"Telling The Truth Expert" with Chloe Hillard

Hello, Hello, Welcome to the Unofficial Expert Podcast with Sydney and Marie ah Man.

This is great, This is great. I'm excited. This is gonna be a good episode. Yeah, I feel it in my bones. Seriously, I'm feeling in my joints. That might be osteoporosis. I'm not really sure. I'm feeling it. It's gonna be great already, high energy.

Okay. Also quick positive note up top. Yes, Sidney got a new wig. Hip cute. The guest is looking like I guess it's looking at you, and you're you fell for the European Standards of beauty sis. Oh gosh, so what you got your turbot on? It's fine, yes, but this is the Indian also West Indian. Also, I'm at my house at my hair was not just I got a Bereton.

So honestly I could take the wig off and just put the beret on and still live my best too.

Don't say beret. That makes me think of that terrible final episode of She's Got to Have It when they dance to Prince Raspberry Beret. It made you think of all of that a beret that's raspberry Bret. I would bring any of that let one word changed. That last episode was garbage.

Yeah, we can't even talk about it because I feel like people I went I was at a show and asking people have they watched it, and they're like, I couldn't make it through all of it. I was like, damn, damn. They're like, I got to like the fifth episode.

I made it to the last episode and was super upset. But yeah, I can't. Like I'm one of these people. If I start watching something, I have to I have to finish it. It's like really bad and I only made it through. Like you gotta to finish it. You have the time.

Come on, you might get to it and then you're like, oh shit, soign the stange.

I'm watching it sequre now just to see how it ends. I don't care about the show really, Yes, all the main characters, Molly going back with the Dobey body let skin dude, Like I'm just I'm just like, well, I just want to see when his wife confront That's true.

That's how I'm waiting for the thirty season and be like, come on, girl, you fell for the okie duck with Gumby, you know, with the with.

The just he got just then out of shaped body, wishy body.

But he's light skinned, he got baby hair, so that's why with clothes it looks like he should have a good body.

And then he takes his clothes off and you're like.

He pumping the tsara for men too hard. So no, I don't think at all, Sydney. Uh, what were you an expert in this week? Can we talk about the past five days? Well, you and I have been going to numerous holiday parties and just smashing it with velveteen love and uh, you know, crushed velvet, velvet on velvet, little lasul something you know, be killing out there, Quinn and I honestly go to the holiday parties for the photo booth.

I don't go there because I don't.

Because I don't drink, and I honestly really don't care about the people who are there.

I just want to take pictures.

So this is my highlight of the night, and I just feel like people shouldn't ruin that because I love I kill it in photo booths and make sure the.

Photos are photogenetic. Ugly people don't like photo.

Booths exactly, So I'm an expert in shutting down people in the photo booth.

Can you please tell people what you're talking about. I don't like when you jump in people's photos and we not cool like that. Who are you?

First of all, the line is mad long, so it's gonna take us another thirty minutes just to take this.

So I want to take it and I want to be right.

Okay, So we me you our friend Alzo and Amina were waiting online. I see this girl and she keeps jumping in people's photos and she's bringing nothing to the table. Nothing absolutely no smile, nothing, just jumping in and just.

No ass like she's jumping in and she like looks miserable. Yes you could have just yes.

So she's in line with us, and I'm like, it's gonna be the four of us. I'm looking at all four of you. You already told her yes, yes, I'm like it's gonna be four of us. I just want a photo of us. And she's looking like huh yeah, okay. So then finally we get up and we get in and soon as we press start, she jumps in and I touch her by her elbow and I said, no, it's just gonna be the four of But she was in.

The first photo and if you look at the series photo, God, the girl looking miserable. Then she's not in nothing else. But the next photo is our friend of Mina dying.

I want to post it a photo. I want to post it.

Looking like Regina George in the very front of the photo. It's not me, she was.

Going, it's not mean, girl, It's just there's a long line. It's gonna take us forever to get this photo again. So why are you ruining?

I mean, we also cut the line several times. Bowguarded the white people several times. That was rude too. So I was in a lot of photos.

But you know whatever I mean, don't let anybody just get in your photo.

It's not that serious. It's not that serious serious. If you look at the first sure and in the second picture, it's hilarious.

It's too much. It's like, listen, we're here to have a good time. And also, when you come to a holiday party, what are you wearing?

What are you wearing? A lot of like flight jackets and like sweatpants, sweatpants, it's like a forever twenty one. Let's be festive, like put some Christmas lights on your shirt, whatever, do what you gotta do. So that people were like, yeah, get in my photo. You know, maybe sometimes your face is not doing it. Sometimes you just have to bring the energy with your clothes. I guess I just want to take pictures of people. Who is gonna get a lot of likes, That's all. It's not gonna get a

I'm just here to dance with juniors, Junior's birthday party or bachelor party.

Anyway. So we get there and none of the people are drinking. Nope, none of them are asking us to do anything. They had their coats on and they were ready to go before we were halfway through with the party. So it was like, eh, well guess and we got paid at the beginning of the night. See. But that's the problem is that we got paid.

Somebody just handed us the money and we thinking, oh, this is like extra, this.

Is a tip. It was an old dude. He like peeling off cash, healing off money to give us.

He had a wad of money. Like, honestly, we could have just hit him over the head, take his cash and run.

We didn't even have to hit him, says, We could have just tipped him over. He would have gotten up real slove.

It was so much money, but I felt like he was giving it to us, like thank.

You girls for just being so beautiful. But it was like, no, this is your payment. Yeah it was.

I was so hurt because I thought I was gonna make eight hundred dollars that night.

Didn't make that much. SI surely didn't. Also, Sidney had me convinced I was gonna make it a hundred dollars. I was like, yeah. She as talking about like when she was a waitress and she was making nine thousand dollars a night, and it's like, oh, yeah, I'm also gonna make nine thousand dollars tonight. Well because a.

