“The Bad Luck Expert” with Mitra Jouhari

Forever.

Hi guys, Hey Sydney, we're here at the Unofficial Expert and it's just wonderful.

I'm so happy. Really, yeah, you got some this morning? Now, definitely, I definitely did not. Did you know. I'm just in a good can I'd be in a good movie. Bit.

I would just want to know why it's the new year, you know, Okay, but I want to know why.

You know.

Somebody laid hands on my shoulders and just said be positive, and I feel that energy.

Okay, so just be best. That's exactly the best. Yeah, I'm reclaiming that. Be best. That's great. Yeah. Wow, okay, so you're not gonna ask me how I'm doing. I'm doing great. Thank you. I knew you were going to be great, but look at you did it. I'm looking at I was going to be great. I'm looking at you and I'm like, wow, Marie is doing great. Wow, fantastic.

Okay, not a sting of makeup one, just living my best life, fresh face, just being best.

Let's see how many times you can say best, be best?

Yeah, listeners, every time you hear be best, you got to drink something.

No, no, no, every time you hear be best, Venmo me two dollars.

Best okay, okay, Venmo her one dollar and then me one. Since I said two dollars, so I can give you a dollar. You know what, Sydney, you are definitely not being best.

So how are you doing? I'm doing okay.

I've had this weird thing where I haven't been able to sleep past five thirty.

In the morning. What. Yeah, yes, it's crazy. Wait what why? I asked Alexa. I woke up today.

I was like, Alexa, what's insomnia? And she was like insomnia and she was saying what causes it? Like if you eat too much the night before, if you have anxiety, And I was like, oh, that must be it.

I must just be anxious. Really no, yeah, but like you go to sleep, you just wake up early?

No, no, no, no no, I'm going to bed at the same one thirty two am that I always go to bed, and then I'm waking up at five thirty in the morning and cannot go back to sleep. That's not enough hours. It's like four hours maybe three hours of sleep.

Well, let me tell you, your face does not show it, my friend.

Oh, thank you so much for six hours last night. So thank you so much. Oh we got to work on that. Yeah.

No, I think I'm gonna be okay.

Yeah, your body's just getting ready for you know, or the work you bought them.

No, I think I'm just anxious about like that.

Yeah, but that's that's fine. It's all the work that you're about to be putting in. It's good anxiety. Yeah, it's great.

Okay, Well, speaking about work that I'm about to be putting in this week, I was an expert at.

Acting like a rich lady. Let's do that, let's do that. I like that.

I like that well because I love looking at other people's apartments and like seeing how people live. I like seeing like how they put their furniture out, so I could be like, okay, yeah we're doing tofted leather.

Okay.

You know so I like street easy is one of my favorite websites, Like it should be my homepage. I use it every day, like I'll be looking at apartments, and I said, I set the societ Easy is a

You about to be making? Okay, let's find down now.

Absolutely one hundred percent, absolutely no wow. If I was going to be making that much money, then I would be sleeping like a babasis. So I so I went to see some apartments this week. That's how fake rich I was acting. But they were like two thousand dollars apartments.

Oh my god, I went, so when are we moving?

Well?

And that's the thing.

Too, Like my lease is not up technically until September, so I'm not moving. I just want I like house hunters, like that's HGTV is my jam when I'm at my mother's house. I love apartment and house things. So anyway, it's crazy that you've just been growing up two But you got time, you got friend, I've been up for ninety three hour street. So I went to see an apartment in it was like a one bedroom in this brownstone, and my sister was like, I fel like you're wasting

I was like, I don't know her. She was like, how long have you guys been together?

And we were like no, we just met downstairs and she was like, okay, so, but you're gay and I was like, ma'am, this apartment is ugly. And then I went to go see a loft yesterday like a beautiful but so it's this big open space one thousand square feet. It was two bathrooms for some reason, right next to each other, and there was a washerreet drier in the middle one of the bathrooms, and then the bed was lofted.

But I couldn't stand all the way up. When I went up. How much was this? It was like two thousand Find it out, girl. We got to get out of this least because I feel like we could get this right now. That's not that's not what my money is. Oh my, that's not what my money.

But you know, you know, putting positivity, I'm doing like an in person vision board. Now I'm going to see places. And my mom was like, you shouldn't be looking at apartments till October. And I was like, m you gotta start.

Now, yeah, because you want to know what you you want to have an idea, and I'm asking real quick. I'm like, how's the school district?

You know?

Is that a school? Is that a projects? I'm like, how loud are the gunshots at that? Like, I'm now, you're wasting these people time. Kids. The guy that I saw yesterday, I wasting his time.

And he was like, we have another thing opening up. I don't know, like what you're moving date with be. I was like, oh, I'm real flex I'm real flexible. He was like, we got something to open up February first. I was go ahead and email me. When that, Oh my god, I feel like you're you're prepping for a character or like a role, like this is a.

Role right now. Listen, you're running shopping.

I'm window shopping inside and looking out the window at the street.

Sis car as a broker, I will beat your ass.

I mean, somebody me today and was like, I sent you a bunch of lofts because that's all I.

Want to look at now is lofts.

I'm like, ideally I need like twelve hundred schoolre feet and They're like, okay, great, I want to be I want to be loft in my dreams.

So I feel like it's gonna come death and I'm all for it. I mean, I'm just glad I'm not a broker because I'll be like, what But I'm not telling them. I'm not like, actually, I'm just browsing. They know your first and last day. I'll google your first last thing on my phone number and my email address.

Speech, I go right off, let me see you. Just Marie Foster, I.

Mean, Marie Foston dot com is up and running. Yeah, you know, the website is updated. Sidney, what the hell were you an expert at this week?

Hmmm, I'm an expert and uh I'm gonna go to the Bahamas for my birthday. Yes, sello.

So I've just been looking at like bathing suits, h things that will make my.

Butt look good. Your butt looks good? No, no, no, no no.

See it's there's a difference between having like pants that make your butt look good, but then a bathing suit. There's only a little bit of fabric on an ass. So I'm looking at stuff that's like things that I can really thirst trap.

I'm thirst trapping Brazilian pet thung.

Like a string almost, But I need the fabric to like lift shit up and rearrange the labia like I need stuff to push things I.

Want to Sounds like you're gonna get a full covered suit, sis, a string is not gonna support the butt.

Listen.

I just want to do as much as I can to do this earth, on this earth.

To be Beth.

And I feel like I don't utilize my body enough. You know, I have it?

Why not? Like I don't have any picture I don't have any nudes in my in my phone. No, that's a lie, friend, I don't.

Maybe maybe it's a new phone, because I feel like, you know, used to like four years ago, I barely post my body or take pictures of it.

And I'm just like, what the fuck does it look like? I just took a picture of my vagina the other day to be like, is it okay?

Is it good? You got?

You took a picture of your vagina to send to somebody just or just so you could zoom in and see what's happening.

