Penis Bagels

Forever.

Hey, hellove friends.

Wow, we're in the studio and it's fucking hot. And I'm not talking about temperature. I'm talking about Marie cut her damn hair. She is bald and so hot.

She's bald and the beautiful, bald and the reckless. I love it. I'm overwhelmed.

Yeah, you're doing a lot. I am I any for you to calm down. I'm just giving you the energy that you knew I was gonna give you.

Yeah, but I.

Spoke you on the phone yesterday and you gave me this energy already, So I feel.

Like I'm over it. Really. And also, when this.

Episode comes out, it's gonna have been two weeks, it's gonna have been two weeks, So you don't want I need you to give me two weeks from now energy.

So you don't want this two weeks from now energy. Marie, you get attention every day. Is this too much, Sidney? You're too much? You Sidney Elizabeth Washington is too much?

Why?

I don't know why? It feels like a lot.

Do you think I'm really turned on? No? I just think that you need to stop screaming.

She's just complimenting you. I don't understand. Thank you to the compliment. I don't need more compliments from the same person about.

The same thing.

I like your arms, Sidney. I'm about to call Adrian right now and tell her to come.

Pick you up.

You look sexy, bitch, Come get your friendsis.

Can you also not try my cute little MAKEU wish? Right over there? Girl? I will leave, I will leave, I will get up and go. Okay, I'm not going to say anything. You talk right.

Hi, guys, welcome to this week's episode. If you're listening to it now. Today is the day after I shaved my head, so that's why she's excited.

Uh but uh, you know I'm out here.

I washed my hair in the shower for the first time last night and it was almost or gasmic.

I was like, oh, hair is canceled, like I will never have hair. It was beautiful.

And then I shaved all of the hair on my body so I could be fully bald. That's what I did last night. And she is so aerodynamic now.

So the cat is bald to the you know what the cat got like whiskers? I got a little strip. Okay, hmm, I'll do the strip. So how do you do that do you near it or do you raise.

Her?

But like, I don't really have a lot of like thick hair down here. If you could tell about my edges, that's exactly how my cat.

Is is hungry. Look your your pussy looks like Jennifer Hudson and the cat's ah, whoa are we even friends? Jennifer Hudson looks like an Ashley homeless cat.

It's so it's so problematic. It's racist and homophobic.

Oh my god, it was so funny. And Taylor Swift is in.

The movie, yes, yes, but kid.

Kid Rock is upset about it or something. Why I know he tweeted that something about her.

I don't know.

He tweeted some mess about her, uh being a doorknob or something.

I don't know. I don't know.

Woty feel bad about Taylor Smith? But the movie looks terrible.

So you bawled all the way. Did you shave your your crack? Two? No, I don't know how to shave my crack. I don't know how to do that. Good, don't ever start. How do you do that?

Well, we were still supposed to get this Brazilian wax and we haven't.

This is true.

Well, I feel like I gotta let some hair go back and then we'll go go Okay, I mean you want to stripsy?

Where are you going? Oh?

You just want to get your ass wax than you're using me as an excuse.

But also we need to be doing more like simple life type things anyway, simple life, Yeah, like Paris and Hilton.

I'm so on brand, baby, classic Sydney, Sydney.

How are you doing this week? What's going on? Baby? I'm good.

I'm just gonna say this. The podcast is canceled. I can no longer say. It's just like every time I meet somebody that I don't want to listen to the podcast, they listen fucking listen, and it's just like, why are you doing this to yourself?

If you want to know about me, just talk to me personally. Yeah, but people and and y'all will listen to this right now.

And I feel like y'all can probably y'all know this more than anybody else. But people listen to this podcast and they think, oh my god, I listen to these girls every week for an hour. I know them right there. We say stuff on here that we forget that we said something.

Everything is a lie.

Yeah, you know, I haven't even I don't even have a passport and I've never left the country. You pray, baby, no one's eating, and all I do is pray.

Yeah.

Good Christian gay love Christian gay, that's what you are.

Thank you so much, because good is not the word. But uh yeah, same thing.

People that I don't want to find the podcast, People that like I'll go out on a date with or a hook up with, or be like, oh you know this, he could join the whotation. We'll find the podcast and listen, and then I can't. Then I can't talk about them. I'm not an evil person, but like, why are y'all listening to what we're talking about?

Go away?

Leave this podcast.

For the people who live in Alaska and Arizona and New Jersey.

They deserve this. This is for them. This is for people. For them. If you know me, stop listening to me. At work.

People have been sliding in my dms and because I said like, hit me up, But the people who are hitting me up, it's like.

Wait, what you mean you said to hit you up?

Because remember I was just like, oh, you know, I'm in this open relationship.

I'm looking for a slim buch hit me up and slim butch and everything. But a slim butch is sliding in my deal.

So fin fems No men, thick stop it.

It's not funny. No, don't my time.

I feel like we only have six straight male listeners.

There's other straight men listening. Oh, it's the e Prey Ho episode the influx.

Yes see, And that's the other thing that E Prey whole episode was for us. What are y'all doing it? I'm lowering my voice because I don't need people in my business like what's happening. We were supposed to enjoy that episode together, and then you were supposed to tell people about the past the next episode.

Of the podcast. Yeah, don't all go to Eat Prey Ho because okay.

Also, people have been messaging me since that episode, and everybody who listens to the podcast is a whole now they all insist.

I mean, they were hoes anyway, but.

Now when they're being a hoe, they say, eat prey it's in your name, in my name.

Well, you know, I don't know about that whole life, but I'm proud of you and everyone else that's following your journeys.

I think I'm really upset with you. Right now, I'm very disappointed in you.

Why are you disappointed in me?

Because what you just said and what we know to be true.

What's true is that you know I'm out here, just I'm here, you know, And.

If you can read between line and Sidney said she's out.

Here, I'm not out here out here, she's out listen.

I just feel like open relationships are dumb. They're just dumb. And if you're in an open relationship, you should just tell people you're having an affair because it sounds more fun.

So I do you want to tell your listeners that you have an affair? I'm not having an affair. Do you want to say?

No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that open relationships are weird. If like, I just wish I knew what was going.

On, and I don't wish that we could.

I wish we could all know what was going on. Honestly, I have nothing to say. I know, since you plead, I don't plead the fifth. I have nothing to say. But if somebody wants to, you know, take me up on my open relationship offer. They have been trying and you don't want the office that you've been getting I told you what I like, slim butch that's what I want.

What if it's just like a slim dude he's five seven, I will never go back to me. He doesn't have any facial hair. Do you hear me?

I don't want a man, but if he has a micro penis, I'm all set.

