what the fuck to do, and then they got to fight for me.

It's a lot.

Jenny, I see you with like a finance dude. Really yeah, a young kind.

Of like Brilly.

Okay, it doesn't look like she does coke though, so I couldn't see.

No, no, no, no, Jenny.

Only on special occasions.

She has a little alone necklace. She has one of those cool whiles of cocaine. I see it.

I feel that only when you know we're celebrating specially, So every your birthday is every month with the show, So every month at least.

You don't get the cocaine energy here.

Absolutely not.

Jenny is the type to be chatty just cuz you know what I mean, you have high energy up top.

I know it does nothing for me.

When I see you, I'm like, I was like, okay, hold on one second, I just woke up. Jenny does always have on the little crap top moment you do you love a little because you got a little body.

Thank you, so you got body though, you gott b a w D y.

Wow, thank you. I'm exactly the same on cocaine as I am not on cocaine. I'm the same right now. I might as well be. This is you know, same nge.

I mean, since you know this is the same space if you want to cocoa head. No, I mean Andrew might judge you a little bit, but we're not gonna judge.

You know.

I think I'm fine.

Just a little bump afternoon, just a plain spring bump, just the.

I probably not one of my words to break up.

Let's bring it back.

Thanks. One of my worst breakups was over email.

He hit you with a warm regards.

He didn't even know how to sign off, so he didn't need just to dash his initial so I love a dashing an initial.

Though he didn't hit you with a sincerely spelled wrong, not a love not yours, truly, those would have been weird too.

What do you.

Say you hit you with a keep in touch? Do you have that email?

Yes?

Pull it up? Okay, I want to know what's the tea?

Who?

Like? Who was he? What job did he have?

First of all, he is a magician.

You dated a wizard?

Yeah?

Did Harry Potter broke up with you?

Yeah?

I got annoying.

I can't dumped by Gandalf. So David Blaine Absolutely not David Blaine. I would never Chriss Angel.

Chris Angels seemed like mom h Christ Angel's kind of hot girl.

But he doesn't wash his hair, so that's true.

Girls, well that's the match trick. He still gets pussy.

I honestly, I love magicians though I love being amazed. You know, I love being wowed. If we're gonna date, like, you're better amazed?

So you like guys that were capes in the bedroom? Just like to make this beer?

Yeah? Do you a little bit of a burlesque number for me?

No?

No, I'm looking at Chriss Angel right now. He spells Chris with two s's. Okay, oh, this is Johnny Capelus eight hairstyle he got here is.

This?

Cannot please speak to the manager.

You might date a black man that's a and he stay in a Walmart. When we post this, we need to put the photo of Chris Angel. Yo, yo, Chris Angel looks crazy. Listen if you google Chris Angel right now and the first image that is that one of the talking about.

Oh God, speak to a manager. Yeah, he's he said, he takes.

He's got a micro Core's bag, coach boots, he wears eggs in the summertime.

Wait, Jenny, if you can't find the email.

I just found it. I mean I just found it. So it's this length, that's like, no, it's double space.

Hit us with the first pagraph and the very last yes, yes to whom would make concerns.

Okay, So the subject is high, Jenny. So we from the get go, it's like, what is this going to be? I hope a link to something funny, you know that's what that should be.

Probably you and you're like, it's not.

It's not a link, not an article. Okay, Jenny. I wanted to write you and say a few things that have been on my mind. Sorry for the impersonalness of an email. Just thought it would be the right forum to make sure my words ended up in the right order. So it starts pretty.

Form what what does this?

Oh, he's a magician using the word forum form.

Okay, and then it ends with I like spending time with you. This is not there's no chemistry message. I enjoy getting to know you and being in your company. I think you're super smart and talented.

Bush right, Yeah, how old is this man?

He's older.

He sounds like he's forty two.

He's not forty two, but he's definitely.

Yeah.

I love to be in you, but I don't want to be with you, right, I'm saying the notion of things continuing and possibly getting serious and deeper is a lot for me right now. So and it kind of goes divorce. Yeah, not a divorced man, but just that's too much. I know it was just a lot.

