"The Freeloading Expert" with Ayo Edebiri

Forever.

Hi guys, Hello, Hello, Hello, Welcome to the Indificial Expert Podcast, where we don't get drumb about what you thought you knew.

Oh look at that. I like that little you know. I got sunglasses on in the stew. Okay, so you you somebody thank you this big time. This is my Howard Stern persona right now. Yeah, I don't.

I'm wearing glasses because I don't want to look you in your eyes and take away your soul.

You know, that's how satanic introduction was that. That's how I feel right now. Hot, since you know I'm a Christian? Why are you hot? Somebody? Somebody touched her butt on the train.

No, you know, this was a this is a weird week. I was going through a lot this week, were you. Yeah, I feel like I saw you a couple of times this week. Yeah, but we was at Carolines, and you know I was upset after.

Can we talk about what happened at Caroline? Oh?

Ye?

Can we name some names? Yeah, of course.

So Louis c k dropped in and Sidney was supposed to get on stage, and like when when a comic that has credits a famous comedian comes into a club everybody else who thought they were going up has to wait. Yeah, And so he came out and somebody said, oh wait.

The why was really upset is that another comedian had switched with me. He said he had to go and he needed to go first, and I was originally first, and then he put me all the way towards the end, right, So I was upset because he stuck around to watch Louis c K.

And I was like, I thought you had things to do, and he was like, I'm not gonna leave. Louis c K's here, and I.

Was like, that's what all the women said about him. Also, yeah, they couldn't leave because Louis.

C K was there. Damn, you don't do that. Okay, that's the notes. Wow Jesus.

Anyway, he came out and he was He had a joke where he talked about his penis, and I was like, I feel like only a white man in America in twenty eighteen can get accused of what he got accused of and then get on stage and talk about his dick.

Yeah.

I was like, that's that's like the right climate for this. But they were here for it. I mean like they enjoyed.

Him will cho as crazy is that we just had that hearing with doctor Ford and everything, and it's just like, this is not the week to do this. You should just still take a seat and be in your attic or your basement and chilled. Can you just be on ice? Yeah, Like we don't need your opinion or your jokes right now. They not that good.

They not that good.

Like what made me so upset was that everybody in the room was key key king at this man, and I was like, dude, there was another comic who was funnier than him before well actually actually.

Yes, and then one after that was.

He was a professional gross ass comedian and people enjoyed him. Somebody said that because there was one person that was clapping longer than everybody else, and that person apparently was standing like gave him a standing ovation by himself. Just one person in this comedy club decided they were going to stand and.

Salute this dude like he was a vent.

Yeah, And so after he got off, it's the it's a little hard for other comedians to go up and do their thing because the the audience was already like.

They're already nut next they already nutted.

They were like well I came and I can leave now or I'm just not going to give people the energy that they deserve. And that's exactly what was happening, Like they were just so lukewarm, and it's like, dude, this guy Louis didn't even do his job. Those were it was his open mic, pretty right. He had a piece of paper and he was reading off.

He was talking about you know whatever I popped into his head on the train today or whatever.

And so I got online and uh, the person you blasted somebody. I blasted the person because I called him a dick rider. And obviously that's a triggering word for men, because men were all in my dms like well, why is he a dick writer?

And it's like I'm.

Because let me see what the what the post is doing on Facebook.

Well, I've been out after the post and people came up to me, thank you, thank you so much for writing that.

Thank you think we appreciate you. And I was like, they're giving you standing ovations, like you're a vent.

Yeah yeah, yeah, but it's just like you don't need to watch this. I was stuck in the room watching him because the dressing room was being occupied by somebody else. Otherwise I wouldn't have watched his set, But I was like, why are we giving him the attention that he obviously is here for. If everybody turned his back while he was doing his jokes, he would be like, oh, I'm not wanted here. I'm not wanted at all, and I probably wouldn't do this.

Okay, well, let's read the follow up post that Sidney put on.

I missed this. It's like seventy nine comments.

Okay, Sidney said, half, y'all comedians would barely sit around to watch your own friends do a set, but y'all stayed to watch Luis c k trash.

It's dick writing.

It's oh, he's one of the greats, so fucking what he was pulling his dick out.

And being mad weird with women.

Nah, I don't want to watch his set or any person who is that disrespectful. Legends can be garbage too, and I'm not standing with him.

For the love of comedy.

Sidney, give me an what's a angela ride?

Angela ride? Shut up?

Marie.

So yeah, I guess that was my expertise, just calling people out and not standing for the bullshit. Thank you, thank you so let's crappy. Some snap, somebody gets some snaps some okay, thank you.

Snap, some hitting your heels, clicking your heels guys.

Yeah, but I think that we need to call out more people as much as possible, because this is the time.

Yes, the time. Why not why not say you're fresh?

Yeah? Why not call somebody a dick rider? Yeah, I'm beauty. It's beautiful.

I love it. I love it. Were you an expert?

See my expertise seems real little compared to yours. Now, but I have pretty big week, Sis. This week, I decided I was going to go on a date every single day with a different man.

And because I'm on the app right, yes, And.

I feel like, you know, it's in your pocket, it's on your phone sometimes you like, somebody send you a message you don't really want to respond.

Made no excuse, Sis, you did what you did?

No? No, no, no, no no no, I'm taking a step. I just want to say something. I don't always respond to stuff like I'm not really active on the app Busy Bliss and so uh, my roommate is on the same app as me, and she hasn't gone on a single date and she's like, well, I'm looking for a husband.

And I was like, you need to get off that app. You're doing these apps. You're dating wrong. You need to do the Christian minglers. I went on a date on Monday with the dude because he had a printer. Sis. He had a printer in his building and that's why.

And I didn't know that coming into it, because technically I went out for the tacos and then he was like, oh, because we went to lunch and he was like, oh, do you want to come drink on my roof?

And I was like, it's four o'clock.

It's four o'clock and it's overcast, like if there's no real reason, it was real foggy.

But I had some stuff that I needed to print out, and I said to him, well do you have a printer And he said, I have a printer in my building. And I said, well, I guess I'm coming.

Your house then.

So I went to this house and he was trying to get me to stay. You're like, no, honey, I got my ship printed out. I gotta get these ten pages and go, and then I left and he unmatched me work.

He unmatched me.

So, but the printer is in his lobby, So me and the concierge are cool in the building now. So now I have a place to print free Sydney. Do you need some stuff printed this week? Girl?

Listen, I got you email it to me and then I'm pop in see his coss beautiful.

And this is why I love Marie because she gets what she wants. She puts it out there in the universe. She throws it at the wall and it always comes back.

I mean, I also really want some money, universe, Universe, throw some money in my face.

It's gonna go.

And then Tuesday I went out with uh, this like Italian dude that didn't speak no English.