Patti wack dick.

I'm trying to get my credit together and I don't need a man messing my shit up.

Oh my god. So I checked my credit score for the first time yesterday. What is it? And I had never Andrew, do you know what your credit score is?

I don't, honestly don't know what credit score is.

Okay, Well, because I'm getting ready to move, I'm looking for apartments and I'm asking people like I'm talking to realtors and they're like, well, what's your credit score? And I'm like, I feel like it's good, and they're like, but what is it? And I'm like, well, the only thing on there are my student loans and they're.

Like, what is it?

So I never I don't know my blood type and I don't know I didn't know my credit score. So I went on creditcarma dot com and then I went back backspace and was like, is this safe? You know, because you gotta put like your social and your birth date and like the information people would need.

To like steal your identity. So I checked. My credit score is six sidy? Do you know what yours is?

Ah? N?

Good?

Like listen, if anybody ever try to take my information and do something with it, the cops are coming.

Credit score it's in the six hundreds? Is it in the five? This is the four.

I can't get in an apartment, Okay, but you can't get an apartment if it's in some some sixes.

You know, I can't get in an apartment.

Just know that my credit score is six hundred and eighty two. Well, that's not bad, it said fair. The website said fair. It didn't say good.

That's fair.

So what is a really good one? Then?

Late eight eight? Right?

So the the realtors that I've been talking to are like, oh, you need to have like a seven hundred and up, and I'm like, I'm just gonna lie and tell everybody I got a six ninety eight.

I mean, like, put a curve on my credit score, h curve on it, because how are you gonna do that? How are you gonna lie.

I'm just gonna tell them.

I'm just gonna lie when I tell them when they ask me on my Cris scores, and they're gonna paper then they're gonna run it. But I'm gonna have to also include uh at last two seasons of taxes.

And I didn't even do my taxes last year, so I'm.

Doing them, and well I'm doing them now because I applied for the extension.

But I have to.

And I didn't make no money last year or the year before. So it's like, do I have money to get in an apartment? The answerious yes, shout out to Vice Live. But yeah, you need uh a bio. I was like, I'm just gonna print out my website. You need your last two tax returns, UH bank statement, a letter from your landlord getting and a letter of employment. I'm never getting an apartment. Just to let you guys, I was like, this book report is gonna be thick.

I'm a chic vagabond.

I will be jumping from home to home in the stylish way.

With a plastic bag with all your stuff in it. It would be a total several totes. It would actually be underway luggage that.

You have at your home.

That's a lot is tiny. It is a carry on away. Come send us some more stuff.

Please. You gave us one two case we need another one. We're going away.

We're going to Miami for we can't actually me and a min are going I'm going to I'm chamm it im kimm' kim it and you know you need ID to get on the plane.

Oh, let's talk about my story. How I lost my passport? Right lost it fell out of my bag because you know I'm.

Bag ladies is really loud, It's just loud. Can we can we turn this down? Well, maybe I'll turn my head Wow, the haters from the sidelines, I'll cut my headphones down. Do you hear them?

Do you hear the The hate is steaming off both of their backs.

Thank you, because I'm thriving over here. You're thriving with your passport. First of all, Sendney.

The entire five years that I've known her exclusively been using her passport is ID.

Yeah, she ain't got no license, she got no non driver's license. She that's it. She just had. Do you I feel like you always.

Have your Social Security card on YouTube? No change anyway, So passport? Is her ID ready lost it?

Right, didn't realize it was gone until I needed it like several days later.

So you know where you lost it? You think you know where you lost Oh? I know where I lost it? Oh where did you lose that?

Said, I'm not saying anyway, in a hotel?

Ho tell mo, tell holiday.

Wow, my little go ahead, you lost it? Then somebody's somebody's cat.

No, anyway, I so lost my passport and I'm freaking out because I needed it to get because I'm going away next week as well, and I need my ID to get on the plane. And so I'm looking through it and I'm stressing out. And then I posted on Instagram that I lost my pass work when people were like hitting me.

Up like where were you last? Where were the areas? Like maybe like we could repost this or something like that. What like the people who followed, they'd be looking out.

Yo.

I really fucking appreciate the people who ride or die for us.

AnyWho. A day later, I get a.

D M mad late like like after midnight, Hey, I have your password. I click on the girl's page, fooling. I was like, this is a setup, this is God, this is no I was like, this is not real. I thought you thought he was getting catfished. Yeah, I thought it was getting What was she looked like?

Who woul play her in the movie? Discard her? Was she slim?

She looked like a like a video video model, but she like not a video ho like a video model, like she's the main girl that.

She looked like she's Spanish or something like that. Yes, what you're saying, okay, just say she likes an friend.

Don't do that to me. A video how Yeah, her dad white, her mother Dominican or something like that. Yeah something. It's just okay. She's Brazilian. Let me show you, let me show you, and she's a lot of it. Yeah. No, she lood black.

Yeah, you know, she looked like she maybe has hooked up with Drake before. Yes, I'm gonna tell you guys what she looks like. She looks like a mix of the girl from what was that my not my wife and kids? Was it my wife and kids with the Wayne's brother dad.

That's what I'm talking about. Now, I have no clue. She was like the.

Daughter from Oh Adrianna sent your message and said want to hit the strip club tonight? Wow, we're going out. We're bringing the bald haird out to the strip club. She looks, she's pretty okay, go ahead, that looks real to me.

Look she don't look fake.

No, she looked like that in real life. And so she's giving me all this information. I was like, oh shit, you do have my past. Where does she find your passport? She found it in Clinton Hill, Okay, that's where she found it, and I was in I was in an oberpool and I think like it came out of my purse and like the person came out and like slid it.

That's what happened.

Okay.

And so so she's like here, I'm here until the fifteenth or whatever. So I meet her the next day, okay, in a public place. No, at her house. She goes, you're trying to get kidnapped. She give me her apartment number, and I need my passport.

But I'd be like, since we can be out of Starbucks Caddy Corner to where you live.

I said, what are you going to be doing at seven pm? She said, I'm gonna be at my house and.

You went at nighttime? Wow, Sydney.

Truly I needed it before I got into Union Hall and it's perfect because her house was by Union Hall, so go there.

She's in a robe, yeah, ripping the way. She was sorry. She had a whipped cream bikini on the Varsity blue. I was like, aye, yi yai, hi deal meal me, I ain't.

I'm Amy, And she's like, sorry, well what were you wearing? Like what did you wear? I looked great. I had like a I had like a white blouse on had like my makeup was flawless. I had jeans. I looked pretty. But she see my but you know, my passport picture is not that great, okay, because you started to say it and I was like, but is it a good phone? Now it's not that's but she's seen you on the GRAMD.