You gotta look at your body. Well, you know, sex and the City says you gotta use like a hand mirror and like look at it. Nah, sins, I was using my pixelated six since you had to put it on portrait mode. Portrait mode, Yeah, I don't have that. I don't have that.

I was just looking at it because I haven't like looked at it in a minute, like I know it's there.

You had any gray hairs down there, asking you know, because oh wow, you pluck those?

Nah, man, you know what. I'm living my best life in twenty nineteen. So if it's a great hair, it's a gray hair there, I'm being like Angela Bassett and Wakanda just all white.

Oh wow, oh wow.

But sure, okay, yeah, sure, sure, I'm sure I'm gonna be in the Bahamas with like a cane just has my shit out that one gray hair, just like sipping a cocktail, a mocktails, no, an old fashion okay, wow, yeah, like a sazarak a sidecar.

That's exactly that's what my vagina will be drinking, a dirty ass smart yeah, I see. Oh and then and then one more thing.

It's I've been writing like little notes to myself just to remind myself, like you're amazing, or you know, you were thinking that bad thought. That's a bad thought, that's not real.

Where are you writing these notes?

I'm like on paper, yeah, but like in like, do you have a book that's like dedicated to this so you can look through No, no.

No, no, wherever I am, if I'm like home, if I'm like if I have like a little napkin or something, I'm just trying to remind myself that my thoughts are not real.

Sis.

I love this, except for like when you're out and you're doing it on a napkin, people might could think you crazy.

That's fine. I want I want people to think. This is what I think you should. You should get a you should get a gratitude jar.

You should get a jar, like a pretty jar from like the Dallar store near me has like really nice ones. And then you just like put little strips of paper and write a thing whatever your whatever you're reminding yourself, write these notes and then drop them in the jar. Girl, that's real Pinterest, real blogger on in Still, I've had this jar for three years and there are three pieces of paper in it.

But I'm just saying so you can see it.

Like, and if you're feeling away at any time, just pick one up, read it, throw back in the jar or throw it away that way, like because I'm asking where you're writing, Like where you're keeping these because you're writing them. But like when you feel away and raining, it doesn't make you feel better.

You should be able to look back at what you wrote.

Tso yeah, I'm just afraid that I'm gonna open the jar and I'm read this stuff and I'm like, damn, I was thinking that, or girl, what's going on?

It's supposed to be positive stuff that I thought you were writing.

No, I am writing positive set, but I'm also writing like the bad thought that I have to remind myself it's not real.

Well, don't keep the bad stuff, keep the good stuff, put the good the positive things in there.

Well, speaking of writing, oh my god, Yes, that we have today is the writer writer of the freaking year, like every great show that I'm like, oh, I'm really into that.

She been on it.

She had a Peabody Award. Okay, Twain literature. She brought the award to the pod today. She got a little pinned.

I am. She's got a quill on the table, ink and everything.

Yes, so she's she's a writer, she's a stand up she is moving to l a.

Yes, she is our bad luck expert, though, give it up for me. Trudge your horri me, Trudge you're harry? Can I say right? Mitro Jahari mi Jhari.

I wish I was. I wish I could bring a trophy around places with me.

You should as when I when I win my Golden Glow, It's gonna be everywhere. It's going to be in the uber. I'm gonna save two seats. Somebody be like, I need a car for me and the award.

Nah, I'm just gonna have it on my home screen, you know, and then drop my phone down.

So, oh yeah, that's me mine. I'm gonna roll up, roll it up in like a yoga mat and just like carry it. But I never go to yoga. I'm like, ma'am, is that a golden Yes?

It is also about it, Jay tim Ammy.

She's working on that. He got right. That's gonna happen for for sure. Intro What does your name mean?

My first name usually translates to something like friend or yeah, like and it's it's like translates in a few different languages to some variation of friend, and then last name Jihari is something like jeweler or something like that. Friend jeweler, friend, so jeweler friend, Jacob the Jeweler.

Oh that's what you are. That's what your name, Jacob the Jeweler. I love it, Jeweler to the stars.

My middle name is Joy MJJ.

I like that, MJJ. So you're moving to l A mm hmmm. Are you excited about it?

I am. I'm like in the middle of it right now, so I'm pretty miserable. But really just like going through all my ship and like sending it to myself.

Are you moving everything? Are you selling stuff?

I'm selling stuff and just like giving stuff away.

Just give a stuff away? Would you give it away?

How come you didn't bring them back? Love seat or coffee table is waiting.

For us here if you want anything, No beautiful turtlenecks, because I know you got those, no accessories we.

Can have.

Come want and take your clothes off so we can take it right. I feel like you have vanity in your house.

I want that.

I don't have that.

I don't have that, but I want that.

I won't want you to have vanity.

My room too small?

Ah, get are you looking for lots? Like not even if there are lofts in lay.

Me and Patty got a little house, which is like very exciting.

Oh my god, pat yes, I'm here for that. Y'all got a pool? No pool? So y'all are friends and gonna be roommates. Yikes?

Well we live together now, well like on and off, like she always stays with me. Patty has been traveling for like the past year, so yeah, we've been. We've been sleeping in the same bed for months, out of the air.

Maria is the type that's like I feel like, even with dating somebody, you don't want anybody really sleeping like no.

I mean I've been sleeping in a queen's eyes bed by myself for like, I don't know, ten years. I don't want to, Like I feel like when someone else is in the bed be hot. Like I can't really sleep like the snowflake that I am, Like I sleep like a starfish.

I do not move. I sleep on my stomach, no pillow, face down pillow. It's so it's gross and I don't know support, no lumberport.

I feel like Patty's the type that might want to snuggle.

Though I'm a big snuggler. I love I love being in the same bed with somebody really friend or partner.

With the man on or the ac running, or you just.

Like a cracked window or something.

Teach your Vbory went to DC and we had to share an air mattress. And when I tell you, the dread that was on Marie's face, like I gotta sleep with.

This bitch, And I was all over the place because you.

Sidney seems like somebody like I feel like if you look at us, you would feel like I sleep in like a little ball.

And you know, Sydney sleeps wild, wild And this is the air mattress, mind you. And then didn't you pop the air mattress the air mattress.

I was taking all the cover. Marie was like, oh, we're not doing this for two more nights.

Sharing an air mattress is fuck an air mattress, solow is problematic.

Yeah, you're just like, it's just me in this bag of wind. Listen. I feel like me and will be fine in the bed, you know. So if I come visit you and.

L yeah, I would suffocate each other. If you said this would both die some mother die together. Peabody Award, you know, like that old couple on the Titanic. You guys are just okay.

That is beautiful. We're the band.

We go Yeah, what are you.

Gonna be putting down to the ship. I'll be violent on the base where he's been on a boat for an hour.

I'm somebody who has picked up someone else's kid and is like she's all like, I'm the dude just like elbow and women in the face, Like, but I'm younger than that.

