“The Cheating Death Expert” with Chris Daniels

Forever love.

How you doing, Marie, I'm good. How are your friend a fabulous I'm feeling it. The energy is great.

I can smell it. You couldn't smell before. My sins were all fucked up. It's all congesticed, like an ear infection, your eyes and throat or whatever situations.

I was going situas Willers. Yeah, I had my ear clogged and I couldn't clogged.

It was clogged.

I couldn't hear that well. And then my nose was congested. I was going through a lot. I think I had a head cold.

You know, you look like with this hair now, is teeky Sumpter?

Really?

Yeah?

And that Nobody's fool fast.

Movie that nobody is gonna go see Nobody's full You look like nobody's Yeah. Yeah, Well she's got a strong face, so that's a compliment.

Yeah, I think.

She's really pretty.

Tiki, let me just let me just put it, pull it up so everybody in the students, and Marie, you really do look like migos? Didn't you so mad?

Right this in Sydney look like that?

Yeah?

Okay, great, Well I'm looking like I'm booking movies then and and regularly doing TV shows. Huh, she's on like she has a show. And I love the unicorner on your neck, bitch.

Yeah, I'm still rocking my temporary church.

That's so hot. Honestly, when I was Marigos for Halloween and had all those tattoos on my face, I was like, I get why people put tattoos on their face. You did look I felt like a badass. I said, you know what, I should put a tattoo on my face. You're pretty damn sexy. Put culture across my neck. I love it right on the jaw line.

But the thing is that the unicorn, Uh, it was in color, so it's just it's a lot.

Yeah.

I got it done in the Japan when I.

Was in Tokyo. Yeah, you know for work, yes.

By and by work, I mean I was out there being a whe The.

Tour was great. The tour was so great and it went well, Thank you so much. It's staying.

I don't even rub my neck in the shower.

I just tap it because I wanted to last as long as you're like your sister now, thank you so mad because she got those tattoos and now I feel like they are for real.

Now.

Yeah, the sleeve.

Yeah, she does it.

She's great.

It's crazy. So Amazon sells these like sleeve tattoos and you can just like have a tattoo, well your whole arm.

Does Amazon sell hairlines? They need to do that for some of these niggas.

I mean, you know these dudes are getting I don't know.

Can black dudes get hair plugs?

Like?

Is that a thing? Yes? They can? Anybody can care.

What did Lebron James do?

Because he was like bald and now he has like his hairline was here and now it's like at his brow.

He was tired of people roasted him and I get it.

And what a tiger do?

Because tiger also didn't have no hair, but now he's got like twists.

It's crazy.

And then the other dude who was on Love and Hip Hop did it as well.

Who Safari?

Safari got freaking hair plugs and he had a strong Oh no, you know what, he's a nice person, so it's fine.

Can I be a nice person with a strong hand's head with a buff forehead? Forehead is mess?

Your forehead has uh has abs?

Thank you so much, Marie. Were you are an expert?

No?

No, no, no, what you because I'm not like, God, Babby, what were you an expert in this week?

Girl? When I tell y'all be ear hustling, I'm an expert in ear hustling.

So eavesdropping.

Yes, I was in an uber pool and I was in the front seat, and usually I just put my earphones on so I don't have to hear the bullshit. I'm usually like with the driver's playing. I usually don't like the conversations in the bag. But something told me take your earplugs out and listen up. So it was a guy and a girl and it seemed like they were having this somber conversation and it was getting real deep and dark.

So you chilted your whole seat back.

Yeah, I was like, don't get good.

You pulled the button and you're.

Like they were talking about things that like were life changing for them and.

In an uberpool, in an oberpool.

I was like, you got to get your own car for this, Like you have to own a car to have this conversation.

Now, you can't be deep in a pool.

No, Like it's a shallow don't we don't deserve to hear your growth?

We really don't. I don't know you from Adam.

Is it growth if it's a ride share?

So then the.

Guy said that he basically tried to commit suicide, and he wrote a note, and then before he took the pills, he started to read the letter and it had mad grammatical errors. So he started to do another draft of it. He tried to appropread it, and he did it a couple of times, and that's what stopped him from committing suicide.

And now he's a writer. Now he's writing a book.

Is it a book?

Is it just not suicide notes?

Side notes?

Was spelling error? It's just spelled chick suicide.

Be a writer, Be a better writer before you die.

Pretty much, honestly, if some semicolons in commons saved your life, I say, do it. That's a beautiful story. We know, so funny.

But also was like, damn, that's something real. But if you want to die, do you even really care about what the letter is saying you?

You're ready to peace out? Yeah, but he wasn't ready to die this. He was like, oh no, this, I wrote.

Your instead of you. That's the wrong They're they're there too many theres Oh man, did I say you? And I didn't put it like.

A yo, you just you say. He's like, oh, I'm texting, No, no, I gotta write the letter.

You probably know his friends ain't ship, and they would read it out loud and they're like, oh, damn this nigga.

I know people he killed themselves.

Yeah, that's why I wouldn't even know. I already know my ship would be crazy crossing stuff.

And to be trashed you're white out is bad. It's really Maybe do it in pencil, yeah.

Or a raceable pin.

Yeah. Oh remember when those mechanicals No, no, those are mechanical pencils.

Oh yeah, I said, a racable pen Do they still make those?

I don't know do they?

I don't know.

They're gonna go into a stationary store in years.

He ain't been doing stable since nineteen seventy.

So yeah, so I listened to I was ear hustling, and I was able to hear this story and it made me think about, damn, I want to be a better writer. I want to take a writing class. Not for my suicide note, but no, I just I just want to be a better writer.

Are you going to take a writing class?

Yeah?

I am going to take a writing class.

Interesting.

I think it's necessary. It's like I want to learn how to write a sketch anyway.

So good for you, friend. It was it was empowering. What did she say when he was saying this start like he so he was trying to kill himself. Yes, he took a couple of pills and.

Then read the note and was like ah no no no no no no no no, this.

Is no He was about to take the pills, but he was like, oh, let me just look at this letter real quick before I go.

And then he was reading and he said he was struggling. He said it made no sense. Yeahide, they don't make sense.

I can't take it anymore.

Take what no Like, he was just really like the grammar was so bad, like none of him.

It was like a lot of run on sentences.

It's kind of like if you write like an abbreviations too much and you you do everything.

He read phenographer suicide note.

Yeah, it's real short. It was.

It was not good and he was just like, I want to be better at long form.

He said it. He said it was like two pages.

Yeah, that's too many letters.

That's too many pages. A suicide note should be a note, not a letter. A note is just like a couple of lines on a page. A letter is two double spaced, like maybe he should have typed it up. Nah, maybe you should have typed up the note and then signed it.