She what it is.

Yes, So she saw me, and I like, she looked so good that I was like, this can't be real.

But she's not gay. She's just you know, she's just like a hot.

Girl that she's She's got like over three hundred and something, uh, three hundred thousand followers.

She's like low key famous. She's a violinist. She's great a violinist. Why did you say that?

Why did you call her a video ho? Well, this is not feminist. I did not say like a video I asked you, like a video girl. She doesn't look like a violina. I asked you to describe her. I asked you literally, all you said was she looked like a video hip.

You didn't say if she if she said that she looked like a violinist.

No, but she could have been Andrew, thank you, But Sydney could have described her fully and given us a round image of who this person was. That's your fault for thinking video girls are like one dimensional, bitch.

They are one dimension. Yes, they're doing video things. They hadn't smaller a video ho that was you?

Yes, But okay, I feel like there are people who are listening to this who are on my side right now because we asked you to describe her and tell us about her, and all you said was that she was hot and she looked.

Like a video I'm not descripted her in a movie. I my brain cells are gone. It's okay, and we have another pod after this, so I have to save my energy.

So fuck both of you. Wow you did. Sidney is a county ass.

I'm going to kiss you in the mouth. Andrew, he said, that's he said that's a hay crime. If you put your gay ass lips on his gay.

Ass lips, that's its Outria.

You're telling me you would to kiss me, Absolutely not, would you kiss Marie?

No, well maybe I don't have hair. Now you kiss Marie, I cannot believe. I can't believe it's not butter.

Right now, I don't know. I'm just not feel right now.

Yes, Sidney, you're being mean, and you got here later than all of us, and your shorts are super short today, and you hugged me, and I think you metuned me a little bit. And you put cream cheese on Andrew's shoes and you didn't even apologize.

You took and you took the bagel and left. You took the bagel and dripped cream cheese.

When I tell y'all that Sidney is the Regina George of the group, y'all don't be believing me.

Marie must that's something mean.

Didn't even die never has on a bra, and she never has on any matters. Okay, rude, this is this is hard. This is black American behavior right here. See I got culture because my family not from here. Okay, let me reel this back in.

So she gave me my passport and I said, can I get you a drink or coffee things? She's like, no, that's fine, but I do want to come to a show. And I said, so you did google me? You did get into it, I mean Sydney.

How do you think she found your Instagram and slidding your dms? If not by looking you up friends?

She said, you tried to friend me on Facebook. But I had too many friends, I said, I said, because you're a Facebook boy. No, I do not be accepting people shit unless I know them. From now on, I only accept people I know.

You're already at your limits.

So that means every time you add new people, you have to delete old people.

I do so if you fuck up, if I don't like your post.

Delete Well, you're following a lot of people on Instagram.

And he's following like three thousand people. No, I'm not how many people you're following, like two thousand and six.

I feel like it's too much.

A lot of it is friends from like college Sidney.

You have two.

Thousand, seven hundred friends from college and from work. No, I used to be a bottom waitress in Sydney. I know they follow all those people. I've seen you follow people that you don't know just cut you know what, like you do that, that's how you use your Instagram. Most of those people you don't know two thy seven hundred some people.

So you're telling me I need to clean the whole thing now andrew things you should purge. I actually don't.

Yeah, I've purged like a few months ago, and I felt great.

How many people are you following?

I'm following like nine hundred people. It's nice. I feel like if you're following it over a thousand people, it's just too much.

Too much.

I don't know, I'm following seven hundred and seventy people. Yeah, I like to keep it right into seven seven. I'm ad seven more people would can help you. I don't know how to like unfollow people. It's you just hit that little button until it turns now. I know, then it turns blue and then it'll say follow back, and then you just don't. But you know, I follow things that make me, like, make my timeline look interesting. But

From my phone.

You know, yeah, you need it.

Well, I'll do a little purge and I'll figure out who I got to delete.

I mean, you have to.

Delete at least seventeen hundred people. You're not gonna do that. Yes, you're you're about to hit three thousand. You're saying you don't have that many, but you're about to hit it.

Well, I get bored if, like, I have the same fucking people posting the same shit. Like that's why I have a variety of motherfuckers, right, hot girls? I have hot girls. I don't know I have like a little bit of celebrities. I have comedians way too many. That's who I need to unfollow the comedian.

I don't follow anybody famous. I can follow any celebrities.

You don't. I follow famous people because I don't want to.

Be on the train underground with the rats looking at you, jumping in and out of a helicopter to your Mercedes bench trup.

No man, you should follow Mariah Carey.

Her is hilarious, she is she is wacky, yeah, what does she do?

I feel like she does a lot of shit.

Walking down the street the other day and she did like a like a viral challenge or something.

Do you see that?

Yeah, but she did it wrong, and she did it and she couldn't even sing her own song.

Oh. It was like the why are you so obsessed with me?

It was just like Mariah Carey is such an auntie, but also your delusional because you don't understand how corny.

The shamps baby? Yes you know she boozy. Hey, Mariah, Me and Mariah.

Go back babies es uh so back to back to the ball, back to the ball.

How do you think? No, no, no, back to the passport.

No?

Okay, you offered to take care for a drink? She says, no. She says, I want to come to a show.

I told her about the knitting factory on Sunday. She's coming tomorrow, who knows? But I said, sun every Sunday booth, every Sunday is free. I got you.

Whatever you said, everything for you every Sunday I got. Everybody else pays with you. If you want to do a little time with your little violin, I got you.

Also.

Shout out to those women from Where were they from Arizona? Yeah, it was like a bunch of them. And then a girl from text Yeah it was she was really really cute. Y'all are coming through. Oh she was so beautiful. Yeah. We were like, you listen to us. We were like, why do you listen to us? She was so hot, you know, her baby hairs. I was like, oh, you have both of your parents in your life and you

It's true gorge. Uh and then what else? And then that's it.

I mean she didn't follow me back on Instagram, So that's also.

That you do be fast to follow somebody and of course they're not gonna follow you back.

You got three thousand people that you follow. That's true.

Okay, but you know from our Philly show, I forgot to shout out a couple of people. Uh, Nick Mitchell, God bless you, you messy, you messy down.

You brought is he the one who brought poppers? Is that the black Eye? I think so it might be him or Ted.

Oh yeah, So two weeks ago, several weeks ago, two weeks ago, the episode came out about me not liking comedy no more. Yeah, And then that same night we went to Philly. The show was sold out, fucking killed. A bunch of people who listened to the podcast came and everybody was so cool something. I was a little bit creepy, but everybody was so cool. And this is one of the people who we hung out with that night.

