"The Bald Expert" with Tarik Daniels

Hello, Hello to the Unofficial Expert Podcast with Sydney and Marie. Sidney, you look amazing in this catsuit that you got on.

Yeah, thank you.

I you know it's I got this in May and now it's when is it?

I don't even know? Yeah, it's fault.

So I was waiting, where did you get that from? Uh?

You know, well rainbow.

Like ron It's it's very like it looks like graffiti. It's very Jenny from the block. Yeah. I feel like if you cut out in the back, it is let me see, it's like a deep back. Oh yeah, you can almost see my ass crack.

Oh my god. Yeah, that's so good body suit.

But this is just for the day, you know, this is not even for the night. I'm not even going to show these hos what I'm working with. What you were we can see everything. You don't have a bra one no, and you probably don't have no panties on.

So really, what do you You.

Look like you're giving us like mystique vibes. Very no, this is fashion nova. I feel very fashion nova, like like I should have a glass of Hennessy in my hand, a glass wineless, just like a sniff sniffer snifter or whatever.

You know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, I feel like I should touch my knees, touch my elbows or something with this on.

Yeah, going to like freaknake or something. Yeah, I should or Miami.

No, it's too you're too covered for Miami. Really yeah, this is like yeah, Miami is like everything is like Brazilian cut. Yeah, you should wear a thong. Everything like the dress to be cut like a thong, right exactly. Yeah, should be in your butt lost.

Well, you look great. You're in your best sleep shirt. Thank you something.

You know this is not a sleep shirt for me because I sleep. Let ass take it.

Oh, look at that.

We're giving the listeners some like you know, all the vish some ear porn.

This is like ear porn. Listen.

If you want some iporn, go to my Instagram it's reezy r e e e z y and just imagine me but ass naked in the bed, or just slide in my DM and I might show you a picture of my kneecap. I'm just sending nudes in my knees, That's what I'm doing. I feel like I don't have good knees, but they're like they're like dark scarred. Hey, some people are into that dark and scarred. Yeah, which people. Some dudes they're like, oh, that means you good on

'tis I?

But I have like scars on my knee, like you know, people like, I guess you used to jump a lot as a kid or whatever. And I got dragged by a car.

That's what?

Oh my god, wait what I want to tell you the story.

It's hilarious.

Oh my. So my mom was leaving her job and I was with her, and she starts to drive her Toyota and I was like, I'm gonna see if I could race your car. And my mom is going maybe three miles an hour, and I was like running next to the car, and she sped up a little bit and then I grabbed the passenger window and I fell and the car reacked me for a little bit. But my mom didn't know and she wasn't going that fast.

Was young, right, Does that make sense? You didn't let it go.

I didn't let it go until you know, a couple of feet, a couple of meters. Yo, So that's probably why you your mom's favorite, because she's like, I almost killed my brother.

Is my mother's favorite? Yeah?

Yeah, damn mom, she's her favorite. We call him precious. At my house, we'd be like, Precious, Well, I'm glad that you're alive. And you know those scars mean something, Yeah, it means I'm dumb. Our scars like I got the ones on my knuckles. I got my elbow, I was bleeding all over the place, and I had just gotten a chain letter that day that my dad wouldn't let me resent. So I was like, that's why I got these guards. Send that chain letter.

Chain letters. No, I don't even know what the hell that is.

I was going through Listen, I got a chain letter, right, and so they say you have to send this to X amount of people or something bad's gonna happen to you. And I was going through the phone book because I was like, I'm not gonna send this to people I know. I'm just gonna find random niggas in the phone book and send it to them. And my dad was like, I'm not giving you money for stamps or envelopes, and I'm not taking you to the post office to drop this off.

Stop it.

And I was like, but something bad's gonna happen. And then something bad happened, So send those chain letters kids. That's a TVT right there, because the kids don't know about that now.

Now it's like it's all on Instagram.

It's like, if you see this post, you have to posting tag eight people dumb. So I don't do that, but you know whatever, Thank you so much for admiring my house clothes, Sydney. Yes, let's get into these expertise. Yeah, what were you an expert in this week dealing with blind men?

I'm sorry, yeah, I was.

I was at a comedy show and uh it was these two people, like two older people. They were heckling everybody and it was on the Upper East Side, so like, you know, they got some rent stabilized condo that they're working on or whatever, and they were just like talking to everybody during their.

Set, like keep going hold the mic a different way.

What, Yeah, like giving people like constructive, constructive criticism, but the dude was blind, and so I'm like, man, ain't nobody gonna roast you because you blind and you got the retractable cane. So they're like, oh, he's having a bad time, So this is why he's heckling. The retractable retractable cane is like the fancy cane. Nah, dude, Like what if somebody try to rob you? What you're gonna do? It's just gonna fall apart. It's not gonna really work.

I felt it's like a button. I don't know.

Daredevil was a superhero that was blind. He looked like the he looked like he had the cane that he ordered online or something like somebody ordered it online for him. Like see, I mean it's not like he can go online, seeing on TV whatever, so he has heard on TV he looked like one.

Of those canes. So he's heckling.

And then finally the comic before me is like, it's it's obviously.

You guys want us to talk to you, So what's going on? What's you guys deal? You guys? Are you guys together?

And before the woman could even speak, the blind man is like shaking his head like no, Like he's like offended that we would even ask that he's with this woman, and it's like, you blind, nobody wants your blind dick, like you're trying to be single in this in this comedy show.

Rails okay exactly.

And then the crazy thing that I was annoyed at is that it was after a PM on a Wednesday, Like if y'all not fucking what y'all she helping you across the street for nothing.

Listen, I'm not.

Holding no man's hand after a PM just because we friends.

No, she's his seeing eye.

Know their friends. They were like, we've known each other for thirty years. And I'm like, and you don't want to fuck her yet? And she's that he's been blind the whole the whole fucking Yes. I'm like, this is he's got blind man confident, like you can't even see your dick, and you are like, no, I don't want to be with her.

But you're talking about.

Stevie Wonder has been blind forever and he has like Wonder Steve, Stevie Wonder just had one of thea this was an old Jewish man with no skills. He's not Stevie One, don't mean he's not rich though, oh man, he was well. When I was talking about like broke dudes with sketches, he's like, that's my favorite shoe.

Yeah.

You're like you should have been because you can't see how.

Terrible they are. He's like, that's my favorite you. I was like, I can't deal.

What did you say because you can't see how terrible they are.

I didn't.

I didn't want to go in on him, so then I do my set he and it was like they were laughing.

It was great.

And then and then they're leaving and I try to give him a hug and he's hesitant, and I'm like, you can't see me, but you know I'm black as fucking you racist, like how are you.

Gonna be blind and race? I will mush you in the face, like, don't do this. Wait he matrixed away. He was like nah, he did.

He did, and then finally he was like and then he gave me a hook back and give you a side hug.

Oh so shady.

And then he whispers in my ear He's like, you're funny, but if you need any blind jokes, I got you. I'm like, nigga, I got all the blind jokes. I was just trying to be you know, respectful because you're old.

But then comedy show.

Oh well, first of all, they were leaving before my set, and I said, so you don't know this, but I'm black, so you gotta stay. And and the woman was like, oh, don't bring race into this. But I was like, y'all sitting down though, right, I had to use it, so y'all sit the fuck down. She said, don't bring race into it. That's all I got. Yes, literally, all I have is my black kid in my black knees. He was so I was so angry that he was just like, I can't believe you would ask that word together.

It's like, well, she's got these.

Shorts on the body language looked like she maybe she's into you. I don't know, but but he couldn't see the sun. She's like leaning in, but he can't sense that.

Listen. She had like the you know.