But you know, how was that exists? Were you Rosetta Stone in it?

Or you were just Oh, you know what's fun is like when people people speak and you kind of try to guess what they're talking about.

That's fun. You met a whole Congress conversation was a whole corson.

I mean he was trying, you know, he was trying to speak English, and I was like, yeah, should we get more margarite? That was me on the rooftop with this man that like, I'm probably never going to see it again.

You went to another roof. Yeah, I went to another roof. You're not trying to live.

I'm just trying to time real estate to like kill somebody a roof.

No, yes, it.

Is when white people are gathered drinking on a roof.

Uh huh.

They're not gonna kill you in an alley downstairs, yes, but not a roof.

When do you ever watch those like crime movies where like the bad guys on the roof and then the good guys on the roof, and then they have a scuffle and you're.

Calling me the bad guy or the good guy? Who am I in this scenario? You use the niggas with a printer?

Yeah, I mean it was an ink jab.

There was black and color black listen I got. I got a black and white print out in color. I was like, can we print that out in navy?

I love that?

Got cole bolt. So that's what I was doing. And uh then my streak ended.

So two dates, five days. The Lord had to humble you. I was like, you didn't take a break. Take a break.

He was like, that's enough tequila for you. But I think that I'm gonna I'm gonna do, like keep doing it. I might do like an Asian week, and then like a Shark week, and then like a black actually.

The Black Shark week. Whatever.

I just I feel like I'm gonna go out with people who like I just why not.

Out of you?

I totally am down with this. And you know, if you ever want to just third will me. I'm here for it.

Oh you want me to do it? Three something?

Yeah, just be like, hey, I really feel comfortable if my my hot friend comes as well, say I'm hot, so that you know. And then I'll come in like a button down or a turtleneck and be like hey guys, and I'll bring a book.

Come on, let's have fun.

With this, Marie. Okay, cool, let's do that. Let's do it.

Avatars do a week when I just keep bringing Sydney to dates, I'm doing it.

Speaking of bringing people. Wait, wait, wait, Marie, there was one thing.

What happened.

There was a d M and we're gonna we're gonna go by it today. How we have to.

Be Oh yeah, somebody's sliding my dms and.

You want to read it? Oh on, let me pull out the receipts. I love when the guests give us feedback. We need it. Sometimes you know what I mean. By the way, keep writing those.

Reviews, y'all, keep writing the reviews.

Keep giving us stars, all the stars. We need them. It's so important. Okay, this comes.

From a listener Nedra underscore eighty eight work. She said, I love you guys and think you are both super funny. But y'all gotta let the guests speak sometimes, like we want to hear what they have to say, if they're an expert at something. When you cut them off, speak over them, or don't listen to what they say, you break their momentum and it takes away from the overall

No, no, no, no, Our guests can handle us.

She she's dealt with us on many occasion, and she's at the same time, at the same damn time.

She got it. Okay, Well, but I'm gonna take a seatback. I'm gonna let you rot. You know what I'm saying. Episode is gonna be dry as because we're gonna be like, can I can I speak? Yeah? Can I have the floor? Can we raise her hand to get a little bell? Listen?

If you're holding the donut box, then the exable, then you get to speak.

Do you want to do that?

No? I guess today is like a super funny comedian.

Oh my god, truly adorable.

She called us her moms, which is a little bit so rude, but like cool moms, like cool gay moms. Yes, like if full House had black people on it. She's a hilarious comic. Y'all won't love her.

And she just celebrated her birthday. Yes, she did that. I missed because I was busy.

Give it up for the very funny hour Free loading Expert.

It's I owe a debois.

Yeah.

I guys, do you have anything that you wanted to weigh in on?

On?

What that what we talked about? Yeah? What if?

I was just like, oh, I don't really want to talk this episode. You guys can just talk?

No, we need God?

So wow, okay, And she is wearing glasses in the stewed folks in the suits. Absolutely in the studie. We got two glasses.

We have another pair of glasses for the guests.

I would love to put some where.

Actually I do.

Oh my god, of course you're doing all right, Well, here I go. You'll feel it. You'll feel the difference. You'll hear the difference.

When I put them on.

And they're really fun there. They're very like Grace Jones is.

Oh wow, great, I feel like I'm in a pull.

Up to my bump bye bye, even.

Like in like, I feel like I look like I'm in ray Is that is that?

Arts? You feel like?

I feel like I look like I'm wearing glasses? That that like a three Blind Mice cartoon?

Can you give us? Can you give us a heroine shimmy? Yeah? Absolutely, like a heroine.

Took women's head.

Oh yeah, I almost like, well that, I mean.

The movie, that's what half of the movie was.

Charles like, women would shake his hand and he would like touch their wrist and if like the risk felt sexy, he was like, oh that mean she hot.

That was fully like one of the first like sexy movies that I like I watched, I feel like as a or just it had a sexy movie.

It was it had a sexy It was a.

Dude addicted to heroin playing.

So anyways, I was a kid and I thought it was hot. Just having a really strange sort of memory of remembering being in the scene.

That I like your I like your outlook on that.

But there's a keyboard right there you turned on right, Yeah, we might have to get you on the on the forever dog little instead doing a little right Charles bit, No, no, no, no, you are black, but you won't be Black List.

Thank you, thank you. So yeah, way in on some stuff my friend.

Yeah, I mean the whole like uh Louis c K thing that just makes me so annoyed, especially after I feel like just like the whole hearings and everything. I had a show recently also where after my set a guy in the audience came up to me and was like, I was wearing this like oversized jacket and he was like, I wish you had you took that jacket off so I could see more of you. And I was like, did you hear any of the jokes that I said when I was talking about like for five minutes, And I was like, no.

No, the jacket was too big. Did'd you hear me?

All the sound was absorbed by your jacket?

I mean you, I mean you could take that jacket off. You guys in my shoulders?

Well, thank you.

I just want to I just want to see more of your shoulder.

It's a little stressful. How hot my shoulders. It's a burden.

Let me see a little, just a little, just a little.

Oh my god, I am I'm that's a sports and that's a sports bru.

Did you work out today?

Uh no, some guys should just want to feel sort of smushed, smushed, Yeah, a little flat.

I didn't realize how like young you sound you are? How old are you?

I just turned twenty three?

Okay, okay, I like everybody in her is twenty three.

I'm actually twenty five, but thank you. I just looked twenty three, fossil.

Why did you come but you just turned twenty three?

Where are you from?

Like, I'm originally I'm from Boston, and then I went to NYU and I still n y you.

Okay, you got seventy nine thousand dollars a year for school?

No, I got a deep scholarship.

I believe that. I feel like you're a hard worker.

I feel like you stay in your laptop and always working on some type of paper or dissertation.