Nick Mitchell, Nora Fineberg, and Ted Wilson and there were some other people but I couldn't catch their fucking names. But shout out to y'all for coming through and then hanging out after and just being like awesome, just good old people.

Yes, somebody bought me poppers. He was I came out. I was like, hey, thanks for coming. He's like, love your podcast, poppers baos and I was like, yeah, I'm not. We not banging tonight and this is not Amsterdam, so thank you, but no thanks.

And he was gay too, and oh, I said, I love a reckless gag messy gay just got no qualm, shut door, a messy gay.

Yes, yes, it's great, we're here for it.

But yeah, the shows have been good. She's coming to see us back to the Bault.

I don't know. I don't know.

I didn't think about my ears at all before I shaved my head. I didn't know what my ears were gonna look like. And they're fine. But now I feel like my ears are really low on my head. Oh no, I feel like a cartoon. I feel like Skeeter from Doug or Gerald from Hay Arnold.

You have cute, little small ears. Yeah, I have.

My mother's ears, my father's waiste though it's so good. My grandma's ass she did so nobody did, Citney. Your nails look so healthy and long. Honestly, your nails on your butt the two parts of your body thriving the most.

Yeah, but these these are not good nails to be a lesbian in, though. Yeah. It a little square, so you got around them. Yeah, I'm around them out.

I'm gonna get the little oval shape and uh, you know, just I'm just trying to live my life.

Man, That's all that you can do. Friend.

Yeah, there was like a couple of people who like hit me up to like hang out, and I was just like, come.

On now, which people from the podcast or like people.

There's just like I feel like, if you're a comedian, you should never ever ever talk to me.

I will never like hang out with a comedian. Yeah, that's gross.

And I'm like, if you see what my girl look like, if you are not better than then I just can It's just like a waste.

Yeah. Yeah, if I can't ask.

You to join me and my girlfriend, if my girlfriend will say no to you, then.

Yeah, well this is wow sitting.

Well, Wow, the Patreon's gonna be lit when we do it. When we do it, it's gonna be you guys gonna lose your minds. Actually, I don't know if people listening to the the probably shouldn't be listen to that either.

What do we do about this? How do we may have to start another podcast? No, this is what we do.

We we gotta Okay, So we have a bunch of live shows coming up, and this is truthfully and honestly super exciting. Yes, places that were definitely coming to definitely maybe we're gonna be We're doing a live show in New York in October and Brooklyn and then we may or may not be doing like a Ludlow house or a Soho house or like a Dumbo house. Yeah somethwhere for the for the wealthy friends? Uh, and then Chicago in November and then Toronto is coming. We only happen.

Oh, we have to do we have to do it because we found the palm tree palm tree necklaces.

Those are fucking so good.

This woman walked by and she had a little tiny palm tree like gold, get.

This, And I was like, you need that for the podcast.

We're like where you get that from? She's like it was free, My mom mad it for me.

Maybe yeah, we got Maybe we go on Etsy and just like get like a bunch of them and then we'll sell them at the show for one hundred dollars each.

I mean, if we buy them on Etsy, you know we're paying ninety nine dollars for them, So it's gonna be don't play real gold, don't.

Play that, and we'll put a little S and M in it.

No, the pountry is so tiny. Yes, okay, I mean you tried. I did, Thank you for your contribution that we don't need.

I thought about it.

I'm sorry it was yeah, but like I just want to do Like when we go to Miami, We're not gonna do comedy, right.

I'm not playing it.

That's commeding to me that you think I'm gonna go to Miami to do comedy.

No, I just want to fucking have fun.

We're in Miami, Okay, for the people who are listening, for the poppy chulos, for the mamasitas and the video hos that listen to us down there, will be there the fifteenth, No, the thirteenth to the fifteenth. Yeah, just a little long weekend, you know, invite us to your your beach side condo and make baya for us.

But the thing is is that Miami We've I've done it so many times and not like it's like played out, But Miami is one of those places like your body gotta be right, you gotta have low expectations, Like if you're trying to do it up and go to Star Island, like that's not that's not your lane.

Let me tell you what I want to do in Miami when we're I want to go to the beach just for like ten minutes.

Yeah, took a couple of photos.

Because we don't like the beach. I hate the sand in my feet. I don't your feet, yeah, because it makes me look like twelve years of slave, Like I look so gross.

It's just not my brand. So also, and I don't Oh my.

God, I can learn how to swim, though, I said as soon as I shave my head, I was gonna start taking class it.

I mean, I mean it can teach you because yeah, it's a swim instructor. So I think I'll catch that. I'll catch that. I'll do a little like cinematography of you struggling to swim.

No, I mean I want I need to learn. Can I learn how to swim in two weeks? Is that? Is that realist?

Now? I think she could teach you I for Miami for me, Ummi, I don't know. I just feel like Mina is good enough to train you while we're in Miami and we can.

I don't want to learn how to swim in Miami. I want to learn how to swim for Miami. I don't know if that's gonna happen. Friend, I mean says, you know, I'm gonna employed I got time to take some swim. If you want to go to like YMCA and do it with Amina, you can.

I think she should teach her. She's a friend, you trust her. She went to Howard on a swim scholarship.

Yeah, she has his son. Like she's a black woman. I'm supporting black business.

I'm not gonna pay her, no, no, no, but you know I'll bring her like an insure huh, or like a like a like a Pedia light for a baby.

Do five year olds drink Pedia light? Nah?

I think I'm never gonna know how to swim, And I'm I don't know if I'm ever gonna learn how to drive.

Not with that attitude. Not with that attitude, Sydney.

That is the simple life is me teaching you how to drive, but you don't know how to fucking drive exactly.

But I have a license, so I did want know how to drive. I don't know. That sounds like a nightmare.

It sounds like it is one of those situations where the ambulance are gonna be called. It's gonna be an accident. I might lose an arm. I mean, with that attitude, you might.

Yeah, So you're telling me I need to be positive for everything. I mean as positive as you are about me being bald when you walked in here, as how you should be about everything else. We gotta do a helicopter ride that too. Yeah, apparently I'm in the exclusive Uber helicopter club. That's crazy. Wow did you get into this?

Since I'm a platinum Uber member now I pay more than you and Uber. Yeah that's true, but something since your rating must be trash because I don't know Uber helicopter to JFK. I mean I would never, but imagine what's your rating. It's like a four point eight something.

I'm gonna offer to give somebody head in the fucking Uber so I could get.

Your rating's gonna go even lower. He's gonna be like her mouth was so dry.

