"The Daddy Issues Expert" with Amber Rollo

Any unofficial effort. Hey, guys, what's going on? You know what's.

Offensive when people like eat all the kit cat bars at the same time.

Does that make sense?

Like they bite it instead of breaking off a piece. Well, those people I wouldn't trust with my child, I'm not. I wouldn't trust those people with my goat fish. Yeah, Like those people are weird and we don't want to know parts of that. Those are serial killers. Yeah, and they those people have small dicks, oh marine small dicks? Talk about it? Are you talking about somebody you know? But I'm just saying, if you eat your kit cat bars like that, you're dick. Little micro penis. Hey, anyway,

Sey, How you doing?

I am fab fabulous, you know, just living my best life. Unmoisturized ankles and all. Yeah, but your knees are shining. Your knees look like you hit them with a little frankinsense.

You know.

I had a coconut oil and I've just been trying to work that through my whole life. I'm trying to pour it on my whole life. Cocon of oil energy. You know, it works for everything. It's good for cooking, it's good for you know breaking.

Let's back up, when when did you last cook? Who sent you?

Adrian? She's talking about me cooking things. I'm like, I'm out here work, I'm cooking these jokes.

I'm in the cooshion cooking material. I'm cooking these jokes. You're so stupid. That's why she's going to kick me out. It's great, she's not until your check clears. Oh no, definitely not. She yesterday we got in a real pho. Let's talk about it.

Let me talk. Let me turn my make up so we can talk about Okay, we got in a real fight. I mean I just need to do better and do more, and you have to fight about what I just don't do enough, Like we I don't take her out enough. And did you tell her that broke people can't pay check? Yes, they dropped that check. And you're looking at it like this is why you is my friend, That's why you gotta bring me on these dates. I know. Well, she was like, you know you go to the pool with Marie.

Day after we did exactly, and I didn't even want to go to the beach.

I don't like the beach.

I hate the beach.

It makes my feet look very like I don't know, twelve years of slave, and that's kind of what you feel like, shut up. Every time I go there, I'm like, this is just too much. And it's the New York beaches are trash, Like there's metro cards in the sand. Yeah, there's freaking like there's like bridge, I don't know, somebody's like weave tracks.

It's bad.

I don't need that. There's like umbilical cord in the sand. The water is disgusting, and I'm always seeing somebody's body that I don't need to see.

Some elderly but.

That's what beach is. You're never gonna go to the beach and not see one that you didn't want to see.

It's always that older man that is like a whole robun. Sir.

Your scrotum is down to your fucking toes, but but it's tucked into that speedo. Though just to the side.

Maybe I shouldn't body shame older man. You're gonna body shame anybody.

It should be, I think older man.

Yeah, I don't want to see you. They're the most comfortable. They don't get enough of it.

They're they're the most comfortable for sure, right. Yeah. Anyway, the conversation was just like I do so much with my friends and I don't do enough with her, and I'm gonna change. I'm gonna do better whatever. If you give me some things to do, Marie, I'm gonna do with her. Okay, you want me to come up with a list of things, Yes, come up with a list thing. Becauld you be on these Hinge and lux and Sugar Daddy dot com. Shit, don't do that. Don't say that I've been on sugar.

You had some new shoes on the other days, shoes.

Who gave me some shoes? Speaking of shoes and dates and thanks Marie. What's your expertise this week? Oh my god, my expertise was not getting murdered because I went on a date with the guy. Okay, a man, What happened with a child? What do you look like? He looked, he looked like he might kill me. Well, didn't you say you wanted to go?

And on?

What an Asian do?

Was?

He?

I wanted to go? He was Asian adjacent because he was like black and Asian. Oh so we're Asian Asian. So we're sitting there, we're talking and he's like wow.

He was like, let me see your gums.

And I was like my what And he's like your gums? What? My gums?

Wait? But let me see your gums. They are quite nice. And he was like, what are you mixed with?

And I was like what ew And he was like, you don't have black people gums. I said, I'm sorry, Oh, I have my guns. I guess those are black people gums.

My gums went through it. Your gums do look different than each other. But I would never a thing to ask.

That's because my diet is better than up. My diet is better than yours. Anyway, He's like, what are you mixed with? I was like black and he was like, and what else do you miss?

Poor poverty? That's what are you mixed with?

Medicaid?

Uh?

Anyway, he is, He's not cool, Okay. He kept trying to get me to go to his house to smoke weed. No, and I was like, oh no, you're trying to murder me.

Are you? Like where do you live?

Like fourteenth and something like fourteenth like on that side he could have gotten kidnapped. I was like, you just told me you live in a studio. It's not my destiny to die in the studio. I'm not going to get murdered in a studio. This is loft murder bid.

Yes, definitely kill me.

Like the ceiling's going to be twenty feet, has to be has to come up straight into the place, exactly. This is a penthouse murder by exactly exactly. So I didn't go to his house because I'm.

Here, But what did anything else?

We went to the park and sat and talked.

That's you. That's why would you go to a park with a random man? Are you crazy?

You're trying to die? And we went on the It was the pier. It was people around. There were people around the entire day. It was white people, so they probably wouldn't have saved me, but there are people around. And then I went on a date the next day. We went to like a rooftop winery. We talk about that bank rose on a roof. It was nice. This guy was cool. You know, so you were getting drunk with a man. See, men are so smart. They're like, we're going to a winery to get you fucked up.

But I didn't get I didn't get drunk.

I mean, I got drunk, but I didn't get drunk.

What did y'all do while you were drinking?

Talking?

Yeah?

Some of his friends came, so it wasn't even really. Oh, it was about to be a train, a train on.

It was nice.

I'm just trying to experience new people and new things, and like, you know, I feel like I'm ready to keep this whole train moving. But it's the whole train. Well where the train broke down in February. Your whole train is the j train. Ok, it never shows us it's making local stops. Yeah, oh man, it's making local stops. But I didn't get murdered because I didn't go to that creepy man's house. I'm proud of you. Thank you so much. You're not gonna kill me in the studio, CIDNY,

I don't know.

I feel like, you know. I was on the megabus, so you know I was doing bad. Okay, sorry, an expert at poverty being impoverty. I'm on the mega bus and you I shouldn't.

A person like me shouldn't be.

