"The Gentrification Expert" with Khalid Rahmaan

Hello, Hi guys, Welcome to the Unofficial Expert Podcast with Sydney and Marie.

You know we're smart people, we know smart people. That's what this podcast is all about. The smartness. Sidney, you're my smartest friend.

Well said, no, you're not, that's not But I.

Feel like maybe I'm the smartest person that you know. That's a that's a that's a truth. No, Sydney, what were you an expert in this week? Also? Who do you know that's smarter than me? Name two friends?

You know what?

I can't? Well, Anthony, Anthony, who the Anthony Savino that I know? Yes, that's a damn love, Yes, okay? And then who else? I feel like you and Adrian are on the same I don't really Yeah, no, I don't think you're smarter than I heard. I said that I'm the smart you know what, Sidney, we don't talk about this.

Off the record.

This is on, this is off, don't.

Talk about it off the record.

I'm done talking about it right now. I can't believe you.

What was that expert in this week? More bike stuff? I've been biking more. I was biking by myself before I was biking with Adrian. Because you know, I didn't know how to bike and I fell.

But after you mean you didn't know how to bike, like you just learned how to ride a bike. No, but I haven't rode a bike in like ten years. Yeah, twelve years. That's a long time not to be on a bike, I know.

So anyway, I rode the Williamsburg Bridge, I rode the Brooklyn Bridge, almost died seventeen times.

Let's talk about those deaths. Okay.

So first of all, there's an incline on the Williamsbrick Bridge that I didn't even know of.

I thought that you just go straight straight, So as soon as you hit like two.

Minutes in, you feel the incline. And I'm on a cruising ass bike. Everybody's on these like racer ass bike. People were like racing for them their lives.

And I'm the only one like, I mean, the faster you get to the top of the hill, the faster you can coast down.

Okay, yeah, but you got to get up that incline first.

And I'm like, I mean the city, I've been on that bridge before. I feel like you talk about an incline, It's not like you going up as steep ass hills, like you go, wait, were you going up there walking? No, I've been. I've been on the train across the It's not the same. It's not the same. You've got to get on a bike. For anybody who's listening to this, if you've ever been on a treadmill and you've been on like a three number a point three incline, I

Anyway, it was the hottest day this week, and I went to your house and I went to the Brooklyn Bridge. After the bridge, I was like, yeah, getting on the train. Can't do this, can't get back to I was already.

In the city. So you were one of those assholes with a big ass bike on the train and you probably had a seat for your bike.

God.

People hated me. They hated they hated my stupid basket. Like people were rolling their eyes left and right, and then I was like, I've already rode the bike.

Let me bring the bike up the stairs. So I'm halfway.

Up the stairs and I'm struggling, and there's a guy behind me like do you want me to help you with that? And I was like, no, I got it, and I really didn't have it and I was struggling.

Sorry the feminist, you weren't trying to let him just take the bike real quick?

Well, why are you gonna ask me when I'm already halfway there?

You should because he looked like it looked like you we wasn't gonna make it the rest of the way.

It was not yo, yo.

I almost knocked twelve of my dreads off. It was crazy sis.

But then last night I was on the Williams brig Bridge and you know it's it's hard biking at night because these cars don't give.

A fuck about you. Oh you do a nighttime bike, nighttime bike by yourself? Oh I got a city bike.

Fidola yo?

You are yo? I was like, I'm ready to die. Let's do this, Yeah you are? Are you ready to die on a city bike on a Williamsburg bridge not even like a like an iconic Brooklyn Bridge. So wait, I have to get that's the best bridge to die on. I mean if in terms of when people think of New York, they don't they don't even know what the hell of Williamsburg Bridge is. They know, maybe they might know the Manhattan Bridge, they might, but everybody knows what the Brooklyn Bridge is.

Dude.

I feel like the Pulaski Bridges is a nice Don't nobody know what bridge that is? Literally just like lit up or something like that. Nobody even knows who's So.

Last night, I'm riding again on the incline or whatever, and I'm in a dress. I look crazy. Everyone is geared the fuck. Everybody has a head a helmet on.

Yeah, but you got a wee So that's that's sturdy enough for yours.

I know, these these locks have been in for like two months, so they hard as hell.

They pretty much a helmet anyway, exactly exactly, so you just gotta change the shape. Yeah.

So anyway, I'm like pushing, I'm talking to myself like I'm like you would do this, don't stop, don't stop. And I get halfway there and I kneel over to the side.

I'm like I gotta take a break. I can't.

So I thought that I was going to be the only woman on the bridge, and it was it was nothing but women going.

I was like, oh, Sidney's twenty seventeen. We got we got rights. Now we can rent bikes, we could cross bridges. I was like, y'all was just too cute to be on this bridge. Y'all ain't got no uber pool, no uber X, no lift, no go, no get. They're just trying to get their thig listen. They were just trying to get their thigh gap together for twenty seventeen. That's all I love. The like the women that were checking

But the women were like you, okay, do you need some snacks like the bitch pull?

I heard trails like you good, your your sugar's last because they've been where you've been before. You know what I mean, you got to start somewhere.

Great.

I don't have it within my you know, tone dance body to cross a bridge on a bike at night or in the daytime. But it felt good.

