"The Diva Expert" with Matteo Lane

Hello, Hello, Welcome to the Unofficial Expert Podcast.

Hi guys, it's Marie and Sydney.

What up girl? Are you doing?

Oh? You know, I'm a little tired, but I'm getting through. I wanted to say that you look tired. You got a lot of nerve with your headscarf on. Wow, you left your house with your house face and came.

To my house.

This is my house. Okay, that couch. Welcome to my house.

Oh my god, I hate that song where it's Marie's house. Welcome to my house.

Sydney s leaves on my.

In tie. Who Finney, what the hell are you an expert in this week?

What's okay? I was an expert in being there for a friend. That sounds like something you've been an expert in several times.

Okay, well it's not my fault if I'm a good shelter to cry on and lean on. Okay, don't be mad because nobody be calling you up. Save the no better.

My phone is on do not disturb. Oh my god, you picking up?

She I am your dearest friend and you have me on do not disturb And I'm like.

You've been calling me at inconvenient times, like like Batman hours, Like when the bats are up, I'd be like, you know, today, I'm not doing this with you today.

This is what happens. I will call you, text you nothing.

Right. Then I'll see you on Instagram like like la la la la la.

You'll be liking should just just sold you so I know that you're on I got interact with my fans anyway.

You were like, hey girl, some people you.

Don't even know I copy and paste coming, you know, let me not say that because people that's what some of the people.

Listening I comment too.

You're like, yes, squee, and.

It'll be like a picture of somebody's like funeral pamphlet. Yes, And they'd be like.

So, anyway, I was an expert at being a good friend. A friend was in some some real desperate time. I will not but I had to put a friend in my over account. Oh yeah, I usually don't do that because one time I did that and a friend threw us spilled his Hennessy out out of his Coca Cola can, and then they charged me one hundred dollars for the.

It smells disgusting. They put hen set in a Coca Cola cane. Yes, they did don't was this friend going brought me? What friend this is? But just know it starts with a J and it was ends with an S. Jonas Jons.

His name is Jonas and we work together and he doesn't he your boss?

No, damn girl. Oh I'm thinking of the other. Okay, all right, well never mind. You know what, Mari, Well, don't you know what white Jonas and a black Jonas I.

Do in my phone?

In my phone it's a W Jonas and a B Jonas well, black Jonas because it's Tennessee, right.

So I had to put a friend and my uber.

I didn't put them in an uber pool because that's how great I am. The problem is the cab was fifty dollars in thirty three cents, girl, And I was like, why do you think that for myself?

Oh? I walk my friend to the train and give them a swipe.

Make when you wait, Marie, when you were high on edibles, when you were fucked up, you didn't even want to put yourself in your own cab.

Jef, you were like, I walk home, It's fine.

I was like, what is this? So?

How many how many blocks? Sonnets? Yeah?

They get home?

So I put him in my cab and then I'm watching the thing because I need to see when he gets out so I can get in because I don't care about my money, right, I got a couple of checks that cleared bits.

I was like, let's do this uber x v I P.

You just got yourself security money. Okay, So he gets in.

I'm thinking the whole time, I'm like, fifty dollars thirty three cents? Should I send him a Venmo request for at least half Yes. He gets out halfway through the trip, and I'm upset because I'm like, yo, you're supposed to be going home.

But the other side, I was like, well.

I'm going to pay thirty dollars instead of fifty dollars and thirty to thirty cents.

Yeah, you're mad, but.

I'm a good friend, Like you would never give your Uber account to any not even me.

I'd be like, let me log out of my phone so you can log into your account on my poe.

I shouldn't say this on the podcast because now people are gonna be pretending that they're in desperate need of an Uber and they're gonna be using my damn account.

Well that just makes you.

Dumb, right, no, you wouldn't do that.

You gotta do it.

If your friend is in need, you got to help them.

I'd be like, give me your phone for me. That's what I said to you.

That's exactly what you did to me. So don't act like the other person is more your phone. Shut up, friends, and I put you in an uberpool though. I was like, you know what, at least somebody else will take care of you. Shut up.

I remember that day too, because I woke up in the uber and I was like, I've been in this uber for legit two hours, and I was like I was by myself with the driver. I didn't know where I was. And I was like, Sydney, why did you leave me? When I called you? And you were like I was never in the uber with hues. Those were all little white women. And I was like, wow, she sounded a lot like you. And then remember I threw up in.

The uber you did and turned and the driver pulled over to get some tissue or condoms or whatever, and I was like, Sydney, I don't know where I am.

I told him that you were a famous comedian.

I was like, get that money, boot, and then I uh, the driver was like we're on Myrtle Ave or whatever.

And I looked up and we were right in front of my ex boyfriend's house. Wow.

And then I was like, yeah, it's not the location that I had put in, but maybe that's where your heart was trying to take you.

That's just where I threw up.

Your heart was trying to take you there, girl, shut up, it was meant to be.

I have no heart, a little a little black stone.

In my chest. Sure.

What were you an expert in this week?

Mainly I was an expert for not being prepared for doing this, But I I feel like I was an expert at.

I had it and then it went away. Are you talking about a baby?

No, man, I'm not talking about no baby. You said I was an expert at not having a baby. Okay, I had not having children, living my best life, you know what I mean? Uh, staying out all day and not eating because I have food in my fridge.

And I'm one of.

These people that's like, I'm not paying for outside food when I have inside food.

That's true. I was an expert at saving I.

Don't know twelve dollars this week.

I don't know how much money I saved but I feel like I've been spending a lot more money on food and drinks and stuff because you're my biggest fear of spending money outside.

First of all, listeners, Marie does not pay for drinks. Just want you to know that she pays for food but not drinks, Sydney.

Sometimes I be paying for my own lemonades.

Okay, I don't pay for my alcohol, right, but I paid for my non alcohol beverages.

They'd be like, you're drinking ginger beer. Okay, well here here it's five dollars and I'm like, somebody here to add some room to this.

You'll have a Coca Cola can of rum like my friend jonas a road Hennessy.

Yes, Sidney, this is this is is getting too black for me uptown.

Okay, sorry, I don't like Hennessy is disgusting.

Well, an expert at you know that.

So that's it just saving money.

I guess next week I'll be more prepared with what I was an expert at. I was, Listen, I was an expert at greasing my scalp mussage in my edges, which that's a really dry Sidney.

Your faull lock is falling in definitely is. It's legit London Bridge, but it's really dread.

My dread bridge is falling down.

For your locks are I'm taking them out tomorrow and I hope you be a good friend and help me take them out.

I'm probably not going to be a good friend.

That's fine, speaking of a great friend. I love the yes that we have today. I mean literally all over your TV screen, everywhere, all over the country, all over the world.

I feel like his passport got some stamps in it.

No, and weren't you in Australia.

No, I just Italy and France. That's what I went to France because.