So Mitra, you were you're like an expert of bad luck. Now how did this start? How did this happen?

Like I think first one was a lot in high school. I injure myself a lot, like not a lot of bad stuff. That's usually my fault. So like, for example, I'm a soccer player. I played like from five till now and kind of like Beckham and I I I usually play like forward or mid and that's like who's shooting on goal? And I one time was getting like throttled by this chick.

She kept like that sounds gay throttled.

I was getting pounded out by this.

Number nine, rattled by this chick that just kept pounding.

Pounding, pounding, and she I got really upset and I took this. I took like the angriest shot on goal that I'd ever taken. It bounced off the goal post, hit me in the face, and when I came to, I was blind in one eye.

Wait, you would right chaws and one eye?

You were Stevie was actually about me.

Wait, you hit the ball so hard that it bounced off the post. Hit you with hit you in the face.

He didn't hit the girl that you were mad at in the face in the face. You're a blind and one eye blind eye.

When I came to and one of them for two weeks, it was so scary. And so when I came to one of the parents on the sidelines, like came over and he was like, I'm a doctor. I'm a doctor, and yeah he I told him. I was like, I was crying. I was like, I can't see out of one of my eyes. And he's like, okay, well, it's either going to be an inflamed iris or detached retina. So if you have a.

Detached I just like titched when you said.

That, and he was like, if it's a detached retina, it's going to be like this forever, and so I'm just like hysterical.

I'll tell you that right the whole time he's try.

It might be a let me look look at my Google detached. So you're sobbing, sobbing, sobbing one eye.

Yeah, And then it was like a lot of testing and all that kind of stuff, and it ended up being an inflamed iris. But for like years, one of my pupils was way bigger than the other.

Oh my god. So people were like, are you high a little bit?

A little bit?

What did the eye look like? To other people?

It looked pretty much the same, except for my my like, my.

Pupil was so one black eye.

Yeah, it really it was like you couldn't really see like the other parts of it was just the iris.

So you could not see anything.

No, and then gradually it came back and then it was like a finger sort of blocking the bottom half of my eye.

And then when you phone screen and the camera clear, it's just like that.

So when you were going out, did you go out while you had that one eye not working, because you'd be in the club and you're like, well, I.

Was in high school, but but yeah, I was. I was pretty much just staying home in the dark. It was like, very sensitive.

Is that what go out? I would just use it.

I can't really death perception must have been trash. It was like were you walking into walls and stuff?

I'm sure. I just remember being so scared the whole time.

Terrified. I'm scared.

I would lean into it. I would just want all the sympathy.

I mean, I would really love if you guys could take me out, you know, because I'm like partially blind. Like since we're in third period right now, we'll text you after that. I'm like, can you just do the test for me? Because I can't really see you?

Should I mean you can. It's something no one can prove it. You can do it.

If I'm asking both of you guys, if you guys were blind and I for like life, would you do an eye patch or like a soup bang? Okay, would it be eyepatch or a leah swoop over the eye?

Would you need it? Like if you're if you're blind.

I don't know.

I feel like I gotta do something dramatic. I feel like I feel like I would do an iPad.

I would definitely do patch or not do bang because I got curly hair that looks fucked like.

I feel like he would do a swoop bag. You would just wear color contacts, you know what. I'll just wear color to the lazy, to the man. I would just get blue contact, like you know, you know, you gotta be different.

Just the sapphire eyes, amethysts, amethysts, purple, yeah, purple.

I get you some purple color content. And that was a big thing in my high school. People loved those purple contents.

But my brother had a pair I haven't, and we cried. We were laughing at him so hot. Peoplere like, your black ass. You think he thought he was Elizabeth Taylor.

There were so many girls in my eyes who were like, no, these are just my eyes. This is just the way that I look.

Well, I have them, and I got them from the beauty supply store, so they were a bootleg and they turned my eyes like bloodshot red.

So I had.

Purple eyelids, no purple eyes, and then everything around it was pink.

And they were like, you look like a labrat. What's going on? You look crazy?

Well you were, you were they were testing the product.

Yeah, I thought you're gonna see you got them from New Street.

That's crazy.

I think my brother might have got his own Canel Street. I don't know how red his eyes got, but we laughed. He got like a bunch of colors. He got like gray, he got hate, and we were like, this is terrible.

Why not you gotta you gotta try it. Don't kno get to you try it? Uh, So you got your vision back?

Got vision back.

Then.

The next one was I I was getting Uh. I was making cookies when I was in high school. As was rough for.

You are you while you were making these cookies?

I was not, which will uh? I wish I was because you'll okay. So I was getting I was holding the cookie the cookie sheet, trying to get the cookies off, and they were a little bit burnt. And I had a metal spatula and I jammed the metal spat like this actually got stuck. I jammed it into my finger the other hand. Yeah, on the other hand, so like blunt force trauma, and it I got cut open and

So you got blood on the cookies, got blood on the cookies, just not all. So I was eating the cookies and my mom came into.

The living room and she was like, uh, what's going on. It was like bleeding profusely and these cookies is cute. I was like, no, it's no big deal, it's fine. I like cut myself on this Bachelor whatever, it's fine. And I was like gushing blood and my mom was like, we have to go to the hospital. And I was like, I don't know, and it was fine. So I like got her to take me to Wendy's on the way

All the way to the bone.

I needed six stitches. I still have the scar.

It's okay. But what kind of cookies were you making? Yeah, with the chocolate chip or oat Mi chocolate chip. Yeah, I mean that's worth it.

That's worth it. Do you remember what you got from Wendy's on the way that I remember?

I got to mcflury and fries and dipped in the mcflurry yes, yes, yes, oh yeah, frosty.

Yeah.

I've been thinking about mcflury's a lot recently.

Do they still make me.

They still do an extra OREO. I've been really wanting one. I can't do dairy really right now.

None of us can. We're not really supposed to be having we're not.

And I I'm trying to just I'm trying to actually listen to my body and not force dairy into it.

Oh, you get a mentality right now.

It's because I keep fucking like shitting my pants. Okay, So this is another one one time. So there's two of them.

Many times.

That's too many times, I know. Yeah, I have no idea. And so I was walking out of this. The first time was when I was walking out of my boyfriend at the time, his place. Okay, it was like New Year's Eve twenty sixteen.

So the anniversary is upon us.

Oh, the anniversary is upon us. And I'm walking out of the place, and then like a block away from his apartment, I ship my pants and it's like freezing outside.

Wait, wow, were you on dria? Yeah? No, I have cheese pizza, Like, what's up.

I really don't remember what led to it. I just remember being like this had never happened to me before, and I was like.

I don't know, Oh, this is what happened, you needed to poop real bad. You didn't want to poop it his house because you were like, oh, he go, no, I took a dump in here.

Let me went home.