Let me see.

Actually I've been told the opposite. Oh, wet, wet, give me that Woodwood City. You are nasty. I don't even know who you are, right other things?

You know, the level of grossness oozing from that side of the microphone.

I mean, I just I'm just saying I'm proud of the things that I can do. If I can do them, you know, I believe, Why is it disgusting? I'm a four point seven three.

Wow, give me that four to get the helicopter?

Is that what it is? It's such a nightmare.

I hate when there's things that I want to get into that I'm not even going to use.

I just that's just how I am. I want what everybody else has.

Yeah, you're that, You're like that only child that wasn't allowed to go outside when everybody else is playing. But the thing is is that like you, you know, you're being a hoe and shaving your head.

I'm not trying to do that. Well, you're trying to do me.

That.

You don't be so weird, you weird.

Don't be so gig Sydney. Damn. I told you I have standards. So you.

Saying don't be gay. But honestly, I'm very picky and very particular.

Slim but and I feel like that is what Marie.

As I got off the shoulder one shoulder situation.

Yeah, but she's got that like off the shoulder blouse like R and B thing like that's not slim, butch. I need like a tank top, like a regular black tank top and your shorts. Actually, if you change your top, I would be like your mom.

Man, I'd be like yo, my, my, sir, I can't take my shirt off.

I don't have a brown one. The way you flirt with me, Ray.

Sydney, the way your nipples are looking at me right now. It's not even in the bra. It's the Sydney State. Cidney is the most extensive collection of knit. Some aware it is legit a knit tank top.

It's a sweater top. And my bro doesn't even fit. I know, Oh, I have.

A shirt for you. I have a shirt. I'll bring it to you later. I got it in the wrong size. I don't know if it's gonna fit you, but.

I think it'll fit you actually, because it looks like it's like, uh, it's a black tank tank top, but it like has a deep like v right here, and it has like a little underwire and it's supposed to push your boobs together.

Slim slim, And you got this for work?

I mean, I have a shopping problem. I shopped too much.

When money is in my hand, like my hand is on fire, I have to spend. I went to Sapphora, spent almost two hundred dollars on things. Friend, I had to re up up on some things I got Georgia Almani Foundation, which is.

Why it's just it's so good. Really, yeah, it's so girl collection.

It's so like smooth, and it just it feels right.

Okay, how much did that costs? Like almost seventy dollars for a foundation for foundation? How many answers? I have a problem, Yeah, it sounds like you do. I need somebody to help me, not buy anything, yes, by buying her stuff.

Okay, you heard it here first, folks, city has a problem and we need you to help us.

Oh my god, let's read somebody's questions.

Oh yeah, people have center that we're supposed to help them answer.

Woh okay.

I have none of these prepared because I.

Didn't know we was going to have this today. I have one. It's a lot of dead air on the podcast. No it's not. It's not like we got it.

I have it already because I hit the guy up and I was like, oh, I'm using this.

I'm using this today.

Okay, here we have hi, guys, I need help. My boyfriend and I have been together for three years. We met in college. Boring the last two of those three years, we have been in a long distance about one point five hours apart, so not too bad.

Gross.

My boyfriend just moved about four hours away from me for a job. I'm so happy for him, but I'm getting a little frustrated at our relationship as I can't tell if we're fuck, if he fucking wants to be in the same place or not, Like when we moved away from each other finding their job reasons, unsure what to do what else. I thought that we would eventually formulate a plan to get back together in the same damn city.

What chop do we on? But that literally isn't happening so far.

I've tried to bring this up several times to him, but we can't seem to figure out anything. I'm twenty five and need to figure out my next move in life and I can't tell if it's going to be with him or not. Basically, tell me if I'm a dumb bitch or not. But by the way, you both are great and I'm from the Midwest and I need to get out anyways.

Anyways, love you both.

The pod is so fucking funny and brings me so much joy, and fuck all those other pods.

Yeah, can we both at the same time say what we think about her? One, two, three.

You stop it, girl, you're twenty five? How long did you say they've been together? Five years? Three years? Sis, you should be.

Out and thriving and like showing people your side boob. What are you worried about this guy for? Yeah, you guys are not going to get married. And I'm telling you that with a one hundred percent certainly of my heart because you're so young and you guys have been apart for so long at this point, he has a whole life that you don't know nothing about, and you are doing things that he's not experiencing with you.

And every time you're bringing up like okay, so how are we gonna get back together? And he's not trying to formulate anything with you. That's that's him telling you what what you mean?

He's like who it is.

He's like out with other people, not thinking about you. You need to move on, ye, move on?

Sis? Yeah? I can't.

I can't see your photo. I didn't look at the avy, but I feel like you're too cute for this. I feel like you got that dimpled or something.

He's got a nice hairline. You're better than this.

Yeah, please, I don't believe in long distance relationships.

I just don't they're dumb. I not that they're dumb, it's.

Just like, there's too much there's too many people out here in this world for you to be stuck worrying about somebody on the other side of the world.

Or on the other side of the coast. Whatever. Listen, If I'm in New York and you in New Jersey, first of all, we're not gonna date.

Yeah. If I'm in Brooklyn and you and queens, ah, so long distance relationship is not gonna happen. It's not we don't live off the same train line and you don't live closer to the city. It's not convenient for me to stay at your house to go to work and stuff.

No, that's I don't need that.

If my uber has to cross the bridge to get to you, so saudy not happening.

If you're young and you have a boyfriend, the best thing about having boyfriends is hopefully good dick. But also like going out and like getting drunk at a bar on a Tuesday, or like eating lunch or dinner with their friends, and like remembering goofy conversation that y'all are having. Having somebody who's four hours away. You don't have that with them, and you're twenty five, like you wasting good years.

You're so fucking young, like you should be having a dick in your mouth and in your ass at the same time. You should not be worrying about somebody that you don't see enough. What are you facetiming? I don't have enough wife for that wi fi for that shit. I don't have enough data, I don't have enough time. I can't do it. You don't have enough manners.

Sydney's legs are open, there's a hole in her crotch I can see. Okay, somebody else question a number does Somebody said, this is a Hispanic person from Texas trying to have a hot girl summer. But I'm not dating and I'm not catching feels. But I am but a free lunch I'm always down for. But he started catching feelings after two lunches and I cannot He's nice and all, but how do I curve him without being too harsh?

Sorry, it's impossible. That's not true.

Don't do that because I did it for years, remember mm hmm, remember that, and it paid for every meal.

But I don't think he I think that he realized that you guys were never gonna date.

Because I told him at the beginning, you gotta do it at the beginning.

I don't remember what I.