We're doing guess we didn't even introduce you, Lja Manelli.

He's a comedian, he's a writer. Uh you're what else?

Faggot?

Oh no, we don't say that word on this pogaying here for the next three hours.

We'll go ahead and say that. Do you live your truth? He is our diva expert. It's a mateo Lane mitail Lane.

Hey, guys to say fagot.

I mean whatever you want, Maia, don't let this lesbian censor you.

I mean I wouldn't. I wouldn't have cared either.

I know you don't.

You don't give any damn I would.

All right, you got your best four arms out right now, you don't care what I have to say.

Yeah.

Wait, so but you do a lot of things. You're a comic, yeah, but you also are an artist.

Yeah.

I was a fashion illustrator and storyboard artists for television commercials for years. And I say that I lived in Italy painting, yeah, like portraits and landscapes, and I was.

Like a full blown working artist.

That was my whole life, and everything was built for that career. And then just one day it was like, I think I'd rather tell some jokes in a basement and than in the blink of an eye, I am now killing jokes.

That's great. You gave up all that for this.

I still do it, you know, Like I wrote my own cartoon show that I'm pitching next month, and.

Bob the drag Queen and I are going to do.

A comic strip about like a drag queen superhero, and so I still incorporate it, but just in ways that it's more useful to me.

Now, that's beautiful. Well, listen, when you're work looking for.

A storeboard artists, it's cool, but Also it's like you just have like some gay art director being like.

It's like, all right, fine.

It was for GSW Sky, which I'm sure is not his birth name.

You've never met a Sky, a man, and I'm met a guy named Sky. My manager at Dinosaur Barbecue in Harlem was named Scott Dinosaurbee.

Yesterday was going to go to Dinosaur Barbecue. They were like, We're gonna go to Dinosaur Barbecue and I was like, I was like, well, that's easy to remember because it's a ridiculous name.

It's like the Flintstones. Yeah, Sidney, you used to work at Dinosaur Barbecue. I don't really tell people that I was a host.

I used to work at Michael's and I was fired and the store. You're stealing everything everything. That's what you should do.

If you're an employee, you should steal.

Michaels was asking for it though, free job I've ever had.

I stole something when I was bargaining too.

Then like a part of the job. When I was bargaining, I was stealing bottles.

Of grey Goose, like I was taking like the big bottle of things.

Don't work out in comedy. You really funding it up right now? People are gonna be like, uh.

She steals, yes, but I don't steal jokes though.

I won't name names, but whisper initials.

Just writing on a piece of paper for us the record in French.

I'm gonna say you also speak a bunch of languages too.

You mad cultured, you really are, I know. But I like you because you like what we like. Like you like messy?

Uh? Two women celebrities, Yeah, divas, messy divas.

Who's your favorite diva?

Well, my favorite is an opera singer named Maria Kallas who don't know who it is. I know, no one knows who is unless you're a real old gay. But she was like the ultimate cunt and the ultimate diva. I mean, she was amazing.

She had the makeover, she had the voice, she had, the drama. She had. The early death, Yeah.

The early death.

I need that. Died at fifty three.

Once her love of her life, Aristotle NASAs, who left her after she got an abortion for him for another woman. Once he died, she never left her Paris apartment again and was taking ups and downs and died of a heart attack.

That's scandalous. That's such a like a she.

He was being interviewed because she was the world's greatest singer, like technically, there's no one better than her ever. And she was being interviewed and someone goes, what do you think of your rivals? And she goes, oh, I don't mean to correct you, but I don't have rhymes. I was like, all right, gay icon right there, that's all it takes to be a gay icon.

Why do you get people like people like that so much?

A men love a lot of women with attitude because I think there was a long time we weren't represented in television or media or anything, and so I think it's the closest thing to seeing ourselves and also women being oppressed, especially Black women who are very, very, very strong in the gay community. I think we just saw a lot of ourselves in them, and that was the

Of a caricature. You can you can mimic Patty.

Okay, go get me a giant eyelash. I'll put it on my head and I will sing somewhere over the.

Rainbow to can you sing a Little Give Me a Little Sand?

That's every Patty song. Patty starts at a ten and plateaus.

I mean, it's like she's the only, like, honestly, and I have to say, getting into divas, Patty is the only besides her and stry Sand, They're the only consistent divas, you know what I mean, Like Whitney Houston. Mariah has disappointed me more than Whitney Houston and Whitney Easton died. You know, It's like it's like all these divas just go tumbling and Patty has maintained it.

Patty, did you have any of the Patty Pies?

I've never had a Patty pie.

First of all, you should. And Patty has cobbler, and the cobbler is.

All thief che where god a blueberry piece?

Where is there's peach and then there's peach and then there's like an apple one?

Yes, but did the pie dude do a video on the cobbler, because otherwise.

The cobbler came after. The cobbler came after.

Okay, See, I think I love Patty because she actually she's been saying forever that she cooks.

She loves cooking. Like that's not some bullshit she pulled out.

She's like, I cook and someone throws like a cookbook with her. Like since the sixties, she's been talking about her macaroni and cheese.

She's been talking about all her food, crabcakes.

Oh yeah, I said, I unfortunately know everything about these fucking divas.

But Aretha's like, well, I'll make a croissant, you know, Aretha, get over here.

Aretha is the biggest fucking shadiest woman on the face of the planet.

Should be shady though, keyword being biggest.

First of all, her eyes.

Her eyes are very snuffles okay, very drowsy eye.

She's you ever seen in her fur coat? It is snuffle up.

Against she performed at like the White House or something.

Yeah, Kennedy's not her honor and then she just rips it off, which with those arms and the confidence to have them screaming.

Natural woman. But I have to say, lock.

On, major Woma, you better do it. Sydney sound great.

Did you ever see the one that Kelly Clarkson did where she jumped into a whistle tone.

No, no, oh, it's really good.

Do you feel about Kelly Clarkson.

I actually think she's one of the few people who can still sing.

I mean, was she's still big, that's why, uh when she lost weight, when she got to skinny, the skinny Kelly, I will people weren't really fucking with her like that.

They were like, nah, you gotta get some more weight on you.

And then she's like you got I will meet you. There's like she ran.

Red in Patty's house.

But Kelly can sing in chest tones up into like a F and a G those notes and then that's high.

A G five is super.

High, the highest note that you could hear, the highest note in your chest tones, like the highest. Probably Patty's gotten her voice up to like a bee without mixing, which is like wildly high. But Patty and Wretha both have like a kind of mix in their belt. So like an actual belter, like a G and A are.

Like super actual belter.

Barbara is like a belter.

I don't know a single Barbara stand is like her belting, especially when she was like in her twenties.

Is Patty the bell said the other?

Was it Patty the bell or someone else was doing an interview about how they were saying back in the day, no white woman could sing and her mother goes, no white woman could sing it except for streisand.

Like she Barbara still hold that right now?