I was like, I'm going to keep doing this bike thing for the whole summer by wintertime, bitch, Serena Williams, Like my butt's already in a little bit bigger, you know.

I mean I thought that was from all the food.

You were.

Something that's from all the backshot. Shut up? What were you in? An expert in this week? This week, I was an expert at never wearing the right thing. Like it just got super hot here. It's officially, I guess, summer in New York City, And you know, sometimes you want to throw on a little booty short and then go to a show and then realize, oh, this is like a professional ass show and I'm the only one

Nightcam.

That sounds like a Klamsman right there. Na, Yeah, but my dress was a snake print. I think with some I think one of the heads of the Klamsman had a snake frinst clan leader clean master General. I don't know, uh, but yeah, I just I was. I was never properly dressed if I was walking really far distances. I always don't like the flattest, most uncomfortable shoes. I just so

Well, what you do is you have like you usually have you pack your bag for the day, so you have like a little sweater in there, a little giant But I've.

Been trying to carry smaller bags, like a little like a cute a cute clutch, a day clutch. Listen, I don't I don't need any of it. I don't subscribe to like purses.

I always have an overnight bag with me because you never know, you might get kicked out of your house.

Well, yeah, I mean burn down. That's why I stay prepared for anything. Well, that's why you might get kicked out. That's why Adrian's the smartest person that you know. She like, I need some time, you need to yo, I got things. I got stuff for at least three days. Sindny has two toothbrushes in her I got to I'm not even to touthbrushes. I got to tooth brushes, one for the home, one for the club. Listen, let's get into this episode. He I mean, obviously we're the smartest people that you

The warm up.

Uh, he is our gentrification expert. So you know it's gonna get real. Bill maher in here, we're gonna say nigga at least twelve times. Let's just say, let's just say it twelve times right now, to.

Give it up.

Give it up for our gentrification expert.

Clid rack My, what's up? I'm so happy to be here. This is great.

Political say your name propably is it Colitteral?

It rocked my hand, rock mount.

Now we're currently in his home.

Yes, he is crippled my falacial estate.

Yeah, he gotta he gotta gotta.

He got a pre war apartment. The ceilings are how tall you think these are? Thirteen feet?

This is a twelve feet fifteen thirteen foot situation.

Really, I don't care about your ceilings right now, let's talk about your feet.

Now. My feet are fucked up. Let me. I have not applied any cocoa butter today.

It looked like a great honor.

We have diabetes. Leg might be getting Did you see Kevin Durant's feet, But that next year that's on my feet.

Look, they are chopped up. Man, it's bad.

Even the father to Kevin Durant, it's bad.

It's really bad.

You cut your toenails.

Oh, it's been definitely before. Okay, well I reached my toeail. That's what this injury. What happened to your leg? I was walking along and I stepped in a hot hole on the sidewalk and I fell down. My knee hit the concrete, snapped my patell tendons. Wow, that's the big one in your knee. That's the a C. L. P. Potella is like the center holds your kneecap in place.

That's the same injury that Rollins has.

Wow.

But he was playing basketball at a barbecue, a bitter.

Like your son.

I was in the streets and it was trying to take my chain and I was like, nah, now.

You fell in a pothole because you probably were trying to holler at a white woman.

Now because that's possible, but it's possible. I was just not paying attention. Man.

I went down.

It was embarrassing because, like you know, able body, like person.

I was able body.

Now I'm not as big as brak.

You were walking down the street and to the biggest tendon in your that's sounds like the old person.

You know what it is. I probably already had some tears in there. So when my knee hit the concrete boom, it was it.

What kind of sneakers did you have on?

I had on and just haven't paired Jordan's. Actually it was bad.

It was you have step curries on.

The air shuffle boards. The injury sounds really under armor. You had the new balances on what it sounds like. I had the air retirement homes on. That's crazy. It was bad.

So now it's like when you hit the round, when you hit the ground, where were you in your neighbor?

I was, here's the thing is good. I was in front of the museum.

Oh.

Somebody was like, oh, the museum is in charge of those sidewalks, so you best believe a lawsuit is currently proceeding.

They were like a janitor's hurt right now.

I was in front of the museum, walking by the sidewalk by Washington and so you you was get us on your way to meet So I was on my way to do some cat sitting, actually my dog walking cat sitting business.

Yes see clip cats. My brother, what's going on? Gentrification got niggas?

I was walking along my up.

That's we gotta go.

My yoga fant saw it, Yo, you can't to some cat sitting, and then I was gonna do some. It was bad. Wait what is cat sitting? Entail?

Because cats don't need nobody, they're strong and depending feed.

The cats, make sure they got water, sit on die.

So you don't stay at the apartment. You just got by some hose over.

I got over, scoop the little box and roll out. Yeah. Yeah, it's been how much how much they pay for that catsitting? Like eighteen dollars per per visit?

Three times?

I mean people go away for weeks at a time every day.

Okay, that's cool. Listen, my friend who I will not name, has two cats.

One's names Jelly.

One's name's Jail, And she is this person who like she and her girlfriend be going to Detroit and they'd be like, well, we should see if Marie could watch the cats. But never have they offered me eighteen dollars per visit. I don't want to say who that friend is, but you know she knows who she is.

First of no one would ever ask Marie to watch anybody's animals.

She don't barely watch her fish.