But not how things with this dude before this? Like, did to catch you off guard?

Yes?

I was surprised. Everything was good.

You was making chicken TetR zini one night.

It was like we are.

Going on dates. We're like, yeah, we're going on dates. It's really nice, like we're hanging out. I spending a lot of time in an apartment. It wasn't It was a little shorter than was shorter?

What are you saying? Short?

The amount of time we were in the Relation show.

I was like, are you going dick shame him?

I'm not going to dick shame him. No, if you're gonna.

Dig shame somebody, this is the podcast, this is Yeah, are open? So you want to call in to dick shame somebody?

That was the time. Oh yeah, I would feel very safe to do that with you too.

But yeah, you know, we're good for it. But no, that we haven't.

We weren't even dating that long.

This was just like how long?

This was more like four months?

It was like not even so, Jinny is something around four or five months?

Yeah?

Okay, well let's let's get into it. Typically, how many dicks do you go on before you have said?

Yeah, that's a good.

Question, right, depends on the person.

I'm gonna say two.

For you, I would say two or three is probably fair. But sometimes you meet someone and you're like, I want to have sex with this person immediately.

You know, now, yes that's true, But do you think that that is?

That's it's okay to do that, because there's this thing like, if you really like somebody, you should make them.

Wait, who is that nineteen eighty five?

Right?

Yeah, because it's little house on the prairie.

Look, that's not necessarily the case here, oh Marie.

You be giving it up on a first night after.

A lad since I'm not going on any dates. Honestly, I have no one to give it to. It's just we can change that. Listeners soon.

Lines are open. So are my legs? They're closed? Okay?

So, uh because I because Michelle, because I'm and I this is like the second time this week that I brought her up. But she met her husband and on the first night they had sex, and then she tried to ghost him and he just kept getting her up and now they're married and they had twins.

Yeah, imagine this is Michelle Obama. Michelle what's her middle name? Elizabeth? Yeah, Elizabeth Laverne Cox Obama.

You're a mess Obama. Okay, so you meet the person you like them.

But now the first date.

If you have said to somebody on the first date, that just means that you want to have sex with them, not that you want to be in relationship with them.

Generally yes, I would say yes, but I feel.

Like if you really want to be with some my long term, you shouldn't give it up on the first night.

But but you don't know, I'll be about to spray perfume in the studio race sorry the windows clo wow wow listeners if you could see the file of perfume that she pulled out to spray her whole body down.

So sorry.

I'm just glad I caught it in time, because usually I don't. Okay, So second or third date, you have sex with these person?

Yeah?

Now are you super honest? Are you the person? Are you like they wake up and you watching them sleep?

That's sure?

Yeah, I'm like yeah, I'm I'm standing over them just being like I've been watching you sleep for hours, that's me. No wedding dress, yeah yeah, and I'm wearing my wedding dress and like the priest is there No, No, I think I just if I like someone, I'm very honest about that from the get go, I'd say, just because I'm not going to waste my time with someone that I don't like too, right, and you should not, Yeah, sinny as you mentioned I'm very busy, so I want

He likes to be on Tap? Do you want to be on Tap America's next Time?

Yeah? Short season changed my life.

Got it, love it? List it.

I'm not understanding what's wrong. I feel like you seem fun, you seem.

Like somebody like your energy doesn't feel intense.

I mean again, I think so this magician also had been and this magician had also been in a relationship right before we were in one, too, Like I think that's a lot of it is that people who are just not ready. And I think I'm so consistent and like.

Following up, following up, just checking in to see what time. It's a shitty magician. If he had to write you that long ass email, you could have made his whole ass disappear.

Right, magicians can just disappear.

How did you respond to that email.

I called him.

Let me talk to you for a moment. I'm not fucking writing you back.

Yeah, we won't handle this on a fucking phone like grown up adults like twenty something?

Did he did? He?

Like?

Break? What's up?

Because somebody who writes emails just bad at communicating, right.

They don't want to face the real deal.

He's scared of conflict. Yeah, clearly that's what it is. Yeah, which is also why he plays tricks. Probably plays tricks, plays tricks, trick, he plays tricks.