On the megabus, especially when somebody else is paying your transportation.

But I was trying to cut corners. I was like, if I pay twenty dollars, I'm gonna get the other money. And it's you know. I was like, it's gonna work out.

Yes, yes, I'd rather do this. I'd rather slum it and then have extra money in the end of it.

All of a sudden, you're good at math. You got it.

So I want to Mega bus and it's it was hot outside, but there should be no reason why mega bus is negative twenty five thousand degrees. It was an ice box. I literally felt like I was getting on the bus in O Marion's ice box.

Get an ice box? Wait, MA used to be even.

You can see my breath, that's how cold it was on or that's how hot your breath was.

Fuck you, I'm on the bus.

And did you have a sweater? You have a pashmina? I had? I had like a track jacket or whatever, but that's it, like a windsuit. Yes, it was freezing on this bus. So eventually I was like I've had enough. It was like an hour and a half in and I said I can't do it. I can't do it. So I go to the bus driver and I said hi, and he was like down pretty much. I was like, I don't want to bother you, but it's too cold on this bus. And he was like, this is the

I hope you sit down, speaker down, And I was like, I gas.

I was like wait till I called my dad, and you know I ain't got one. So speaking of Dada dad, Yeah, our expert our expert today is is a super funny comic. I think that y'all are really going to enjoy her.

She's a writer.

She threw, she threw a look on for us today. She sure did, which I think is. I'm always like, please do not shake my legs, don't look at my life.

I'm looking at your socks. I'm like, are they today's?

They look like those are nice those? Yeah, there's no holes in the toe.

No, not at all. You ain't got no scars on your knees. You're doing great, girl.

I don't see the hair from hair. It must be blonde hairs. White people are so lucky.

Yes, we are in.

Our expert for today is our daddy issues expert.

Give it up for Amberilla. Guys, thanks for having me. How are you doing, boo, I'm doing well. I'm doing well, daddy daddy is She's is a funny topic to me. I'm happy to talk about it. Well, it's take a step back and get into your look.

How about this? Okay?

So you're giving me sailor moon uptime? Yes, yes, yes, yes, fighting evil.

By moon light.

Yeah, Wendy Light. I love it.

You got the little two buns. It's so cute.

Thank you so much. These are like my kit cat heres. Oh speaking of kit cats. Yeah, yeah those.

Have you ever seen somebody eat like a chunk of kit cat instead of breaking?

Yeah, I have in their monsters. I immediately was like, I'm not going to be friends with you.

Yeah. Those are the people.

They do that because they don't want to share.

Yeah, I'm just gonna eat all of these.

Those are the type of people who kick cats just by and then share both of them. Then you can have as much. Then you could have the same with mail and not look like a monster.

I don't know.

That's not the way our money is said at.

First of all, if I get a kit cat it's from craft Services, I'm definitely not paying for it. Oh yeah, I all show up in a green room and just take all the candy.

Yeah that's it.

Have you done that? You just pour all those snacks into your purse?

Oh yeah? Oh yeah. When they have those like single serve eminem's, like little tiny packs, I love those.

I love a snack pack anything like I like the little tiny Snickers. I'm not going I'm not here for a full Snickers bar, but the little little bite size or a baby twigs, baby baby Twigs here for that.

Yeah, but you're string cheese string cheese is good. These are good, these little these little.

Baby's little nectarine, clementine, tangerine.

Thank you friend, Yeah, I love that so good. Thank you for stopping the Yeah, thank you so much. So Amber.

I can see your panties from the way you're sitting there, pink purple.

They match your hair little thank you or your.

Hair pinks a little, a little purple.

Right now.

I mean that this is very We're very comfortable here, and we want to touch you.

Was getting comfortable. You want to touch you, don't. We will not touch you, we promise. Thank you. I appreciate that. I feel safe. Let's talk about you. Who where are you from. I'm from California, originally from Calabasas, California.

That's where Rich Holly say Kardashians are from.

That's where you have an estate. Bit No, yeah, you got a compound.

My parents died so no so.

You it was an orphanage in Calabasas.

No, no, no, no, they died at then I moved from Calabasas to Long Beach.

That's where where Snoop Dogg is from. Yes, LBC, Okay, so you went from Kardashian to Snoop dogg uh huh. I feel Yeah. So let's talk about Calabasas. Was what's it like living there?

Calabasas used to be the porn capital of the world from the nineteen seventies to twenty twelve.

Ay yah, yay twelve. Wow, what's the porn capitol now?

Las Vegas. Yeah, Calabasas.

Like they passed this law called Measure B in California that said, if you're going to do adult films, you have to wear condoms.

And they were like, get at it, Oh, thank you, going to Las Vegas, Las Vegas, like put it in raw grosss.

I mean, there's nothing wrong with seeing a condom. No, I don't. And they have like such thin ones that they can put in porn adult films now that it doesn't matter. You can bear see it at all.

Or they could put like tattoos on the on the freaking little things like make it fun, like.

Yeah, that would be.

Fun, Like put somebody's face on it looks like you're getting like getting your while you're put a little hat, put a little fitted on the condom. Yeah, put the condom.

That would be great. No, they didn't know, but they could capital us.

They need this consult they need?

Is that what they need? I bet it already exists.

Probably probably.

I think that's like rule thirty four of the Internet.

Right amber, where's your necklace from?

I really like it? Uh, this is from Crossroads Vintage.

Oh yeah, yea yeah, yeah, yea yeah, yea yea, yeah, we know Crossroads.

It's like one of my favorite necklaces. I only wear geometric shapes. I like.

I like that, and I like the letter M because it's symmetrical.

Yes anywhere, and it's from Murray exactly.

It's for money, feek.

This is for vagina or an upside down A or an upside down A.

Sydney's an s Okay, you guys are like vibing and I'm totally out.

Of you gotta you got a nice necklace on.

It's it's a crown.

Me and Marie. You know, we're like obsessed with the queen. We're Queen's queening, queening on this poor ass couch. But yeah, you know, I like crowns. That's what I'm just gonna go with that.

You look super cute right now, thank you.

It's a very small ropper. It's like you possibly you'll see my lady is coming out. Your butt cheeks are out. Yeah, and it's unbuttoned down to your looks like your belly button. Well, Amber, I you know, also, I want to get to this later. But you know, there's some great news going on with you.