Right, you know what I mean? Like, listen, Motown is thriving in that motel. That's not thank you, Junior, because her other.

The original.

I wonder how that happened.

I don't want to watch my cats. I'll come home.

One of them is missing the missing a leg. The other knee is pucked up like you them cats a struggle.

I'm not gonna lie. It's been a struggle.

So you are like you, you are crutches.

I want some long purchase. Go too long on the crutches because my leg is all stretched out. So I'm just like pretty much at home.

So wait you you are going to sue though, right, Oh I am. So you're gonna be there for a minute.

Full lawyer. I'm gonna be I'm gonna be up.

Hopefully I'll be up.

And about my legs and back and doing stuff in August. August. My whole summer, I know, my whole summer is because this is a major injury.

Well, it wasn't like was going to be in the beach or anything. He wasn't going to the Hampton's anyway.

I got summer in East Williamsburg. That's where I summer.

Cole it is somebody who looks like he got like a lot of others in his life and my others, I mean non black folks.

Yeah, that's a lot of others.

Yeah, let's talk about your history with Beije the Beige variety. Let's talk about it was the first time you met a white person that you liked?

Ready, what's funny? I have like a weird, weird history because like, I grew up in Crown Heights mostly, but my dad works for the State Department. So I also spent two years overseas in Morocco International School with French Montana,

Uh?

In Park Slope, So I had That's when I first met a lot of like white kids and I had I grew up in this neighborhood, so it's mostly black back then, but that is changing. We will get to that. Your resume is very cute.

I really appreciate your resume, but like, because you popped all around, I feel like maybe you're more acceptable to white people because you got yeah, culture and experience.

Also you know what, Also it is is like, since I've dealt with white people in my whole life, I'm not like intimidated by them at all. I'm not I don'tstify them. I don't think this is.

Either.

But I'm saying there's people, though, who you meet who were like, uh, uncomfortable around anyone who's that's.

Because we know that they'd be ready to kill like the biggest thugs in the world.

Well there's this is a thing where your people were just comfortable with everybody. And I've just been around everybody in my whole life, and Morocco was really important actually because like my friends were from Malaysia, freaking my best friends from Malaysia, San Diego, France, and.

San Diego, San Diego.

That's my crew. I mean, I feel like when I think.

In Morocco, I think of like everybody were like white linen.

But we were all like military and diplomat kids at the school. So we have friends from Moroccan as well, but we all our school friends at the school or like military brad kids who moved around all the time, you know.

So you're just doing your thing. Yeah you were privileged. Yeah, regulars.

But there's the thing.

I had two lives because over there, I was privileged because Morocco thinks dirty. We had a maide and we had a maid and a gardener. Back in Brooklyn, my mom is just no class teachers that been thirty years.

Middle class, like middle class, Saint Ship.

Yeah, we don't have no maid, no butler, we don't got no gardener.

So most people in this country don't have that, you know what I mean?

Like, but I grew up also, like when Crown Heights it was, it was hood. It was not like you know it was yeah, Crome Heights it was basically at the same time.

So it's funny that you were saying that you you don't mystify white people. I grew up in Oakland, California, and I didn't have any white friends until I moved to New York City.

I only had black and Cambodian friends. Cambodian like I have cambody younger, you change, man, what I haven't met any Cambodians here, but I that's all I knew in California. But when I moved to New York, I was like, oh, this is white people like I was never scared of them, but I also was like, why did it look like that, You've never you've never met at Cambonian Cambodian in New York, Like I met a girl with Cambodian virgin hair like me.

I feel like I had like a good high school, the high school kids who like across the street from me, whose family on welfare, footable housing everything. And then kids at my at my what do you call private school in Brooklyn in Park Slope that were like had summer homes.

They were like flying off to France and ship.

So it was like a whole like.

I had both experiences.

It was weird. It was like a yeah, but in.

Those experience, who had a cooler mom, the section night mom or exactly got.

The people one let them drink juice. The white kids. The white kids I was friends with high school. They had rooms you couldn't go into in their house like this.

Crazy what wasn't there? They like slave memorabil what sold the sambo playing cards. For some reason, I felt like the Jewish moms were the best moms. Like when I was in middle definitely made you ate. It was always always feeding me.

My mother had brought me like one of those bootleg uh puff puffer jackets for the winter, but she smoked, so there was like cigarette uh holes.

In it and everything, and so she burnt.

She she took her on the north.

It wasn't even it was a bear remember bear barely bear.

Oh shut up.

And my friend's mom bought me a new jacket and I was like, oh my god, she brought me and it was like a three hundred dollars jacket. I brought it home and my mother was like, if you don't take that damn jacket off and right back, you are embarrassing.

I was like No, the jacket that I have is embarrassing. She would not take this woman's jacket.

My mom, No one's ever bought me any like none of my friend's mom are over that cool or that that's pretty damn cool. That nice to me because you know they're side save the bullock.

No, my mom would.

My mom didn't even like when I borrowed my friend's stuff, Like I'd be like, oh, I borrowed Valerie shoes and my mom was like, my shoes here, take this off.

My mom too, Ramona wasn't playing that shop. She was just like, we have our own things.

Yes, you're in a night's school, but don't you're not gonna have people thinking we're poor. Yeah, And she wouldn't even let me spend the night.