Yeah, she's seventy four and sounds great. What about something?

I love that cuckoo, messy French Canadian whirlwind of a ride.

I mean that cuckoo. She is the she is.

That's fair, that's fair.

No, she was cuckoo from day one.

First of all, she's the most uncomfortable person to watch on an interview because she doesn't understand American humor, so like when you're trying to talk to her, she's she's constantly like its great fun me Like it's like like Celene, you know, it's like really uncomfortable. And then she had like the thing is, she had that son a long time ago, who like literally started off as one of the ugliest things I've ever seen.

And then okay, no he was good looking. I mean, who is this for?

And you've seen him when he's now look him up. Now he is one of the most beautiful. He is so beautiful. Oh yes, But there was also Selene's fault She's like, I'll let my chot, my four year old boy's hair grow to the ground and wear like white blankets. He looks like the ring, like a clean a clean ring though a cleaner cleaner, cleaner, cleaner ring.

Yeah.

I like Celine Dion.

Oh.

I love her because she maintains her voice, so you say, but oh yeah. He gave her an award for like American Music Awards, like a couple months ago, and it was so sweet. I actually really love her because she really is like a good mother, a good person, and she was crying and I can't say enough good things about it.

He looks like a step below one direction, like if he got a little bit of work done, he would be very one.

He's also eighteen when he looks like you need some Chris White trips.

This is all that I'm gonna say about him.

Yeah, he's cute.

He do kind of look like he looks like like a Jared Letto lights.

Yeah, very Jared Letto as That's very true.

So Selene, I'm four, Selena, I'm fo Patty, I'm for Mariah. I am so upset, speak on it, speak on this Mariah seven hours. I don't know where to begin First of all, get rid of your manager Stella, she's running your career. Number two, get yourself cleaned up and fire everybody around you.

What do you think that Mariah's on. I think she's on pills, weed and drinking.

She's on pills heavy, Yeah, because she's heavy pills.

Sleepy sleeps when she's in interviews and she just can't sing anymore. She was singing Vision of Love and it was like this like a week ago, and oh my god, it was atrocious. I thought, you're one of the most renowned singers in the world, and now you're forty five wearing a Keith Signierra dress. She's struggling. It's like, girl, we know you have. First of all, I don't know who she's dressing sexy for. I've been her concerts seven times, felt nothing every time, and every one of that concert

Good she will don't want to still feel it.

She will saran wrap that body, throwing a waist trainer.

And she's wearing a fruit roll up put on a.

I'm surprised she hasn't done those tummy tea little things on Instagram.

What's that a tummy tea?

You drink the tea and it's supposed to flatten your tummy, but it just.

Makes you like, it just makes you hours and days and years.

Oh that sounds horrible. So it just gets rid of some bloating, is what it does. It doesn't actually do ship. She's super blood because she need it. She didn't drinking retaining water. And that's what Wendy says. You know, I know Mariyah loves.

To have a splash of champagne.

But Maria, you are crazy girl, Wendy champagne.

Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, Mariah is known to enjoy a splash.

Yeah. I mean, first of all, Wendy like when he's always like, you know, people say that I don't like Maria, and that's not true. But it feels like she hates Mariah. True.

It doesn't sound seem like she likes Beyonce at all either. Wendy doesn't like anybody think Beyonce is a diva.

Like, oh yeah, she's definitely classified as a diva for sure, and diva not in the sense of added diva is like how gays view their divas, like she's a hundred like diva, but Beyonce as a diva, Like you don't really hear much about Beyonce being a bit.

She don't hear her about being.

Well people don't talk like you can't talk.

No, they don't.

People know.

It's not that this is not me saying it. This is Wendy saying it.

No, but I'm saying, like the confidentiality clause at the Nole's compound must be like iron clad because people do not talk.

Nothing that Beyonce does leaks well.

Bob the Dragreen is a great joke.

He's like the most confrontation you've ever seen Beyonce do is stand in the elevator while watching someone else fight for her, like she doesn't you know. Wendy's always like, you know, Beyonce doesn't do any interviews because she's got

The same like flash that Whitney Houston.

Like, Beyonce has just been good, consistently and rising up all the way through her career. I mean, she's done all the right moves. She looks amazing, she sounds great, she's got good music.

Remember that one photo when she fell out of the car drunk.

Do you remember that, yeahs sitting in the car dress on.

Ye.

Good for her, though she pars or something.

That's what I want to see.

Want to see more.

But like Whitney and Mariah were like gigantic, huge flashes that like like took the world.

They have a huge personal I don't think Beyonce has a big person outy, but they both work.

But the thing with Mariah Whitney is they flash big and then goes. You know, it's hard, it's.

Hard to keep up with that. It is hard to keep is a lot. Yeah, Yeah, that's.

Why she's had tous. She doesn't want to do this forever. She have these babies finally.

Well she had that baby.

She know the twins, you kind of them as one baby Maria is saying that she didn't have that. Technically, she didn't have.

A blue eye.

She lip synced to her birth Now I think agrees. Yeah, did you first of all crush thank you crush them. And we made my aunt Cindy, who has had four children, watch that video and she was like, she pointed out something to me besides the crushing part. She goes, when you're pregnant, you do not crouch down like this. You have to have your back back because you're eight months Pregnanty, you cannot sit down like that.

She's like, I've had four kids. Never once was I able to.

Do right because pregnant women will put their hand back and writes, smush down, not this, Sydney.

I feel like that one video and that's all I need.

You, baby, I only need that one video.

Why do you believe that she had because she showed a video of like the stomach to the side, like she ate a.

Burrito once and was like, quick, snap a picture.

And no, I think that that one video. Some people want their bumped. Some people bump doesn't develop until really late.

Until the squishy bumps.

Shut up.

No, it's I have a friend who had abs and six months pressure.

Do you have to admit that it's strange with these twins that this woman was running around as naked as she possibly.

Because I think she wants to prove to people now, she wants to prove that she's no.

She was taking first time mother photos the entire time she was springing it.

This time it was like flower crown, blue suit. Okay, But she's also a different Beyonce. She has evolved. She's actually talking about things in musical.

She don't even Lemonade. She wouldn't even write period. Did she not write her music?

No, Beyonce doesn't write anything.

So she didn't write Lemonadeon, don't write nothing. She can't even read all. I love that girl.

When the Beehive come for the unofficial expert, please leave me out of make sure you subscribe.

And then I just want to say I've been very careful in what I've said so far.

You have, I just want to say, has the Rehive so she's fine?

If someone sent me a bunch of behives, I'd just be fabulous someone's paying attention to me at all.

This is great.

But all the be ives you want, I'll still still filter my photos and put them up.

Do you know the only people do you think? Do you think I have grind her? What do you think I need Instagram for.

The only people who came after me was Azalea Banks is Mermaid fans because what is that? I don't know, but they were. She and I were beefing and they were leaving.