We should call you a nerd suit a little bit, a little bit.

Listen, I'll own it. My parents, my dad's from Nigeria, is from Barbados, and so those are two like you have to achieve, like you have no choice but to achieve countries.

I feel like I didn't know Nigerians were allowed to marry non Nigerians. I mean we found out.

I feel like the weddings are very like traditional. So the Beasian mom was also, she had like the beads.

She they didn't do like a huge traditional traditional wedding because my dad's kind of like simple dude. But yeah, well and so that's sort of and so we'll get back around to that. But he listened. He loved to save. But my mom loves that stuff. Like we went to my aunt got married recently and there was like a big wedding. It was in Boston. It was three days long.

What three days?

We gotta push her down several flights of stairs. How dam are they providing food for the whole three days? Yeah, this lunch and did well. So it's like the.

First day is like it's like traditional and it's like the introduction, so it's just like the families meet each other and then they do these like Nigerian rights, and then like the second day is another traditional wedding and that's like but like everybody comes to that, and then there's like dancing and this like games and whatever and more traditional stuff. And then that's lots of food, lots of dancing, and then the third day was like an American wedding, white dress.

Wait, how do you first of all, how expensive are these three days?

Get into it? Do I need to meet a Nigerian man?

I think honestly both, yes. And Nigerian Week, you know, have a Nigerian Week, and then I think you deserve it.

You treat yourself.

It sort of will be a little bit of punishment. You're a Haitian, right, Yeah.

Spiritually the men sort of they're the same, the same, They're the same, And that's why I don't want to actually date a Nigerian man.

But like an American eyed.

An americanized one. Yeah, and he's like a doctor or something because his parents are like you have to be a doctor, and he listened to them.

Doctor lawyer, engineer.

Well he's all of that.

Yeah, but Marie got a lip. You know, she talked too damn much.

So I don't think a Nigerian man who work in all the hours is going to let her talk like that.

You're gonna hit her in the mouth, that's yeah, just poop you.

Where are you from? You're from the middle of the ocean.

Where are you?

Froum? Just sorry that ain't exist? Okay, give me a Nigerian accent. Oh no, I'm nervous now.

Well, well, because you got the floor.

It's not been on forever dog, but I but but I feel like I haven't been on the podcast where the black people listen.

I feel like this is the one where the black pep. It's the white people. It's white people in Australia. Listen, everybody, girl, This is for the masses, that's true. This is for the people.

Oh hi people, I mean you know, our people popular, Their people are listening.

Oh my gosh, So so you talk to us about who you are.

You're twenty three, You're thriving, Your your hair is moisturized, your skin is glowing a little smushed right now.

That's like your book. It mates your boobs thank you.

You gotta do it. Some days you just gotta be flat.

That's okay.

Sydney doesn't believe that Sydney's booms always gott to be presented propped up. God, I gotta yeah a bunch of boobs that they look like they're protruding through the jacket.

It's just like you're perky.

That's what they're fake. They should understand money. If they was all the way down to my knees, I'll be a very be a problem.

They're like, well, you wanted the natural look, so we.

Put them in your knees. We just put them there, just got ahead of it.

So how long are implants good for? Like do you have to like up keep like.

Say ten years?

Oh nice, yeah, you got to go back dope decade titties Hell yeah, you guys, so you get you have to get them, like you got to re up on your boobs in ten years. Oh, I can't wait till I book a book of show show. I'm getting new titties with that money.

Some eleven, get some Fox.

Don't let me get no Netflix, because hunty, you won't even be able to see my face.

How big the titty is.

Gonna be that four of them.

Just get four.

If you get get some on your back.

Why not, I'll do it. Do it for the kids. I feel like you look like they are.

Yeah, they are sort of larger than they appear, right, I feel like my booth do that sometimes.

Sometimes, Yeah, I left this motion. Then it's like, hey, surprise they are here. You know what I mean.

I'm like your vibe because you're young and you already know you got the body.

And if you don't want to hurt nobody, so you're gonna wait.

You're gonna wait till you turn twenty six, and it's gonna be like bam it iver.

I mostly don't want to hurt myself.

You know, your back's bothering you.

There's a sort of like gentle gaze and nod that's happening right now. I think it's like really crucial to know that when this question is being asked.

Okay, so are you are you dating in the streets? You're young, attractive, you're smart.

I know, make some money.

I yeah, trying to. I don't know. I really don't like dating very much. It's because she's working, because I'm working.

Okay, because I'm unemployed. You're saying I got time to like dating.

No friend, No, I don't know. It's it's like it's kind of boring for me.

I feel like dating, yeah, because you're dating boring dudes, okay, and so sort of okay, drag me, I mean, drag me. I feel like I can't find a happy media Like it's either like they're boring or they're crazy. But then I do know that it's like because I think it's like in the back of my mind and group very Christian and like a lot of my friends right now are like married or have kids, like be like Pentecostal twenty three. Yeah, your friends are trash.

No, they're just Christian, And so you sort of leave that to where that, you know, let those two sentences find those space between that that's true. But like I feel like my impulse is actually to like, oh, I should be in love and like you know what I mean, just because I was like raised like that for so long.

I was raised like that, but I don't believe.

That I have.

So I just feel like I have to, like I either I'm just like okay, I have to keep dating people who I'm not actually interested in or not I'll.

Be like yeah, stuck.

Yeah, just don't do it if you're not interested in them at all and they not spending three days worth a wedding money on you, think that's true.

Just focus on your work. I was raised straight as fuck. Look at me, now, let's get that on some jackets.

That's very on each arm, on each arm, or like.

Down the pant leg. So wait, what did you go to school for.

I studied, uh, playwriting? Really? Yeah? Wow?

I did not know that.

For four years?

No, I.

So I was studying to be a teacher, and so I did that for two and then that was also like my being like don't worry mom and dad like I'll do improv that night, sort of toxic. And then I was like okay, that doesn't make any sense. And so I transferred to a writing program in n y U and got in, and then my dad was like okay, good luck.

They're like bye, that was nice.

Yeah, They're like good, we're happy for you by good luck with money, but like cool, that's a decision that you made. But yeah, studied that.

So let's talk about many. So do you have you come from a big family?

Yeah, so my dad has twenty sisters, twenty sisters, brothers.

You say twenty kids, My.

Dad's got twenty kids. No, he has twenty brothers and sisters, and my mom has twelve.

Oh my god, that's like ninety uncles.

I mean about yeah, we have, like I have, like truly hundreds of cousins.

And so where are all these aunts and uncles.

So on my dad's side, my my grandfather had three wives and so.

That's true to the culture.

And so my dad is the oldest of the first wives, and all those kids went to America basically, and then the second wife, all those kids went to Europe, and then the third wife. The kids like kind of split back and forth and now they live here.