And then eventually we went to Fire Island because my friend owned her family had a house there and.

We were on a bill and we're doing I was like, why can't I have this?

And then somebody leaned in and was like, because.

You're poor, Because you're quite poor.

Click.

Can we talk about how so you've been in Crown Heights except for those those years that you were in Morocco, you've been.

Here that in like four years in college in Boston and I a little bit of two years after Cool, So I've spent maybe like eight of my year's total of my life outside of Brooklyn. So I've been here most of the year, most of it.

So when you first, so, what's the biggest difference that you see in Brooklyn then versus Because I mean I see last saw smoke shop and I walk by.

I mean a slide from just like white people getting off the stops that you never would imagine they'd ever get off of from the subway, and I mean just like the things that opening up are so crazy, like like you guys know, I have the show electrical laughs every month. Sydney's done the show. You're gonna do the show when I come back in the fall. And that place is a coworking space we work, right, it's kind of a similar thing. Yeah, but it costs four hundred

Well, because when a couple of years ago, I heard this white lady, she was talking about her new apartment, and so I'm nosy.

So I leaned in and I was like, where are you living? She was like Bedford Stuyvesant.

I was like, you live in bedstyle. You she's this little, tiny, petite like like oblivious to She's one of these like I don't see color and like rolled up yellow matt white women. And she was like she lives in bed like the heart of bedsty and you know, fifteen years ago, twenty years ago, like they wouldn't even say.

Yeah, my mom, my mom was she moved. My mom moved to North Carolina. She retired and moved on to North Carolina. Five years ago. I tell her about what's going on. She does not believe me. She literally she's like, it is no Starbucks on Eastern Parkway. Yes, that was a house that was literally a crackhouse allowed to go past Bedford was.

So now it's a crackhouse for white people Starbucks.

But that's the thing, Like white people will turn a crackhouse into a coffee shop, like that's what they do, or bull turner.

Crackhouse into an open mic or doing comedy in the crackhouse, or don't turn a crackhouse into a boutique shop called the crackhouse.

That is true, ironically exactly, there's white people going to Narsty now, Nursey, Listen.

I don't even think about black ass.

I would never A crazy turning point for me was seeing people in Brownsville because I always associated Brownsville with like just the roughness of the rough Like I didn't go to browns when I was a kid. I still don't go to browns From like these white folks moved into Brownsville like it is no thing, that's the new hot I think that's the thing.

You need to repeat that again. Mike Tyson is from.

Used to knock old ladies over the head and take their purse in browns There are.

White people in that neighborhood now like they live listen, listen. They're in East New York, which is like really like that's like whoo, who's from East New York? Rock him?

It's like people like that, like East New York. East New York is like almost gone, Like that's rises, yeah, what if.

Dusty ass high? Right, They're like these used to be the projects and now they're the project pavilion. You can live here for just ten thousand dollars a month for this studio apartment, Clid crazy. I wanted to ask you.

I feel like, even though you're you know, you date white women, you you're friends with them, how does it feel to like see the gentrification like happen literally every day?

I mean it's it's it's baffling.

Because you'll be bringing them in you, they be bringing you, be.

Bringing them introd neighborhood. You move in, and yet I haven't just by my own ship yeh, yes you did. I haven't moved in here, and yet I haven't moved in with anybody. It's I mean, you.

Gotta think about us.

It's been years now, It's been like fifteen years.

Of this now, so this is not a new phenomenon.

So I'm not like, no, Clid, but you got to think about your responsibility here. You introduce, you bring them, you invited them to your house, and then they get off the train and they're like, oh I always felt Crown Lights was dand is it's just super cute. Then when their friends are looking for an apartment, they'd be like, beckay, that's exactly what you've been.

Doing it for fifteen years. Could it's soving it out, it's oving it out the case I fucked.

Up my neighborhood because I lived in Harlem and I was on one twenty seven in Madison and a nice brownstone. That was like ten years ago when you had a brownstone and people like you live in a brownstone. Now everybody live in a brownstone. But I my roommate was white. She moved in, I left, she's there. Then another friend of mine lives them seriously, So now the whole building is white.

It's two people that's white. The whole building is white now.

And so now there's a freaking whole Foods on one hundred and twenty fifth Street.

They took uh what was that?

So? Is that south so hot? It's taking soup. That's crazy.

They're shutting down the Sea Town and the Key Food. They're shutting down the seatown for a whole food. Yes, girl, where people get their guava from? Where they gonna get there Goya? There's no Goya sections in the.

Water with coconuts in it.

Eight pounds of sugar, way floating sugar coconut water. That's crazy.

Yeah, I mean literally, there's like the gap. There's everything on one twenty fifth Street that I didn't even think.

Well, they're crazy to see. There's like just like little changes that people don't notice. Though, Like I was writing about this, like one thing I've noticed that police officers smile at residents. That's something I've never seen before. Like this, walking down the street, I just saw cops just smiling at people.

I don't think I've ever seen a COPSI yeah.

I've never seen cops smiling at residents. Mostly white residents are smiling at but they are smiling at people who live in the neighborhood. And that's something I've just never accustomed. You just mean mug cops, They mean muggy. You mean them in the NY smile. Listen, smiling police.

I've never seen a cop smile. But I did see here a cop laugh at me.