Yes, let's get into it. How happy she looks. I've got on some other jewelry today. Yeah, you got engaged. Yeah, my boyfriend just proposed to me. Well now my fiance. Yeah. How long have you guys been together? We've been together three years? What really? Yeah? Wow, we kept it. We kept it quiet for a long time because you know, we're both comics and that's uh, that can be scary.

Yeah, we're white.

Basically, we just weren't like posting a lot of photos together or like you know, being you know, holding hands at shows. We still don't do that. Who does that? Hold stands at shows?

Sitting at her girlfriend? Do it?

Fuck you, Marie, I don't hold hands.

Not a comic is she?

No?

She hates comedy, person likes herself.

She's like, I come to the shows because I love you.

And I'm like you, I mean you hate yourself.

Yeah, I hate myself doing comic. So Amber, how did he propos? Did you know it was coming. I knew.

I had like a general idea that was coming, but not that day.

Okay. I knew because like I okay, so my ring is made out of a ring that I had for my grandma. So it's and so I had told him. I was like, if you are going to propose, then I this is where I keep my grandma's rings. I would like something made from that.

Oh so you looked at it and it was missing, and you were like.

Ah, I didn't ever I stopped looking for it. I had it like hidden away, and so I didn't know it was coming, but I I had. We had talked about it, We had talks. It wasn't like out of the blue, okay. So but let's set the scene. It was. It was the fourth of July. Okay, yeah, yes, I know, I know.

I don't want to shoot on him, but come man, independence is the day he gave the proposed, not the day that they got married. Yeah, but it's still one of those days like I'm sharing a day with other people and firecrackers and ship like yes, yes, Macy's is celebrating with them, okay where you went there?

Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, Macy's is like, congrats my dad. I mean, my parents were married on the fourth.

Look at that circle. Did you know that he knew it that day? Okay, so it was I was meant to be. That's beautiful.

Yeah, it is beautiful. Wait, so tell us how it happened. Oh so we went and we were in Green Point. We went down to the waterfront. We watched the fireworks. There was a ton of people around. I'm so glad he didn't ask there because that would have given me an anxiety attack. And then we just walked. We took a walk, We walked through the park. We went to the playground and we did some cheesy stuff. We swung on the swings and held him and held the hands. We like swing and.

Then he was like, what's that over there? That shiny thing? And you were like what is it? And he was like, god check and you're like it looks like a ring and he was on his knee.

That's exactly what happened, like a ring like Easter egg Hunt just imagined. I really I enjoyed that we were on the swings like facing each other.

Oh yeah, that's very cheesy.

It was really cheesy. Tire swing.

You guys are an entire swing, just gone around. Listen.

I love a tire swing. Oh, I have motion sickness.

I can't. I can't do it. It's like literally to me sick. Yeah, I can't even get on it like something. I don't have vertigo, but like I get sick with swings. M I can't do love a swing. I love a porf swing. Does that mean you can't hamm it a kind of yeah, I really can't be doing any of that motion. It sucks.

That means you can't get on tap when you have.

Six Nope, I just lay there. I can't. I have vertigo.

Yeah, that's not that can't be real. That's fine, it's my truth.

I believe you.

Uh yeah. And then actually I was I was doing I was being goofy. I was like swinging around on the swing, spinning to make myself dizzy because I don't drink anymore. And uh and then he proposed right after I got off the swing, so he.

You stood up and fell down. I hate his Like while you were picking yourself up, he.

Was like, yeah, exactly, I was dizzy. I was. I was a little bit wobbly. And he got down on his knee and he stumbled over his words a lot.

Oh he was nervous, will you. I'm like, yeah, yes, I get what you're doing. Oh yeah, I think I can think I can. Oh that's great.

That's so you've been engaged for a week.

Yes, time is already flying when you guys won't get married that.

Everybody keeps asking me that already?

Well do you know next year?

They comics.

They have no idea. You don't know how the next day is going to be. So we're definitely not planning that.

Head exactly exactly. And she's used to the word fiance.

I know it's good. But I saw him the other day and I congratulated him. Oh nice, But I didn't ask him what the story was because I was like, ambers won't tell me, yes, but also tell me about him, because there's so many misconceptions about having daddy issues, you know, like having like a man in your life. So is he is he like your dad? Is he the opposite? I mean he's not white, so he's definitely.

Not like your dad. He's not like my dad. I think my daddy issues are usually looking for someone who will tell me what to do and feed me and take care of me and love me and conditionally, no matter how crazy I act. I was like a sugar dad. Yeah yeah, yeah, I mean I did. I did look for that a lot when I was younger. But what's wrong with that? I feel like one thing that is

I don't even have all my hopes and dreams in myself. Okay, okay, some of my hopes and dreams are in my mom because I'm like, well, maybe she'll win a scratch off, and maybe she will maybe she scratch offs. No, she my mom, that does not even well, then she has to buy the scratch off. My dad would buying scratch offs. He's convinced that he's gonna win. I'm like, probably, you could just give me the money. I can't wait till Samuel wins. But like I always did, like, who are you?

I I did. Yeah, he was he was a cheesy, cheesy man. He was very emotional and he did he cried a lot and screamed a lot. So yeah, I loved him. He had his good good sides, but you know there was also problems there too. But you had a dad, so I had until like sixteen. Yeah. Wait, so your parents passed away? You said, yeah, my dad. My dad died from a heart attack when I was sixteen. My mom died from breast cancer when I was eleven. Good.

Oh, I thought it was gonna be like a double homicide suicide, right, yeahrse.

I'd rather it just happened all at once.

I know.

I was waiting for you to be like pretty much. Yeah, it's it's a lot, but I think that's where I guess my daddy issues come from, although I don't really like that term daddy issues.

And yet here we are the episode Okay, here we are Okay, Well, why why you have a problem with that?

You have a very gendered term. It's like a little bit sexual. It's very Yeah, it's for females. And I think it's funny because it originally came from Freud's term like the father complex, and that was originally talking about men and their abusive fathers and how they have trouble making friendships with other men when they get to be adults.