Maybe hit it with like a little wax, put crest on it.

If I do a suicide note, I'm taking all the letters from the newspaper.

No, that's like a ransom note.

But it could look like a ransom note you're making up.

You're making a vision board suicide note. I'm not putting any words. Suicide is not funny, guys, but it's hilarious.

Yes, suicide is not funny, but the note, this actual story in this uber bowl was funny. What did she say when he was Was she like, oh my god?

So she laughed?

Was the driver also to cut the radio down? You wrote a letter?

Did you folded three times and put it in an envelow? You put it in an armagami type.

Of he made a crane.

Yeah, he made a little oregami box.

He's alive, and I'm so I'm so glad. His name is Troy. I didn't get his last name, and then we're gonna be looking for it.

For the book.

It's gonna be a New York Times bestseller.

It literally is like, that's how you, that's how you open up why I wrote the book.

Honestly, I want the suicide note with the correction should be in the forward. Yes, damn.

I should get in contact with this guy, be like, let me help you, let me help you do let me help you win.

You with dad?

Uh.

Anyway, Marie, what were.

Your expert in this week?

This week?

I was an expert at self care.

Okay. I made a lot of choices that I was like, this is this is for me. I need this right, Like, I had a show last week that I didn't want to do and I just didn't go to the show. Good for you, and stead I went to a party, Yes, And I get to this party and it's like out of space and we're walking up and the guys that I'm with it was like Calvin Cato and this other guy. And I was like, Halvin, do I need a ticket for this? And he was like, oh yeah, I bought

And I'm like I'm on the show.

The guy at the ticket booth was like, show show, this is a party. I was like, yes, but I'm a comedian. I'm on the show, like real confident. And he was like, I'm sorry, is there a show happening tonight? And I was like, you tell me? Is this not little fit, like repeating the name of the venue, and he was like, yeah, this is the right space, but no one told me anything about a show. I said, well,

And I was like.

Right, so I go.

I'm backstage. I'm like, whose party is this?

And they were like I'm so and so from such and such, and I was like, tell them so and so from such and such that it's cool. I texted them that and they let them in no problem. But they had to get tickets. Me self caress self care. Oh my god, I mean, I just so. There were two shows that I was on in the last week that I didn't feel like doing, and I didn't do them.

I just I didn't even say that I wasn't coming.

I just didn't go, I'm proud of you. Me too.

Honestly, It's like, what am I really gonna get out of this show?

Yeah?

And this I'm gonna be annoyed in front.

Of eight people.

There was one show that was like in the like deep in in Brooklyn. They didn't even message me because they were like, she she ain't coming, Like she's not coming all the way to rich Wood. Yeah, she ain't come in to Long Island.

It's not happening.

I don't like comedy that much.

I mean one of the shows I missed I missed because I was at your.

House watching a movie marathon and I was like, I'm comfortable.

It's weed here. There's a vacuum of weed.

You know.

We were doing great.

We're vaping.

Yeah.

Self care.

Yeah, honestly, guys listening to this, self care is available to you as well. Just take a day when you're like, no, I'm not gonna do that.

Speaking of now, I'm not gonna do that. Are the next guest.

It's definitely not gonna do.

It in that.

Definitely not out about that.

And it's crazy that my expertise was about this guy with the suicide note this, I feel like your thing is.

Yeah.

Anyway, he is a comedian. Yes, he has a podcast called The Book of Yay.

The Book of ya it's all about Kanye West.

It's all about Kanye.

I don't know.

I don't know if y'all want to, I mean, we're on it.

It was amazing.

I had a black our episode.

It's great. Yeah. Uh. He is our Cheating Death Expert slash Final Destination Expert because I watched the movie recently and I think it's great.

Yes, it's Chris Daniels. Guys, Hey, Chris Chris daniel it's to have you on the students.

It is good to be here for the first time. For the first time first, because I don't know what podcasts y'all are talking about I don't do a podcast. This is the first.

Podcast, don't do anymore. It's on the wall.

Is it defunct? Is it canceled?

I don't know what that is.

You're not doing ya because Kanye lost his damn mine.

Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know nothing about your podcast.

He signed something you can't speak on it.

I got you boot you signed an NDA?

He sure did, said I don't speak of those things.

I'm trying to create some distance for myself.

Okay. That's called self care? Is self care?

Is is self care? I decided I wasn't going to go to work today and I just came here. So this is my I'm not gonna do it.

Chris got a job.

I got a job nine to five five. Where do you work Somewhere?

It's called self care?

Not where you work? Self care?

I got it. I love that. Uh So, Chris, let's get into this cheating death situation. First, do you have anything you have any thoughts on either self care or Sydney's suicide spell checks?

I'm the suicide spell check thing called me just because I feel like you really should follow up this with this, dude, Because one, I want to know what he's going to be right, Is it just gonna be all suicide and death related stuff? Because I feel like if you haven't even mastered like the Theirs and Theirs and theirs, like maybe you should not focus on too many plots and instructions.

He's trying to start like it's gonna be a fiction or nonfiction.

Well, I think he wants to focus on like that thing that stops you from killing is killing yourself, and like how just holding on and waiting, waiting for another day.

For tonight, waiting for to No.

Yeah, you it can like change your life. It can keep you here. So I should find I should have.

I wonder what the percentage of people who want to kill themselves and don't is, like the people who like sit out to do it and then they're like at the last minute, they're like like I wonder what that.

I think it's high. Yeah, I think it's really Especially in New York. Every fucking day you're like I'm ready to go.

We we just don't get that far along. He's get distracted. You got too much stuff to do.

I mean, I feel like millennials, it's gonna be hard.

It's harder for like gen X and gen I don't know whatever generation is after us Gane. I feel like it's gonna be hard for them. Everybody's attention span is so short. Yeah, it's gonna be like, I'm gonna kill myself.

Let me check the Instagram. Oh okay, I got a mess.

Oh a rabbit holes put a new post up like that.

I feel like it's gonna be harder to do it.

Or you're like, I want to kill myself, but I do got pizza rolls.

And I should eat these birthday parties that too.

Yeah, I mean people do do it though.

So yeah. But but Chris, where are you from? Matter of fact?

Originally from Detroit?

Wow? I didn't know that from.

The get it from?

Get it from eight miles.

Wow, west side Clarimont.

How'd you get out? Man?

We moved.

We moved to the suburbs when I was like, uh, fifteen, like my freshman year of high school. I remember, I didn't want to go. My parents are like yo, they excited me, and my brother's down. They did that thing where they like tried to give us like the option, but it's not really like a choice. And I met her, like, you know, we want to know what you guys think about moving to the suburbs.

