"The Angry Expert" with Rosebud Baker

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Oh hi guys, hello in Sydney, Washington. We haven't set our names up top in a minute.

I know, I was caught off guard. I didn't know that we were recording.

I was just running my mouth about how loud it is in the studio. Okay, I could have stayed home for this, I mean we could.

We could cut that out. Now, leave that in there. Please leave it in.

Leave it until people are in the moment and they know like.

They're here with us. It's not sound proof obviously.

Hey guys, shout out to everybody who's still listening, because honestly, who are you.

We really really appreciate your support. Really, you're doing a lot for the community.

Somebody who listens to the podcast came to see me before on Monday and uh got.

Me some fries. So really, I'm just grateful for that.

Yes, anytime I'm out and you guys come see me, please feed me because a lot of y'all have come out to see me and then you just you hug me in your leave and who wants that? I mean, not enough, it's disrespectful. I mean, if you met Beyonce, wouldn't you take Beionce to lunch?

And you definitely should take her out because it's her birthday, My birthday.

September twenty third, So uh, Sydney, Planda's a prize party for me at the studio. There are bird and ernie hats. They're Sessame street hats. Yes there What are these things that.

You blow into?

It was supposed to be a little little whistle things, but obviously there's a there's no whistle city sucks.

I walked in.

It looked like you had a capri son straw and you know she's still drinking that hood juice.

No.

Yes, So we have cake and ice cream and I just want my friend the thickest for her birthday.

Thank you so much for her to get me thick.

Oh, that truly greatest gift that you can give me, trying to do it like fifteen pounds.

Just eat the whole damn cake.

You know what, eat the cake anime? Yes, and I'm gonna do what I can with my mouth. Yes, So give her presents. Venmo her, what's your vemo?

It's Marie Foston. Yes, if you know how to spell, if.

You know how to spell, if you know how to spell, I'll take your money.

If you know how to spell, Marie spelled M A R I E. Because people keep spelling it with a y oh or they spell it the right way, and they call me Mary, which we all know is a fat white lady.

Please stop.

Do we know skinny black girl's name Mary?

No?

Actually I don't.

I feel like if it's a white woman named married, she's fat, and if it's a black girl named married, she can't read. So neither of those things. So I'm skinny and I can read. So it's just Marie.

We just lost thirty listeners from that.

I don't know fat white women listen to this, and don't know illiterate people listen to this. It's a bunch of skinny gays that are well read.

Marie. It's her birthday, so please excuse her.

No, you know you was getting this, okay. Also, Also, if you see her in the subway. Please swipe her, give her a slag.

My card is unlimited for the month. It's fine.

I paid one hundred and twenty one dollars for this card. That it should not be that much. But you know, says Sis the voice. What's going on?

Oh my god, do you hear it?

It's gone.

It's around that time.

It's around that time where I lose my voice again, that bronchitis.

Thank you so much.

Time for like, you know, like a sexy birthday terenade at my party tomorrow.

I'm excited about it. Oh my god, happy birthday.

Wow, Tony Braxton sounds great.

I think you so much.

Yes, if Tony Braxton had bronchitis, if Tony Braxton had seventeen more dollars, she would sound like me, because you know she bankrupt.

Sydney. What's going on with you? You still out the brass knuckles on?

I do? Okay, I do? And we're doing sunglasses inside?

Yes, okay, I saw, I guess and she looked at me like, are you all right?

I was like, let me put my sun glasses on. You've been you've been crying.

You want to talk about it? We got some glasses on.

No, definitely not.

But what's wrong with your eyes?

Uh?

You know you just have late nights. I have allergies. You got pink eye?

Gross?

You are a grown ass women and you don't have a child.

I got glackoma and cataracts in my eyes.

You forgot your lashes? Anyone? Yes?

You know when the glue gets in the like center, you're like, no, no, that's gross.

Yes, well your hair looks great.

Thank you fix the edges because you know, when we're in Vegas staying at the.

Blank blank, I had that blank.

Dust all up and through my scalp, so I had to just get it out.

You know, you just shampoo and condition your scalp.

I could do that, but I also could be like, listen, I just need to take some of this blank remnants out of my buck.

And you're saying blank. People don't think that we stayed in the motels.

My Basically, we were doing Miami style, yo, yo, were living in Miami. I like staying in nice places when I travel, I feel like I should be somewhere cute. Yes, and uh, you know, like what if I meet somebody when I'm on a trip and I want to bring them.

Back to the room. Has that ever happened?

No?

It what if it's about.

Yeah, I've never brought anybody back to the hotel that wasn't that their card wasn't already on the hotel room anyway.

For incidental.

Yes, Listen, when you got to hotels and they asked for your card for incidental, you'd be like, actually, I.

Mean they were supposed to be taken care of all of it. Yeah, can you just put it on the card that booked through? And they're like, no, I need a car here. Oh, Sis, I ain't got it. They were like, Sis, you got me in the lobby for a minute.

For incidental. It's like, well, what you mean, nothing gonna happen, give me, give me my car back.

And you talk about your expertise first, let's okay, sure my expertise.

This week I feel like I was an expert at being patient. Yeah, which is that you know, that's not that ain't me. It's not my truth, that's not my ministry. And so last week Sydney and I went to a restaurant with somebody from Eater.

Yes, which is like, I guess a big deal.

It is to like he took us to like a restaurant that we couldn't afford so that we can then go back to the Eater studios and like record like a podcast about food.

And so we went. We got Sydney or her lobster.

It was crazy.

She didn't eat the lobster. She rude, it's so bad. Well, we told you was gonna be bad.

And then as a Haitian woman, you were like.

You're going to just wait because all this food, because lobsters, it's so much work.

It is for like.

Very little payoff, right like, and they didn't give us no garlic butter.

So he was like, they treat me better as I'm just letting you know.

They give me. They give me the sauce.

You're eating, well, you're eating imitation lobster with the swool. It's showy, is good, you know, like that that white and pink fake crab meat that people think of.

People swear its crab. It's so fucking good. It tastes like I don't know, it really.

Tastes like a diabetes and high blood prushure.

It gives me, it gives me good. I don't know, it's just it's so good for me.

No, it's bad for you. That's why your eyes look like that.

Shut up and so uh so we went back to the studio to record the podcast, and I was.

Like, Oh, it's gonna be so funny.

We're gonna have a good time blah. And I was trying to crack jokes the entire time and Sidney was.

Being so serious.

I was it was not fun for me.

I was like talking about like dicks and like pain, which but like it was stuff.

I was talking about stuff that I don't even normally talk about.

And Sidney was like the ambiyonds of the restaurant, and I was like, oh my god, this is gonna be so bad.

It's gonna be awful.

She was like the food was delicious, and I was like what, Like, oh my god, I was like, and she like gave it like a real restaurant review, which is not what they wanted, right, They wanted us to just like he's heard the podcast before. He was like, you guys, yell are rude, yell, are funny?

Just talk about food.

Yes, I'm feuedal beforehand. If it comes up, it comes up.

And Sydney was like, so by the book that I was like, I was like annoyed and I was gonna call you about it this.

Weekend, and okay, I was like, so we're just gonna handle it on the on the podcast, wait for my expertise.

You hear me talking.