She had a miss in one of your senses. You should be thankful that anybody is sitting next to you. So if you're missing a sense, aren't the other senses heightened?

He don't smell that.

She put on a little ul behind her ears. No, No, she put a little Postrami on her neck. That's because he was talking about how he loves PERSHAMI because we were in a hero place. I'm like discussed it was it was too much, but this blind man we were we were going back and forth and it was fun. But I was just like, the next time I encounter a blind dude, I'm not gonna be as nice.

I'm gonna let him have it and he's gonna be somebody who like is down on his lip. Wait did the homeless dude?

I feel like we're all everyone who's listening is wondering, did he did he wrap his hands around your wrists like Ray Charles.

And he knows he's your friend?

He did it, But I was wondering. I was like, how do blind man have sex? Like does he move his dick like it's the it's a stick, Like he's just trying to touch things with They're probably really good at it, Like they probably like they can like hear when your breath changes, and they can like sense when you're into it, and they can like you know what I mean, Like they got like radar dicks yonar dick, but.

You know what kind of glasses he had on.

It's like when you have an eye appointment or like some kind of eye surgery, like those those just got.

Out of the eye doctor glasses on like the horse green.

Yeah. So it's like, dude, get you some real pair of homeless man shades.

Those are the ones that they just give give you just so you can leave the office.

Maybe he had like really bad eyes, you know what I mean, when you're blind, your eyes are just like wow, fuck.

That blind dude. I don't care.

He was being real confident and cocky and he was heckling, so I was like.

Fuck him.

Okay, Well I actually went to college with a dude that was blind and he would text me and I was like, how are you texting?

He did that.

He would talk to his phone and they would text me. And when he invited me to the movies, and I was like why would we go to the movies? And he was like can here exactly? But I was weird for me. I was like, why would why would I?

You would tap and be like you see that off? Fuck?

Never mind, never mind.

I leaning to be like, yo, Jada looks great. Yeah, and you was like he was like oh look, oh actually no, don't did you say it? Yeah? It would be terribly How are the movies with you? So?

I don't know what happened to him. He's probably rich now, or maybe it's the due that you met the other day. AnyWho, what were you an expert in this? Oh? I was an expert at living my best black life. Let me talk to you about this real quick, right quick. So I have a manager now, thank you so much. And uh, you know, she is somebody who's supposed to be helping me get work and I don't know if she's doing that yet, but she shadow manager. She loves you, thank you,

That I make.

So I'm like, well, I feel like I need to see you more. Like I feel like you need to earn this ten percent. Like I feel like we need to speak every day, Like you need to just check in, just having a good day, good morning, beautiful, Like I feel like I deserve.

She should text you late at night. You up, yeah, exactly.

I mean she only texts me at night. So I be like, SI, they got you in the office.

At midnight with Dylan. You got another job. So she she took me to lunch on Tuesday.

We went to this place called Burger and Lobster and they only serve burgers and lobster. That's it.

They got a thing else on the menu.

So we get there and I was like, well, I'm gonna see what she orders and then I'm just gonna match.

Like I'm like, I'm just gonna get what she gets.

Right, because they say that like when you go on dates, men don't like when women order like the filet when they get a salad, right, And I was like, well, let me try to but what man is eating the south Fuck you dude? Fruit?

Are you on a diet on a date? Fuck you diet? Yeah, get out of here.

So we get I get there and I'm like, I want to look nice because i want her to see that, like I'm marketable, Like I want her to see me and be like, oh, I should send Marie out for more rolls like this because she looks great.

Right.

I had on like a swede crop top, I had a skirt on.

I get there.

She got on a like an Iron Maiden T shirt and some like jagging capris.

No like she was like wait, like she was working out.

She looked real cash like super like you saw you called these sleep clothes. Looked like she had on her sleep cloth, her house clothes. She legit dude, like she was going to go. She lived male. She looked like she was getting ready to paint her apartment.

It was laundry day. It was. It was laundry day for her on a Tuesday. I was like, what, but.

She's gonna use the This is a business meeting, right, So I was like whatever, So we get we we're there and she's like She's like I always get real messy when I eat lobster.

And I was like, oh, is that why she got.

But since you got to put on a blazer or something, you manager, like, you can't just.

La, you gotta put on a I can't.

If you're my manager, I want to know that you look the part, unless you are that confident in your work that you could just show up in some Lululemon dude one piece cat suit or whatever. I feel I didn't see her shoes, but I feel like it was like a like on par with a with a crock in my mind, listen, she's gonna get you all the work. That's how confident she is. It's like, bitch, I'm gonna look like I rolled out of bed to this lobster meeting.

Listen.

So she was like, I'm getting the original. So I scrolled down to the menu and I see it's one point five pound lobster. Wow, you get fries, and you got a house salad, you get like garlic butter with it, you get in a hole.

Okay. I said, well, are you gonna get that?

I'm also gonna get that because it was the most expensive thing on the menu and you getting it, And if I'm giving you ten per cent, then technically i'm paying as well. Yeah, technically I'm paying for this lunch. I haven't paid her yet because I haven't booked anything. But that's neither here, rut nor there.

Right.

Oh my god. So they give us the little bibs, and I.

Was like, oh my god, because you always see people wearing like the lobster bibs, but I had never. Yeah, so I put my little bit on on top of my Swede shirt and I feel real dumb because she was She's dressed for the part, and she asked for two fries. She was like instead of the salad and I get another.

Order of fries. Yo, your manager is loose. I love her.

She's probably like one of those chicks that go to sports bars and like hang out and know what's going on on the screen and eat and like everybody knows her name. She sounds real, down to earth. She made it sound like she's an alcoholic. Everybody knows her now, no cheers, no, just like they know her because she comes through and they're like, she she's the cool girl that's for two orders of fries instead of a salad. I was like, You're gonna die tonight. And then I

And I was like, well, let me see where she drinking.

And she got a coke and I was like, you go die legit after this is over. And so she uh, she's she didn't get out of cocktail.

So I was like, I guess I gotta drink regular people juice.

I was like, it's too if she had gotten a glass of something, I would have got a cocktail too.

Because I'm trying to match what she at. Girl. Also, it was one thirty in the afternoon.

Listen, this is not some phonathon. You don't have to match shit. You get whatever you want.

Dude, I just got a freaking cock chair. What's wrong with you?

You should have got a little rose and yeah, but what does.

I was like, what pairs well with?

I feel like it's anything free, anything that you're not paying will pay, will pay her well with a lobster.

I just got a lemonade.

I was like, that's so regular elemonade and lobster. That lobster comes in, it's huge, right, And then they said you have to like crack the shell with this like nutcracker thing. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm watching her do it. I'm dipping my thing in the garlic butter with like my fingers.

I'm very so common.

You didn't use the fucking little fork thing. I had a know there was like a little scoop piece scoop the meat out. I used it, but it was like it's like an I know, you put it down halfway through you a fuck it.

You just go get in there sucking on claws and stuff.

And then apparently I didn't because I saw one people about it later. Apparently I didn't eat the lobster properly because I didn't suck any of the meat out of the like I didn't like suck any of the meat out.

Well, you don't suck, so anyway, speaking of not sucking, Guess.

Does not suck at all. As a person, he's so great. He's a really good friend of ours. He's an actual doing. He's a storyteller. He performs all over we He actually comes to the warm up, supports us down. If you've never been to the warm up, it's too late for you because we're not doing that.

Baby. It's Sylvan now.

So I don't know what song you're trying to say, one twelve it's it didn't sound.

Like the one this mosing your bucket.

I remember when you used to things away. Okay, Marie, bring in our guests please, I don't want to say his name wrong. Derek Tark Tarik. Yes, okay, let's wait. Let's do it one more time. Give it up for our next guest, the bald expert.

