Skidmarks on the Sofa

Forever. Hello, Well, is it me you're looking for? I should have said that. Okay, let's let's start over. Let's do it. No, no, no, no, no, we did it already. It's next next week.

No, you can do it next week, next week. Hello, no, no, no, no, I already said it. No no, no, Hurrie, come on no.

Can you hear me?

Yes, clearly, because I can't really hear myself, I can hear you, baby, yo.

When zoom dies, that is the day that we dance. Yes, I don't want no more zooms zoom zooms. Oh thank you.

I'm let me hear say wayo, wayo zoom zoom zoom zoom zoom.

And let me hear you say wayo. Whoa girl you're looking? Also fine, let me lick you up and down.

Nasty ass songs in the nineties they were so gross, so good.

That's real music, right.

There was time now, yeah, I mean, speaking of a better time. Last week, I had a great time with you listening to the episode.

My friend.

You know the people who reached out, y'all nosy as nosy nosy and you need to just simmer down.

Yeah, mm hmmm.

I wish I could provide that type of entertainment all the weekly, but weekly, but I can't you know what are.

About?

They just want to know who the person is, or am I in a relationship now?

Or this.

My ex note like stuff like that, and it's just like, we're not friends guys. Like I know, we say hey, friends, but we're not friends.

I mean we are friends.

I am pretty I respond all the time, but it's just like, why why you.

Want to know all this stuff? Come on?

Why can I just tell my business and you just be okay with it? This why I don't never want to tell my business?

Yo? Speaking of telling your business.

So that episode was so juicy that the person that I'm sleeping would listen to it and now and now he's actively listening to the podcast. He sent me a message today and said, literally at literally ten minutes ago, I don't know why, but I want to do poppers all of a sudden.

Tell me why. I was mad but turned on listening dead ass.

Yes, he listened to the E Preyho episode, which he told me he was not going to listen to. So I just some reflecting this week. I had to listen to some old episodes too to see what what we've been talking talking about over the last year.

Well, oh, let's review, friend.

I mean, I feel like people, of course, people think that we're all friends.

We be we be very graphic on here, very detailed. What's the most graphic thing that was said on the pod? I mean anytime we say the words squirting, that's pretty graphic. Friend. That's like, if I.

Wanted to run for office in a couple of years, we gotta scrub the internet of this episode, all of these episodes. I wouldn't recommend you running for office because I want I want my friend happy.

You know you don't. You don't see me as a city compatroller. You don't see as a da Foston.

You don't see that, No, because you'll be miserable. I think that's that's what I don't want. I want a happy Marine, And I know that that won't happen with you doing any type of political anything.

Sidney. You don't know my life.

Maybe next year, maybe this last year was whole year, this year is sad year, and next year is politics. Well, you know, obviously I'll support whatever you're doing because i'm your better half.

But you know my better half, so I I am my worst half. Heard you. Thank you for breaking down the mathematics for me. Thank god. Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow wow Marie.

I want to ask you. Wait, I don't know if we do. I remember, have we talked about this?

What you want your wedding? That looked like no, no, I want wedding.

You talked about your wedding.

Yeah. I want to know about you, Marie? What about Can you give me a can you give me a recap when your wedding? I don't remember what you said. I don't remember either, but.

You talked about wanting Marie to potentially walk you down the aisle.

I think didn't know she asked me to be her best man best man. I did say that, and I said I was gonna wear a little suit.

Can I wear yellow?

Can I wear like a yellow TUXI like a yellow fitted suit to your wedding. I think that feels like easter, and no, it's gonna be like, uh no, it would be hot. I don't know. It might be a little easter. But I look good and yellow. I mean I also look good in red. Yeah, but then I would have to have my wedding like the color coordinated with like white and yellows.

Okay, okay, So what's the wedding colors? Friends? So I could pick out the suit. I don't know yet. But we we're not talking about me. We talking about you. What's your wedding? Don't look like? What would get if you get married? What? Like?

What kind of dress? How many people? Where are we gonna be? Is a destination?

Are you? I don't.

I don't think it's destination. I think it's here. I think it's here in New York.

Can Jam come?

Hell?

No, yeah, Jim can't come.

Jam is perched over Sidney's shoulder like the Angel and devil in.

Like cartoon times. He's both. He's both the Angel and the devil.

Yes, that's how much space he's taking up on Sidney's shoulders.

I think the wedding is here. I think it is in my mind.

It's not big, but you know it's gonna be a big deal because I'm gonna be super famous, so everyone's gonna.

Want to come. That's in the next five years.

No, I mean, I realistically don't know if I want to get married, But no, I don't think in the next five years. I don't want to get married until after I've been in a couple entanglements with some Hollywood people. You know, I said, in the next five years is a lot of time, friend, five years is.

Not enough time to really hold it up in Hollywood.

I feel like I need a good eight to ten years to like really be nasty. You know, you've already lived your life. Okay, it's no, I haven't, Sydney.

No, I have not lived my life. No one's ever spit in my mouth.

Wow, Okay, I thought that was last week.

On to the next.

Yes, And I'm just I'm just saying that that's never happened to me. So, like, how can I settle down if I've never wanted someone to do that?