Said to him, but I am a kind of harsh person, so people are not surprised when I talk to them a certain way. They're just like, oh, well, that's just.

Marie being Marie.

I feel like it's it's the language that you use. You gotta hit him with. I feel like when you put somebody in the friend zone, you do that by talking about stuff that men don't expect you to say, Like like you're sitting with him and you're talking and you're like, oh, I went on this day with this dude last night and this, this this happened, you know what I mean. Tell him what you're doing with other people and treat him like a friend. Make him realize, Oh.

Because she's gonna have to start paying for the bunches.

Well, I mean that's uh, that's a risk you have to take. But that that she says that to him at he gonna pay for that one?

Still?

I know? But also, why is she stopping at lunches? I would go for the dinner? Dinners are more expensive. Why is she not doing well?

Maybe they caught, Maybe they're colleagues and they work, they get the same lunch break something I don't know.

I don't know.

Y'all always gotta stop being users, like you can't pay for lunch?

Since I get you on I I don't.

You also took his breakfast. The audacity of you. I'm just saying, though, like, how old are you? You can't afford lunch?

Now, I'm just at the time of my life that I if I don't want to be next to you, if I don't like you food, she can never be that good to say that. She didn't let him. She's not interested, she's not interested in it. He could very well be a nice guy like I, sis, I does this. I've been on plenty of date and plenty of lunch, dinner, drink with somebody that I didn't give a damn about. But I was like, the food cute, and something's gonna happen.

But do you do you do a repeat?

Is it like three I've done plenty of repeats.

I'm here for a round two and a round three.

That's why you and I'm okay, And I'm fine with that, and I will continue to be into shield, but I will also be fool.

That's merchin shit.

I love it.

But also I'll be full. You know, Yeah, but what do you mean? It's twenty nineteen.

If a chick wants to let somebody pay for something, let him pay, Let him pay. Bring enough money, don't bring no cash, don't bring no money on you. Just bring your phone. Make sure it's fully charged. Just think case you gotta pay for that uber to high tail it out of it.

She just want to let you know, y'all talking to Marie who has like a fucking symmetrical stunning face. If that's not your if that's not your vibe, I don't know. I don't think anybody could just pull that off.

Marie.

Well, also, you're very charismatic, and even if somebody wasn't looking at you, you can hold many of conversations at the table and they feel like they're not getting robbed.

Well, the girl said this question. She's cute, cute, she looks like some people should be out trying to date her and she looks young. Let me look at her.

She looked like she like in her teens. C Yeah, girl, you better laugh at his stupid ass jokes. Touch his hand, but tell him about other dudes that you be with. That's what you gotta do. You gotta be like ah and then like gently touch his hand when he says something stupid, and then you gotta be like you know what. That reminds me of this guy Tyler that I went out with on Thursday, Like, let him know that you're out.

Here, Marie, seize your class friend. Oh coach, ho coach, oh coach?

Okay, another one. My friend recently had this exchange with his neighbor. Their relationship has basically just been casual conversations in passing. They have never hung up, they have never hung out. How would you handle this?

Okay?

So this is the conversation she sent me the screenshot of the fucking conversation. Y'all better come through with these motherfucking receipts. Y'all giving me a storyline? I love I stand Okay.

So here's guys, a beginning of middle and an end. Yes, here's the conversation. Are you home?

Can I maybe crash your place tonight? My power just turned off. I've been on a dispute with the kan ed from my last apartment. It's going to be turned back on tomorrow morning. But I won't be able to sleep tonight with an AC. I won't be able to sleep tonight with an AC or fan or anything. Okay, Okay, So then her friend write, hey, sorry, I didn't have my phone near me.

Lies. I just saw that call extra lies.

Yeah, my partner works nights and I work during the day, so we're unable to have anyone stay the night, and our dog have been having issues, so we're trying to have her in a consistent environment. Sorry about that, Yoda lies up.

They started a sentence with me, Well, my partner, in case you didn't know.

These fables and fallacies y'all got going up. Tuna wouldn't have to stay. I just have lupus and I have to and I would flare up with this what okay is.

This Noma from America's Next Time?

Sorry, I'm sorry here, I understand, but we just unfortunately cannot have anyone over.

Wow.

Okay, yeah, nigga, you like no like First of all, we never hung out and you asked them to stay in my apartment, that's a that's a no for me.

Dog.

Like my neighbors in my apartment they're not that nice.

Like they barely speak when I speak to them, and the lady next door to me is a hoarder.

So I would never stay there. Yeah.

So it's just like, first of all, I have I have a person that I'm living with, they not cool with you staying. And then I have a dog that got all these like issues. It's a hypochondria where the.

Dog is biting people.

Yes, So like if I'm hitting you with all these these things that it sounds like lies, that means that's a no. I think your friend handled it fine, but the next thing it'd be like, no, dude, I just don't.

I'm not cool with you like that. I don't just be having anybody stay in my place. I'm sorry.

Have you never seen uh Unsolved Mysteries or Snapped or a Law and Order SVU episode?

People are insane. I don't know you.

The fact that we've never hung out and you messaging me with a can I spend the night at your house?

Because I'm in a speak with condent. First of all, too much information.

I know that you got bad credit now because you haven't paid content one, but like, I'm just gonna assume you don't have a single friend that you can contact. Yeah, you don't have an aunt or another person that you're close with.

You can't. Honestly, sis, yeah, I think you should.

Just I'd be like, jump on an app match with somebody, spend the night day house that has a c you think that's what that's. If I was the neighbor, I would have responded like that, like you're just jump on tender and go crash somebody house.

Got to see you'll powably on tomorrow, my partner, Not.

That sounds like a lot of work, because you gotta you're like working to survive at someone's place, Like you you have to put you have to lay it on thick so that they feel comfortable enough with you don't have to You don't have.

To lay anything on thick, like like if you're if you're good at what you do, or you pretend to fall asleep after you guys have sex, then they might let you stay.

Honestly, just oh yeah, I've had a lung DREI is that what you do? You'd be letting people stay over.

No sis when when I host, I'd be like, all right, well see you next time. What time you got to be up in the morning? Oh wow, you're working the late shift. Well have I got an early call time? So nikes?

Got wowsers? Okay, got another question? Hey, short one or a long it's a short one. Hey from Canada. My question is how to avoid clany guys? Love the podcast y'all funny as fuck? How to avoid clanky guys? I mean clanky people give you red flags up top. You know, they say things like, oh my God, like you so much, I'm having such a good time. Like they're very but not boisterous about like their emotions.