That means like you could literally like you probably know people in like every country.

Oh literally, I've like been to Europe before and like and before I even knew that like met them at them, we just knew that we were family. They were like, oh yeah, stay in, stay here, don't spend any money.

That sucks because like what if you try to hook up and you're like, wait, my cousin, it could be mad cousins over here, I mean obviously.

And so sort of and that's kind of why I'm like I am afraid to date any Nigerian people just because we might end up related.

Honestly and truly, that's a that's a real fear. And he hey, you know what I mean Nigerian. I mean you're dating everybody else, everybody any other country. Not just kidding, but yeah, that's like that side.

And then my mom most of the people are either in Barbados or here, but it's like very big, like extended family. And then both of my parents met and were like, oh, one kid. Oh we're not a one child, Like so you're an only child.

Oh my god.

Yeah, it's just me and my oldest parents.

Yeah.

You know what, when I talk sometimes i'm around you, I feel you give me like only child vibes.

I mean, I yeah, then that's that's it's not I don't know what if that's good or bad.

No, it's good. It's good.

Honestly, as I'm a middle child and I don't pick up really on only child vibes.

I feel like only children are weird for actually an only child.

Actually, no, I'm I'm the first girl, okay.

And I'm a middle kid, right, and I'm a middle kid.

All my cousins like for the most part, most of them are dudes, and so like they they all I was kind of like baby sister to a lot of them. But then it's like me and my parents and they also because they both like most of my aunts and uncles have like a lot of kids, right, and then my parents like waited till they were like in their thirties and which which now isn't that no, because I feel like I'm gonna get forty eight, I'm gonna.

Be Jene Jackson fret.

Yeah, but I just feel like it's like the Christian thing plus the immigrant thing, like they were kind of like outliers in the sense they're one kid, We're gonna wait until we can actually afford to have a kid. Also, yeah, and so I.

Mean like, if you're gonna have a baby, I feel like the best way to do it is when.

You're not poor. You know.

It feels just like kind when you're.

Not that poor, because poor people can have babies.

Look at my parents, Look at my parents, I mean parent I feel like my mom just had just it was just hers. Yeah, like got some sperm off the street, off the street, yeah, just off the street sperm and then just have makes.

I feel like I will sort of do a version of that.

At some point. Really, yeah, you Turkey based it, maybe, Yeah, what.

Are your requirements for the for the Turkey baster? Like what he got to what do you have to have or be?

He should be tall?

Obviously, Well that's what. Have you ever been to the sperm bank? That's a requirement you have to be?

I have five more. They will not accept sperm.

Sperm banks looking at what the requirements.

Oh, there was this guy who was at an open mic talking about he was like trying to get money and he was trying to donate his sperm and they're like, ah, you're.

Five five damn, we want no parts.

And I was like, why does the sperm bank have better? Requirements? Are like standards most like the most? Yes, that's crazy.

I feel like that's such a nice way to think of it. It's like I I have to think of myself as a sperm bank, you know, no, no, no, but like it's like I have to think of myself as a sperm bank because the sky high tall and do you have to you know background check?

Yeah, they're crazy.

Absolutely, you guys are insane, absolutely out of my mind.

Yeah, I'm with you. Because I'm a lesbian, so I have to go have to.

Yeah.

Well, actually, I feel like my partner, whoever it may be, is gonna say, hey, why don't we just get a friend, Why don't we get his sperm?

Right? Because you know, we gotta cut corners.

Yeah, honestly, use one of ninety eight cousins.

That's true.

And here's what I'll say. Some of them are very tall and some of them are.

You know, I saw the pictures on your Instagram from your yeah.

That sort of.

Honestly, I might have to stop posting my family because there are people who will be like, who's that cousin? Yeah, who's that? Uh?

I introduced me to one of your cousin's girl. What's going on?

Listen next wedding? There's some, there's some in New York. If you want to come to a Nigerian wedding, I'll get three dress. No, yeah, get you. We'll get your dress and we'll figure it out.

Yeah, let's do it.

You'll just do one.

Story is so wonderful, let's get into it. So I really want to get into this. Uh free loading.

Well, you have to, you're young.

We gotta we gotta survive. Yeah, I love it because after school, it's like, yeah, you're on your own.

Right I am. And also my parents were very much like I mean even in school they and not in a like bad way or whatever, but just realistically they weren't like doing the n YU were going to pay for every single second of your life. They were like, all right, you made this decision. You're an adult, like you have to understand how money works.

And so when you were like low on cash, as like a freshman or a sophomore, you couldn't be like, hey, can you put some money uh in my account and my dad would be like why that was my dad too. But I always was just like for books. Yeah, it was always for I need more money for books. Yeah.

And I was not using the money for books.

No, I mean, no, are you selling your swipes?

I before.

Before I I love a good n y U scam. One of my more favorite scams was I used my like so they gave me a financial aid package for housing.

Yes, and then you got the you got reimbursed and I.

I got reimbursed and so then I didn't live in housing and I and I like used that money to write an apartment, which was like thousands of dollars cheaper per month than the n YU housing. And then I used that extra money for like stuff that I wanted, and then the rest I used to preemptively like pay back some of my loans.

Oh my god, where was the apartment that you ended up staying?

It was like in like Bushwick, Washington. Yeah, it was like deep repo real. I was, but like but like nice with two friends and I was like, was it nice.

Or was there a crackhead opened the door for y'all that was like have a good day? So I was.

We definitely did live next to like some sort of like gang a gang. We lived next door to like a gang house, like a gang house, a gang ahead. And we had a really hot neighbor. His name was Alejandro, and he was so hot and when he saw me just like completely fall and eat face and it was really horrific.

That turns men on, though when you fall.

It might be something a little lost due it's just maybe sexual translation. But I know in that moment, I was like I was like doing my laundry, like I had this huge laundry basket wearing these short shorts, and he was like hey, and I was like oh, hi whatever whatever, walking walking fall immediately just fell and ate total face and I was.

Like, well, that's into the cloth or on the concrete.

Real hard concrete, real hard cock. But then they were fine, and he was also like, are you okay. I was like, yeah, I'm good, I'm all right, I'm really great, actually goods.

Like one of my greatest fears is falling in public. Yeah, like I hate that.

I think I have never I've never fell as hard as I did that day. Like it also was like you know, normally when you fall, there's some sort of like there's a little bit up and then you sort of do the hit. It was full, like just forward. Yeah, there was no there was no space, there.

Was no listen. I don't want to hear none of this.

I hopped the curve with my bike and flew to off and I was I had fox locks and one of them came out.

It was always painful to see a lock in the street and just sort of wonder the backstory, you know, poor.

