Oh, That Dick Don't Count

You guys have time. Yeah, it's true. People are like, we know you don't have jobs, but honestly, we don't have time because we also are busy. But also it's just like, we gotta come to Murray's house. We gotta like set it up. You're saying, we gotta go to Bree's house. I live here, this, I'm here already. We let the record show that I be ready to do the podcast at my house. I gotta come all the way here. It's an hour away. She gotta take two

buses and three trains. Just crazy or thirty dollars? Uber? Thirty Uber? I'm like, is the podcast worth thirty dollars? Is it the Patreon people think it is? I know we got up a little that as well. Wow, we're just so fucking behind Sidney. I don't know why you start so negatively. You're right, hop, you're right, just negative. So some people just don't know how to see the silver Lining playbook in it all. That movie was terrible. Yeah, my cup is always empty, he's not running over. I says,

you might need to go to church or something. Oh. I was thinking about going to Hillsong, and then I was like, I saw the niggas and leather jackets again, and I was like, nah, hey, let's back it up. Let's back it up. Let's beg it up, beg it up. Uh. So, for those of y'all who are not in the know, Hillsong is like a cool church, right. The pastor of Hillsong is Justin Bieber's pastor, and he like, he's like a celebrity. He hangs out with like basketball players and stuff.

So it's a cool church because all the pastors have tattoos and they wear sleeveless leather jacket the way they hair wear their hair. It just it's not church appropriated. It's listen. I the first time I went to Hillsong, I was like, oh, y'all, just got shocked body con dresses from last night, Like everybody looked like the club from the night before. It looks like in a club. It's in a super club. It's not in a club, Sis, it's in the Hammerstein Ballroom. It's in an arena. SIS.

That's pretty much a club, is it. Every time I've been there, I've been doing molly and everything else. Okay, well, you know, the closer the more drugs you take, the closer to God you'll be. You know what I mean, The higher you are, the closer to God facts God. Anyway, it's it's fun church, that's what That's what it's called cool church. Yeah. You wear mini skirts and you could wear if you're a man, you can wear your hair

and a man bun. And people are like, okay. You turn to Ephesians when they said you can vemo the Lord. I was like, Okay, this is the Lord. This is the church for me. Listen, y'all trying to venmo Jesus. Oh my God, because the answers prayer. Yeah, I definitely trying to venmo Jesus. Because you know when you tell that person like, oh yeah, I've vemo you, and then

you never do please. In San Francisco, we went to a diner with a bunch of dudes, a bunch of gay dudes, happy pride, and one woman had cash and she's like, I got you know, I got some cash. And then this one guy was like, oh, yeah, you got to just venmo me for your food. Me and Molly were like, yea, I will venmo you. I said, what's your Venmo? I said, what is your name in real life? And then he said it and I forgot

it right away. So shout out to all the gay guys that are buying food for people at diner's at two o'clock in the morning in San Francisco. Y'all are her to live. Y'all are doing the work of the Lord LRT Lord. And if I hit you with a I'm a Venmo you, you already know I'm lying at I'm laughing while I'm saying the sin too. I know That's why I don't know. Since give me that cash, I'll be like, I'm a f mo you now and then I leave. Yeah, but I'm that type of person

that I need my venmo. I need my money. I can't wait around. I've been waiting around for checks for months now, and I'm trying to let these people know. What makes you think that I could wait this long for this money. The fact that you are waiting that long for the money. Well, I'm making it work. I'm stealing. I'm stealing from Peter to pay Adrian and then stealing from Adrian to pay at and t Oh yeah, yeah

a lot. What are you paying Adrian for? Yo, let's run through the list of things that you paid for at the home with a girlfriend that you're really not contributing enough. But we went, when we went to San Francisco, I paid for you know, half the freaking trip was mad expensive, So like I had to pay her back for that. I paid that back. They paid for her ticket. No, I paid for my ticket and half the room. Oh that sounds fair. Oh no, because half the room she

had paid in the beginning for everything. Oh, you're to pay her back when you want your money for that? Oh as soon as I got the check, I deposited and then then mailed her real quick. I all the trips that I took with my ex boyfriend and all the fools that I go out with. Now, I don't be paying for nothing. I'm not giving you half of anything, Yeah,