But not cleaning people are vocal. Some people they just have They show up and they're quietly there. And you, guys, go from one bar or one party to the next, and you turn around and that cleaning person just happens to quietly be following y'all, like they're tagging along. That you look behind you in the uber pool and they in the pool with y'all. Like, some clinging people just show up and don't leave. They're not always very vocal.

You just got to hit him with that.

Actually, no, I don't want to I don't wanna hug, say that I don't want to hug, or.

Just don't respond to the text. Right, if they're like reaching out, why not just like ghosts them.

No, I'm tired of the ghosting people. Gotta grow up. You have to say to say, nah, I'm not interested, or exactly I'm good.

If you're trying to like be nice about it, then not be like, oh I'm don't say I'm not good.

Sometimes, like the clinging people that they will like find something in that response and then be like, oh my god, let me try better, like this is my opportunity to rymore a.

Million percent, which is why I'm saying. If you're listening to what I'm saying, like, be very clear with them, I'm not interested. This is not happening. Yeah, you cool, don't touch me, like we like, if we're out and I see you amongst the group of people, I'll say hello to everybody, but know that we are not hanging out. Yeah, okay, don't text me. You shouldn't. You don't have my phone number. You shouldn't have my phone number in the first place. So, like,

Like, I'm not saying no, but I'm not saying yes because I can't blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. And I said that to this dude.

And then a couple months later, my homegirl runs into my class and she's like, Henry's telling everybody that y'all dated what?

And I was like what?

And I went out in the hallway and he was like screaming about it, and I was like, Henry, we were never a couple, Like what are you talking about?

And he was like, yeah, yes, we were. You can't deny our love.

And blah blah blah, and I was like, we never hung out, we never went on no dates. My parents don't even let me leave my yard, Like what are you talking about? And he was screaming and I was like, but that would happen to me all the time, because people would ask me out that I did not like, and I didn't want to be mean to them, so I wouldn't say no, but I wouldn't say yes, and they were like, oh, Marie likes me, She's just not allowed to say that because she can't date.

And it was like, no, now as a grown ass person.

Yeah you know my type, or hey, yeah you know I'm dating a bunch of other people would never want to see you naked, So thanks.

I think I want to expose something a little bit.

I think I'm a clingy person and or have clingy tendencies. And the more standoutfice you are, the more I'm like intrigued.

That is also a thing that I've seen happen. Yes, so it's hard to like.

I'm not saying I'm autistic and I don't know social cues or whatever, but I'm just saying real clingy people, even if you tell them I'm good, they're still like but they'll try to weasel their way back in.

You'll try that's what you said, That's what Andre said. But I again, and I agree with that too, because the meaner I am to some people, the more they want me to like them. Look at that and five years later look at us together. Wow, five years later, I'm like, Ah, my friend, it were.

We are besties out No I'm no you. I mean no, no, no, you liked me from jump. It wasn't like I It's that was different.

But I'm saying that there are people, and I'm agree with both what both of y'all are saying. There are people that when you shut them down, they want you to or when they're you're mean to them, they want you to like them more.

Yeah, because you just desperately want to be liked by everyone.

That's so weird to me, because there's somebody. If somebody doesn't say bless you when I sneeze, I'd be like, oh, I hate her. She heard me sneeze, didn't they bless you? She's dead to me, And then I'll hate that person forever and not even remember.

Why I hate them.

And the opposite of view, I do want to be accepted. It sucks.

It's stupid because the things that people accept. At the end of the day, you start questioning. You're like, if all these people are liking.

It, it might not be good. What are you talking about?

Just like you want to be accepted, and it's just like, why do you want to be accepted by these masses?

Like sometimes they don't even have good tastes?

Yeah, but like I think that, like human beings are we are social creatures, right. You want people to like us, and you want to be liked, so you just do what everybody else are doing. The people who are out here sending trends and shaving their head and stuff. Those people do what they want and those are the people that are getting followed by clinging people. So I don't remember what the question was, but okay, feel like I answered it.

Drag me but also uplift yourself? Got it? You raise me?

No, what was the question that you? Oh, you said, why do we do that? Why do we want to be Why do we want to follow the masses? Because people don't want to stand out. People want to be normal, that's it. They don't want to stand out. They want to be normal. So if everybody else is doing it and everybody else likes it, you like it too.

Yeah, but I don't want to get be normal because that's boring. You get tired of yeah.

Sidney exactly, and then those people turn into Rihanna. You know.

Oh wow, I hope the Navy comes up after your hardcore.

What are you talking about. I'm saying she's a trendset up.

Oh She's not somebody that is like, people follow everything Rihanna does. People follow everything Beyonce does, even if it's wrong. She'd be overlning her lips with her lipstick and it always does And I was just like, did she get her lips done? It always looks bad and people are like, yes, Queen, you better serve them lips.

But I think she I think she got her lips done.

I don't know if she did or she didn't. I know that her lipstick is never on her her lips. It's always above her lip line. Yeah, and I'd be like, who the.

Is she doing her lifts herself? I think she got some shit like enhanced. I'm not even gonna lie. Well, it looks bad. I said it. I'm on the record to say it. I mean listen.

You don't even have to hold back, cause these fans they fickle.

They come and go. One minute, they're like, I'll shoot you, I'll kill you say anything about my fucking Beyonce.

And then she comes out and does some stupid shit on her track and they're like, ah, she's problematic.

I don't know.

No people, true Beyonce fans will never say that she does anything wrong. She stole that whole visual album, music video, whatever and from those African folks, and people are like, yeah, she didn't steal that. Beyonce has been doing these moves and giving us this choreo for years, and they like went through all her videos and picked stuff out to like show she'd already done it before. They make excuses.

Well, that's what the fuck I want. Okay, if you listen to the Unofficial Expert and you don't eat.

Sleep Ship ho this fucking podcast, leave leave now.

I just want oh yo.

When I saw you guys putting the palm trees underneath, I was like, yell, are insane?

I said, y'all have absolutely lost your damn mind.

Yes, Beyonce, I mean be Jhon say John Say you're tagging him and tagging us and I was like, well, they have no damns and no qualms.

I love it. I love that.

Who do we want to put palm trees under their photo this this week?

Who do we need to throw some shade at? Who do I have problems with? What do I have problems with? Honestly, I can't think of anybody, Andrew.

Is anybody that's bothering you or somebody who ghosted you, or somebody who gave you everybody? We're not doing that. Oh, you have to stop you you're no longer cond talk on the pot about your business.

Oh no, that's just we're not We're not going to go to his profile.

Oh we can talk. You just don't want to with the palm trees.

Okay, Well tell us what happened and then we'll we'll wrap up the episode.