Girl called me up, like, Hey, this guy is gonna be there.

He he pays the moral here, sis. Don't listen to your friends. Yeah, listen to your friends. Don't listen to white We're white exactly, Hey, white women, thank you for listening. Should we get into the guests? We should? We should? Okay, well intro our guestsys?

Okay, well, first of all, outstanding writer, stand up at trees, woman of gall Okay, she got a core.

She she got a.

Core, she got a savings account. Like she's doing really well. She is our telling the truth expert. Give it up for Chloe Hillard.

Hey, Chloe, let me see Chloe, I feel like you a little bit low? Yeah, something else you can dare you? You could be loud? This? This is it? Chloe. How do you feel about holiday parties or fellows this year? I didn't go to any.

I haven't been to any holiday parties, partially because I one don't really socialize.

With a lot of the people that go to these parties.

And I find it interesting that a lot of comics in New York City are jockey and thinking that going to a holiday party is how they're going to get booked there, and it's never how you get booked.

That's not why I go. I go for the free open bar. I go for the snacks. Possibly a massage because Gotham Comedy Club did massages last year. I don't know if they do that again this year. But I don't go to network for me.

I think you guys are different cases, but I don't go to network either. But one for me, I'm not going to go to a club that doesn't book me exactly.

He's definitely not doing that.

So if I don't work that club, I'm not going there to partake and be up in their face.

Why. It's like, why do that? Well, that's the thing too, right, You see a lot of people.

Yeah, the people are jockeying for attention, thinking that the booker is drunk.

They're not.

They don't give a fuck about you coming in, and they're fucking cheese sticks.

This Chloe already telling the truth. Can you tell us a little bit about you? First of all, I told you I'm six one wow, six one, A whole lot of woman like you don't know. The listeners don't know. So I want to just six six one. I've been this height since I was twelve, no, twelve.

Since I was twelve. Yeah, I used to have gross sports. When I was a kid, like like six seven. I would cry and be like, mom, my body hurts, you know, because your body hurts because it was growing so fast. Yeah, and so the doctor, she took me to the doctor and she's like, yeah, she's growing at night. And so I had like stretch marks on my inner like elbows and knees and stuff.

Oh my god, grow. Yeah, weird.

It's so funny because my brother, my brother, my younger brother's like only five nine.

Damn dude, I would know he wish he could switch height with you.

Every time you see her, a whole lot of women please great, No, it's wonderful, Sidney.

You looking at her like she like she's a snack city, always be in my little DM, always saying whether we gonna do this on the podcast. Yes, it's what the Sydney say your gms. She's no, she's not. She's a very supportive cister. Yeah yeah, yeah, that's the city's a creep Okay, she'd be creeping on all our female guests and some of the males.

Well, you went on a vacation and you had all of the the titties out, and I said, wow, this is what you gotta do.

You gotta go out of the country to show those things. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. I didn't even know you had boobs like that.

Nobody, well, most people don't. I just don't show off that part of my body. Also because I think because especially with comedy, we stand on the stage saying so there's a lot of things wardrobe wise that I wouldn't wear on stage because you got to think about your angles.

My angles are good, so just you know, from straight on, my angles are from the side, It's like who that boy is. I'm like Wesley Snipe's killing it up there. Like, you know, I don't want to be on because I'm tall.

If I'm wearing like a skirt of anything that's short angles, and then like if my boobs are low, if I you know, if I get in the spirit of whatever I'm talking about and you just your titties bounce, it's too distracted. It's too much distract Because when you first didcomment, you had your titties out outsis you had a low cut time.

I'm sure it was low to the navel Versachi drinks, but I had just brought them. They were brand new.

They still had the barcode on it, so I was like, yeah, I'm showing them V neck for everything.

Yeah. Yeah, it was a deep. It was a deep, It was a DV. It was a thank you for being a respectful woman, Chloe, thank you, You're welcome. But so Chloe's tall, you're six to one. And then she got this magnificent fro. But you normally don't have your hair out. I normally don't wear it like this.

I normally like will blow it out or breid it up or something like I do something too weird before I I.

Just love it out. It always looks great. Thank you. I appreciate that. I am.

The thing is like I do love a good crochet, I think because it's just time consumed, like it's time consuming happening here and twisted out and play with it so much.

But yeah, I am.

Also, I had stopped I started doing Corosier a while ago, and no shade. But like the thing about comedy is that when you're a black woman in comedy, people remember your look.

And I was getting confused for other people. You encountered that a lot en countered that regularly, and I'm like, oh no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm sorry, that's not a compliment, Like no, no, no, no, no, no, no no, I get really mad for you. Like, yeah, it was to the point. I mean, this is a couple of years ago.

So this is to the point where like I would show up to the club and the other person would be there and the bartender would pay them my money, like here you go, and they'd be like, no, that's not me, that's Chloe.

What's right next to them? Like you really think we don't know nothing alike? Yeah, yeah, we're thinking at the same time, I'm like, nothing about not one damn thing, not even your elbow. Nothing. Literally.

But that's because people just glance and they see a shape and a color, you know what I mean.

They're not like looking at the details of your shape and a color, you know.

But now, I think when you get to a certain part, you know, like you guys are recognized while people know you know, you could do anything. You can change your hair any day of the week and people will still know who you are. But when you're first starting out in this business, it's best to keep your hair a certain kind of way.

Yeah, I get it. I get that. That's fair. You know it's a Rianna a couple of years before she started doing different colors, and she was covering her forehead in the beginning lot. Now she's real free about it. I mean, Sydney, say, think it's be said about you. You was covering your forearat a lot when I met you as well. I had bangs for ten years and I haven't seen you with bangs in legit two years. You've grown. That shows how much comedy you see, how much confidence I give you as a friend.