Once. I was going down the street and like you, I tripped.

On a pothole or a large crack on the sidewalk and I wasn't trying to break my mother's back, so I tripped and then I heard somebody go ah, look, and it was a cop the street laughing at me, and I was protection sir, and he was like, hell, you gotta watch that curb. That was the whole interaction.

I don't know he smiled.

Though, So you've been in this neighborhood that long things have been changing. How has your building changed?

Yea, let's talk about that. It's weird. So so you'll see notes notes in the hallway, note passive aggressive notes. That's the thing they I've never seen before. It's one lady posted like if you must smoke in the common area, you know, use it astray, like just like stuff that you wouldn't see what is a common area? Yeah, but then also like, but it's funny. My building is still pretty much mostly black. There's some white people moving in, but the white people are definitely, for the most part,

It's New York City though. The fact that people move to New York City and they want peace and quiet, you're not. You're not.

There's there's there's the train, there's ambulance, there's the police, there's the hood.

There is there's no way you can get peace and unless banish people listening to their bot there's the black people listening to their whatever reggae song they have on repeat in my building. It's changing so fast that I heard somebody blessing ed sheeran. Wow, Wow, what hours the same song over and over again.

Alady come to the door, turn that goddamned.

They feel about the new album, just like like on repeat.

Super did see something amazing last summer though. There's a new white girl moving upstairs and was just downstairs in the stairs all smoking weed with the hood dudes. It was great.

I was like, this is people coming together.

Just because I was I assume that people who move in will complain about like the hoodishness of the building, like you know, people playing like all went along and downstairs we got people in the lobby playing suit and dice, playing dominoes.

Oh yeah, like this building is like lean on it.

Yeah, deaden the streets so all some of people barbecue on the sidewalk.

Well that's they're barbecuing on the sidewalk. But you know what, they're shutting down block parties. There used to be ten.

Years ago, there used to be block parties in Brooklyn and Harlem. They're shutting it down, and it's so sad because block parties actually bring the block together. Like, yeah, I'm not really gonna eat your mac and cheese from two doors down, but.

At least it's out there. At least you made enough enough trade for everybody. At least we know you tried it. Yeah, Okay, it looks disgusting.

But it's also a thing where like you got you judge people who come into the neighborhood by how they come into the neighborhood.

So I saw it the Mike Cannon, you guys know.

Mike cannoned off this another comic Mike move, you know, the comic hen move into my old block, an them phosphate place, and like he was one of the first like white people to live there. And he's like, you know, I knew I was coming to this thing, and people view me as like this invader. So he made a

It's also a double edge sword with it because sometimes when white people are too into like the black owned businesses and they only have black friends, it's like, are you making this trendy because you weren't doing that before? Like are you You're going out of your way? I like when people are just natural about it, like you don't have to but just be conscious of what you're doing.

Absolutely. It's it's crazy though, because you have to kind of be intentional in some way about these things, because yeah, if you just a person's a lot of times a person's natural instinct is just like go with people who are just like them, and that's how you end up with the neighborhood. Yeah, but if you move into.

A neighborhood white, Yes, But Williamsburg didn't start out like Williamsburg to me, like because I've seen it change. So Williamsburg, for those of you who are listening who have never been to New York, is more expensive than parts of Manhattan now when it was more No, it used to be like it used to be where poor artists who couldn't afford to live in the city live and you you'd live in like an old warehouse that is now

Store, yes, opening another one.

It's only two apple that's insane.

All the bars that were there ten years ago, Like there was a place called Salis.

That I would go there, It's they're all gone.

I always go to Spike Hill right next to the Bedford station, and I was like, well, see that's what they do is.

And this is People listening to this are like, why are you guys complaining Mantwaan people, we bring apple stores to your neighborhood.

This is why we're complaining.

Because y'all move in, and then your friends move in, and then they raise everybody's rent who's already been there for years. But then they raised the rent of the businesses that have been there, so no one can afford to be there except y'all.

Well, then the whole cultural identity the place has changed.

Exactly.

It's that they moved there in the first place because it was cheap. Exactly.

Now it's not cheap anywhere so you're actually doing a disservice to what you actually wanted to do.

That was also one of the things where it's to the point now where're several generations into gentrification. So yeah, a lot of white people who were mad about it. They're like, I was here and now I'm priced and drop back that ass up.

I'm here for.

Two thousand.

Coffee shop was a yoga studio and now so that's all you know that it's a mayonnaise store.

It's sad for me because of the playgrounds. I'm more upset about the outside and then you, uh, you still.

Go to playground.

I'm talking about for the kids.

I mean, anybody, anybody in here got no damn q growing.

Up in Harlem, like being in just being on the bench, being on porches, being on stoop. That was New York and now you can't do It's called lottery.

No, it'stering there.

There was no.

Thing, yes, sitting in this communicating with people, communicating.

Yo, this is like like Brooklyn is a Spike Lee movie. Yeah again, well Spike had this whole thing with his dad. His dad had like a big, like decades long battle with their new neighbors who were mad about the music. Fort Green, they had a whole whole house, a whole brownstone where people just played music all day, the musicians. And then these new people move in. They were like, Nah, this gotta go down.

That's what my problem is is you move into my neighborhood where we've been doing we've been we've been playing music loud when every day that we clean, we play music loud. Every time that we're happy, we play music loud.