Yeah, But when we were leaving, the dude was a little bit like, oh no, man, I don't know what this podcact because he didn't seem like he thought it was that funny either. And so then the episode came out and he said it was great, and he said his editor, the editor in chief, had eater left it.

That was great.

Thank you, So let's clap but everybody in the studio clapping up for Marie bitch ass for having Yeah.

Okay, Sidney, what were you an expert in this week? Hmmm? I don't know.

I'm just are you stunned? Are you flabraed?

I'm I'm struggling this week, and uh, you know, it happens, and so I sometimes forget that, Like when I'm struggling, I'm I get I make it about me, and I get like in my head and I'm not thinking about other people. And so I remember the friend is going

Three D yeah MX tiers mm hmm.

So I guess I was an expert in you know, being there.

Being good people this week. Honestly and truly, you.

Gotta be there even when you can't be there for yourself.

Sometimes it helps you get out of whatever you're fucking dealing with. Yeah, I mean, because sometimes it makes you step outside of your situation to just be like, oh, I mean, I guess it could be worse or I mean, I'm doing bad, but I'm not doing that bad, right, So then I talked to her and I was like, oh,

But I'm not that petty, like you know what I mean.

Like sometimes it makes you feel good because you can like think worse about your friends.

Absolutely, maybe that's just me my patient skills.

Speaking of skills, I guess today is somebody that I really enjoy and I think that y'all are don't like her because she tells it like it is.

Also Sydney.

She's very Maria Jason, thank you so much.

Yeah, which is why I think I like this person.

Huh.

Also she's funny, so funny she was. She went to Just for Laughs this this summer in Montreal. Big deal, big deal, same thing that Marie went to Nick Faces. And she also has a podcasts.

Two Less Lonely Girls justin Bieber based justin bieber Bays podcast that is incredible.

I haven't heard it, but if I heard great things about it, give it up for Rosebud Baker angry experts.

Okay, first of all, it's it is about Justin Bieber, but we stalk Justin Bieber. Okay, it's not like this podcast about I just need to clear that up right away.

Okay, you feel like that was the flaw in it? Listen, listen up. I will fucking defend Justin Bieber to the death.

Okay, well, defend his current look his hair, and I.

Can't you know what, I can't defend that exactly.

But here's the thing.

He has been famous since he was like eight years old. Maybe he is looking like a piece of shit so that he can blend in.

No, dude, we know the fact that you're able to stalk him. You stopped him even though he looks homeless. Yeah, that means he stands out even amongst the homeless folks.

He does.

You can't hide money, he knows, like a young kid Rock, you can't hide money.

My name is dude, Biber. I don't even I've never even heard kid Rock.

I used to watch t RL.

I literally never did Rose by your eyebrows. I know the kid.

In my life, never in my life. Okay, First of all, I didn't know I was coming on here to get roasted.

Oh, I don't know why you didn't think that you didn't know what you were coming.

Second second, I just need a little piece of butter cake to feel.

The ice cream because I don't want it to melt in this warm studio. So, uh, roast, We don't call you roast bud because you be roasting people too, I do, which I like I do.

And also you've done like roast battles here in the city.

How so a ROAs is so done with those right?

Listen a roast battle when they put two comics against each other and they have like, what is it like a minute to say as many jokes as possible.

To each other.

Yeah, you just go back and forth with jokes, just like joking about like the most horrible shit that's ever happened to you.

It's a very formal roast. It it is a very formal roast.

You sit down and you think about these jokes about something like the worst thing possible you can think of someone, you write a well crafted joke about it.

Sometimes it's not well crafted.

Sometimes it is just mean, yeah, that's the problem with those, Well that's the problem with unfunny people. But this is it's like, if you have it's not the problem. The problem is not with the roast. The problem is that not everyone is good at it. And so if you have a joke that you think is gonna crush, like, you better be positive it's gonna crush, because if it doesn't, it just comes off me.

So it has to be funnier than it is me because.

You'll be talking about people family members dying and people's mothers beating them, and people got aids when they really do have aids.

It's like crazy, they all roast each other.

You're really saying stuff that you know about the other persons really getting this information.

I don't know a lot of people. I just ask them, you know, I'll be like, what I.

Think I would tell you about my harp girl by but like you can it doesn't have to be the worship that's ever happened to them. Like I'll be like, what is it that you're comfortable with me writing jokes about.

I'll be like, none of it, nothing, none of it. I'm gonna punch you for them.

I'm a wait outside but that's why you wouldn't sign up for it.

You know, like the people that sign up for this are willing to go for it. I'm selfe.

They have asked me and Sydney to roast each other many times.

And I'm sure I said, I don't need to.

Have a negativity in my life.

We really don't.

We see each other enough. We don't need to be roasting each other. The white people we don't know. You guys can see Sidney. None of my business, you guys.

I have seen the roasts.

I know for a fact that you guys have seen certain roasts that I've done that you immediately texted me about.

I don't even like.

This is the greatest moment of my life. So I know that you can enjoy it as long as you're not doing it.

And I don't enjoy them.

Yeah, if somebody that I don't like is getting thoroughly roasted, it's beautiful. Wait, what was one of the jokes that that you I can't.

I can't if I don't remember them. If oh, I remember, I remember a couple of them. When we had the video, we were like, run that bag. We were in an overpool listening at full value can we plut this into the Yeah, it's.

So loud, so messy, Marie, It's good.

It was fun. It was a fun one.

Yeah.

But is that how you channel some of your anger? Yes, battles?

Yeah, I think for I think that was one of the ways that I realized I was so angry is I was like, Oh, it's a lot easier for me to write jokes when I'm angry about something.

Now, what does a young, well to do white woman have to be angry about?

Because you well to do.

Well, did you look like you had a racketball club membership or something like?

I really do? I really?

Do you look like you shop at I don't know rag?

Yeah, you know, it's uh, it's I don't know. I don't know what I have to be angry about.

When I really like focusing on it, I'm like, I don't have that much to be angry about. But you don't have to have something to be angry about to just be angry, Like, you could just be an angry person, which I have been since.

I was a kid.

Do you have angry parents?

My dad?

Yeah, my dad he's a he's a real mean he's a mean guy. What's he's like, okay, so he is a lawyer and my mom is like a painter, right, so I come from so he working all hard and your.

Mom and some flowers here.

My mom's a painter and my dad's a lawyer. And my dad is like, you know, he had four five daughters. He didn't know what to do.

He was just angry.

We were all supposed to be men, and he just failed miserably each time. Right, so he never created a man and that was his fault, you know. So he was angry about that, but also like he was just he was mean, but in the funniest ways, Like when I look back when I was a kid, my dad would come to these plays that I would do right, and he would he would sit in the front row and then he would fall asleep. And I remember him coming in college and falling asleep in the front row

You fell asleep. I can't believe you fell asleep? Was so dramatic.

He goes, well, maybe you know, he's like he's from Texas. He's like, well, you know, maybe if it was a better play, I wouldn't have fallen asleep. Oh my god, I just like that is you know, looking back at that, I go like, that's fucking funny, Like that's a funny thing.

Your dad would have got along with my mom because my mom went to my talent show in high school and she took off of work yea. She had like she had a trench coat on, she had sunglasses and she would not take them off. She sat in the front and I sang, oh, holy night, yes, and when I tell you Ramona Marie so and you could see the heat.