Shut up, stay like hey, as soon as you start wearing those wigs, I really feel like you can flourish.

As soon as you wear your real hair. I mean, I just feel like you'll really be your want you to get your lou pizza nango. No, you can do it.

You so you come to my house and do my hair then, because the way for.

To do your hair, and you've always be like city, doesn't your girlfriend do your hair? Damn Marie, you acting like that's what the issue is. Somebody's already helping you do it and you're not wearing it out.

The thing is you have to This is when you talk about truth, you can't be truthful until you're true with yourself.

Excuse me, I'm not saying you are okay. It's like, when did this turn surprise intervention? Fix your damn wig? No?

No, no, I mean, I think wigs are cute and all that stuff, but I do believe that. I don't want to say I don't want to make it about you and wigs, but I feel like if you aren't true about where you stand with yourself, it's hard for you to give input or advice to other people.

You know what I mean?

So like, if you're not being honest about yourself, like, I know what my flaws are, I know what my shortcomings are.

Callby what are some let's talk about it, Let's get into it.

I would say, I am. I am really super focused, but not to the point where I'm not really good at letting other people in my to my z you hear what I'm saying, and especially when you have a strong network, like still, I'll do the work twice as long by myself. Then just being like hey, y'all, y'all want to mind helping me do this thing because I have a loan of personality, Because I was bullied as a kid, and I was the only child.

But you're so tall, you look like the bully, Chloe. You look like you step on all the kids. Yeah, you stepped to the teacher like we're going to recess thirty minutes early today.

Because I was the youngest, I started school at four, So when I started school, I was literally the youngest in the class. My birthday is at the end of the year, December twenty eighth, so when I started school, kids were already five already, you know, like a year or half.

Ye. Yeah, Chloe, I started school early too. My birth in September, and I was little and skinny, and I was the bully.

I was the biggest, and I didn't have any siblings, so I didn't understand of like snapping and roasting and you know, talking ship or like oh she did it. Like I wasn't the type of like put some people, you know what I mean. I'm like honest age in school and they just.

You're why they were making fun of you do it because you were like honest. You were like I cannot tell a lie. I cannot tell him. I hit this Chinese boy with a car because he tried to play with a toy that I was playing with first, I was like, that's mine. I was playing with it yesterday.

I was ticky, tikky, timbo, that's what it was me. And I was just like so meek and I couldn't. I was bullied a lot too.

That's so crazy because like, now y'all are the bullies and I'm like the meek one. Excuse me, that is a lie. Wow, look at y'all ganging up on me right now, a limb. So you speak your truth? Okay, wait, so when did you find your voice? Because being an only child to me is like a handicap in my mind. Just ask somebody you like really, yeah, because when I think of.

People, you have to be so your parent has to be very vigilant and socializing you.

If you're not socialized, you got to find other people to play with when you're young. Otherwise, like you, you learn to play by yourself and by yourself.

That's so weird to me because I do have a brother and sister, but I didn't grow up with them, so I almost was like the only child, and my family wouldn't let me play with people.

They didn't trust nobody. They think like no I understand that my family was the same way, but I had an older brother and a younger sister, so like I was home with them, I played by myself a lot.

But now, like as an adult, I still know how to talk to people.

That's all I do.

Yeah, but there's but there's a cutoff point, you know what I'm saying. Like you, you can talk to people and hang out with them, but at a certain point you be.

Like I'm over it.

Like I get over it really quickly in social settings, like if it's a shit ton of people when I go to a function, I'm not really I'm not really the tight.

Especially being a comedy. People think you walk in like I'm gonna kill it. That's not me.

I'm in there, like scoping out in the corner, chilling talking to people.

I know. So how did you? How did you turn that into being able to get on stage and do stand up? Well?

Because you stand up, it's less of an attention seeking thing and more of I have something to say.

So so you got things that said, Chloe, you just you just did an hour. You recorded an hour and it's dope. It was so good. Your laughter, she's so rude, damn super supportive. Who's that loud cat in the background. I was like the trainer joke, crying like that girl's been through it.

I'm like, oh, that happened that day though I did it literally that day before my hour, I went to the gym and I ran into this guy that I had dated for a short time and he ghosted me, which is my truth, which is also you know, I'm at the point now where I'm definitely feeling more comfortable telling things that show me being played on stage, you know, instead of like, you know how you have a situation where you definitely got played, but you gotta finess it because.

Yeah, you got to make it sound like you didn't. Yeah, like this nigga goes to me.

But that's crazy club because most comedians, i mean, I'm not going to say, like white men, they are always talking about how they get played, like that's their whole set.

Oh it's just be one crying.

But that's but that is because their whole intention is to get on stage and denouncing their privilege. It is because if they go on there and they're confident, I mean, I've seen some there are some white male comics who are super confident in there and come across as being arrogant, but that's their whole thing.

But they're also very attractive.

So you can't be mediocre, mediocre white face and then have an audacity to be.

Like and bold. Yeah, so they have.

To do that, like self deprecating shit a little bit, or or be like snarky in order for.

People to be like, oh okay, I get it, you know. So they don't have that. I mean, but I don't think.

I don't think a lot of black male comics are that boisterous either.

I don't think really go on talking about the ship all the time. M No, not really. I mean they go up there with like a different type of swagger to them, like they carry themselves do it.

But they're not saying, they're not saying right, but you feel it, you get the vibe. But they're not on stage being like I'm the ship.

But they're not like woe is made though, And I like, I live with my mom and I you know what I mean, I live with my mom and I still bring bitches home.

