"The Bottom Expert" with Andre

Forever.

Hey, wow, hi guys. Hey hey hey No no, no.

No, hey hey hey, good bye.

Okay, So see I went up and then you also do it. Where am I starting from? Okay, just at the beginning?

No, no, no, no, no, no no no, I went down because you were going up.

Okay, you know what this is? Oh my god?

When we do Larry's what makes you saying it's gonna be rough?

Yeah, that's gonna be funm hmm. Are we doing the episode together? I don't know.

Are we?

Yeah, you're recording it right after two episodes?

No, I told him we need to take a food break.

And then, oh, is that why he wanted to take that long break?

I didn't. That's for a long break? Asked for a break?

He was like an hour and a half.

Well, because he was like, we get some cocktails between episodes.

Oh my god, So it's gonna be a great episode anyway, Hi, guys, what's going on?

It's your bald friend.

It's another week of us, you know, just fantastic, fantastical. I will say that this year has gone by so fast but so slow, and I am literally like, what's next?

What are we doing?

Yeah?

When I look at my photos, Like I'm scrolling through my images on my phone, I'm like, oh, all of that happened this year, Like I got a TV show and then can't like fired in the same year I got we did that Macy, like all that, I went on a three week trip by myself.

Like all of that happened this year. You did a lot.

It's crazy, it's insane, and we still got three months left.

A lot can happen.

I know, somebody could pull up to my job and fuck me up, but you know what, we're not gonna think negative like you thinks I'm gonna.

Show up but fight you. So it's gonna say, send their girl cousins.

You could come in, Mama tok cottail my whole fucking situation.

Yeah, yeah, but that's not gonna happen.

I mean something, I feel like if you did, if that did happen, like you would still be cute in death.

What Yeah, listen, I can't die because you know, I have to accomplish some more things.

That's it.

Yeah, that's all now.

Well, now I have unlimited data, bitch.

So I mean, you've accomplished a lot.

That was one of the things that I was like, I can't die until I get unlimited. And now I got it, and I'm one suicide watched now don't kill myself? Now, well is it gonna happen? But then who's gonna get the data that you not use it. I'm gonna pass it down to you. I'm gonna fu put it in, put it in your wheel.

Yeah, I leave Marie Foston.

My dear friend and colleague, my bold colleague, my god, my brown goddess, thank you, my haitian mean best friend, thank you, love it, my prostitutor, prostituto.

Yeah.

So anyway, I'm just like, we got three months. We gotta figure it out. Gotta gotta gotta get some money.

Gotta get your head in the game. Yeah, I gotta get your head in the game.

I just want to get some more money. That's literally it.

Okay, how much money you think you need to get for the end of the year to be a success? Ten thousand dollars? No, ten thousand more dollars.

No, you need more than that.

Yeah, okay, so twelve thousand dollars. See, so I went up about you.

I mean, twelve wouldn't be bad, but you know, you gotta pay people out that's the problem.

That's why you gotta fire your whole team. Sis getting ready to leave everybody.

Oh my god, Marie, don't you dare say that on here?

You idiot? What's wrong? What you talking about? They work for me? Friend? What you mean? But uh no, I like, I mean, I only I have a manager and I have a lawyer.

I'm not gonna fire I'm not gonna fire them and be alone. I'm gonna be unemployed and have nobody working for me. That makes no sense. Yeah, yeah, you can't have an empire when nobody work in the empire.

Yeah, who's gonna be Who's gonna be terren toward? Because I'm obviously Taraji?

Right? Cookie, cookie, I see it. Thank you, I see the cookie in you. Thank you so much for saying that. Yeah, wow, you see it.

Anyway, So what were you an expert in this week?

Uh?

Extra in this expert in this week?

Just when I have deadlines, I you know, I don't really like them, but that's when I'm my most productive. I had a couple of deadlines at work and I hit them. It was it was surprising because I really was waiting to the very last couple hours to knock shit out.

I mean, I feel like that is kind of my brand too, Like I'm a procrastinator and then I wait and wait and wait and wait to get stuff done and then at the very last minute something will happen.

And that's how I pulled. I'll be like, wow, I really almost didn't do that.

My job asked me to write a script for something two weeks ago. They were like, hey, heads up, we're gonna need a script and I was like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, what's it?

And then we went to Miami and.

It was like so much going on and it was like just busy and didn't have my laptop.

And da da da da da, and you.

Know, I got that email and they were like, yeah, yeah, we don't need to see that script.

And I was like, oh, okay, so when do you need to see it? And they were like at at two o to day.

So I was like whoa, all right.

So got into work just like all right, I'm gonna write. And then you know, I'm on Twitter and you hadn't read, hadn't written anything, not near damn word And how.

Long do they need it to be a couple? Like five pages?

Yeah?

Yeah, I talked to you on the phone about it. You were like, I'm so nervous. Sounds like you're gonna be fine, We'll lose my job. I was like, you'll be fine. Is there anything in my teeth? And I was on Twitter Instagram just like I'm gonna be inspired, I'm gonna write this out. I'm gonna bang it out. And then you know, at the last hour, it was like you know that that give the front of the frog like on the typewriter.

Or the cat one, the one with the cat is like.

Yeah, that was me literally the whole hour just and then you know, I banged it out, did a script read through.

They was like okay, all right. They were like work work, that's not bad. You know, we got a lot more work to do.

But like it's there.

YEA half of writing is literally just having the words there, writing it out and then we make it better rewrites.

It's all about the rewrites.

Wow, that's a word. Sis. I feel like I needed that.

Yeah, thank you all about the rewrats.

So literally I got on Twitter and was like yo, ivy a U, I have no motivation, Like what can I do?

And then people started sending me all this stuff. They sent me like oh you could get this plant that's like opioids. It has the same effects as opioids, but it's not. And I was like, did you not hear that I'm sober? Like I did anybody suggests fetanol. I'm just trying to like how cool your followers are.

Yo, drizzle a little bit of crack on it and it'll be sane.

I was like, dude, I just need motivation to like write, I don't need to be cracked out on a corner talking about can't you as well some change?

Yeah, but after you get sober up, sis, you're gonna have a lot to write about. The memoir is gonna be lit true. I mean you might end up under a bridge, second a dick for a couple of years trying to.

Get that crack. Never, but once you get sober, sis, once you get clean.

No.

Wow, I just want to put this on wax. Will never sucking dick again. I don't even suck dildos? Would people suck?

People do that? Is this something that people do? People do that?

I will never have a flasted anything. No, I will never have a phallic thing in my mouth ever again. So you're not gonna guess it's gross. Put your imaginary penis on me. That's that's a bold statement.

I will I will never.

I barely eat bananas, bitch.

Let me don't barely.

I barely put a banana ice cream. I don't even like ice cream.

