"The Breakup Expert" with Giulia Rozzi

Hey, Hello, Hello, Hello.

Welcome to the Unofficial Expert Podcast with Sydney and Marie.

Hi, guys, Hello Sidney, what's up?

How you doing? Oh I'm good. I'm tired. I'm like, yeah, you came in real. I want to say cranky, but like, I'm not. I'm not a morning person. I'm not listen two o'clock that's when i'm my best me. Before that, I'm like, Okay, what are we doing. Let's hurry up because I'm tired. What were you doing at two o'clock last night? I went to bed, Matt early.

I'm just tired.

I'm like a tired person. You know, there's such a thing as getting too much sleep, right, Like that's a thing. Well, I biked all day yesterday, so I was tired from that. So I literally got up early, went to brunch with the bike, went to a show with the bike.

The bike.

Yeah, I'm like, this bike thing is annoying, but it's good. I need it because I need the cardio. I mean also, your legs, I mean your legs are already good, so I can't really see a difference, but.

They just look like you had good legs before.

Yeah, but I need the cardio. I need to get my you had good legs and crappy cardio. Yeah, I need to get the blood flowing. I need to make sure my legs are not itching. Walk. No, they don't. So I'm doing a good job for myself. So some of y'all listening might not know this, but like sometimes people who are not as active as others, when they start to walk or they try to.

Run, their legs start eaching.

And that's legit just the blood circulating in your legs.

Like wait, what we stand and move forward? Mind you?

I was like, oh, I think I have like the hives or I feel like I have like a skin skin rest. Sydney would be like I didn't put any lotion on today, and I'm like, dude, it's inside, it's underneath the ash. But now we know that it's because you know she won't really be walking you you walk to Ubers. Well, no, I'm actually I don't itch anymore because I'm being more active. So I'm doing great gay

Like, just go on without me.

And I was like, it was so sad. And then we went to your sister's boot camp on Saturday and I could not keep up. I literally felt like I was gonna faint. And then all these people in the park were like, well, she's the thinnest one.

Why is she not She looks so in shape, and it's like, nah, dude.

I was doing crunches and I needed like modified everything pig her body. I could not. I was like, I got a lot of weights, you couldn't crack. I had a wig on, so the wig was heavy as well. I was working out with a wig. So listen, if anybody's interested in coming to the boot camp, it's nine am every Saturday at Washington Square Park. Yeah, it's great in Manhattan. Don't wear a wig to boot camp. Please don't because I feel like that's added weight. It's so much weight, not ready to sweat.

The wig gets heavy.

And she had a hat on. I had a hat on. And then we had to run laps and I was like, oh, eight, all eight, and then no that we had to run extra because y'all were late. Yeah, that's so fuck that boot camp ship. It should be for every man's for itself. Like that. Why the whole group gotta suffer because of a late bitch. I know they should have made y'all run the ten and let me just run a cool eight.

That was that's what we're doing.

Uh. We were getting our summer bodies right for the fall. Nah, my shit's gonna be ready by the winter time. I'm gonna have a twelve pack when it's like two degrees outside.

Watch under a bubble coat. Watch, I'm gonna.

Have a midriff on and it's gonna be like a blizzard going on. You're gonna right underneath my bubble coat. It's gonna you know, you're gonna have like a like a half bubble coat.

Like a hood rat.

Oh yeah, a baby fat. I might have a little baby fat, a white baby fat with like with the for her with the rat horse for like a blend with the squirrel, a blend with like some pigeon. Oh man, I having like pigeon feathers and duck. Okay, I was like, pigeons don't have her. But Sidney, what the hell were you an expert in this week. Well, I finally cooked for my girlfriend for the first time in three years,

Dude, just threw everything in the pan and then cooked.

You're fucking hat, Listen, this is what this is the moves that I'm making in a relationship.

So last night I made tacos.

I made ground turkey tacos and shredded chicken tacos or whatever, and it was so freaking good that I was like, these are for her. You said it was so freaking good, Well, you have your girlfriend here to talk about. She took some for tour. They were good.

Yeah, she does wanted that stuff atter her house.

No, I bought everything the same day fresh from Key Foods, so you know it goes bad the next day, so I definitely had to cook everything right away.

You made soft tacos, hard tacos. I made both.

She had options and they were the Accouts Ramonts I had. Obviously, we had some tomatoes, We had onions, we had lettuce, we had shredded cheese, we had sour cream, we had hot sauce, mouthed sauce. Dude, what I feel like, tacos is a pretty basic thing to make you just to shred the girl in relationship with me. I'm just why you I'm cutting my ship down. Did you cook the ground turkey or I did? Okay, well then that's cooking. And I had the season and everything. Okay, all right,

She better have a ring ready for you. Thuk, Oh my god.

You think Adrian is the one that's gonna propose, It's not gonna be you. Honestly, I feel like we're just gonna be real regular.

Y'are both take a knee at the same Who need rings.

We're in a partnership. You don't need a ring. We don't need a man. We don't need a wedding. Who needs to do all that ship that's for everybody else. So y'all gonna go to the Justice of the peace. Yeah, that's what we do.

Probably y'all both canna wear suits pants, suits.

I'm a come in there with a yoga pant, a white yoga pan, a white Lulu Lemon that's disgusting.

Active wear that's gross.

I'm gonna have white an all white Ivy park a little like a veil though, Like, yeah, I'm gonna have like a what do they have those parachute pants'mna have that on maybe like a little windbreaker jumpsuit thing win suit, Yes, yeah, winsuit.

I'm gonna wear win suit for my wedding anyway.

So I do thank you so much for this past week. Let's talk about what I was an expert at. I was an expert at finding Game of Thrones and not having HBO. So I'm not gonna tell y'all what streaming service that I use because I don't need y'all to, you know, clog up the website. It's ending your business sliding my DMS, and I'll tell you what it is. So I was an expert at like just finding like where to stream that, but also I was an expert this week.

At receiving dick pics.

Last time you were here, I was like, no one ever sends me dick pics. They know better, Like legit, three penises are sitting in my DMS right now?

What no words, just dicks. Oh yeah, that happens to me on Facebook a lot.

And what's crazy is that it'll be like a distinguished older man that I'm like, oh, it'll be somebody with a salt.

And pepper haircut, peper puw Yeah. And then I'm like, Yo, they don't even that dick, don't even match the profile pick that you got going on here.

Yo, I've been getting I got a dick last night, just the dick.

And I was like, you're not even gonna introduce yourself or no good evening, No good evening. Hey, queen peace queen, here's a picture of my dick.

Mee, just hold on. I'm I'm trying to get to my d MS because you know, I didn't accept none of these requests. Oh, you got to accept him. Oh no, Sydney, you don't want to. I don't want to accept any of them. Here's one dick, and it's a beige dick. I didn't even I didn't even know. That's fucking rude. It's still fuzzy because I was like, no, I don't want to see it.

It looked like a puffsicle. Mind you. His name is lost in confusion, lost in the confusion. Let me give you another dick.

Hold on at him, somebody at him, lost in confusion, in the confusion.

I'm gonna rate that penis a good old six. I mean, it's quite the six point five.

I'm not here for the dick.

That dick looked like you don't have no type of job. That dick is on his mom's couch right now.