especially if you invite. See that's the thing. That's where I think Adrian might be a better person than me, because if I'm coming to see you perform, she is a better person. And I'm just so you know, back up, back up, we're gonna put a pin in that and come back to that shade. So do not know that and behalf of the people listening also did not know that. So if I'm coming to see you perform and you get in a hotel for something that you're doing, I'm

not giving you half and we sharing a bed. Sis if I wasn't here, you to pay for the whole thing yourself. That's what I That would have been my mindset if I was Adrian. Yeah, which is why I don't have a girlfriend. No, well, if I wouldn't have, if we wouldn't have went together, I would have just gone with somebody else who was in the festival. Yeah. So I actually I fucked up. You sure did. That's what That's what you get for bringing your significant other

to work. Bring your girl to workday. Yeah, but I needed her. I needed I was too nervous. I was so anxious. My anxiety was anxious. Yeah, and then talking dirty shoes. I love that it happened to genuine, genuine, misspelled genuine. He was on a show that's on Bravo. I think Real Housewives of Atlanta. No, it's it's something like you're like your boyfriend is cheating on you with something like cheaters. No, it's something stupid. But he looks a mess. He looks so blown. He was so fine.

That must mean he's like an alcoholic or maybe he's the like he's popping pills, because I feel like you bloat when you do drugs. I just want to let you know all the people who we're like, oh my god, that person was so damn fine. It hits the hotness fades away eventually. Meanwhile, the people that you thought were not cute. I'm glowing. Every time I walk by a sore window, I'm like, is that my face down? Oh wow?

When I tell you I was not cute high school, in junior, high school, and college, let me tell you something. Sisus thriving. Now. My bone structure is popping. Also, I don't have glasses anymore, so I've always had bone structure, but now I just I had a little round kid face, little beaver face, little chipmunk face. You've always had these cheeks. You never had a puffy child face when you were doing drugs. You didn't have a round sodium face. Oh yes I did. Oh my god, my face was so

fucking out in any chip monks. Okay, it was for me. For me, I can use some weight on my face and my body because I'm thin. I'm gaunt, gaunt. Yeah, you're giving me a Yeah, you're giving Johnny Dipp's daughter the quote unquote my damn Yeah, I'm giving you. I'm coming in and I'm stealing everything you're giving me. Have you ate anything at all today? No? Your face is serving pursuit of happiness, sleeping in the bathroom with a baby, pretending it's a spaceship, all right, we get its face

is serving poverty. No it isn't. It's giving you a Do you want to be on tap? Yeah, definitely. I want to be on top of somebody's bank account. We you gotta get on top of a dick first. That's not happening that that time is coming gone. Really, you're just gonna be gaunt forever. I mean, I'm definitely not hooking up with anybody for money. It's not happening. I feel like, for the right amount of money, I'll hook up with somebody, you know, for the right amount of money.

I am in there. I'm sitting it at you. Hear that. Listeners, I don't know if yo, I don't know who is listening, but I know from the dms they're all over. There's all over the world, since Africa, they're Australia, there's like, there's tons of the UK. We have people everybody, and we have a lot of messy listeners because they like the podcast. So I know, y'all messy. A lot of people listening have a price. Everybody has a price. Every single person listening has a price. None of y'all a

bet it in me. You don't even know how much i'd sit on a dick for. Yeah, but at the end of the day, if you've done it for free, well you can do it for money. What's some currency being exchanged between loves? Yeah. Well, my whole thing is it's not It's not that I wouldn't do it for money.

It's just I don't think somebody's gonna ask me anymore because they're just like, yo, you've been through too much, You too jaded, you're gonna get on there and you're gonna be smoking a cigarette, So tell me are you done? My next shift is at two. I'm gonna be drinking a couple of coffee. I'm doing coffee. You don't put the cigarette ash in his belly? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you'll be like, all right, well you done? Yeah. I asked the dude once during sex if he was if he

could hurry up. I was like, I got stuff to do. Really yeah. He was like what. I was like, can you can you hurry up? Recently? No, this was back in my uh, this is back in my reckless youth days, so a couple of years ago. Oh my god. Yeah. I never was able to talk to somebody like that during sex because I just feel like that's such a vulnerable moment and I feel like that is the time to just lie, to just be a little bit more

gentler and no nicer. Okay, see, I'm slipping that if you're inside me, or you would like to stay inside me, I should be allowed to say whatever the hell I want if I'm not comfortable talking to you. You shouldn't be penetrating, sir. You thought about all the people that you weren't comfortable with. But you let bang is that? What is that what you're running through right now? You're like, I didn't even really I wasn't even really sure what