Like Chris Brown. Yeah, I mean I don't know that's what, but that's Michael Jackson. Oh, yes, Joe Jackson Jackson, He's yeah, Michael Jason did have like little boys. Yeah, absolutely, And you see how they flipped it and then they put.

It and now it's all the same about like how men are emotional and overly sexual if they if like women are at all sexual or emotional, someone will be like, oh, you have daddy issues, and you're like, I can everybody has daddy issues if you you know, just by definition of like either having a dad or the absence of a dad, you have daddy issues.

It's wellniing you like effects who you become.

When I think about daddy issues, I think, oh, she's going to be a stripper, or she she does porn in Calabasses.

I never did porn, but I was a stripper City. Take your feet off the gifts. She's cutee though, Oh, you are doubly daddy daddy issues right there.

Daddy issues make you lie.

No, My daddy issues do make me a people pleaser.

Though.

Let's get back to the strip.

Let's go.

Let's you had to audition to be a stripper. You needed money, like, what's happening.

Tell us about your first What club was it?

It was a club in Times Square?

Oh no, were you streets?

Yo? That is like nineteen nineties. I made a lot of money. Though I made a lot of money, and I only did it for a year. I wanted to make.

Some cut did hundred and sixty five nights.

It's a long time, but I was like, I wanted to make some money, and I also just wanted to see what it was like. I was curious. I'll talk to us to walk us through in the first place. Okay, So there is another comedian who's a stripper. Her name is Jack the Stripper. Okay, like Jack the Ripper. Who is this? Yeah, Jax? She know you know Rachel Green. She shows with her all the time. She's like the Venus, the other side of Venus fly trap.

No way. Yeah, she's a sweetheart.

She's awesome. She got big uh, not as big as not as big as Rachel's. But she she has this she wrote this book called The Beaver Show.

She's super fun. Okay, you guys would love her.

But she I was talking to her about it, and uh, and I expressed that I was curious and I wanted to try it, and she took me to a club and auditioned with me. Which auditioning. I don't know if you you've done go go dancing and stuff, but you haven't.

You don't know what story out there you.

I don't know you like I don't know you like that girl Sydney. You did go dance? I did? You were in all If you guys know what is what is what it's like?

What is it?

Tell us it's basically just dancing. You go there during hours, like like during ball. The patrons are there and everything I mean does a strip will ever close? And then you and then you wear your dress for one song and you take off your dress for the second song, and that's your audition. The manager the song did you use? I love Rocket?

I haven't no idea. I did not request songs. There's probably kid rock or something. And thus, wait, so you take your dress off. You had your underwear on.

Yes, just a thong, that's yeah, that's all. Just a thong.

You have pasties on? No pasties okay.

In New York, you don't wear yeah, my titties are at who? What what outfit did you wear? I wore a gown because it was a long so they.

Have to Yeah, they do wear those like like you looks like it could be a prom, but it's also like a stripper.

It's really funny.

It's evening. It's just like slutty prom dresses. So what the gentlemen's clubs have like nights where you have to wear long dresses, and then they have nights where you wear short dresses, and then they have knights where you wear lingerie.

So what what?

What shoes did you have on when you auditioned? I had on when I auditioned, I had Martin's Gold. No, no, no, you're so dumb. I mean I usually wear Doc Martins, like someone has to pay me to wear heels. But no, they were like they were uh gold platform sparkly stilettos.

Did tell me you did some of your toes come out like on the in the front like a little yeah, well peep toe? Oh yeah?

And I actually I didn't get into the first club that I danced at. Were you nervous? I was super nervous, and I just didn't know how a stripper dances. It's like a very particularly watch a video. You just went up there and started doing like the electric slide.

I don't watch the Players Club. You should have watched the Players Club.

Didn't watch what was the one where they danced on the bar? Oh yeah, they don't dance like strippers. They don't kind of ugly. They don't dance like strippers.

It's like it's a lot of bending and hair throwing.

Yeah, it's a lot of hair flipping.

You gotta like drag your toe and like like put push your chest out and then push your butt out and like it's very awkward for white women's strippers.

They dance like flamingos, like they that's what it sounds like. Their legs are real thin and then they like they're on one leg and this is like and then they eat some trip.

Oh my god, I have seen a girl eat on stage, though, I have seen that.

You know how you're supposed to like get get the gents, You got to go around the tables.

I'll just be sampling this ship, like, oh, let me see is that noon?

I can I drive? The chicken? Is the barbasan crusted?

They did not serve food at my strip club. No, this was kind of like a short stripper club. Huh.

Just it was like a one stop shop.

Yeah, yeah, I mean they had they had drinks and they had uh sports on. But that's it in the bar.

So there's like two separate parts.

There's like the bar part where they had like a TV behind the bar, and then there's the actual main stage. No, I don't want to have no time.

No, I don't want the Redskins the game while my fucking fallopian tubes Redskins can't be playing while my black skin is okay, So you don't get in and they tell you, like when you're up there auditioning, there's people are there, Patrons are there?

Yeah, there's patrons there, and they're like, oh no, no. Everyone still is like, oh, there's a naked woman. I like watching that. The don't care. It's the manager that's like, no, she didn't smile at me right, or no, I didn't like the way she like she looked too aggressive with her dancing. That be me.

Yeah, okay, So you don't get it. They tell you right away like yeah they like.

And usually if you come in with another girl there, they'll tell you they won't either take both of you or neither of you. There won't be like we're gonna only take her. I'm old.

Yeah, some gold shoes. I'm ready.

I'll take this.

I'll take this journey with your friend. I think we gotta wait till you take your braids out. Yeah, actually no, no, no, no, leave the braids in because you can flip that. I don't think you sip. No, I can't exactly.

I really like your braids.

Boom, you know, money shout out. She's awesome and talented and funny.

Wait, I'm so I want to know how the rest of this ends.

So then, oh so then I the next day went to another strip clubs to day. I'm very I'm stubbor. I was rejected. I was like, fuck that, I'm hot. Yes I can dance at a strip club. Yes, thank you? How dare they? Yeah? So yeah, I went to another club. I took some tips from Jack about how a stripper dances.

What did she say?

She told me exactly what I told you. Guys. They drag their toes, they like they like stick their butt out and their chest, drag your head, you like have to like like slow motion vogue. It's like just like you're going moving through water, not really dancing.

So what are you doing with your arms?