Eve and Azalea Banks were beefing.

Yeah, because I said that she was she shouldn't be allowed to speak for herself because she's crazy.

You don't know anything about her, So there you go.

She's not even like stirring up drama. Nicey, what does she do? She she called me a house slave.

Is she a comedian or a singer?

She was a rapper? She calls you a house lave. And she was like, I'm free and I could talk about whatever I want to talk about. And I was like, she talks.

About race a lot, but I feel like she doesn't some of the things she has valid points in and then the rest of it is just mass in all her craziness.

She's nuts.

Well, she just she likes to stir up controversy, like she was beefing with Rihanna. She was beefing with Zane from one direction she called she called them a sand niggas what she.

Called sing.

She was beefing with Russell Crow.

Well, it's all the bleach that's going into her brain because she was bleaching her.

I have to see a picture of this woman. No you don't. I can't believe I've never Okay, it's better that.

Little girl from the Disney Channel who like roasted her.

Remember she's like like child, she's like fourteen years old. She came to like rid with all the points.

She had a bullet point PowerPoint presentation on Azilia Banks.

It was beautiful as to watch. She was trash. The reads were awesome because it is I love that. Do you guys watch RuPauls Drag Race or anything or no we don't.

I'll look at clips on YouTube or do you know?

Have you been to drag shows?

Have been to drag culture and so okay, yeah, we have to go to Money Exchange show in New York. Okay we'll take us yea yeah, yeah, Monday night's Barracuda and Wednesday at Therapy at eleven pm.

We should all go.

We performed at Therapy before.

Yeah, miss Cracker sometimes you'd miss Cracker. Yeah, yeah, of course they do.

Okay, I love cracker crackers, fabulous with them.

Sorry on it's just like go with my group of gay friends where it's all reading Shane and I'm sitting here it's all reading Shane and I was like, you guys need to come to a drag show.

I've seen you with your group group of gays. You have a good group of games.

Oh my crew, I love them so much. Everyone's tall and like everyone's tall.

And Patty, my friend Patty he is five four and has bright red hair and mustache and walks around Washington Heights in a fur coat. And Verry Joeyanne the scammer Hunt, and then there's Bob the drag queen. And Bob it was his birthday the other day and we went to like when it was his apartment and he was wearing he was walking around his name with a crown and like a cheetah print vests. And we went over to this one place and this woman's like, oh my god, I love your crown.

He's like, oh, thank you so much.

He's like, oh, I was gonna take it, and he goes, oh you want my crown? She goes yeah, it goes bitch I'm not giving it to.

You and keeps walking like in Washington Heights. Yeah, it's great.

I mean, I love my friends, my friend Alfredo, who's mean to everybody.

My friend Alfredo's the tall, cute one.

It's super hot and just mean and we love them.

Do you think the crews are harder than ever?

Like they the pack is stronger, Like I feel like the gays are coming together to trans everything is just people want to stick together now because there's Trump in office.

Yeah, wow, Sutar beat political hot do that in there?

You know you don't even vote.

People don't need to know my business, Marie.

I also think it's like, you know, you just get to a certain point where, like you meet people and you connect. It is harder to make friends when you get older, too, unless you're a comedy.

That's a weird that's a weird world.

I want to make friends when you're older.

No, I don't even want to like try new foods. I don't want to do anything new. I'm like a bitter old queen and I'm like, everyone get away from me. And I listened to like the nineties and nineteen fifties opera But yeah, are we just all sort of connect and love each other and it's.

You know, so, how important do you think entourage is for a diva?

Because like Beyonce ain't got.

No friends, right, Beyonce Angie her cousin, right, But she has Solange.

My cousins are my best even hang out. No Solange, I don't even think has ever met Beyonce.

Shit, she Beyonce has that light skin security guard that's in all the photos with her.

Yeah, big one.

And then like Rihanna has, Rihanna's got friends.

Rihanna's seems like she's got friends, has a good time as in enjoying her fame. She seems like she She's like, you know what, my voice can sometimes sound like beef jerky, but I don't give a shit.

I'm gonna dance, I'm gonna look great.

I feel like Rihanna doesn't have anybody telling her no though.

Ever.

Yeah, but also Beyonce or Beyonce, Rihanna she's like, I don't know, she came out not so precious, so I think she's forgiven.

All these things.

Like Beyonce was like like pitch to us is like, so yeah, a precious, don't like it's like a you know, jewelry or something, so it's harder to maintain that.

Yeah, Rihanna was like, I'm messing my titties out. Let's put on the thought, let's go to Barbados.

Let's smoke.

We would have brown dude in a chacua.

From the beginning, it would if she would have a whole different career. But she came out as like you know, everyone was like, oh, Whitney, like a young innocent girl. And then she married Bobby Brown.

No, but they said that she was. She was doing drugs before she even met She.

Was, but not to the extent like Bobby pushed it. She was a lesbian. She also was oh yeah, yeah, did you see the interview with Sissy Houston without her and Robin with Whitney's friend Robin. They were her best friend who is a lesbian. They were rumored to be together. And then wasn't she there when she died?

She was not there when she died.

But she said, Sis Houston wrote a book and I wrote quotations. I have a friend who ghost wrote that book. But she you think sis Houston is sitting down at chapter one?

I mean no.

So Oprah went to go visit her in her apartment in New Jersey and they were talking and then she got to the topic of Robin and she said, in quotations of what Sissy wrote, she goes, whatever Robin's relationship was with Whitney, it was one that I didn't like. I didn't really like Robin blah blah blah. And then you know, I don't know if that relationship was anything more than friends, but I know I didn't like it. And then so Oprah goes, so do you think that

And the she had like a big Christian following.

No, she did. But isn't the mom like a pastor?

Well she had, yeah, she she that woman should no longer be allowed to sing on television. But did you see her when she's sang back up for Retha Franklin on David Letterman, And.

She was like rolling her eyes literally and Noriy Davis and I have talked about this for he was join. All the other women were like dancing and like Sissy's just standing there. I'm like, why did you even come? Why did you just wanted to be there? She went to make show.

Face she had on that be on Arthur Blazer.

Well, Ritha also was singing an Adele cover like this is just sitting there like just so pissed us is Sissy had some time on All PM. She wasn't really there for them.

Sissy has some day. Will Lean is just a really grumpy woman.

I mean she's old and black. Of course she's grumpy. Yeah, you're allowed to be grumpy.

I'm not begrudging her for that, but I'm just saying, just girl, every time you're on TV, it's like, oh Cissy, Like no one's ever walked away from Mississy Houston in and you're like, what a pleasant woman?

Wonder what do you expect? Yeah, we should put Whitney through a lot, that's for sure.

What is something about Whitney's life that you feel like most people don't know but should know.

This was probably a lesbian suffering or at least by or at least fluid or something.

You know.