Every time something.

He breaks up with us, we playing musical live. Somebody gives you some good dick.

You play musicud.

Even a white person moves in with a child in one of them double wade strollers and then they're like, excuse me, I have I have a baby.

You need to turn it down.

And it's like, no, I have been playing music before the baby, like before you met your man, I've been playing this music and you complaining about noise complaints. And the problem is is that when gentrification happens.

People call the cops more before people would never call the cops.

So like, we don't handle it the way we're gonna handle it. And I'm gonna go up there, I'm gonna smack thee I'm not the ceiling with a boom, you know what I mean, like the and they.

Don't understand that some of us don't have the same relationship with police as you do.

Like you that you think that they're protecting you.

Yeah, they're protecting you. They're not protecting everybody. Let me tell you what happens. So I have a white roommate. She's a craiglist. Find that's just what it is.

So one day she had like a tender a tinder boot come into the house and she, uh the I have a downstairs neighbor who's like real loud. He like this angry crazy leski, this Spanish dude, and he was down there yelling at his girlfriend or his baby mother or whatever. I couldn't hear him yelling. My roommate is like, he's so loud, do you hear that.

I go into her room and she.

Has her ear like on a cook on the floor, and I'm like, if that's why you can hear it so clear because you listening. And she was like, she's like, I'm gonna call the cops. And I was like, oh girl, She was like, should we call the cops? I said, we ain't calling nobody I said, if you're gonna call him, make sure you don't say what apartment you call him from.

But I would never.

But now he got a problem with me because he thinks I did it. And she's like she comes out and she's like, well what happened? And then why are they yelling? She's like super oblivious to what she did. And now he got a problem with me.

The person is that's the see that is the most that is one of the most dangerous kinds of white people. Who doesn't realize that, like the police escalate things to their away with black people, so like calling the cops should be like the last resort. Like I've I've I mean most of it. I think most of the black people I know, I'm all like this. I've never called for any reason ever, which is crazy. But I was grouping in a bad neighborhood. It just never occurred to me like to do that.

Called the cops once one time on a family member on a family she she she threw a tray table at me. I said, yeah, we're not gonna do this like it hit me. It almost hit me in my eye, and I was like.

Yeah, you got to go.

Well, that's what's the backstory here? Why what did you do to get a trade table thrown at you. You know what, See you're not as you should be more supportive and be like, no, what happened?

I didn't do any question that. I just asked what did you do? I didn't do anything. A relative was dying. You know, when somebody dies, people start arguing over stuff like.

Well, that's I want that brooch?

Like crazy.

So no, we were just going back and forth and then it just escalated and she started arguing and then she threw a trade table at me.

I said, yeah, you're gonna go. We got you gotta get out, Like, so, how many people were in the house? It was about seven.

First of all, it's like a one bedroom apartment, like it shouldn't have been eight people there.

It was eight people sleeping there staying.

It was messy. You sound real Dominican.

Yeah, it felt real. It felt like bitty bitty Bama. It was really terrible. And she tore a trade table at me, and I have to call the cops. But then when the cops came here, like so, do you want.

To take her?

And I was like no, I couldn't send you what girl? I mean, you could listen, you gotta get that story to yourself. You didn't need to show that, because what's the craziest thing that you saw in your neighborhood grown up? Like, what's the craziest, like the most the most nino brownish moment of I mean just.

You know, outside of the standard like open air drug dealing, just like in the middle of the day type stuff. Seeing the cops handcuffs and body and beat them up and then let them go, give them to give them a choice of like wall can either like give you a beaten or like arrest you. And they're like, well.

At the park, would you if you were giving the choice beat me up or arrest me?

What would you go?

Wilding?

Back? Then?

Man, do I really want to go to jail? No, but you want to get your I don't want my fam'ly like, yo, fuck me up from the knees down my feet look terrible anyway, just stump them out. Just don't touch my face.

Just in the butt or my bob, my boobs, my face. I need that, but you could just everything else fuck that up. Okay, So, now, what's the craziest thing.

That you've seen in your neighborhood recently?

I mean I saw a dude on a tall bike.

That are like on top of each other and like you have to basically roll up next to like a lighthole to stop because you're so high off the ground.

Like a dude, Like, how do you do that?

Like a circus act? Like a bike on stilts?

Yeah, a tall bike and this bike is like double the height of a record bike bike frames well with the if she's.

Thrown a rock between the smooth I saw a white guy on a unit, like a big unit cycle and he had to fitted on a y fitted on. I said, blasphemy, that is not He was probably listening to migos with terrible you know, he had corn rolls.

It was awful. And I saw a dude with the cape, with the cape he walking, He was walking down Bedford Avenue. He was a white dude with the cape. He wasn't even on like a hoverboard or not. Harry Potter is walking down the street. You know that is crazy.

That's like within the normal realm.

Now, Colid, you you upset about the gentrification, But what's about what about the gentrification.

That's going on in your pants? Like you you jake a lot. I see you. You you took on these dates with the white ladies bagging. Hold on, hold on, I won't fit too. I want to fit this West Indian spot, this little little little jerk chicken and plantings. I've done died to collide with a white woman with a blonde bang and he was child. I was like, what in the world.

I was like, Cam, yeah, so were you were on a date with was? I was not on a date.