Uh?

You're putting them through your hair a lot. You're flipping your hair. You're touching yourself, but just a little bit, not not aggressively touching yourself.

Okay, okay, okay, you know, like down the side maybe for you know, we'll do like a little video clip of us trying to do a little stripper move.

To is the most important part? Okay, yeah, but I have an afro.

My hair is the flip?

Well, there were girls who wore wigs and they somehow made it flip.

I don't know, so that would be a part of the show. It just flips off, and then you just use it to like corvery yourself. You like burlesque. Okay, so you made.

A lot of money you got out of that.

What'sn't busy? What's what's the most you ever made as a stripper?

Fifteen hundred dollars a night?

Fifteen dollars a night?

Yeah, since I made that waitress and she did, she.

Made me made that waitress.

Yeah, because you were a bottle girl.

Yes, so I didn't try.

I didn't know that that was an option.

Sidney was dragging her feet too, that she really was.

She was dragging her toes like like hurry up to get to table twenty five right now, my wave would fall off, and I'm like, I'll put it in a drinks. I'm like, look at that, just the cheque. So you did that for a year, But what year was that?

Uh? That was two years ago?

Yes, Siddy, she's like fifteen hundred dollars stripping two years ago. Were you making that in a night two years ago?

Oh? No, servant, definitely not.

Yeah, so if she was, if she stripped when you were at your peak as a battle chick, she probably would have made more money.

Yeah, you're right, and you were stripper? Was my Oh what was your name? My name was Heather. I wanted to be a mean girl, Heather, like Heather's Heather. It was a very simple name. Well, I know because Amber is a stripper name. Yes, it is such a stripper name. Every time I would go to the club, Amber was already taken. You're right, Heather Heather, And people all the time, dudes all the time, would ask me if that was my real name, and I was like, yes, it is.

You know.

They're like wow, They're like wow, You're so honest.

They were like offering to like fly you to like a Beza Abiza Abiza.

Yeah, never fly with someone to another country. Why would you do that? Absolutely?

But I can only go with my my supportive friend, ye, my service friend.

Ser Yeah yeah, that was my favorite move was to bring another girl with me into like the rooms because you can get them to stay for longer and yep, they you charge them double and.

Then your friend have the rape whistle on her just in case something gets crazy.

Dude, there is a there is a bouncer like right outside the private room. So if I wanted to get rid of a guy, absolutely could.

That's like the music is playing, things are moving so fast, it's loud, but it's not like it's at the door. I'm already did. That's true, But I did no strippers that were drugging these dudes and like having them sign out for like large amounts of Oh I auditioned for a movie role, yeah, starring Jennifer Lopez, So you know it's going to be very well done. Yeah, mantan Anyway, it's about this ring of strippers. I think they were

Yeah, like hundreds. That's a real story. I mean there was a real group of Yeah, it's based on those I know those girls people you're talking about.

Yes, I know them. It was some I guess I should go ahead and say, because the movie is about to come.

Out, that's a smart well. She it wasn't.

It was in It was in the paper, it was in the Pope. Samantha Fox boo. I know you're still out here, girl. You switched up your Instagram and everything.

I know it's your girl, Samantha.

She was one of the girls doing it. She was the ringleader. Though the ring leader was like the older chick that Jennifer Lopez is going to be playing in this movie. Anyway.

I auditioned and I didn't get it. I'm not a stripper.

One of the line was like with this fatass, and I was like, I said it, and the casting director was like, you're really funny.

The movie is not a company though, larious.

She's hilarious, dude. So you know, did you know those girls.

I didn't know those girls, no, but I definitely heard of them. I remember hearing about them. That's crazy, and I thought that's a great idea.

I was like, take back the night, bitch, Like, do what you need to take. These guys ain't ship anyway. I mean they're coming here and they all have wives and then they're trying to put their whole wrist into somebody's rectum.

Yeah. Yeah. These guys were like they will try shit, they will, and they're like, they're like, but the other girl said it, but the other girl did it, And I'm like, I'm not that other girl. You're like, I'm Heather. I have my own my own rules. Yeah yeah. Yeah.

Also, I don't want to get fired. I'm just gonna get fired.

I mean I told them we could.

Oh. I was like, I didn't know that. You guys, we do.

We did sign a contract saying like we won't do anything sexual. You know there's there's a contract. Yeah what Yeah, I mean because you know sex work is illegal.

Oh, but they know that y'all are doing what y'all want to do back there.

Yeah, everybody has their own rules, right, Like like I said, so, do you have siblings? I have forcess? Oh so no brother No brothers, absolutely not, and no dad and no dad and no mom.

So what what is it like? What was it like for you dating? Like, were you somebody that like because you were looking for kind of a father protector figure?

Right, Yeah, yeah, I was. I was. I was. I was messy. I was a little wild and messy when I was younger, when I was like seventeen to everyone was miss seventeen.

That said Sydney's messy friend. That was rabbit.

Dudes. Oh man, I would not trust her. She wait like no if I were dude, and like I saw, I was like, oh no, she.

About her omraid that she was swiping cars and dragging out. Oh, I had a little I had a little incident when her I went with them to I went with her and her friends to Mexico for this music festival, and they was they they was still from women too. They they were still from women. Well, they made me pay for like the mansion or whatever, like part of the room. First of all, I was in one of these pull out like you would see the bed and then there's

That's it. I was like, where's the food. We're supposed to have breakfast lunch.

The chef came out, I was just serving kedemy. It was like they had hash browns and that's it, hash browns and like dry egg.

So what was the purpose of the chef?

They were just saying they were all this stuff so they could get the money darling. And I'm like nice and new and yeah, so did you get your money back or No?

I did not. I actually didn't.

I actually had to leave and stay with another friend, my friend Viviana. She like saved me from the situation because I was having a miserable time. Yeah, in Mexico.

When I heard of them like taking money from men, I was like, oh, it's like a Robin Hood story, but they're just taking from everywhere, from everybody.

The lord took it from her, so she's take it and give it away. Yeah.

Like I was in the Hanston's the other day and there was a lot of women with that exactly the same, the same hard, pouty fit.

How did you meet them, Sydney.

Yeah, in the in the nightclubs.

Yeah, and she had a body that you were like, you're selling something, girl selling, You're selling it.