TERRK Tarik Tarik. Oh my god, let me do it.

Give it up for our our guest today. He's an actor, he's a comedian, he's a storyteller.

He's our old expert. Taric D. Daniels. Hello, ladies and gentlemen, Thank you Marie, and saying Taric.

Well, let's talk a little bit about why we can't say your name because it.

Right, it is and it is the same name, Okay, So there's many It's an Arabic name, so there's many pronunciations for it. So most people do say Tariq, which is a lot is like it's kind of like the hood pronunciation. I say because because when I meet someone who's Arabic, they say it's Taric, like it's and then I've had this and everybody in Arabic. I met this

But since my name is tark.

People have called me tar baby and just being saying my name is so it never bothered me and I never looked at it them being racist.

Listen, I'm I'm not calling you. You can whatever you want is a nickname of mine. I'm gonna call you tah. I'm gonna call you tah Trek.

Have you ever had lobster whole lobster on a shell?

Yes, I have.

When shoes like that, I know you do because it's like a sports it's a sports shoe.

Yes, it's like a sneaker shoe.

Yeah, it's like a it's a sports sneaker business shoe because it looks like you can go from like the business to like playing golf.

Good.

And also let's go let's give you like full body camp so your your calves are quite shiny. I don't wear cocona oil in the summertime because it's like it's like a like a suntan lotion.

I don't need to. You know.

You also have a gym membership because I can see your caves.

Yes, you had to New York Health and Racket Club Racket Club. Yes, well, I work for the company I work before I get a little idea to discount.

OK, do you have a family plan? Can you get like a guest or something?

I don't know we've ra to get I don't know if I can get a guess. We don't have to get married for you to get the.

I think you get your questions asking for a friend. Racket Club Wow, God, you probably the richest person that. Yeah, I'm so not and we've had a rich expert. Well, then that person's richer than me. Definitely.

I have rich friends and I have a good I have a connect, rich gym membership.

You're rich adjacent. I'm rich Ad Jason.

You're rich Ad Jason. So you know everybody? So do you meet like rich? Have you met anybody at the gym that you like hooked up with?

Or you win?

Because I look so raggedy at the gym and I'm so out of shame and everybody else because I don't have like, I don't have cute gym clothes. I wear like cheap little shorts and my T shirt and I'm just I'm concentrated. And all those people are they have money and they don't even look my way.

That's a lot.

The only person that talks to me is a black lesbian who's known me in the neighborhood. And for you, she's super sweet. I forget her name, but she's only she's super sweet, But you're.

Not because you name hey Cheryll girl. But but no, they don't.

That's what you think now. But when they in the locker room, they're like that, oh that black.

That black, God, that that black, that black when they need to holler there listening, come up.

I'm single.

My sister's gym. She'd be telling me who goes there? She's like, Anderson Cooper goes there, the wrap goes.

I'm like, well, why don't I come to the gym with you?

Because she goes to the gym at five o'clock in the morning.

Oh, that's true. Leather Jones works out there. I love Leslie Jones. That's that's too early. It's five o'clock in the morning. That means I gotta get up at four.

You also have your chest out, You got your you got your chest hairs out.

You got a little unbutton. Yeah, well it's hot, it's supposed to be fall.

I really wanted to rock a sweater in my fall boots, these new boots I got, but I would have been melted.

What the boots look like? Are they like like like shin high like a low boot.

Cue. They're like, yeah, I'm excited for fall fashion. Yeah, I like the fashion. I like a little jacket. But you're in between right now.

You got the in between, like you're ending summer getting into fall.

Is your your chest.

I feel like we thought summer was over and then it was like eighty some degrees for like, I.

Did it back into my summer closed drawer and pull out these shorts today.

He's got a little short on. It's little. It's tight too. It's good. Yeah, world up. I don't want you know, I don't. I feel a little dorky and shorts. It's not.

It's too hot. So you have on a button up shirt that looked like is J Crew and you have on a dress sneaker shoe.

So the shorts like pair.

Well with what you got and they think care will with your bald desk head.

My head is beautiful. I love it.

You don't have bumps and lumps. No, it's a good shade.

It's thanks so much.

It's very good. And turn around and look at the face the wall so I can see what the back.

That's a good head.

Yeah, that's so good. You don't look like alien or predator at all.

Beard sohm, I was told I looked like et one time.

Who would tell you slapped it out a little bit.

The coworkers were saying.

The coworker mind told me the bus boys and the little Mexican bus boys are.

Like, he looks like et. He looks like t. Mexicans got you, they got me. And I'm was like, I'm like, why would you tell me that I was younger? This is years ago? I was so offended. She's like, what you wanted me not to tell you?

I'm like, yes, do me one favorite phone.

That's my celebrity doppelganger is et Tari No.

I feel like, who do you look like? You look like a mix of mister clean Hey and like Skinny Common. Oh, I'll take that Skinny Common. That was a reach. I was gonna say, Paul.

Yeah, I've gotten when I was thinner, I got RuPaul all the time.

I could see him say and Skinny Common.

Yeah, I'll take it. I love both of them. That's what I feel like, and I like, I love Rue. I love I.

Love how RuPaul will like be super drag and then like any anytime he has an appearance, it'll just be in.

Like a suit. Yeah, because you have to pay him. He's like, I gotta get paid if I'm coming in.

Drag, which makes sense. Be spoke suit like, why aren't you in drag? You're here and you're like, because you did pay.

Me, can I about like a little like a reading glasses, like reading glass on. When he comes in a blazer, that means I'm just here to just as a friend.

I'm doing your favor.

He's like, I'm here plugging my products.

And I waited on him and he was wonderful.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then when I told him, I was like, thank you for what you've done. I'm a big fan.

And he was leaving. He was like, he's like thank you.

So he's like, you want to take a picture, and I'm like yes, because I can't ask I get fired.

But I'm like I was like, if you ask me, then I could take it. He was like, I know, honey, I know.

I never asked freaking love. Never asked, and I've never taken it. I've taken pictures with celebrities like when I'm not at work, but at work, never, no, no, never, I can totally lose my job.

Absolutely. Even if they're like, yeah, let's take a picture, I can live.

If they suggested, I'm like, we have to give the guests what they want, so let's take a picture. And that's what I did with and he suggested it and I took it.

It's only one no one time somebody wanted to take a picture with Pharrell and I wanted to so badly, and I was kind of in the picture, just dropping the drink off, and I was like, well, I was in it. That was my hand, Hey, that was me, Taric. Where are you from Oakland, California. I used to living in Oakland. I grew up there, Sydney. We talk about this every I know, Yes, another rains in southern car.

I know, I remember thinking that too, but that was their song and I was like, y'all from Oakland, Like why are they.

Talking about also in southern California and it would rain and I'd been like, he a damn life. It's a damn lie, lie God at Oakland.

Are some of that? Grandma?

Yeah, okay, so you're from Oakland. Uh, talk to us about like your your background, Like who is your mom?

Is she is she Arabic? No, not at all.

My mother and father are both My mother's from Houston, Texas, and then my father's from Chicago. They both moved to California when they were young and they were high school sweethearts, got together, you know, they broke up a little bit. Then when he was in college, I got back together, and they were together, they got married. He was smoking a joint and reading an Arabic baby name book and she saw my name and she liked it.

I feel like people, don't people be thinking too much about baby.

Names, right they do?

Like my god sister was having a baby and she and her husband Jimmy. Her name is Patricia, his name is Jimmy. They were going back and forth on names. They named the baby to hide spelled p t a h I no. So it's spelled putai no, but it's pronounced to hi.

Why you're making it difficult for them? I tell people, get something that people can pronounce.

That's why I okay, Taric, you got a lot of nerves. That's why I hate my name. I don't like my name.