I think she got a lot of backlash in the beginning from the black community because they thought that she was too white.

Right.

There was like videos of her at the those are the b et Wars in the eighties, and they were booing her when they played like her music and stuff.

So she had a lot of identity. Well that's how we start. We boo you first to see if you could take it, and then we're like, okay.

You got it, and there is it's similar to gays. Gays, we bring you in and then we just make fun of you, love you for the rest of your life.

Like, oh damn you, she's our queen.

So gays do we're very strange in a coffin, like was the draft. It was a coughin like rolled out stop it tae, yes.

I hate gay people would have yes't say yes? Have you not?

Is there any clips on there or YouTube? There was one drag queen who did like what was that song?

Like taking a splash and then they would like play Whitney's music and then they would play like a toilet swirling and something.

Oh wow, they're really elaborate with their shows, aren't you.

Oh yeah, exact queen show. It's a real show. Yeah, I want to perform. You gotta step it up. I mean, you know, it's a lot better than Hamilton.

It is, Honestly, I went so I went to go see my friend Monett's show, and then I went to go see a Broadway Show'd never seen a Broadway show. When I saw Cats, I got free tickets. Long story, okay, yeah I was. I was like, oh, I'd rather go back and watch the drag show like this.

Cats wasn't good.

Do you think Cats was good? As is embarrassing to say out loud. Do they have new costume? No, they look like they have height.

They don't look those good Will costumes that they had twenty years ago. Cats the the animal version of Rent like all the.

No, I would have preferred that someone I had feline ates and died. Nothing happened. Nothing happened in that show. It's just the cats going down like we're cats, We're cats. I'm like, I know, I bought the ticket. And then you know it's like they like keep talking about the other cats, like.

I'm Gusti's the cat not the thief to the door. I'm like, is a dog gonna show up or something? And then Grizabella comes out and they don't like her, and then I think she got abducted by an alien. It was really a weird play. Nothing. How long was this dam play? Oh like two and a half hours, I mean too long, too long. I had to I was there for like a gay night or whatever, like it was like gay influencers. I was sitting and I also saw cats with my friends Alfredo and Milk Milk.

You have a friend named Milk.

I have a friend in Milk. I have a weird life, I think, Oh, yes, later, Sorry, do I sound a mess.

It?

I do not hurt your feelings?

No, you know, sound like the past people that we've had real mess really.

Yes, Okay, yeah, my life is I have I'm pretty together.

Yeah, how's your life?

Fine? I am alone.

I've been single for seven years. I'm trying to trap this Dominican. It's never gonna happen when you.

Say alone, are you not having sex or like what? I don't have a lot of sex.

I have a guy who comes over who's like Mary, and he and I just every once in a while, I have a fuck and then he leaves.

He's he's married to a man or a woman to a man.

Oh ye yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, keep.

It in the family.

It's fine. Yeah, so wow, that's pretty much. I'm very like.

It's so funny because I the my last relationship I had was seven years ago, was for two years. It wasn't a great one, and after that I just sort of dove into like, yeah, I was dorinking.

I was well.

First I wanted to perform, because I've been doing comedy five years now, so before then I wanted to perform, and when I was dating him, I never got a chance to. So I joined this cabaret group in Chicago. And the reason I did it is because I said I could pick my own music. So like, oh, you don't even know that half of it. We performed at only gay strip clubs in Chicago every week, and then we had really shitty burlesque dancers and really bad drag queens.

So I was in the minister club in a strip club.

So I would perform while the strip we were in a basement that Anne Frank wouldn't hide in, and there's like a stripper in a corner trying to get hard while drag queen is powdering her nose for the eighth time.

And then like the cabaret dancer was like one two step one, do you want too? No? I said what I mean, everyone's drinking. We got smashed. And then I would go on stage.

And be like mam means all alone, and.

They would just be like throwing peanuts at me. But I like peanuts or peanut peanuts, peanuts. No, I wasn't stripping, but I so there was no sh the strippers stripped. I came out to sing serious music and they hated it.

Well, what were you wearing while you were singing?

Like literally what I'm wearing right now?

Was it a strip club talent show?

Like this just was a strip club bird.

Then we would have our burlesque shows, so they would say, like the burlesque group I won't want to say the name of the group is coming to perform, and also entertainment from you know whatever, Jose And it was just a big mess, but I loved it. I did that for two years and then I got into comedy and I was like, okay, and that's why I MIC's. I was like, oh, these are very that's quite glamorous, cause I was used.

To a very different side of performance, said that open mics are glamorous. What have you been through, sir?

When you're performing for strippers and old people and drunks and gays, and all of a sudden, it's just a roomful of like nerdy white dudes. I'm like, this is wildly different.

Four weird white men listening, yeah, looking.

And just barely listening. But yeah, so I don't know.

But you don't even You just need bodies in the in the I just see bodies. I don't care who's in those seats. I don't give a ship. I don't want to talk to you used to do.

Some really terrible shows, and then it was appreciative if you saw cats and hated it. What's the worst show you've ever been.

I got booed by two hundred gay men in Chicago at an AIDS event. Why because oh, well, did you make an AID joke? No? No, no, but not looking back, I should have. But I.

They opened the show by having First of all, it's a place that used to be called manhole, and they have a sign in the bathroom says no crystal math. So this is already red flag for me. They called it crystal math, and not like they said no use of meth. They were flagging a patchure of it and everything, and so I was like, all right, And so what they did the show, The dragcreen host sing was really great, Dixie Krt right, I think it is her name.

She was really funny.

But this is in Chicago, and they flew me out there to do this, and they had porn stars wearing crocheted jox traps, which I have no clue if that had anything to do the HIV affiliated but they just had women sewing these jockstraps. And then the men came out did all this dance and then like immediately brought me out, which like, you can't have sex first and then comedy. You gotta have comedy first and then sex. So they brought me out and there's two hundred gay men.

Like, I'm like, hello, hi, is anybody? No, anybody? And no one listened, and I saw I go, is anybody gonna listen? And one guy turns around, thinking he's funny and goes, yeah, well listen if you put on a jock strap. So I lost it. I was like, oh, I get it. You people, which is never good to call my own people. You people. I was like, you people won't support your own performers, but you will support that weekend at Bernie Is called Britney Spears in Vegas. And they.

Turned so quickly, and then someone was like they started booming. I was like, oh, yeah, you're booing. Sorry, I'm not Kathy Griffin of the Ghost of Drone Rivers. You're all pieces of shit and Christina Aguilera is a cun And then literally one guy was like trying to rush the stage.

And then coming yeah, queen. He set him off, and then I said this is how I left.

It was six minutes, and I go, I'm sure you're all mask tops, but I've been watching you mince and prance for the past fifteen minutes. Everyone hears a piece of shit, and I left two booze and then I went to the back room, where seven porn stars looked at me like, I made the wrong choice in life, But did.