And Chris was like, I want to do hood rap things with my friends and they were like no.

I immediately started. I was like, okay, I need to I need to prove why. So I started working on like a like a PowerPoint presentation. Wow, it was there, like slide one.

That's literally cheating death right there. Yeah, it was.

You made a power point to stay in the hood.

And your parents were like, no stars out, too many swipe aways inside.

One was like there's too many white people. That was it.

And they're like carried on that for like three slides, and they were like, yeah, we're going anyways.

What do your parents do.

My mom's a nurse. Well now she's like.

Oh our nurse and an operating room there come.

And the scalpel.

My stepdad works for the I R S.

Now, your stepdad is trash.

No, what's your dad's name, like the like the government?

No first name? O?

Sam?

Okay, So what I gotta do to get Sam to suw me out?

Fo me? Man?

I am fucking struggling with this I R S situation.

Can you pull some strings?

Just one string? Yeah? Maybe one? I think one's not too bad.

The whole thing on a ravel. Well, the one string is just lift.

All the data I need to know, like if you need like a Wesley Snipe steal, like I don't know, because he still went to jail.

Yeah, that's just reduced time.

How long was Wesley Snipes in jail for like three years? That's too long.

Sidney can't go to jail for three years. She can't wear the same wig for three years. Oh, you can't wear wigs also.

Aren't Is the new black?

Is a damn lie because they let Laverne Cocks wear a full lace front and you can and you can't wear a win in jail. She would have plats, she'd have seay color purple braids or fade or faith that to Laverne that like isn't at like a synthetic you know what? Anyway, whatever, God, shut up, Very it's you know these TV shows live.

Yes, okay, so your dad's in the irs.

Good for you. So you moved to the suburbs, you're surrounded by white people. Yeah, so talk to us about the first time you cheated death.

Yes, okay, I don't know. I don't know if it's a cheat or it's just like a fuck up in the system. So I was in the wound yet to be born.

Yeah, I was.

A few Mom took a Plan B and you still came out.

Yo. That is literally the cheating that has happened because they're like ninety nine percent effective. Imagine you take a Plan B and you still have a baby. I'm that baby's gonna uh, you know, cure cancer or something.

So apparently the doctors thought that I was in trouble because like they thought the umbilical chorus wrapped around my neck and they were like, Okay, we need to do like an emergency C section.

How many months was your mom?

I think I was like, uh three months early?

Oh my god.

Three.

I feel like you should have a smaller head. You should have a smaller army shoulders, your hands should be tiny.

Yeah, it's just wow, you're.

A big boy's a big one.

I feel like my head is actually kind of small. But I had to grow the dreads just like proportion dress out because that was the shoulder. Said was like you like men in black character, I see it.

Some big shoulder.

They're great there. Do you work them.

Out like that or a little bit? Yeah, it's a.

Ball bad just a good shoulder. Yeah, I'm looking to see these tiny shoulders now, and it's like, wow.

Look how big Chris is.

You know her proportion is right?

Are right? Yeah, they're right, but like, wow, that's a manly shoulder. So they thought you were dying three months early. They looking at the grainy at.

Sonogram Hospital and Detroit.

She was pixelated like a galaxy. That's why it was a Nokia flip. Yeah.

He was like, it looks like he's choking, but it's literally a shadow. It was.

It was a dreads Yeah.

Whatever, nineteen ninety fucking Android sonogram whatever. They're looking at that, think I'm choking. They got to go in, give me out, And it turns out that they just looked at it wrong. I was fucking chilling, chilling, I was, I was still cooking, and they took me out.

Be like now I'm out. So I'm here.

So so you were seven months no, Sis, three months.

Early is sick.

Yeah, pregnancy is not.

It's just it.

Nobody's well done, baby, Sis.

It came out with a mustache.

Grown ass man and glasses, coming out with a briefcase. Yeah, with timblin boots. Let me get on that.

I was doing a lot of work in there.

So you were six months?

Yeah, so were a tiny premium.

I was tiny and then I had a coat like I had like my lung was like one thing. They were like, this is like gonna be undeveloped.

Like oh like nemos Finn.

Shut up like a little what is wrong with you?

Wait?

So okay, So, and I don't know if you've looked into this at all, but like at six months, because we're in the womb for nine months because we need more time to cook, So what what the other three months your lungs would have fully developed?

And like what else do you even know?

I don't know.

I mean I feel like all right, and maybe there could be some dispute on this. But like when I was growing up, I'll go to a pediatrician and they would do like, okay, this is where you're tracking like height wise and things like that, and they're like, by the looks of it, uh, you should be like a six four six five dude.

Right.

They did the same thing for my brother six four sixty five. This is what you guys gonna be. So I'm like kid growing up, I'm like I got options, like you know.

Yeah, I'm gonna go pro.

I'm gonna go pro or I'm gonna be like a love interest on Insecure. That's what I'm thinking.

I totally see that you can do you can do it, but you guys still do it?

Now what your six ft and do it?

Yeah?

Six feet draw is tall? The un Asian dude.

Lawrence is. Lawrence is like six to five.

I don't know.

I don't know if he's six five. But the light skin dude he's this new man is not tall. No, he's a short to do it. He's a short to do what he's given me, like a cool five nine.

Yeah, he's probably he's.

A he's a blip though. He ain't gonna be around.

So you know, you know next season.

You you got the cheat codes they write us room.

What's going on?

I don't know, man, it looked like he was done.

Nah'm coming back, dude. It does feel like he's done because he like disappeared and then he came back. He's gonna be in the new season. He's gonna be in a couple episodes. Yeah, they bought Lawrence back.

You ain't gonna you ain't gonna ever him. Stand next to Lawrence.

And Lexton Kerman, who was Molly's love interest.

He's short and he was on the show and she's tall, very tough, and they put him on his little apple box and he stood next to her at the cemetery herd.

He had lifts and his Jordan's what.

Okay, boom, Chris. They told you was gonna be six four, you're six ft. You're terribly upset about it.

I am terribly upset because my brother got six four. He actually got it.

Yeah, but you're a tall guy, Like, what's your fine? We're not feeling sorry for you, dude.

I'm not looking for sympathy. I'm just saying, like, this is what it was supposed to mean.

What were you gonna do? What were you said you had options? Were you trying to play ball? I mean, can you play basketball?

I'm pretty good show us the tapes.

Have a TV.

I was playing basketball.

Yes, you don't have any tape, is what you're saying.

Okay, you can't believe I heard you. Gotta tape yourself.

You gotta submit self tapes for a street ball for an one.