A little out for him, like a braid when they call those hood snakes hood snakes something like that. You see like a braid on the ground and you're like, oh, somebody got into a fight or has to go see their hair dresser this weekend.

They got into the fight with gravity oh all day and lost.

So wait that was shut up. That was a great scam with your school. What's what's the next scam after that? You can make sure you're not paying for anything.

Well, I love just like small scams. I have a very young sounding voice. Yeah, and like you sound like a cartoon and like a young presence. And I feel like I'm very good at using that. Like if you know what your what your asset is, I feel like that is something key. Like some people you have a very sexual energy, and it's like if you need to use that, use that to your advantage.

Me.

I know my energy. You know, it's the youth. It's the sort of like a like a sexually vibe. It's like, what's the deal. But I want to help it? H And so it's like all right, absolutely, I present myself to be helped.

I want to invest.

I want to yes, invest in talk about this. I feel like I'm well, I'm really good at like small scams. Like I'll befriend like an entire coffee shop and then I'll just like then it's like, well, now I don't have to pay for coffee anymore. I have like several coffee shop I feel like also, I like, now you know, my spot's gonna get a little blown up. I have like like I have at least two coffee shops in in like in like each borough like where. It's like I and you know I because you don't want to

Stuff and thrown them beans back in her exactly. Well.

Also, you know it's good if you go to another coffee shop and you're like, oh, I was at this other coffee shop and they had to be better than that, yes, And you get like yeah, because they want to because they want to competet.

Yeah.

Yeah, I just go to coffee shops to like pee and use the wi fi. I didn't know they was given away.

Coffee, find the community, make them you.

But how many times are you how many times in like a month would you say that you go to like one particular coffee shop? Oh, like how you how you foster in these relations? You gotta do like maybe once a week.

Yeah, like twice, maybe once or twice okay, Yeah.

Because when I was waitress and you have regulars, yeah, and it's just people that you enjoy their company and you love when they're in the room.

Yeah, you feel like, oh, let me get you a drink. You are some fool, Like what do you want? Let me take care of you.

And those people are far and in between, like you never know if they're like trying to scam you or they're just a good person, right, So you have to you have to decipher sometimes in the conversation like hmmm, are.

You doing this all the time? Are you waiting for me to give you something free? Are you asking me?

Because there are people who do do it all the time.

Yeah, that's sort of where those people are foster.

It's like I think it's like I have to sort of balance. I have to like balance my energy, you know what I mean? It's like, I gotta make sure that I don't oh D because then it's like then you just go through a spell and you're like, wait a minute, I haven't gotten anything free for old freaking two months. What's up with that?

Yeah, that's not going back two months.

That's horrible.

Two days. I go for two days. If I don't get something free, I'm like, I'm never coming back here.

I got to be thoughtful to yeah, come in and bring ship, like, oh, I just happen to have this extra ticket to my show.

You're not a comparing gifts?

Yes, yeah, man, I'll listen to your freaking song on Spotify.

Have to tweet something, tweet it.

I'm making a community and I'm getting free things. I'm making make community, you make it. I mean, it's an honor. It's an honor.

I love to learn. So you got the coffee, You got the coffee game on lock?

What else? Well, okay, I will say, even though I don't like going on dates, I do like going on dates and getting for free.

Just feed me. I'm hungry. My friend is empty.

Yeah.

I don't know any woman that's not doing that. I mean, there are women who pay on.

These days and it's like, don't you know my friends? I mean, they outfit, but they're not in my community.

Now to do it, don't do it? I will I do love. Like sometimes you can feel that split second, like that split half a second where it's like you think you're not going to pay for this.

But you are. That hurts, but you are hurts.

The dude I went on a date with on Monday, we went to get tacos and the guy was like, do you want anything to drink? The server dude and the guy that I was out with was like, yeah, she got water, right, you got a water bottle.

I was like, I want one of these war ritos? What those jus? Those Mexican?

Yeah, I want one of I don't know, I don't And I was like, you won't even let me get a jip?

Wow, I got water over there. I was like, those are cheap.

I'm definitely coming to your house to print some stuff and I'm not going to show you my boy.

Honestly, I'm for you on that. Thank you.

Dang how dare He's so crazy? He should have got man, you gotta get to worried us.

I did.

So, you got a lot of people who you know no people and who probably actually do have tons of money. Yeah, so everybody has that one person in the group that you're like, she might not have it, so let's let's pay for her.

Are you that person?

I do your friends show show up and show out?

Well, part of the problem was I gotta I was one of the first friends in my group to like get a writing job, and so after that happened, you know what I mean, Like you have money now it's like, yeah, I stole a free stuff honestly, and also I don't. It's not even like that, right, You're not like you're not like you haven't sold a shove. Yeah, I'm not freaking writing for sign Fields do make good money, though, I mean I can eat, I can put my repok at.

You be a modest bitch, I know, just some people out here making cakes on writing. I don't know you was at BT so actually, yeah, come through with the receipts.

It wasn't how much money, was it, really?

I mean you could tell us off the pain, that's right, you on medicaid. She definitely don't have blue Cross. He doesn't give you blue cross blue shield, No, not at all. They're like he's a band aid and a receipt for a chicken. There's an urgent carrying neighborhood.

Go there, Mari.

This is why we don't get hired for ship yo. Honestly, we will drag a place, a network down to a round.

I don't think they have any more thought of emplogued me.

So I'm fine.

The beach a sucker. Wow, yeah, I said it, but I haven't last.

She said she didn't know for sure. She was on a cusp about getting high.

Hard line sucker dick, hard line. You need to a hard suck a hard dick.

Do rock paper scissors on cutting that out, leave it in.

I stand by anxious, beautiful white smiles across the room, anxious beautiful.

Oh see that's you should write.

That's a poem you are, that's a show anxious beautiful minds, white smiles.

I was anxiously nice.

Okay, cool, So what's the most expensive things like your friends might have put together for you?

One night I went out with friends to like a like a club, and I also was like, I don't like like clubs make me anxious weird, I mean, like you have club experience.

No, but it makes me anxious. Now, as a sober person.

Yeah, they're just like a little anxiety inducing and also like I don't just like the sweat and the fuck in the air. It's it's like it's.

Got to use the creative heat the air.

They get that.

Some shirts, Oh my god, it's so weird. Just shirt shirts, shirts right now.

Lots of merch.

I can't wait.

I really, I really would love a jacket that has each sleeve in one says straight as that's insane, so good and so good, or like a front back T shirts situation. I'm just pitching, just pitching.

So you're at the club.

We're at the club and we're getting drunks.

And what's your poison? What are you drinking?

I like whiskey. I like whiskey dark.

Yeah, I don't say that. You give me vodkavi.

I do I look like a like a vodka cranberry girl, And.

That's okay, No, no, no, you give me like mixed cocktail like a long berry, like.