Coming off her wig, like her wig wanted to just pop off.

And then at the end of it, she's like, next time, don't have me take off a work foot is bullshit. And then I was like, you're right, You're right, You're right, and I never sang again.

Yeah.

I was like all I needed was my mom to be like, no, let me take off.

I'm not losing my hours.

I know, She's like, now you can't eat next week because we don't have money for it.

I could whole off dry ass voice.

I mean, being a parent is a pain in the ass, you know. I feel like if I wish that I had been an adult, like adult me had heard my dad say that, because I would have cracked up, you know what I mean, Because the funniest part about it was I wrote the fucking play. So I'm like, he's like, well, maybe if it was a better play, if or maybe I wouldn't have fallen asleep if it was a better play.

I'm like, I wrote, did he know that you wrote the play? Apparently not? And I was like, Dad, I was like, I wrote the play. And he goes, well, you're not fucking Shakespeare. I don't know.

That sounds fantastic, but it's hilarious, terrible, He's terrible.

But he's also like, as a comic, I'm like, that's the reason I became a comic, Like, that's my sense of humor.

You know you need it though, Sometimes you need a little bit of that. You just steer you in the direction like, hey, maybe plays ain't for me. Yes, maybe I'm not good. Maybe that's not my lane. But I do something else.

Maybe that's not my lane, that's.

Not what I should do. Yeah. My dad was, you know, he was always like, you're very funny.

You should do you should do comedy, He's like, and I was like, I'm a I'm a serious actress. Yeah, he was like, uh, all right, well nobody likes theater, That's what he said to me. He's like, nobody wants to That's why they have Mattinees, because nobody wants to waste their whole night out of theater.

Oh my god, Yes, I want to hang out with you. Can he get on the past? I know? I want him to be James Baker, James Baker, James We got some time James Baker.

It seemed like he might say the N word on the Weekend Texas he's from.

You might say, well, I'll sipping on an old fashioned.

I've never heard him say it, but you know what, I'm not gonna say.

That's how y'all do you like? Well, he's never been racist in front of not in front of me.

I can't confirmed.

Tonight whatever happens in his car.

James seems like one of those people that like when he sees like somebody who's down on their luck or like a homeless he just says thoughts and prayers.

Oh.

He is definitely one of those puts no money in the cup, definitely one of those.

Yeah, so you had that anger from a kid. Yeah.

Also, my mom's really southern, you know, so she didn't. She would never admit that she was angry. She'd always be like, no, I'm just sad, and that you to piss him off. Yeah, because it's like, don't say your fucking side, just say you're pissed.

But what are sad and angry have to do? Like they have nothing in common to me?

Like I feel like I'm quiet when i'm sad, and I'm loud when i'm angry.

Well, sometimes you're sad that you're angry. You're like, and you can't pinpoint why you're angry.

That can make you sad. You're like, what the fuck am I so mad about it?

I can't always point why I'm angry. I can't pinpoint why I'm sad anger always I can find a.

Direct source, you know what I mean?

Because if you get angry, something set you off, and it's always pretty obvious.

But no, no, no, no, I will tell you this.

When you angry about stuff, you think it's about one thing, but it's it's about something that happened like.

Two weeks ago, right, that happens too.

Sometimes it's the snowball effect that you're like layering noim.

But Here's the thing is, this is why I'm an expert at anger is because the second that I feel angry, I say it in them, like I don't have a way to be like, oh, let me just hold onto this for a second.

You know what I mean? Like I'll just say, Okay, well this is pissing me off. You nip it in the button.

Yeah, and that way, the next time I see the person, you know, their outfit won't annoy me?

That make you angry for my outfit?

Yeah?

You ever not like somebody and everything about them? You smile.

There's one guy in New York. I'm not gonna say his name. I hate the shape of his fucking head because I because so much of what he's done has pissed me off so many times that I can't even now. He'll walk in a room and I'm like, this guy with his fucking mouth, like I just can't even I can't. I can't why I can't even say that because it would give it away, But like, I just I can't,

He's one of those people that just he's one of these people that just always has something to fucking says on Facebook. Were we talking about this person earlier?

No, but that person pisses me off just because self pity is disgusting.

Okay, talk about that.

Those people like on Facebook. They'll be like, oh, I don't have any friends.

I'm just like, oh god, oh yeah, there's this guy adult.

There's a guy on Facebook, and.

He'll put like if I hit read more, yeah, and then if another page pops open, yeah, that's that you wrote too much.

You wrote too much, and I was a read more person. That too much.

I mean, you don't even read. Don't You'll make us read a lot on your status it I.

Do read said, they will just like it. She won't read the whole thing, but she'll like it. I support you. I blindly support you. It's like it's just so obvious. Yeah, oh yeah, you're.

When you get mad.

I know you so when you get met.

But like, if I get met, I'm not jumping on social media to type about it.

Like if I'm mad, I'll type about it, and so yeah, I'll just be like, you know, I won't be specific. I try not to be specific, but yeah, there's sometimes I'll just be like I can't, I can't.

Yeah, But sometimes that's the thing. People are such idiots, you know what I mean. People are such morons, especially now eighteen, people just getting dumber and dumb, just dumber and dumber.

I honestly, there's not a single person that I even if I agree with the overall, cause that this person has the way that they go about it annoys me, you.

Know what I mean.

There are people that are so fucking devoted to like one specific cause that I just go like you, I'm like, you're setting yourself up for such failure, especially now because people are so you know, they'll be like, I'm such a feminist, and I'm like, okay, but if you ever fucked up in the past, if you are without sin, then fine, but like, if you ever fucked up in the past, you are setting yourself up for some fucked up shit to happen, and everyone is gonna turn on you.

Crazy how It's like, especially in like a Hollywood and entertainment right now, the stuff that people did in like nineteen ninety two in like a basement, it's coming in light like people and.

They didn't have phones back then to document everything.

I don't want to know how people remember. How do you have the memory? I know I can't remember what happened last week.

From what I had on yesterday, and I put it on my ashy as me either. Yeah, Like it's just it's crazy to me, especially for like kids, the kids that are growing up now, they're never gonna be able to lie about anything, right because everything that they do is all of a social media it is, and it's like they're digging into People can delete tweets and then get jobs, and then they'll find them deleted tweets and be like, well you called Mexican.

Wait, you can delete tweets and people find them. Yeah, they like live somewhere Sydney's about to go on a strike.

No, I no, I'd rather I don't really delete my tweets. I know they're I can't even say retarding, but yeah.

I know that they're done.

And I live in my I lean into the dumb and I'm like, this is what it is, yeah, but I don't really say anything like that.

Racist.

That's the thing though, is like comedians right, Like comedians are now being held at this like up this standard because we're pandering to whatever side we think will agree with us.

Instead of just focusing on being fucking funny.

Yeah, but that's the thing too.

You say the word comedian and it's like, look, it's a lot of people at the level that we're at currently, and you know, levels above us that do comedy and they do it because they saw Bill Bird do it or Luisy K do it and he said the N word, so like, I'm also gonna say it. And it's like, you're not that funny, You're not that funny, You're you're not funny. You just want to jump up and say the N word in front of people to be like because the stuff that they're saying is not new, it's

On and there was a few people, there were no there were actually people who supported him like.