Like?

Have I ever been in love? You know, Like I feel like that is.

Said that you might be last week.

Yeah, yes, yes, but that's that's we're talking about the past. And have up until this point, had I ever been in love and to have them put their spit in my mouth?

Already doing it though with you?

Yeah, that's true, yes, yes, yes, yes, but that's not the same as.

Oh, it's not like that, friend, It's it's way more second.

It's it's no, no, it's it's a just a like a one too you know.

Okay, So I don't know. I've been to some really cool weddings. Have you going to one?

Carolina's wedding is going to be a picnic wedding and everyone has to wear white.

I like that. I just you know, you.

Want the photos to look good realisticly, that's all that matters is do the photos look good after the wedding is over. Yeah. It's just I feel like people spend so much money on weddings and it's just one day, you know, but not.

Every wedding has to be crazy expensive.

You know, you said a budget that's realistic and then you just.

Got to stick to it.

I think weddings are expensive typically because people invite too many people. We're inviting people because I'm mom is like, oh, well you're your sister's cousin's aunt.

First grade teacher wants to come. You have to invite her, and it's like, no, no, I don't.

But to be honest, it's like, after this pandemic, people really have figured out what exactly they want to do and where they want to go, and if they don't feel like going to your wedding, they're not going. So I actually think people are more inclined to say no now to weddings.

I mean, were you not saying no to weddings before this?

Oh?

Definitely.

I mean, but there was a couple of years that I was just like saying yes, yes, yes, yes yes. And it's like, why am I going all the way to Maine? Like why am I doing this?

Like?

I love that you're in love, but I don't know. I can't.

I can only go to like my best friend's weddings right now. I think that's where I'm at. It's so funny that you described a whole destination wedding that you want us to go to. Feels very aggressive for you to think that I got it like that.

You will because you will be famous and rich. It sounded like the wedding was in May, so I don't know in May? Will Marie? You're gonna blow up? You.

You keep putting out content on Instagram that I'm like, I can't even believe we're friends.

Oh, yes, the week video I'm gonna do. You're so funny. I'm gonna do a series. I think you should.

It's really really good writing. You look great. You're so funny. I mean, I can't even keep up. I was like, I'm gonna do a video, and I was like, you know what, no, never mind, But I think that's what social media is now, right like or for me anyway, Like I'll see somebody put something up or post something and I'm like, oh, yeah, I too should post, and then it's like it's like do I maybe tomorrow? And then it's like a, it's not peak posting hours. Let me wait till.

Thursday at tenna it you know it's and then I won't post anything for like two weeks.

But everything that you do put up is gold and it's really inspiring and it makes me feel like, wow, I'm we're thriving. When I see your posts do well, I'm like that was us.

Look at us thriving. Yes, yes, we're doing very well. You know.

I write real, sappy, transparent posts that go that do really well, and then you do funny stuff and I'm like, this is why we work.

What's the last sappy post that you posted.

About my three year anniversary? And just like really happy that you know I made it. And I know that there's tons of people who didn't make it through the quarantine, either with sobriety or just like they didn't live. So I'm like just really blessed to be where I'm at, and I'm like hoping and praying that anybody who's reading it is like, can still go on because there is hope.

Mhm.

You said all that while you were sending a text. No, I said, you're setting Jam. I'm petting Jam. I'm petting Jam.

But I'm saying that that still is valid. I can pet my cat and hit you with some philosophical I can pet my cat and hit you with some facts. That's what I thought you were gonna say. Last night, I was up watching the DMX Snoop Dogg Versus. It was I love your transition, bitch. It was because because what were we just talking about? We were talking about No, I was talking about my sappy post. Yes, yes, and then I said pet my cat and I wrapped, and I was like, oh.

DMX anyway, It was really it was really good. They're like such.

Old ass uncles, Like it was fun to watch these two guys, Like, I mean, DMX is out of shape, but.

He was expect do you expect him to be?

Yeah, but he's he's really funny.

We should get him on the knit. We should get DMX wave.

He's really funny the two of them together, like funny old dudes? Why were they so funny? Like, give me some lines? That was funny.

I mean I saw Snoop Dogg dancing and I was like, okay, yes, Uncle Snoop his eyes. I was like, does he have a thyroid problem? I don't know it just no. I think maybe we just are used to him always having sunglasses on.

Maybe, and then when he takes his off, You're like, oh, snap, he got the Wendy Williams eyes.

But like, yes, ma'am, no offense.

Anybody listening out here who is battling thyroid problems and has Wendy William's eyes. Shout out to y'all, shout out to you look at my eyes always. You guys could see, though, Andrew, what would your wedding look like?

I was thinking about that. I've seen some like really cute, uh weddings like on top of like Brooklyn rooftops. I think that's cute, like small, intimate Sydney. How many She doesn't agree?

No, no, no, Me and Marie went to a rooftop wedding.

Yeah, who's wedding we go to?

That was on Ryan Oh that was nice. Yeah, it was really pretty. Yeah, yeah, that.

Would be cute. I don't want to how many you think?

You think in like fifty people, you think in one hundred people, you're thinking less.

I'm twenty people people is enough.