What would your nickname?

Right now? He is that tiny pin and you like, listen, do it that listeners. You can't. You gotta be here, man.

Act out is brilliant.

This is some of your best words. You need an award for how messy that was the glow and at least okay, So Chris, that you you're born three months early, you're incubating. That's crazy that they can just pull a baby out of six months and be like, ye, we thought he was so they can open your mom up, see that you're not choking, and then they still got to pull you out. They can't like took you mecuum.

You don't have a pop pie. It's like a chicken pot pie.

You got you gotta refrigerate, you gotta put it on ice.

You you know what it is. It's like you know when you like they vacuum seal a can and then the thing pops open and then when you close it back up, it says, don't purchase if the top is up. Yeah, serious, The top was okay?

But let me did y'all know that I was born a little early too, and because I ate the placenta, the placenta, so I was sick?

Is that why you're lesbian? Sh gross?

Honestly, how are you?

I'm done nemos.

And so they had to shave all my hair. They had to do a surgery. I was in the hospital for an extra like three three weeks.

Wait, you can eat the placenta, I s I feel like you should be able to do that as it looks, but it has like but it.

Has like all the bile and the poop and everything.

It has that all that greedy ass feetus. You're like, I'm hungry.

I ain't got a should be hungry.

And they were like, oh no, look how pruney she is. She ate the placenta.

We gotta shave her head. They shaved my mother.

Theyve you're soft. My mother cried so hard.

She's like, I was like, what the hell did I look like?

My sister said, I looked like a lizard, looked like Grace Jones.

Like it was just a great Jones is a powerful comparion. They can shave a baby with a squishy heads head, Yeah, they can like reshape it.

So the razor, Yeah, they had to do it.

They had to take my hair. I had hair, and that's why my edges are thin.

That's how you're fines.

They shaved your head and they shaved my head prematurely and they never go back.

Wait, so they shaved your head and then what they had to cut your head open? I don't know.

They had to they had to do surgery on my I had like a little surgery, so I dud.

Yeah, Sidney would have been rich if she wasn't born eating placentia. I also was born earlier.

But I was a fat baby, So that's it.

It's weird because you're Haitian. So I mean, I don't understand what that means. But everybody on my dad's side is fat, So it's fat Haitians.

Wait, so how come after like girls get like you can give birth and then some moms eat the placenta.

It's supposed to be good for you, but only because they saw tay it.

You know what I mean?

Flip it.

All right, you.

Can law placenta. You have the old maionnaire huh some Larry garlic salt hat hat and then you you.

See it, yeah, you Emerald Lagasi it you see it.

You eat a placenta tartar yeah, and then you Julian a couple of carrots for it.

Boom boom. This is a food network. They missing out on Rachel, right, don't even know about.

Your secret ingredient is.

And everyone's like, I'm like a smoothie for sure.

I was just wondering if I could get a dash of Can I have the placenta avocado toast?

Thank you so much? Okay, fourteen dollars, he's more than that.

Probably sometime he's expensive.

It's hard to get.

I mean Sidney had it for free, which is my Oh my god, what another time that you cheated death. I mean you got out of Detroit, that's what you won. Yeah, I mean you're in New York now, so you might done tonight again.

All right. I need to just give you like the one that connects that. So when I was twenty, I uh, I was driving, and what kind of car were you in? My first car? It was a ninety two SOB sob.

Oh, you definitely didn't want to live.

Why were you going to sob?

It was like this kind of my parents got me.

They didn't want you to live.

They were setting you up, dude, I don't know what. I've never seen those any rest.

It was a stick shift and they like they got they got it from me for my seventeenth birthday and my stepdad he was like one of those like.

Dad dad dudes.

He like he was like all right, He like drove me like a couple of miles away. He was like showing me, all right, this is what you do.

And then damn, this is a sob. I just googled it. This is what you drove.

Yep, that was it.

It was white terrible carous So he like drives me like two miles away, and he's like, all right, this is what you do. And he like got out and his friend picked him up. He was like see you at home, and that was it. He just left, just left, and he was like, you have to figure out how to get home driving a stick.

I wonder he works for the I R S. He's ruthless.

Yes, no heart, soul gone dead inside anyway.

So he just drove you somewhere, showed you how to do it, and was like bye.

So I was just like stalling for two miles back home, just like that, dude. Everybody hates in the middle.

Of the street.

And you had never driven a car before.

I never driven a stick shift before.

That was it.

That's crazy.

And the stick is not easy.

You gotta like, you gotta use both.

You got to you gotta know how to use the clutch and everything. That shit takes like a day.

I was like, you couldn't take coordination.

You can take me to like a church, parking lot or pathmark or something.

He had things to do. He had, He had a friend, pig.

Up bro some errand he drove from my birthday part.

He drew from your birthday party.

Yeah, it was at my birthday party, and he drove. He went back to the park.

Stepdad is ruthless. He was like, I'm gonna go back and get some wings.

I can't be mad. He got me a card.

Sixties sins they do something nicey.

They could still be shitty.

Okay, I mean it was a SOB six shift, and but you made it back to the party.

Yeah.

So, but the car actually ended up saving my life. So I'm just driving, uh, same day, No, no, no, this is a couple of years later. I was on my way to a party and I'm exiting the highway the four lane exit too left, too right. Second from the left is the guy next to me. We both see that it's like kind of clear to go left. It's like a blinking red so it's kind of going here. When you see it's good.

Okay, you start turning. Next thing, I know, I just wake up upside down? What yeah?

Wake up?

What?

Yeah? I woke up in the sop in the side. It was in the back seat.

Now, oh, you weren't wearing a seatbelt. No, but she was like, I'm cool. You had a seat tilted batish.

Yeah. I mean I mean, don't you're on your.

Big shoulders and small head. Yeah. He was like, I'm good.

I literally woke up to like when it was EMTD is just like slapping the ship out of my arm, just like hey, are you okay, Like can you feel this? And I was just like I was like kind of like hard, come too. He was actually like he was slapping it and I wasn't really responding, and he like this.

Is like tickle. Thing was weird, and you're like, yeah, that's like it's kind of weird to come to, like a bitch. It was weird.

He started doing situation. You're like, I can do it.

So you and your nemo hand.

He's slapping you.

Yeah, he slapping my Then I come to and I'm like yeah, and I like grab his arm and then they like rip the door.

Off, ripped like the Jaws of Life. Yeah, the firefighters had to do it.

Yeah, they came in. They had to like yank the door off, and like this car is built like a tank. It's like back when they just like everything was like still made metal. So it's super heavy, so hard. Yeah, so they so.

Hard while Sydney he turned on to get through Nasty, plasing to eat nasty.