his first last middle name was. Oh, since I had a Samantha moment where I had to like count people, and there's so many people who were missing on the list, and then like a month later a name will pop up and I'm like, oh, fuck damn. And then you have that one extra person. You're like, oh, yo, that didn't hit me on another I'm in another ring. I'm in a whole of the text. Break it now. I'm like, fuck, I don't remember that. I don't remember all the names,

but I remember all of the people. I remember all the people. I mean, my body count is real low though, so I remember. And then some of them you'd be like, yeah, but that was in Mexico. I don't count, and then you'd be like, then that dick was trash that time. So that doesn't get that's not fair because you already have you're under ten people. No, I'm at ten. I'm

probably at eleven now. Oh really, yeah, there is there no. I think that's because the last time I counted it was nine but that was when I had a boyfriend, so says I'm at a cool eleven. Now, okay, well bro, we'll make it twelve just the case we got one. Wait wait, okay, so we got we got La, we got Russian or Polish or whatever, and then the Scottish nigga Scottish and then that's two. That's nine plus two was eleven. Sis, I'm saying twelve just because I forgot a dude in d C or you know a man

who's Jason the nigga who was missing a two. Absolutely and if I had that absolutely could not be. If you're missing a tooth, that means that body doesn't count. Oh my god, dude, that was That was funny. But I definitely got my I got my chili cheese fries. From whatever situation you got going on. We were we went it was like a year ago. It was exactly a

year ago. We went down to DC for our friend's thirtieth birthday, chilled, and this dude was like enamored with me, and I was like, well, we're both hungry, so he paid for me in Sydney's food. It was so wonderful because I think so I think I was rude. I was definitely, I was like, I was definitely a fun wing woman. Was I the nicest? No, Like, I'm not gonna call you a wing woman in that situation, Sis, because you weren't helping me get him and and you

weren't helping him get me. I was helping this. You are helping yourself. I was helping it be funny. That's not a way you were laughing. I was laughing. We were laughing. That makes it easier for that's not a wing woman's sister woman, the person that like sweeps in and like helps you seal the deal. The duke was not gonna get sealed with this man. He was missing too many teeth any look in the projects. What a child.

I was definitely a wing woman, and a wing woman is if you if you are a good wingman or a wing woman or a wing person, and you and you want to tweet the definition of wingman in Sydney, her Twitter is just said bw No, it's n y C. But I I was there to help you have a good No, Sis, you were there to secure the bag. That was That's the new millennial wing woman, the person who make sure their girl is having a good time.

It doesn't really matter if you seal the dealer, no long as you're as long as you're having a good time, then it wasn't funny silly. But you're not a wing man. You're not a wing man. You are just my shady ast friend, my partner and Petty just shading people while we were spending their money on mimosas. I'm a wingwoman and I don't care. You can't take that title away from me. I'm not giving it to you. If I wasn't there, if you weren't there, I still would have

had my food paid for and drank for free. You didn't add anything to the situation as a wing person. Oh wow, Okay, well, Sidney, if anything, I'm a wingman because I hooked you up with some fries, so technically I was your wingman. Honey. I was gonna get that anyway, because then some hood nigga came in and paid for everybody shit that was. But yeah, that doesn't still doesn't make you a wing man, says I don't know. I know now why you think you're a good wing man

because you don't know what the word means. No, I do know what it is. I just feel like you don't appreciate my presence, Sydney. Your presence did not help me in any way in that situation. You are you guys, You are so funny, That's what he said. Yeah, because that's true. These are facts. Royce Royce was laughing, Oh, Royce, sometimes you're a friends with somebody terrible, but you're like, this is a nice So I be friends with them and then like the truth about them comes out and

it gets to be too much. He was one of those friends. He was He's so deluded. I mean, I felt like it was I felt like it just got too It was not that deep, and it got bigger than what it was. And I was just like, we could still all been friends. What's the problem. I don't understand why we stopped being friends. Y'all had a fight.