I feel like fifty is like more than enough. Right, It's like, think about like how many people like you actually like can like chill with. Like it's not more than fifty people, right.

But that's you, We're not what what is your man bring into the relationship? How many people?

That's true?

Yes, I'm like, how could you think about you? Andrew?

Andrew, Andrew, you're already ready for marriage thinking about you and not even thinking about him.

I think you're ready.

I'm clearly so ready. It's like this got one hundred seems like maybe.

Maybe seventy five. No, I think one hundred people is proper.

I don't I want my husband to bring more people than I do.

I think that might okay, So.

Then maybe maybe you don't bring you're not bringing fifty, Maybe you're bringing twenty five people.

Five, Yeah, maybe maybe.

You're bringing thirty.

You're inviting thirty people to the wedding, right, yeah, I mean yeah, I feel like seventy five to one hundred people, it feels like more.

Than enough wedding guests.

Yeah, because you got to feed these people and you have to pay at least one hundred per per plate at least I mean, I mean, I guess it depends on what the catering situation is.

Like I went to a wedding.

In San Francisco a couple of years ago, and they got married in their backyard and then.

We like had like a parade route to some park and it.

Was like food trucks like all over the place.

And that's what the reception was, was us like eating.

Outside right that I don't feel like that was one hundred dollars a person. But again I don't know how much food trucks cost, you know, but it was nice. They had like a band come and they we marched down like through the streaks.

That's really beautiful.

Now, how expensive was it for you to like go to this wedding. Well, I was with somebody at the time, and I feel like he paid for my plane ticket, so it was FREEKD for me.

Also, I think he paid for the airbnb, So it was like a reding. This wedding. You just showed up.

I just showed up. I just showed up and called the bride the wrong name. Okay, now, do you know iconic? Do you believe that if like your partner or whatever is invited to a wedding and you're their plus one, do they have to pay for you?

They don't have to pay for you.

But if you're if I'm saying I don't know if I want to go, like if I'm saying, oh, I don't know if I want to go to this wedding, I don't know.

If I have it and you want me to come, then yeah, get it.

Come about those pockets, right, because I wasn't planning to fly to San Francisco.

These are his friends. Yeah, we're his people.

And I was like, I've met them once or twice, but like not enough to jump on a plane for them.

Yeah, and then San Francisco is not cheap. No, like the city itself.

Is not cheap.

Right, Hey, San Francisco, Remember when we were there in January? Doesn't that feel like nine years ago? Nine fucking years ago. I saw the pictures and I was like, damn man, we did not realize how beautiful this moment was until.

Now, shout out to Byron Bauers.

Oh we missed him, Ah, I should we should reach out to him.

He was so funny and bizarre. Yeah, he was really great. He was talking about mushrooms and banging old ladies.

Yes, yeah, he did talk about that, and I was like, hmm, do I want to be that person?

I mean, Marie, what's the oldest you've ever been with? Ten years older than me? Okay, so that's ten years older than me.

I was I was like twenty two, it was thirty two, and now thinking about it.

First of all, I would never.

Date a man that was that much younger than me. A twenty two year old doesn't know anything.

To the twenty two year olds that are listening to this, you guys are smart.

But like, what are you talking to with twenty one or hey, Andrew, what are you twenty one or twenty two years old about?

Like, I don't know, I don't know. Oh, my laptop is going to die. I need to charge it. City. What's the oldest that you not? Not that? Not that old?

Maybe when I was younger, probably ten, probably ten. I mean I was I was pulling stunts when I was in college. I was making not great choices. And now looking back on the people that were I remember when I dated this guy because I thought he was rich, because oh my god, remember dating people because he thought they had money.

I thought, all right, his name was I forgot about that.

His name was James, and I actually remember his last name too. This when I tell you he bamboozled the fuck out, did you?

Why did you think he was rich?

He had one well one He lived on west End Avenue and that's a that's a really good avenue.

That's like old money in New York City, So you know he was He was a butler.

No, he worked for I think like finance or something like that. Okay, like or like JP Morgan or something, and you know, more money, more money. But he was going through a divorce and I think I think his wife or whatever X or whatever was taken him for everything everything. And he lived he lived in a in a brownstone, so Brownstone, finance, Olden. He has a car Weston money. I was like, oh, go to his place, fucking dungeon like it was. It was a Brownstone, but

Please don't turn on the lights. Turn on the lights. Yikes, is that a bug? Wait?

You said, please don't turn on the lights. I need to see what's happening in here. Turn on all of the lights. No lights, no grassy Yes, but we did, and then I obviously had sex with him because I was like on the floor.

I was, no, one is really really yucky.

Velvet green couch that looked like it could possibly be in like a vampire's like apartment or whatever, a velvet green couch. Since he found that couch on the street, Yes he.

Did, he did. He was not stooping on stooping NYC. That's where he found. Yeo, that was a bedbug couch.

Hooked up with him bad like penis flaccid, like just last ye like. But I was like, you know what, I don't have a lot of money right now, and this guy is going to take care of me.

Yo.