So why are you looking for anything real with someone who's like that's the whole jibt?

You know, the wizard. You can't marry a wizard.

You're right? I mean, I just but I, as I mentioned, I love to be amazed. I love to be wowed. So so he was just pulling cards out, you pussy?

Yeah? Was this your card?

Yea queen of hearts? Isn't do you recognize this? I think it's a ten diamond? Is that.

Look a joker? A joker card?

I don't.

I don't know.

So yeah, I just I who's to say?

How did you up with people? Yeah, let's get into that.

Okay, If I'm breaking up with someone. I'm usually pretty clear about it. I generally I'm not going to schedule. There hasn't been anything serious enough for me to schedule, Like we need to see each other in person to do this, but definitely a phone call, definitely a I just think this isn't the right thing for us. Like I don't think it's working out.

Is that how you say it?

You gotta be like that, like kind of nice and loose. Hey, I don't really think Can you just be like this is not working for me?

Yeah? I mean it's like it's like, yeah, it's not really working and you know, like, let's stay friends. If I mean that, If I don't mean that, I'm not.

Going to say that. Would you possibly mean that.

Sometimes we do stay friends if it hasn't been like, if it hasn't been that, okay.

Mm hm, shouldn't you stay friends with your excess?

I mean, i'd be following me on my Instagram and shit, and uh, you know, I I've recently, I've seen a few. I don't I wouldn't say that we're friends, say that we're cordial. And because I'm famous, I mean, they can't not see me and see what I'm doing and whatnot.

And then I see them taking the bus, so it's like, oh, you know, I run into them.

Look at the fans, I mean the exes, I mean the friends.

But yeah, I think an adult would say, Hey, I'm gonna be fine if I see you in person, but we're not friends.

I'm not trying to text you, right. I had an ex ask me about working at a job that I was working at. You wanted to DJ and I thought that was weird.

Yeah, cause I don't think you should be in You shouldn't be purposefully trying to be in the same room. But if you are in the same room, I'm hoping that it's gonna be fine.

Like we're all gonna be okay with that. We're never okay with it.

Yeah, I don't want the fund. Yeah. And then side, it's like you could just, you know, move across the country and I could never think about you ever again, and that would be great. Like break up.

You got to move out of New York, dude, Yeah, what the fuck are you still here for?

Yeah? I was here first.

It's my city, right, and not even the West coast either, because we know that you're thrive on the West.

It's one of the square dry states.

Right, Yeah, you can either go like Midwest or you have to like go across the ocean, like I want an ocean in between us.

I think you need to live in Alaska if we break up, Adrian, if you're listening to this, I know you're not. But if we break up, I'm saying, I keep the house, even though it's in your name, Adrian, you don't have.

To move this.

We still need you to DJ and that's more important than Sydney's comfort for the shut up the audience, having.

A Alaska is a nice place to live. They have a lot of land.

They give you a subsidy or a tax break. You get five thousand dollars a month if you live in Alaska.

I heard.

Yeah, something I learned this week. They need people to live there.

They need people to live there.

It's beautiful.

Let's let's do like a summer and when is it warm there?

I don't know.

Let's figure it out and then let's like move to Atlanta for a month. M hm, you can make five thousand dollars.

I've had a worse breakup than that. Yeah, I believe I've had. My breakup was like I had gotten pregnant and the guy broke up with Yeah, he.

Broke up with me because wasn't his baby.

I wouldn't have the baby, and I want to tie the baby and that I don't know who he was. I don't know, but I told him you didn't know.

I didn't say that.

That's why I was terrible as a straight person. That's exactly why I was not meant to be with a man.

Because babies. Yeah, yeah, I couldn't figure it out.

They're messy babies.

But he broke up with me, and then he came to the clinic and to like, I feel like as a as a scare tactic.

Like to convince you to not to keep having an abortion.

Yeah, rude. Yeah, it was completely across crossing a line. R That's definitely, that's crossing all the lines. Definitely, especially because like he broke up with you, he's done right, Like my hanceled, he's done by way.