Yeah that's what they do. Yeah, and I make boxes like they do all that box make boxes for a living, payoff phone bill. Okay, right, So Chloe, Yeah, how does that? How does you okay? So you don't say you have something to say? I get you guys had something to say. And I think the two things happened. One, when I first found my voice. I had been bullied all of.

Elementary school and it wasn't until like the fifth grade where I just snapped.

I literally what happened? You went all carry on them? No, I went crazy on this one.

Like we were standing in line at dismissal and this one girl had been just giving it to me for a while, like just smart, you know, like like you know, somebody could just say something real slick and little teach you don't hear it, and they just see your reaction.

Yeah, oh yeah.

And I always got I always got blamed for being a bully because I was the biggest. So it's like, you know, they would say crazy shit to me all the time, and then I would like spend.

Say something back and be like Chloe, why are you doing?

Ye know, like or if they would throw shit at me all day and I would like throw something back and be like.

You hit them, you know. So it's so that was happening.

So it was like psychological warfare and finally this one day, this chick said something to me and I literally lost And she had pigtails and I one of her picktails and I literally swung her back and forth like yeah.

And then girl.

Literally when we went outside, like everybody was like, Chloe lost it, Like everybody knew, like it was like, oh, this she the girl deserved it.

Chloe lost it.

So we went outside and my mother was there, which is rare because my mom by that point in like fifth grade, she would come, but.

Not every day, but she was there that day.

And the teacher goes out and she's like, you know, Chloe got into a fight with this girl, and you know you really should talk to her, like basically, but even the teacher knew, Like it was to the point where the teacher was like, your.

Daughter finally finally lost it.

I don't know, was it a celebration. It was like it was like the girl. Everybody knew that the girl was troubled. Yeah, so the teacher wasn't really no no, no, she's black. And I went to school with like the Cosby kids. All the kids in my class were kids would like teachers were their parents are like engineers, doctors, lawyers, Okay.

Where'd you go to school?

Yeah, the Reunion Clinton Hill? Okay, yes, Clinton Hill. And so when my mom came, my mom was like is it true. I was like yes, and she was like okay, like you know, because she knew I had been through so much. And so that was kind of like the start. And then after that year, I left at school and I went to another junior high school for gifted and talented Philip a Skylark okay, tell them credits girl Gifted and Talent okay, And it was all West Indian kids.

Yeah, so loud, another level not another level of the bullying me. They was like fucking open your mouth and say some shit.

They would a type of like like they kind of gave me a confidence because I hung out with like all the big girls. I was a big girl. So they was like, no, we were fucking killing it. And I was like, oh, we're killing it. Like they just was like not like all like all your insecurities that you have, like in our culture, that's not like, that's

And so journalist Sydney, Yeah, I know that. Did you ever want to help people with your voice? Though? Like you're really just that's each one teach run right there. You're just you're trying to help and that's important because you have a platform.

Yeah, And I think, I mean, I think all of us with this podcast, you know, everybody that does this or stands on stage.

I think that's we have to be.

We have to realize that you even know we're sitting in this apartment, we're talking to each other, like these words will live on and affect whoever's hearing it.

And so you have to have some sort of accountability.

Okay, I mean the tweet the people who tweet, they tweet at us. They be like, thank you, listen to your podcast at lunch break and it helps me because I've had a bad.

Day and y'all make me laugh. And I'm was like, oh, that's not even where I thought you're gonna go at that. I thought you're gonna say like people tweet things out and they feel like those words don't mean anything. But people be getting fired from Twitter all the time. Yeah, Like a lady that was going to Africa and got on a plane, like a twenty hour flight and was

And I think also when it comes to being honest, I think people think that that how their personal opinion is true honesty and a lot of times can we misconstrue the point I.

Feel like honestly speak on that.

I think honesty should not have your personal interest invested in it.

It should just be the so people speak their truth even if it's not the truth. Yes exactly.

Yeah, but I think you should be able to speak your truth without saying like, well, you're like, in my opinion, this is how I feel.

But they don't preface it that way. Yeah, but even if that is how you feel. Also in my opinion, if my opinion don't match up with yours, in my opinion, should be okay with getting punched in the face. We're getting fired or something bad happening to you. Yeah, I'm not saying that like fighting somebody because you don't agree with them is right, But like if your thing is offensive and I happy to be standing there for somebody who's the thing that's like my truth? I feel like

Is about where you stand, your philosophy, your ideology, your heart, your emotion, that's your truth. The truth is something different, and I think a lot of times people project their personal truths as the finite, all end all, be all truth.

Yeah. No, no, no, I don't believe in that.

I don't believe in that, But I do feel like you should be able to speak what you think in your opinion and people be like, okay, well that's your opinion.

I heard it, I don't agree with it, and then move on.

But that's why we are in such a problem situation we are now, is because people don't understand that you don't have to agree with somebody. Yeah, in order to be heard, Like, I don't have to agree with what you guys believe, But that doesn't mean that I have to disrespect you as a person exactly.

So people want to be right.

They don't want to People want to be heard, but they also want to be right, and sometimes you can't.

You can't have both.

But that's the problem here now is that everybody can be heard, literally every.

People who can't read, because people who can't speak, it's like, dude, like I don't care about what you're saying right now.

They speak on topics that they have no idea what they're talking about. They didn't even they see one headline in their boom. They want to talk about the whole thing and they don't know what they're talking about.

They're like, I'm an expert on this. Probably you should come on the podcast find out. I'm probably an expert at this. So has telling the truth ever hurt you? Like? Have you been ever been in a relationship where you it's like, should that that?

Well, I haven't been in many relationships. I've only been in one relationship.

Watch a man, watch your mouth.

I was a dated this guy for about two and a half three years in my late twenties, okay, because I was a workaholic, so I wasn't really trying to date like that.