Oh, this is comedy.

I was like, if this is your comedy, you need to fall down all the flights of stairs.

Yeah, you know what the problem is is Louis c.

K did that joke about uh, he did a joke about the N word, and he was the first white guy that ever first of all, like went there, right.

And I'm sure it was the first well I saw the first.

Like icmic that ever was able to like make an N word like an intelligent like use the N word in a joke that was perceived to be really intelligent.

Right, it was an intelligent joke.

And then everybody that saw that went, oh, if I do that, then I might be perceived as the intelligent, you know, edgy comic. And it's like you have to be Norm MacDonald said something about this in an interview like last week where he was like yeah, yeah, but

But Colin, if you don't get a raggedy as face out myffet, like, it's crazy. The stuff that people say that they think right, is exactly that, Like, oh, I've been doing it for two years, that's that's time.

But it's like, but how do you master five minutes about yourself before you talk about the world. Right? If you can't make your own personal situations funny, how can I trust that you can talk about racism?

Right? Some people don't talk about themselves on stage, you know what I mean, they'll just talk about they don't they don't want to.

That's not what they do, which I understand. Yeah, and I.

Also think that people should be allowed to make the dumb, fucking mistakes that you make when you're trying to learn to be funny.

Yeah, but a lot of these people that are jumping on stage and they're like and then the nigger okay said like the people A lot of those people they don't do comedy for that long.

No, they don't.

That's because because it like they they're just cast off. It's like there there's a weeding out system that happens. But also they suck at it.

That's not like a mistake, Like you should know that people have been doing that for so long that why would you even go there?

Because not worth it because everyone thinks that they're the smartest and funniest person.

And then they teach themselves.

They go, oh, oh, I don't I'm not good enough to make this joke and this isn't even a joke, you know what I'm saying. There were like when I went on stage in the beginning, my chair is like I can't.

I'm like, is this.

Me?

Am I doing this with? Who's doing this with their mind? Oh? That makes me feel thin? I don't know, I just feel like, you know, there's I forget where I was going.

Oh yeah, I made some you know, the jokes I would make. I was like I was an idiot, you know. Like there's times when I walked away from stage and I'd be like, oh my god, like just feeling so ashamed of like what I said, because I was trying to make something work, you know what I mean, And I didn't know how to like formulate the thought I wasn't good enough for the joke, you know.

But those you could go back and you can go back to those jokes and fix it.

And you can fix it, but you gotta be That's why we have open mics. We gotta be allowed to just go Okay, you suck, but whatever.

Man, if you needed to try that, Like yeah, but that's one thing.

Now, Like you can't even you can't even go to an open mic with somebody without somebody like Instagram and it or like.

Take an Instagram in an open mind, be surprised. So many people, so many people, so many people.

They're like, I'm gonna go live at the mic, at the mic, at the live, go live.

Can we talk about people go live at like concerts and stuff?

Oh my god, I saw this girl. She went live. She was at a concert, had the phone up.

No one was watching the live, but it was up for so many songs, and it was like, no one wants to watch your grainy pham coverage.

Yeah, get out, get out of my life.

It's like, why are why are we going If you're around people and you're having a good time with the people, why are you going live?

You gotta show people that you're having a better time.

The only time that it's appropriate to go live is when you're walking alone down the street and you want someone to talk to and nobody wants to watch that ship either.

They haven't made that on lawn on SVU. That's a that's an episode right there.

Now he's going down the alley, yeah, and she's going live and then all of.

A sudden somebody attacked her and her followers saw the man. Just see the scrolling up. What happened? Are you okay?

Wait?

Are alleys still a thing? I feel like I've never seen alleys in New York City.

Alleys are a thing.

They're in like California.

In Boston.

Yea, where are the New York alleys?

I feel like, not that many?

And the buildings all touch.

Yeah they do. There's no room. Where is this alley?

Like people are like stealing people's shoes and like people actually.

The alley that Sarah, Jessica Parker Carrie got robbed in is it's still an alley.

And so so yes, that's the all I was thinking about. I just I've never I.

Know what you're talking about.

I'll show you or it's I'm not going to We're together and I'll go live.

You guys should go live in an alley.

So did you spend time. Can we talk about you, like as a kid, were you an angry baby?

Yeah? I was. I was an angry baby. I was. Uh.

There's pictures of me holding books that like trying to read and making a fist and like scowling.

I was constantly scowling. I don't like I needed botox by the time I was five. I had. I had fucking lines in my forehead by the time I was five years old, because I just yeah, I was just all the time. I don't remember. I remember every like what is it childhood? Like video? You know what I mean?

When your parents would so h there was recordings of me, and it's always just like my sisters, like playing in a pool and then me just sitting there just staring into space.

Baby, no, it would I'd be like ten. It's basically my tire.

You the baby or you the middle kids.

I was the oldest.

Oh damn, dude, you.

Don't want your sisters to have a good time in the pool. But that sound like an older like the first Yeah, girl, maybe my brother was the oldest, and he is and has always been the one that cared the least, like he was never mad.

My sister was the baby, and she was always Yeah. Yeah, she's still angry.

That's why she works out now she's now, she's angry and buff and that don't that, don't go, doesn't impress the me. I'm not worried about it.

Did you get into any fights as a kid? Yes, I used to.

Okay, so I threw a rock at the window of my kindergarten classroom. What yeah, I broke the window of my kindergarten classroom because oh this is embarrassing.

So I was a fat kid and baby was a fat kid. Well that's the reason to be angry. Oh yeah, oh yeah.

Kids don't know they're fat when they're babies. No, we know when you're when you're like five six, you know that you're fat.

You're a woman and you're a fat five year old. You know? Really, yes, I don't know.

The world will let you know.

Well, it depends on what kind of family you have, because some family twight.

Family from the South, they're gonna let you know if you feel like they're all fat. Oh there's I mean they are, but they'll tell you if you are because they don't expect you to be.

They'll be like, you're You're supposed to be thin, you know what I mean? And it's like, well, what about you? You've got diabetes. You know you lost your foot on Thursday. Oh my god.

You know I think we hit the fat quota. We can't say anymore on the podcast City Please.

Fat Fat about her fat? True? I was fat.

You're like, we can't say fat no more. I feel like, do you need a moment? No around the studio. We will not wait for you.

I just so you are a fat kid, and because of that you throw a rock at the window.

No. So this kid, you know how you used to like run after dude's for to get them to kiss you on the playground.

Was in kindergarten. Yeah, you were fast. So yeah, I was masturbating by the time I was like eight. Wow, that's another podcast. What did you know what you were doing? No, I didn't know what I was doing.

I was just rubbing my ship against everything in the house, doing horrible things.

Like a dog dragging your vagina cross.

Yeah, that's exactly how I get off to this day. This clip is gonna haunt you, girl.

We're gonna kick this and post this totally fine on the loop. It's totally fine, run back, run back, even.

Nothing to be a shame.

We're gonna put music behind it, and we're gonna chop it together and make it the theme to the Unofficial Express O, rubbing it on everything. Okay, So what happened to this window?

So?