You get paid? Though?

Yes, it's a win, Yeah, it's a win, but I mean it's a it's a strange sound to hear, babe, But I've told that story since the gay shows and they laughed.

So it works.

You got a story out of it, that's what matter. I did a charity show for like kids that don't have money for vaccines or something, and they showed this super sad video of Julia Roberts in.

Like her for Mother's Day.

In like the congo or something where like watching a baby die. Because he didn't get.

Like, Jue Roberts, why are you in the congo? Right?

And then it was like and you know, she's like, this is so sad. And then they were like and now comedy I know.

And I was like, every time you do an event that's not a comedy club, they don't know how to do comedy.

Show, how to do it.

You never get a proper host, no, and they never get a proper stage or people don't know what they're there for.

We don't fucking light I'm like, first of all, I'm black, they won't see me, so I'm just talking and teeth floating, like come on.

They had together forming on like a trampoline and you're like, I do.

Not even that.

They're like, well, there's a utility closet over there if you want to. That's kind of a stage.

And then they'll have people service dogs walking around.

It's like what the fuck.

And then you're like, you're gonna light me at some point and they're like, just do this much time. It's like I'm just gonna do what I feel comfortable to.

I will say to them, I said, that's great, you should light me at ten minutes, and they'd be like, I'm kind of mean at those events. I've actually walked into event once and said this isn't I'm I'm gonna go.

Yeah, yeah, oh yeah. Because they it was like this woman was like begging me through Twitter and Instagram to do this show is in Brooklyn, blah blah blah, gay show, this and that. I was like, all right, I'll go, I'll show up. And then I show up and it's like her and two musicians and an empty, empty bar. And I was like, when is the show going to start?

She goes, well, the way we'll do it is like you just get on the microphone and start talking and hopefully people will like show up.

Oh yeah yeah.

And I said okay, I said that's not what I do. I said, so have an I stay and I literally walked out. It was fine, I'm where she understands.

I don't know if she did. She seemed a little spectrum. How deep in Brooklyn was the show? It was long island no no, no, no, no, no no no.

I was like, you might as well just stay. Your train is another hour, so you might as well do some time.

Well, there was there was a show I did two days ago that was like a gay show. And I walked in and there was one person in the audience and she said, you know, you can do time if you want to, And I said, actually no, I said, there's just one you know, but Taylor just saying nah, because I was like, I was like I was, She's like I'm so, I'm like, that's okay. She she really apologized and she wanted to pay me. I was like, you're not paying me. I was like, this totally happens.

I'm like to know that money. But like, okay, taking that money.

I know.

That's what Bob says. He's like, white people have a really difficult time with money.

It's like anytime of like if a white person is like I will pay other white people like throw their credit cards down, every black person will just sit there and smile and saying, Okay, you got it.

Bob needs to be the money expert. The next time he's Bob is.

I love Bob. We'll be in a cab and I'll say sorry something. Bob was like, you're not why are you saying sorry? Wow?

And the cab driver can hear us, and I'm like like, you're right, You're right, I'm not sorry. It's like you say excuse me, so but yeah, but yeah, I told that girl. I was like, yeah, I was like, sorry, this is just not enough people, and that's can you keep your money?

How many people do you need for it?

At least five? I mean, what are we talking about here? Do you think I'm gonna stand there for one person? That's the most embarrassing thing ever.

And I was like fine. I didn't come across as a bitch or anything. I was.

I was like, keep your money, and I was like, this happens and blah blah blah. But how much are you going to pay you forty? I was like, but I said, is this coming out? Is this coming out of your own pocket? Or you getting refunded? And she goes, it's coming out. I'll take the hit and I said no. I was like, how about you keep it?

And I go, you know this was a hit for me definitely. I know, bitch.

I had to come out to the Decalp stop and Bushwick. I'm coming from the Upper east Side.

Can you uber helicopter me back home instead?

I mean I was faking exactly. I'm like, Yo, you could just give me a car, don't carmel it, just give me like a real.

Car, like Matteo.

I feel like you give good show and you like there are people who are really bad performers, and people will come out to see them in droves, right, Like people will come out in waves to see somebody like Mariah, like Mariah or Britney Spears in Vegas or you know, just a lot of these women and Rihanna people. Rihanna is not somebody who can sing live.

She is fine.

She's fine.

She's and I say fine with like real hesitance. Tickets are two.

Hundred and fifty dollars. I don't want a fine.

Well, that's why I feel. That's what I say.

The date it is hell when she's performed.

And I also say, though, that's why I get so mad at maybe you guys will back me up. I hate like when I say, like, oh yeah, I'm Miley Cyrus does nothing for me and like neither just like you know, like the standard at one point was was like such good singing and now everyone just sounds.

What about Lady Gaga?

Oh I love her, Okay, oh I love her. She can really sing, No, she can really sing.

I do appreciate her too, because she reminds me very much of my Italian grandma, where it's like just too much all the time, Like she's my grandmother's living room.

It's the most she'll wear a couch on her shoulders and she literally when she came with the meat, I was like, girl, she's next to Sharon Shares like, I don't know who this meat locker is next to me? My daughter's a man. That's what Share sounds like she does, doesn't she? I don't know? You tell me I really know who this woman is.

That's a really good Share make her sound like a nerdy Jewish dude.

I don't know who this is. Well, when I met Lady Gaga had strength zazz and also getz twice like actually fun.

Lies. Wait, I have a question.

So in terms of divas and like the drinking and drugs, do you think it goes hand in hand? There's not many divas that don't be getting fucked up because I.

Think it's hard. We put a lot of like gay men are just enabling these women to mental disorders. But I think that's it's really hard to maintain. But the thing is is when you see someone who here, it goes both ways, all right. So there's too much pressure on the audiences side to expect Mariah to be dream lover days.

It's never gonna happen.

But at the same time, Mariah, stop also trying to pretend you're that. Stop lip syncing, stop dressing that way.

You have to evolve.

Like, if you're not evolving artistically as an artist and as a singer, your audience is gonna grow frustrating you. Because, bitch, I'm gonna pay two hundred dollars to can watch you lip sync.

I will go watch a drag queen to the same. But that's what they want from Britney Spears. Britney Spears is a whole other topic.

They want her to think, but they don't even want her to be there. They're like, can you just bring your voice and don't come.

Yeah, well, Christina Aguilera is insufferable, but yeah, she's the other one. She's the worst. She's yes, yet of course not. She was gonna say I made an entire career out of judging things I know nothing about. I thought.

I was like, well, what happened. She's definitely a foot excuse.

Me, no, she she's there's yeah, she's not.

Sorry.

When her Christmas album is offensive, I don't even.

Know what song it is.

Merry Christmas, Josh, oh, that's it.

She's adding words into words. She was singing, have yourself my little Christmas and I hang a shining star up on the highest bar, and right is the word. She goes, hang a shining star shot upon that.