You're selling and stealing.

It's fine. Stealing is selling. Like Amber, you look like you could do what you do at night but also in a day be fine.

Like you didn't look like that was your life. It look like you it was a hobby.

You look like you look like you could be an early elementary school teacher.

Uh huh. I have taught little kids. I believe that I used to be a coach for like I was like a pee teacher for like kindergarten kindergarteners. And I was a track and soccer and swim coach for like middle school and high school girls.

Soccer and swim. Just so you guys know what Amber's body looks like. It looks like she used to teach track, soccer and swim.

Thank you, thank you.

You don't have a video hio body, Ah you don't look like.

Yes, well and not all. I mean, every every man likes a different type of woman. So some women are just like, oh, I want like a girl next door.

That's you. You're giving me. Jessica Biel Jessica Biel vibes, which is crazy because then you go to a strip club where there's dudes and they all fucking look the same.

What's the variety? They do? All look the same. They all look like firefighter, firefighter.

Porn star.

That's it.

Okay, what you want like a dad body?

You want a Robert? I want like someone with a beard and like, you know, just like a lightly chiseled chest. And then I want someone with like a little squish, like a little yeah, a little squish, a little sweet variety.

Now we don't. You gotta have muscles. You gotta have pectorial on your pectorials. You gotta have the nick shoulder muscle that you gotta have that thick winged wing Nick.

I don't know.

I never went for guys that were like super muscular.

Was not your fiance?

Yeah I.

Got two? Yeah, seems like androgynous, you know? He like, yeah, I like him. I like, yeah, how did you guys meet? Comedy? So you at the show and you're like, was a fun house his show? I'm good friends with his co host Sumeir and uh and now his like other producer Wren and I was going every week to Funhouse when I was a passenger bar. And that's that's where.

We bumped into you at Funhouse once.

I'm sure you did.

And we talked briefly. Oh, you were there to see your boyfriend. Now, yes, I didn't know that you guys were dating.

See yeah, because we weren't. You didn't tell me a lot about it.

That's so that's how you do it, Sydney. For those that are listening, I ain't got no man, But when I do have a man, you'll probably still know, but you won't know who he is. Yeah, but you'll know that I have one and don't be in my DMS like who the fuck is?

I don't know either. She won't tell me. She don't tell me everything.

She says A lie. It's my business. If I was stripping, though, I feel like I also wouldn't tell anybody. Did people know you were stripping?

No? I mean I wasn't. If someone asked me about it directly, I wouldn't lie to them. But nobody really asked me about.

It directly because no one's like Amber stripping.

Yeah, but Amber, let's let's get into it. Okay, you weren't.

Stripping because of your daddy issues. No, you were stripping because you wanted money.

Yes, that's it, That's what I think. But there's always that's what I think. But you know, I don't know something like therapists might say differently, I don't, right, right, right, maybe.

But can't you can't you be this like a sexualized person without it having anything to do with a man I think?

So, yeah, absolutely, I I don't.

I I don't think that that's how my daddy, how my particular daddy issues, if you want to call them that, manifest themselves. I think that I don't have like a father complex. I have abandonment issues. So I'm afraid that someone's gonna leave me, so I get like jealous or like you know, I get like attached. Yeah, let's talk about that. Have you ever or can you tell us.

About the time that you dated somebody that you thought was gonna or somebody tried to break up with you and you were like no, no, absolutely not.

Yeah, there's there's definitely been guys that I well, Okay, so I guess how I deal with how I dealt with in the past was drinking a lot, and I would I would test dudes in order.

To let's get into this quiz, how would you test them.

No, I would just be as as messy as possible, like really and yell at them and like fight with them. That's why your mother is a bitch. Yeah. And I'm like, let's see if he's like for real, if he's gonna see he was trying to get knocked a funk out amber I was. I was dangerous. I dated this like so I had I had a I had a dom

Daddy, you've been focusing on like like no, no, no, like about this.

This in this podcast, I've been talking about men because of the term daddy issues it has.

It seems like it has to do with my really, but daddyses he also date women days women? Dad? Yeah, I was, I have a dad and I don't date women. So how do you say we got to the root of your lesbian is?

Because no, Dad, Oh my god, that's what dad.

I'm gonna knock this fucking microphone upside. It's already broken my head, not the mic. So you also date women? Yes, what you're saying. So he wanted to do a threesome.

Yeah, but he like he wasn't having a good time. He wasn't having an easy time finding another woman to bring into the relationship.

What did he look like? What did het him in a movie?

He was daddy like?

So he was old. He was old, like in his fifties.

Yeah, girl, that's definitely some issue. Yeah, I know I was were going through I was twenty, I was he was fifty, he was fifty six.

He was sixty.

No, he was, he was like he was like in his mid fifties.

It's like he had a rascal in his dick. You listen amber on his rascal. He had a rif Aler watch on his dick. Uh huh. He was old.

So he was old, and he was having trouble and he was like, my my dom and that, and so I was being dangerous. I looked and I found page. I found someone else on what you mean you left him or you know, you found a girl on him? And he found out about it with a girl. Yeah, yeah, see what you want. It's your time, is your life,

Oh, I hear. So he was having a hard time finding women. You found one right away, you said her? Yes, what she lived like she was black. I got no, she was. She was black. She was Puerto Rican, Okay, she was cean.

She she she had brown hair. She could have been white, she could have been Latin. She was you know, she was. You don't know much about her.

You were just cheat.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's twenty eighteen. I don't know what year was when you did it.

It was twenty twelve something around. Yeah, it was when she was twenty, so it was when I was twenty, so it was ten years ago. Yeah.

Yeah, oh I'm thirty now.

Wow.

You look at that. You hear that honesty in her throat. Okay, should I say I'm something else?

You could say whatever you want. Sydney's just mad because she always has her age on stage, you know, on the podcast, and I'm like, Sidney, that's not a good career move. And he's like, I'm forty eight.

I'm like, comedians, you can you can be any age.

It's fine to be a stand up in the any age, right, that's what you're saying to me on this podcast.

Yeah, woman, that's not how it's set up. Okay, that's sort of putting into the universe.

Well, let's see if the universe does a bay Yeah, they probably don't care. Verses like how old did she say she was? Thirty?