I'm like, why didn't you just give me a name that people can easily pronounce?

Ill you Ta? You can call me ty, like I said, you can call me anything long as you call me.

I mean, I definitely think that names it's a big deal, but not that big of a deal. Like it's a big deal because that's what people call you, like for a long time, Like so I would talk to my mom about names because I don't like as a kid, I didn't like the name Marie, right because Marie to me is like a simple ass middle name.

Right.

So I never liked my name, and my mom was like, well, I have other names picked out for all of my kids. My brother was gonna be Nicholas.

I'm so he's Anola.

My mother is definitely a nick Nicks or Dicks. Like Nicks are like those who like, you know, like bang white women and play basketball, you know what I mean? Like that. My brother is that, except he doesn't rhymes Nick's dick.

I think Nick.

I think of a white man, though I don't know that many black Nicks.

I don't know Nicholas, any black man I know. If they don't do Nick, it's Nicholas.

No, Who's Who's the dude who killed Bobby Pristina?

Wasn't his name? Got shut up? Marie? Oh Nick?

And I knew when Nick Carter growing up, it was a black dude. And then there's Nick Carter from the Patory Boys, and he was white. And that's the only Nick that I know, the white ones, you know, more nixed dude. And then my mom said that my name was gonna be Tasiana. And I was like, I was be Toss. I'm so glad glad that you're not. You can't see me as I'm so glad you're no I can see.

But you're Marika. I know you as I like. But it's easy for your name to me Marie. People meet you like, Hi, I'm Marie. They know your name. They're not like but you know, they fucking up. They call her Maria all the time. People are married. Well, people are just assholes and they're just stupid, so everybody can't read you're stupid.

And then my mom had another name picked up for my sister, but my dad was like Lutney because he knew some girl in his neighborhood named Lutney. Oh Ludey was like my dad's first love. And that's my sister's name now.

So we'll see.

Because my mother wanted to name me Donovan, and it would have been Donovan Daniels, which I love.

Because that's how is out the door. I'm too old to change it now, but I will not.

And the reason why I'm not a Donovan because they knew a Donovan and he wanted to get with my mother and my dad didn't like him, and he was like, nah.

You're an artist.

Yeah, but Donovan Daniels sounds like a socks designer.

Donovan Daniels. I'll take it like he makes ties. I love it.

Donovan Daniels sound like it'd be like a wine or something like that.

See, I could be give me like in nineteen forty two. Well I could make it Daniels, multiple things. I can have wine. I could be your stage name should be Donnavan. Donavan Daniels.

Well, I'm not that famous yet, so I couldn't honestly feel like you could do famous at all or successful. So it's not too You're on your way. Mama was, so maybe now is the time you don't go with Donovan. Okay, so good so named me.

So your mom liked the name Donovan because some dude named Donovan.

I just like the name.

And her name is Deborah, so she was like, I wanted is Deborah Daniels. So she was like, oh, d give him a d name and Donnavan. And my dad was like Noah, that ha, he was Hayden and they got a divorce anyway, So it was like it wasn't like he probably don't give it about Donovan name.

Exactly what's her name? Tony?

Anthony? Well, and Anthony is my middle name, so ha, his his real name is Anthony.

But he name isn't your name. But your mom couldn't pick. She couldn't pick the dude that was Tony. Boooo, He's right.

He might Listen, Tony, you think, Yeah, he's very supportive. He doesn't like when I get vulgar, but he's very supportive.

Tony. How are you doing, Tony?

We try not to curse nigga, So talk to us about your hair because you're bald now and it's a good it's.

A good look for you. For you, I've come full circle with this now. But listen, I started to lose my hair at twenty and it was very upsetting. Twenty I was very young and I was just shocked because I was hereditary or yeah it is, and they always say that's how I'm this is an expert thing I'm about to drop on y'all. They always say it's on your mother's side, and that's a lie because it's like everything that is hereditary, it can come from either or every man. On my father's side and some of the

Put a curse on.

Wait, but the men on your mother's side are not hair. My grandfather has hair, my uncle, your grandfather. How old is your grandfather?

Oh, god, eighty six. He should be bald. He should be bald.

There was a little thing but he had. He didn't lose his hair. He didn't start until he was like waiting, it's a little bit. But yeah, I was twenty so I was like, and I used to get my hair cut every week and it was super cute. And then I noticed my fade was fading away, and I was devastated, Like I put that first, I started to using mascaret a darkness.

Spot I did. No, you didn't. I don't even remember whatever. It was cheap.

Maybe it was mabeling. What's the one with the with the green the green top and the pink bottoms that mabel.

One of them?

It's not went wild, right, It wasn't. It wasn't when Yeah, So I did that and then I started. I tried to pray. I was really upset.

You prayed the ball away. I prayed.

I tried rogaine. And see the thing with rogaine, it does work, and how do I know? But it takes three months and I was impatient. I was like freaking out.

You had but I was so stupid.

And then at that time it was hardly and it was like a little spot here in front and then a little bit in the back.

Well, how does rogane work. It's like a cream or like a shampoo.

They well, they now, I mean this is a while ago. Then it was just like a foam, and it was like it was a spray. Now they have a foam. I believe they have a jail, like they have creams. They have all kinds. And it does it work. It keeps the hair you have, and it doesn't so it doesn't go away. It does keep the hair you have because it doesn't regrowth. It They said it doesn't real. Some people were saying they had a little bit of regrowth. But I had my friend's uncle, he was like, he

I just couldn't. I kept doing all kinds of things.

Should have had some bio ten in your life.

I well, I didn't know, See, I didn't know.

And then and then I found this ancient Chinese remedy that was supposed to help me and ordered online.

Yes, and it came. It cost sixty dollars.

It came in the mail in this pretty pink bottle and it looked like soy sauce and it smelled like soy sauce. Oh my god, it was a sodium and it said on the on the on the ad it said an ancient Chinese herb remedy for ball this And I was at the time, I'm like, I've never seen a ball headed Chinese person that has to work.

But I've actually never seen a ball Chinese person.

Either, That's what I was thinking. But they are I feel like I have those I have now. Wow.

I mean I also had never seen a homeless Chinese person, and I saw a homeless Chinese lady this week. Me too.

See, the struggle is real.

Wait, so you paid sixty dollars for MSG. Wow that sucks.

Oh h oh, it gets worse, It gets worse.

So the worst thing I did so after that, I'm freaking out. I joined Hairclub for Men. No what's hairclub for men? Because CLI hairclob for men. You know, they have advertisement it's like your real hair. It's all this so you basically you go and it's a consultant and it's basically a two pe that is taped glue to you.

It's a lace.

Run Yeah, it's a lace. It's a weak exactly. So what I had to do was I had to grow my hair out for three months.

They matched me. It was like this.

We went to this like really like salon type thing. They have specialists to talking to you. And I was really upset. And I remember telling this stupid girl who really pissed me off. I was like, yeah, if I was older, I'm twenty years old. If I was older, if I was fifty or sixty, I could be able to deal with it.

She's like, oh my god.

Everybody says that. People who were sixty. They say, holy if I would seventy. And I was like, bitch, I'm twenty. I can't even I can't even illegally buy alcohol.

I'm in college right now. I should not be dealing with my hair loss.

Well you didn't do the like fitted cap thing yet, because you could do you could wear hats for a minute.

Well for the three months that I know, I look funny, party my hat, my hat, The hats on my head looked weird. I had to wear hats because I had to grow the hair out that I had, and I was so self conscious that I wore wraps and hats for three months until I.

You remember how they used to do those like pieces of she and it would be like a little bun.