Plan is out. We're not doing done, You're not doing whatever.

Why did you grow up in ice cream?

Why did you like like, like, you know, the ice cream popsicles and stuff.

Andrew was like.

Ice cream?

Maybe that's why you're done sucking dick if you're relating to ice cream.

Yeah, yeah, sometimes it is redfrees. You suck a dick long enough, you might could get brain freeze.

Okay, Sis, I.

Don't know if that's true or false. I don't be down there that long work. Okay, what were you an expert in this week?

Baby? Honestly, friend, I was, I was an expert at Wow?

Well what was I an expert in? Let me just tell you what happened and then we'll figure it out at the very end. So, actually, how do I want to tell this story? I don't really want to tell this story.

Tell me I was an expert at like just being available. Okay.

I had a friend call me and was like, hey, what you doing tonight, and I was like, I got shows and he was like, well, I got these tickets to see Madonna backstage tonight. And I was like, well, I guess I'm going to see Madonna tonight.

What time?

He was like nine thirty. I was like, Oh, my show's gonna be done before that, so mm hmm. So I was getting I was getting doing my makeup to leave to do my shows, and then I was like, well, I can't go outside like this if it would be backstage with Madonna, I gotta change my outfit.

Cut to me forty minutes later.

Missed the first show right message the second show, was like, I'm on my way. Now get on the train, speed there, get to the second show. They were like god, yoh, we already told the last comedian that he's next. I was like, so tell him that I'm here and they were like yeah, no, sorry, you came all the way this way and it was.

Like what is and the way it was the one that was pays money.

Yes, it's the one that pays money. Yeah.

They were like uh, and I got there there were it was intermission. It was during intermission, and they were like, yeah, when we get back from this break that we're.

In right now, so they can make it happen.

They could absolutely, and if it had been women or a gay guy, they would have made it happen. It was a straight white dude, and he was like, yeah, we we got this other straight white dude coming up after that, like we're not didn't even try to make it happen for me, and I was like, oh okay. And then I went to go see Madonna and it was great. We took a little bit of mushrooms with microdos.

You can't tell me what time.

You can't tell me thirty minutes before I'm supposed to be somewhere that I'm supposed to be there, you gotta tell me the day before the morning, Like the right before I was supposed to go up, they were like, you're going up in twenty minutes, And it was like whoa, but you took anyway, So that's what happened. I was an expert at missing two shows in one night, but then going to another show that being that night. Well we weren't a backstage, but the six were.

Oh my god.

And then can I can I say that it took me an hour to change my clothes and what did you get all these hats together? And then I ended up in the same outfit that I started. The only thing I did was change my socks stop and my t shirt. You're hot mass so I was anyway, so that you cheetos listen, thank you see, thank you so much, sister.

Anyway, that person, that person that I went here to the Madonna concert is here.

Yeah, and I'm so happy that he's here because I've been trying to drag him here for like a while. He is our bottom expert. Yeah, he's the bottom, the unofficial expert on being a bottom.

Yes, bottom is up. He's my friend in yours.

It's the beautiful, the Spicy Andre Springer Hire And.

What's up?

Okay, how can I get on this list to see Madonna?

Well it's not your birthday, says your birthday person.

Oh it was pretty random to that's but that's how it's supposed to be. That's hot, Like you don't want to have to plan for Madonna. You want to get the call, hey we're doing the Madonna tonight, and then you drop everything right.

I was like, oh, because you know she up there, she's not gonna be doing this forever. She she wants to, Yeah, but she's not gonna be up there for she likes sixty.

She looked amazing. I mean the whole show is she looked good.

Visually.

Everything was cute. Yeah, but it was cute. People had looks on.

It's nice.

Everybody was in a Leopard had some sort of Leopard moment. And I missed out on the memo, which was kind of what did you wear?

You had like a jumper on? Yeah, you know I was looking like I was looking like trash.

But you know what, you got face and teeth, So that's all that matters. That's all they see.

You know, that personality you know when you come in, like like the way you look right now, it's like, oh, who is he or somebody? Yeah, because like you're not taking yourself too serious.

Sidney saying you look slappy. She said, sloppy people be rich people.

No, no, no, no, I said, you look like, oh you live upstairs and you walk around the neighborhood.

You said, the more put together you look, the less money you actually had it, which is a factual, actual factual. Look at the hood. Okay, yeah, look at Steve Jobs, Look at your Mark uppermos look brand new.

I can tell you that you have less than five thousand dollars in your bank account.

You ain't got no money none.

If you ain't got scuffs on your white sneaks, you care too much about your sneakers and less about.

Your bank account. I means you don't have a home. That's what it is.

What if you don't have shoelaces.

You're just flopping that's a boom. Or you're in jail, you can't. You can't have shoelaces in jail. Criminal, you're a convict.

Sydney didn't take your shoelaces when you went to jail.

They absolutely, they listen. They were trying to take my break. They were like, can we take can we remove these?

I was like, I'm not gonna kill myself with my fucking braids.

I just got my hair done. They try to make you take your braids.

They touched my braid and was like, can we can? It was detached. I was like, I was like, this is racist and homophobic. Yeah, unacceptable, he was. I think we got to get more people of color in these jails to like tell these people, oh, they are there. No, I mean that work that were there. You know, it's color there. You know, I mean you know they don't work.

For them color on the inside. On the outside, they like your buthold.

Well, let's talk about this because I always say that you are my gayest friend. No, you are my gayest friends. Like I'm not the gayest person you are. No, you're gayer than him. Okay, he thinks David Goldberg is gayer than him. It's a different type of gays. Not all gays are the same. There so many varieties. I just mean, like, if there were hierarchies of gay, like you're the Beyonce of gays, I think that's a stretch. But okay, I don't know nothing about her. Is that Sarah mcglackland.

Friend les exactly?

Yes, Well, I don't know.

I don't know the world come to my window.

Okay, we don't go that far back in lesbian world. What's the lesbian right now?

Who's in? Who's in right now?

I don't Christian Stewart, she's Kristin Stewart.

I mean, I don't like anything that she's doing with her face, but she out here working and she's gay.

Who's Kristin Stewart? Twilight Charlie's Angels?

Angels?

That's it?

Oh, the one that's like she got like the stringy trust that mayhair.

She got like she always has, like a smoky eye, like she slept in it.

Yeah, like like raccoon like chic.

That's what she got. But she's always booked, she's always working.

And she's a lesbian.

Yep.

Oh, she ain't got no upper body strength. She looked like she could possibly skateboard and whatnot?

She looks like a skateboard.

What about Karen Delvine?

Is not the country country?

The model with the eyebrows that like spilled her cocaine bag in front of Rihanna's house or something that that w she's real messy.

She's like a super she's a super model.

She's been all like the she got to show an Amazon Prime about like fairies with that.

Did she got a gap? No?