In my mind, he was poor. He brought me crackers, so I was like, you don't have to go just.

Yet, but yeah, I did need a snack, so thank you.

It was annoying because they say not to do this on an empty stomach.

Yeah, okay, so I didn't thank you for the snack.

I almost was like, should I have a kid?

And then I was like, no, no magics crackers for some for some.

Townhouse crackers, for some saltine crackers.

They were oh no, you can't have a baby for saltine.

And they were definitely the the individually wrap ones.

Okay.

Yeah, so he was also like the little tiny pack. It was a restaurant.

It was the stuff that you get like soup at a restaurant. So it wasn't even like you bought a.

Boat for me.

Yeah, you just had them at the house without the soup.

No soup, without the soup, no soup, just just a stale pack of crackers.

Oh my god. Yeah, that's horrible. That is trash.

You care.

It's so much better that you're no longer dating.

I know. I'm out the game and I love it. Yeah, Paul love it. I love it. Paul love it?

Who Paul?

I don't know who?

I love it?

Who?

We don't know?

That is, we don't know him, we don't know her. So I mean, do you have any tips for people who might be dealing with a breakup?

How do you get over a breakup?

I think cry as much as you want to. First, crying is important.

To do it.

Not at work, No, try not to at work. But you I mean cry at home, cry with your friends. You're allowed to cry at bars sometimes. I think that's fine.

Are you allowed to I think you're allowed to cry the subway sometimes.

Yeah, subway is a great place to People see you.

Crying on the train. They will leave you alone.

Yeah, they're not going to talk to you or bother you. You can cry in public parks, that's a nice place to cry. Yeah, so yes, definitely cry. Definitely lean on your friends, like that's great moment to go. Have fun with your friends as much as possible. Definitely do that. And then I think probably have sex immediately.

Okay, with wet or whom some right, with wet.

Someone hot and fun, someone the hotter and the more fun, the better.

But that's what you that's all you should be banging is hot and fun.

Yeah, that's not possible, but that's what you should be banging in the first place.

I know you saying that, but it's not that simple.

But she said, Okay, she's saying to get over somebody, you gotta bang somebody hot and fun. Yeah, but shouldn't you have been banging the hot and fun person in the first place.

No, you can't help who you like.

Yo, Like, I've seen what i want on the vision board, and then I've seen what to send in.

The fucking bed. Is this that's what happens? Man?

You can't help who who your heart wants. I have eyes and then my heart has none.

Heart is blind. Your heart, heart is blind, heart is blind.

Your mind.

Yeah, yeah, that's what it is. Honestly, I think people should fuck more ugly folks.

Okay, why Yeah?

The first of all, ugly people know how to smash because they know nobody's looking at them.

So it's all about the actual movement, right.

Feel like there's there's a hole in that logic though, because ugly people are having less sex, and that's what you say, their technique is not.

That's what I.

Feel like.

The way that you got to I don't think is right.

But maybe there's something to prove. I think maybe you have something. If you have something to prove, you're gonna try harder.

Yes, you're gonna try harder. But if you're out of practice because you ugly, then you're rusty. Your hips need oil, you know, what I mean, like, you don't really know how to do it.

You're just like getting more validation from this is true.

Compliments.

Ugly people give the best compliments.

And we need compliments to survive, right.

If you want me on, I need compliments. Also, I need a caterade, I need a juice.

I need some crackers. They could be the soup crackers. They don't even need to be a sleeve.

I need a sleeve of oreoles.

You're a mess.

I can't okay, so you're saying, cry and then sleep with somebody as fast as you can.

Yeah, I think sleep with someone sooner rather than later, so that you're not like I'm never gonna have great sex again, Like, no, go get better sex right away, which is the thing that sometimes I feel when I've just been dumped. I'm like, oh, but I really liked having consistent sex. It's like, no, girl, you can do that on your own. You don't need it.

But I think that's why.

We stay longer than we should. For the consistency. Yes, but it's like, it's not that my bank.

Account is inconsistent.

What the fuck?