He would like, wow, Yeah, that was like in the early two thousand Israelite. Yeah my name is Yeah, And I look like at Harlem. And I hit it for three months and then I got it was my day, and I was so excited and I went in and they fitted it on me and it was it was wonderful. My mother was the only person knew I did it. It looked so good. It looked like a little mini afro.

You have pictures. I don't because it's horrid. Wait, he's lived me.

I'm gonna tell you why tallis because it's such it's so sad. So I spent this is the dumbest thing.

Evidence. It cost me sixteen hundred dollars sixty. You were a little lace front bank dude. I could take you to anything. Yeah, Bushwick, I wouldn't want to friends yet we weren't. You were in elementary school.

They got wigs outside off flat Bush. My I think my grandmother had a wig. She could have hit you with. See.

I liked it because it was there. So with the first day it looked great. They I like the side, like the the girl did it. I looked so cute.

I came home. Did you go to the barber and get a shape up? No? I didn't. I didn't need you because the girl woman did the shape but she did it perfectly. I went home.

My mother's like, it looks great. So look I went out. I hadn't been out. I was so happy I hadn't been out.

You were like home hiding with your hats.

I was like, the way you want to take your new uh new hair, and everyone like, look at you with your little mini afroone.

I was like, yeah, I had a little pick out, like my little spray for it. And it was real hair. It was real black people hair. It was real hair. You had pubes on your head, had big well, yeah I did. God did you look like a pret Well what happened?

Okay, it's so sad, so that week that Friday look great, Saturday look, Sunday fine. Monday morning it rained. I had been picking, I had been using it. I was so happy of hair. I started balding from the piece, like this thing. I started losing my hair from the piece. Wait wait, it started to thin, like I noticed, and I'm looking at it in three days.

Well, I don't like if you get wigs or pieces or anything, you're not supposed to touch it that much.

I didn't know I was touching it every hour. I was like, also, I my head was itching, so I didn't have beesly talking about patch your weed, ladies, I didn't know about how I was like, it was itching like crazy. So I called the place. I'm like, it doesn't look like i'm looking. I'm freaking out. I was freaking ou because there's no refunds.

Oh yes, that's why, because I already know you're going to do something stupid like touch it too much.

So they were like, we can they like come in, So I go in. I'm like, it's itchy. It doesn't look as good as it it on Friday. So they took it off. I had so much dandruf. It was so Nancy my sky was so dry, they like, so then they shaved some of the hair that was underneath it. So they shaved it and I had George Jefferson like real and then they put it back on. They put the nerve. This time it did not look good. It looked like a boneless dead rat was on top of

The hairstyles was Latin, so I thought we had some like ethnic kind of you're the white guy that spoke Spanish.

Europeans. It was a tie. It was a like my name is.

No so shaved first of all, why would they not shave your hair underneath.

Before they put it on the first it gave it more because time now it was it was flatter, and it just looked horrible.

As a woman. When we when you get wigs or whatever, if your hair is if your hair is too high, your natural hair then it's gonna look lifted.

So how did it was a mini little afro? It works, Okay, I see what But then once they redid it, so I was like, they were like, you can wait. I went home. I cried and I cried. I stayed in band for like two days. I took it. They peeled your they pushed your wig back. First of all, why were you so dandrophy like?

So it was gonna just had and I never had dandriff before. It was just like my scalf was dry because it was underneath that thing.

And then they had they glued it down kind of glew was it? I have.

It? A gorilla is like a little tape. But they gave me tape. I couldn't. I could have took it off, scratched it and put it back on. No, I don't want to be in control of my lace front exactly.

Still visit Ceiling Gone Gone, Ghost Ghost Ride the whip.

Wait. So if you like it was something that you could.

Take off yourself, wash your hair and then put back on.

Well I could.

They They stressed not to really do that. It was like just in case if you need to. It was just kind of like because you wanted to live like it was your hair, but it wasn't going to be forever.

No, and it wasn't. It was only for three days when you took it off. Was it like a garbage lid? Like did you just live? What was the back?

It was like it was like a two pay It was it was a plastic It was like a plastic thing inside of it, like a pat plastic core, and then the hair was coming out of it.

It was a mess.

But what was the back was because the back was I have my own hair. You didn't need that much. So yeah, so that was tape to you had half had a half place front. Yeah, it was just it was just like you know, they make like lace front two pays for men, like I know they do. I think Steve Harvey wear's one.

He used to Yeah he did, and now he did. And I've seen I just read an article recently. They're doing this in the hood for not as much as like eight hundred to a thousand. It's less than what I paid. And they do that, they really do, yo, you know.

They well I saw the videos.

There's all these videos where these dudes like they basically they're so ball. They look terrible. They have patches or whatever, and then the guy kind of tapes the thing on and then starts shaving it into a high top.

Because that's what you could do. You could get different types of hair texture.

It's it's really cool. Like I wouldn't do that for my every day I would do that for a role, like for a part just to be in. But I'm I've accepted.

There was this Spanish dude who was getting the lace front but with like the Spanish wave, and then the barber was kind of like getting the baby hairs.

It was.

There was like baby hairs on it. I said, yo, I feel like I've seen lace front beards video. Yeah, it's a legit lace front beard. Yes, as a man, how stressed out? Well, not that like because you're gay, but like but just in general as a dude, like losing your hair a.

House, I felt like something was wrong with me because I was so young.

My father lost his hair, but he was like in his late thirties and so he it was just and I, you know, joke around him, and I was like, I'm fine because this comes from your mama side, and I got mom, I'm from this is my mama's side.

Where you were too cocky.

Yep, be too cocky about it. Yep, you should have just kept your mouth shut.

And I would dye my hair sometimes I would put like a little texturizer in there every now and then fell out. You had a less curl all that paint.

Are you like texturizer?

There was?

There was a wave texturizer I would use. It was cute too, because sometimes people be like, oh, are you are you Puerto Rican? Is your mama white? And I'm like, no, I just got my hair. I was like, it's just cute.

And then yeah, you were doing a lot. I was doing too much. I had to be humbled.

I couldn't even as as a kid growing up, I couldn't even touch my hair like that because they knew like if I touched my hair, I'll touch it too much and then it'll start falling out. You get thin, and like my aunt will hot comb my hair, and then I would touch it and get it all messed up again, and it's like, you're gonna your hair is gonna fall out.

Well, that's what it is.

If we just let our like, if we just let our hair do what it does, it grows fine.

I wish I had done that it just it grows fine.

Like I've never I would get texturized as a little kid, and I would get braized. But my mom would't let us get perms because she was like, perms are not good for your hair.

And then she was right.

She had her rolls in and she had just come back from the salon and she was like, no, you guys can't get it's not good for you. No.

And I'm like, you want a why are you hating on me?

I know you know what I mean. But my mom is when I was a little kid, she had like a nice little fro. She had like a little like a like an Aunt viv style fro, and then she uh and then my mom's hair started falling out. I mean she still has hair, but it's like super thin now because she.

Her changes that you yeah, yeah damage. And then like I was obsessed with having a Jerry crowl when I was a kid.

I want to Jerry curl. My parents are like, no, how old are you? I'm thirty nine? Oh my god, wait, thank you. That's why I told you were in elementary school. When I was doing no, I thought you were. I thought you were like twenty nine.

I need to start lying about my a you should I need to change my name and start lying about my.

Thirty nine you look outstanding. Also feel it might be the oldest person that I know, Oh my god, even if my mom was like.

You're talking the oldest person in ever in my in my place. You're the oldest on this podcast. Oh well, hair, I have that. You got to get an old expert on the podcast.

Yeah well oh wait, no, how old is also also just turned forty? Yeah?

Actually that It makes me feel so much better than my most agian friend.

But right, but he doesn't. He looks amazing.