Uh so this kid promised he would kiss me if I could chase him, you know what I mean. And he's like, uh, I couldn't fucking catch up to him. So he was like, if you throw this rock against the window, then I'll kiss you. But I had too much anger in me and I and I threw the rock and I broke the whole fucking window, and I got sent into the principal's office and he still never kissed me to this day. Was his name Matthew Silver And if you did just so you know, Matthew, I'll

Joe.

Can you google this guy? I'm gonna can we get a picture?

Can we post see if we can find I've actually tried to find him on Facebook, Like this motherfucker just like an Italian level of just hatred for this guy.

So Citney.

Were you ever in a fight?

Uh?

In elementary school or primary school, A lot of.

People picked on me, so I didn't really give him fights. I feel like I fought with my cousins a lot. I would get in arguments with my family. Then I would go to school and just all of the picking on.

I'm like, I'm not. I don't want to say too much. I don't want to have a problem. Yeah. Really as a I feel like children don't care. Yeah, like I would fight with anybody. My first day of school, I got into a fight.

And by fight, I mean I smashed a toy car into this kid's head because he was playing with a toy that I thought was mine.

That's beautiful. That's beautiful. I think that's great. Is it beautiful? It is?

His thing?

Was Terrence Chang?

Hey, Terrence, remember everybody's first and lastin.

I remember that.

I remember the people that wronged you.

Okay, I mean I wronged him.

But you know, Terrence graduated with like honors or whatever. How you doing?

But you know what, I don't know, check in ter That's fine, aunt.

But I remember that because my mother likes to tell me that story, like every once in a while.

She Remember when you.

Hear that, boy, you've always had that attitude, remember, and it's like shut up, like everybody in here is angry.

Yeah, dude, I mean I poured milk on all over this guy's head once.

Uh, because he said I was like big boned or something yet but you were big bone I was.

But you know what, and you know what's fucked about that? I poured milk on his head and then I had to write him the apology. Even though he called me fat, I was like, wait a second, I still to this day don't believe. I'm like, he deserved what I did.

What was his name?

Yusuf harden Boom what.

It's crazy that you remember these names.

But I will say, it's all about the reaction.

If somebody wrongs you and you react to it, then that depends on if you're going to get away with it or not.

If you would have just if I don't do anything, of course I'm gonna get away with it. That's dumb.

Yeah, but it's how you do it, because, yeah, if you're trying to get back at somebody and you want to get away with it, you got to be smart about how you do it.

See that was My problem for a long time is I didn't know. I had no timing, you know what I mean.

I would do it immediately whenever second it pissed me off.

It was just like I was. It was, and people were like Jesus Christ. That escalated quickly, Sidney, I'm.

Sure you've done something mean to somebody that you don't want to tell us me.

Yeah, what's the meanest?

You never like cut the back of somebody's hair, or like laid fun of somebody behind their back.

Like come on, somebody's I mean, no, I don't remember.

I've told this story so many times. I got I got pregnant.

Oh my god. I had two men at the same damn time.

Two men, and one of them gave me money for you know what, and I took that money and bought an iPad and then did what I had to do.

Sorry, thank you. Wow, you can't you can't let me live, I said, iPad.

I'm like, dude, that's too current. Like that means it happened recently.

It was a nano and it was like, wow, Sis, and then you do. I did what I had to do on my mother's insurance, and then she found out. She's like what is this anesthesiologist?

I was like, no, Sydney. I mean, that story is hilarious whether you shared it again. But I meant like, what's the meanest thing you ever done with somebody? Is the meaning to tell somebody you are the father and you're not, and.

Then you just put ninety songs on a shuffle.

Every time my plate and someone I was like, that sounds like me not having a baby.

You know what, that's not mean, That's just.

Wow.

I can't believe I said that. Yeah, so what song?

What song do you think about? When you do you tie to that memory?

It was usher Okay.

Now, whenever I hear that last my homies, whenever I hear that song, whenever you hear that song, I want you to think of Sydney not having a baby.

Sydney's not pregnant.

God.

Yeah, Like I feel like me being angry. I always like, try to count to ten.

Does that work?

That doesn't mean does it work?

You know what? The only thing that works is yelling. That's the only thing that works when you need to get your anger.

I'm so angry that I'm stop myself and then just start counting.

That's a tactic you can't.

You can't be that angry if you're count right, if you think to count, you're not angry.

I can't do that and I'm just counting back.

I think it's just like working in the hospitality for so long the industry, like you can't always pop off, especially if like you're making a lot of money and my bills is dependent on it. It's a lot of times where you gotta hold your tongue and you better count, and you better take a shot of patron and then you go curse that mother.

Look, see, this is why they sign that check after they give you that percent.

You know what, let me tell you how I feel and then they have American Express and they cancel everything.

So, yeah, that has happened, yeah to you. Yes I have.

I've definitely waited for everything to be signed off, and right before they leave, I let them know how I really feel, and they'll call in and cancel the charge.

Oh and they won't even be like, oh the food was bad.

They'll be like, I didn't have a good time there, and American Express will will say sure, okay, and we'll.

Take it off. That's why American Express is the best credit card to have.

Yeah, but a lot of places don't take MX because they know that they like cost the most or something for like businesses.

Yea to have it, but good to know, Yes you should.

When I get some money, oh, my ex and a credit card.

My ex, he would go to night clubs, buy bottles, leave without signing, and then call American Express the next day.

Y'all.

I wasn't there, that was not me. Cancel that please, and the American Express would be like, okay, yeah, but how many times can you do that BEFOREX is like.

Yours.

We were at the club and we saw you get several bottles with flares. Well, he was so short you couldn't see him on the damn y But he's not bringing the bottles.

It's the women are bringing. You're bringing the bottles, right, That's crazy.

It's so funny.

But yeah, being in hospitality and just serving people for so long, you have to you have to hold your tongue.

That's why I'm not the anger management. I don't manage it. Are you angry in relationship to ships?

No?

Orships?

No, it's weird in my relationships and like personal relationships, I don't. I don't really get angry at the at the men that I'm with, I don't. I will call up a girlfriend and be like this motherfucker, oh uh needs needs something like like I'll just be like they're retarded.

I can't, I can't be with this person.

But what happens when you when you can't do that? We happened?

Sorry if you're and you heard that joke?

Fat what happens when you're like you blow up?

Have you ever blown up when a dude and you just feel like if it like, I just don't, we don't need to.

Be Yeah, there's been a couple of relationships that were dark, you know what I mean.

There's been a few of those like oh god, I'm trying to think. There was a dude that I was with.

That I he but he was really the abusive one.

So it was kind of like, you know what I mean, truth, he kind of dreve he can't.

He kind of drove me to that point where I was like I'd be like, Okay, well, i I'm like moving, you know what i mean. And then I'd be like packing up my ship leaving the house that I was fucking paying for what you know what I'm saying, Like I would be paying the rent he was just like staying there.

He was a fucking alcoholic, you know. And I'd be walking out the door and he'd be like, you're a fucking slut.

And then I'd come back in and I just like throw start throwing ship at him, you know, and then.

You started unpacking your stuff. You're like, well, if you're gonna call me a sled, I'm staying now.