It looks like a pullout catch. There's another dick. I'm not even gonna tap it for you. Oh that's a black fla dick. It looks short. It looks short. Also, he looked like he got chubby hamed. It looks like it needs a ladder or stepping stool. Dude, I don't know, but uh, those are the dicks that I got in the last couple of days. So I was an expert at just you know, being my best Christian self, curving dicks and getting uh getting that Game of Thrones dick.

I watched for the dragons.

Okay, I watched for the dragons and John snow, I he does it. That's it. That sounds born. Wow. People were running home to go watch fucking Game of Thrones, and I was like, I don't get it. I had a show and I was like, I didn't realize until I left my house said it was Game of Thrones to.

Day and I was like, damn, I should just tell her.

I'm sick.

I was like, I don't understand what the big deal is.

I don't either, but our guess is a pretty big deal.

Oh my god, such a big deal.

And we're having a great topic today because I definitely need some help on that. I do. I'm not good at it.

Do you know what the topic is?

Yes? I do, because it's not really what it is that you I don't think it is what it's the opposite what I think you think it is. Our guest today is is a comedian and she's a writer, she's an actress. She's our breakup relationship expert and our rebound six experts.

Oh, so that's what you need.

Help, let me help on it.

It's Julia Rossi.

Julia Hi. Julia.

I was like, I'll take I like this title. It's a great title. I mean, we were not to shorten it for the iTunes.

So you're just going to be like, you're the breakup true, you're the breakup expert.

I've never seen Game of Thrones. I just want to put that out there. Thank you, and I have HBO.

Funk would you thank you?

It's not on purpose.

I just get weird about stuff that's in other dimensions of fantasy.

She's not even using her privilege, Like how dare you have HBO? And you're not even going to dibble dabble into the HBO movies.

I just watched Defiant Ones, which was so good, the documentary Doctor Dre and Jimmy.

I mean, what's that about.

Oh, it's about how trip like the creation of like Innerscope Records and bh.

Okay did they talk about how he used to be his ex wife.

They it wasn't his ex wife, it was a reporter she was on.

But he did be his wife though doctor dre he threwsome chick down the stairs. Yeah, it was in the actual like straight out of Compton movie they talked about they talked to that woman and him.

Oh she was They let her be in the documentary.

Yeah, it was really good.

And I also, I don't want to say this because I don't want any dick pics to not send them to me.

But I've never gotten a dick peg.

I said that last.

Week right there in this living room, and somebody, two people sent me dicks.

I had to beg and request them from like people I was looking up with and I don't know. They're like, I respect you. I'm like, oh, disrespect me. I only want to be disrespected when I request it.

Yeah, but I don't want to. Dicks are ugly things. Yeah, I want to see them. If you think a.

Watch somebody send you a dick pic with like the dick got a little like suit on, a little top hand at face on it. You're gonna dress them up like mister Penis with a little monocle.

Yeah, please don't send me the monocle right on the tip. Oh my gosh.

Sorry, they're gonna say the w B.

Give me a plane in the background.

Kenny G.

Dick pic. Do you think Kenny G sends dick pics?

Definitely is really funny on the Internet Twitter.

Oh yeah, I think he sends pictures of saxophones. That's what he probably his.

Pictures of himself playing a sax. He's like, do you like good Sacks? He's real funny. If Kenny G is listening, I would love to be your friend.

Kenny G.

Hit us up.

You could be our Sacks.

We're gonna add him on this at Kenny G. I'm looking for him on Instagram right now. Kenny.

Also, I want to know what products he uses in his hair.

Probably shame oisture. No, he looks like a type dude.

Yeah you think so?

Yeah, definite is just out of them.

He uses fruit trees. He honestly will his stuff be a little crunchy, So I feel like it's like a jail Yeah, like a like a pink jel like from the beauty supply store that costs like ninety ninety Look.

At that look at Kenny nineteen nineteen ninety three.

But what does he look like now? A black and white curl. He looks like Howard stern O. No, Kenny, he looks like Howard's clean brother. Okay, well both the Kenny g We need to talk about this breakup expertise you got going on here?

Yeah, us take us through.

Your dating my situation. Yeah, like when's the first young first kiss? Halloween, first kiss, seventh grade? It's funny.

This week I was in Boston and I was I went to the park with my nieces and it was the park where I had my first kiss and like got flooded with.

I was like super rejected.

Like when I was a teenager, I had like, no, who has game when they're twelve but body?

But still, anybody who has game as a kid was molested for sure. No, anybody who has a game as a kid is fat. Now I probably got like a kids and never left the town they started.

I was like I always went after guys that like ignored me when I was a teenager and like into college.

So that was like my first kiss.

And then I didn't have any boyfriends in high school. I just had like guys that I liked that were like, I.

Don't like you. I'm like cool, I'll call you tomorrow.

You know. Uh.

That was like my thing.

I didn't have any I wasn't allowed to date in high school. I feel like I'm still not I allowed to date. My parents are not here for it. I people would like write me notes, and it was always like the nastiest dude who couldn't really spell and even like folded, like he wouldn't even fold it. Cute. I don't know if you went to school when people were like, oh, you had to pull things and the note popped.

Open like a pop up book.

And this guy wrote me a note and he asked me out, and I was like.

Well, you know, I gotta I'm.

Gonna say no, but I'm gonna say it nice, right, And so he thought I liked him because I was really nice about it. And found out a couple of years ago he killed two people and that he.

Was in jail for us his life. So Dodge that Dick.

I was always the person who liked people. So I would go on the Yellow Pages and look for their phone number. I would get their parents' number, of their parents full name. I would call the fucking house and ask for them, and then they would pick up, and then I would hang up. That's what I would do. I would go to the parents full name. Oh, people would always say their mom's first name. At school.

Oh, you could get I used to with My first lived down the street from me, so I would walk by his house. My sister had a crush and like had hooked up with his older brother. So then when she got a car, we would do drive bys. But I don't even know what we were looking for, like, oh, he's home, cool.

And then speed away.

Yeah.

And then the guy that I gave my first hand job to in high school, damn, I mean my boyfriend.

But then he wasn't even your boyfriend.

No, and then he well he acts a little hands too.

Let me see these are little hands. No.

I got like it's so funny as I've gotten a lot of a handful of day hands.

Though you got thick hands.

Got like three comments on YouTube from very serious comedy experts that are like, funny, but her.

Hands are too big, or he's got man hands.

You know, they're definitely not man hands, but I feel like you have a grip, Like you definitely need lube when you do it. I wouldn't. I wouldn't dry hand job there.

Yeah, I was like gripping like logs of salami as a.

Child, even palm a basketball.

Yeah yeah, yeah I got I got a pretty sturdy grip. But she said, you got w NBA hands. Thank you.

They also been back really far like that.

Yeah yeah, yeah, they've been. I know, no one can see it's listening.

So your first hand job was in high school, can't.

Yeah, during the movie I do talk about this on stage to start for myself, but it was during the movie Mighty Ducks Too.

We called it Mighty Dicks Too is always a comedian.

And uh yeah.

He we couldn't date because his mom got caller ID while we were talking. That was like I don't know if yayo we call it. It was like pre dating. So we were talking and then we had to stop talking because his mom got caller ID and he was like, why did you call me thirty times?

I was like, oh, well, you weren't answering and I want to, you know, just make sure girl. Yeah, you know, I just want to make sure you got it.

And yeah, So that didn't work out, so I didn't have like my first you know, mutual relationship where both parties were in agreement till.

Let's see the.

Beginning of my junior year of college. So like right before I turned twenty, Well.