I don't think so she got like mad eyebrows and like kind of like.

Her name is pretty c A r A. Oh I do know her? Oh she cools.

Yeah, I think she was Rihanna at one point.

N Rihanna definitely got the straps Rihanna Smith.

Michelle Rodriguez for a while.

Lesbian.

Yeah, but she she's one of those like lesbians like, yeah, we have to acknowledge her, but like like not really, we don't want.

She looks like she smells like fish.

Oh my god, how can you not She doesn't seem like a good person, right, but how do you hate her?

But not any of the other people that we talked about before.

Michelle Rodriguez did play a trans person like a few years.

Yeah, when she.

Said I'm bisexual, I can play anybody in the community.

Okay, Well, y'all didn't show any heat to Scarlet Johansson when she was like, well I'm Asian.

Today and tomorrow.

She got roasted.

Let Michelle Rodriguez live her life, Okay, if she want to be whatever she wanted to be loved, be what she wanted to be.

You know, I did a turking video with her, okay, and you dance, Well, this is when I had a waste. Now that my waist has expanded that I become one solid tube trainer.

What's that a waist trainer? I'm saying for your you know, like the hood rats, be wearing the gym andre you are prestigious. You don't need none of that.

You're wearing your little like a little you're.

Doing your little you know, drug dealer rappers.

Button.

Yeah, you're good. Have you ever smuggled anything in your bad.

I have to think about that, but I don't think I have. I did lose my virginity to a frozen hot dog?

What okay? What's the first of all? Why people freezing hot dogs?

Well, first of all, you have to freeze, yeah, for the week, for the week, for the week.

You don't leave the hot dog.

Let me tell you something my mother and let me tell you how she raised me. When you buy food from the supermarket, that meat has already been frozen to get to the supermarket, so they it's defrosted when it gets there.

You shouldn't be refreezing the meat again.

So just buy what you can eat and what you can cook, and then it's better to cook it and then freeze that then to oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we do that.

Just my mom would just throw everything in the deep freezer.

Oh, y'all trash about sausage.

Wow, that sounds like, uh, that sounds like the black version of mountain dew.

What's going on?

Man?

You're hard time? What's what? What I was going to call him? Like black trash not white trash?

Pretty much?

Yeah, okay, so your mom you had you had, you had a fridge and a freezer that was separate.

Yes, that doesn't sound like a New Yorker.

Yeah, we had in New Yorker. We had a house where in bed really Yeah, I'm a Brownstown baby.

Down baby. She had the whole building, Yes, the whole buildings is where is she?

And Queens?

She got displaced?

Got it?

Gentrification? Mama moved to Queens?

Did I mean gentrification benefited her but not me?

Is your mother white?

She saw her house, she was like, She's like, I walked quiet, and I'm like.

You should have held it onto it for a little bit more money she could have.

But I mean she wanted to go to Queens and do I don't know Russian things. What is that quiet Polish thing?

That is a cute. There's a cute like you know Caribbean and African American neighborhood in there. It's called Rosedale.

I never heard of it. Sound like Long Island.

I feel like I gotta get on the Metro North to do that.

I feel like the girl on the train witnessing murder, just trying to get to Rosedale to see some Jamaicans.

I could just go outside. Yeah, we're in Brooklyn, but.

You know those Jamaicans over there ain't as trifling.

Oh really, is that what you're gonna say on the I mean, the dragon that I'm dealing with is not trifling.

You know. I haven't seen him, but I'm.

Saying, okay, the.

Feelings. Maybe she gots feeling. I feel like I got leave. Wait, so your mother slave in all day for the man to.

Put food in the deep freezer and you put it in your ask how old were you?

Wow? I was nine years old.

No, does she know about that? Were you watching porn? No?

I just was like I was just starting to feel like things should be in your butt. Yeah, and so like you know the best, Like, have you going to therapy for that? I talked to my therapist about it. Yeah, said it was really like normal. No, you got yours from Groupon. No, your therapist is from a therapist went to like the new school.

Your therapist went to Deride. She took a course online and was like, oh I could do this.

That's me. She's a phoenix.

Your therapist went to one of them day schools that Little Romeo advertises during Maury.

Oh like tt tech. Okay, so you're nine, you feel like you should do something.

Yes with my butt You're like, oh, I'm gonna go get it.

From the freezer.

So, you know, I like the you know, it was small enough, long enough like where I felt it was approach.

Did you warm it up?

No?

I put it in a condom and then I shoved it up my buttole.

How did you win? You went through your mother's condom stash when you were nine?

No, I had.

We have friends they had and nine. Oh yeah, that's weird.

We're condoms everywhere. I'm sorry, I'm that's good, you know, I mean, that's good.

That's good.

It was the free NYC condoms they have those.

It was the colored condoms.

It was free because I took it color. I remember those ones.

That's why they locked the condoms up at Dwayne Reid don't do that.

I think they'd locked a lot of weird stuff. They lock up a lot of products for people of color and doing read. They did a whole thing where they were showing the different shelves and then some of the shelves had the locks on it, and there were all shampoo wave, the curly hair, and then all the panteene, provy and stuff for normal quote unquote hair.

Available was available, that fine hair. They locked up the shade, moisture, all the black stuff.

Yeah, okay, the miss Chessi's lockdown, the coconut oil locked up, rude locked up one of me. But I mean it makes sense if black people going to steal, they're gonna seal the white pople stuff.

They got to the black people stuff, because that's.

What I need, the vast lean intensive care. I'm not taking THEO with the oatmeal in it.

That's the I've used that as before.

All right, Okay, well, what's like unsented all of them?

You know, my first loop was actually DA's hair grease.

Oh mad, you made the employee unlocked the case for the hair grease and then you put it in your butt.

First of all, Dax is the thickest and it's great. It's just like pomade. How well, you know that's not a slippery sliding one that is shooting.

No, that's wrong.

That's you'll clog your pores and your ass with that.

That's wrong. I sure did. And like the first time I took a took a real dick, not a hot Uh. We use the dack's hair grease because that's what was around. And then are you sure? Yes, you sound like Missouri or something like that. You remember you remember that Indian hemp grease too little? Yeah, that was the biggest.

Foliated butthole you so gross? Why would you do that?

You know? I was sustainable, just trying to use what was available instead of like, why is that?

Because shouldn't How old were you you think when that happened?

Fourteen?

Well you fourteen? You don't really know, But how was the person that you were sleeping with?

Fourteen?

Yeah, yeah, we're just dumb. Nobody knows anything at fourteen.

No, I was gonna teach, you know, being gay at that time. Yeah, you know, no one wants to give you the information or anything. So you gotta either be resourceful and use what's around you.

I will say that Andrew is looking at you. He's intrigued. I don't know if he's turned on, but he's definitely like.

Uh turn y, No, definitely not.