And then you know, the closer you get to your house, the more you feel it. And it must have been like right around the corner from your house.

I was half an hour walk away from my house.

Walking you get a caboo. I said it was cold.

It was cold New Year's he's in a skirt and tights or.

Like tragedy, tragedy. It was fucked.

So you know what, that's the best thing to do if you have tight because it's tight, you know it just it's in there.

It's slowly sliding down, your sliding sliding.

So I was like, okay, well I can't go back up there.

I hold on what kind of stool was it? Was it hard or was it? So you need to get some more vegetables in your life.

I mean, I've made some significant changes since. It really put a lot of stuff into perspective because the moment that happened, I was like, oh, mortality is upon me. I cannot control my body. Everything is deteriorating. I'm not in control or or.

I don't know, I might be getting into your business too much. But if you had did like anal that week, you know, direct them is not that strong.

Sadly a little loose, sadly, just diet had not been ass fucked.

So but so what do you do because I feel like I'm not getting an uper is gonna not I'm.

Not getting this New Year's Eve. You can't get it cacked.

And I was like, I gotta go home and I got to like get ready for New Year's So I this is like during the day I was leaving my boyfriend's place.

You took you pulled your pants when the sun was up.

The sun was up.

This was during the day, This was during the this is a nightmare.

It was nightmare. And so I'm like it was over by like the Graham l So I was like, okay, no Variety coffee has like an alone bathroom, Like I can be alone in a bathroom.

Okay.

So I go there crying, obviously crying because I was like I already eliminated the option to go upstairs. I'm not gonna go upstairs.

No, you can't go back to his house and be like, hey left something in the bathroom and then jump in his shower with all your clothes.

Why not how long have you guys put you guys together?

We I mean this was like that we've been together for like almost a year at this bitch. If you don't know you've been take this doodoo this well I know now I know. And then that if I if you can't go back in the house when you ship yourself, then they're not You're not meant to be a year.

It's not even about being meant to be, Like we've been banging for a year, like you know me.

I know I've I've fartied in the bed like I'm sure you've seen his kid marks.

I mean, I know reason why.

I should have accepted the morning sign that it was not not the match he had a roommate.

Listen, this is the true test on your ship on yourself. Then go back to your man's place. If he takes you open arms, y'all are meant to be?

I know that is I love. I do know what you du that's cool with me? Do in my pants? That's not my type.

No, But what if if he's like, oh my god, babe, are you okay? Let me help do you want me to do you want me to wipe from front to back?

No, No, Sydney, that's not the man for me. He gonna say that in his vows. But we're gonna be in front of all our friends and family, and he's gonna be at the Altar leg I'll take you even when you poop your pants.

Yeah're gonna be like Mari pooping her pain.

That's great, first of all, but in order for it to be for sickness or health, listen, that's the sickness in my pants.

It's a sickness.

Yeah.

So I go into variety coffee sobbing, I use dish soap like that are handsome, sorry, hands not in But like I was like, I gotta get it off the legs, like.

So, how far did it? Because everyone listening needs the vision, I.

Would say, like, uh, like upper thigh because it's tight, so like it was sitting there. It was sitting there. So I threw the tights in, the underwear away and eye I'm in this short little like you had no skirt, no, and I didn't have anything with me because I wasn't anticipating shitting myself.

So you're so the So the Labia was exposed to the elements, exposed, the absolutely exposed.

I'm crying. I called my friend. I was like walking back, and then I realized that I had forgotten my keys, and so I had to wait for my friend, for Catherine, we were living together at the time, Cohen to to let me into the place. So it was a long time. Wait.

Did you walk half an hour to your apartment? Yes? In a skirt with no draw one.

Yes, Well you're not afraid that you're going to just be spraying poop out of the skirt.

I felt like it had it was over.

Got everything out because if you because listen, if you're shooting yourself, you will. I'm as well, let let's the rest out. You know, you got wow back.

Now?

Wait, were they expensive with their Wolford because I'd be mad if they were like one hundred dollars tis. I was like, well, we're gonna have to preserve this.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, they were like they were like Walt full on, like Dwayne Reid.

Oh girl, how did they even hold the doodle? Those things left and right?

Wait, so you don't have one. It wasn't leggings. It was like legitimate stock it was it was stocking.

She had pooping on your feet.

Honey, it was it was dark.

No, no, next next door, next door, we got that's a lot. Oh my god, did you tell anybody that you pooped your pants?

I mean I told people later.

I you were like like now eighteen.

I needed I needed time to like feel okay about myself again.

But honestly, I'm looking at you in a different lay of course. I mean it happened three years ago.

Just know that. Yeah, well know that, I'm I'm I'm past it.

It made you strong because it happened again.

Yeah, it did happen again in a party city.

Oh my gosh, So you're looking for costumes.

So this one actually even worse than the stockings one, Let's get it because I had worn athletic shorts that day and gone commando and I shipped myself in party city.

What is in your diet? Friend? A lot of corn? What's up? Like? Why a fiber?

I could not I could not tell you what it was. My Well, it was my friend's bachelorette weekend and a wedding weekend. So like I had been drinking a lot of you.

Like yo, tequila makes the stomach just not Yeah.

It was so it was so dark, I mean, but great pop it was dark. No, no, the emotionally dark. It was emotionally dark to be in that space.

Okay, So you had all some athletic shorts.

What I think those I think like small joggers with like the like the high cut like on the side, and like they have like those sewn in white breasts.

Yes, it was a small jogger with a built in underwear.

Friend my friends like.

And they were tight too, And I never I never go commando, Like this is like the maybe the first.

Time you need to start traveling with an extra set of drums.

Well now now I know.

But yeah, but would the panties make a difference, like you would have shipped on everything. No, I feel like the shorts.

No, I need like a full costume change. It's built in draw like panty. But they're loose.

They're loose, they're they're not meant to be worn alone.

But right, Yeah, So so okay, first of all, what were you looking for?

I was looking for like fun bachelorette party.

It was worth Dick straws. Okay, great, got it.

And you're looking through and you had no warning or you just like you were like, oh, I feel little funny.

I like wasn't feeling great, but I was just like, I think I'm just tired. I'm traveling, and like there'd been a wedding and then back to back. There was going to be that in a bachelorette party, so you.

Know, so what I was feeling, what I were you in when? Is that? I was?

I was looking at Lais like hawaii am I remember standing by because I just was like I was like, wow, like party city smells so bad.

And I was like, oh my, oh you didn't even realize that you got to get your butt tightened.

Yes, it's fuck you gotta do.

It's not okay.

What happened?

I'm not in control?

Wait what happened? You cooped yourself? And then what happened? You walked home like squished.

I went into the single cell bathroom at the party city, locked myself in and washed my shorts in the sink.

And then did they have like a little dryer? You were like yes, and they're not, ma'am, ma'am, ma'am.

I was in there for a full like at least twenty minutes.