That's how that's my benefactor.

I did not blame him.

He wanted to date.

He this is a white man who feeds me, So we go to different restaurants, so that he and I was sitting there and I was like, I know he could come on the date too, but I was like, I can't believe he's on a date with a white woman in here cold.

I'm open please any lady who will have me.

Yeah, but what's the.

Black woman's last on a date with a black woman? Last year? Actually, yeah, that's a damn black Look at my eyes.

Sidney cut his feet open in the counter. Rings are black like black like me? Or like black like Zoey Kravitz, Like what what kind of black man?

She was all the way black?

But she was definitely black, or like Zoe Kravits, Oh gosh, both of her parents.

She he eats kale on the right, she has kale chips and mango.

The toe bags.

She had toy bird birch handles on She came to pick you up on a tall ass bike.

You said you're open to it, but like, come on, dude, I don't see no variety in your women.

It'd be the same type of the same veggie veggie stick.

Yes, I don't know. You was keeping spreadsheet and always watching.

I will walking to a plate and I'll be like, is that motherfucking collid You be in the corner that don't have no lights on night, it'd be dark, it would be the darkest part of the bar. And I'm like, it's Kali, the.

Girl I bought some performed show. The first yeah I've seen it was was Egyptians.

She looked real mailer Egyptian.

Yeah, call me a clear pat in Africa. Yeah.

So where do you find these women besides being in your neighborhood.

You wanna find them online with everybody else. Wonds and some people. One let people know.

That he's crippled as fuck, but he's getting his He absolutely he got he got shorty slided in here regularly with that broken He's putting the broken leg to the side, and he's like, you're gonna get this work.

Just handy capable. Your man is handy capable. Okay, okay, aside, I can't leave this apartment, doesn't mean I can.

You perpetuate like the cycle is so real. You your leg broken, You got the white q You're breaking their back.

They saw.

That's why they even they stand in this neighborhood because you break their backs. They can't go that far.

And you know what Clid said, He's like, well, a black woman wouldn't want a handicap.

So that's what it is.

Like, I'm trying to get this white woman taking I'm not a white woman.

Hopefully they will teach me how to swim.

Shut them. Get a black woman, let's teach her how to swim.

Let me tell you, everybody's gonna be swimming.

Let me tell you something. Amina Amani, who was our frugal expert a couple of episodes ago, she went to Howard University on a full swim scholarship. So she's a black woman. She's a black queen who can teach you how to swim.

And are trying to put up with my ass?

Well no not probably not, but she is somebody who can help you learn how to swim.

I want to challenge you and I want you to your next tendre date to be a black woman.

I really do.

Yeah, I want you to go out. Thing is though, I'm one of those people like I just if I'm gonna tender, I'm just swiping on theod looking people.

Right.

So now number somber want to take? What the number of connections I get with black woman is not many? Because what your photo look like? Your photo look like my photo? Me whip and the dog. The dog that we have here is our dog is like the main star of the photo. It's just as you know why women like dogs? You know what?

What trap you baiting? Listen, put a fitted on and get.

On a toll bike.

You go.

You gonna get everybody.

You gonna get Asians, you don't get Dominicans. You're gonna get somebody Peruvian. You will get everybody's way. When's the last time you were on a dab with an Asian woman?

Do you date them? Oh?

Man, I don't think that's I don't recall, don't.

Recall Jeff Sessions.

That's right hand, I do not recall next you.

Open to everybody, But it don't sound like it's sounding like you real exclusive.

I mean I'm trying.

No, you're not literally not trying to tell me what it is you gotta doing.

You're doing what you're doing, and you're thriving right now.

When's the last time you've been on a date with a Vietnamese woman?

I mean, you're trying to make me the United Nations.

Your dad works for a state department. You had a friend from San Diego.

Come on, now, I have a friend from Malaysia. I rode in a bulletproof limousine.

When I was nine.

That's a bulletproof, right.

What he's trying, He's trying to stay alive. If I date this Tiffany with three eyes, then when our baby comes out, Tate Dick's color, Dick's baby color, then I know that won't shoot. So what what advice do you have for people who are maybe being edged out of their neighborhood as a gentrification?

I mean I started, I start my rent was going to go up at my old place, and eventually it didn't just go up. They sold, They sold our whole. Our landlord sold our apartment, so we moved. I started getting desperate and looking at like crazy situations. I was like, can I live in a fancy fixed up band? Can I live? Can I live on a march? I was like, look and crazy crazy things. But I think the main thing is just like know your know your rights in terms of your tenants. Rights are very strong in New

There's a lot of like and I don't even know if my building got a board.

There's a lot of tendants to know, there's a lot of tennants groups they get together, like down the street they were gonna raise the ring crazy amount. If this complex over on Prospect and they fought it and won. They got they got their rent to stay the same for the last two years in a row because they just organized and got together and have the media and black people. It's black people in that building or building.

So the white people helped the black folks, but black the black people were just angry and like leaving the trash in front.

Of the Definitely, they organize and fight it because some people just assume it's gonna happen no matter what, and they just like giving. But if you fight it, you can definitely have a chance to win. Wow, Sidney, you believe that. You believe in fighting with the board.

I've seen people fight these races and have it work out for them.