When I tell you he asked me for money? Oh how much money? I wanted to throw my whole body away? How much money did he ask you for for like four hundred dollars for what rant something didn't like go through and like he had like paid for alimony or something like that. I don't know, and so his account was frozen and he needed to pay for something for his son d his son for his son that was the same age as you girl, pretty much basically. And

Bitch?

Absolutely not, are you crazy? I gave him one hundred anyway. So it was such a bad situation and I'm just so glad that I got out of it knowing my worth. So your worth is one hundred dollars, Your worth is negative three hundred dollars.

Yo. His car was so beat up.

He was like, this is like vintage, and I was like, does that mean you need to throw it away?

Like what? Such not a cute car, it was.

That's not how you do an old dude, and that's definitely not how you try to get a be a sugar baby.

But the way he presented himself it seemed like.

Oh, he's got it coins on coins on coins.

That didn't happen.

It was really embarrassing and It reminded me of like how I need to do better. Yeah, well, that reminds me of the time I went to this man's house because I also thought he was rich.

It might have been the same.

No, this guy lived in Brooklyn and that your guy was white. No he was black.

Don't do that. Don't do that.

Don't you don't don't Alex English me, Okay, sorry, this guy was black and he was like, honestly thinking about it now, he might have been like a cool one, like so yeah this okay. So I realized my answer about the oldest person that I but we didn't Okay, So I go to his house. I think we met on like Black Bitch set the scene. I think we

Am I dating myself right now.

I had to like google it on the computer because I didn't have dad or on my phone.

And I get to his house. He had a.

Brownstone also, and I think he was also going through a divorce.

But I yo, it be these dudes.

Yeahs, yes, yes, because like when I was in my early twenties, I looked like I was in my early twenties, Like I didn't.

Look older, Like I've never looked older than what I am.

So it's like if i'm if I'm twenty or I'm twenty one, then I look nineteen. And this guy was like kind of like a Mario whining situation, like I don't want yeah, but like he had like a salt and pepper beard, and he was I want to say he was bald ish, but like he was. He had like a big, strong, maybe retired from some sport body. And I remember going to his house and I remember his like walls were painted all like really bright colors.

I remember that, like I remember it was like lime green or something.

I was like, oh, this see must be Jamaican or from Grenado or some it was very bright, obnoxious colors. And I don't know what the hell I expected when I went to this I had never even met this man before. There's so many, so many instances where I just went to some man's house just for the sake of like bonus, Like honestly, I don't know what's gonna happen, but I'm gonna go, like not necessarily for sex, but like yeah, he asked me to come over, I'm coming over.

Oh my god.

I should have been fine, which I should have been murdered so many times.

Oh we all should be sick.

I should Yeah, I should have died like at least sixteen times. But I've just had like my my instincts, Like my instincts were like tingling, Like.

I felt like I needed to get out.

Of there, like I we got to trust our good at all times.

I left.

I made up some excuse and I left because it was like awkward, and he was he had used some old ass photos of himself on his profile, because I.

Was like, what kind of filter did he use?

I think this is before, Well this is back when you had to like take a picture and then scan it and to like upload it into the computer all grainy, Like I feel like he did one of those things, but he did it with like his like high school.

Football photo or something like that. Because I got there, I was like, is your son is He was like forty four.

Yeah, you gotta got your gut if your instincts are saying, I gotta get out of here.

Or I don't want to be here, then you make up that excuse and you leave you you dip.

Because I'd rather be safe and seem a little bit crazy than like spare your feelings and then be dusty green velvet couch and then have him ask you for like four hundred dollars.

Fuck.

And the sex with those people is never good. It was so bad, like it felt like sex. Remember when Jada Pinkett and set it off Sony was having sex with that.

Oh my god, I'm in a bind, Nate. Yeah, Nate, yep, I'm in a buying Nate, I'm in a buye Nate. Yeah.

And she's just in that dirty ass hotel and he's on top of her. He's greasy looking. That's exactly he was. This guy was bald, it was Yeah. The sheet is only on like half the mattress.

I never think she was at his health.

I'm so no, they were in a hotel. I'm so glad that I'm that will never happen to me again. Never, I'll never be I'll never be in a bine like that.

Nate.

Okay, So cut cut fast forward six years. You are up for the role of the lead of some movie m the director wore. One of the producer there is ask you to meet him at his hotel for for lunch.

Something like that, like you actually eat with them.

Yeah, they say, Okay, I'm gonna run up and get the script.

I'm gonna run up and get the blank right. Actually, yeah, you want to run up and come come get it with me. We'll come right back down. You're going up to the room to get the script, to get the script.

No, you're saying, no, they will send the script to my people. Okay, you've had you've just had a great lunch. Yeah, maybe you had a niche swaz a salad or something like that, whatever it is.

I'm sorry. As a sober person, food just tastes like food.

There's never enough food to be like, yeah, let me go up to this nigga's hotel room. Like whenever I've had such a great lunch, it's because I've been blasted, so wasted out of my mind, like twelve glasses of champagne.

No, you've never had a good sober lunch.

No, oh, never, what I've had great, I've had great lunches with you.

Marie.

I'm gonna say I find that offensive we've had no maybe had great lunches together, but not I'm gonna have sex with you later or go to your place. Well, he's not implying that you're gonna have sex with him. He's just saying, I'm assuming if you're talking about it. Script, it's in quotations.