No?

No?

No? How old is marine twenty two? Great?

See, this is the thing. This is what I listened to you guys on the podcast sometimes, and I'm like, oh, they're like so certain about their ideas. And then I if you, I'm like, oh, that's what, it's okay to be older, and then you say no, it's not, and I'm like, you're right, No it's not. I like am easily pushed over or swayed, and I think that's people pleasing.

It is people pleasing. I mean, I feel like people are pleased with us being mean on the podcast too.

No, I think people are.

They are, but it's it's on like some bedos whatever shit, how you forget the last nme, whatevers whatever. I feel like they have daddy issues the fact that they let us be mean to them, say whatever.

The hell we want.

But we're not being mean to the people listening to the podcast.

We're just being mean.

Maybe we are shout out to you guys listening because the cunt and Gaunt are still here.

Yes, count and Gaunt and Heather, I'm cunt, she's gone.

Your Heather. Yes, so you cheated on this guy. You were afraid that something bad was gonna happen. Nothing happened.

No, I he found out. He was getting real angry. He was starting to yell at me. I got afraid. I ran out of the apartment and I on foot and you ran all the way. No, I just ran to my car. I ran to my car in California. I mean, at least have a way to get get out.

You know, you have a getaway car. Yeah, she had the car parked outside. The engine was running great.

Yeah, Yeah, I ran out. I got a car, and I was like, okay, this was dangerous. I wasn't thinking about it. I think that I need to be more aware of like who I'm, who I'm working up with, and why and why did I choose to do something so dangerous.

Because you're a renegade like the Rush.

Yeah, a lot about it.

Yeah, but I mean, did you have any friends at the time telling you be like, girl, maybe you shouldn't do this.

This is messy. You see, nobody was no friends. Get yours his friends?

You need to drop them? What California was a girl named Blair?

Yeah?

Because actually I feel like Chanel would give good advice. She would she's such a good person.

She's good and calm, and she would have.

Nolla rolls some weed up and be like, let me tell you what you need to do.

And that's yeah. I think looking for support in multiple people is the solution to Like, you didn't have any friends, Yeah, I didn't have any clue? Well I did. I did, but they were like people I went out and partied with, you know, they weren't there were someone who I could invite over to my to my place. Those are adjacent. Yeah, they're like buddies.

They're like acquaintances, you know, people that like you wouldn't call when you need something from them, but like people would call if you need somebody to go out with, because you're gonna be.

Like, yeah, I'm already dressed. Yeah I meet you there in ten minutes. So and maybe they would have been maybe they would have been my close friends, but I didn't reach out to them in that way. It's fine.

So what kind of women are you attracted to or were you attracted to when? Because because we talked about the men, so let's talk about the.

Women I'm attracted to physically or emotions.

Let's what do they look like physically? And then are they crazy?

No? I am. I am still like more the subordinate one in a relationship. Even with a woman you.

First, I know we got you? No, no, yeah, we want to get you on time. So what kind of women I have to go though?

You learn from? I like, I like Latin women. I like like tan and like curly hair. I like them to look different from me. I don't want to be looking in the mirror when I'm with with a woman.

Yep.

Yeah, because people don't think y'all sisters.

Yeah is Sydney? Is that true?

Yeah? I mean yeah, people people will think your sisters, and people think that your sisters even if you're not even even like you friend you're hanging out with. It doesn't matter another girl that looks slightly like you. If you hang out together, people will be asking.

You if your skin is the same color.

If you're skin the same color, people ask you for your sisters.

Which is crazy because I'll have pictures with Adrian all the time and I'll be like, this is my girlfriend, and then I'll.

See people in person like yes, Marie your girlfriend. I'm like, that's not my girlfriend fuck at all. She looks nothing like Adrian.

So funny.

I'm like, please stop your girlfriend.

I'm sure Adrian loves that.

She hates it's brought you know what.

Anyway, yeah, friend, Well we were hanging out on the fourth of July together and I was like, have you met my partner Sydney?

And I was like, but Adrian was right there. It was so funny.

Oh my god, it was like my partner in comedy, Yes, partner christ.

So like letting is.

Your your france, your fiance down with the trisam uh?

He is? But we we haven't done that.

Because you love each other, people will love each other. Don't want a third in there. People who are like loosely loving, they will have another person.

I feel like we're like, you know, when we get older and well we're like bored with each other, They're all run out of things to do, go to swinger parties. Right now, we're enjoying each other.

So well. Our friend was in l A last week and she met this couple for a threesome, just to like fill them out. They went to get drinks. She said the dude was real hot and the girl was like a little bit weird. She was a Latin woman.

The dude it's always a little bit weird.

No, the dude was the girl was a little weird, really, but the guy was very, very attractive. And then she said that she met them and they were gonna like link up the next night, and she canceled on them because she was like, you know, I just broke up with this dude, Like I wasn't really ready to jump into with two people. And then she found out they broke up. The couple broke up. The couple broke up like a couple days later.

Oh, that's sad, she should I mean.

It.

Could have been a threesome that kept them together. No, I think there are very particular rules about threesomes, and if you are that other woman, then you should be you should be careful, and you should be respectful of the couple, and you should like be particularly attentive to the woman.

But they reached out to her. Yeah, and the girl set the threesome up. Brought the threesome up because she knew that he was like losing interest in her.

Oh, so she's trying to hold onto the relationship by making it more interesting, right, Okay, y'all need to do better, do Yeah? I don't know. The couples that I've that I've been with have always the woman's always been a lot more attractive than the man. Well, because that's usually how couples are.

Because dusty men can get a hot chick, it's true, but a dusty woman can't necessarily get a hot dude.

It frustrates me so much.

It's I feel like we need to jump into this segment and the newest segment of the podcast. Let's do it, and we're gonna give you sixty seconds. I'm gonna time you. Actually, I can't time you because I'm timing this, Sydney. You gotta do it. I'm gonna We're gonna give you sixty seconds, and you're gonna say as much as you can to prove that you are the expert on daddy issues. Now, that means you can make up a statistic. That means you could tell a quick story that's sixty seconds long.

I am ready. I think that I'm an expert on daddy list issues. On daddy issues. I'm sorry I said daddy list issues, because that's the name podcast pod. Yes, but I think that everybody has daddy daddy list issues, whether your dad was absent, whether he was dead, whether he was a pastor, whether he sold hot dogs or what.