As they dragged me out, they put me on like the board. They cut off my clothes off the middle the street. The super cood was and winter we did chest that name.

They weren't working out.

I wasn't working out at the time, so you had a.

B two K chess.

They're like, so they cut your pants off to.

Cut everything because they got to make sure you're all right, what a show.

I'm here for the show.

I was covered pretty quickly.

They were like, I don't want to see that towel scalvel. They're like, let's put your fitted on it, just putting me the hat.

Then they put me in the back of the ambulance. By the way, ambulance is probably the most comfortable place I've ever.

Been in my life.

The ambulance ride is like eleven thousand dollars that's why it's comfortable, because you didn't get the billion.

There's a perfect temperature that exists, and it's in the back of an ambulance.

No it is.

I was cold, which and this was you with something something in Harlem, so it was trash. I was also in Massachusetts as well. They had the windows open. We need to air this thing out. She smells bed.

So the whole time, I like, can't see and I don't really know why you can't see.

I can't see. And I get to the hospital do all the pre checks. When they're like checking like okay, there's no internal bleeding. I do like the scans, quick scans, and then I go into like the nurses room or whatever, and they're like, Chris, can you can you open your eyes? And I'm like, oh shit, I never thought about trying that. So that I opened my eyes and I can just hear that. It's like like cracking sound and it's like all the glass.

From the windshield had gone into like my eyes.

Ah yeah, oh my god, shattered eyes turned Wait the glass your eyes were closed.

And then you open they were closed. When I came to I could I hadn't tried to open them.

I don't even know why.

So they told me to try open your eyes, and that's what happened when I tried. So, but apparently like this happens pretty often because they straight up just to like like turn me over and they literally like ship my head like like a middle school bully, like looking for change, and ship just like shook it out.

And all the glass came out of your eyes.

Most of it. They have like a little device to actually stick in there that like flushes all the ship last. Yeah, all the shadow.

So what happened to your eyes? You obviously not Rachels.

So what's up?

I got a warm up?

My god, it wasn't. It was like.

It was like, you're obviously not Stevie.

Wonder they re lacerated, but it was like only like a week.

So they gave you lasic for free.

Said, did you know what the word that's rated?

Me?

Yeah, you're looking up the word a deep cut or tear in skin or flesh. So your eyes were last the riding.

Yeah, it's crazy.

Wait, you got blue Cross.

I think I have blue Cross at the time.

He got that IRS insurance. He's doing fine. But what happened, like what car hits yours?

And you I got tea bones. So it's like, uh, straight up by a truck.

Truck hit me on the driver's side, and that's why I flipped, and that's why I ended up in the back seat because I wasn't wearing a seatbelt.

You should be dead, yeah, I really should be.

I should be on the driver's side.

Oh my god, Sidney, So wait, it's everything, Okay, this is something I just please. She's reading magazines and we're talking about Chris's lacerations.

Well, I'm like, nothing happened, dude, he got t bone but on the driver's side.

Yeah, like the truck hit me like right where my door was.

This is some Finalist Nation stuff for really.

But like the total list of injuries, it was like, besides eyeballs had a concussion, I have five broken ribs and I had a hole like in my lung.

The baby line the baby the memo along.

But dad.

So and its fucked up. As they told me this, and then the next.

Day, your dad was like, you got to drive home.

Dad was like you it won't see you back of the crib. No, So I'm expecting to being here for a while. And then one of the nurses like all right, Well, you can't do anything about your ribs because like you don't.

We don't do ribs here, you know, like what happened? How do you fix the ribs?

They just heal on They don't do cast nothing. You just have to like be like that's why, Like if you have anybody, you're seeing noybody with broken ribs, like this sucks to breathe, It sucks to laugh, like you chuckle, and that shit hurts everything.

And how long does it take to heal?

A month? Like two months? Three months?

Two months?

You had five broken ribs? Yeah, so where your seat building now?

So you can't do nothing. And for some reason somebody was like that kind of heills on its own. So you can go home, like you just have to. You can bet if you want. And my family was like all right, cool, So he took me home. I'm like sitting on the couch eating conana, like i'ma be here for a while, and then I get a call from my cell phone. My cell phone, my parents are gonna picked it up in the middle.

Of the street. It was all fucked up. It was O LG. Voyager. I had to like hold it like in two pieces.

I feel like cell phones back in the day used to be real resilient. Yeah, like they were built to last. Now these little sexy ass iPhones they break you.

I trapped this and it's like the whole thing like it got this, got like a bullet this.

Yeah, it's like unsolved mysteries.

I get a call and it's like the hospital. They're like is this Chris. I'm like yeah, and I'm They're like where are you? And I'm like, I'm at home. Y'all said I could peace out, And then they're like you got to get back to the hospital right now. Or I'm like why, like cause you have a hole in your lung and it's like and it's if your lung collapses while you're like sitting on the couch, like you will just like we can't help you, you will just die.

Just let you go. But they knew that here shoot home.

And then they were like, actually they didn't even get anybody to come pick you up.

You had to come over there they could have. My family is like we're in a car, like right now, we're heading to that.

No, but I want an ambulance to come to do a right. Family don't do it right.

They just throw you around and.

Then they like hitting potholes. They're hitting so but they knew that you're ris.

I think if anything I've learned is just like it's like these doctors be fucking up.

All the time, all the time regularly.

That's why people be ready to sue because they're like, wait, that person was fine, all of a sudden they dead, Like, yeah, you fucked up.

That's crazy.

I had to stay there for like like ten days.

So how do they fix a hole in your lungs?

It's basically they said the lung was like borderline. It was like, Okay, it's big enough to like something could happen, but it also could like start to heal on its own. If it starts hell on its own, you're fine. If it doesn't start to heal, they would have to like cut my side and like stick like.

A tube in so you can breathe through the tube.

Yeah, yeah, something like that. I didn't have to get Luckily, I didn't have to go to that point.

Well, because when your lungs are there's a hole in them, you're just breathing in blood.

Yes, like you're basically drowning in your blood.

M god, guys, way to bring the mood down. I mean, I'm just alive. I'm not a doctor or anything, but raise it out of me on that ho And then what's another time that you almost I can't believe that you've almost died twice? How much all that costs?

Dude, who's paying for all this?

That was.

Family wouldn't have let me forgot about that. They'd be like, remember the time, this is where did your insurance go up?

Because Michigan is a no fault state, So it's like what that means. It basically means unless it's like an obvious like Okay, this person like did some reckless on their own.

If it's like two people in collision, it's like you.

Basically Walmart truck t boned you and you got no money from it.