The script is because the script is also digital.

Yeah. Script.

Okay, So maybe he needs to get I don't know what directors the story board.

I don't know. He needs to go get.

Something upstairs and he says he says, oh, yeah, I'll meet you back down here, and then he goes, actually, no, just come right up.

We'll be right back. You're going upstairs.

I would like test it out and like see like what happens when you say no, you know, like how they sort of respond to that, Like are they would they be okay with you saying no to that?

I mean they have to be. I don't think that they have a choice. If I'm telling you, if I.

Said one time, let me tell you an the story. Okay, Oh, this was the old girl, this old old dude. Awful man. I was so dumb in my early twenties.

This guy, he had to be in his fifties and I I was in my early twenties and I met him through my like promoter friends, and you know, he would always be out and you're like, oh, he's got to be investor. He's got to be an investor of this club, because why is his old ass here?

He he And.

That's how they that's how they get you sometimes, right, Like you see somebody old or me anyway in New York and I'm like.

Oh, he must be like a finance syeare or something like that.

He must have some money, and then it's just like just an old person like living in a basement. It mean, it's really mean. And that's why you just can't assume with these people. But like he did have money, but he wasn't gonna give it to me. But he thought I was gonna give him some like just because just because I thought his status was enough for us to have sex.

And it's just like no, sir.

So, like I went up to this hotel and he's talking like he took me to dinner, and it was just embarrassing being at dinner with him because it was clear everybody was looking at us like this bitch is a hooker, a prostitution. Har there was just no reason why me in this like American apparel to dress that's like tangerine color.

Yes, that was that was good dress.

Honeys feeling it in my Steve Maddens that are missing the middle part of yes.

And then Jessica Simpson with.

You get that tap tap tap when and then I would walk on just one heel and so you just oh, I was struggling. Oh man, I missed those fucking days. No you don't, Yes, I do. Okay, So you go to the hotel room and it's clear that he wants to hook up and kiss, and I'm like, and then, so how do you how do you dodge a kiss from an old, rich person in his hotels? I'm an actress, Like, I can't boot, but I can't act when I want.

I started crying.

I was like, I cried about something that went on that day that I was upset about.

I was.

I think I started crying about money actually, oh. And he was like, oh, well, it looks like we're both trying to get each other right now. And then and then he told me he had cancer.

I was like, what the fuck? How do you beat me? How do you beat me with it.

After he told you he had cancer, you sucked his dick or no, I did not. I was like I started crying because he had cancer. And then like years later he died, so he really didn't have cancer. Because at first I was like he's lying, and then later on he was not lying about the cancer.

You but how do you hit the cancer at somebody? For sex? Can know anybody what right? It gets you dry?

So maybe that's maybe that's that's something somebody listening, it's gonna be they get out of jail free card. Maybe you know you're in a situation with somebody that you don't want to have sex with, and you you do a little bit of Sydney and you do a little bit of this man, you cry and then when they ask you what you're crying, you say because you got canceled, and then you don't have to have sex with this person.

I'm truly disappointing myself. Why you didn't wait, did you have s No?

I didn't look, but I really thought, yo, I was I was city girls, but like.

The bad kind. Yeah, I mean, and I think that's the thing.

Like fresh out of college, you're like you're in you're in New York City. You're like, Oh, everybody here has money except me. I'm gonna give some of this money. I remember, I think I told this story on here before. I was at Barnes and Nobles in Union Square, so Marnes and Nobley and this I was in there charging my phone and they this.

Guy walked by the edge of the aisle and.

I think we made like eye contact for a second, and then he kept going and then I saw him come back the other way, and I'm like, this man is watching me. This like slovenly, like sloppy beige man is watching me. And I guess he finally musted up the courage to come over because he was like a.

He was like, hey, I just can't stop. Look you are striking or whatever. And I was like, I'm gabing you, which is true? You are?

Yes, yes, I think I had straight back corn rows that day. So I was like, who are you talking to? Obviously, Queen the tefish is your type. And look that's a look friend, Thank you so much. And he was like, Oh, he's a director or a producer or something and he's working on something. He just finished some movie. Some Mike Tyson documentary or something, and it's like, can I take

He's like big and sweaty, and I was.

Like, hey, hey, hey, it's okay to be big and sweaty. Some of our closest listeners are big and sweaty.

Yeah it's hot. Some of them don't have a CS.

Okay, I'm not talking about any of the people who are listening. Just imagine sloppy, sweaty.

Patchy beard, creepy white man.

That's nobody that's listening is that is all of those things at the same time. So he's talking to me, he's like, I have a script. I'm gonna send it to you, blah blah blah. He's like, oh, I'm having lunch with Tom Cruise or dinner with Tom Cruise tonight or tomorrow. And I was like, oh, okay, I'm having I too. Am I having dinner with Tom Cruise? What am I gonna wear it to?

Tom Cruise? I went to like Strawberry and Rainbow and Marshalls. No, you hate those places? Do we? Okay? So the next day he called.