Right, like my dad did. My dad did sell hot dogs.

But yeah, I think that it's like saying you don't have daddy issues is like saying you're not a human being. It's like saying, don't think of a pink elephant. Right, it's automatically in the room, like the absence of or the presence of is still. But I don't like the term daddy shoes because I think that men use it to say to excuse themselves from actually happening to five seconds with women because they're afraid of emotions or they're afraid time. Yes, thank you, that's it.

Men ain't ship. I have a dad though, so I like, you know, he he don't really do nothing, But hey, Sam, shut up dad. Never I would never say that to him, but I felt that in my mind.

I mean, I said the things that I that I had to say about daddy issues early on with the idea of the father complex, and that's where it came from. It's great.

Listen, I was like I don't know anybody listened to this podcast.

They got mother.

Issues, daddy issues, issues, issues, Okay, they work issues. They got more issues than Vogue. Okay, we got all got problems. And that's why were listening to this craziness that codians.

Yes, you guys are doing doing God's work. We are, you know.

I you know, I burned down my house when I was eleven, and I wouldn't even think that I would be on this couch right now living. I can't believe I have a pyro.

In my home right now, hanging out with the sinners to do that here today, Amber, what.

Are your plans for the summer?

Plants for summer? I'm about to go to California. I have a friend who's getting married in Sonoma, and then I'm gonna go to Yosemite. Uh, which is where my my family vacations every year. Vacation in your camps? We camp camp?

We camp uh so in Okay, So you guys are getting married, you don't know when?

Do you have any you have? Have you started your wedding vision but your Pinterest board yet? Oh that's so funny. I just logged back into Pinterest. I was like, what was I thinking, and I had this board that I made like five years ago called Someday, and it's all stuff.

That's not what I want to wear. That's not what I wanted to full of daisies, those flowers. If there was no budget, where would you get me? If you get married anywhere? Whe would you get married? Like if your friends had money, Oh you had money, I would go.

I would go to Brazil to There's this beach outside of South Paula called Matisius. It's beautiful. There's like the four there's like the rainforest and then the beach right next to it, and there's like it's it's amazing. The beaches are white and lovely, and like the people are The beaches are white and the people are people are brown. It's nice. Yeah. They call they call the bathing suits that we wear like bikinis that we wear diapers.

Oh wow, they're so big.

They're like American girls. They're wearing two bigger bathing suits. Okay, Well for your wedding, would you wear a tongue just a little Yeah, just a white thong and some taste tasties because I have classy.

Yeah, honestly, that's a wedding in Brazil. That is classy for Brazil. What are you talking about?

Amber?

If you need me to walk you down the aisle, I am here from the unofficial expert is here faces. I will be your mother and your father and your father, mother of the ride, father of the ride. I'll wear Marrols and everything. I love it, white man shoe on.

This little boy that I used to nanny has has also offered that he would walk me down the aisle. How old is he? He's eight?

Now tell him to beat it. I already asked that I'm older than him. I will kill him. Are you Marie Amber? What where can people listening catch you? What's your podcast? Plug everything? Where people can find you?

People can find all of my stuff on my website at Amberalla dot com, a M B E R R O l l O dot com. Or you can listen to more stuff like this on my podcast with Shanelle a Lee called daddy List Issue. You can find us on Instagram or Twitter at daddy Lists Issues. Where you can find me personally on Instagram or Twitter at Amber c Rollo. Amber.

At the end of the podcast, and you just now corrected me on your last name, Oh, I.

Said everybody's it's like, it's like, it doesn't even I.

Don't even know you are, no bitch. Somebody say my name Cindy, I'll be like Sidney and they'd be like, but it's spelled in Cindy.

You like whatever, Marie, I'm like Amber, Yeah, I mean rollers. The candy, That's what every That's why everyone wants to say.

Well, I thought that's where your money came from, the candy. I was like, we have two l's. I didn't eat the candies me either. I'm definitely gonna put that in a note that Sydney is a rude ass host and I didn't mispronounce your last name, but anyway.

You're It makes me think of like when I was on like soccer teams in middle school and stuff. Rollo. It makes me think of coaches. I don't know.

It doesn't shirt bought you bought the range slices?

You bought the who bought the arrange slices. I used to go to my brother's soccer games, and I hated it because soccer is boring to me to watch. But I used to be eating them them orange slices with the team though. Yeah, I'd like my mom got these these are mine. Did we learn anything today, Sydney. I think we did. I feel like it's good to know that you were stripping on your dime, on your choice, like we had nothing to do with dad issues or per se, and uh, you've been through a lot and

Totally no, bitch, we are here, we all got problems.

You're living it.

You got engage, you got man, you got all his teeth. You know you're doing great? Haha, because he does.

That's important.

It's important.

What did I learn today? I learned that Sydney hang that with people who robbed you the strip clobes fascinated. But I got robbed too. I got robbed too. I'm a victim as well. I was like, well, where can I put in my case? Well, because you got robbed, because you ain't got no dad, those are your daddy issues. Wow, you're interesting, fascinating.

You should take your girl to the park. That's where I met her. Oh yeah, well we get married. I'm definitely doing this.

Had that cup literally, my god, I was waiting. I was like, where can I use this? Well that I think it's done. Now, Okay, that's our theme song and we're out. We're still we still need a theme some So are y'all talking ship talking about Oh we're gonna send you something. I haven't gotten anything yet, drive in boxes, drive nothing. So what are you all going to send us to SoundCloud? I mean, Lawrence did send me all his stuff and Marie was like, wow, he said, I

Maybe you could come back. I would love to. I would love to talk more about stripping with you guys.

Yeah, it is the right kind of outfits that we need. What kind of bazazzled you know, thongs we need, yes, chains that you put on your nipples to make it look, tassels and whatnot.

Okay, So that's that's for lusque, that's less. My forte and I have done burlesque once, but only on on Karen's show. Oh stand up and take your clothes up. Yeah, the night where they did like the Switch, where the stand ups did for less than last dancers did stand up. It was fun. Oh wow, we won't be doing that, but thank you so much. You guys have been shout out to Dick Wolf. Bye,