Well, hey, black people, come on, We're good.

I mean, and I feel like And the funny thing about losing my hair was I went through a fat acne stage with break.

I was fat with acne and brains and bald. No I had hair down. I was like.

So then when I was around seventeen eighteen, I came into my own, I lost weight, I got cute. And my sister because we were talking about me being bald last night and she was like, you know, you were just coming into your own and like really feeling yourself, and I was like, I know.

It was fat.

It was the truth God giveth and taketh in the way, take geth a way he did.

The Lord was so rude to you, dude, he humbled you.

Then he humbled me because I, yeah, I wanted to. I did things like I wanted to Jerry Carl and I would play with my hair all the time. And you know, I had like a little ducktail look back.

You did it. You did it.

And I was trying to like using all this stuff and I was trying to make and I permed it. I didn't realize it was perm And my dad and my stepmother came home and they were like, what did you do to your ducktail?

And I was like nothing.

I was like Monique, that was my best friend. I'm like, she just brushed it. She washed it and brush for a really long time. And it was like it went from being you know, regular nappy hair to being straight and long and.

It was clearly and they were like, Taric, it's permed, and I'm like, no, it's not you thatta piece. Yeah, and so yeah, just that little back.

You didn't know what that you needed to be bald, like, you don't know what look you were trying to get.

Well, when I went to my mother's that weekend and I told her that story.

She was like, go get the scissors. She's like, I'm cutting it for telling me that bullshit story.

And I was like, Debbie, it took me so long to grow it out.

Wait, so the rest of your hair was like kinky cray.

I think I had a flat top at the time, and then I had my little du termed for three three or four days.

Had what were you going through? I was trying to get the jernker. I wanted a jerky. Then why didn't you do the whole head?

Was just I was just being I was practicing, you were If I had done the whole head, I would have had a conk and I would have been all straight.

And they realized, I think that was conk? What was a conk? Dude? It's like I thought that was the type.

Of remember Malcolm X. Yeah, when they straighten their hair, like I thought, James Brown, it is a perm but they called it a conk. See that's how old older expert. But if you read Malcolm XA, dude, you should know that book very well.

Marie. I have the book. See there you go. But they do mention conk and that was a.

Good that that was a good scene in the movie to where they get their perms and then the cops come in or whatever and then the.

Water the water off in the toilet. Conk that I am Malcolm X. I am Malcolm X. So wait.

I feel like that was a universe telling you, like you didn't know what to do with your hair anyway when I did that dump.

Yeah, still like you're probably like a cool twil a Cools.

I wouldn't even have thought a perm in my hair that.

Please, I can't sneak no perm. I remember one day I went to school.

My mom hated when we left the house one way and came back another way, right, So one day my mom put me in a ramper and I was like, I want to wear dress. So I went to school. I was in kindergarten and I started to cut up the romper connecting piece of the shorts because I was like, I want to wear dress. And then I was like, you know what this is dumb, So halfway up I just stopped cutting, and when I got home my mom noticed it right away.

She was like, what happened to you? Jumpsuit?

And then I think I went to school once and this white girl was painting her nail. She put an air policy to school, and I was like, I'm gonna paying my nails a recess. So I came home with like red fingers and my mom and dad beat my ass. My dad was like, you look like a hoe.

And I was like six, and I was like, I think it's pretty probably like all up and down my fingers. They made me take it off. Yeah.

My cousin tried to cut my hair when I was like, and when I tell you, she cut it terrible, like it was. It was supposed to be a bang, but it was just like you know that the doll in Rugrats, Cynthia, Cynthia. That's how she cut my fucking hair. So my aunt and my cousin her mother beat both of our asses. I said, why am I cant as? How old was she you were? She was? She was a lot older. She was so she was old enough to know she oh, she knew she was twenty eight.

She had me looking like yell like her rug rats. It was so bad. She deserved that cut. She deserved. She cut with the little scissors, the fabric scissors that you like get on.

Was that like when you're cutting it the scissors terms, yes, yes, this is it was so you know the way she cut it was all mess up, efty scissors. Yeah, you couldn't even fix it, like I just had to just pray and let it grow out. You can't get braids.

Listen.

They were like, you're gonna go to school like that? And it was pretcher day, Like next man, show us these photos, we'll pull.

My cousin cut her bangs and her mother with My cousin has gray hair, and she was like she came home and she's like, what happened to your hair? She was like, I was walking with the scissors and I tripped and then accidentally cut my name.

She lied horrible, horrible, horrible. I think.

So I feel like that's just how you teach your kids, you know back then it was for now, I'm like, don't beat You're not about smacking a baby on the mess.

Not even well like a little kid they touched.

The fire them on the hand, but getting beat with the belt when they're twelve because the mom is angry because I mean, you messed up, but it's just.

I don't My cousin got it. When she walked out, I was like, yo, she went through World War five.

Like she looked crazy, like her hair was wrapped. It was like, whoa, what did you do? Did you brush her hair out? Like what happened in there? I don't cut her hair too. It was so bad, but hey, it happened, you had it was it was the time. That's what you did. So so you do you want kids? I do? I go back and forth with one in kids, that's funny, that's that's a good question. Back on you. I go back and forth.

If I was to have, like my own biological child, I would want the mother to be there because.

Like I would want it.

Like in my fantasy if I was like married to a man and I had and I would want like we want, I'd want her to live in the same mansion. Will yeah, because I have a mother and like I would want my biological child to have a mother. Now, if I was married to a man and we wanted to adopt and there was a kid who didn't, then I would be open to just me and him raising him.

To have a son. They're raising their and that's fine for them.

So is the so who's who's Yeah, first daughter, it's the husband's and then it's his sperm and they have the sarrogant and then the son is going to be and the son is the other husband's firm and it's the same eggs.

Are you afraid the siblings?

No, it's not because I'm bald.

It's because I just I don't want my kid to be like I want a mom and be like a mother's baby, like I don't have one because.

Well the mother's that card would be addressed to both of you guys.

No, that's Father's Day. That's also, Yeah, I mean to each his own. I'm just saying for me Father's Day. I would want I would want if the mom and would need we need to be in the same building. We need to be in the same house. Then you need to live right next door. See good to raise we need to raise this child together.

That's your mama. I would want my kid to have.

See the sitcom that you're trying to you're trying to Yeah.

I need to get to write in that.

Yeah, but The crazy thing is is that the surrogate gets the money and then it's like okay, dash, but yeah, they're not involved. If she stays in her life, then she's gonna have to use the money that you when saragate is not necessarily the egg that you're using, it's just the wound that you're using.

That true, you still got to pay to rent, well, yeah you gotta rent.

See, that's not my sister, Like I wouldn't even want to call her a Sigarett's like, okay, we're having a baby together.

You Oh, so you want a friend. I want a baby's mama, Right, that's in your dreams. Definitely. No, I want to know what woman's gonna be done with that.

There are women that might be Do you have female friends that would be done well?

I have this friend who asked me to I was I was asked this year. This year. I have this girl I met at a bar years ago.

She was like, she.

Was like, oh, you're beautiful, and I'm like, so are you will make beautiful babies?

Which was my line? You said, all yeah. So she remembered this seven eight years later and she was like, do you remember me? We were at Instagram friends, and she was like, I'm she's a lesbian. She's like, I really want a baby.

I want Oh, that might be a good situation, too well.

I've heavily considered it. And she was like, you know, we could raise a child together and you know they you know, live with me, part time, live with you. And ultimately I said no, why because I'm a daniel man,

But I would be two hands on.

It would just be because she had a friend she asked before and he was like, I don't want kids. So he was like the opposite, Seah, I'm like too much like I would like, I wouldn't want to live with you. I would want especially because I love babies. I have siblings, want to want god daughter. I want to watch them grow up. I want to be a part of their I want to be what are they doing, what are they watching TV? I want to be all of that.