He said that you didn't like him something like that. No, since he came to your to the birthday show and you didn't say hi to him, you paid him dust And he was like, I mean it always comes to Poor Marie acted like she didn't even know me, And I was like, well, she has lasik. She can't see these new eyes, don't see your old age. I mean she can't see. She's just fucking you know. Oh that's why. Because our last show, he said, I didn't say hello to him, our last packed, sold out, sweaty ass show

in a basement on the Lower East Side. He came in. I said, hey, I get to move it, and he said she didn't. She didn't stop to kiss my han under me on both sides of my face. That's what happened. Whatever, that person is dead to me. Honestly, I have not seen them on the comedy scene since. I hadn't seen them on a coty scene before that too, either. So oh my gosh me not better your life? Wow, because we heard you at least one time. You're fucking savage.

I can't souvage. That's the word in French once it so vage. Yeah. I appreciate your your honesty, Marie, Thank you so much. So we know that I'm eleven, maybe twelve bodies. Can we talk about the twelve that you remember? I mean, it's all bad, to be honest. I mean I was just thinking I've gone back on it, and I'm like, damn, man. I was such a lust individual. I was one of those Lifetime channel movies that's like she's too young. Yeah, that's the name of all the

Lifetime's young. Yeah, it's just it's one of these things are just like, damn, man, I had absolutely no guidance. I had, yeah, study at that age was trying to guide you wouldn't You would just brush them off. You'd have been like, I don't have time to listen to your preaching. No, I'm gonna go get some dick. I was a sponge at the time. I definitely was. You know, people, I would listen. You are spending the time people were

using you to wipe up jeez, I sunge. I mean I was soaking up the information you were soaking up. I just feel like nobody was giving me the tools that I needed to. So you grew up around old black folks that were like trying to drag you to church with your childs. Okay, if I was to take up soak up what they were, I was supposed to be a virgin forever. I mean, he was gonna be

a hope. Church girls be the worst girls. I mean it's in your DNA probably, but yeah, I mean I just look back and I'm like, yeah, my twenties were so foolish. But the end of my the end of my twenties, I started slowing down, and I'm like, damn, is this how how it's supposed to be. I feel like your shit can't come to a hole Like you gotta wean yourself off the whole you got wean yourself off the peen, No, the whole journey. You can't just

like stop abruptly. I've stopped abruptly many times. But I just I feel like I didn't have a wild and crazy twenties. I feel like, you know, they say women reach their sexual peak in their thirties, right, like that's what we're at our horniest. No, that's not your truth. Well I wouldn't know, because you know I'm not there yet. But I just I feel like I feel like, uh, does that mean I'm a I don't know. I feel like I gotta let loose and I'm not doing a good job at it at all right now, but I

feel like I gotta let loose for my thirties. I'm just gonna just do everything that I want to do and not listen to anybody and ask for money for plan bing. But you don't listen to anybody anyway. You do whatever the fuck you want right now. I know, but I didn't have a reckless I mean, I would jump into cars with strangers for real, and I should definitely have been murdered. But I just feel like I didn't have like a like a time in my life where I can look back like you and be like, dude,

what was I thinking? Honestly, it's better that way, Marie. No, I feel like it's worse now. I'm telling you as a person who's been through it all. Cues the quiet storm from mob Deep. I've been through it all. You hear that storm? Yeah, that's me. I've been through that shit, and yeah, some of it was fun. But for the

most part I could have done without. Ever been in a situation with a lover or a person a potential lover that you were actually scared, like that you were like, oh, this dude might kill me, or like oh I might not make it out of here tonight. No, if anything, there was like, Yo, this bitch is crazy. She gonna run upon me at my job. She's gonna try to be friends with my mother. She too friendly, she friends with all my friends. She's she's blotting. Yeah, yea, yeah, yeah, Yeah,

that's actually terrifying. Yeah, definitely going to be friends with my friends. Please, I don't want you to meet my friends ever. If I if I'm banging you casually, don't you don't need to meet my friends. Yeah, I think I'm at the point I have. I have people who are following me who's friends with my ex, and I think it's time to block them. Yeah, but I feel like I'm about to do well. So why would I block them now? So they could see the ship that I'm about to do, So they could this nigga know

she's winning. So how about you block them now while you're struggling, then when you pop unblock everybody? Am I struggling? Because on Instagram it looks like life is great? So I mean on the podcast you just said you waiting for some checksis on Instagram I was like talking about them checks too, So I mean I'm Comedy Central's up next? You know? Yes, yes, yes, go ahead, run through the IMDb credit cis you know we got this podcasts that's two weeks behind. Yes ahead, we got the Patreon that's

flourishing also, maybe four weeks. Absolutely, Yes, I'm not getting married anytime. Give us the stats. Money will come eventually. Eventually, that's the key word. I mean, I'm looking slender, gaunt. My clavicles are popping like they're about to hit you in the eyes. Honestly, the way your elbow looks right now, I am scared for you. But it's so skinny. I'm thin, you know, I'm thin. I see you got on some workout pants. Did you go to the gym today? No?