Oh yeah, absolutely, ma'am. Hello, are you okay? If you're not buying anything, you have to leave? Yeah?

What And I did finish the transaction because I was like, I'm not going to come back return.

To the scene.

No, imagine you buy stuff because you just like I just should in on myself and in the bathroom, so I have to buy something also. Okay, so this is because for the visual listeners, So you're watching your doodoo shorts in the sink?

Are you having to smush some of the poop down? Because not sanitary?

Friends right now?

But what else? What else?

What? What do all in that sink? You're a poopoo expert, It's what you are, expert. Yeah.

I would never want to have sex because I would be afraid that something was going on my bone was just gonna open up.

Yeah, I think I have.

I think I've got my my wife a little more figured out.

Now, Okay, it is dark and moving forward.

Okay, just before every time you leave your house, just maybe in a little zip bag, throw some clean draws in it just in case.

Yeah, you just back up.

Okay, I have another uh this uh, this is much more recent. I got a migraine for the first time. I've never had a migraine before.

They're terrible.

They're terrible, and I and I didn't know what was happening. I like, I'm really don't even get headaches very often, and I was, but it was all the stuff like look like the next day, I was like, oh, I think that's what that was. I was having, Like I was sensitive delight, I was really nauseous and like just and then I had I was going to see my friend's family took me to see that Harry Potter Broadway play. They like had an extra ticket. It was so nice. It was like it was it was great.

You're not going to drag it, okay, she said nice because when women call men nice, that means they're ugly.

They're like, well they tried, You're You're like, oh, when your friends are like and you're like, he's he's really nice, he's alive.

Yeah, nice, that means he's ugly.

I loved it because, like, for a couple of reasons, I just had like a really like major loss that week, and it was very nice to go see something very like familiar and just spend the day doing that and like a new story within like a childhood that the thing that was important.

To me, So you were just happy to be this.

Really you didn't pay, so I did not pay, and like the production value is like crazy, Like it's just it's like it's just a huge spectacle. It was really it was.

Is that show still on Broadway? M hmm, okay, I've never seen any of that many movies.

It was really fun.

Do your friends have extra tickets?

I don't like extra extra, extra tooth likes.

I'll see loose tickets.

I'll make a call like your bet so you're you're I'm having I'm on my way to see Harry Potter and I'm like in Times Square and I get out of the I take a lift because I was feeling sick and I knew that I was gonna throw up. I was like, I just know that this is going to happen. I need to find a bathroom. I feel so fucking sick. I'm running around Times Square.

Why did you just throw up? Out? It's Time Square? It was dirty. Well, everybody's always thrown up.

You'll see.

Uh.

So the only trash cans I can find like the male slot ones, so you have to like pull open and it's like at a little bucket. So I'm not going to throw up there. Then I go into like the Europa Cafe. There's a million person line. I was like, I need to and then I just ran out and I was like, oh my god. So I'm like, you know what, I'm actually just gonna get in line for the show and I'll just throw up when I get in there. I think I'm feeling okay.

You think you can wait that long?

I was like I sort of felt like I felt the panic go down a little bit and I was like, okay, let's see this moment. Just get inside the place.

We know you don't really have control of your body like that.

Well, I mean, so, you know how. So I go see my friend and six of her family members give her a hug. She's like, how are you doing. It's like, I'm really good. I'm gonna throw up. And then I threw up on the street in front of her whole family and one hundred fifty people in line for Harry Potter.

And then you just be like she's pregnant, you know now. Then you're just like wiping your face and.

I was like water, yeah, I was like And then we went for a walk and I was like, I'm really scared. I don't think they're going to let me in. And then there are two entrances, like different parts of the streets. We just got in line at the other edge.

Honestly, I feel like that in New York City people are always throwing up.

It's totally fine, it's nothing new.

Nobody like make it. There's nowhere to go.

I was like, would you not just throw up on? Like planning to throw up in the street is what I'm saying. Like I didn't want between two buildings.

She's a classy woman. Yeah she shits in her pants, but she doesn't throw up. Okay, she's not not published that. Okay, she was raised better than that.

I'm scared. I'm so scarred. I was like, I can't. I'm trying to save myself from those situations.

I feel like I've only ever thrown up sober in public. I think I was gonna say once, but I think it was twice.

Now were you hungover?

Wait?

Didn't you throw up in the train station? I threw up?

I and you cause I feel it. You feel when you're about You're like, oh no, I'm abut to throw up. You had to get off the train because like smells and I was hungover and I was on my period. That's what That's what it was. So like smells and colors and people talking with busy mess you'll have a bad period, I mean I did that day. Yeah, And I jumped off the train and I threw up in the garbage and then I was like, Oh, the train is still here, I.

Can get back on.

But the moment that I was thinking about was I think I was going to an audition or something. And I wasn't hungover and I wasn't sick. I just felt funny and I was in I was on the like in Greenwich Village or something like that, and just it was like a little construction area.

I threw up kept it moving, and.

It was like a bunch of dudes like working across the street that were just like watching me walk away. And somebody was like, that's nasty, and I was like, you're nasty.

I'm pregnant. Yeah, that's what happened.

I threw up in a cab during the day and the guy was so nice because he thought like, oh, you're just pregnant, Like it's fine.

And he threw the cab or you threw a hanging out the window in the cab. I wasn't in an uber, it was a yellow cab. But oh.

He was like, oh, you know what, just take care of yourself to get something to eat. I know you and the baby are going through a lot.

He's like, I know you're probably a single mom, and I picked you up from Harlem, so I know you're doing bad.

Wait, have you ever threw up and pooped at the same time that happened to me?

I don't think food poisoning.

I oh, I haven't had food poisoning.

I've never had it. You've had everything else at all.

No, no, no, no, I'm surprised. I have not had food poison.

What's the what's the next story?

I got? I got all the main ones. Uh oh yeah, I ship only blood at work one time.

Whoa, that's not doodoo, that's you're just dying. Yeah. Yeah.

This was when I was at Full Frontal.

Front Samantha by that show.

Yeah, okay, and I it was like the my it was the first it was we were it was the first day of work. It was the first safe work and we were going to It was like this crazy few weeks because we were filming an episode that was like taking we were filming it on a bus and then the next week we're going to the Republican National Convention. In the following week we're going to the Democratic National time.

That would blood too. So I was like.

The most stressed I'd ever been in my life. And I was like, are like a person had just left the show and so there was just like a lot of like extra work to do and picking up that slack and so everyone was just freaking the fuck out and it was all new stuff. And then I went to the bathroom and I was like I looked down and it was just blood.

And I was like, sure it wasn't beats.

If you had beats that day, Okay, because I've been there many times, You're like, am I.

Beats will turn your pee even like a little bit radio.

Just definitely.

But that morning you had done anal Yes, So that morning, oh.

Yes, I forgot.