You couldn't sue because because then they also had a case. They also had a case where it's like, oh, you you possibly drove into the intersection and like cut them off some ship. It's like so a toss up kind of thing.

Well, anybody had no cameras, No it was he had a no keya flip phone.

People were like it was at the star. Nobody cared about that at the time.

Damn.

So I already hear that, dude, that's worse than almost dying. I mean you can't sue somebody.

Yeah, ye, somebody.

That is worse than just killing out killing NOWT write the letter, write the damn note. Uh, and then what's another time that you almost died?

Another time I was in middle school?

Yikes? Yikes?

I used to I used to chew pens all the time, used to.

Chew pins, pin caps.

But like entire pin, not like an entire fucking pin, like I would have like the back of the pen, like the closes part, just like chi yeah, in my mouth.

And I was walking up the steps.

O stories already terrific? God, what you literally our final destination?

You better not not in the studio. We have episodes to recording here. So so you're going up the stairs're chewing on.

His pan like a loser. But were you a cool middle school? You seem like you might have been a little bit.

Cool, a little bit. I don't know, I was cool with everybody. Laid back. I've been laid back my tilight.

Yeah.

Crazy.

You always seem so high to me, and you don't smoke weed.

People stole your lunch all the time I see it.

Not hell no, No, Chris was bringing two lunches. He was like, nah, you could have that one. That's cool.

I was, I was trading lunches for honey buns.

For honey buns, my mom made this for you, you know. He's like, yes, you know how you like? Yeah, you placenta cooked. Oh my god, sandwiches are uh you know Artisnal.

Traded two Lunchables pizzas for half a percent.

Yeah, but Lunchable pizzas was yu so nasty. Like looking at them now, the dough was so raw. It was just like, why would you give this to a child?

It was like a soft cracker.

It was like you definitely need to heat this up. This needs to be baked.

But the marketing was too good.

Lunchibles like you wanted them. Remember the original lunchibles.

I feel like it was a cracker, ham and cheese and like a caprisa, and then it was the pizza and now it's na chokes.

And I used to be so mad at people who were coming with lunch and it was like, damn man, they living. But it's like, first of all, that's like not even proper food, lunch meat, like the ham.

Was extra thick and it was like rare.

Yeah, it was not real ham.

Actually yeah, but the marketing Chris is right. The marketing was yeah, because I wanted one in my mom.

No, it wasn't the marketing. It was that damn caprice son.

I was like, damn, you get a caprice you can buy so you gotta eat this wet ass piece of meat wet pizza.

But then wasn't there also like a dessert, like a like a butterfinger, So.

They threw a little tree or brownie or whatnot. It's like, damn, you come from a good home, but really you don't.

Literally, I've never had a lunchable parents.

Who Yeah.

My auntie was like no, well, like why I home you getting home cooked food? Like why would I give you a lunchible?

But I got free lunch. I got like I was in the free lunch program. So I had to eat whatever the school was giving me that like nasty pizza.

She would make me sandwiches. She would like give me food from the night before, like just you brown baged. Yeah, they gave me a lunch box like maybe fifth grade, sixth grade instead of the bags.

It was great.

Oh the hard lunch box with the thermost. I had a good f.

I had a good childhood, for sure. I don't know why I burn my house down.

I don't know. Nasty shut up anyway.

So you're in middle school, take us back.

You're working up the stairs. You probably got on like air walks or Jenko's or something terrible.

I was in private middle school, had uniforms.

Private middle school in Detroit, so that's just like regular middle school.

A private school in Detroita sounds like a public school. So you had your fresh Prince of bel Air blazer on inside out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're coming up the stairs. I have my tie on.

I remember his dude, Jerome in front of me, Droma. I just remember Druma had sickle cell. I don't know why.

Every Okay, so.

I met two Jeromes in my life. They both got sickle cell.

Well that's a black ass disease and a black ass name.

Sam very fitting if you don't have sickle cell and some brand. I feel like somebody on Halloween said Sydney had sickle cell because she was in green face paint.

Am I making this up?

Yeah? Larry, he said, he called me see sea cell, Sea sickle or something.

Sea sickle cell. You did look sick, John, They said, I had johndice AnyWho you're you and.

This Jerome has sickle cell.

He felt faint.

We're in the staircase.

He passed out on the sacase.

He was telling some story to somebody and he got really animated. I don't know what the fuck he was saying. He like swung his arm back and I'm right behind him.

Oh my god, and.

He hit the pen and the pen went through my mouth, like my mouth, the back of.

Your throat, right through your mouth, like in through your face like like.

Didn't it missed the direction of my throat and went through here.

Oh my god, jaw dude. So does Jeromes apologize it? As he finished his.

Story that Jerome's worry about because he got the like the other side of the pen. So he's like, damn, Chris, you stabbed me. I'm like, stabbed you like I have a pintuck.

So you it was like that Chinese thing where you put your finger in the little paper bag and both of your fingers get stuck.

But it was y'all were connected by a pan.

Yeah, he was fine.

He got fucking scratched compared to me, but he got so what happened the killed? Yeah, like immediately, So it's stuck in there, and my first you can't pull it out. I started to pull it out and then I started then the blood started to come out.

Oh this is gross.

No, go ahead, get into it. Maybe headphoned out.

I'm weak.

Let me keep it the magazine.

I mean, so I basically had to wait for. So I'm basically waiting there for like.

You know, it's Detroit, so it didn't come to two years later, pulled up in a SOB.

I'm sitting in the fucking like an off is like an eer because I'm just sitting there and it's like, well, you can't take the pin out of your mouth.

It's just stuck.

But isn't blood coming into your mouth? Or are you like leaning forward? So can you draw this out?

Because I don't even know how this works? Like what where exactly was the pen?

It went into your mouth and came out?

It didn't come out and come out. No, No, it's like like like right above like where you're like wisdom teeth would be.

Oh my god, it was like in there.

Yeah.

Meanwhile, Jerome's like you scratch me. Just this is my good footboo jack to throw up, dude. So the ambulance comes in there like, oh it's this guy again.

This guy.

Yeah, they definitely knew you by first in Social Security and he.

Did yet like no, I'm still alive.

It was.

I mean, they like they did it like pretty much right there, like took it out and like stuffed it or whatever. I got to the hospital and then I had to have like a metal plate.

Took it out right there hot the ghetto, Like you can't just wait till you get the ghetto, shout out, like as.

Soon as I got there, and they like they just put like a metal plate.

So now you have a metal plate in your mouth.

It's gone now. I had to wait for it to heal. And then the plate came out. This whole mouth is like I feel like I've had too much shit, Like like half my tooth is fake?

Are you guy some dental?