Did you guys know we're not talking about it? It's okay.

So you are such a whore?

I will so, Andrew, what's the point of being on the podcast if you can't put.

Your microphone down? Yeah?

Oh my god. Okay.

Also, you're eating a bagel and we also said that we didn't do this in a microphone.

Sorry, I literally no, I can't tell you. No, I had sex with someone off the street.

You went sex on the street. Hold on, you met someone on the street.

I left a bar and it was like two o'clock in the morning.

You were drunk. It's not you, it's not your fault. You're victim.

And there is the sky uh that you've that you've seen around before.

No, No, it's a strange of danger.

It's bad.

This was a man.

It was like, literally, what was I thinking inviting this man into.

My back to your place in Chelsea?

I was literally, I know, listen, the person that you had sex with, that you met on the street was only wandering around because they was having a dispute with khand and they.

I know truly that.

Yeah, or it could be a psycho fan that listens to the podcast that was following you.

Okay.

Yeah.

I was like really back and forth with it because I was like, okay, this guy, but he mentioned that he's traveling for work next week.

Lies he ain't got no job. No, I don't know that where Okay, what did he look like? Who would play him in a movie? My God, he's short or tall?

He was, uh, maybe like a five to ten okay, slim black guy.

So you have a type, Andrew, Yes, you you just it just took you this long to realize.

You just noticed what Andrews type is.

Just now.

I just noticed.

This is the revelation I will.

Say, when you when you said, you said with somebody from the street. In my mind, I was like it was a white man, but it was a black guy.

That's what I thought.

I literally, I was like, you know theyretty homeless. You know those stray dogs out there is somebody that was out there feeding pigeons. Yeah, he got locked out of his house.

No, but it was it was good. It was good good.

And you didn't get murdered.

So I didn't get murdered. You probably stole some of you is something. Yeah. Also, yeah, he left he left the used condom on the sink, kitchen sink or the bathroom the bathroom sink. That's gross.

You have a trash can in your.

Bath I have a trash can in my bathroom.

And I was like, don't try to act like, oh, yes, I do, like you have standards, but.

It was crazy. I was. I was so I was just invited this complete stranger into my house and then.

And then into your house. And what were you drinking?

Uh? Just wine?

How many drinks did you have?

That's all it takes.

Yeah, Wait, Andrew, do you think you're a sex aholic?

After that moment, I was like, yeah, I think you're a little. Okay, I'm not.

No, Okay, So what's the record of days that you've gone without having sex?

Oh, that's hard to say because I was in a relationship for five years. In the last year of the relationship, he didn't have sex ones.

Okay, So last year Yeah, okay, So you're having a reawakening, I guess. So yeah, okay, so it's different. You've been through some trauma, so you're a survivor.

I'm not going to give up you.

Yeah, you're not gonna give up you.

So how far from your house was this bar that you walked the street?

Okay? So the bar was two blocks north and.

It was right around the corner. You literally had slides on and you're like.

Night cap.

I left and I was walking to go get pizza, and then he just.

Like yeah, that's the title of the bottom pan out went up for pizza.

Penis is dead too long.

Just Penis bagels like pizza bagels, Penis bagels.

So Stino's pizza Penis grows.

Yeah, when pizzas on a mango, you get happiness.

And Andrew, thank you so much for sharing your message in the last four minutes.

Yo, what do you Kobe Bryant like? That was?

That was the move of the year, right, But you know he could have had sex with Kobe Bryant that night if Kobe was that homeless man.

Andrew, when did he leave?

Uh?

What do you mean, like when like a time like time frame?

How did he say? How late?

Oh?

No, it was like and see, I don't know if I fully believe him either, because he said that he was going to meet his friends out of the bar, and I was like, it is literally like two thirty in the morning. Why are you showing up this late?

You were way to get pizza the bar?

Okay, it's New York City stuff. He was on after Afties. Yeah, it wasn't like four o'clock.

I don't know, because like there are during the weekend. Uh, there's just guys in the neighborhood that are cruising. They truly are cruising.

Oh, they from like New Jersey, they leave their families back to He.

Knew what he was doing the coldest. I don't know, because he had a backpack as well.

I don't know. He was a magamon. He was a runaway, Yes he was. He was. But it was like you got god, Andrew. He probably took some of your mayo. He probably took your soy.

Mayo.

You know he was in there rifling through them, cabiness. Did he put that condom on the counter? Forgot about it?

I used? I used the bathroom afterwards, and I was so afraid to close the door, so I literally just left the door open as I was peeing, and he just like had to watch me because I was too afraid.

To let me let me hold on. Andrew, you are people who are listening to this right now. If you're afraid of the person that you bang it. No, No, he did it right though, Andrew, and I almost died, but worth it. No, it was was the die on the dick, that's merch. Die on the dick, that's we're going to get graphic. Uh, Prince Andrew, Let's see how long you can go without dick now starting stop.

I'm not playing, We're playing the game.

Playing let's do it?

Are you playing this game too?

I'm getting dicked tonight because you know, I gotta get balled, you know, because I got Wait.

What time are you going to say?

I'm not?

Are you covering this strip club?

Or no?

Well, what time you're going to the street club? After ten?

Okay?

I can get Dick before ten. I can get like lunch dick, brunch, brunch dick. Okay, Andrew, please be safe out there.

I dare you to do a week without Dick. I can do. I did a week without Dick literally last week, two weeks ago. Andrew, please be careful. Need to drop a pan boo for us. But he was going to you and he was at home. It would have happened at his house. I don't know. Can you just let us know, because if anything happens to you, the pot is over.

I mean, we'll probably we'll go dark. We'll go dark for we go dark for a week. We'll try the lights off like broad memory.

Andrew, you are rock star?

Do you?

And your nipples always a pleasure? Marie? Yo, baldass head. I love it.

Literally, I want to donate all the coins to you. You know, I'm gonna start a GoFundMe.

My mom was like, did you take your hair with you when you left the barbershop? And I was like no, and she was like they're gonna take that and clean it and make wigs. And I was like, I didn't even want that hair. Nobody wants that hair. And she was like, you're dumb anyway, footed all of me coming out that's merch.

Thank you guys so much for keep writing us your questions and your dilemmas.

You'll like try to answer them the best Bessie way possible. Keep keep being dumb so we can be smart.

Yes, keep reviewing us on iTunes. We see your mess every week and they're so great, so positive.

Five stars blah blah blah, and yeah, have a blessed weekend last weekend.

Yes, let's stay again, Stay blessed, Stay blessed, my friend may forever.

This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Bauam, Joecilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Foreverdog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking out page on Facebook