Oh you forgot the astro glide quite dry. It happened to all of us.

Yeah, so you've had a hard time with the butt, But I feel like there is some positives, Like you've written for a lot of ships.

Yeah, you poop, but you're employed.

Yeah, yeah, my body is completely disintegrating from the inside out.

Well, I mean, if something is happening, have you gone to the doctor to figure out, like after you pooped blood?

Did you?

I did finally go to like a just a primary care doctor.

After that.

I'm really like, I'm really bad about like maintenance sis.

Me too, but all of us. You got to listen to your body.

Yeah, yeah, that wasn't enough for me to be like I should I should have like a primary care physician.

You had any shirts? You're right? Yeah, m w g A.

So I'm on that insurance, ok, Writers Guild of Where America.

So you should definitely be checking out that. But every other month.

Yeah, so things are better, Things are okay. But it was just it was just stress. They were like, if this keeps happening, you need to go to the hospital. But I think this is stress.

No, I didn't know that was a thing. I didn't know that was effective stress.

I'm stressed. I should be pooping blood. Yeah, my buddy is perfect.

What do you do for your sleep? Because I have really terrible, terrible sleep and like habits, not really sleep habits, but if I'm anxious, I I've been sleeping like four hours a night for the past few weeks because I'm about to move and I'm so worried about that, Like what do you do to let me.

Tell you what I've been drying?

This is well because when I was a kid, it would take me forever to fall asleep. Now I can't stay asleep. Yeah, so i'd like listen to music. I have you done like ASMR, Like I tried that.

Melatonin is good. I really I.

Don't take anything because I don't want to have to like depend.

On well, I'm I'm I'm really scared of pills.

I don't like melotonin.

Is melotonin?

I do you just drop?

I like melotonin because I would never do like a sleeping pill, just because I know that. Like I'm a really obsessive, like addicted person, So I.

Say, do that. So how does the It's just that you get this at the drug store.

Yeah, you can just get it at like yeah, you can just get it at a drug store like a Pole Foods or whatever.

And to take these drops and you take one or two.

You can do drops, you can do pills. I do the pills just because that's just what I buy. And hm, it's just it just like helps you. It helps me at least like get through a night. And I don't do it like every night. But if I'm like I've had like three days in a row where I just cannot fucking stay asleep, I take one.

And you gotta sleep. It's so important. I mean, what the thing that I've.

Been doing is I'll smoke some Indica before I brush my teeth and then just hope that like it makes me fall asleep.

CBD helped me a little bit too. I still prefer melotonin, but because I don't, like, I don't like to smoke. I'm not I'm not like a big weed person, but I like doing CBD because it just like I like, I like stuff that like guides you to sleep without making you do it. It just like relaxes relaxes you a little bit.

Yeah, yeah, because I'm trying, Like I what I've what I've also been doing is like I'll get in the bed with my laptop and like watch something until I fall asleep. But I don't want to. I don't like I'm trying to have like a laptop free, phone free.

Bacause that's that's like that contributes to bad sleep too.

The screens, well, I'm not I won't watch, I'll put it on and I'll listen. Yeah, Like last night I was watching Blue Planet on Netflix.

Oh and you know what. You know what helped me too is like having having something in your room that like hums all night. Like I have a I have like a humidifier.

In my Yeah the humanifier doesn't hum, but the fan does.

Yeah, that's good having having, just like or people people really love. I don't have this, but people love like white noise machines and stuff just to.

Have, Like there's a there's an app for that too, Like you'll have like rainforest sounds, like, oh yeah, I've matched it to get to it.

There's like stuff like that on Spotify, like sleep Sounds.

I was listening to the rainforest yesterday, but the birds were too loud that I can't like they were like and you're like this monkey gotta go. I mean, I don't know, but I do like the sound of the rain. And when I lived in La I missed the rain. Yeah, because like I'm because it's nice every day. Yeah, so you're like I gotta go outside, Okay.

Yeah, I'm from I'm from Ohio, so I'm like very used to like constantly changing weather. Yeah, so that'll be an adjustment.

Yeah, you know, February winter in LA. You're gonna be happy.

Happy, Absolutely, you're gonna be happy, Like we gonna be walking through the snow and you're gonna be like, look at me.

In my tank top.

But like the thing about stress is like it doesn't matter about the weather, Like if you just stress, it's just gonna happen.

So like, yeah, and you are in a lot.

Of writer's rooms, so I'm sure that is stressful as well.

Yeah, I mean I realized that, like I well, I realized first of all that I like, I mean, all this stuff I told you about definitely led to it. But like working in a at a desk all day it's so bad for your body, and just knowing that, like, oh, I like when I was like I was a job last summer that I couldn't sit for more than ten minutes at a time because my back hurts so bad.

It was you were stressed because you're like I deserve more.

Well, it's just like watching the news all the time was part of it. But also just sitting hunched over all day so fucking bad body.

Screen is not good for your eyes, not.

So just like taking the initiative to be like, Okay, my body is breaking down. I'm twenty five, I'm in agony all the time.

Yeah, that's not good.

Yeah, and just being like, oh, if I go to the gym and do like any amount of work at all and have like core strength, I will not be in pain all the time.

You think I should get a standing desk or one of those like ball things that people sit on to like force them to sit straight.

I did get one of those chairs, and then I was like, well, I'm still like weak and in pain. I could just work out and I'm not like shit vegetables.

Huh, let's talk about the diet. Do you eat out a lot? It sounds like you really like Wendy's and make flirry.

I'm really not a fast food person here, just because it's not convenient. Like if i'm if, I'm still going to be like walking to get somewhere somewhere eat something that doesn't make me feel bad. I'm not like a big, like foody person. I really am.

So what like, on a on a regular day, what would you like would you get up and have breakfast at your house?

Yeah?

I mean it depends, like if I am when I am like working on something, I like, it's hard for me to think about anything else.

You've seem very on the go, you know, like you let me grab a go girt.

Yeah, I'm really like, food is not a priority for me.

Your body is literally starving and bleeding out the butt should I.

Am like really trying to be better about it, but it's more just like something that I have to do and not something that I enjoy.

And I'm trying to eat this. Uh do you drink water?

Like?

Can we talk.

About the water? I do? I do drink water?

Looks great? Ye're not dry? Yeah, it looks hair looks healthy.

I went to Diva Curl for the first time and got Diva Curl is like this place is like Diva Sean. They're like they're they're like just for curly hair. And I've never I guess I've just never had a good haircut before. Okay, and this woman like goes they like go curl by Curl and it's just for curly hair.

And how much did a haircut cost?

Nine dollars? It varies like on their website it was like from eighty five to like one hundred and seventy five or something.

That's terrible, especially if you're not really getting haircuts like that, you got to treat yourself.

It was so nice and so worth it because it like changed the texture and like volume of my hair. Like they go to people who know what they're doing, yeah, and I never do.