Me and he was like, okay, so I'm meeting up with Tom at such and such time. I think it was a text. I'm meeting up with Tom and such and such time. And I'm like, okay, well I'm waiting for the address.

He's like, okay. So after we're done.

Eating, Znamma hits you up and you can come by the hotel to run these lines.

Good excuse you. I'm not good enough to eat with Tom Cruise. I'm not good enough to eat with Tom Elizabeth Cruise.

But after he sent me that mes to down, I was like, oh this is this man is disgusting, Like he really thinks that he is a shot with me and my straight back cornrows. So I like, I made up an excuse and I didn't go last year. All this stuff, like when all the meat Too stuff came out, his name was eat all the meat too stuff.

No, it was me too and people. Yes, what's his name? James Tobek?

You did tell me about this guy? I remember that story. Yeah, if you google him right now, like you'll see his face and you'll see what I'm talking about.

And none of our listeners look like that.

Okay, yeah, m.

But what like all all the meat too stuff happened?

His name was like right there, like at the top, well underneath Bill Cosby and Weinstein. But he was like, oh he looks disgusting.

Yikes. Can you imagine? Can you imagine young.

Sexy Rezie and this man I'm gonna come back to the hotel.

Yeah, but what kind of dress were you wearing?

Well, when I was in Barnes and Nobles, I don't even know if I had a dress on.

This somebody had on some you know, coty cut of shorts. Oh my god. He walks by with his little fedora. I'm like, ah, no, sir, you know this.

Why does he look like I'm not gonna say who, but somebody like a bigger who somebody from that festival. Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, he looks like a very prominent festival person that be booking people anyway. Like, I mean, we've all had sex that we regret, We've all have hookups that we regret, but that is something that I do not regret at all. Like there was no way I was letting that anywhere inside me or on top of me.

I'm proud of.

Me, but it's like realistically that you don't have to be proud of me about that for like I would never fir Hey, man, I've done some I can't talk about it on the pod, but yeah, you get okay, youre gonna say for the patreon, I think so. I think I'll save it for the Patreon. But also it's just like, you know, I want somebody to to want me forever, and I need to start figuring out what I'm gonna put on the pod.

Wait wait wait wait wait wait, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, wait, hold on, shut it up. What you want somebody to want you forever?

So you are not gonna You're gonna be more careful about what you say on the podcast now.

So it sounds like somebody might have got in trouble. No, I didn't get in trouble, but they were like, you know, some things you gotta keep for us yeah, and by us, I mean me in the pod. That's what I'm saying. This is us.

I know, but I have to have to be better. I want you know, I couldn't imagine someone I couldn't be. I couldn't imagine being on the other side, someone having a beautiful podcast with tons of listeners just hearing my you know, every little secret and intimate moment.

It's just wrong.

We should actually go to jail for all of the stories that we've told. Someone thinks that they're sharing a moment with us, and it's like, Bam, Jeff, Jeff from Minnesota heard everyone, Jeff from me a sorta look.

These things happened.

I mean, I'm with you now in that he's actively listening to the like episodes of the podcast, and they'll send me screenshots of the episodes when he's listening, and I'm like, oh, he's at twenty six minutes in. Let me see what we said at twenty six minutes in, because.

I know that's good that he's sending you like time time slots or whatever.

No, he's sending me shots of him listening. He's not saying this is where I'm at. I'm just I'm using my eyeballs, and I'm like, okay, this.

Is oh shit, Okay, damn.

But I mean we do say some wild things on here, but for the most part, I stand by what we've said.

Like, did you stand by what you say? You're a monster?

What?

An alien? What? I resent that Marie can do no wrong? What are you talking about? We can say mean things about people. She can be problematic, and everybody's like, this is so funny.

I'm obsessed.

So I can say mean things about people and people will be upset, Like people get upset.

When they maybe hurt and offended.

When we have one we have one person right here who has been upset by things that I've said before that was in the past.

I'm talking about recent.

It's always in the past when it's with me.

The past. And I thought we got past that.

You know, we're talking about Marie's relationships with people. And yeah, it happened. I'm sure it will happen again.

Yeah, yes, Oh, I'm sure it's gonna happen again. Andrew, what's the what? Where did you ever have a situation where you were going to hook up with somebody and you've changed your mind at the last minute, or you were like, ah, my spidy senses are telling me that I need to get.

Like like all the time. I'm just like, yeah, I don't want to be here. I already sort of like got everything I needed. I don't need to put myself at risk to just like for what exactly. You know, you just go home and then I mean you just masturbate, and it's like that's the same. That's the safest option.

So it is the safe option. It's the safest option, but it's not the funnest option.

Yeah, but wouldn't you rather hook up with someone that's like okay, like you know, you know, I don't like thinking about like creepy guys being creepy with a bunch of other people. You know, It's like how many times does it work out? Yeah, So I don't want to be another.

And guys that are creepy. Guys that are creepy do have.

Sex all the time, not all the time with everybody, all the time they are having sex. Well, the problem is is that creepy people pick and choose when they're gonna be creepy, so they'll always be that one fucking bitch just like he's not creepy to me.

Yeah, yeah, they're creepy.