That makes sense. Yeah, I feel like that's when everybody had like real relationships, a.

Real relationship, but I did high school.

High school is not real relationships.

It's not.

But I do feel like I had a lot of friends who were like my ex boyfriend this and then this boyfriend, and I felt.

Very they were touched by their uncles. I'm telling you. I mean, I'm not gonna okay, yeah, we'll say it for you.

Yeah, don't write a BuzzFeed article, no.

Podcast.

Yeah.

So, and then that first boyfriend ended up being the person that I married.

So we were like, wait, marry your first boyfriend.

Wait you were married? I was married.

Yeah.

Yeah, she's here to talk about breakups. Yeah and divorce. Yeah yeah we were. We were together for eight.

Years, but we were only married a year.

Whoa, Yeah, so you were together first seven, got married, lasted for a year. Yeah, we broke up. I broke up.

We broke up once for real, and then a second time. It only lasted like a few days. But he's great we're still friends. He's like, yeah, but wait, why seven?

Let's back up.

That's why seven, Like you spent seven years without marrying him. All of a sudden, you were like, you know what.

My god, how long is this podcast?

You got to.

It's uh we you know, so you guys dated junior year and senior year of high school, college.

Half of junior year, half of senior year, and then after that up until yeah, like for years.

So how does that? How did guess that work?

He we we were very we were friends before we were dated, so like our relationship was very friendship.

Based, so you were being a relationship and then he would come and like hold your hand and make you feel better.

If the guy was it would both be in relationships.

And then when one of us, yeah, like he was like, the guy would go to get advice.

Okay, I just knew this guy.

Why isn't he calling me?

And I was like, yeah, I know, I really I really had good self esteem and so I, uh yeah, so we just we fell in love and he's waiting.

Now this sounds like a like a rom com, like White People romantic comedy movie. Like he's Ashton Kutcher and you're obviously nilakun.

Is because he's very white.

I'm like, I just we just assumed, Okay, I have Sydney were when she said we're talking, I was like, maybe when you said that, you start talking in high school. It's so funny.

The guy I was talking to high school was black. I know, no, but I mean my ex husband is like white white, like like like Polish ethnic white.

He's like main white. Yeah, yeah, you can't cape yeah, cape Cod.

I'm like, you get it, tan, but you're Italian. I'm Italian.

Yeah, he's still white.

You can catch a cat.

I use my privilege when I can, but I also feel good that I can walk through certain neighborhoods and be like what I'm Latina, Like when.

Do you really You're like, oh, okay, I'm definitely didn't fund the block.

I'm like and whatever you need me to be.

Well, I mean, listen, Jennifer Lopez is white into all of the movies that she.

Yeah, and she's brilliant.

Yeah, and she's.

Definitely not Puerto Rican in enough. Yeah.

And Jelie I think she was like super Italian.

I just feel like when you have like my parents are immigrants, so I feel like when you have that, it's hard for me to be like, I'm not white white because there's like a grunge.

Were you next to us? Girl?

You are white white?

I forget, But I know what you mean about your parents immigrants, Like my parents are immigrants too, And I feel like when I talk to black folks, I'd be like where.

You are people from?

And they'd be like here, and I'll be like you just regular black? So like you're not regular white, You're yeah.

You know you story about the lunches, right, yeah? The food? Yeah, I mean that's my life.

Yeah.

The way that my parents packed food.

Is like, like's gonta spill, so let's tape it, throw it in a bag.

And like so many bags make it look like.

How many bags?

So you were married with this dude? You guys got a divorce? How did that end? So basically I was before I got married.

I knew this, okay, So I didn't know what else to do with my life. So I suggested we get married because everyone else was getting married and it felt like the right thing to do and what you should do and.

All that like should ship.

That is very If anyone is listening and you find yourself saying the word should a lot. That should be an alert. Then that goes for like career for anything, like.

I should be doing this. I should do this, it's my job.

Yeah, I should like this person. They seem really great, like and if you're high. Also, my therapist is like, whenever your voice goes into a higher optics, I'll be like, oh, I should go Like that means I'm lying to myself.

But yeah, my voice is there pretty often.

Yeah that's just because I'm like trying to pull a point.

Yeah, but that's still you still have that like you're not like.

I don't know like that like wine, yeah, Mickey mouse help.

But before you guys got married, you kind of Oh, I knew.

I was like losing my mind.

I was like I was living in New York and then I was like we should get married and move to the suburbs of Boston because I don't know what I'm doing with my career. I like I wanted to quit everything. I was like I should be normal, Like.

Did you have any girlfriends? Like, like, do you have any girls around you? Telling you like no, I mean there's something else.

You could do better, like it, Well, the do better is a tough one because he's a great guy. Like we really it wasn't like we were arguing.

There wasn't. We were just really passive aggressive. It was terrible.

No, the sex was good like it was. I mean I didn't have a ton of intercourse comparisons. I only had sex with one other person.

So yeah, so you don't even know. Yeah, you have nothing to judge, but now I do judge, and it was it was good. Like we we communicate.

You remember all those different strukes for different folks.

But it was it was just it was bat like we I knew then. I was like, oh, man, if only I had met this person, I mean I can't guarantee, but like maybe if we had met ten years later, it would have been different.

But it was just like not the right time.

So you said, he's a good guy. Where was he working.

He was occupation like TV production. It's like really creative and amazing, like supportive.

Yeah, health insurance and stuff he had.

He had insurance. Yeah, yeah, like it was.

It just the friendship was stronger than I think for me, I can't speak for all relationships, but I have found that like for me, it kind of has to be equal parts everything so it's like it can't be like I want to be friends with them, but we can't be more friends than we are, like passionate, but it can't be all passion and no friendship, no relationship.

I agree, you know what I mean.

Like, and I also have to feel like they're family in the sense of they'll like take care of me and we have each other's back. But I also don't want it to be like, e, you're like my brother, like you know, like it's got a kind of all work in.

A balanced way.

And I felt like in that relationship the friendship part dominated any passion.

So you married your friend zone, That's what you did. You married your friend how they were fist bumping in the bedroom, there.

Was some high fiving that would happen.

You had him on the back, good job, yeah yeah, yeah yeah.

So it ends and now you're divorced.

So what Just.

To back up one second, but I will say friend zone because again, if anyone's listening, I think it's very easy to do that, because if you think about it, in my head, I thought relationships were jerks who ignored me, that I had to follow right and chase around and be like I remember me or a guy that's really fucking cool in my buddy. I didn't know that there was like something else else, right, So yeah.

One more question, So who's your girlfriends at the time, Like, I just want to know who your friends were. They weren't telling you to go out their friends. They weren't out there, Like yeah, he's a good guy, but like I feel like you need more experience.

Yeah, I have friends who mentioned it or tried to talk about it.

What they say. I mean.

I had a couple of friends when I was leaving New York. I had to really good friends be like, what do you so you're quitting life? Like they were like very concerned, but I'm very good or it used to be very good at swaying people to get on board, like the you know when you like okay, so you know when you ask someone's opinion, but you do it in a way where you're exc answer. So I'll be like, okay, do you guys think I should stay in New York

That sounds great. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like a duck girl, you should have gotten married.

Do your dad still.

In Boston?

Yeah, I'll save money and boss.

Yeah, So I was really I think I was really good at minimizing. I'm I've learned to be less good at and I've learned to be better about telling people like, hey, I'm in a really bad place and I'm upset or I'm like feeling depressed.