You're busy, you booked in business? Is booked busy.

So we were friend We were friends first and we saw we always saw each other socially, and we just like kind of gravitated towards each other and started dating and a relationship was good. It kind of just got to the point where I started doing comedy and that wasn't a thing.

It wasn't up. He was a journalist, no, no, here, he worked in media. He encourage me, actually he encouraged me a lot to get into comedy. He was like, get on stage that. He's my biggest supporter. Till this day, he's still one of my biggest. Did he come to he came to the one? Oh yeah, you did tell me about that? Yeah.

So so he's a really sweet, good guy. And and when our relationship ended, I realized that I decided I was going to dedicate myself to comedy. And I didn't know how trying to factor in somebody else until that at that moment, when I was still trying to master it, or not mastered, but navigate it, I didn't think that would be fair because the last thing I want is somebody telling me, oh, why are you going out tonight?

My friend in rest. I wonder it feels like that, Sidney, I wonder, who feels like that? No, Marie, that feels like that. What a peculiar feeling, Marie. You tell me that's it. I don't have a man, Okay, well me neither do I.

Yeah, And I think, and that's when you talk about that's being honest with yourself. Like I could have lied to myself and been like, oh no, I want to be with somebody, even though I'm trying to, you know, dive into this second career, and I just would have it just would have been problematic.

Yeah. So also, see that's what happened when you were strong, independent women and you don't need no man. You have money, here's your own place, you have food in your fridge. You were like, ah, yeah, you know what, it's not gonna be fair to stay with him. But if you didn't have nowhere to go, and your friend was empty, like I mean, I guess I like him so like I don't really need to tell these jokes every night.

I definitely know I struggled when I made the career change.

I struggle. I was broke. I'm talking about in the beginning. Absolutely, there's no way you have food in your fridge all the time. Well, also because I quit, I stopped journalism.

And when I stopped the last job I had as a journalist, I got to let go because it was a so.

You wasn't even ready he write your lunch planned for the week, and they were like, hey, Thursday's the last day. Because I realized this job wasn't for me.

I realized it wasn't for me, so I worked really hard to get laid off like I planned it. I did just enough and I wasn't negligent, but more that he had to at least respectfully lay me off, right, And so I got unappointment, so unappointment, and I was consulting.

A lot of plan the unloy.

Yes you do, you can't listen. I believe in planning, but I don't do the planning all the time. But I do believe in.

I don't really believe in planning. But I gave I never give two weeks notice for a job. I just leave. Why yeah, why right, That's what I That's what I used to do. And one day I was like, you know what, I've been at this restaurant job for almost a year and I wasn't happy. And I was like, let me go give them my two weeks. Not this, I'm grown up. First time I gave weeks though this. They were like, if you're not happy, you could just

And it and it forces you to work harder for yourself. Being an entrepreneur is very important.

Yeah, that story was from like a couple of years ago. I've been fired from many many jobs since then. But you don't consider yourself. You don't both of you don't consider yourself to be entrepreneurs y. Yes, when I filed my taxes, i'd be like this, I'm not going to do that other form entrepreneur. Can you explain entrepreneurship? Can you explain it? You work for yourself.

If you don't work, you don't eat, but like more more, it's more hands on than like if you don't go to a job. It's like you constantly have to cultivate means of income for yourself, your independent contracts.

Okay, so that's us, that's us. We do that. We work from home, and we think of we try to want to look at it and say, oh, that's nice. Yeah, you got it.

I mean I think also because of the industry that we're in, people think that, like comedy itself, working in the city is enough.

No, but no it's not, you know what I mean?

And I think this so much like you said, you guys hosted a party, Like, there's so many other things you could do.

You know, you all of us have.

Done television and writing and all that stuff. You have to kind of cultivate it. It's not going to nobody's saying, oh, you a comic, So here's all the things you could do as a comic.

Like, nobody tells you that. You just gotta you gotta figure out what it is and everything that you can do you do as a comic is not the same. Think somebody else who's a comment can also do. Yeah, because I'm not trying to walk no dogs. I just can't. It's my soul. They won't allow me to do it. I'm gonna tell the truth. I don't like dogs. I like dogs, and I still don't want to walk them. I'm not picking up dog Poople warms.

But the thing is, you gotta promote yourself. So you gotta have a website. You gotta have as you don't have.

A website list or something white, It's so easy. It's so easy. You just even if you just have a single page up with like how email me and here's my phone number. Yeah, yeah, we should do that. People want. You don't have one either, No, I don't that. My boyfriend, the one that I had X manty years ago for Christmas, got me a website what see, and then we broke up. So I never heard of that. I mean I never set it up. I was in the process of like thinking about what it would look like. It broke up,

So your first order of business, both of you, weite know before it gets over, is to go and put up a web page, a web page at least a photo of yourself, links to your work, links to your website, I mean, to your podcast, an email address and a phone number that they can reach you out. Get a Google Voice numbers, so nobody's stalking your real life. Yeah, Google voice that and make it happen because people will see you and they don't remember, but they can remember

Come through people looking me up through my website.

Last Comic Standing, nightly show, comed every single is people just calling my Google voice number off my website and be like, Hi, do you have a manager?

No, I don't have a manager. I don't have an agent. And how much does this page costs? A web page is free? Yes, we can have a web page for the podcast. Yeah, yes, you should definitely have one for the podcast.

Marie, y'all thinking like this ten years ago when the ship was like thousands of dollars.

I know. I'm like, we gotta go, Chaddy, got go to WIS.

You can go to wiks, you can actually go to you can make a page on Tumblr.