Well, I feel like even like, like all the neighborhoods in Brookline are changing so much like Sydney's.

Like when I go to.

Bushwick and I see people like complaining about So I was at a bar for a show last week and we're all outside being loud and black.

That's what we do.

It was I don't know, maybe midnight, twelve thirty something like that. But what day was it, I don't know, like a Wednesday. Wednesday, and this white woman. We turn around and she just appears and we're like just she was standing so close to us, and she was like, there are two women trying to sleep across the street. Can you please keep it down? And we were like, you y'all live across from a bar in Bushwick. Bushwick that used to be nothing but like loud Spanish folks and louder Black folks.

And somebody got shot down.

The street from where I was talking to two days before. We were there, so I got it. And it's like, did you go up to the person shooting?

Excuse me?

We're trying to do this leap to hit the bullets down.

Not even can you please use your silencer? Good sir, good day? Like that's crazy.

All these neighborhoods have changed so freaking much.

I am baffled.

But then they changed the names of the neighborhood too, like they're like, this.

Is not that in this neighborhood.

I went outside, there was I heard someone talking about pro Crow, Prospect Crown Heights. Pro Crow. I'm so happy.

Pro Crow.

Oh well no, well, you know, like so Bedside is a huge neighborhood. Crown Heights huge neighborhood, Flatbush, probably one of the biggest neighborhoods in Brooklyn, and they cut that up. It's like Prospect Lefforts Gardens and Prospect Park South.

And it's like this realtor is trying to get a little extra money. I'm saying, you live in this new fancy neighborhood. It's not the same as it was before, and it's it is.

You just got a new pizza shop, you got a new vape shop, hooka bar, it's the same.

The bape shop is the fourth the fourth horseman of the gentrification apocalypse.

That is wild.

All right, well, I think, Cidy, do you have any questions for him?

I do.

Okay, Well, we're gonna give you eight. We're gonna give you a quick quiz to see if you really are our gentrification expert. Are you ready for this?

Ready? Okay, Sydney, go ahead?

Okay.

So the price of a bodega tomato was originally twenty cents because of gentrification.

How much is it now? Oh, it's about three dollars.

You got a cold unfold your money.

You got an unfold your money.

You got unfolds of money today.

Digging the bottom of that bag.

But it is so real, and it's and it's a full three dollars.

It's not like two dollars in ninety nine smaller.

It's a cherry tomato r that is so crazy. Okay, so here's my question to you. Uh, twenty years ago, you live on the second floor. You like yourself out of your apartment. How do you get into your apartment?

Twenty years ago, I'm probably calming through somebodies.

But now, twenty seventeen, you live on the second floor. You you don't have your key on you. How do you get into your apartment?

I mean, I'm accepting that I'm not getting in at all. And I'm also gonna says a silent prayer. I'm gonna answers my prayers.

Because they're gonna go. Like, there's a black man out here loitering, he bring he wearing these fake glass and I've done. Did you have another question?

Yes, So.

Someone robs you in your neighborhood twenty years ago, you don't call the cops.

No, I'm calling Rodney. Your people call hit Negro across the street. Rodney.

Literally, you get robbed last night?

What do you do last night?

No?

Man, I'm probably gonna go home and just cry it off.

I'm not gonna tell nobody was gonna cry silently in my room.

You're not gonna tweet about it least I'm taking some time boat.

You lie on the brail, but they robbed you for your laptop, they took your passport.

Oh, then I'm gonna go on Twitter and put a passive, aggresive joke about it.

You can't even call about your contracts are gone.

Get my carrier pigeons together.

Question for her that I feel like you just proved yourself to be the gentrification expert dude.

Right now I feel like handy po oh my god, you.

And your broken knee and your ashy feet.

I can't.

We know you won't be doing comedy in Tola the end of August, so you don't have anything coming up, but please plug your Instagram, your Twitter.

Let people know where they can catch your writing.

At Collin n YC on Twitter. I'm at called says on Instagram. I started writing for a website called The Things dot com. Recently, The Things.

An article for Classic Black Dude dot Com.

Classic Black Dude dot Com.

Yeah, Clark Jones, really really good sight. Shout out to Clark Jones actually.

Clark Jones, who Clark Joe the top.

Five about gentrifications. You can catch that right now on Classic dot com. Beautiful.

Can you spell your name for us? Because I feel like some of our listeners are of the beige varieties.

They don't know what is H A L I D beautiful And Collin Says on Instagram called says on Twitter. I mean Collin n y C.

On Twitter it's beautiful and you can catch me on Instagram just said BW and then on Twitter it she just said n y C. You know, catch us on an unofficial expert on Instagram as well.

Yeah, make sure you tweet me it's mister z M s R e E E z Y. If you have a crazy interaction that you were a part of because of gentrification, you gotta tweet us yes, and then you can catch me on the radio every Thursday from seven to eight pm on ninety nine point five f M or W B A I dot org. Anyway, this is what this is what we do. For sure, you subscribe.

That's all that we ask for you to and if you are in an uber pool, Listenedney, do something crazy that you can write about it, because that is my favorite thing on the internet. You are a rock star.

Give us one more, one more word, one more about gentrification before we go. If you could think of anything through those loud ass places that the clerk are tall, expert is stacking in the background.

Did you go to your bodega and they have the New Yorker It's over