H Yeah? What you got this front one?

Let me see what happened to the front truth.

Me and my brother was racing for shotgun and he was slow, but he's mean, so he pushed me into the fucking like just the window.

Yeah, yo, he was slow, but he was mean, they didn't get the sides too slow, but they just got that one tooth.

They didn't get the sides, like, yo, get the whole thing done, Yo, Sydney, Sidney, you had a little bit of dental work and you don't know how to He's like.

Package, you get the premium.

I got the platinum package, the diamond package. Honestly, damn damn, Chris, You've been through it. What have you learned from all of this? Do you live life to its fullest? Do you have sex with no condom?

Like you?

I like guy looking out for me? Are you sure, like I'm sure?

Have you learned this? Are you wearing a seatbelt in the car now?

Sometimes? Yeah? My god, if I'm in the back seat.

Yeah, the back I feel like you get on the bus and put on the I can see bout like you're scared.

I'm not scared.

Like even like after that happened, like when I feel like I had more weird stuff happened, even like after I started hanging out with more white people.

Oh well, naturally that's what happened.

I remember one time, because when I started, like I remember when I moved to the suburbs, like that year one didn't didn't talk to nobody, didn't want to talk to nobody, none of that.

Like your hair was weird and they were like, your hair was weird.

And I looked like I came in and I went to private school. And I was like, so in Detroit you go to private school, you were above like Detroit public schools.

But in the suburbs. Yeah, in the suburbs, just like you're regular. But they put me in.

They were like, oh, you should be ready for all these like advanced classes. They put me on these classes with these like grown ass kids and shiit uh.

And I was like, so it was like night school.

Yeah, it was a geneah, but.

I was like I didn't talk to nobody at all. I remember one time, like we had like a substitute that you're coming like math class, and I just like asked the question.

I was like can you go back and repeat that?

And then like she was like uh yeah, whatever, and then like just scoffed, and like next day a real teacher came back and he was like, Okay, these following people have attention. It's like the people who like usually fuck up those kids. And it was like they called my name and I was so quiet. Everybody else stood up for me. He was like, how the fuck does Chris have attention? He don't even fucking talk in class?

Like that was me.

She gave you attention for asking to explain something because she didn't know it. Pretty much substitute teacher, this is trash.

So I didn't even I didn't even start hanging out with people in suburbs. So I was like sixteen seventeen, so.

You didn't have no friends for years, not like a year. Okay, the next year, okay, I'm like years.

But then so like I'm doing this. So now I'm like, I'm more white friends. I'm doing this extra shit. So like a lot of people in Michigan skiing and whatnot, yeah, all that stuff I probably like shouldn't have been doing.

Like the first time I rode an ATV, they're like, you got it.

I was like, yeah, I got it, And I went up like a steep hill and I didn't know like you were supposed to like down shift and all that, and you just rolled on it, just rolled back. I'm like, I have this ATV and me and his ATV just flipping just backwards down like the Hannah bar is like here like on my head, right around it.

Because you thought you was DMX. You were like stuff, yeah, drive shut them down.

It was nothing like Cradles of the Grave.

Straight up, body, you really like that movie.

You know you really like that movie. You're here for a DMX film, Chris.

I'm just blown away that this much ship has happened to you, and like you're you're just so calm, like you don't seem like you're off right all.

These near death stories. I feel like Sydney has the energy for somebody who's.

Eight times. You're just like energy, Yeah, that's that placenta energy.

No, but I have that like, oh, you might have a hole in your lunge type energy.

Kind of because I've seeing you try to run and I'm like, he's not gonna make it.

No, that's the diabetes cell. Try to run. Oh my legs are itching.

I think my skin is dry.

No, so literally your body telling you you never run circulation.

Trying to go around is.

Like, oh get we moment and Sidny's like, oh my legs are itching. She literally telling you anything, Sidney, you went on a run with me and she was like ah.

I was like, Sydney, we haven't even done a full lap and she's like, yeah.

But my legs are I don't work out together.

No, I used to work out with Sydney because then I would never work out it. Don't do that. I can't work out with somebody who's not going to like start and stop. I just want to get it in and get out. I want to be in the gym for an hour and then be done. If I go to the gym with anybody else, not just you, I just feel like it's gonna take longer because they're gonna be complaining and they're gonna want to stop and and I can't.

But is your gym if you go, you're just in and just I'm in the mirror. I'm snappedatting other people struggling at the gym. She's timing, she's zooming into people's shoes.

Yeah, like I'm doing everything, just working out.

If there's a show on.

If there's a show, I'll be on the elliptical for thirty five minutes.

I can't do that. I can't go in.

I'm in and out, in and out.

Oh we can tell marms in and out.

So like, Chris, you've been through all this, all this stuff, so Does that make you like more of a daredevil now or I.

Don't go looking for it? Just fine.

He was just trying to get off the ramp. Yeah, you're just trying to get to his exit t bone. He's just trying to incubate and like grow some lungs pulled out the womb too fast. Now he's a short six six feet tall.

A short six foot I mean, I've never gone through any stuff and so so that's why I feel like I'm more adventurous and dangerous because I haven't had enough near death.

What's adventurous for you? Though?

It's all you're going hiking?

Sis, Oh, I've been hiking in Puerto Rico. You're not looking for.

Like you're like, let's just go hiking this weekend. That's not who you are.

I don't like that, but I have done copious amounts of kenemie.

I hate you so much.

My mouth My mouth is so dry where it's like, wait, why are you doing this?

Like do you want to live? It's like no, I'm just having I'm having fun. What's the kenemine? I feel like because the way that you talk about it, it seems like should I trop emy?

You feel silly like everything everything is like discombobulated and you your your vision is weird and.

I could just take an edible for that.

Yes, it's kind of like it's kind of like an edible, but for ten times more than that. I like shrooms could be shrooms too, but if you have a good trip, I've had. I've had bad trips in mushrooms, So that's why I don't do them. It's not for me. Like if you if you haven't unpacked a lot of things, if you haven't gone to therapy, you do mushrooms, shit start coming out and you like want to hide in a cloud.

So you say, mushrooms not for black people.

Yeah, I love shrooms.

Yeah, how often do you do them?

Like every other year?

I'll do shrimps every other year. It's not like you don't really do them that much, or you'll do them for a whole year and then took a year off.

I need a break from.

That's okay, So what's a good shroom?

I feel like it's like total elation. It's like I feel silly as hell, like everything's funny to me.

Yes, that's academy.

I can't stop laughing. I'll just look at people, and I'm just like dog, you're purple and it's the funny ship I've ever seen.

I don't know what you been in your shrooms room, because I feel like I should end the year off with some shrooms.