Look at Andrew's wispy hair. You know, only.

Wait when Andrew Andrew? You got no hair grease at the house for the black people. You don't have like a little guest shelf.

No, I have the large astro gliade ready astro line.

Well you're old school. How old are you? Astro glaid?

That's the trick. However, if you're putting all that stuff inside of your like, you're making yourself more susceptible, yes to things.

Yes, when you're two fourteen year old?

Right doesn't and just like you don't get you think you're gonna live for everyone.

You're fourteen, You like I could jump off this roof and land on thatd dick from three stories up. You think you're invisible when you're fourteen, But I was not having.

Some Jamaicans be doing that and then daggering. Yes.

Okay, wait, so here's my question. So two young gaze, two young attractive gaze? Yes, they how do you all decide you knew you were a bottom from.

From the jump?

The beginning because you want to take it.

Yeah, yeah, describe like bottom is literally just somebody who takes it, takes a dick.

It's like you want it inside of you, you want it around you. You're like more dick centric.

Than you are diccentric.

What's the whole enthusiast? Enthusiast?

I like this eccentric?

Yeah?

What time were you born? I want to know what? What moon you got?

My moon is a Leo moon.

I don't even know what that means.

So I'm like a double Libra with a Leo moon, which means that I have like I'm a true Libra with the kind of determination of a Leo.

I don't know what any of the means. And I'm a Libra. What time were you born?

Somewhere between three pm and ten pm?

Is your mercury always in retrograde?

Like?

What's it's always ant?

No?

I got my crystal?

I love it.

So that was smooth ceiling merch. He's brought to you.

By So what happens when you two bottoms meet?

It's like you know, when you put magnets and they kind of don't. Yeah, I mean, are you just complaining about who's going to do it? I want to be the bottom.

Why can't you just switch off? Saying we don't understand why you can't.

Just like if neither of us want to do it.

So you're sucking lazy, that's what.

Literally, just want to take the dick and they don't want to do anything, and it's just like.

Discussion something that's a lot of work, is it?

Okay, y'all are talking like y'all are talking like we've never taken dick exactly.

It's not all in your asshole.

I have tried.

Okay, we have done it successfully.

I have done success. Okay, wow, Marie. Successfully.

I was in a relationship and I was like, yeah, tried this one time and it felt like nothing, and then we never.

Did it again.

Did you use grease? No?

I said, it felt like nothing, Like it.

Did nothing for me. I don't want to do this.

Oh wow, this is weird. I couldn't imagine you doing aint.

Know.

With this haircut, I look like a power bottom. Honestly, I feel like I can see it.

I should be I should be giving dickey that people.

Oh my god, I mean your brother is fine.

Discussing They said, my brother is my doppelganger.

It is so gross. Oh my god, I'm just I'm gonna throw.

So two bottoms meet and if y'all are attracted to each.

Other, there are some times where I think it's important to tops to know so that you know how to be a better bottom.

How do you be a better bottom? What's what's a good bottom?

Someone who knows like what to do when the dick is inside of him or knows how to either a prepare or understand when it's time and when it's not time. Also like when it's time, yeah, when it is for the next person, Like if you got a do do you know you want to make sure you evacuate or you know, sometimes you're heating the moment and literally shit happens and you just.

Do it literally. Okay, well let's talk about that.

You know that's usually a no.

No you have any of those stories.

I know you got one I do. But if it happens, it happens, is you know, yeah, yes this is safe, but you know Okay, so you want to hear a time?

Yes, yeah, that's what this whole podcast word like, yes, yes, yes, yes, let's go.

So you know I was in the MSN chat rooms not to tell you all my age but okay, al and so we're like, you know, I'm chatting up with this dude. And we was talking for you know, a minute.

And a minute literally, it was like an afternoon.

And he's like, you know, let's meet up at Christopher Street Peers. You know, at the time, I was twenty years old and he was like twenty eight. And so he's like, I'm gonna come pick you up in my in my car. So you know, that should already been a red flag, but whatever, it's just like he has a car. Yeah, stranger off the internet, let me pick you up in my car.

And you were like, hey, you get.

Into my car, get out of my dreams and into myca That's what happened. And you were like, yes, daddy, he was fine, dull. Look who were playing them in a movie?

Like Italian?

Justin Timberlake, I don't believe. And so justin timber isn't Italian?

Well like darker hair.

No, I thought he's Italian, he said, Justin it's creole.

He's from occasions.

He's just from the South. You said he's related to Beyonce.

No, he's from like now Orleans.

He's no Tennessee.

I thought, you know, wait, so you said he's related to that was racist and homophobics.

Where you just said he said he's from Dell.

I mean that hair. Matt got some kink curl.

That's what I saw a video of an Asian person putting straws in their hair and then they took it out and they.

Looked like Afro hair. So that's when he got a perm. I'm tired of everybody.

He got a curly white person perm and then he got some corn rows and black people were like, we love it, and I was like, not me.

Not he was. He was using jam on his edges. He was using decks but on his butt though.

Okay, so you know I go Italian Justin Bieber, just In timulated exactly.

He comes to the piers and so he pulls up in this black kind of like jeep looking thing because I don't know how to drive, so I don't really know about cars that much. It didn't have big yeah, and so I hopped in the hopped in the car and like he's like, We're going to drive up to the Bronx because that's where I live.

And I was like, oh no, no, no, no, no, Chelsea.

And back in the day, the Bronx was the Bronx. The Bronx is still no.

No, he lived in White People Bronx.

He lived in Riverdale, White People Bronx. I never heard of that. I've never heard of. Riverdale is a fancy from the book.

Based off the Bronx.

That's not the right now.

Wow, it's like big ass houses, like old school houses, like mansions and stuff.

Yeah, but if you got a mansion in Riverdale, you're basically that's like having a house in Detroit.

The like five million dollars you talking about.

I'm not going to Riverdale, but five million dollars Okay, picked up, I did, And.

Yeah, it says Riverdale is a residential neighborhood in the northwest portion of the Bronx.

That's so the b I'm looking at them.

Okay, we got to switch this whole thing up.

Wow.

Okay.

So, so he's like, I'm gonna pick you up. So we're in the car. He's like, I'll drop you back home, so don't worry because we're going further into And I lived in Brooklyn, so you know, So we get back to his house and you know, we're talking and I'm you know, feeling like you know, like I want some zou some zoo, and so you know, we like in the bed and and like you know, we're getting ready and he like puts it in and I like fly off the bed because he didn't like this is when

You know, you gotta romance, be a little bit.

You gotta you know, make it, make it violated.

You gotta dilate it.

Wait, so you have to use some type of arousal, like you know.

Talk to it, lick it, kiss it. Yeah, you know, lick it, kiss it pet, maybe some popper.