No, not even I was like, I just wanted to come back because he called me a sled to throw shit at him, and then and then I walked out, you know what I mean.

So there were times when I.

Was never thrown anything at a man.

I feel like I see that in like movies and music videos all the time, But I've never thrown if you get mad at late or a glass of wine, no, nothing like that in a man's face. No.

Oh, I used to.

I threw a glass of wine once love him top. This was this, Yeah, I was very drunk. This was at my dad's wedding.

Wow, at a wedding, at James wedding, at my dad's wedding. That's wow. Rude.

Yeah.

You know what's really disrespectful is I thought that I'd thrown it at my sister.

And then I found us years later.

I was like, I was like, I don't know why this sister's being such a bitch to me, Like I you know what I mean, Like I didn't even I did nothing to her. And my other sister was like, you threw a glass of wine at her head at dad's wedding, and I was like.

I thought that was you.

So I didn't even know who i'd thrown it at. I was just going off.

But what is that's okay for that to happen. It's just always that's.

Really not okay for that.

It's not okay for that to happen.

How many times has your dad been married?

Yeah? Just my mom and the and the other woman, the woman who's wedding you ruined? Oh god, okay, but you've been you've been with your man for how long? Five years? Five years? What's the worst fight you've had? Worst fight we've ever had? Uh? So I had to I had to leave town for a little while. I came back. The house was dirty, and I was like, listen, I love you, and I was like trying so hard to keep it together. How long are you going for

Man, you put one thing down and it's like fifty thousand things.

You should have had him give you a card for incidental.

I mean, I for real.

I was like, this is I came home and I was like, this looks like we're nineteen, you know what I mean?

Like, this looks like the apartment of a nineteen your frat house.

Yeah, And I was like, I just like texted and I was like, I just need you to know that I really need the place to be clean. I just wanted to look like we're in our thirties. That's all I asked, you know. And I think, which is not crazy, which is not crazy.

Which is something that it should look like if you're in your thirties.

Yeah, but you know, like men and they So he called me that and he was like, oh, this is like all you ever do is like tell me I'm not doing shit, tell me you're always trying to fucking nag me.

And I was like, it's like, my house is dirty. I literally was.

Like, my house looks like shit. I'm not blind, Like I can't.

I'm not gonna go back on this and be like, oh, maybe I'm being unreasonable, like this is a fucking basic thing that I'm asking for. And I was like, and if you need somebody who is going to need less from you, please go out and fucking find them, Like I was like, please, you.

Sound triggered right now.

No to day to this day, I'm like, I cannot fucking stand up when dudes are like, oh, yeah, you ask this so much, and I'm like, I'm not asking for so much.

This is basic level, entry level.

Yes, so you live here too, you should.

You don't want spider webs exactly, face when you wake up at a.

Certain point you go, do you respect yourself? Like what?

Also I'm saying no, it's a man.

But also like not all men are like that, you know what I mean? Like some men like they they won't even ever see a mess. They're just like stepping over like beer cans, and they got like a hoarder house and they're like, this is just the way my house looks like they don't see it.

But they don't see it, And I'm like that is crazy.

It makes me insane, Like when I come home to a dirty house, I'm I lose it O C D. No.

I feel like everything that you're saying people who are like clean clean, you o c D.

Yeah, I'm like, you haven't.

I When people say you have OCD, it sounds like a compliment to me. That's it's like, yes, absolutely, I'm a clean person. I like ship to be organized.

I don't.

I don't want I'm holding on by a fucking thread. I just want my apartment to look nice.

Yeah, you know what I mean. Low key, I feel like i'm OCD.

I like things to be clean, yes, like my kitchen to be clean, and like my bathroom to be clean.

And you're not eating in my bed like that. That's grow crumbs.

That that used to kill me when I was staying with my ex.

Crumbs all the time.

But whose crumbs your crumbs?

See, we couldn't figure out who.

It was community crumbs because you're talking and I'm like sitting, they were probably your.

Crumb No I anymore.

But when you were with your we're trying to.

Dust.

But yeah, I mean you've been in a relationship for so long, and you have friendship for so long, you definitely have to hold back your anger.

You definitely have to. No, you don't.

When I'm in a relationship for a long time, I can be as me as I want to be.

Yeah, you don't have to hold back your anger like you don't. You Also, you can have your anger without like being your anger, you know what I mean.

Like you can you can tell somebody like come through, you know what I mean.

You can tell somebody like, look, I'm I'm so mad right now that I can't find the words for how much I hate you and just like say that in a in a s you know what I mean.

But that's a real lifetime movie of you.

Loo, I can't explain. I can't. It's beyond the reach of words how much you annoy me right now? Like that's you know what I mean.

If you're talking to somebody who's not as angry as you, that'll go fine. If you're talking to somebody who's also angry, that's not gonna go. Well yeah, somebody who's all you're gonna do is bump hi.

Yeah. Yeah.

So then you have to be the person that's like, uh, that sees things.

For for what they actually are. And here's you need a rational person in an argument. Yeah.

And here's the thing is, I don't find myself getting angry unless it's about something rational and that's like the benefit of I think my anger.

Die for you.

I don't. Well, I don't like everything you met about is rational. You're right, I'm wrong. Well, Like, here's the thing, is like if it's not like my sister.

Texted me the other the other day that she was going out to dinner with my friend, right, and I was like, that's my fucking friend, you know what I mean?

Like I immediately got so mad.

And then I was like, hold on, Like you don't own like you don't have ownership over people.

No, you do.

What's between your sister and your friend five years?

Yeah?

No, they shouldn't hanging out. That's your friend at all, that's.

Your Why wait, why hang it out? I want to know what was y'all doing? Y'all celebrating without me? Was y'all doing something without me?

I'm like, I'm on a plane on the way back from La. I can't be there to hang out. They didn't ask me to hang out.

Why would they? Because they know I'm in La hang No, they why would that?

That's your permission?

Yea, Honestly, why are we like that about our for certain friends, like certain people you don't care about. But like if somebody hangs out with your other friend, or two of your friends hang out that you introduced to each other and you see him chilling.

What's happening? He Yeah, Like it's not real friendship.

But I don't think them ever makes sense because you don't have ownership over a person.

You got to just let people be and let people do what they want to do. That's it.

That's like, you can't get mad about that. If you are mad about it, it's fine, but it's about something else. It's not about them hanging out, you know what I mean. It's about you feeling insecure.

And that's I don't like.

That word at all. Damn.

That's studying therapy at.

I've just been in therapy for so long. I might as well have a fucking degree.

What made you go to therapy? Like start going?

I don't. I was just unhappy. I was just really unhappy, you know what I mean. When you're when your whole life is just like you're like, I'm disappointed in myself.

Oh that's disappointed is a word that white people like to use, and that means like real, like it's really upsetting for y'all.

Yeah, but like I'm disappointed in you you disappointed in me? Does it hurt your feelings?

I mean not really, I'm not disappointed. I'm not disappointed in what I'm saying. If I said that to you, would you like, would you like?

You know? How?

Like on TV?

White moms will be like, I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed.

Yeah, disappointed means a lot when it's coming from somebody you look up to.

That hurts hard.

That hurts harder, Yeah than saying like, fuck you, I don't like you. Saying disappointed. Disappointed is like it's a real emotion. That means you I let you down and you're feeling it, and you care that I let you down.