I didn't go, So what's happening with the gym? I went to the gym last week? You know I was doing great, old baby, that counts last week. Yeah, I didn't go to them at all. Last when I was biking, So like, you know, listen, can we talk about bikes friends. In the last two days, I've gotten into accidents on bikes. Who our friend Andre Hot Sauce. Andrea fell off his bike, flew over the handlebars and said he's covered in bruises

all over his body. My quote unquote Boss Tony at the radio station, he always on a bike, landed on his face, his whole lip is busted, and he broke his elbow. And I'm like this, why you can't be hanging out with white people? Have the guitar on him, because that they could be having an instrument, So that kid a guitar. He had a whole keyboard in his back.

Like you can't bike here some bongos chest either way, Like that's terrifying to me falling off a bike or falling on a bike, or happened a bike fall on top of me, Like I got an assurance. If something happened to me today, I would go to the doctor. I would use a fake name. I would leave. Probably, Yeah, I probably use a fake name because I want to go to a good hospital. People keep asking me about you, and I'm like, I know nothing about Marie. I think

she's a stone cold liar. I think her whole, her whole situation is not true. Her name is not Marie. Well, it's definitely Marie. If I was used a fake name, it wouldn't be No damn Marie. Why Marie is like the blandest and driest, bacious name. That's the name to you. It's a good alias. And Marie. Nah, I was walking out shit the other day, like it's my name, really, Marie? How Samuel and you get, of all the names in the world, we settled on Marie. Yeah, it's actually Maui somya.

This is pretty it's pretty boring, but but it makes up for all the personality you have, which is which is so excessive, so like you know, it bounces is out. Imagine if you had like a big ass name and that hair and that personality, but oh that is too much, I'd be like, celestial, h yes, celestial, celestial, let me get some of that tea. Oh, I'd be like, she too much. I'm just called juice. I would just call you c yeah, and I'd be cool with that celestriot. Yeah.

But look at me. My name is Sydney. That's just like, you know what that means. My whole name together, Sidney Washington sounds interesting, but just Sidney by itself. I have a lot of Jewish people come up to me like, you know, Sidney is a Jewish name. You know, it's a Jewish name. And I was like, well, my mother was at Mount Sign name like surrounded by Jews and just was like, well, let me give some of his

wealth and gave me Sydney. She didn't give you any money though, no, but she also said my dad's middle name with Sydney, my mother made up so many stories. Ramona, Ramona, Ramona. I don't you and Ramona have a lot in common? Okay's attracted You're attracted to liar. She's a great storyteller, I tell you that much. She's a she's a grand Slam winner. She's a moth storyteller, genius. What's another lie of German to dude that you like believed for like a long time, or that you may be just realized

it's not true. Like my mom is a storyteller too, Mama, there is a proformer. Okay, she's great. When I was little, my mom told me that because my little sister had has really deep dimples. And I was like, oh, I want dimples and I still do. And my mom was like, oh, you know you get those when your babies are just born. You just squeezed their face. It's really tight like this. That sounds like a lie. And she was like and then they get dimples. And I was like, a word,

why do I do that to my face? And she was like he had a really fat face. Anyway, I believed that for years, so I was like a lie. I was in like seventh grade and I said that. Somebody was like, uh, look, they were like that's not how dimples were. No. Yeah, I mean there's so many things that just don't add up in my family, and so I'm just gonna just chalk it up to the whole shit is a lie. What my mom told me that if I went to bed in a nightgown with

no panties on, that monsters was gonna climb into my vagina. Yeah, rapists, that's true. She's monsters. You're saying rapists. Yeah, rapists are monsters. Yeah. I think she was talking about like spirit cis like like demon rapist. Well I sleep, but that's naked now. So I checked my house regularly for them. Garmonial tooro monsters. I'd like, I can't just rapist hilarious. Actually, that's not