I think that's a lot of work, having you the other dad and mom's and then the other mom, yeah, and the other That's too many damn people in the plas.

So basically I'm just going to be a godfather. Yeah, I think so, which is fine.

Well, the good thing about the kid is that they'll have a lot of people in their life, and you know, that's a lot of finances that's hidden everybody, a lot of birthday gifts. Yeah, so actually that my work out.

I have not route out adoption either, because adoption is always a possibility.

You know, you need I know, and I don't have anything. Like I said, I'm thirty nine, so TikTok TikTok TikTok's probably not.

Clock a sticket. Yeah. But the good thing about you is that, like even though you know you want to be a parent, it's okay, you can be. Apparently it's not the same as a as a as a woman. I mean Janet was fifty Yeah, she also had like fifty hundred thousand, no million dollars.

She was a basket egg, I mean, and the dude she was with is a billion billionaire, billionaire. Plus she got her money too. But now they're not together.

And she got that five hundred thousand dollars, No, five hundred million.

He gave her five million dollars. That was the deal.

But apparently he's about Apparently he's a verbally abusive though, is why she left.

Well, he's also like, I feel like that's like in the it's.

In the culture, I'm say.

But for five hundred million dollars, I'll let you abuse me verbally a little bit here, a little bit.

Come on, now, I'll let you put your ear. Wow, you guys heard it first. Of balls on my ear, loselive mill hundred million dollars as of freaking lutely, Hey, guys, you heard it first, an unofficial expert. For five hundred million dollars, you can put your balls on Marie's vagas a much.

I'm trying to pull up a dollar less though.

Well, and Janet Jackson is worth one hundred and fifty million dollars, so in all the time that she's been working, she's accumulated that much. But then she like, I'm gonna say quadrupleed, but what's the five? What's five sing dupled?

Yeam whatever?

Not quadrupled, but she whatever. She like she tripled her network.

Yeah, she didn't even have to go on tour. Like that's crazy. I was totally She's saying that she wants to go on tour, but she's on tour right now, ladies. She just started her tour again. Yeah with the baby. Yeah, she lost weight's it's actually.

The first article that came up is Jenna Jackson breaks down in tears on stage as she resumes, I totally get it, girl, you're going through postpartum, Like, how you doing that?

That's too much on her way? Is she skinny now? Yeah? She lost all she lost most of her weight.

She got about she got about like fifty twenty pounds to be like Janet Janet, but she looks amazing.

Janet Demita, Joe Jackson, Terrek. Can we move to one something else? I have a question about the people who are attracted to you. Are they like people who have like bald fetishes or like I feel like there's a certain type of person who dates somebody who's bald I love bald heads and beards.

Yeah people, Oh good, I'm rocking it for you people. Yeah, they you generally do like it that I'm bald, Like they like it. They definitely. Because the people who don't like me, it's like like I don't do ball ahead of people.

Well, what is your type? I like everything. I'm a rainbow fucking type. I like all races.

I prefer black, I prefer us, but I'm open, Like my last two boyfriends are black. I but I'm open, but I don't because, like I was, like, I don't want to have to explain like lines from the color purple.

And absolutely not. That's why I'm back to black.

Yeah, I'm like black people. I don't want to be like, like who's Estra roll and like what's good Times? Like I want to I want what's kool Aid? Like I don't feel like is because you're too young. She's the mother of them the Jefferson Jefferson's.

From I feel like I feel like you're available as fuck.

You will take this pillar. The pillar is interested, you would take it. No, But I've gotten pickier because my last relationship and he was a great person. But I'm actually not like because it's a lot of work.

I'm happy. This is the first time in my life. I'm happy being single.

Wow, Because you gotta say coins. You live on the Lower East Side. I do not have coins. I definitely do not have coins.

But I'm just you know, I'm I wanted to you know, I'm I'm open to be It just needs to be right because when we get in a relationship, it's just a lot of work.

You gotta deal with their opinions and all this.

And I'm used to being single, and I realized that my last I'm really used to being single and being I'm kind of a loner, Like I'm social.

So what types of men are tryed to you? Are they like people?

Like? What do they look like? Isn't like young dudes? Is it old dudes? Who's attraction? Definitely?

Since I hit thirty four, it's somewhat younger. But it's it's all variations. Like every I'm I've been doing pretty well the last the attentions that I've gotten, I've been doing I've got you know what it was. I quit smoking cigarettes like a while ago, and so when I went out, when I went out to.

Smoke, I would go out to smoke and come back in.

Like now, if I don't go out as much as I used to, but when I do, like now, I'm in the club more like I'm in the bar and more I'm at the dance floor more so I'm seeing more people.

So you were saying you were missing all the dick because you were outside for years. I was you were getting dick because you were outside smoking.

So I was not getting it because I was I was wasting time outside. But I feel like I feel like European guys like me the most. Like French guys like me I get. I've gotten a lot of good European guys.

You're tall. How tall are you? I'm six to one.

You see you're tall, You're slim, you had a good head shape, your face is more strive. Cigarettes is disgusting. But we have a friend, our friend Amber was on tour in Amsterdam and she went out to smoke a cigarette and this guy was walking by and asked the first cigarette.

And now they're married. Look at that man as an artist and his art work sells for millions of dollars. Oht smoking again.

Or spent outside in Europe? Don't stan outside? Yeah, I feel like Europe is a play, especially in Paris that's like this smoking capital.

Yeah for sure. You like to smoke inside? Do you have to go out?

Do you smoke in the damn everywhere?

Yeah? That's it's freaking beautiful. I feel like, you know what this ball thing that you're doing? You are you?

I mean you're thirty nine. Now you've been bald for almost twenty years. Yeah, and you've come to terms with it. Oh yeah, So the super comfer I was, yeah, now it's fine.

Like and on most of my twenties I didn't like people joking about it and like people ask me questions about it.

It was annoying to me.

But then once I got older and like I'm of an age where being bald isn't as uncommon, because it was very uncommon then because people were like, oh, I thought you did it as a choice, and I was.

Like, fuck, you likes a choice.

I would have my hair cut everywhere, Like that's ridiculous. So now as a grown man and you know into it, like, it's fine, it's who I am. I've accepted it. I could joke about I can laugh about it.

So let's talk about the winter time. You be cold, your ears because oh, yes, so I have to have a hat. I have to have. What kind of hats you have? Scullies? I have the scullies I have. I have a few hats. And I don't look good in hats, but wintertime I will freeze. And I don't believe that you don't look good in hats.

Do you sleep in a hat? They need to be fitted. Hats like a baseball cap doesn't look good at me. I look like I look like I'm going through chemo.

My friends, my friends, it was like, you gotta get some new friends.

Yeah, that's actually an ex friend because she got in my car she started smoking crack, And so what friends?

Wait? What who just gets in your car and smokes crass? X?

Friend of mine? No? How long were y'all friends? We came, we were like teenagers, We were a teenager, we met teenagers.

We were good friends for a good five years. We were really close, and then we fell off and then we were like reconnected. I'm like, let's hang out, and we got she got in my car. She's like, don't mind me, I'm just going to smoke this.

And I was like, what is that? And I nobody smokes crack? In a car, a smoke wherever they.

Want, Tony, you mean likeead cod, Like they're not gonna do it. You smoke crack outside because it smells so bad. Yeah, but you're cracked.

Smoked it in my car? What car was it? And it was a Nissan a seven Nissan Centro. It is my first car. Well, I mean that's a car you should smoke. Well, it was only like twelve years old at the time.

The car was twelve years Oldough she was twelve years old a car, but still really more crack than that car.