Sure is a very messy bun type individual. It's like, I'm just gonna throw it up, you know, I'm just riding and whatnot. No, baby, I'm just gonna I'm gonna toss it.

Yeah, maybe throw a scrunchy, like a real yesterday, a thick white scrunchy.

Yesterday, I said, Sis, what are we doing?

I'm a scrunchy girl because I have a big, curly hair. But it's also really fine. So it's like the little the little elastics don't hold it. But I need I need something right now.

Let me see, I got a little one right now. Mitra is the type to put a pant on our hair, talking.

About like.

Side like the ones that people were in the nineties like won full House.

Those are the like the thick, yes white.

That is my my my go to scrunched fabric.

Somebody sent me on the train ones and they gave me a card and they were like it was for a curly hair salon and they're like, we specialize in curl like cutting and washing. And I was like, well this is a week sir so.

But I took the card.

I was like, oh wow, thank you. I was like, I'm not paying two hundred dollars for a haircut. But how often do you get your haircut?

I don't go very often. I go like, I mean, I'm really lazy about it.

So I think we're technically supposed to go. Somebody said like every three or four months.

Yeah, so I probably do. Like I probably get my haircut like twice a year, not very often.

You're very cash, you know, you just like we'll get there sitting. How often do you get your hair trimmed?

Right? What?

Why?

I don't know. I'm not good at taking care of my hair. I'm using throwing hats with hair on it, so I'm not really in the hat.

But the hair is like part of the hand. Hmm. I'm not really into maintaining.

But whenever I do get my hair, it's like, oh wow, I still have hair on top of my head.

I shouldn't. I don't take care it looks good.

Every time you post like the blowouts and stuff on Instagram, I'm.

Like, wow, the how they can help you.

No, but like we got to take care of ourselves and our bodies.

We deserve it.

I mean, when we get fifty, it's gonna show that we did not put.

In the time we really trying. You are, I see it?

You know this this year has been the year that I've been trying, just like going to the gym, eating better, but also just like yeah, like I'm like, oh, I want to like spend money on stuff that makes me feel nice, and.

Yeah, I feel like we're at that age now where we deserve, like and we're working.

We're all working hard like we deserve Like, oh I saw this, I like it. I'm buying it for myself.

I And there's like such a sense of shame about that, like my my my dad is an immigrant and like everything was successive.

Are you a daughter of immigrants? And that's what they make us feel like.

So like going to therapy was a big deal for me, Like I've been going to therapy this year and that is like I called my family and was like I decided it was going to be really open about going to therapy because we're not a mental health family, and like anything like that is it's like, oh wow, like you're really like liberally, I'm really American right now, and I would never tell my family if I was going to therapy. Well, and it was like everyone was like

Like did somebody touch you on the train And You're like, no, actually, you just never touched me as a child, That's what happened.

So that has been like a huge conversation. But really anything, it's like, oh, I'm getting a nice like a nice pair of pants. Why am I not getting like the cheapest version of this?

It's like, yeah, I want to conversation on the phone last night yesterday.

Listen, full price for anything is absurd to me at this moment.

But I was like, you know what, I love the.

Pants look great, they make me feel good, but looks my butt looks like powful.

Yeah, why not spend the.

Thirty nine dollars that I could have gotten for twelve dollars if I switched to TEG But whatever, you know, like I deserve to pay full price sometimes, and so we all deserve something. If you want to get a broker and look at lofts when you're not gonna get it, why not it makes you happy.

I don't have I don't have the money do it. It does make me happy.

Also, I don't have a TV, and you know HGTV is on Hulu. But I want to see these places in birds. It makes me happy.

And I'm not spending any money.

Yeah, I'm just showing up like, oh wow, Actually, Sydney, if you're busy next week and you want to come.

With a lost one, we could go. We could be a couple. It can make we can make it like a scene.

I mean, remember you hit me up the other day and you're like, let's do something not comedy related.

Let's go look at some loss. I'm down.

Actually, we're gonna have an unofficial expert meetup and it's just also on a bunch of listeners looking at loss.

Oh my god.

We're a polyamorous family and the nineteen of us.

I love it. It's so good.

But you're gonna be in LA So that doesn't mean you're going to be like eating healthier and you're gonna be hiking and stuff.

I do find myself more inclined to make healthy choices out there, just because I physically feel like you.

Have to, and also the sun is shining and you feel like the vitamin D is good for you.

Yeah, and there's just such a culture of it here. I definitely drink more here and like take worse care of myself. I'm way more inclined to be like a workaholic here than there.

I feel like in New York we are real people, but we don't take care of ourselves. And I feel like in La people are really surfaced, but they're healthy.

So it's like, so I want to figure out what the what the middle is? Where are you going to live while you're in La Echo Park? Okay, that's like that's a cool little area.

But I feel like if you were closer to the beach, like Venice or something.

Like that, it might be you might even be like a.

Little tiny bit healthier because you like you like they gonn see my collar boats today?

Okay? Are you gonna be wearing Are you gonna be wearing turtlenecks? In La?

I think I'll still dress like shit. People in La can't dress. Literally, every time I went out there, it was like super casual. It was like, just this is a meeting.

Everybody looks the same and everybody looks like shit, It's like it's very yeah, it's there's no like personality.

No, it's a lot of in l A is this? I mean everybody? Who do I see who I'm following on in LA or like dress?

Well, yes, that's for the gram, but in real life the people in LA do not know how to do.

It feels very like like yeah catalog, Yeah, it doesn't look like.

People like as wow, right there it's rough.

But I was thinking of what seal When I was a cattle I was like, what the only was a catalog?

Don't you do that? Now? Was a staple for me.

I feel like Delia's was. I mean, I got the catalog, but I don't think I've ever coming back?

Right?

What?

No?

Why for who?

Okay, I don't know who?

Are you going to shoot for? Delias? What's going on in the job?

I feel like did I just make that?

I just made it up?

The listeners, Well everybody heard it here first Delia's is coming back?

Okay, what's uh? What's next for you?

Since you uh hopefully are only going to have good luck in twenty nineteen.

I'm I I am still waiting to hear back about jobs and stuff.

But oh, you're not moving to LA four a job.

The job she is.

You're like, I know, you know, you don't want to speak. I just quick. There's no saying.

There's no paperwork, so I don't. I don't believe anything until contracts have been okay.

See this, this walking sleeps this, I mean.

Me too, Just like, do I even have a job, Yeah, y'all do don't worry every day at six o'clock in the morning, yeah, yeaheah, it's fine.

And then you're like, I'm gonna go to the gym and you're like, it's too dark outside of six am.

Yeah?

Still yeah. The sun comes up at like eight in New York.

And then goes down at two pm.

Yes, we have light for it was like, is this Alaska? Are we living in last?

Is it always like this? Why am I so much more aware of it this year?

Right?