funny at all, exactly. I just wanted to bring the movie all the way down again again, speaking of bringing the mood down, No, bringing it up. Uh. In San Francisco met Jesus Samorrow and ah wait a minute, talk about let's get into this, talk about a time of my life. Let's back up, Let's back it up at the beginning. Let's talk about who they are, because everybody listening is not a fan of these and Marrow if you don't know who they are, you don't know about podcasts,

and they are the gods. They are dig odds. I love these stands for them. She's in their behive. Oh my god. Ahead, So walking walking downtown in San Francisco, wal get my way downtown. So I'm walking. It's warm in San Francis. So you had your side boob out. Yeah, everybody's you know, dressed for the weather. And then I see this nigga that looks like he's from New York, dressed in all black, looking mad hot, got those sneakers that's like, those are chunky, expensive, they don't really go

with the San fran vibe. He's got to be from New York. And then I look and I'm like Jesus, and he looks and he's like, yeah, Jesus is the black one. Yes, And I said, hey, he's by himself. Yeah, he's by himself. And I was like, hey, I'm in the I'm in the Clusterfest too. I know you're the show is today. Just the way you're telling it, I'm like, I know, you sound like a fan while you're reciting the story to us. Right now. He gave me a hug, a side hug, A full hug gave me feel his

diffriend on your thigh. I didn't feel it. He gave me like a hug but not. It wasn't as close as it should have been. Oh my god. But that I was like, oh, this is my girlfriend. But I was like, my girlfriend was there? Didn't even mentioned that you were with somebody. I mean, Adrian already knew. I gave her the rundown, Like, babe, I genuinely like these guys so much. Why do you like them so much that you're willing to embarrass yourself? And I just I

think they're hilarious. I think they remind me of us so much. They're so witty, and they're funny, and they're honest, and that they're not even cuteest that it doesn't matter. I know, I don't care about looks when it comes to like talent and things that I truly care about looks. I mean, I care about looks too. You're my friend. Why do you think we're friends? Why do you think we're doing this? As soon as you lose an arm, I'm gone, But my little nub gonna be real nube.

I'm gonna have to photoshop arms in the photos. That's too much work. I'm gonna get tattoos all over the nube. I'm gonna have to sign it up. Nob gonna be poppy. No, I'm like, Yo, here's my friend her nubnub me and minub me and minub me and the nube. You and this black man who's not attractive but you're in love with. Yes. I was like, hey, I'm gonna be on the show. He's like, oh, where, what's what time. I was like, oh, it's it's like right before yours, so you probably won't

see it, but I'm gonna trying to run yours. And he's like, oh no, cool. Yeah, He's like I'm gonna try to run yours. And he was like He's like and then he's like, you know how far the festival is from here? I was like, dude, you got like a twenty minute walk. He's like word. I was like, yeah, you got some time. He's doing bad. He doesn't have Google math on his phone. Sat check it before you left the hotel in that hot ass sweats. No, he just wanted to, you know, explore. Did you introduce your

girlfriend to him as your girlfriend? Yes? Okay, did you say this is my girlfriend or did you say this is my girl friend? No, I was like, my man, and then I pushed her to the side, do her in front of my bus. And then later that day, uh, clearly, I run to the show. I tell you, I'm like, we're going, everybody's going, let's go. Let's back up right before and he said that to us. Me and her girlfriend got nice and high. Oh, all got so high.

But your girlfriend, for the record, was taking edibles all day then smoke. That was the only way she could deal with me. She needed to be highly sedated. That's crazy, yeah, oh she she as soon as she went to the dispensary, she was just popping them shits in her mouth. So we're there, we're watching them and you guys, I was so high that I was, and also confused because if y'all are fans of theseus and Mirro, I don't know

what the podcast is like. But they were up on stage reciting like they were like, this is is your boys, such and such a ka, such and such a ka, such and such a ka, and then they would put the mic to the colony. They would put the mic to the audience, and the audience knew and I was like, is this a bit? Like y'all do this amatime? You get on stage, they do the bit and that's why, bitch, we need listen bits like that, hey bits, We need segments,

we need things for the followers. Followers, what do you want us to do? What should be mean? And continue to be funny? That's what? What should we be called? You know what should we called? You're the nube, Marie and the nub taking we need something for the people. But anyway, they're watching, You're high, and I'm like, everybody's looking. They're like, what we don't understand the thing that they're saying. And I'm in a trance. I was like, I understand them,

I get them. I vibe with them. These are my dudes, so crazy. So they finished, they finished, they get off stage. So I'm gonna go say hi, Marie, let's go. And I was like, you don't need me, I said, I grabbed you. I said, yes you. She yoked me up by the nub guys. I said you're coming and I was like, babe, I'm about to act a fool. Just giving me your heads up and she's like, yeah, I know. And so I run up on them, and he looks and he's like hey, and he's like, I'm a smash tonight.