But I think like a lot of people, i'd be like, oh, fine.

You know, really good at just seeming fine.

And then when I'm not fine and people ask me, I'm good at yelling at them until they leave me alone.

So I'm doing really well.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We all have our fat yeah, our methods. But yeah, I don't know.

It's it's just at the time, it seemed like what I should all caps red letters be doing.

So who did the who initiated the divorce?

I initiated getting married and the divorce.

Damn. Yeah, women, Yo, you're a great team right here. I love it when you said you wanted to get a divorce. Was he like like, oh my god, thank you so much for saying.

That, or no, I mean the part of the problem with our dynamic was he yes, an improv he yes, and me when I needed more of a I think we should talk about this like he yeskeed me a lot and not and then I think, I mean, I can't speak on his behalf, but I'm sure if if someone would talk to him now.

Deeply about it, he'd probably be like, No, I actually.

Was mad, but I didn't know how to express it because we just never wanted to hurt each other's feelings.

So there's just a lot of enabling.

I feel like real love, real.

Real love is hurting somebody's feelings every like every other conversation. Yeah, my feelings I got hurt all the time now in my relationship.

But you know, I'm a growing way.

I mean, I don't know if I'm.

Growing, but like rolling my eyes, hurt him, hurt someone's feelings every other conversation, and maybe throw something at them.

Oh I don't know about that.

Okay, Well that's that was my that was my relationship about from my marriage. Okay, So okay, so I initiated that. Yeah, so I basically was like I what I said verbatim was I feel like I could take a ship on your face and you would just wipe it away and go ah.

Julia said, yeah, see this is how in the movies you turn a missing that's right there, and your body would be shot the mean way.

I just was like, this is ridiculous. Like I'm because I was acting out. I was like not coming home at night. I was like and he just was like, he's like, have fun.

You see that. It's good that you left, because it sounds like he was getting ready to start training fight and yeah, be Jennifer Lopez and enough and oh yeah, beat away.

Yeah that's what it felt like.

It No, he is.

That is not the way. I do not any want any defamation of character of my ex.

You know, he's a great guy. It's just us. We are terrible people.

Sound like.

So much Jlo talk. I know, I thought I was Jlo.

Now he's Jelo.

Who is j Loo?

Yeah?

No, And and then he was kind of I think he was in denial at first, and then we talked about it, and then he finally think he got up once I was like, so, which one of us is moving out?

He was like, oh, you're.

Serious, and I was like yeah, because I was a very.

Boy who cried wolf kind of I think person in my twenties, like I would get like hair brain schemes. I'd be like, Okay, oh my god, I have this audition tomorrow and I think I'm gonna get it and then I'm gonna be rich and then I'm d d d d dah and like so I had a lot of that. So I think there was a little part of him that was like, okay, Julia, Julia is getting a divorce. Here she goes again with one of her

Which one of us is moving out? Is? Isn't it your dad's built you? No?

No, no, oh sorry, we had moved back to New York.

Oh yeah, okay, yeah, we York.

We moved to Williamsburg because what's happening was when I got married, we moved to by this hair brain scheme where I was like, all right, everybody, and I'm really I'm good. I should have gone into like I don't know, politics, being a lawyer or something like that, but like, if only I could use this for my career, but I I'm really kind of like convincing everyone, Like I said, it's a good idea.

So I was like, all right, here's the plant.

We're gonna move to Boston, we're gonna get married, we're gonna live rent free, we're gonna save some money. Then maybe i'll like work on a new project and like everything'll be great, right, And then I was just after that happened, after like a month, I started coming to New York by myself for like a couple of days, like a weekend, and then like flash, yeah, and I was spending.

He let you.

Yeah you already was like hi, fun.

Adrianne would be like, okay, I'm coming with you.

Well so okay, yeah, So then well I don't want to jump the gun. But then the relationship I had after was beyond the opposite of this, okay, So it was almost like the Three Bears.

It was like too hot, That's what I was gonna say.

When I was thinking of everything.

I was like, wow, she's really Goldilocks.

Yeah, but that's the thing is like part of and I mean, I don't know if I'm going off the expert topic now, I do think that, you know, it's really easy to look at past relationships as like in anything, even like the guy that I the hand job to like all of it included as like mistakes or shame or embarrassment or failures, but they all lead you to the next and they all teach you something like I'm you know it. Not everything I've done has felt good

It's so funny because everybody is like training to be with the person they're really supposed to be with. Everything is everybody is in the practice run, Like, oh, this is practice in this relationship.

This is not how you really do it. This is a scratch scratch paper, Yeah, scrap scrap dick.

I agree. I mean it's funny that you speak of a scrap dick because my ex is getting married, he's engaged or whatever, and everything that he probably did wrong in the relationship with me, he probably flipped it. He was like, oh, I was just running a course on that ho. I know how to really treat a woman now.

But I don't think it's it's I don't think it's like, uh, intentional I don't think someone you know what I mean, Like they're not like I'm going to practice on this person.

It's just it's part of gross.

It's not intentional, but you know when you have that feeling like I'm gonna be with that person forever. Okay, I feel like what I'm gonna say, Mike, I get me in trouble with somebody. But my ex boyfriend would complain about stuff that I was not doing in the relationship right Like he was like, you're not contributing enough. And he was like I was living in his apartment like rent free, like legit, just living lavish in for

I wasn't doing that all circle. Oh god, this circle is so real.

But you learn, I mean you learn from experience, like you can learn from like a book or listening to a podcast or watching a movie, but like real lessons stick from experience.

You got to burn your hand to be like I'm not touching that exactly.

Okay, So wait you so after the divorce or whatever that was done, you got in another relationship, there was a lot of rebounding. Yeah, so we separated.

So we first did because everything.

Separation is not a full divorce, no, and in the process of divorcing exactly, and.

Also because like it's very confusing to get divorced, Like the paperwork is very confusing. It is way easier to get married than it is divorced. I didn't it was so many documents you had to fill out, and so neither of us really wanted to spend any money. But then finally we googled fast and friendly and we just paid like eight hundred bucks and it was really easy.

So much of cause to get a divorce is eight hundred dollars.

That was like the cheapest.

What's the more expensive option, like lu like super divorce.

I think more expensive is if you had a lot of assets to split, like if we had owned a house and a car and all that stuff. I mean it was like he's taking the flat screen and I took like the bread of.

Someone told me that the paper is so much Someone told me that it's so much paperwork, so that by the time you get to the middle of it, you're like.

Do we really want to fucking divorce?

It's to wear you out and wear you down, it's up and make you think, hey, maybe we should just stay togain.

Let's try a little harder. Yeah, yeah, that's what it is.

Try a little harder. And is it really worth doing all this fucking sheets of paper? You I don't even know how to Like, I still don't know how to fill out like an eleven nine? What is it? What is that?

What?

I don't even know. They're like, how many exemptions are you claiming? I always just put three. I don't even know what that means.

I think you get more tiken out, but then.

I get more back with my Maybe.

I don't know, you're going to jail. It's fine, she doesn't.

Right to me, I need pin pass.

So yeah, so a lot of our relationship and maybe it was just me at that time. I was a big procrastinator, So I think I just also just procrastinated a divorce, Like in my head we were done, but it just was like, oh, I gotta go fill out this thing.

So I separated, he.

Moved out, and then I, immediately I call it burning stage, had sex with someone like a week later, just to like get it out, get it out and get new in.