Creepy girl, listen, listen, you are not You're the exception. And also you don't know, he's not creepy right now, but you know, uh twelve vodka tonics and who knows. Yeah, But also everybody has different tastes, right, Like somebody that's creepy to you might be.

Mysterious to somebody else.

Somebody that's that's nasty to you is might just be a Taurus.

It's experienced to somebody else.

You said, a taurus. Yeah, so yet there's Captain Savor groups out there. They love that weird stuff. But I'm I just want I want my normal, like, oh this this makes sense type behavior. Don't don't be creepy, don't be gross, don't be sweaty, don't beat James, don't be that.

I don't know.

Yeah, there's a there's a club promoter in New York that sort of like scoops up every like young day that moves to Manhattan for college, and they just just like scoops them all up and says, come to my parties. Come to my parties. And the parties like they are I guess, like they're fun. And there's a lot of people there. I've been to a few, Like when I was like freshly twenty one, I went a few times and then I could.

Say you're too old now, well you aged.

Also, I didn't give the guy what he wanted. He was like, come, I come out to dinner before one of my parties, like I have, like I think, he said, I have a job for you, and I'm like, no, a job.

You didn't even you didn't even go to see what the job wasn't.

Because he was already like mean to me at like a few points where he was like passive aggressive because he already had like hotter uh gay men like flaunching all over him. And some of my friends have like done sexual favors for him to just get women into his parties.

And I'm like, no, uh wait wait wait wait wait what wait his friends have done Your friends have done favors for him to get women into his parties.

It was like it was his New Year's Eve party.

I'm sure they love that one.

Yeah, I'm sure people that listen are familiar with him.

Okay, we're gonna talk off the record, then I would love to know who you're talking about.

No, I mean he's a creep and everyone, like everyone for the most part knows it. But like I mean, like when you were talking about, like when we were talking about like creepy defenders, there's so many creepy defenders because they he'll fly them out to like Disney World and Hawaii and they'll just like do all these like crazy things, and you.

Know what, Okay, give us examples of what some of the crazy things that they're doing for him.

I just want to know, like how much Hawaii is for me.

I don't know because I haven't been on these trips.

You're like set the seed. Yeah, you know, but.

Now I haven't been. But like it's it's just a sex trip. They have private jets.

It's just a sex trip. There's no Jeffrey Epstein sex trip Island. Literally that's the sex trip.

But think about the sex that you've had for free in Brooklyn.

I'm not gonna say that.

Think about all the locally farmed dick that you had to sit on here at least a flight and you know, maybe some barados.

You might get.

You might get a nice a nice continental breakfast too, you know.

Emotional of doing something like that.

But think about but think about all the bad sex that you've had here, at least you get some passport stamps.

Yes, but bad say I come out of bad sex being like okay, like it wasn't like the worst thing in the world. Like now I know I don't like this thing. You know, we're in the future, I don't. I don't need to go on this sex trip where I know that it's just going to be like a sex trip that I don't like having sex with a person if I know I'm already gonna not enjoy them, why why do it?

I know I've done that, I've done like I could tell the way this person is walking, the stroke gonna be trash. But it's like I gotta just I gotta just try it out and see, because you know, it made me laugh a couple of times. But like, you know, life is crazy. I think it's funny. I I now, at this point in my life, I don't. I'll take it back because I'm saying I think I don't. I wouldn't get on a jet to have sex, but I would.

I would absolutely still do that at the age of right now.

Yes, yeah, I'm sorry that I will at least at least at least one time.

I wish I could, you know, be your partner in crime with that.

That would be fun just to see, just you know, and it we'd be in the same room and I see you getting bad, dick, and no, no, no.

No, no, see that. I'm not No.

If I'm getting on a plane, it's if it's a private plane, it's private room, it's private balcony, it's private everything.

But no, but we're supposed to be having like a tag team moment. I have a question a tag team moment.

So so I'm having tiens with this person and then I'm gonna tag you in.

That's what you're saying, because that's what a tag team is. Friend, Oh, I don't know what tag team means.

Then I have a follow up question from last week's episode. Yeah, yes, okay, talking about uh sex scenario between the two of you. Yeah, yess your current sexual partners and both of your sexual partners have listened to the episode. Yeah, okay, is there any updates on that?

My dude, My dude is always ready to go, so he said he can pull up, he can be here in ten minutes. If we say yes, Sidney, what did she say?

Is she down? She said do it? I don't think she got to that point of the episode. Oh yeah, that was right at the end. Yes, yep, it was at the very end that yeah.

Yeah, drop a bomb at the end.

Yeah, you know, we always gotta have a twist for the listeners. I don't know we're gonna have a twist. Are we gonna have a twist now? Because we're pretty much on end? Yeah, we're at the end of the episode. I don't know. I mean I asked the question last week.

Is there something that you want to ask this week for the twist or a question that you want the audience to answer for us?

Is it okay to be butt naked on your couch? Is it? Is it gross? Or is it? Is it what everybody's doing? It's okay. I think it's okay because I do it here.

But are you putting a sheet down or a towel or sometimes are you sitting on a shirt Like I got a brand new cat Brant Duke and ass has been on it several times, and I'm like, should I feel bad about this?