You got to lick it, move it. What is that something you can get it? Okay, So he just jams.

Jammed it in there, and I flew off the bed onto the wall, like straight up.

And you're tall too, so like when you fall off the bed and you fall off the bed, you hit the mirror, dude, you hit the flow.

Yeah. So I get back up holding my my my boucy cat, your boucie cat.

Oh, I love that cat.

Like I paused for a second. I was like I think I'm good, and so I waited and then like I was like, let me control this. So I get up on top of him. You know, I like put the blanket like to the side of my hips, you know, like make that kind of like you know, seashell. Like I was like the goddess divine.

Like Beyonce had her pregnancy photo.

Shoot, and so like I'm like riding. I'm like on top and I'm like.

You're feeling yourself. You're doing music playing.

In my head, so like I'm going up and down and I'm like, oh my god, this is so much easier than I thought it would be.

And so like I'm like, oh, oh my go.

And he's like he's like, oh my god, any moves a blanket and I was like, oh, and it was just what you would think.

Did you have diarrhea?

I see, I'm lactose and tolerant. I ate macaroni and cheese everywhere.

Oh you had the maca and the cheese. That's the real mac attack you No, I know what it is.

Thank you for macaroni and cheese.

You shot all in this man's cold sheets, and you know this was his good sheet. Yeah, they have the flowers on them. His cabbage batch kids. You do that Martha Stewart.

The dove yo. So then what happened he.

Was more embarrassed than I was. I was just like, oh my god, I'm sorry. So I jumped in the shower like you know what happened to the pool?

Uh?

He backed it up, nigger.

I would have put the whole bed. The bed is done. Yes, I'll be like nan one one dead body come up and pick up this dead body and then they get there like oh yeah, I just.

Take the bed. It's the bed. I was like, yeah, something's wrong with the bed.

Yeah, it's just doodoo.

Yeah, doodoo in a toilet is not the same as like loose that's just out.

And some raw doodo, rare raw, uncut doodle, just loose poop and it's no was it medium?

It was rare. It was rare.

Because you know, because mine'd be like well done, sometimes harsh, liot like plates hard. It'd be like it'd be like cold, you know, it'd be like little pellets look like Coco crispy, like.

You gotta get more fiber in my day. Yeah.

Sometimes sometimes when I should have been like, oh you've been a bad.

Girl, Santa dropped off cold.

You're like girl, you need eat much spinach or something. Ship give you some greens anything. Prebiotics okay, speak on it us up.

Probiotics are fibers that eat that the probiotics eat. So whenever you take probiotics, you should always have feed them probiotics. So you should have a diet healthier and fibers so that your microbiome can like thrive and grow.

I don't know what none of the more is, but they sound right.

We believe you. Micaelbrianms microbim. That's how you can be a better bottom too, because poop is more like a smooth ship ceiling on you.

I don't think that you need your poop to be no smoother obviously it came right out with your But no, there's.

Like too hard and then there's two, you know, separated and loose. You want to try to find like a happy medium.

I think when it's harder it's better, no, because then less less like particles is like all up in the rectum.

You know when it's when you're soft, it's just messy, soft, squishy pool. No no, no for like you were like I wasn't ready. I was ready. That's the sound of me and you'd be like, wow, have you ever pooped so much.

That you were like, all that came out of my body?

And then you get on the scale, You're like, I'm the same way.

That's fucked up.

I'm the same you were like, I gotta call somebody so.

We can see how much is well, just take a picture and send it.

No, we don't do that. I've never taken up.

You can only see my dudoo live, you know, let me go live in person? Yeah?

Wait?

So he so, so he sees all the ship.

He's like, I go in the shower. I let him deal with it, and then I come back out because you know, I was like feeling refreshed and I was like ready to go again. He's like, oh, okay, I think I'm gonna just call it a night.

Yeah, bitch, after you, after you singe my nostrils with your waist, you think I'm gonna get hard for you.

You're root, You're root, You're root, You're root.

He's like all right, so, and I'm like waiting because you know, he said he's going to drive me back.

Oh sis.

He's like he's like you ship on the sheets. He's like your own way the sheets oh, I got another shitty sheet story.

Okay, wait, so he dropped you over at the tree.

Oh.

Absolutely, you were lucky that you got that baby.

It took you three.

Three days to get They thought she was missing. They put you on milk cartons and everything theirl like, have y'all.

Seen you back home? And you were like, oh my god, bro Box, you have to take a you had to take the boat back. You're like, god, a little canoe. You're just trying to get back to the city. I'm in Riverdale, the nice part of the Bronx.

And then everybody starts laughing, right, the nice part of the Bronx.

I am. I'm judging Archie Cats. Okay, Sydney gotta go. I'm turning. I turned my head you in the row boat like, I'm just trying to get home to my family.

Would you guys to know that Sydney is wearing a sleeping mask right now and.

I was trying to do the act out for a bird Box.

Yeah, every look she's.

You don't see it.

This act out is gold, baby, you know you can't see it.

It reminds me of a single poop going down the toilet.

Oh my god.

Okay, so what's your other story of being a bottom?

It sounds like you're a bad bottom, bad bottom in the hallway.

No, I mean you're young.

Yeah exactly, Yeah, Andrews like Andrews like, of course we've all pooped on.

The I've only pooped on one deck only we want.

To hear the story I've been sharing his business.

Oh no, it's just I mean my first boyfriend and like it was like the second time that he's tried going up there and there was just like a layer underneath of you know how the penis head.

Oh yeah, so you harpooned somehow harpo and.

You didn't know until you sod on it. This is Sydney, you know what. It's so funny. Sydney was like, Oh, the podcast has been too much.

About sex recently, it's been about sex too much living Like he's at a restaurant, waiter water.

I gotta give that back.

That's not that's that is that is like shoot, that is like a center batic, Like did the chef put ship?

I mean, if you think about it as humans, we eat a lot of ship.

Wait, howation alcohol firm?

I'm a top. I don't know what you're talking.

About you eating all the poop you didn't like, all the different types of bacterial poops.

Honey, I would cut you. I have put you.

Are you getting ready? Yeah, honey, you gotta shave that.

But it's actually not good to shave your buthole because when it grows back, it like itches and stuff like, No, it doesn't.

Andre said, is his no itch?

Well your butthole is dead inside, so it's actually our I p yeah, so sorry, dead and gone.

I put it in the freezer.

No, because you want to put it in there with a little hot dogs that you go, uh, just disrespect?

Can you?

Can you go into depth about like a good top, like what makes the top?

Like that's a good top.

So a good top is the top that like takes their time, like really listens to the person that they're like being intimate with.

That should be anybody, though she shouldn't just be a top.

That's just like it should be. But in society it's not.

Oh you got some stories doing what they want to do.