You care you.

Disappointed affects you the same way it affects us. But I'm assuming the word it does.

You can see it her disappointed in a long time because people don't be telling me that.

They'll be like, I'm just disappointed. I ain't gonna tell her though.

She don't need to know that she really let me down.

Girl, you dropped the.

Ball on that.

I really needed that thirty dollars. That's disappointed.

That you have friends that.

So disappointed and how much money you needed.

Thirty dollars have you ever been angry at work that you like, blew up and got fired for it or you got.

A yes, yes, I remember I was. I was a waitress. This is why I can't be in the service industry. I was a waitress and I walked I remember walking into work one day. I tried to throw these people out for talking to me in a disrespectful way.

But what did they say?

I don't remember.

You can't remember, but I do remember that it was disrespect I don't remember.

I don't even think. I don't think it was even that disrespectful.

I think I was just like, my feelings were hurt by how dismissive they were.

Like I remember walking up.

I didn't know how being a waitress worked, like, I didn't know you go there to be disrespected, you know, bas that is what a service job is, you know that was I did not know that. I just thought, you know, you were going to be a fun waitress. I was always watching the fucking coyote Ugly. Yeah, I'm gonna be the neighborhood waitress. Everybody's gonna love me.

No. I loved in there and I was like, hey, guys.

How you doing, And they they did I just have like sort of an accent when I.

Said that, where were you working? Maybe? Uh?

I was a Don Giovanni's pizza place in Yes, how.

Did you get a job like that?

It's always dudes that are not from yeah, United States? Yeah, immigrants.

Well, there was a lot of green guards at Don Giovanni.

Listen.

There was a long period of time where I did not have any ID.

Uh where I just did not have ID. You were an illegal, No, I was just I was just Uh.

I was just an alcoholic and I couldn't find I couldn't get myself to go to.

The d m V and like together, let me find out, you're not Anglo Saxon and you're Venezuelan.

From South America. Love and bleaching.

I see it, Marie, I see it. She rolled her ours earlier. You were working at a pizza place. I was, And I didn't like the way people talk to you at the pizza pizza bath.

Yeah, you're not allowed to.

Be No, I wasn't. Listen.

There was a long period of time in my life where I could qualify as like certifiably insane because I drank so much and because my ego is all over the place, my mood swings were all over the place. I didn't know what and was, you know what I mean. And then I quld drinking and all this shit stopped happening in my life.

And I was like, oh that was meal and you were like oh, I was like, oh, that was my fault, which is.

Crazy, But because when I was drinking, I was not angry. I wasn't I don't really care. And now that I'm sober, I care about everything. Everything is fucking annoying or stressful. My feelings are hers. So it's just it's all that built up. I was taken so much as a drunk that, yeah, that I'm sober, I'm like, oh I got I gotta get Yeah, I got to kick something, right.

I mean, here's the thing, Like I don't know. I'm like, dude, did I care or did I not care? You know, It's like you're you're so drunk, you don't really feel it whatever you're going through, but.

You do, uh, you do act like you feel it.

Like I remember, Sydney, I remember a lot of tears, Like talking to you remember like I remember a lot of tears. So you were feeling shit, but it was

I feel like there's also something that happens as you get older though, too. For sure, as you age, you're like, you know what, I don't really care about this.

I don't need this in my life, Like, I don't have time to deal with this.

Yes, have you ever had like a friend, you know, like as you're growing older, you have a friend who disappoints you, and you go, you know, I unders I don't need that friend that much.

I do that all the time now.

I just like, I don't feel like making the effort to try to fix this. And you know, I got my friends. I don't need new people. I was looking at cutting back, you know, I'm over staffed anyway.

The Christmas card list was getting too long.

Yeah, there's too many people to keep up with.

Yeah, and then you look at the months and you're like, well, there's there's three birthdays in October. One of them got to go the friend at the end of up you gotta go say Halloween.

Yeah, I don't have time.

Yeah, there's like three birthdays in February and mine's At first, it's like, well I still gott to be their friend until after my birthday.

Well, good thing your birthdays.

On the second, I just hold on to them. Yeah yeah, I was like, well the birthday party got to be I know she's gonna bring that good old apple pie.

So this is.

Why I don't have birthdays, because I don't want to overwhelm my friends. Also because I don't want to face the rejection in case people don't show up.

Yeah, that's rough tomorrow, and it's like, oh, go come, it's so scary. This looks like is anybody going to go it?

Meanwhile, last year, back at the ranch, packed to the brim, random people that I was like, I've never seen you ever, who are you?

And that's Marie's friend from like twenty years ago.

I'm sure, Okay, I'm sure, yeah sure from high school on college camp is crazy.

I was like, oh, it's so it's me I don't know okay. On the new one, Yeah, they're looking at you like we don't know you.

Yeah they were.

They were actually really nice. They're like, hey, I see pictures of you all the time. Oh I should probably be nicer. You're right rude?

See that route route?

Do you people show up that are supposed to anyway?

Yeah?

Yeah?

And the people who aren't supposed to be like, well, how did you get here? Who gave you the door code?

How do you treat those people? Do you get angry? Do those people would piss me off?

Right?

Like the people that show up? Oh my god? What if they bring something like bottle? Uh or like a piece of cake? If they bring something, then great, you know what I mean?

Like, Okay, Reggie came to fucking Emmy party the other night, which Reggie Conquest.

Okay, what Amy party? It wasn't really an Emmy party. It was like an Emmy you see how bit just slide back. I didn't invite you. It wasn't really it was a hangout.

It wasn't at my place. It was last minute, it wasn't at my place. And but it was Reggie's idea to have this, like get together at Macaulla's, right, Okay, so he he like set this whole thing up, shows up three hours late, like asks if he can bring like uh plates and cups and everybody already fucking ate you know what I mean?

That kind of ship. If if that was my place, I'd be furious.

He suggested her house and then didn't bring anything, and then didn't bring anything, and and.

Then got there three hours later.

Yes, so she hid the pot roast before.

He got there so that he couldn't have any It was beautiful.

That feels like something Reggie would do though.

Yeah, of course, also, how long are the Emmys? That he was three hours late? The Emmys is three hours late, right, So what you know?

I don't know?

Was the pot roads cute?

That was a good Did you guys watch the Emm's by the way, that.

Made me angry?

I haven't watched the Emmys and I don't watch work shows.

Nah, I couldn't.

I was why what what made you angry about it?

Just the hosts?

No, no, just everything about it. I was just like I thought, actually that Chay and Colin did a good job. I just feel like it was so the kind of laughter that if I don't know if you guys have ever done like a corporate gig where people can't laugh in front of their coworkers. Oh yeah, that's what the Emmys felt like, you know what I mean. They it all just felt like them being like, but those jokes weren't for them.

I know, they were really playing to the people at home, which is perfect, right, they're smart. Yeah, maybe what Michelle Wolf did.

But then everybody on Twitter is like just following whatever the Emmy audience did, you know what I mean, They were just like, Oh, I can't do this.

I can't listen to this.

I'm so uncomfortable because like nobody can think for themselves.

Every joke is not for everybody, right, and them corporate gigs be real rough. One of the roughest shows that I've ever done. And I just remembered because I suppressed it.