Listeners, that's not there, she said, listeners, have you still have ears after this?

Yeah, it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing.

Who's your favorite person to watch that's like.

A train wreck Lindsay Lohan?

No, I mean perform like perform, Yeah, I mean Lindsay is a train rag. She's not fun to watch, though I've served her many times.

And I was like, girl, you smell like an you thought it was Susan Boyle in a red wig.

She smelled like an ass tray in an old school New York taxi.

Yeah, She's like she was like Taxi Cab Confessions.

She was that show.

And she was mad that she was like the bartender as like he doesn't.

Imagine she has Rachel Ray boys like.

The tosk, like he doesn't know me, he should respect.

And I was like, she said that to you, like, have you seen your career in the past ten years?

I was like, you don't even look like you used to look. Has she done anything after mean Girls?

Or was that was her a lot of.

She was a lesbian for a couple couple of years.

Oh that was the best.

She was interviewed on Alan Carr Show in Britain. He was like, so, oh, your author a Matha and she's like, that's rude. And he's like, I don't know all you back in the cock? Are you back into cock? Nobody has asked me that before.

Wasn't she a Muslim woman?

For a minute?

Two guys, All right, I'll fill you in, all right. Her Instagram this is my bed. Her Instagram is better the Game of Thrones. She lost a finger and a boating accident in Grease and then had it sewn back on.

Literally was like I found it.

And then she erased all her Instagram after she wrote a poem to Isis and then resurfaced in a surfing wetsuit with a hijab and is now campaigning herself to be the Little Mermaid for Disney's live version of Little Mermaid, which by the time she gets to Ursula Artha is gonna be like, you know what, you keep the voice. But because she lost that finger, she has her own dingle hopper.

Now stop it why doesn't Why don't they just get these people their help, the help they need. They need to be in like those who are surrounded by a lot of yes people. And that's why you have to be careful.

Like the more we do this, if we become famous or bigger, you have to watch who's surrounding so because people will just agree with you because they want to live off you.

Yeah, but my mother would never just say yes to me.

Oh, neither would my mom or my aunt Cindy, or my cousins.

My mother would shut me down every day.

And you you know, my mom will call me every day and be like, I don't smoking you in three days, And I'm like, my mom does that too.

Today.

Me and Marie keep each other humble, Like as soon as I think I'm killing it, she's like, girl, your ankles are ashy.

But yeah, but your legs are dry. We keep each other grounded. My friend leaves a trigger, keeps me roll grounded.

She's outstanding how she's.

A Russian refugee, Jewish crazy kunt I love her so much.

She always looks like she doesn't like you, but I feel like, you know, the thing I love.

About Lisa is that she's so brutal. She can be nothing but honest, and she craves authenticity. And so when you're with her, you find yourself like working on your own character in person because you want to make sure you're being as authentic as you can for her.

Okay, So going through the list of the devas, then right the top divas, who needs and we can even throw Little Kim in there because she needs one to No, Little Kim needs somebody to hit him with the naw Mariah yes?

And then who else Mariah?

And then I would probably say, oh, you know, Christina, actually she really needs someone to be like, you're unlikable and someone else has to write your music because you have You're a classic, you have, you have a great voice, You're very beautiful.

You have terrible music and a terrible attitude. People don't like you.

Okay, so what about Jennifer Lopez.

Trema Lopez is just fine waiting for tonight.

Jennifer Love and her thin ass voice. She got a rod, She do fine and she crushes it in Vegas.

Yeah, she's she listens, she knows she's not a singer, she knows she's a dancer. She knows she looks good. She knows she's lucky as fuck. Like, I'm fine with Jennifer Lopez.

Jennifer Lopez voices thinner than Jenet Jackson.

Jennifer Lopez's voice is thinner than the tallest mountain, and.

Jennifer Lopez voices thinner than my edges.

Y'all, So Jennifer Lopez is not thinner than me.

Oh, I have one more question. That was like pretending to Jessica Simpson. Did you see her on Ellen?

Oh? Yeah, I saw lesbian question.

No, no, no, not only just the lesbian question. She seemed percocet out her mind.

She did a truck commercial or a car insurance commercial. I was like, girl, you are a billionaire. Why are you doing?

That's what Ellen asked. She's like, Ellen was basically, you're so dumb. How are you a billionaire? She's like, I know, I mean literally can happen to anybody in here.

It's closed everybody, like everybody's wearing those Jessica Simpsons do good shoes.

She got a good shoe.

But Jessica Simpson actually her reality show with Nick is kind of like the sex take to Kim Kay.

Because well it's different though she did pop off.

At because of that show MTV was making mad but when their marriage ended because of that show, because it was fine and her career, her career career as a singer.

She like watches a game man design shoes and she's like love she love it.

She got shoes, she got an active wear line. Now she got an athleisure wing. It's called the warm Up. It's our comedy. Is it really called the warm Up? It's called I'm not joking.

It's in Macy's.

Is it called ivy across.

The street from It makes me like, I guess she's doing it right though you know if you know you're not that talented because you were seeing her sing, it's embarrassing for everyone. Is this no she sings?

Yeah, like that's where she she thinks she's like this belt like Mariah, but she really it just sounds like a wet seal.

She sounds like what seal. That's when they set her close to baby.

Is it baby or biby?

I always thought it was baby, but I read things like an Italian, so well we say it would be baby and French too, madrig well because.

No, no, yeah, yeah, well are you talking about my Vagina.

Well just a little, but I I do. Do you really speak French? Yeah?

My mom and dad are from Hate.

Oh that's so cool.

You know, the most handsome aount the face of the planet. Look clerk, uh like so hot, but he knows uh he he speaks friends right there, just well that's wet.

I met his mom the other day. We were just like walking on the street and I bumped into him and he was with his mom.

So I immediately turned to her and started speaking French, and she was so sweet and nice. Yeah, they were great, my friend again and with the mother, You're like French, it's a lot of work. I mean, oh, thank you, But I yes, fluent Italian and I speak Spanish. But then my French is like it's like your fourth favorite. Well it just like comes in some It's just like I'm literally using Italian.

But you are a powerhouse.

You know, they're right like you you got it together, you got.

The lat Today I look exhausted and feel exhausted. City might have a face mask in her purse for you. She just did a mask is going to make my face not puffy. I need sleep, I need I was.

Like I got about two hours sleep I was like, I need because I got home around like two, and then my friend Patty, who came from Fire Island was staying with me, and so he him and I probably got to sleep around like two thirty, and then I woke up at like I couldn't sleep because I'm not used to someone else in my bed, so I was like kind of tossing. He woke up screaming in a fight.

Matello, I feel like you are. I feel like we need another episode, which you would something.

Completely different too. I do also feel like that before we go, we.

Have like a little quiz right, No, I felt we've been quizzing him. I want to know how you feel about to do okay. So I saw Adele twice.