Because the sun sets in the winter here now at literally four thirty in the afternoon, and then the sun doesn't come up until seven thirty.

I feel so stupid because I'm like, I truly am like this can't be.

How it always was, right, born and raised here and still like is this is this my first winter?

I feel that way. I'm like, wait, where have y'all been underneath the rock? I'm like, this happens all the time. You remember it.

Like the sun set yesterday it was literally three fifty eight, and I was like, it's so dark.

But you know what, as a depressed person, it don't matter if the sun is up or the fucking is down. I'm like, it's always feel like eight o'clock, nine o'clock for me. So I don't care.

So what are you gonna do? What? What are you gonna do for this year? Uh?

Well, I got my health care, so that getting that therapy, and you know, if they get those some meds in there, some sold off, I'll take that as well. You know, whatever will lift my spirits, give it to me, manifesto. If you want to crush it up, if you want to put it in a juicy juice box, I'm here for it.

Okay. Yeah, So that's that's mainly what I'm going to be working on. Health. Yeah, mental health.

But I wanted to ask, like, what do you have any advice for people who are having like bad luck, Like shit just keeps happening.

Literally, shit keeps happening to them.

And it's like, how do you maintain how do you like keep your spirits up?

And how do you like make fun what you're doing?

You went to party city and you probably waited online and them soggy as shorts for you poop?

I did uh so money, have.

A you know, have a good attitude about it. Laugh at yourself. It is fully disgusto and you gotta just lean into that. Also practical stu ups to prevent it from happening again.

Yeah, you should, like you should be this is like a cartoon or a TV show, Like you should be writing this as a show.

I think I truly feel like this year I took responsibility for all the bad stuff that was happening with my body, and I do feel a million times better. And I was like for a while, I was like, well, I mean I can't. I can't possibly change anything about my life. I am the way that I am. And then it was like, oh, I guess going to therapy and going to the gym and not eating like shit all the time actually does help.

Weird, so wen days it's not good for to ask girl is not tols. Yeah.

Also butt giggles, we're calling them beagles.

Yeah.

And then the stuff the bad luck was like spread out. But like, have you ever had a situation where like back to back to bad where he was like, damn, I can't catch a fucking break.

I feel like that happens like once a month where there's like, you know, three days where I'm just like, wow, everything is so so bad.

Yeah, And when.

They say bad things happen in threes, and I don't know, but sometimes sometimes you be looking like, oh, wow, something bad happens, so to more bad and it'll be like you swipe your metric card and you like smash into the thing. Yes, it doesn't go through in your level. That was the second Beth. And it's like it's not that bad. Yeah, it's not that serious.

Yeah.

I mean you be pooping your pants. That's pretty bad.

That's pretty bad. So but I feel like also just like letting myself feel bad instead of being like I have to I have to I have to get out of this. It's like no, I can feel sad for like an hour and then get over it.

Like are you superstitious? I'm not. Oh, okay, yeah, same.

I feel like it Also it is like the energy that you put out there. If you're thinking like bad stuff is always going to happen to you, then it's gonna come your way. So like I had like lost my wallet and then some shit had filled through, and then I was having issues with like the person that I was dating, and I was just like, oh my god, everything bad just keeps happening, and it just more shit was piling it. Yeah. Stuff also also felt like I was inviting this bad shit to happen to me.

Well.

And it's also like, on the other hand, just like not beating yourself up, like letting yourself experience the bad emotion. I feel like there's such a culture of like no, no, no, don't feel bad, just feel good instead, And it's like let yourself feel the bad emotion, but also like not being so hard on yourself.

I mean, sometimes you want to wallow in it. You want to sit in that like bunk, like oh my god, everything sucks, and then like you wake up the next day and you're like, all right, well, let me call a friend or go see a movie.

Yeah.

I feel like allowing myself to like sit home and just like lay down and not do anything and feel bad and like watch the things I need to watch and eat the stuff I need to eat to just like feel okay. And then the next day you're.

Like, maybe not eat the stuff that you beata, maybe not eat what you eat.

But I mean, yes, you know, sometimes sit in it, and I think that that's something that we feel weird or bad about, but like we should. Sitting at home by myself sometimes is my favorite thing to do. Yeah, I don't want to talk to nobody. I've been putting my phone on do not Disturb and leaving it on that and that for me is like the best part about having a phone in twenty nineteen.

It's just being like I don't want.

To talk to nobody, yeah, and like yeah, like being like, oh, yeah, it doesn't matter if I respond to this email at eight pm or if I wait till like eight am the next day.

Right, it's like me, it's going they're either way.

They're not at work, so.

I mean I wait like weeks, Like Google will like nudge me and be like did you want to respond?

You'd be like, Okay.

That nudge thing is like a disease. I hate that all right, I guess I'll do it me.

Sure. This was freaking fantastic.

I know so much more about you than I didn't know, and I'm so glad that you were so open.

About it and you definitely leaned into the shit. It was great. Can you tell us what's uh? What's going on next? Are you?

You can hit us with your Instagram? You got any shows anything you're gonna plug?

Oh?

Yeah, I mean shows we're doing. It's a guy thing, me path me, Pa, Patti Harrison, and Catherine Cohen do that. We're doing one in Chicago. I do think both shows are sold out now.

But okay, whoops, right, oops.

But that's January eighteenth for the tomorrow and ever knows festival at the Hideout, which is an amazing venue that if you live in Chicago you should support because there is some uh construction going on around it that can keep it from getting from standing.

What's your what's your Twitter? On your Instagram?

Twitter is at tweet r a j o u h A r I tweet your Johari ha ha, and then Instagram is at m I t r a j o u h a r I at mitra Jari.

Yes, please follow everything. Amazing about Mitra. We love her and then obviously follow everything that we're doing. Yes, we have an unofficial expert live life for the Brooklyn Podcast Festival.

Yes, sponsored by Pandora O.

But there. I mean, I don't know what they're going to give us. It just says, but they're on all the flyers level. That means Pandora.

Yeah are you giving is it Pandora like the jewelry or.

We're gonna give you a charm for.

We don't know, We have no idea, but we're gonna be there. We have amazing guests. It's January the eleventh at Union Hall. By all the tickets.

Well, let's tell them who the guests are. They know who the guests are. It's Matt Rogers, Yes, y'all known love from and Molly Austin, our sex date expert, who y'all are still messaging us about to be like, well she's still banging.

That dude, just flying her around.

Yes, come hear all the stories. She's gonna update you on all of her everything business.

Yeah. And then p D. Diabrew who was he was our hood expert.

Is our very first guest, our very freaking first guest, y'all, Okay, it's all full circle.

This is great.

Also, you know, review us, make sure you comment, rate or whatever.

Pile at the Patreon. We're still doing these fabulous bonus episodes.

For we are and just support our brand. It's very it's very you know, no, it's not.

It's great.

Okay, guys, be best Forever.

This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Foreverdog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.