It's like, why you want consistency? It doesn't make any sense.

But I think that you should get booked immediately after you get a dumb Then the thing that makes a breakup better is getting a job, getting a job, being successful working, But we don't show that.

Yeah. The unfortunate thing about getting booked is that, you know, if I could, I get booked every single day. If I could, I want to get booked right now. If I could, I would get booked this minute. But it just doesn't. You know, it's no one's calling me. I don't know if no one's calling me.

Right now, I'm like, it's the Wi Fi out way.

Yeah, Like what's going on? Do I have no service? Like, no one's calling me to book me this moment?

So right, a million and this is true.

You know, but I agree. I agree. The best thing possible to happen right after getting dumped is to like.

Be on a billboard, yes, to do things.

Yeah, yeah, to go do things, to be on TV that'd be good.

Or or go to Michael's. Get a poster, like a fake poster of you being in a movie. Post it near where your ex used to live, and so he thinks or she thinks that.

You you're killing it. Yeah, put it on a bus honestly, put it on a bus.

I think it's brilliant.

Yeah, I think that'll be my pilot.

Put in your pilot. I love it. Put it in my pilot.

I After I get dumped, I do this whole campaign that I got in some type of movement movie and make like twenty posters in the neighborhood of wherever my ex is, and so.

What She'll walk out and be like.

Oh wow, I didn't see a commercial for this, But you're just gonna run up and like pay stay on a bus.

Yeah.

Yeah, so you can have like a fake sex in the city.

Yeah, I can't. That would win.

That's winning, right. Will make a website, anyone can make a website.

Personally, it's too heartbroken.

Yeah, but I mean post. I love to social media stock my exes.

Yes, of course. You got to make sure they're doing bad after they leave.

Yeah, you gotta know.

Have you seen anybody recently? You're like, fuck man?

Yeah, Well one of my favorite ex dumpings. Yeah, my favorite dumping is good. Dumping was in Bryant Park.

Okay, it was actually really nice.

It was like beautiful outside. We were both kind of emotional and sad about it. In a way. That was nice. Who don't it was his decision.

Oh Jenny, good god, I know.

I feel like you're holding back from assist. Are you doing You're doing the bedroom? Are you taking pictures?

Sleep? You a terrible given them diarrhea? What's happening?

No, he was another person that got out of a long term relationship a little bit before we started. He wasn't ready. And then the thing is an awful thing that I saw on social media recently is that he's back with his ex. That's what that is. So that's what that is.

Rebound.

I was a rebound. I think often probably the problem is I am a rebound, but I'm very hopeful, Like you're only the rebound if it doesn't work out, you know, so look at you.

Being all positive.

I'm positive that that is wrong. I'm sure that that is wrong.

Really, yeah, Marie, maybe you were me.

I mean no, no, I'm definitely for sure me, but I am not blind. I feel like, if if this keeps happening to you around the same time and you're attracted to the same types of people, then you got to make a lifestyle change.

I know, I definitely do. I have to make sure life I gotta stop. I gotta go find one of those nice finance guys you were describing that I hope.

Be boring too. But at least they'll cook for you and buy.

This is to the listeners. If you know anyone, send them, send them my way. You know that's what I have to.

Well, we be like, we just listen. I don't know. I don't think I want to. I'm not sure. We don't know. We have no idea. I don't know. I mean, are you good at giving gifts?

I'm great at gifts? Yeah, you do.

You seem very thoughtful. Everything is planned out. I feel like you're really good at at making dinners, or at least attempting to make a dinner attempt.

Yes, I am not an incredible cook, but I will definitely.

Make sure a roast chicken out how it's gonna taste, It's gonna be roasted at least.

Yeah, there was a little, There was effort put in.

I tried.

I felt like you put sprinkles on stuff a lot.

I do love sprinkle I have energy for sure. No, I will be like, I'll be so supportive and thoughtful, and I can plan a incredible trip. I'm so good at that. Hopefully they are.

Oh, you're like, just give me your card and.

I'm getting ready to book the tickets and what's your what's your card info?