He's the way his eyes lit up. He was like, oh, look at this group. He has no He's like Sydney's like, oh my god. It was so embarrassing. I said hey, And then the way you look and the way you were standing, I was like, oh my god, she's in love with this man. I was like, he remember. I was like he were definitely remembered. He's like, hey, what's up. He's like, yo, I just wanded. You know, I was mad high when I was in the street. He was because he was a little weird. But he was weird.

He's not weird because when he when I saw him after he gave me a real hug, you felt the dick. He felt it in your belly buttons is literally little nube. It was in my bladder a roast, you know, it's a pill. For that, you had to go like a garlic pil Oh my god, shut up. Okay, so you felt did you feel a dick for real? No? I didn't. He ses he's a little thin. He's on the in side. He's real thin. He's gaunt. He needs to do arms mixed arm legs and Corey he needs to he needs

a trainer. No anyway, Jesus, I love you. Uh. And then Maol was behind us. She's like, oh, so y'all gonna sweat this nigga. I'm here too. Wait, Sidney Yo. Sidney was looking at this dude and she's like hi. She's like, oh, that was really great, and she's like, we have a podcast too, and he was like, oh, what's it called? And she said the Unofficial Expert and he's like, what is it? And he like jilted his head and she like leaned. I feel like your lips

touched his ears. That's how close y'all were. And Sydney was fan girling out so hard. And I'm listening to the music that's playing. I'm like, what song is this? And I sound I sound hounded it because when I'm high, music makes me real happy, so I soundhounded it. And I was like, oh, I says this the Bodegga Boy's theme. Y'all got your own themes. That's what we need. This. We don't need bits, we don't need segments, we need a theme song. That's what we need. And I was like, oh,

it's your themes and I screamed it real loud. She screamed it, which she completely interrupted. My weird ass, awkward ass me talking to this. I broke the ice she did. And then I was like, oh hey, Marro. I was like, oh hey, and he gave me. He's like, oh yeah, what's up? And he gave me a hug. But he was like, bitch, you like I've been here, but I didn't even see you hug him. I think I had walked and I gave him a hug too, because I was like, no, you were there the whole time. Marie.

I was like, I need you be here. It was so funny. Sidney was like, we have a podcast together too. Uh me and my partner Marie. And then she's like this is my girlfriend h and uh oh hey Marol. I was so rude to Adrian and Mirro. You're rude to yourself, sis, No, I wasn't. I have never in my life as a New Yorker walking through the streets of New York seen somebody that I like so much that I forgot words and fangirled in front of them. Now I forget words just because I let them walk by.

And then I'll be like, Sis, let me tell you, just walk by. I'm not gonna You're not gonna see me sweating nothing. Nobody Nathan's I'm scared, dude, because one day, one day people people come up to us like that. So I'm just passing. You know, you have people pass like that, and I'd be like, Sis, you you excited to see us. I'm like, Grandma, hands don't even have lotion on the right now. Continue, continue to give us all this love. We need it. Okay, I appreciate it.

I don't know I appreciate it. I appreciate it, but I also don't understand why anybody is enamored with anybody that they don't actually really know. If you ast where we talk for an hour, I mean, I don't really be telling my business. You've been telling your business. I feel like if you really knew me, you'd be like, oh, that's the ashy Haitian girl with her nube. I'm just

gonna stay on this side of the street. You would not come up to me if you really really It was the highlight of my trip, to be honest with you. I was like, oh, are you going to the after party? And they were like, yeah, sure, but they were lying. And then Sydney waited all night at the door and they did not come to stay after definitely didn't come to the after party. And when I see them, niggas, I'm like, yo, what's up you? Like you could have had a good time. Miral was gonna be like you

didn't even remember I was there? Yeah, But then I talked to somebody else who didn't go to the after party and they were just like, Nah, you don't want to go to those after parties because it's all like industry. That's not fun because then I gotta be on. You gotta go to the after party where the real like we can just hang out and have a good time. Okay, So where was that after And I was like, nobody