Is this a shroom year or you off shrooms?

This year is a shroom year. I still got to do them.

Okay, oh great, let's get it.

Let's get a team together. We need a chaperone.

You can do yourcad me.

No, I can't.

City's sober now, I'm sober, thank you, So I can't, but I will watch.

I'll see.

That's a good Actually, need you watching? You gotta put your phone. You got to turn your phone off.

You had to turn it in at the door because you're not gonna be shooting videos of meal shrooms to post on the ground.

Why you posted videos?

Posted videos? You're looking crazy.

You never regular never learned the beautiful photos.

That's a lot.

City shoots all these videos and then they'll pop out on my birthday and I'd be like, the.

Fuck, what did I do?

I just saw you do the same thing in Sydney.

But she came out in public like that. She came out looking like I.

Saw that, and I was like, you like you turn it into she hooked but didn't finish.

Oh you got fucking jokes?

How dare you?

You won't stop?

Yo?

Is there another tag for that movie?

No?

For Nemo having a tiny fin? I mean he went into the filter at the dentist's office because he had the smallest fin or whatever.

Anyway, I was like, so not the point of the movie either, No, but.

He did have a tiny fin, like you have a tiny look goddamn it?

And by tiny is it like is one regular size? Are they both little?

No?

One is regular and one's like half the other. I don't know.

Damn.

What's your kidneys and stuff?

Look like? You? They good?

They good?

It's good.

I have a question when you're like dating, do you tell people like if these like conversation starters, like do you let them know about the turmoila that you went through.

On the first day? He was so I almost died twelve times?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the first time.

Yeah, the scariest time. Let's go back to my birth.

You bring out your PowerPoint reason next slide, because like, if you check your email, I just I just air dropped Google on your Google docs.

That really I feel like the car story comes up everywhere, like at some point usually it's like that was like a big like turning point in my life after that, Like I started working out after that.

I had like after they had to rip open your chest and ship, You're like, yo, my body better be right if they ever do that again.

I gotta have abs and.

Pecksans I was in there looking weak and fragile, looking like.

A fabricate egg. Oh my god, because.

Like even like comedy, like I was already like starting doing comedy in Michigan at the time, and I had to show a Michigan State like a week after that, and I was like a week or two after that, and they're like, you know you want to do it.

I was like, yeah, i'm'a still try to do it. And I go and it's terrible because.

I can't like talk, like I said, like any moment of like talking to out or even like a chuckle or a laugh is just like pain. So I'm telling the joke and I'm just like and then it's like I have to kill over because you're red, Yeah, because I'm so much pain.

And I was just you were still doing comedy with brute Brude I do not love comedy.

That might hate comedy.

You can stay in the house for less. You heard me, self care, self care. I'll stay home if the train. If I missed too many trains, I'd be like, oh, I missed two trains in a row. I guess I'm not coming back. I think that's God just telling me to stay home.

But like all that, like all that, I got started to like hate. I didn't even like comedy. It was weird. I just like didn't want to do it.

I was like, oh, I totally understand, sir. I learned my lungs are perfectly fine.

I'm done with this. I hate it.

I'm not going to park Slow.

I'm not going to Yeah, I gotta go into the city to do comedy tonight.

Take two trains.

I'm staying in Brooklyn this evening. Mm hmm, no, thanks.

Well did we learn anything today? We learned that Chris, uh, you will live to be one hundred and twelve. You really are.

And I feel like my skin will be great. I saw my grandma a couple of me good.

She got skin, And I really just feel like, take the risk, man, just don't wear a condom. I feel oh my god, I got it. I feel like you got it, dude.

Like you got what you know what?

No, because if you got all these lives in your sperm, geez nine lives.

Yeah, the Plan B your sperm is this this sperm that Plan B can Yes, that's what it is. Point, Oh my god, that should be your show.

You should write a pilot based off your sperm that like never dies.

What good that It would have to be animated, animated.

It would have to be first.

Don't say I ain't never gave you nothing, gives any executive producer credit. That the sperm that and then the sperm that just it leaves the uterus and starts traveling the actual body.

What is it?

The magic school?

Imagine the firm that it's No, it's brilliant.

People will watch it. It's an adult swim, adult swim.

Oh, I'm telling you, Oh my god, I'm telling Chris, shout out to you and your miss frizzle sperm. Hello, Hello.

Sperm definitely has dreads for sure, Chrismas.

You got a couples firm with like fades and whatnot?

Got waves.

I'm here for it. So what's next for you?

Yeah, dude, with all these stories, you got to do something and be somebody.

Yeah, if you want to be somebody, you want to go somewhere.

You gotta do something.

What you're gonna do a right? Was that supposed to be prepared for that for that question?

No, this is a deep question that you should just be knowing. Yeah, what's like, what's next? Like, what's your goal in life?

Who you about to be?

What's next? Let's see.

I'm definitely next year twenty eighteen. I'm traveling a lot, so get.

Into some money.

Who you, sue?

I found a loophole.

I got a good nine to five.

But you you skipped work to do the podcast today, so you have money?

So yeah, we heard the episode.

You're actually big fans of the Unofficial Experts?

Are they looking for a job?

We are, but we don't want one.

Yeah, I don't know.

Traveling more, keeping calmed me? Going my show Auntie's House is. We're going to try to make that bigger and better show.

It's a fabulous it's great. Next what is it like every third Saturday.

Or the next one's gonna be different and like a Christmas one December fifteenth?

Okay, cool? This guy come out before them. I don't want to help you with your plugs and ya ya.

Thank you.

This will come out you know next week.

Cool. Cool. We should have tickets on sale then and then, you know, maybe I'll do another podcast.

I don't know, not the book of he Kanye West is dead to us, Kanye.

West is dead.

No, me and Robill do something.

Yeah.

We love Rob Hayes. He's in l A doing big things. We love him. He was our Atlanta expert. This is great, Chris.

Thank you for coming to this podcast and not dying on your way here.

Yo. I feel like when he gets out of here, he's just like this, a piano and a piano.

And he's gonna have an advil and.

Suicide.

Don't even run a suicide. I said an anvil. Oh my god, wow advil.

I had lacerations from the advil.

I gotta go, I gotta pee. We need to leave, Chris, thank you so much. People gonna find you Auntie's house. The next one is December fifteenth. It's Christmas theme were an ugly ass sweater? Yes, or like a who ass missus Claus costumes. Also make sure you subscribe and review the podcast.

Y'all be everywhere We're on Apples, Spotifyify, Wherever Sam Wherever Samsung's get it.

Uh, you know your best lives.

Bye Bye, Forever.

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