I just rode free. Yeah with the dollars. Okay, yeah, go make it on WIS. We can work on that on Christmas. Squarespace. That's our news resolutions squares space. SQUARESPACEA got plenty of photos. Just put we sure do now, Chloe, You're obviously good at like giving other people advice to help them fix their life. But there are other things that you are claim to be good at that I wanted to maybe talk about. What other skills do you have that you feel like people listening. I'm a I'm

You can you can get a feel of literally no punitentiy.

You can get a feel of whether or not a guy is packing, how is it he walks real slow? You know? I in my experience, the men I know that have huge dicks, that good posture, no got bad back.

They I think they carry themselves in a way that's a little bit more subtle.

I don't know. They don't talk about so they don't so it's mute nigga got or he can't or he got a statter sist thing can't get. They just like they just aren't pressed for the pussy.

They're just the way they carry themselves is very just like it's whatever you want.

It's like you cool like I'm not. I'm not really. I feel like I don't know who's that don't get pussy hump in your leg? The dude that has a big old dick.

It's like we cool like And also because I'm an honest person, I'm just if I feel like I've met you in a good in the situation and we're talking, it's a good conversation.

I'm just gonna ask you how big addic You just gonna ask how big the dickie up to wait either or not interested in them, You're just gonna ask. You're a child of God and you're asking the super questions.

Yea and brunch at brunch in the day start because I feel like this And this is what women don't realize. If a man fixes his mouth to start asking you sexually, expects the questions like so tell me because you know dude city, Like so what's your favorite position?

Like what kind of love maker are you?

Like just when you start asking me that, I'm gonna turn around like how wait?

How bigorry? Has anybody ever ask you? Sure? But not recently. I'm a lady now, but like, yeah that guys men have never I know men have asked you that me. Yeah, early, like early like getting into like first date, second date. They'll up in a little sex question some kind of way, and you'd be like, what he was talking about? I used to do that. My response is wait before I answer that question, how big is your dad? Can you tell? When they lie?

No, Actually, most of them are so shocked that they end up just telling you the truth.

They can't believe that.

I don't even believe a man can tell the truth. After that question, you gotta do it yourself. I mean you got to measure that answer yourself.

No. Wait, no, every man knows how big day dick is? They lying? They lying if they say they don't know half of them can't even afford a ruler. No, no, you know what it is. They won't tell you.

Most guys if their dick is less than like seven inches, they'll be like, you know, if their dick is seven or better, they'd be like, oh seven, they'll be like seven inches or eight probably like nine.

Ten was like it's ten, and I was like, you're He was like, no, it's ten. I was, And did you find out?

I damn sure did find out? How was that all of the ten inches?

Oh my god? Would you introduce us after alternate these? And yeah, I damn sure, Yes, you could take tenn inch's club six ft one says you got just you know, that doesn't mean anything. That means she could have she could have a short SERVEX.

No, it's not her small uterus. It's apropriate sis, it's sizable.

It's like, you know, people who are tall have big feet.

Everybody who every woman, your womb is big.

Like, yeah, but my insurance is not ten inch insurance. I can't say that. It's not for four less is my sharance? No, that ain't for me.

I've seen what I was dating this dude who was from Ghana and he he had like ten or I felt like more, and I was like, no, not doing that.

No, I said, I can't. I will not. That's not going in my mouth, that's not going in my ears, that's not going through any hole that I crossed my forehead. And please take your chicken. I don't even have enough hand for that. Nope, not doing it blocked your blessings. Most blocked your blessings.

Most dudes with big digs, if they know, if they know that they have a big dick, they're not going to just try and like rammed in you do, you probably get the first couple of times, you probably get half the dick in.

They know not to go all the way to the day there's half the dick. Then the other half don't need to know me, okay, the other half of the dick. Nice to meet you from all the way over here, from eight inches away. We could be friends. I'm unapologetic and being a size queen. That's just what it is.

And it's good because when you let people know, they know what they got to bring to the table.

Yeah, but I feel like you're looking at my my, you're looking at my, I'm looking at you. I'm looking at I'm like, Chloe, So you've never been with a guy that had like a little dick? No, I have I have? How long were you with him, like a relationship? I've only been in one relationship. Okay, So did you continue to hook up with this troll, the guy with a big dig No? No, no.

First of all, two different conversations, I've only been around relationship, and I was very satisfied in that relationship. And when it comes to the big dick guys, you know it lasts however long your last.

Yes, But how about the little dude with the little dick? Dude? How long was here? All right?

In the past, like probably six or seven years? Have I been with a guy with a tiny penis? Maybe once? Like sexually once?

And you got your own car, so you saw that you were like, I'm out, bye, I don't have to wait to do you validate you? Well? Two things.

A guy that had the small dick, he like, we have went out a couple of times, and then I finally was like, okay, I'll go back to his place.

What do he take you?

Because the guy would have small dick, gonna take you somewhere nice like sushi? Is I gotta get you something nice to eat so you can be full, and I'm not gonna put you up.

These shallow struggles. All you're gonna get tonight. Okay, so you gonna need some more uh uh sushi for that sushi for the table. No, we went out.

This is a while ago. We went out to a couple of restaurants, all Brooklyn stuff because like you know, local local bars and that, you know, a couple of drinks and so so I was like, finally, okay, I'll go back to his place, and this is the this is I should have been like out. I mean I was out the door, but even more so, like I was like, I'm never gonna talk.

To me again. His place was a pig stock. We talk about it, Chloe, talk about the truth so disgusting. How did you get ready to go on a date and you like there's an in the back of your mind you think you might bring somebody back home, right, Like, I mean, you can't tidy up a little bit. No, it was beyond tidy up.

It was like it was like move ship with your feet, like you kept your jacket on. Oh You're like, I'm keeping my jacket on when I go to the bathroom. That's how nasty place. I'm not taking my shoes off.