Or are you you're not sitting on like a pair of folded shorts.

You're not sitting on this one. That's just to put something down.

I'm yes, yeah, I mean if I if I put a sheet on, and I might as well just put some shorts on. No, not necessarily, like I'll be I'll lay naked on the couch. But I don't think I'm sitting naked. So you're laying on the couch like you're dead in a casket, that's what.

That's how you're.

Laid out like titties smushed on the velvet, like watching something, or like laying on my back even but yes, but sitting like with my butthole open, like grazing the top fabric. I'm not like I I'll put some pennies on and sit on the couch, okay. Or I'm I'm if I like, if I get out of the shower and I have a towel on, I'll, you know, I'll take the towel.

Off and I'll sit on my couch.

But no, I'm not Andrew, Yes, yeah, because there's a huge difference between sitting and laying. Oh fuck you guys, it's a couch like just wipe your ass.

Well, I mean like jelly and jam like already have their on top of it.

Oh, oh, you know you're not on the couch that cats don't sit on the couch. They don't. They don't sit on the couch. He's going to be on top of the couch. They're not into the couch. They like sitting on the floor because it's hot in my apartment. So they just they just want to be where it's cool.

But they were just on your headboard. What's the difference this is?

This is they know that this is the the communal this is that's the climbing couch. That's like a floor, this couch. Sidney, you're saying that they've never been on your couch.

No they haven't. I must be because jam can't jump. I mean, Jelly can't jump that. They can jump. They just it's too hot. They don't want to be on that. It's velvet. Okay, we believe you look at me winking. So that's the answer.

That's the question for the pod this week is is it okay to sit but naked.

On your couch?

Sitting?

Sitting? Not yeah, sitting?

I guess the answer for Sydney, Yes it is okay, but I've done it. But then I went back, and I'm like, is this all right?

What I feel like during like quarantine especially, it's fine, Like, who's gonna sit on this couch? It's my couch.

I mean, well, my friends have come over and they sat on my Yeah.

I was sitting on that sex couch. Uh yesterday? Did it look nice? You liked it? I mean now I know that it's comfortable.

Now I know it's covered in skid marks, but it's not because I washed my ass and then I get on the couch. Anyway, this week was fun. I did not smoke, but I feel high. So look at that. That's what That's what it feels like when you're when you're friends with your better half, my.

Better half, Andrew, thank you so much for we didn't we didn't figure out a title.

Fun right now off the top of your head.

Naked on the couch, yeah, butt naked on the couch, butt naked on a vilvid couch yeah, or skid marks on the couch like skid marks on the sofa.

Literation.

I like that, you know, I love a literation.

Or something about old people trying to have sights with young people like mister Burns, Daddy war books, Boks.

Daddy, horror books or damn Sydney.

It was something that you said, American apparel dress or something like that, like mm hmm, I think something along the lines of one of the things that y'all just said.

Yeah, we'll figure it out, We'll figure it out. Okay, we're good.

Yes, I just need to take a sip of water. I don't really have any final words for you guys either. I mean, after last week, I'm exhausted. I'm still tired from what we're from last week. You're thirsty, friend, I've been having a blast, so yeah, God is good.

I love this for you. I do. I really love this for you.

I'm do I look happy, you look you look a little tired.

Si Okay, someone wrote fuck you someone are well rested, but also like you've been up late nights.

I looked at some of the Yes, they're extremely hilarious, witty, and shady as hell, not to mention Dropdad gorgeous, hands down my favorite podcast. I even pay for the Patreon. It's worth it to support these amazing women. If you don't love Marie and Sydney, you don't love yourself. Wait, please read the one that you screenshot me.

The other day.

I love that review more than I think anything we've gotten in recent time.

You know what I'm talking about.

Let me see hold on, let me see what I wrote my friend Hold on second, I mean, oh, okay, here we go.

Let's uh.

Ooh okay. Give them all your reviews and money. I've been listening to Sidney and Marie for years. I'm not super into podcasts, but this one has my this one has my forever loyalty. They are just too funny for me to ever stop. Their repertoire of comedy seeps into every conversation they have with each other and their guests. I'm cackling constantly. A few years ago, I got into a car accident. I was fine, but my car was gone, totaled, obliterated,

That visual is beautiful to me, iconic. I love it. I love it too. I love it and I love this podcast. Just keep reviewing, guys, keep reviewing.

I would love for us to get to one thousand reviews.

We're all from there.

We're at nine nine sixty three, So keep it going anyway, y'all, keep those going. We are going to stop right here. Thank you for listening to this podcast. If you have a story about a time that you had to trust your instincts, or you went to have sex with somebody and you were like, actually no, we would love to hear it.

Send those to us.

And also send us maybe like a quick description of what your wedding would look like?

Where for myself? Hit us with a why, where's it gonna be? Who's gonna be there? How many guests? Yep?

And what your what your dream partner looks like?

Well, like what celebrity it looks like?

Yes?

Who would play them in a movie? Mm hmm. If you're with that person, send us their picture.

So we can tell you who would play them in a movie.

That's funny For the next.

Episode, Anyway begs guys, goodbye bye Forever.

This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Baham, Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Foreverdog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.