Sometimes you want to be like you had it. Okay, first of all, I'm not turned on. Get me wet and then we'll talk. Otherwise you can go home spit on it at least.

I don't need your saliva and just get it wet. Do what you're supposed to do, what you're supposed to do exactly. Friend, I don't want to do no astroglide. I'm natural.

I know it works.

It works, Okay, it's worked before. Listen if don't know what right now, that's not muffault. That's only you. Yeah, that's your that's.

A you problem. But you know what.

The the anus isn't.

Like you can't get wet.

Really yeah, that's.

Sweat looking, but sweat.

It's called mucoid plaque.

That's not like something that gets caught on your teeth. Ukloid.

Intestines produces an amount of mucus to lubricate it so you can pass stools and so like when your body is like used to being pen traded or used to using the bathroom more often, you produce more mucous lining on the lining of your intestines.

Okay, is that only for men?

It's for everyone.

I don't know about life. Yeah, but it's dry.

Yeah, my buddy is dry. My asshole is parched. Yes, like this is a arobaic.

Like yeah, yeah, I don't want to have anal sex with y'all.

We don't want to bottom, honestly, and I wouldn't be putting it in your butt, and I don't know if it feels.

I don't feel sad, and I.

Don't feel like you're the type that they'd be like excuse me, like you're I.

Feel like you would have no communication.

So I actually do like this. So you've heard younger stories.

Okay, well let's talk about now what's up?

What's good?

So you know there's the prep for the booty, so you like get a little and the bulb.

We heard about that, and.

You know you do up there or you can offer women. So there's a way for women to tell how to if they're ready to bottom through the anus. You put your two fingers inside your vagina, will never and then you point it backwards towards your towards your rectum. And so if you feel like a hard lump, it means that there's a passenger in there. So you can't like.

What that's crazy because the way my ship works, I know when it's there.

Yeah you do.

Yeah, it's like.

Babe, yeah, it texted me like as is we gotta go, it's time.

No, But that's what so many bad bottoms also say, is that they know their body?

Well, some do, he said bad bottoms.

Yeah, but and then it's just like no, no, no, you don't know everything that's going on up there, though.

I know for a fifty of the time, which is why I always do.

The you know, how long does it take to do your ass?

It depends on how much you've eaten and what you are.

If you have mac and cheese, whether you went to Boston Market cheese, it's just you put the bulban and you'll be like, oh, I got to get another bulb? What's the wait? What's a good?

Like if you're on a dinner date and you're gonna go, yeah, you go on bottom, Like what's good things to order?

When you're gonna be a bottom martini? Exactly?

A martini, Well, you got a three.

Hour window depending on like how like it's like two to three hours. So if you're gonna eat something, eat something that you know won't irritate or like speed up the process.

Right, So a salad some people you.

Know can't have all that acidity on that salad and it like makes things move. Watermelon salad, Yeah, like fruits good.

But you can't put fetta in it because you know, but the feta is what makes the water watermelon salad.

I like amic reduction.

I like that bottom beach a bolics when you make it, like when it's like thick and you can put that on like meats and whatnot.

Okay, with a little spot.

I like that.

Actually put that on your asshole. That's okay, that's the mucus.

That's that. But that mucusus paucus.

It's a bosomic reduction. I made an a only for your asshole.

Okay, thinks Okay, So so something light, I mean, but we kind of do that right seafood Okay, I think.

So unless you're allergic to shrimp like I am.

Have you I feel like you have a story about a time that you ate shrimp anyway, Oh yeah, I'm greedy.

Well that's how I found out. I was like I always had a sensitivity, and then I was my roommate was making cevich mm hmm, and like you like kind of like quickly like blanched the shrimp and then let it cook. In the mind, what is it blanched the shrimp? So it's kind of you like you cook and boil and water so you just do it. You blanch it so it's not like a full cook. And so then you put it in the lime juice and lime juice the acid de nature's the proteins, and then it becomes

Blood well, that definitely didn't get me hard.

Honestly, I feel like there's something in my diet that I think that I might be allergic to.

But I'm afraid that it might It might could be bringing what is it baby talk to me. I'm never gonna.

I'm so I'll eat certain things and like my stomach will feel a surt, like I'll feel like full and like like my stomach will hurt.

M sis.

I don't know what happened in Miami, but I was quanstipated, like I could not pass quantating.

Hmm, don't do that. You were constipated when you got there. You got there were pooping your butt? Yeah, because I pooped in Miami.

It was didn't come out.

Does stress affect your BMS.

It could it could be the situation, but I don't know. Like we was at the beach and I just felt like this.

Guy came to talk to us and CITY was like, well, I don't care. I'm constipated. I haven't pooped in several days.

And I was like, what you just came to be, Like what should I do? And it was like, I can't talk. I say that at the beach in broad daylight, it was the fun. The sun was on, it was literally on.

But I saw those pictures. You tell me look mad?

Flat?

No.

I talked to Marie about it, and she's like, you know, I said, I was like taking a picture.

She's like, you know, that's a good friend.

She's a mean friend. I can't believe you don't suck your stomach and when you take pictures. I sucked my stomach and when I take pictures. I thought that was something that we all just kind of like.

But that's crazy, Marie, because like, can I see your stomach without you sucking it in?

No, let me see I'm sitting stand up. No, come on. He talked about his book. That's not that's his truth, that's his foul.

I mean, I think you should do a children's book called an anal story.

He anal, but.

And then B is for beads.

Okay, do a in minor, in a minor and.

Then a labor What what's that? Labia majora, labia majora exactly, labia minora.

Okay? So people who because there are people who are like verse, Yes.

They're they're more evolved than me.

What do you mean they could do both? You don't want those people in your life anyway. It's like pick a fucking side.

So you've never wanted to top.

It's not that I never I just love your being. I'm just a better bottom.

You know.

I'm a bottom's bottom too.

You're a bottom's bottom.

Yes. I used to hook up with this porn star that was a bottom and he would call me and like he'd be like, you know when you're the person I think that when I wanted to Yes, hey.

Just put her grandmama toes. Oh my god, yo, we gotta go. Here's a homeless person.

You remember that show Dinosaurs? Ye?

Baby, like yo.

Is a.

What is on that? Is that dirt?

So it's a salad? It got the corn onions.

The piggy toe is a KKK leader.

You know that's a pretty I can't tell how pretty the nail pologies is.

The toes, Oh my mom oh, my toes are dead. I can't.

What's the problem, says you look like and.

Said and looked like you got a lot of nerves.

But you think about my feet.

You have a dick on your foot.

I do have a dick tattoo on my foot.

Wait, let me say it's small, it's cute. That's disgusting.

If you got your actually feet on the table, that's disgusting.

You have no class, Yo, Sydney, I'm done with you. Let me see this, Let me see it. Let me know.