I'm just I'm gonna hold my coat under my arm. Listen. I I went to a guy's house and he told me to take my shoes off. And I was like, you haven't momped in seven years. I will not text my shoes off. He said, take one. I said, so have you been taking your shoes off because it looked like you've been stopping all up in this bitch. Yeah. No, no, So place was disgusting. Place was discussed. You knew you

But he was like really adamant about, like, you know, eat my pussy. So I was like, well, you know what, Yeah, we got a lot of great God thankfully he didn't have any condoms.

I was like, oh, good night. Did you have your coat on while he was eating you? In my mind, you just like she left everything on, including your shoes, shoes, socks, everything she said, had her gloves on. Sis. You let him you out through the like little hole right here, You're like through the zipper. You gotta do what you gotta do. Oh my god, damn that. I love that. I want to deny him the pleasure of you know me. Yeah, I mean some people they get joy out of seeing

As like a you're not happy, you fucking everything up. I thought it was like everything's burning because I'm not happy.

No. I mean I might like start a little fire, but like, I'm not gonna burn everything. It's not gonna be you know, California. So that's crazy. I haven't seen you like that when I'm not in a good mood. I'm not in a good mood, and I'm not gonna pretend to be. I think that's maybe you. You don't pretend. You don't pretend, but I feel like you know you said to yourself. And usually people could tell when you're not in a good movie, like give Marie some time.

You're like be damn, And they were like, you know why, because it's about how it took me a while.

I used to get in trouble. I was a lot.

I used to get in trouble a lot because all my friends and the people that I cared about, when I would tell themselves, they would say, it's not what you say, it's.

How you say it. Yeah, how would you say it? Chloyd?

Well, when I was younger, like college, early twenties, I would say it like literally, I would be like, you know what.

You need to do is oooh?

Which hate that literally the line that's like you don't really want to be my friend because because.

It's like you're forcing them to change or be somebody that they're not.

This is me. Yeah.

So instead of me being like judgmental in my honesty and being like I know everything, especially because you can't really act like you know everything where you don't have life experience in here, I was like.

Early being like, you know what you need to what you really need to do is so I don't do that anymore. So now when I when I'm having a conversation with somebody and they ask my opinion, which is also key one let to be black for your opinion or act what you think. And then if it's about them personally, I would say, well, have you thought about are you guys twitch? Are you open to you let them think it was there?

I do, well, yeah, but it's like it's I'm still saying a truthful thing, but it's like I'm not forcing it on them.

It's like, have you thought about If you say to me, oh, I think I.

Want to I want to paint my apartment, I'm like, what have you thought about like pastels or browns or whatever, like whatever it is you know, And I would say, because I feel like that's a good vibe for you and what you're going through right now. It'll help cheer you up, and you thought about it and you'll give more thought to it, versus like make this bitch future future is the only color that's gone.

And you were like, no, even if it was like them, we delivered it, okay, So you low key like manipulating people by like not telling them it was like no shade. I just feel like when you wear your real hair, you be yourself. And I do believe that. I believe that only because I know what. I know you well enough to know what your hair means to you. What what does it mean to me? I am not this skin? Do you know what I'm saying? I know what. I know what you're aesthetic means to you, So I know.

So when I say that, I'm saying it because I feel as though and I didn't want.

To bring it on you and your wigs, but you did, so I feel like I brought it upon myself to get the truth. No, I feel like I feel like your initial reason for wearing wigs may have been because of what you did for work. Yes, okay, yes, and so it was filling a role. But also it's not time consuming.

I get my hair done and then boom when the next time you gotta get your hair done?

Me? Yeah, I washed it yesterday, so in a week okay.

So So the reason why I said that is because when you were in that line of work, right, you couldn't beat the black queen that you had to fit an aesthetic, and the way that people perceived you was based on that aesthetic.

Yes, because you were selling a vision, a dream, an experience. Right.

The comedy is about who you are innately as a person. So that's why I say, when you become fully appreciative and own who you are from nappy roots to ChiPT.

Nails, then ow so just saying that you can stand in your truth on stage and that way nobody yeshermently, her truth is silky body twigs. It's a middle part with a little bit of concealer on it and a body tweels. Her truth currently is a twenty two inch to the waist or not saying that you never have to wear where you again, I'm just saying that you know you can.

When the wig isn't a masking thing or a part of your personality, then it's just an excessive Then it's literally just an excess.

You hear that, listeners, put that hair away and stand in your own truth, walking your own light whatever sounds like. Standing my light is expensive and time consuming. I mean weeks costs money to though, and I don't want anybody listens to be like, well fuck this bitch.

I mean you has hair, Yes, she got hair. When you straighten this, how long? How long past my shoulders? But I also have wigs.

I have wigs.

I do crochet, I do braids, I do protective hairstyles. But these things are not synonymous with my identity is nothing.

Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

You can still wear wigs, but it shouldn't be a big crux of who you are and how you present yourself.

That's I mean, it's gotten to the point now that like white people say the word wig and they look at Sydney wig like a black girl with a wig, and then they're like chester at her with their oh my god. And I'm like, I don't say nothing about wigs, you know what garden shorts. And he rude because he thinks he's uh, you know, partial black. I mean, he said something about wigs yesterday and then you stuck your head out and he was like, oh, one with a wig.

I don't think I have a moment where I wish I had said something differently to somebody.

Really you never like you don't never be in the shower like I should have said, and then you come up with like a whole I feel like you watch what you say, like yeh, because I realized that I.

There are times when I have been flipping, you know, when you just be talking to me, talking and people like I've had I've had two instances of people coming to me years later and being like, you know, because when you said that thing to me, it really made me feel like shit, or it really made me like reevaluate, and I'm like.