You got to cleanse the kuchie palate. That's what you gotta do.

And yeah, and I so I hooked up with two people and then the third person I hooked up with and this is it was a month later.

It just stuck and we stayed together.

And it's like venus flag trap.

You got an use like.

Three and a half years.

Three and a half years something about you. You were long term, bitch, You're not funny.

Thing is I didn't think that I was, but you are.

But you are I know as an adult, I'm looking at your track record.

Yeah eight years, yeah the three wait eight years? Eight years? First boyfriends?

No, but I but the thing.

Is my mean like I in my like I I love people pretty easily, but I'm also like very uh horny. Okay, I was like, what's the word, not horny? But like I think if I had been single, Like there's part of me that was like I wonder if like the universe made me be in a relationship from my early twenties because I would have been like.

To stop you from being a hot Yeah, the universe works in your defense.

Paper who knows?

Who knows?

Because let me tell you boo. Yeah, I got some miles on mine. I definitely how many miles and.

There's a round miles there's I mean.

But yeah.

So that the relationship after was like the opposite.

He was ethnic. His parents were immigrants, and I.

Was like, oh, because also say ethnic Indian. Yeah, I was thinking brown.

Yeah, and yeah. I just kept going shaved down and uh until I found the right color that worked with my.

Yeah.

But no, I so in that other relationship, I felt like I was super I was like, oh, I'm dysfunctional. I'm fucked up because here's this nice guy. His parents are super in love, he's the best. I'm fucking nuts. I'm the one who can't make a decision. I'm the one with crazy immigrant parents that like argue all the time. So I was like, this is my problem, right, Like I really made it me. So then when I met someone who was also immigrant parents, like, I was.

Like, your dad hit you, my dad hit you high fab.

You know like that. And he was very passionate.

He was very protective and jealous and like all the things, like he would never have been.

The fire to the other guy's. Yeah.

Like literally, if I was late at night, he would call like five you know what I mean. Like it couldn't have been more opposite. So in my head I was like, oh, well, I guess this must be love. And I like, I mean, I was so and I was so into the like we'd always argue in the rain and I broke his phone.

Oh no the rain. Yeah, see, we don't do that. No, no, whatever we got to talk about, we could do it in the house or under some shelter. Like I got into a quiet argument with my ex boyfriend at the train uh steps not. We didn't even go.

Down the stairs.

We were at the top of the steps on the sidewalk arguing, and people that we knew kept walking by. Some we had to be like, oh, what are you talking about, like like yelling through our teeth.

Yeah, and hey, Carol.

How your mam gonna doing what she could?

Okay, I'm gonna kill you. I'm gonna kill you tonight.

So I can't imagine. I mean, it wasn't raining because I'm black woman.

It was very like uh, we were not friends. It was like purely just this passionate you know, all of our I don't know, it was just it was that was three years, three.

And a half.

Okay, I'm gonna ask this question again. So who was your friends during that time?

So during that time I did have I in the very beginning, I had some friends be like, I know about this.

Guy, like he doesn't you have a best friend, because I feel like the best friend will always let you know, yeah, I'm not feeling him, you know.

I had people kind of slowly say it. But again because I was so I was really depressed the year that I was married and the year leading up to that, because I knew that I wasn't being myself, Like I felt like I was trapped in another body. And so because this person was doing all the things that I like. My ex husband loved me, but he wasn't like verbal, you know what I mean, Whereas this new guy would just like put me on a pedestal.

And like compliment.

He was also like kick that pedestal.

Yeah, absolutely if it got too high, but like kid, he always humbled you. Yeah.

It was but it was like it was very and I was eating it up so hard, and it's you know, I think you put out what you need.

At that time. I needed that at that time.

I also I moved in with him very fast. He lived next door to his mom, so I had this immigrant mom like.

You know, dinner, so you was away eating curry, yeah, exactly, which I have not had since we broke up, because I'm like, it's like.

Ah but grateful.

Yeah, so are you.

When you walk by a halal truck, do you get like flashbacks?

Yeah, start twitch all.

But definitely like First Avenue where all those guys are like, come in, we have samosas.

I'm like, no, all your ex ruined Indian food, but.

Yeah, it's fine.

But but yeah, I mean I did.

And then toward the.

The last year that we were together, there was like a lot of lying on his behalf, and my friends started to be like, okay, come move in with like they were sort of trying to.

Help facilitate it.

But the thing with telling your friends to break up with people is it's real tricky because again, like you got to touch that stove and.

Burn your hand, right, because you know, because you tell your friend to leave somebody that you think that or you can see that is not a good fit for them, and then that person stays with them, and then it's like, well, I guess we just go.

It's gonna be awkward, as up yesterday, it's gonna be awkward. And then I know that I don't like him, So now I gotta sit at lunch or dinner or whatever from him. And he knowed that I don't like him because she didn't ran her mouth and told him how I feel. So now it's awkward. Now I can't go to this restaurant because because he there, Like, but I love it. I love what is it? What's my favorite thing? Drunken noodles? I love?

Now he didn't fuck up drunken noodles for them exactly.

I mean, I think you can.

I what I would have, what I worked best with me at that time, and what I try to do with friends when they're in similar situations is like you listen, you say, you know, like I support whatever you do, but you know, I just care about you and I want to like you have to kind of you can be upfront.

And honest with them.

Every relationship is different the same way every romantic relationship is different. Every friendship is different. You have some friends where you can just say it and it's cool. Other friends you can't. It's tricky, Like, but it's also not my friend's responsibility to get me out of a relationship.

I have to learn what is.

Your friend's responsibility to be like a good friend. Yeah, like this is not the cist. We're not doing this.

So it wasn't telling them everything that was wrong.

Yeah, but they still were like, dude, like based on what they were seeing, they were like.

You should come and stay with me.

Yeah.

Towards the end, when I started to be more upfront about like the problems we were having, they were like, uh so, yeah, we ended up the reason why that the final straw though, Like there's a lot of things that were wrong, but the final straw was that I was doing a solo show about my marriage and he didn't like me putting all my business out there because I talked about like my first hand, like I talked about all those things.

I mean, but that's I think that's valid though, Like it was.

A teen age teenage shit.

Also, it's not like he met me and I was like a nurse and then I became a comedian, Like he met me hearing me talk shit on stage and was so attracted to it.

And now he probably was like, ooh it did don't work out. This was gonna say everything.

I was the first thing out of his mouth when we broke up, was were you going to tell everyone everything I did wrong?

Yes?

It's like, yeah, that will be a yes.

Here's the thing is, in my marriage and in that relationship, I absolutely know I made mistakes. I would not be ashamed if any of those mistakes were out there, because I'll be like, yeah, yeah, I was young, Yeah, sorry about that.

You know, that's like dating a performer. You're in a comic and you're dating somebody who's a comedian. Even when I meet somebody and they find out I'm a comic, they're like, is this gonna go on one of your skits? And I'm like, first of all, I don't do skits?

What this is?

And you know, people are afraid that you're going to talk about them, so they should stay a live as.

Soon as your dick goes, I mean, you signed a waiver.

You sure did.

That is a waiver that is a legally binding contract.

As soon as you're released, that's the release.

Yeah.

Wait, how'd you break up with this dude.

Oh so he uh it was it was not great. It was like he said he had a problem with the show. Blah blah blah. We argued, had another argument, and then I was like, I like, I can't do this.

I'm leaving.