And let me just yo, that's no cracknes snack. Those aren't the drugs. I'm not.

I remember I the one time that I ever cut my hair, Like I shaved the sides and I cut the top real low, and it was the middle of freaking winter, and I remember that my head was freezing because you can't go from hair to no hair, no, and it's like it's gonna be cold regardless.

But in the middle of January I did it. It was I was real dumb about it.

So what can you tell us people who are listening something about like being bald that you think most people don't know, Like what's the like, what's the what's something that you have to say about hair that you feel like people.

People don't know being a bald person. We don't want to hear about your bad hair day.

Because that makes sense.

I've had a lot of people being like really upset and I love compliment your hair. Like I'm not jet like the jealous type. Like all my friends I look when they get a haircut. I'm like, oh my god, you look so hands with your haircut, and like I'm encouraging. But when I had a friend and he was like, oh my god, I'm just having a really bad hair day, and I was.

Like, I'm bald headed, so I don't care.

But you bald like now and you are accustomed to it, but you're you bald because you lost your hair.

There's some people who are bald because.

They want to, so they don't just talk about a bad hair day.

Yeah, I can't relate to people who are bald by choice. That's just stupid to me.

It's a lifestyle choice.

That's just why you have hair, Like why like I was born this way, unless it's for a film role and you're an actor, like there's no other reason.

It's just stupid to me, just like you are are bald? Excellent? I am, I'm so happy to be here bald. Oh my god, people, Sorry, we go.

I would like to know about, like any like lotions or different products that you use for your scalp, because it looks so good like.

It doesn't thank you. No, coconut oils really helped, because I could. I use this this shaver it's called It's for it has a black man on the name of it. What is it's like for bald men. It's like bald patrol or something.

Damn it.

Sorry, I'm not that great of an expert on that one. And then I use like clinic I like clinique shaving creams olivera shaving creams or.

Shave the hair that I have. Yeah?

Absolutely? How often do you have to do that? Well, now that it's funny, now that I grow on the beard, I don't, it's not. It doesn't look as bad if I let it a little grow, So every two to three days. It used to be every other.

Day, every two to three everyday three days.

Do you like naar your scalp? Ever?

No, I do use nair, but I won't get into that. But sure, sure, we'll say, we'll say that, No.

I don't use NA.

I actually shave because it gets closer and I don't want the chemicals, so it's it works out.

Do you have to massage your scalp a lot? Do you like when people I don't massage it, but what I do I don't. I don't mind people ubbing my hand. You got to ask.

I don't like people touching me without asking everybody. Yeah, I don't like. But if they're like, can I touch you, I'm like sure. I like to put coconut when I wash my face at night. I like to condition my hair because it makes it easier to shave and you get less bombos and stuff.

So I put the coconut oil on there and on the beard, and I'm like, that's great.

Do you have any words of advice for our bald listeners out there?

No? No, no, no, no, that's not that's not Do you have any words of advice for people who are going bald?

Yeah?

Yes, I feel your pain. I know you're sensitive. I do. But please, if you have a ponytail, if you're trying to grow it and.

You're in denial, because I really want to go around the city and just tap people on the back and be like, it's kind of let go. You need to shave that because you look stupid, and it's just you're not fooling anybody.

That's how I feel about people who are balding and still have dreads exactly. She love she's bald.

Can't see that the yeah feel it though, you can feel it. When he goes to wrap his head at night, he doesn't let you think he rasters on him.

I feel he got arms. He just doesn't have eyes. I think he has an assistant. He knows somebody's telling him to pick out the horrible ass suits he wears.

It's horrible. Please don't do that. Please just you and I get your pain.

And I feel like for other people making fun of people recently, balding is very sensitive.

Don't be mean of us, get upset.

I remember when my dad was going bald, he had like a spot that was growing here. We left and we laughed, laugh. Marie is a terrible hate person. So that's what that's my god. My mom would laugh at him because my parents would make us pull out their gray hairs when we were little, because that's what that was like. Busy work, it was like just pulling my gray hairs, so we would pull you want us to pull your gray hairs out of daddy?

Well, these people was older. How did he feel that he was alright? My dad was probably like in his late thirties.

Oh yeah, but he's he's Haitian, he's got a strong heart.

Exactly. You guys, you Island niggas are very all. They really are, are very honest. I went to the line. It was they were just roasting each other. Left in this seems very uncomfortable. I was like, this is a lot. I feel like they were roasting me.

They were like, okay, well before we go, let's tell people where they can find you.

Yes, you could be my Facebook friend. Tark Daniels T A R I K. Last name Daniels d A and I E L S. I'll be your friend. I'm not even nearing my limit.

Sidney hit her limit this week. See Sidney very popular. I'm not seeing I'm the older crowd trying to leave it at four thousand. I'm about to delete some money now so.

I can have n.

So and then. Tark Daniels on Twitter, Tark seventy eight on Instagram. The year you were born seventy eight. Yeah, you don't have to take years old school. That's what old people do. They put their the name of their the number of their year they were born. Name. Just said b W nineteen something.

No, I feel like you have a number somewhere on your on your snaps.

Your email isn't city you all too. I'm gonna change my name. I'm gonna change my age eighty eight eighty eight done.

Okay, So before we go, let's go around the room and just say what hairstyle we hate more than anything in the world.

I'll start.

Any type of white person with a dreadlock pisses me off more than like racism.

Just took mine.

Freaking hate it. It's freaking awful. Did I take yours?

Yeah?

I have my others though, Okay, what else do you hate?

I really I don't like unnatural hair colors unless it's done really, really well. I don't really care for I've seen a red, I've seen a blue, I've seen pink that I do like.

But it needs to be done like, very very well, like how Rihanna does hers exactly. It needs to be like it can't be You need to be wealthy and you should be able to upkeep.

It, upkeep it. You have to upkeep it. I don't love I don't think everybody could be blonde. No, I don't think every black person looks good blonde. I don't think most white people looks like some peoples.

Puff.

Daddy's mother looks awful blinde horrible, horrible.

She looks good at the blind She needs to take those Sydney she she got. That's the perfect example. And I love Diddy. I'm sorry if he's listening, if you're listening, but tell your mama.

No, no more about Janice. He said, no, it's a not Sidney was your least favorite hairstyle? Those Betty boot banks? What the fun?

Figure out what you want to? Really? Sure do you?

Yeah? Like, do you even want to bang? If it's almost all the way to your scalp? Why do you even have the bank at all? Like that one time, and she was awful on her too.

I said, you're going through it is jay Z beating you? Why cheating? That's why you know what? Listen.

If my man is cheing me, I'm not gonna cut my banks. I'm gonna cut his dick. What about bam, Wow, that's why you're with a woman. I'm glad you're That's why I can't be glad you're a lesbian right now?

Oh my god. But and I love I just have to say that behind listen, this is subscribe.

I disrespected Beyonce on the podcast, but nobody.

Came from me. She's also a distant cousin, so we have blood relative. That's what your mom is in from Houston exactly. You're going through it in Houston, Texas.

Baby, my mama Alabama something something I don't know, I really know.

And so thank you so much for being here, Thank you for having me. We had a great time.

And you can catch us on the Unofficial Expert on Instagram. Uh and my Instagram page is just said b W And you can catch us also on Facebook. The Unofficial Expert is on Facebook. And I'm reazy r e e Z. Why come see it's live cribe like everything that we're doing. Please And if you see a ball person on the train, just pet them, rub.

Their scalps or lick their scalps like Kanye West did to Amber Road.

Yeah, and I shout out to Comedy Hype for you can get all your comedy news. Look at God, we're gonna go because I'm hungry and I smell fries. So bye, guys, thank you so much.

Bye.