I could fucking know what I said. Like every party years back, there was holding on to that. Then I let that shit go.

I ain't even really like, you know, a friend of mine, a friend of mine at the time, she stopped talking to me, and initially I just thought she was like in her feelings about something that didn't relate to me. But then she came to me years later and was like, yeah, because I just felt like you like you said X, Y and Z to me, and I just felt like that wasn't supportive, and I was like, I honestly didn't even put any weight behind it.

And she also was dealing with her own stuff as well though, because.

If if one thing, you say one thing to me and I'm not going to speak to you like and not even address it, that's like I got a whole bunch of other things going on in my life as well.

Yeah, but how much stuff between them had been brilliant? You know what I mean?

It's like because if you're not exactly, if you're not honest, like if you you two are really close friends, and I feel like at any infraction, you should bring it up because it will just breathe contention and then next thing, you know, you'll eat her lass potato chip and she'll be like, fuck this friendship, you.

Know what I Yeah, you kind of cry too.

And I think I'm more mindful, especially when it comes to like my friends, family, to address it as much as I can before it becomes a big thing. I don't like something, if I feel like you said something that I didn't appreciate, then I'll you know, and I'm and I'm not above apologizing, so I will apologize because you know, when you know when you care about people, you can tell when you hurt their feelings. And I think an immature person be like so what, they'll get

Yeah, I'm sorry that you you didn't like what I said. I hate to apologize feel that way. Yeah, no, don't. Don't.

Don't be apologizing about my feelings, apologizing about what you said to make me feel this way.

Take ownership, Chloe. You should be like a mediator or something. Yeah, in a past life maybe I would, or like a pastor's wife, a youth minister. You had it. I felt like you could do a little book. Little book, you can do a little fix your life. It's giving me a brad. I see it. I see it. You'd be Oprah in a sweatshirt. You're just sitting on a couch, mad comfy. What's the end goal for you? Like? What like in an ideal world, where would you end up an ideal world.

I have my own company now, but really bringing it to fruition, like from beginning to end. I want to write, produce, direct, you know, not necessarily starring, but appearing works that I create. I'm all about creating my own, my own thing. I don't really rely on other people to do stuff for me, and I think that comes from the bullying of being the only child. So I definitely want to incorporate people into my vision. But I'm just going to compromise who I am and what I want to achieve to fit

Oh that, I was like, that was like the most wealth thrown out answer to that question. I feel like you've been having that on you, Like, that's just a question that that out into the universe. She was, She was prepared city If I asked you the same question, would you even like my end goal?

Well, first of all, I want to believe in myself more because I have good ideas.

Take off the wigses, No, that's what the beliefs. You start tired of you, you gotta go. I mean that is it is is symptomatic. Bro so tired, I can't. I feel look like ship. My head looks crazy. No listen a lot of it. It's mainly for convenience. I understand it.

But you also realize that the convenience and sometimes is short changing you appreciating who you are. If you're constantly ignoring, it's like being fat. It's like, yeah, I could little work out, but I don't want to spend the time the hour and a half a day, or I don't want to change my diet. It's such easier to eat it. Like the convenience. Convenience can also kill you.

Hmm, what does My hair is not fat? Okay, it's not fat.

It's just financially unstable. It's extremely hard. And sometimes I'm just like as another woman telling a woman, like, well you should just you know, I feel like you could do this with your hair. It's like, can I come over my house and just help me?

Every day?

I'm more than willing to show you how to do different styles for yours.

There's tutorials all over. I see the tutorials and I see them and I'm like, that's nice, that's nice, but you don't believe it works for you. Listen, I could barely. That goes back to the due to coloring books. I can't draw in the lines how I'm going to set up my hair, but do these braids?

And what understand that that is a part of the confidence. So what I'm saying is that your hair is not literally your hair. It's symbolic of other things. So when you're saying that you're not confident, I wish I have more confidence. We're like, well we'll you're here. I don't want to do it because I don't feel like i'll do it. That's all of that is confident.

Damn dude. Full circle, Chloe, are you the hair? Because I'm feeling you are. I feel like you really are. Okay, So finish your goals. You said you want to be more confident. I just want to be more confident and my ideas because I have really good ideas, and when I flesh them out, I know that they can come to something bigger than what they are just in my head. And I think that's like where it first starts. Just making sure my ideas are on paper and me being

Once you sell yourself, then they always airmark you, especially if you're a person of color, and they're like, oh, we need a black woman. Okay, we have ten women that we've met and seen that we like, we just drop them in until one fits. And then also, you got to realize when you do pitches, everybody in the room, which is why I'm more prone to do stuff on my own or like with my own network of people.

Sometimes you just may have to do it on your own. Boom shacka lock a boom. Thank you, Chloe.

This has been so everything and more. I just I wasn't expecting it to be this deep. But also feel like, see you now you got crystals in your pocket?

Yeah? But you do got crystal stuff? You see pillow? Yeah? Do you put incense in your cervix? What's up? I feel like I feel like you had the energy, the chakras and everything you gotta. You gotta dreamcatch your tattoo on your lower back. You got a third eye on your clitter. What's up words, Chloe? Where can people listening catch you? Oh yeah, I have a podcast. Maria is

I have all my shows listed. Join my mailing list on my website Chloe hillary dot com. Jow my mailing list because I send out exclusives in the new year of video clips and show promotions and ticket sales and all that stuff. So join the list. And I'm on Instagram and Twitter. Chloe underscore Hilliard. Can you spell Hilliard?

H I L L I A R D Boomillard. You could catch us here every week or catch us on Patreon for Patreon episodes every freaking Wednesday. That was beautiful. This is so good. Sidney, come over here, let me grease your scalt. Will you do that for me? No? I wouldn't. Bye God,