I tried to break up with them a few times over that past year because things were going south, and he would, you know, beg and be like, I'm going to therapy. I'll die without you, like a lot of that guilt mother's curry.

Yeah.

He did a lot of victim stuff.

And because but here's the thing is, I was so so talking about rebounds to get into that expert thing.

I'm not gonna tell.

And you know, everyone does whatever they want to do, but I will suggest, like, you gotta give yourself some time. Like I was in an eight year relationship, I gave myself zero time.

I did not want to.

I didn't want it because I felt like I didn't deserve to.

Grieve because I vagina has some mourn yeah for a little yeah.

A little little black veil.

And because I initiated the breakup, I felt like, because I was the bad guy, I felt like I didn't deserve times to grieve.

So wait wait, wait, wait wait, if you break up, wasn't going to you to bad guy?

No felt I don't think that at all. Oh I I I'm saying. At the time, I felt like I just felt like the bad guy. I felt really fucked up.

Yeah, I mean I don't feel I mean when I broke up with my boyfriend, I was the bad guy. But I feel like that's sometimes you have to leave the bad guy, or sometimes there's no bad guys.

Just we're not good for each other one hundred percent.

There's just energy.

It's not good.

And so when I met that second boyfriend, I was in such a vulnerable place. I just wanted something to distract me from myself, which I think a lot of people do when they stay stuck in a relationship. You're like, well if I put in, especially because he seemed more

A man cry and say I can't live without you. No, I definitely I'm backing my thing. Yeah, I'm putting a different wig on. I'm changing my life. I'm changing my first name because those guys, why would you say I can't live with that? Come on, dude, you were living I don't know, thirty years previous to me without me.

I agree with everything that is, Beau.

If I see a man cry, then pussy is dry, haven't yeh? Man, man tears like sham while my va giant. It's just like it depends. Layers are about No, they're always making me dry. How about you crying during this movie about Really?

I don't mind's funeral?

I'm like, wow, live you square, live you skirt up? Man? What's going on?

But that's just me and that's probably why we're rude. Yeah, so so let me see how mu champy oft I just don't want to see.

So can you give anybody who's listening, like tips on how to properly rebound or like?

Okay, so I think I did it properly after that one. So now I'm like single for the first time in eleven years, and I move in with.

A girlfriend who's also recently single.

Good.

Yeah, you've got to stick together. In Williamsburg. So I moving to a young, hot.

Neighborhood, okay with the thriving.

Thriving and just start fucking and just started going up to people that I'd always wanted to have, you know, like people you kind of keep in the back of your head and you're like, oh, I was sang.

Just started going up to all them.

It's really I will say, it's a lot easier because I'm a comedian.

So it was like people I knew and I was.

Wait, was it civilians or you would like comedians and civilians comedian? Oh, it's fine. Your current boyfriend is a comedian, so it's fine.

Yeah, and we worked out.

Yeah. I was going up to people that I like that I knew a lot of them were like friends, and I was like, I've always wanted to have sex with you, and they were like what And I.

Was like I was.

They're like, what's the catch, and I'm like literally literally just no, Like I have so much time to make up for I need to get my numbers up fast, Like I know, I fall in love easy, so like let's get so. I guess the trick to it is to just I just was being honest, like I was being like brutally honest with people. I was just like, this is where I'm at. I just got a relationship. Like I anything, any advice that I'd ever been given in like a fucking magazine or a TV show, I

So you went on dates, you weren't just going up to people, let's fuck, you wouldn't getting were you getting like.

At least pasta you know.

I was mostly.

I got like a couple of breakfasts. Okay, so it was after yacht and fucked.

Okay, I didn't Okay, I want you, I would say, for like the first six months, it was mostly just fucking and like connecting with people. Yeah, just it was really fun and it was interesting. I felt like I was hooking with a lot of people that had also gone through a breakup or were like I was really magnetizing people that were sort of in a similar place of me of like, oh my god, I've always been in long term really and I'm trying this.

In the summer because I feel like in the summer that is where yeah go hey, oh yeah.

It was May and I was like wearing a like.

A scrumper that I don't want to magnetize with people who are going through the same thing as me. I want you to be going through something completely different. I want you to be like in a different place financially, I want you to keep working in a different field. I want you to maybe not know who your dad is. Like I just I need you to be complete different than me.

I mean I had all sorts, but because I was very specifically not wanting a boyfriend, I was okay hooking up with someone who was like going through a lot of ship because I'm like, oh, this is just gonna be hooking up and maybe like.

A coffee date.

I feel like those people who.

Are going through a lot of stuff are the ones that are gonna call you in the middle of the night like, Hey, I just wanted you to know that, Like it's getting pretty bad on like I don't want.

To talk to you, and you just say I don't want to talk.

Cold. But if she's ice queen, she doesn't want you to be vocals.

Feel things, ye speak to me. She wants you to be a stone.

I'm afraid that if if I shut somebody who's like a little bit broken, if I shut them down too harshly, which is what I'm gonna do. I'm afraid they're gonna be like waiting for me at my mailbox, Like hey, remember, but Marie shuts people down all the time, And nobody's waiting at your at your doorstad.

You need a key to get into the door.

None, they be letting anybody come through. Somebody was letting me in a while. I was ringing, buzzing your bell. Yeah, the end of the day, I was coming out of that little area and there was a homeless man sleep and I was like.

Really, somebody really want to do at two am?

And now you're.

Okay, So you need to rebound properly. I think rebound properly.

And also, and I hope this makes sense, and I feel like Marie is going to disagree, but just picking up on our vibe. But I also I think being in the moment, and this goes for everything in life is so important. And I think especially with relationships, it's very easy to be with someone and of course naturally, like your past ship comes up and then you're already planning the future and you're like and all this stuff, and what I really did when I was rebounding was I was being in the moment.

So when I was like hooking up with people, I was there.

I really felt like positive, caring energy for them while we were like I felt like the sex I was having was really connected with a lot of people. And that might sound whatever, but I was in the moment and so it it. My head wasn't like where is this going or like oh and so I felt like a lot of my exchanges with these people and this is getting like very like woo woo energy. But the energy was like respectful and balanced and nice because I was actually there.

How old we are these people? They sounded uh yeah, they sound like they might be interesting aged.

You know what I'm gonna say is it was better and better the younger they were.

Also, they were just respecting you because you was older than them. Maybe it was respect to elders.

That's what respect my elders.

Did they call you miss.

Ma'am? They were like, oh, I'm gonna come ma'am, Mama Rozzi, where should.

I come up?

No?

But uh yeah, I don't know.

It was it was a really you know, I'm a cry but I would also give myself time.

And like cry my shower.

Girl, but I was really good about like having nights where I was like, you know what, any other thing I it suggests too, if you are rebounding and you tend to be codependent and find yourself in relationships easy is you also have to kind of learn to self soothe and not run to your friends all the time.

Because that was the thing.

Was like I would start to feel sad, and instead of feeling sad because fine, I would grab the phone and like, I'm not saying you shouldn't call people.

Of course, if you're like hitting, you.

Don't call them. If your friend is Marie Fasson, don't you should be called Fay.

It was it was a really thing that I needed to learn to make my next relationship good, which is self soothing and being like what do I actually think and what do I actually feel? And some of those times would be like I would just cry for an hour and then I'd dust myself off and go do something productive instead of being on the phone with like friend and after friend after friend being like I don't know anything.

It's like yes, this, yeah, it's gonna be okay. Yeah you got another call, that's the pizza.