We're not watching the video that we just shot on your foot on the podcast we Go. I'll watch you at the airy because and then I'll post it on the Artificial Expert instant stories.

Okay, it's aggressive. Andre.

Is there anything that you want to tell people about bottoms that you feel like they get wrong? Yeah, something that's a misconception, right, Something that you feel like you need to clarify.

Yeah, it's a lot of work, and it's not just laying there like you know, someone's like giving you the opportunity to enjoy their bodies. You should appreciate it and be gentle and be understanding.

Wow, but what if you want to be rough? Yeah, it looks like you want to be roight.

Yeah you got Well it's all because you and Andrew. You'll look like y'all are y'all take it?

We do? Andrew be taking it.

And two days okay, somebody was giving me, giving me a little stunt right there, like you wink your like eyebrow something.

He said, yeah, we'll be taking it. Andrew days black dudes do, so he'd be taking it.

Are you doing your bagels right now? My bagel? Oh?

No, I'm not. I really don't do like a lot.

He don't need that. And you said he don't be doing no prep?

No, no, I mean obviously it will do the clean you.

Know, do you know how to suck a dick with your butt?

Uh?

Oh, I guess not need to be.

Here for this, right, It's so like, yeah, y'all have something else planned.

I mean when you're just like you just tighten it.

Well, it's not. It's like you move the muscles in the rhythm that acts as a vacuum and then you like push it down.

And I hate you so much?

Are you trying to get people to slide in your motherfucking po box?

That's what you're trying slot but real smooth, Yeahlie Brown?

Okay, So what's the clean up afterwards.

When you're done?

Yeah?

Well, I mean if you clean before then it won't be so crazy after.

But like you're putting Indian hemp beads.

And that was that was That was the nightmare?

Is there anyway?

So I got like a baby duck covered in oil.

It doesn't matter how much you clean your butt, it's still gonna be like it's gonna smell like.

A poop a little bit. I mean, yeah, it's an asshole.

Yeah, you gotta wrap the wash cloth around your finger and put it in your butt, Marie, that's what you do that.

I don't think that's sanitary. I feel like there's more like germs and bacteria in a like cloth that you're just like pushing eye erect.

Don't actually shove my finger in my butt.

Your butt's gonna smell like, it's gonna smell like you. It's not necessarily poop. It's just your body like has different smells in different parts of your your areas that you know it's you.

Some of y'all smell bed. I'm saying it right now, not yell in the studio, but some of y'all smell bad.

Smell good, yeah, because like an ask can smell good and not smell like poop like it still smells like like but you know, like not like that's not like a negative thing.

You sound like a but you know it's giving me but on the time.

But with the hints of U L Trained, Dusty Brown feel.

Riverdale the Rocks the other Yo. That should be the title of river The Other Rocks.

That's that. I encourage you to visit. Riverdale's actually quite nice.

I'm actually awesome. We're not going to do that. We don't believe not happening, So thank you. I just put your phone on the charge because of mine.

So I got these free tickets to see some one in concert and also have backstage passes. But it's in Riverdale. Would you come No?

No?

Because Madonna was a bam.

I was like, that's around the corner from I can walk to Madonna. I'm not walking to Riverdale. Who that we want to see would be performing in Riverdale?

Kylie Minogue?

Who No, I'm not taking six train. I'm not.

I don't want to see anybody that bad. If Beyonce was in Riverdale, I'm not.

Going mmm free ticket free.

I don't like I don't like music that bad, you know.

I mean if the ride, if there's a ride, the ride.

Okay, wait, I have a more important question. Can you name some famous bottoms?

Yes, in the closet or out the closet?

Both, No, let's do in the closet.

No, out the closet. That's let's do out the closet. Then let's do who you think is a good botty?

We don't out any don't do that here.

Well, you know, it's just you therizing. I'm just I'm not. I'm not. I don't have any information that they are sure. I'm just assuming they all gay.

Everybody gay.

So who's a good bottom? I would say justin Bieber?

What he's not out?

I mean he could be getting tops by his woman.

He had a pastor for a while, do you the pastor with the tattoos? Yeah?

Hill Song very very hot.

Dare they will come after you the Hillsong hive. Yeah.

We talk about the Lord a lot on the spot. Yes, we will listen. Sorry, Blue blonde hair. Jesus, go ahead, let's see who else?

I mean, why do you think Justin bieber Is is a good bottom?

Just move because he's hit a certain way.

Okay, so off beat, off beat? Okay, who else?

Me?

Famous bottoms?

Me?

Do you think John Travolta is a bottom or the top?

I think he's versatile?

Yeah too, Andy Collen is the bottom?

He is?

I thought he was a top, absolutely, look at the guys that he has on a show.

But no, no, no, I think he's the top. There was an interview that they had where he said he was the top really because he had a grinder profile. And then they were talking about like there's this whole thing and then he spoke about it and like talked about like.

His position John Legend, Oh he got apple.

Booty bottom bottom, Yeah for sure. Honestly, he's just not utilizing all that booty.

Mmmm mm hmmm you just want chew gum?

What?

Like what I gotta go? Like what is happening?

Like girl about.

She's putting on body oils over the she's doing all lashes.

I'm like, what is happening? I'm getting prepped. It's a bottom.

He learned nothing.

Wait you can't. You can put essential oils on.

For this is preparation. Yeah, your bottle or like essential oils where o my body? Oh that's nice.

Famous bottoms, jay.

Z yes to. I mean Beonce is the top for sure?

Really you think so?

No? I feel like her off stage is not her Yep, yep, yep, yep.

It's a compassion fairy.

It's a completely So then why would you think Rihanna is the top? Rihanna is?

Do you saw how she was in that that that jacuzzie with that billionaire that.

She was fucking giving it to him and had a finger in his and she had a nail. She had a long nail.

She had a tail on coffin shape right in. Yeah, Brihanna for but Rihanna's energy on and off stage is very big dig energy.

Be Yance on stage has that and then off stage.

But you do know bottom can have that energy. Yeah, like topping from the bottom. Some of the biggest some of the ones that you think are the biggest top so actually the most like take it in bottom.

I'm trying to get you to name something you're not giving.

Men like Neil Patrick Harris is a bottom. I believe right, Neil Patrick Harris.

Oh, I don't even know about him.

I don't know that man.

If you won't buy me on the street, I'm sorry, I wouldn't know. Sorry to this man. Sorry, sorry, Okay, anybody else can throw some of the names out there that we think Corey Booker bottom talk about it bottom.

Yeah, he hooked up with Mandy Kaling of Herodly. There's a whole thing where they're saying that Corey Booker could be Mindy Kaling's baby's father. Yes, because they were flirting a lot on Twitter, and she refuses to say anything about who they are.

She rich, She don't need to tell y'all who the baby she is. She pregnant, Yeah, she.

Had a baby, like the baby's like one and a half years.