A watermelon martini.

Water.

I do love the cocktail though, come on, but we but we were this was also like but they were getting like bottles and like yeah, this is like a club of clob like you know, like going hard, lights and flashing people dancing.

We give us, give us the look.

I was wearing like a skirt and a shirt. Yeah, you wear a skirt I every now and again. You got to switch it up sometimes. But I knew that I was going out and so and I also I think I wore like a boot with a heel because I wasn't gonna do like full you know, skinny heels stiletto situation. I mean, just absolutely not. I was like, I already can feel myself on the train back home, so I'm gonna try to leaves so.

Your friend's not getting you a cab after well, so then here we go. And so we're at the club whatever. It's inks and it's oks and it's ONNSEN and I'm like, we're getting a lot of drinks right to like my my other friend who's like closest to the to the rich dude, and she's like whatever, and I'm like, okay, cool, cool.

Also, this is important to note they are Korean and Korean American Sir frows so crazy, but it's like adjacent to that crew. Yeah, so it's like they're Koreating Korean Americans and whatever. And like when I hung out with them before we're hanging out, you know, we're eating like whatever food, you know what I mean, like good food, yeah, but it's nothing like too extravagant, right, And and so in my mind, I'm like, okay, these are just like n YU people who have you know, enough money to

And nobody had sex with him that night.

No, Wow, that's a good friend. That's what I'm telling you. This is why Ronney's dudes day money.

It's fine. It's on his mom's card.

It's on his mom's card.

It's fine, it's his mom. As much as you can.

Yes see, ladies don't feel bad about like spending some man's money.

Right, it might be his mom's money, but whatever, spend her money and.

Spending his dad's money, and the cycle, you know, and the circle. I also feel like any time whena because like I definitely do know like people who are like, oh, but it's like if you do that, then there's the expectation of sex or whatever. But there's no better time than now to just be like, so what you expected sex?

Yes, you know what I mean, pull that card out, pull it, pull.

It, pull it hard, and make them feel horrible.

They won't.

They won't, Yeah, they won't be like actually that bill twenty one hundred dollars.

Yeah, I actually do expect it.

I'd be like, I only had twelve drinks time, so I'm not paying this.

With me.

I'm sorry, my vagina does not cost twelve vodka sodas. Yeah, sorry, I'm sorry. I'm worth more than twenty five hundred dollars.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, all right, and that's.

That well, you know what it's it's crazy when you say going out with your friends now that I'm a comedian and they know that I ain't got no coins, when they invite me to dinners when they go out and they already know I have Nathan's on it. One time we're at a dinner and they're like, oh, well, divided by seven and they're like, oh, oh, actually divide. Yeah, you didn't see me that I'm wearing this orange jacket boot.

I'm here, I was eating all the Yeah.

It is also weird like having friends who are like more successful, like and like have like either like better writing jobs, are acting on it or whatever, and like actually have money. And then like because there will be moments where I'm going out with people and I'm like, oh, this person just walked away, or they're paying the entire bill for everyone.

Oh I love that.

I love when we're to come and somebody already paid and they're like all right, let's go, And You're like, wait, because you pretend to reach you, I pretend to.

Reach I feel like what the pretend to reach? This is crucial No, it's annoying. I mean we've done it so many times. Like as a waitress, I'm like, let's not play this game already.

You know you're not gonna pay.

Yeah, Like, just give me a fucking card that we're gonna use and stop these games.

I don't have time for the bad game.

No.

I mean like when the friend gets up and pretend to going to the bathroom and they pay for everybody.

Yeah, then you're at the table after it's already paid, like.

Oh well I was gonna oh okay, well thank you.

That friend is usually wearing like a slide like that. The friend usually the backless shoe. It doesn't look like they're the person who's gonna be paying, but they do.

They're sort of like a disheveled.

Hair y going like as you wash today, like you know, like a Steve Jobs like cold.

Jean right yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

I love those friends.

I love those friends, like no matter how many times they wash their face, there will always be a little bit of eyeliner. Yes, I love those friends.

Yes.

What about okay, so you got your friends, you do all that? What about any venmo situations? Because that's what's going on now, Like friends, people are on social media. Hey, I would love if anybody could veno me for my birthday or for like my cat died for my tooth.

I haven't done that yet.

I have not done that yet, but I and and a lot of days, like I think.

About it, honestly, for your birthday, it's I Sidney said. My birthday was like two weeks ago. And Sidney was like, if anybody wants to venmo Marie for her birthday, her Venmo was Marie Foss And.

For my birthday, okay.

I did a show where the guy, like the person who like put the show together, was like, here are these comics and here are their venmos. If you like them, venmo them. And I was like, hah, no one's going to Oh my god, people venmoed me for a joke. It was, which is like, but it was fun.

We should do that, like for our show. We should like we should have people.

It kind of was. It was like a cool idea. And I have a friend who started one of those like astrology meme accounts. Do you know this there's like a lot of name Her name is Courtney.

Okay, but the the but that sounds like a Courtney move.

I mean listen. When it first started, I was like, oh, okay, this is cool that she made this thing. And then she was like, I'm quitting my job, and I was like this, wait hold on. But literally people will venmo her for memes, and I mean she like also does other things like like writing and stuff like, but like people like will send her money for her online content.

How many followers you get?

Uh? I think like two hundred and fifty k or something like it, like atrology, It like blew up, she's doing well, She's.

Right, quob listen, I am doing it all wrong. Yes, honestly, there's some.

Fans, like real fans, people who like fans will ride or die.

They will support you for real.

Yeah, they'll help you free load.

I got to get two hundred fifty thou friends? Hey, unofficial expert followers or fans or whatever? Are you a real one? Are you straight as.

If you're gas hell, you can find us all on venomo. If you're straight as fuck, you can also find me on vemo.

Uh what about adults? I feel like you got the power to scam some adults.

Oh, because you got that like little like like hey.

Yeah, and it's sort of like an orphan like a lost in New York City orphan vibe. Yeah, I've definitely had like several just like gotten dinners. I love to go to a dinner and yeah, I'm I'm sorry. I'm obsessed with dinner.

Sydney, and I like, I feel like we've gotten to some really some real nice, just eventful dinner.

We got some events coming up. We had an event coming up next week.

Yeah, we're always on the on the go and working our way to get to the next level of scamming.

What else can we get for free?

Why?

I recently my big crusade right now, my foot was run over by an uber recently, right and this is sort of my My foot was run over by an uber. It's my right foot. I'm now in a shoe bravely, I'm in a sneaker, but it was run over and I had a hairline fracture.

Fuck camera.