Yes, ordered again?

Not, but just learning to pick and choose when you actually need help and when you're just.

Like when do you call your friend? When do you actually call?

I think when you need.

To stay at her place?

No, or when you I mean, god, like, if you're feeling fucking suicidal, of course, if you feel if you're like if you have had a realization.

And you're like, hey, I want to run this by you and like talk it out.

But I think if you're just in that moment of panic and you're not even letting yourself be honest with yourself about what it is, because it's sometimes when you're having a fitter breakdown, Like every time I've had a breakdown, I've come out of it with something a new knowledge about myself.

That hurts, but it's amazing.

That's so real. That is I mean, I'm right here, think about all the times I've picked up the phone call people like that was dumb.

It's not dumb. I mean, I still don't get me wrong. I'm sure I have friends with my.

People listening, and you gotta self suit.

Yeah, I have a friend who would hear this and be like bitch.

But I'm trying to learn because that's and you'll make better decisions after that.

Okay, what's a what's a good like break up line? Not the it's you, it's not me, but like something equivalent to that.

Oh, I just think it's it's just being honest. I think trying to make it not. I think that what happens a lot in breakups is people. Even if it is quote unquote the other person's fault, it's never just one person's fault because like the person I was with for almost four years, I could right now be like any lied about this and this and this, but you know what I chose to say. I enabled the behavior. I tried to change him. I shamed him when he didn't do what I thought was right. I mean I

When I hear this just isn't right, I get like I feel crazy.

I feel like Nah, we gonna make it work. Let's make it right, to make it.

But the thing is that when you get into a new relationship, Yeah, but then it's.

Right, yeah, what's her name, Iyanda, I'll get her to fix this relationship. Yeah, no, I'm not doing that. If you're telling me it is no. My My line was yeah, I can't do this anymore. And it was like what do you mean? And then we talked for like I feel like two days, and then I left and he was like, hey, do you want to go see a play? And I was like I just I left your keys there, Like why would you? Like sometimes you try to break up with somebody and then they're like no, we're just talking.

You say, because that's what happened with my last He was like sending me a picture he had a dog, but it like kind of became my dog, you know, and he would send me He's like the dog misses you, or like hey can you And I was like I'm I can't. I can't comfort you through this breakup. That's what's happening. Yeah, that's where the call John and I wanted, you know, I don't like having bad energy with anyone, but with that one, I had to be like, he might hate me, but I don't care because I can't.

So wait, how long did it take you to get into a relationship that you're in now? Okay?

So I promised myself, and I know it's not gonna sound like a long time, but for me, considering my track record, I was like, I have to be single and minimum a year. I was like, yeah, I was like minimum. I can like go on dates, I can like hang, but like, I can't be like this is my boyfriend meet my parents for like at least a year?

Were you any dating apps or anything like that?

I join and then like someone would message me and I'd canceled because I was like, well, I'm not looking for I don't.

I kind of don't.

I would love it if it was longer than a year, Like I really wanted to explore. So I say around eight months, I started to like, you know, I would go to dinner with someone before we had sex, but I'd always be like sex and like.

Again, I'm happy to fails to go.

But I know Will, who's my current boyfriend almost exactly a year to the day.

Wow, Yeah, which was really interesting.

The universe is line and shift. And we broke up right away.

There was like something about his energy where I was like, now.

Will don't look like he hooked up right away. He looked like your time he opened the door.

No, no, no, he is he his talk about his numbers. He is such a whoreror really absolutely not. I have my podcast.

He's nice.

He's a nice guy. That's probably why he gave I'm his first girlfriend.

So you're saying he was he didn't hooked up with Mappy, but he didn't have a girlfriend girlfriend right, Yeah.

He never like he had like people. Well, I'll let him tell his story. This is my podcast.

And about his shoulders look like long term. He looks like a long term Well that.

Was the thing because when I first when I first saw him perform, he would do all these jokes about rom coms and like not getting the girl, and so I was like, oh, he's like a and that's also why like he was flirting and I was like, I feel like if we start hanging out, it could go long term.

And I didn't want that, so you friend zoned him for a little bit. I did, and then we like but you were like, let's get this dollar pizza real quick.

No, Emily's were wherever.

Yeah, we just had like a slow like we like we're at you know, a show.

We ended up like dancing all night after the show after everyone left, and then I was like bye, and he walked me into the train.

It was like, very well, he practiced his dance moves before he hung out like a hitch you remember. Very sweet?

Yeah, No, Will is a nice guy.

Yeah, so sweet.

And how long have y'all been together?

Three?

We just just three years, like a creer mark.

And it was but I will say this so this would be my other advice was with him, it was like beyond honesty from the get like we named every comedian we had ever fucked, like the like the third night we hung out, just.

Get it out.

They're fine and.

That means more than five.

Just because I don't want him to be able to show talking to someone that I hooked up with and have that other person be like I know.

A secret and like no Will knows and.

We'll find with it because we do have to because comedians running fucking mouth.

They don't know how to keep secrets.

No, they tell all their business. Yeah, I mean it goes back to dating somebody dating a comic and them talking about Listen. I feel like if if you fuck a comic and you a comic, there should be like an NDR or I mean you gotta sign like no, you can't mention this shit because like, don't be using me as your material like in vice versus. That's why I don't bank comedians. I mean that's really that's not

The thing is we have similar Okay, we have like similar I think hearts and.

Oh you seen his heart before?

No, but you know what I'm saying, Like we have like similar I think we have similar mentalities about how one should behave and morals and beliefs, but we're very different as far as like like he likes quiet, I talk a lot. He is a night person. I'm a morning like we really kind of balancing. Yeah, that's why I like showed up.

And she walked from her house.

You made me look bad. You look like the bad house you were here before me.

But yeah, I know, it's uh, it's just I think what works for us. And you know, very early on, I was like, I'm not gonna I'm not jumping too far ahead. I'm not like I can't, I can't imagine.

It's not it seems like that's what works for you.

Not overthinking or for anybody really is just like being in the moment and then doing it until you don't want to do it anymore.

And something I would also really advise people because this is something I learned from like the breakups and whatever is. And it goes back to reaching out to friends, like with him most things. Every now and then I'll talk to a friend about him, but it's nothing that if.

He heard would be scandalous, you know what I mean.

But even we were starting our courtship, I didn't ask friends what they thought of him worship.

I didn't yeah wow.

But I didn't even like, I didn't ask my friends what they thought.

I wasn't like, I don't know, should I text him? I didn't everything.

I went to him, like, I asked him for advice about our relationship, and that to me was a very huge sign because I feel like when you have a friend that's like, how do I respond to this guy? You're like, well, if you don't know how to respond to a girl or whatever, what are you?

I'm like, bitch you thirty five if you don't know about now, like, come on, girl, you don't need me to help you. And then I'll be like, well, right, yeah, with the emergency here, and then yeah, tota egg plant in there too, Yeah you might as well you didn't fuck him, right. I'll screenshot conversations and send them to my friend, but I already know what i'm gonna say. Yeah, yeah, I don't feel like and then if they tell me to put something, I'm like yay, and then I just put the opposite.

I just think if you're asked, if you're talking to your friends more than you're talking to your partner about the relationship friends, then that's that's a sign.