Old, but she wasn't pregnant. She had a surrogate.

She was pregnant when, sorry, like over a year ago.

I don't remember when she was pregnant. I've never seen any pictures.

I also don't follow anything that she does. I was like, she thick, you know she is thick?

Yeah?

Mmmmm? Interesting? Is the baby cute?

She doesn't piss any picture of the baby.

That's how you do it.

You do it right.

Yeah, so it's almost like she didn't have a baby. It's like Brenda getta baby a baby. She might throw a baby away.

No, it's always pictures like from behind. It's like always the back of I think her name is Catherine.

Catherine, Catherine Kayling.

Katherine Kayling.

That's trash.

She almost feels like that's like a Kardashian move right.

There, Katherine Kayling.

Yeah, uh wait wait wait Kanye West top or bottom?

Oh m hm mm hm hmmm.

I think he's a power bottom mm hmm. Okay, but I think he's also he's in an elevated bottom where he like tops.

To bottom top.

I feel like Kim Kardashian is lazy, so he might not be able to No, I think she move it.

No, we saw the sex tape. She well then there was moved the camera back on their sweaty bodies.

It was well, let me hold on, let me fix the camp race got a thick one.

Yeah, he does, Serena Williams bottom really mm hmmmm mmmmmm.

I don't know.

I feel like her man would like put down a towel and get make her like a meat and cheese plateboard before he like fuck her.

I don't know. I would like that.

I would like a man to give me a little meat before give me a little meat.

The cheese afterwards greer abris a greer with bre in the middle, okay, and a little balsamic reduction, and then like.

The bread with like a like a little jam.

I love the jam that turns me on. You put a little prostrito on that on top.

Fuck, we need to get that mail? Do they have that chick check? Y'all got boards here? Y'all got a balsamic reproduction? Oh my god, I would love truly. You're so hungry. I'm hungry too, but I gotta prepare for shows and tonight.

Well, Andre, before we go, is there anything that you feel like.

You wanted to say?

That was all?

We didn't even talk about your hot sauce? Oh well, okay, well let's talk about that real quick. Now, Where can people find you? Andre?

Has uh you know is a hot sauce genius?

I make spicy things, so you can find me online. W w wakwanda. We'll feed you dot com. And if you don't know how to spell shakwanda.

Then you don't deserve it.

Exactly. You can always google drag Queen hot Sauce and it will pop up.

It's good, it's been on hot ones. Halle Berry tasted.

It, called it that neighborhood sauce.

She did, Yeah, she did.

She's got the hot sauce. Okay, John Legend he put it on his wings? Did he put it on Chrissy teaks tits? That's what I heard.

I didn't hear that did taste your sauce?

So that was different that that episode. He was like very engaged with talking about himself, which was sarcissistic. No, he was like he was telling what he needed to tell, but he didn't really go into depth about the hot sauce, about anyone's sauce.

Well, there was that meme of him choking on the sauce.

Yeah, it gets hotter, and then you get to the point where it's like like like a lot of skullvilles and you either sweat and like be like I can't do this, or you're a champ like halle Berry and you just like take them wings.

Is she good to the end?

Oh? Yeah, she finished all of them with like a little bit of sweat, but she cleaned them bones. Do you know how to eat a wing.

Okay, well, I'll be leaving like the veins. I don't be eating that chiwy part like I listen. I don't need all that extra on.

She put on her wings wig. It was great, it was sturdy, secure. Okay.

The bang was swept to the side, to the side because she knew, because you can't get heat on a bang.

Absolutely not, because then you might get that in your eye.

Yeah.

But then she used a little sauce. Get them baby hairs, put them down here, let them down?

Are you put a little a little doodoo stop it? Sowanda will feed you. Is the instagram also Andre Springer Underscore. Yes, it's also the other instagram.

Uh, don't be asking me to poop on you either. I don't do that.

But for the right for the right amount of money, wouldn't poopo somebody? Is somebody overed you. Let's let's let's ten thousand dollars? Yeah, yeah, thousand dollars?

Yeah, I would do that. Would to poop on some a thousand.

I'm just pooping. I'm not getting pooped on. Yeah, but two thousand dollars before tax? Why are you? And you gotta pay your manager? And this is a real business and your agent.

Absolutely not. I'm just paying my lawyer. It's gonna be directed by I'll just pay my lawyer to make sure my contract is right. It should be like I can't ship after five and I can ship before nine, and it's gotta be a little bit solid. It can be that that giving you a runny egg poop.

Okay, well hundred, thank you so much for being here thinking open. People are gonna start in your d MS. They're gonna be nasty. They're gonna be nasty, but they're gonna slide in.

They're gonna love it. They're gonna make a fake profile just to be like.

Hey, I'm legit, so tired and so hungry and just I can't This is a lot. I didn't know how excited I would get about this.

And then it's draining. Yeah, because we shamed you for chewing gum on the mic. Yeah, and then you're you remember where you were. I was like, wow, Marie's a time.

Well because you always eat on the microphone, like when, oh my god.

Seriously, one time you brought the monchies.

Girl came on into the microphone, right, I was eating them too, but I wasn't eating directly into the mic. You just you know, and he's like, anyway, whatever, we got things to do, and you're definitely a top.

Sure, yeah I am. You didn't pack anybody yet.

I have not picked anybody yet, but it's it's gonna happened twenty We got three months left of the year.

Now, you know how to prep them before you have any.

I can't imagine you like you you.

You put the strap on, and then you would FaceTime like sis, I don't know.

What you and then you like you look at this cissok like sis, should I do it in these caprice?

So?

Like I don't know if my hair matches the strap?

Yes, baby, I'm so ready. Do you have any tips for me to peg somebody before we go?

Yes, prep them before you peg them.

I gotta prep them. They don't.

Most straight guys don't know how to do that.

I believe that.

Yeah, gives send them a there's a teen Vogue article on how to get ready for.

Send it to send it to me, except the Jean Vogue article about how to peg somebody?

Know how to prep for? You know how to do anal sex?

Send it to me now seen Vogue. This is an exces that's why the magazine went out of business. Yeah, aggressive Jean Volge more like tinos. Guys, thank you so much for listening. Don't forget to rate, comment, subscribe.

Yes, we get Unofficial Expert Live October twelfth, Union Hall.

Get them to tickets.

Oh actually, you know what, if you come, maybe we'll bring up We'll bring a bottle of Chicwana's Life.

Yeah, let's get give us something sauce. Y, we'll bring some hot sauce for you. Well, we'll all right, your last day week, Yeah, it's October tenth. Maybe you can come and be a judge.

Who knows?

Yeah, yeah, maybe you can can be a judge. Yeah, we'll see, we'll do it. Okay, great, Yeah, Like Andrew's got to get out of here. Okay, bye, guys Aye.

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