If you ask it real direct like that, they'll be caught off guard and Nilla is give it. You've done that. God, ready to book everything? What's your card?

And po, just send me a picture of your car that's a security coat on the back.

One two recent, this is recent.

Do you do you get Do you get along with people's friends?

Yes? Yeah, I do.

Actually, so nobody has fought for you, because that's no way. I've definitely broken up with somebody and I know that their people are letting it.

Like what was with Sidney? She was great?

Well, I've had friends say, you really should have been dating our friend, like he's not great, Like I had friends friend before, but.

We've already decided you like bums. What is your type?

What did you say was your type? Well?

I definitely like I think physically, what are you attracted to?

Physically? What am I attracted to?

Tall?

Sure, definitely tall. I I like a conventionally handsome man. I don't know what that means, you know, like like tall, dark and handsome.

You know who's your celebrity crush?

Uh? Right now? I I'm trying to think if there's anyone that I'm super like, he's the guy for me. Right now?

You seem like a like a Timothy Shallow char Ma's He's so.

Cute, but he's a little too cute, you know, he's a little So.

You want somebody with like a lazy eye. Now she wants somebody with like a hoop nose.

Yeah, like a like a little ugly No, like a more like a Chris Hemsworth, like more like a like masculine, Yeah.

Like a thor girl. That magician that he was dating did not look like.

No, he absolutely did not. Okay, he absolutely did not, but he did. I I also like, I love a beard on a man too. He had a really nice beard, Andrew.

No.

I was like, do you to see if he had a beard? Yeah? Yeah, no, you probably can. Yes, Well, you know some of us are maybe when he hits puberty.

I don't know any day now, it could be any day, Andrew, it's coming.

It's coming. Just give it time. A I don't know if I can help you, Jenny. Yeah, but after this episode.

I'm gonna keep her eye out.

I'm gonna take you under my wing.

Thank yoush as mean ass, heavy ass wing, thick with two c's wing.

I need some of that though. I definitely need that help. I feel I do.

I feel like it's you, you do. It's you, Jenny, It's and Jenny.

If you ever want women, I can't help you other.

I'll tell you so, Okay, Jenny, let everybody know where they could catch you on the grams, on the twitters all this.

Please follow me on Instagram. That's the best way to know what I'm doing. Yeah, it's a pun. It's at Jenna Saqua, Jenny Saqua, so j E n N y c E s t q u o I Jena Siqua. That's special something.

Okay, I don't know what it is, but dumped.

Yeah, she just got that something. She's got that something that gets her dumped. Yeah.

And then on Twitter as well.

On Twitter, it's just my last name, so at Jenny Gorlic like Kenny g at Jenny Gorlic.

Okay, yeah, and then you gots a show, right, Yeah, I've got a couple of.

Shows coming up. I'm about to be weekly at Baby Grand green Point with a new show with Zach t o c you Zach divorce Expert. We love Zach A tall, handsome man. Definitely my type. Definitely type Yeah, definitely not his type. It's called hot and Fun and that's every Thursday at eight at Baby Grand Green Point. And then I also have my birthday show a month at Union Hall.

Yep, as the show. I love it. When is your actual birthday?

December? I'm a sagittarius.

I don't even when youthday come.

I don't even celebrate it because I'm like, which were doing it every month?

I know, and you know what, I deserve that.

Yeah, yep, it's fine.

That's fine, that's fair. I I agree, But we are you?

Are you down before we go?

Is there any a final parting word you want to say to somebody who dumped you, maybe like you walked away and you were like, oh, I should have said all of this stuff, son of a beach, anything you want to get off your chest.

And it could be you don't have to name names. It could be as vague as you want it to be.

I think just I can't wait until you guys see me on a billboard and you feel really good. Yeah, that's all. That's to all of them. Blanket statement for all.

Blanket statement, wait till you see me want to get damn billboard or the side of a bus or a bus because I didn't get on so I'm holding on to the side of it.

Just try.

Bye, guys, rate, come and subscribe. See you on the Patreon.

For This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Bauham, Joe Scilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Foreverdog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify.

Or wherever you get your podcasts.

Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.