I saw SNL and I was like twenty feet away from her and it was beautiful. And then I saw her concert with Liza and we cried the whole time. I like Adele because I think she's she sticks to her brand. She's like I'm gonna sing and I'm going to release music and that's it. And I was right here, I'm not going to fucking sell out a perfume to commercials or clothing. She's like, I'm going to sing and that's it. And I feel like people were really connected

I'm like, I got my loll they have a stomach.

But like, why don't you sound like mister Bean because Bean doesn't even talk.

No, mister Bean doesn't even talk.

But that's how mister Bean would talk if he spoke.

But she's a great singer, and I I love that.

I love people who are like, you know what, I'm just gonna sing because then I don't feel like I'm being lied to, you know what I mean. It's like Mariah and Selene and uh, you know Beyonce, Like.

Really you need a perfume? You don't like how s the dairy all wrong? That's a dairy wrong? Do it all wrong?

Tina Knowles originals.

You do not hear tins stealing like drag queens like gang houses from the eighties.

Okay, girl Tina knows she'd be trying like a witch. The house is like a mean witch.

How yo, when the Hive come after you, my man, yo.

I'm out. I'm out for the record. Everybody in the room to nodded. Yo.

The Hive is going to come strong on neute. Okay, I have no ones who do this podcast. I hope that Janet Jackson will lose the weight in time for this concert in September.

Of course she will, but I'm so mad at her right now because I bought checkets to go see her last concert and then she Oopsy got pregnant.

I was like, bitch, you're like in your early hundreds.

There's no Oopsy that has a one hundred thousand dollars for her No, because why would you do like, why would you just say you don't want to do the concert? Janet Jackson went in doubt will cancel a show. So I was like, I don't want to go back to see her lips in her ass off this time. I'm mad her because I love her so much. I love that song again, I love Runaway, I love Escapade, I love Together, I love I am such a big thing.

What about her new music? She had like this song called like if.

I could just throw myself out that window right now, I would new music, new music.

I know she did and like it.

No, what didn't like I'm with Wendy on this one, Like you know, Jenna, I don't.

I don't want to watch you do new music. I don't want to hear it. Just go do the old hits.

But she just said an artist got to evolve.

Yeah, but she is well.

She also stopped lip syncing because I watched her at that on YouTube at that last concert singing again, it was like a bad drag queen and it's like, oh, that's nothing.

She's so wispy. Also, she laughs in all of her songs. Are you talking to?

She's always gonna Tremaine Dupree and also may I say, jan Jackson hasn't said a funny thing in her life.

She has never laughed ever. She has zero except a humor. Ha ha.

I thought she was laughing. I thought she was laughing because Jermaine Dupris was in her mooning her, like tickling her clip her.

She was like, you're always doing that, always doing that.

Germaine is also the person who was making bomb ass music, Mariah Carrey.

We below job up. Yeah, I know, always been my baby. We belong together. They had some great music together. And then Mariah's like.

And he's like, I'm just.

Gonna go do welcome to it. N It's like, shut up, Jamaine, you short. Jermaine is kind of embarrassing where he gets. He was like, ha, you know what is it? Shut up Jamaine?

But is there anything that you want to leave the listeners with about divas or how to be a better diva?

Just tell someone to date me? Okay, what are you looking for?

Tell us right now?

Well, right now, I'm.

Obsessed with this beautiful Dominican man who just really doesn't give a shit.

But you've been talking about him for months now.

I feel you need to let that comes in.

It comes out, comes in and comes out. I mean, he's not interested in you, Like, he's like not obviously that I'm looking for a handsome man that hates me.

Why do people do that?

The listening to the podcast is like, well, I like, MITTEO, what what's your ideal? Man?

Just describe this person to us.

I'm trying to think of what you want? Money Brown?

Yeah, of course, okay, brown, we got we got brown listeners.

We have definitely had Brown listeners. What else? Someone nice? You money?

He needs money. You gotta have money. Nice means money and.

Worry about money because you got your own. Nor listen for one person I'm gonna do my Lindsay Lohan Joe how embarrassing. I don't know.

I guess I really don't know someone who is self, who's confident in themselves, who works out, not like crazy muscle buff or whatever, but not like a pig, you.

Know, but tell you you need somebody who wants confidence and that doesn't work. You don't need somebody with you need somebody who to bow down and just like love you and be upset.

No, I would hate that. Yeah, I didn't like that. I would hate either when I had that.

YO, when you when you turn up missing, I'd be like, I know why, I don't think he listened to this podcast he hates me. Well, well, look, we'll we'll look for this guy for you. If I see one, I'll let you know. All right, material, where can people listening catch you?

Yes?

Uh, I'm probably at Starbucks begging for adult pio that's not burned.

Mateo, your Instagram or Twitter thinks.

Instagram and Twitter it's all the same handle. And then Matteo Lane m A T t e O l A any my Instagram AM just completely naked.

Oh it's so fucking good out always. Oh you have a nice crack.

I thank you. You must have suitors that yeah, must have like a doyen I have, like you know, people are like a butler. I feel like a matre d.

You definitely got like gnomes that's ready to get up in it.

Oh, there's a few guys I'm sexting, but one lives in like New Orleans. That's the problem with Instagram is you get guys who don't live here, like one in Brazil and one traveling.

I don't like Minneapolis.

Yay, you're not going there, but like there could be this nice There could be like a little Dominican Minneapolis.

Dude, you and I both know that's not true. They don't.

They don't do that.

I was the most ethnic person in Minneapolis, and that's a problem. Yeah, but like you're a quarter Mexican. All right, someone get call Ice?

All right, Sydney, where can people listening find you? You can find me on Instagram.

Adjued BW and then you can catch me on Twitter just sid in ycuh and I am freezy r e e e z y unless you're the Beehive, in which case I'm not even on Twitter.

Yeah.

Then we have two more shows left for the warm up, Yes, July eighth and then August twelfth.

Yes, we will see you. There is the second Saturday of every month. But you know the decks too, are those eight?

Maybe Mittaya will come say hello.

Yeah, maybe he'll swing by and maybe will come sing.

Bring all your sexy Dominican friends please better.

Yes, your guys show is the ship. By the way, Oh that was so much fun I had. I had the most f you and then you dashed.

You could you could. I went to the Dominica's house to get fucked and then he didn't do that. That's what I did. That's the last. Oh my god, that's right. I was like, my gods, I gotta go.

I should have turned down the Michael that wow, that's im.

Sorry. I love to get fucked. What I loved. I just said I got fucked. I was like, girl, that was I had to go. He left us, So I did you We're gonna talk to me about this Dominican dud a little bit further, but you guys can go. Thanks Samurai, thanks so much. You'll always be a part of me. No, no, no, no, ineviinitely Boy. Did you know you can't escape man because you've always be my baby?

Know?

Okay? All right? By boy,