It was a Toyota and he ran over my foot. Wait, can you I I was I was going to an engagement party and I was getting out of the Uber and I had and I was stepping out and he already started driving away and he drove over my foot and I was like, no, you drove over my foot and he backed up to hear me over my foot, and I was like, you should go, because that is like my gut reaction to just anything. I like picked the wrong emotion to feel and sort of like flight

Wait, he ran over your foot twice time. So he ran over it then backed up over it, and you said you should go, And then then what happened? You go to this party?

So I step in and I immediately go, oh, my foot just got run over twice. So I called another uber because I have no shame, and that one took me to the city m D. Yes I went to a city MD.

There's nothing wrong with that.

Yes, I went to my summer home the City, MD and my second home the Union Square, City MD. And and one time I went there with true sorry is that I went there with a friend and the woman from the front desk recognized me. She was like, no fromming to the City MD. So often just like hi, And I was like, good to see you again, Kathy, and so looked at my foot and I so I like emailed uber and I was like this happened, Like

Honestly, I feel like that's what you're gonna say that you got. We're working on it.

We're working on it. Is that Okay, so Uber paid, they paid the hospital bill, and they paid for the Ubers to and from so that night is covered. But I want it more. I was like, I want every Uber I had to take when I was when I was freaking booted right, like right.

And did you miss the engagement party? Oh yeah, of course she did.

Should pay you, should reimburse you for that, right.

Got to you like I paid for the gift and an outfit.

I got my hair done, huh, yes, I got you gotta get me new shoes because now my foot this.

Is now a part of my case, I'm gonna need the taste for this taste draft something for you girl. Honestly, maybe I'm not might break my foot tonight. I'm not to get hammered to the foot tonight.

Get out forever.

That's my case. All the rock tapes, oh my gosh, I'm in court.

I'm crying like they are, Like on the September, I don't even know what date is, October whatever, You're on the unofficial expert saying you were going to take a hammer to the foods.

I have no idea what you're talking about. I'll be speaking to my lawyer now.

Objection. My lawyer is you.

I'm like overall, just like you can't say that. I'm like, but I just ate Boston Esquire. I see you, Boston, Washington and gay that's a great actually good okay, merch again, content and gay that's what it is.

So these are all good. But I feel like I beat you on this because.

I do you freeload.

My friend was scamming this, not scamming this, but this dude kept like buying her purses taking around. These are kind of bags Chanel, like the big one, the jumbo bag, like the one that's clunky, the one that's like over five thousand dollars. He's like, I want to go to Miami and I want to take you. And she's like, or cool, but you got to bring my friend Sidney because I don't want to go. I don't feel comfortable

I don't pay for a dime. Pays for the drugs or food. Everything. Yeah, to drugs and the food yeah. And the flight, yes, and the flight.

I the day before we're supposed to leave, my Auntie was like dying and I'm in full on teers and I looked at the flight to change and it was like six hundred dollars to go to California from Miami, and I was like, I don't have this money.

He's like, don't worry.

He bought my ticket to freaking California and back to New York City.

Yeah, have me be the two tickets.

I said what? And my friend didn't give him. No cat not not one not.

She would she told you if she slept with him, would have told you, yes, she would have.

We're roommates. That don't mean nothing. I don't even know my middle night, not me. I was.

I was sleeping in her bed when she wasn't there, Okay, I was waiting for her.

You owed for us or not?

You were sleeping in her bed when she why?

And you're probably eating all types of crunchy.

I wouldn't eat her bed, but I was definitely waiting around, Like, so you got us some money this week?

Him?

Yeah, yeah, she was him exactly yeah.

But when when when that happened, I was like, oh man, I can't even imagine what these other girls are getting, girls who actually have like body I looked like him, K Like I can't even I.

Have like a friend of a friend who like met an older dude like literally and seeking arrangement and now they've been together for like forty years and she has everything.

And how much older than her is he?

She's my age and he early millions. It's like, well he's like it's like one like a long island like rich man. Like what she's just like is either in that house or like traveling wherever she wants.

Do you ever feel bad?

Do I ever feel bad?

I'm not like being able to contribute sometimes, like I don't have it.

No, No, sometimes I do, but I do. I'm like, maybe I should just make an account, you know, I just you know what.

This is what I'm afraid of because I feel like everybody, every female that went to college has made an account or thought about making an account or whatever, because we ain't got no money when we're in school.

But I'm just afraid that somebody, I know it's.

Gonna see me on one of these things and be like, marieh, what what's this?

What do you want to know me? What's this?

You would want to look like dollars dot Com? You look like exactly I'm trying to get. I'm trying to get a bag to secure the bag. Secure all about secure the bags. I went on a date with this dude that was also dating this woman and who somebody at Tesla or somebody at like one of these like

Is that so? I mean, and it happened earlier. But I have too much heart sometimes where I'm just like and and that's and that's sort of the what makes my free loading work, but also is a crutch, you know what I mean, which is like I might not I don't know if I'll get if I'll get the apartment. Could you got to be ruthless, But you got to be ruthless if you want the building in your name.

In your name.

But you're a good person and I appreciate you because you want to give back.

Yeah, like that's good karma. I think, thank you.

And if any executive right now is listening to this and sort of here's my good.

Heart, you know, here's my fashion.

You know, I will I will take an apartment. I'll start a charity in both of our names, but will you take a dick for the apartment?

And Sydney?

Okay, but were you saying a sentence earlier?

This is this is the.

Saying you said you will take the you'll take the apartment, but will you take a dick for the apartment.

I'm a lawyer, no, no, no, no, no.

It's Sidney. I'm gonna see you sis.

If a dude, it's like you got to sleep with me, and you know I'm ready to sign the papers right now. The apartment in your name in in Soho or Troba or the hell wherever you need it to be.

Is it like once.

It's for a week?

A week, you gotta take the so one dick five times O man for a whole apartment in my name and your name. There's a two bedroom, there's a terrorists.

Is there laundry in the building, laundry in the units?

Are taking the dick for five days?

She said, there's laundry?

She said, there's.

Laundry, Sydney, Sidney, you would take the dick for five days for all that? I can't you mean you can't You rather live where you live than get the terrify. I'll find a way to get it, giving you.

The dick on my own. Just take the dick, said no, listeners, I'm giving I'm throwing the question back.

I'm giving all of you an apartment.

If you say you'll take the doll I just know, would you take the dick? Absolutely everybody else take the.

Do I think I'd take the five.

Day, you would take the dick anyway, just for free.

Basement apartment.

And I'm also imagining in my situation in my in my mind, like in the simulation. In my mind, he's like kind of he's kind of gross.

He is kind of gross.

Okay, because people who are not gross aren't doing it, That's true. You gotta be a little bit gross, be like a little be like, okay, well give me the part. He looks like a quasi moto okay, but like but like in a suit.