I did because I tried to completely.

Forgot until you said that, and I was like, oh, yeah, one of my worst shows.

Wash.

You know how Walgreens has like the red Nose Day, yes, to like raise money for children or something. Yeah, you told me about that, but she was like, Marie, when you said that, I was like, I think you probably think that you didn't do, but you said people can were coming up to.

You and tell you later. But in the moment when I'm on stage and no one. First of all, they showed a.

Sad ass video of Julia Roberts with like children that had not eaten and were dying.

And then they're like, next Marie Foston doing company, and.

It was like, you got to say that from sad Aaron Brockovich to this, uh huh. And I went on stage and you know, it was a bunch of like old white dudes in there with like pinstripe suits or whatever. And I was like, look at all this money in here, and they nobody left. And then everything I said after that, they were just like waiting for me to finish. And I don't know how much time I was supposed to do,

Got paid for it. You got paid.

That's all that I went on stage, which I love that fact. Yeah, I envelope with the cash in it, yeah, but I love that it.

Was such a rough, corporate little gig for the kids.

But I did it, you know, for the kids for sure. Yeah, for the kids. But Julia Roberts wasn't there. Yeah, but you got you got paid. She probably got paid to.

But the people who come to those things, they're not trying to laugh anyway, like.

You're yeah, they're there for like work.

You don't know why they fucking get comics for this ship this kind of shiit save you're not we can't say I can't not only that.

Most of us don't give a fuck about anything but ourselves.

Yeah right, just because she with a harp to play for thirty minutes. Yeah, and then like donate get the.

Kind of artist that gives a ship about other people, you know what I mean out the art form.

Get a one legged spoken word person.

Yes, like to be like the kids, yes, yes, yes, I.

Mean they need money. The guys got one leg. They wanted to be like my friend did. The places that they do comedy is so weird.

My friend was at a sex party and they were like we they hired a comedian and.

They're like, you know, they get people in the move and it was like, what don't want to dicks out?

And people got on collars, wait in here.

I'm sorry what she.

Did comedy at a sex party. They were like, we want they wanted somebody to warm up.

That's how you know the sex party is trashed.

Like I was there, sis, I went to the party.

Just to see.

They were like, okay, so the cold cuts are not gonna cut it, so we gotta.

Get some comedy. Comedy it was.

It was a lot.

That's a great show.

Actually, a lot of.

People were like it was like like like like a comic con for like people who want to have sex in a like a warehouse place.

That's what most swinger parties are is just like hideously ugly.

People got a lot of swingers party set.

No I went to one, so you so the right side of you is ugly.

I went to one. So I went to one and listen, this was on me. This was my fault because I went to a swingers party with Seaton at like I think it was in January. It was one of the coldest days of the year. If people are trudging out in the snow to fuck at when it's six degrees.

Out, those people are crazy are.

Very lonely, Okay, I mean that's a very lonely type of person.

I want to know the person who got there first, like yo, no, no, no, what about the committee that was like, we still we can't cancel this our deposits.

It was the worst thing. I walked in there.

I knew it was over before it even started because I walked in there and I took off my coat. Wore I remember what I wore. You might as well, Like, I think I came from a spot. You He was like, do you want to go to like check the OU. I was like sure, So I came from like a spot to meet him. I take off my coat. It drops on the ground and I went, oh and I had just been in a comedy club.

So did they have carpet?

You know?

Yes, they had a six carpet.

Yeah, you had GE's on your coat and everything was I was like, I was like, just get it, just keep my coat.

Oh yeah. I didn't take any of my things off.

But there was food at the sex party that I was at, and no one else was eating except me.

That's the other day. I don't know why they have food. Why do they food at a sex party.

There's one person that's like, you know, I can't really funk.

I just literally I'm here. I'm here for the cheese.

I'm like, this disgusting you anything at the Swinger party, he was on an empty stomach looking at terrible dick.

That ain't my scene, that's not my lane. Literally me, we itto got six months to recover from that night. So how long did you guys stay at the Swingers party? I mean probably we walked.

We walked around it and like looked around it and we were just like joking with each other for a while.

We'll drinks in the You guys have to I mean honestly, you have to go because it is the most hideous, Like it was like the place where they it was ground zero for.

Pink eye, you know what I mean, Like it was, oh yeah, and.

You walked in and immediately took your coat off.

I would have just would you have to you have to take off your stuff because people rob you.

I think that's what I was thinking. I was like, this is the kind of place where people will rob you.

Where was the sex party?

I don't borrow this, son.

Like you were in the Bronx Dude, Like, where were you?

No?

But it's like it was I can't go to a sex party, especially with Marie because Marie were like, don't look and then and he's like she.

Turned, you know when you're like look over there, let's don't don't, don't do.

And then you took the one like where yes, his arms like yarms, yo, he's missing one where.

His balls that's sitting She's rude.

That's so funny.

There was literally a couple that I remember because there were several floors and each floor was like supposed to get kinkier, but the ceilings would get lower, so people just look bigger and bigger as you went up on the floors. So it was Alice in Wonderland, Alice in Wonderland, where you just like walked into somebody's asshole at the end, like it was like the most disastrous ship I've ever seen. I could count the rings around a woman's asshole. By

She must have been very old, old mother Hubbard. Rings around the asshole.

Anybody.

I think it's good to express your anger freely.

You throw that rock in that window with that person's.

Face, listen. That was in the beginning of my anger career. Okay, you don't throw you don't throw shit at people now, but you should yell. You can yell, and you can say I'm very fucking angry right now. And you don't have to you know, you don't have to say anything about the person's character.

You could just say how angry you are. Rose. That was literally the whitest thing you said. I am very fucking That was my voice when I was a nanny that show.

When you be asking this, speak to manage me, you be like, look, I'm very any.

Speak to the manager.

I'm very disappointed. I'm so disappointed.

I have never experienced anything like this. The clam chowder really disappointed me. White people chowder?

Is that like clam soup? Yeah, that's nasty.

I don't know anybody that orders claims Sydney.

Does you heard you just said it's good.

It's good.

There's the one from New York, and then there's one from New England. The New England is the white one. I'm both pretty white to me, says.

New England's probaly Wider producer Joe. It's white, right, Okay, of course that's gross.

Be learned that you like clam chowder.

I do.

I'm not gonna lie and you get the little the cookie. No, not the crackers, the little clam cracker.

So good, so gross, so young.

Yeah, it literally makes me make an ugly face whatever the thought of it.

I mean, my face doesn't do ugly things, but you know, basically, yeah.

Right, it's trying. I can see Marie trying to look ugly.

Thank you so much, Rosebud. Where can people listening catch you going on?

Oh god?

You can catch me on Twitter and Instagram at Rosebud Baker.

I will be when is this coming out tomorrow? Tomorrow?

You know, we don't be prepared for these things.

All right, Well then I will be at the Village Underground next week. All my show dates stuff like that is on my website at rosebud Baker dot com.

Your real name is Rosebud.

Yeah, no, that's a lie.

She said he's Venezuelan.

So it's actually.

That's a good talk Yelanda Baker. H what Yolanda Baker? That sounds like a talk show. Send him taking my headphones off?

Forever.

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