Yeah, but sometimes you gotta do that because your friend is vicariously living through you. So just make sure I'm entertained. So please, weird, what are you talking about send it my way please, I mean, Marie, don't hold it, don't hold back. Okay, Well I'm okay, So I'm gonna I was in a relationship for three years and now I've been single for three years, and so I'm getting back into the dating world. I'm saying that, but I'm probably not going to But like i'm, I'm, I'm I've never

The Q train? So I'm gonna say, don't say. I definitely not gonna about anyone.

Okay, Okay, you know I'm talking about I'm taking back. I'm not not going to date a comedian in New York who makes less money than Okay, friend, I approve, I approve of whatever you said. You want to be like a different level comedian than yes, and and Sydney has to uh sign off on that, and I sign off. I didn't put my whole signature and that mention.

Sent it out is already she's the witness.

Okay, So but I don't know where you maybe she's like I don't even know you're doomed. No, wow, No, but like ask I mean friends to introduce you to people.

Okay, that's one thing.

Well it's just me. So I don't have nobody for her.

So Sept. One is get some new friends.

Yeah, I get some new friends.

Anyone listening to this podcast, if you know someone who you think would be a great match for Marae, why not?

Oh girl? Or don't even need no, don't feed into this bullshit.

Look at her. She don't need no damn help. You don't need her friends.

I mean my phone is full of dis.

Yeah, she walks out.

She's great, But but that's different than meeting someone who's actually a good match. Like, yes, she's gorgeous, she's getting dick pics. But if you're actually interested in meeting someone, you can have a conversation and be yourself with that's what you said.

You ain't all that, Marie's you ain't on it. Listen, we're gonna talk off the podcast because Sidney's not gonna let us be great. Julia, I feel like, is there anything you want to leave people listening with about either relationships or or rushing into things or taking their time with Well, I was going to quiz her just a little bit, right, Okay, So well, listen to the question that I doesn't yes, and then well you want to.

Quiz and then and then if there's anything I didn't answer in the quiz, but let's do that.

Sorry, I just go ahead control your podcast.

Okay, thank you? How you mediate that? So, Julia, we've been together for about four years. You know, I'm all right as a partner, not the best. I'm all right, I'm I can already get you and your girlfriend you're talking about now, you talk about you and her quiz right here? Right?

You know you and your girlfriend. She already knows that you're all right.

Get in, get in the zone. Okay. Sorry, So we've been together. I've I'm all right. My career is okay. So that means I have no money in the bank. But I hate you with a ring. Do you say yes or no? Four years?

I mean together? This is I need a lot more information here.

You're in love with me? But like, but do you have like goals?

And do you have are you.

Like yeah, I'm a comedian, but are you like are you like a victim? And like nothing works out for you? That's why you're broken. Nothing's happening.

Are you like actually leaving how to save money? Buffalo exchange stake stuff at the through shag.

No, No, even though you're in love with me and that my career is promising, I mean, I haven't booked anything yet.

It's just no, I need no because if I have to carry your like self pity, like that's gonna make my pussy dry.

But for my own mind, you know what, my pussy is wet, right Yo, that's beautiful.

Well, I mean, but you're but you're the things you gave me to work with. We're not very sid that. She was like, you love me? What are your positive qualities?

You love me? Me love It's hard to find fun and I find you working on real fast my legs, my calves, my cast I love your calves. Thank you.

Yeah, get a job, Julian, I was just laid off.

So like, honestly, I'm doing the past at twelve thirty on a Monday.

So yes, guess what you're doing it in my pre war apartment. Okay, So I have a question for you. So you said that when you would go on dates with people, like nothing was off limits, like you broke all the dating rules that the magazines till yeah yeah, So what what is something that is like one hundred percent of the time always off limits to talk about nothing? Wow? I just feel like because you're okay, here's the thing.

If you go on a date and you are, i know, be yourself as such a generic thing, and it's also a really hard thing because you're like, well, how do I know who I am?

And the thing is, sometimes you learn.

Who you are in a relationship, like when you're in a bad rely, Like a relationship is like a mirror, so it's all relative. Right, So you go on a date, you act like yourself, you like someone who reads an article, and it's like, don't say this, act like this straight Like when fucking millionaire matchmaker would tell people with curly hair to straighten their hair. I'm like, once that girl puts out of the shower, he's going to realize her hair is curly.

Like why millionaire hair matchmaker is single too.

So that's what I'm saying, Like there's all this shit where it's like do this, don't do that. The truth is if you guys start dating, that real you is gonna come out. So why hide it when you first meet Because that's the thing that there's going to make them love you like your your weird flaws.

Saying I should like pick my teeth on the first day, and I should like, if you.

Pick your teeth, I should be like kick them.

I'm like, no, I don't need a tooth pick. They got minced though.

I mean that's so that's you know something, I want to work on it.

But like, yeah, Julia, leave us with something. Tell us what you did you have another question? That was it?

Okay?

So anything that you missed that you feel like, you know, I would just reiterate if those shoulds are coming up in dating, in your current relationship, just look at that and see see what it means.

It's not always a bad thing, but if if shoulds are dominating your love life, then maybe you should What.

If I'm like, should he should be paying? If it is he got more money than me, I feel like that's a good shoot, talk to him.

I'm not gonna talk to him.

I'm just not gonna bring my wallette a Julia ware of people listening.

Catch you plug your podcast? Okay, so I have a podcast with my boyfriend. I'm out relation shops. If you want to hear me talk more about this stuff if.

You want to hear more in depth conversations.

Hopefully we don't break up dot com or on iTunes. We talked to other couples about this kind of stuff, and then you can find me. Julia Razzi it's with a G. Just google Julia with a G. Comment that all my stuff will come the only one doing it.

What a plug?

What a plug?

You guys? Do you have a like a comedy show? Do you have a show?

No, it's on hiatus right now, but they'll be when does this come out?

We don't know. We don't even know.

I'm always doing something.

Okay, we'll find you. I mean, we'll tag all of your social media. This was great. I learned a lot.

I learned an iron ship and no that's not true.

I learned that I'm actually doing a really good job. I will continue to thrive that thrive and live. You have goals though you're doing stuff. Girl, that was just a little example. That's not my real life. Okay, that's like girl, I still got a couple of checks in the mail. I'm good.

Yeah, it's will kay to be going through a hard financial time.

It's just marry you don't don't that a tiny ass ring to Julia's house. I was not gonna First of all, the ring wasn't name of from K's jeweler. Okay, from Jacob to jeweler please. The ring was from Buffalo, a consignment shop ring the bloody ass Hipster Diamond.

We're gonna go.

You can catch us on Instagram at Unofficial expert at us. You can hit us on Twitter minds as uh just said b w n y C and Reezy on Instagram.

I'm Reezy r e e e z y.

And then you can catch me uh once a week on YouTube at miss rez m s.

R e e e z y.

Yes, us questions please add us sliding our dms without dis like. Just ask like real questions, comment for us on your dick and then send us that Yes, We'll ford them all to Julia.

And then I'll give you advice on your deck pack.

Thank you, and let's shout out Comedy Hype for a little bit, you know, Thank you Comedy Hype. Please listen to all our episodes on there. We also have iTunes, uh, you know, go to Comedy Hype for all of your comedy news. This was fantastic, This was great so much. Uh, you know, just hold up as much as you can and uh maybe you'll find love.

You'll never know, find a nigga would enough be to use?

And then live your life and avoid the dude that lives next door to his mom. Yeah, because you probably that's too close, Yeah, Julia, I mean yeah, thanks guys, Bye bye