And I'm glad you have a heart, and I'm glad that you always think and you're and you're so young, and it's like you you're not even you're not even down on your luck yet.

Girl, you know what I mean. It might not come for her, that might not ever happen. That's what I'm This is what I'm feeling the vibes. And it's beautiful because I.

Get exposed tomorrow on Vulture dot Com.

I don't know for what. Why would they listen if they expose you. I was like, that's a hate crime in itself.

Thank you. I'm secretly a war criminal. I'm actually evil.

I'm thinking about this imaginary dick.

I just I feel like, yeah, you said laundry and in the unit.

In the unit, throw an extra printer in there.

My friends come over print all their ship. It's not just for me, it's for my community, for the community. Sid I'll take the dick so you can come over.

And honestly, that's how that's how my freeloading works. I get people who will do the dirty work because I'm not good at it. Yeah, I'll be honest.

I think too much.

I'm very sober, I'm too old, Like I'm not pulling you only twenty five, Yeah, twenty five. I'm in a mature twenty five that also went through the civil rights Like, I'm not doing it.

So I pick people who are like, she's gonna she gonna do this for the team. Yeah you know, yeah, I need that. I'm not judging. If you take it, you judge.

It looks like, yeah, you held my hand and then released.

It immediately today you are not my daughter.

I flew to the other side of the room. No, it is good to have like schemer. I feel like it's nice to have schemers around.

Yeah.

Yeah, you gotta have friends that like watch your back. Also, you gotta have like a fully charged phone. Yeah, and you got to send pictures and drop pins at all times so people know where you at.

And that's basically like, that's my advice for people who are listening.

Do you have any like, if you two three bits of advice, I would don't.

I don't make your friends make them feel like you're using them. That's the number one rule. Like your friends won't because like when you really need them, when you really freaking need them, like they're not gonna be there because like, hey, bitch, remember you said you was going to borrow to six hundred dollars and you never gave it back and then I see you stunting on the ground. Yes, yeah,

I'm like, buck, I wish I could call that friend. Yeah, do you have any pieces of words of advice or wisdom?

I say, I think you got uh you know, find what's true to you. Uh you know, and uh holding in on honing in on on that and uh.

It's very vague. Yeah, that's real vague what that means.

What that means is like, uh, if if you think that you're a seeking arrangement sort of person, you know, it's like go there. If you know that you're like a smaller schemes building up, go there. Don't be afraid to freeload.

So also you own it.

I just if you're gonna do it, do it. I used to when I was in high school. I would ask people for change, like IM like does it may have a quarter or like a dollar, and then I would use that money to like buy food, I buy lunch because I would panhandled. I excuse me, ladies.

And gentlemen, that's anybody else.

And I would ask people like directly, can I have a court because a bagel was like fifty cents, And so you would just sort of like collect yes every day. And I was like, people must have thought I was like the homeless dude.

On the train.

Yeah, you literally were literally a homeless man on the train yesterday asked me for change. And I got a flashback of me doing the same thing in high school, and I was like, oh, that was me in like a couple of years, like that was that was me?

Yeah, definitely.

Anyway, if you loved this episode, and I know that you did, make sure you rate, comment and subscribe. Yes, and uh, listen to our Sugar Daddy Expert episode because she was talking about all the stuff that she was getting.

And you know, yeah, but I think.

That's a different type of freeloading. That's like a real life freeloading.

That's a.

Yeah.

This is like little by little.

Little thing coffee, coffees, urgent.

Care meals every now and again, maybe a trip or.

Two, maybe an apartment with a terrorists.

Okay, anyway, maybe Uber Uber, if you're listening to me give me my ride, you're going to at uber.

And be like, dude, you rolled over our friend's foot twice twice, right, run us our money.

It's us an our money. We're together.

Okay, cool, we can talk about that. Well, we just the account sure like it like it is sort of my foot, but it's our money. Yes, Uber, Okay, pleep got pimped up by the end of this episode.

But this is the free loading episode.

You just and I and okay, and then I just saw it an action.

You know where you are. If you get free ubers, you better hit me up and take me up.

But that's what If I do get free ubers, I immediately it will be for the comedy community. No no, no, no, no, no no, just okay, got it just to okay, okay, got it just for you to excuse.

Me because I had an uber the record police, I had an uber a hookup and Marie hasn't got me an uber yet.

Oh I.

Was taking yea, she get.

A little colds.

People do a little cold on uber off Sydney. You are bringing it back to like the past, that was like twenty sixteen. I can't tell you I haven't had an Ober six she hadn't take care of me since I'm waiting.

Remember that we had it. We had a show and you were like, I'll take it anyways, what like the uber?

Is that true?

Is that false? No? Wait?

Which will you?

You had?

You had the Sydney had a connect Yes, and I was getting free ubers you had.

We had a show and then you were like there was like a super expensive trip or whatever.

Yeah, I have to break that to break them up. Yeah, it was twenty dollars each.

Right, Sydney had a hookup. She could take twenty dollars rides for free. So if we were going somewhere that was on course forty dollars, we had.

To take two ubers.

Yes, if we were going from Manhattan to Brooklyn, we had to take six ubers.

Like there was a night that we were uptown. We were in Harlem and we were trying to get to Bushwick and we took it.

It was like fun.

We took edibles and then it turned into the journey to get to this house party in Bushwick and we had to take the Apple store. We had to take like eight different uber right, because it couldn't be it was.

It was so fun. Actually, it was the most fun we've had. It was. It was more fun than the party. We got to the party, we were like, oh this is trash. Yeah, let's get back a uber again.

Yeah, we should be in an uber again. We ate cake and then left. I haven't spoken to that girl since.

I mean, honestly, she's dead to us. Yeah, because we don't give settle to Abigail. Thank you so much. Oh my, all right, we gotta go. Guys.

Rate the podcast. Yes, subscribe to the podcast. Yes, take your friends raggedy ass phone, Yes and subscribe on that. Give us twelve stars.

Yes, and then vemo us and then vemo Us. I'm Marie Foston on Vemo Foston, and then Austin like Texas, I'm Sydney Dash Washington.

There you go, I'm io Dash Debris and you can sort of look to see how it's spelled.

It's gonna be on our Instagram.

Yeah, and then I mean if you can't figure it out, then then sort of best.

Of luck to you, no sense, it's best luck to you. How do you spell your name?

A Y O E D E BS and boy I R I all right?

And if anybody listening is given terraces for Dick for five days, yeah, you know, hit me.

You know the two people that will do it.

We're gonna end on. We're gonna end on.

Sydney lost the tooth last week, so I actually really need the vemo okay, and so misplaced is gone?

You lost it? It's how.

So yes, send it to my digital We thank you, guys, goodbye bye for.

This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Bauham, Joe Scilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Foreverdog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking out page on Facebook.