told us about that? Where was that after party? We didn't get invited, nigga, which was crazy because you literally let him put his dick on your bladders, So like, why would he not tell you? I don't know he did in my number? You would give him your phone number? Oh? Absolutely, since I honestly I want to collab with him. I want to I want us to do something with Jesus and Merrill. And then our friend ben No, I don't

want to do anything with them. If you don't act like this, I promise I won't your eyes turn its little hearts. You have the emoji heart. I promise I'll get it together. But I just need you to be more supportive. I have been supportive. I do not support you acting like this in front of them anyway. You're like, I just want to collaborate. You're like Helga from Hey Arnold. You're like you are like a wall of Jesus and Nero is crossed out. Your face is pasted on top

of Mirro's face. It's just crazy. I just Jesus was like, yo, you want to just do something, you and me. I'll be like, Bymory, be like later, I would say, I will let you go, says you know. Sometimes if you if you gotta let the horse wow doors, you gotta let them go. If they come back, they're yours. But

if you come back a horse, yes I did. If you go follow the nigga with the oats in his hand and the followers, if it's decents said to you, let's work on something together, and you were like, by Marie, I'd be like, all right, bye. I would let you go Sis. I'd be like, don't let the door hit you want your flat ass one win? My ass is flat out. It's not big, is it fat? Is it fat? Wow? I would be like, later, good to know. These are good things to know. I mean, I mean, listen, this

podcast will still thrive. I mean maybe thrives out the right word, but it would still go on without you. I would still record here in the dark. I'd be like, day number sixteen, Sidnig is dead to me and dead to y'all. Let me tell ya what was she tweeted today? And I will go through your tweets and dissect them with a fine tooth comb and be like, and that's why that alway is dead to us anyway, don't forget to rate subscribe. I remember when Sydney went to the Cookout.

On the Cookout episode, she went to the halfway halt. We would go. I would go through every single episode and talk about why you were so terrible? Oh my god, and I believe you. It would be good. People would be like, Yo, this is a real recap. It's a recap about old episodes with the Marie twist. Listen, you know what you know? Who's dead to us. Oh man, I wouldn't. I would find a way. Listen, Marie, I do.

I do my best. I'd let people know. I'm like, when you invite me, you know you're inviting Marie, right, you know that I don't even know what you're saying. I tell them, I'm like, listen, if we if there's a boat and you invite me, you better make sure there's two tickets. You better make sure there's two life thists because I need to life thiss. Also make sure it's enough boats. I saw the tatic they didn't have enough boats. Mad people died and need a side boat.

You decide my boat to escape. It's a life raft. I can't swim, don't I mean to no boat that doesn't have enough left jacket city. Uh listen, if Jesus wants to invite you out, sis, y'all can go. I'm not even on third wheel it I'm just going. You know I wouldn't be third will it would be Mirro is married. Jesus, I think it has a girlfriend. Anyway. If this is not a romantic, please please, that doesn't matter.

These dudes are young, and they're traveling, and people are reciting their raggedy ass sketches and stuff back to them. They're getting big headed. They making a little bit of money now, they got name brand socks. They're banging women on the side. Wow, you're gonna say this on this podcast where they could possibly listen. Miro's not listening because you didn't show him no love you. I think you're so funny. Jesus might be listening. Some fun dick from

the back, that's what he says. It's so funny, some fun dip from the back. I'm gonna start using that in the public. I'm just at the DMV the other day and somebody try to cut me. I should have said somebody from a Yes, I'm like, this is why we should come up with these guys, so we can just scream stuck my dick from the back. Yeah. I mean, if anything, I need to get a catchphrase. Yeah, that's definitely. We need to work on catchphrases. We need to work on a theme song. Let's get a theme song. Oh

my god, said you sound crazy. No artists, we need know how real SoundCloud artists who can put some we know some SoundCloud some SoundCloud niggas who put some ship together. Yo. The next mixtape I get that's gonna be art thief. Yo, my man, you like, yes, yes, I do, give it, give me the album. This won't be the yeah theme for the otherficial Yes, and you know they make they make so many mixtapes. They don't know they fucking work.

They gonna hear that ship. They're gonna hear it on Tom Square because you know we're gonna have a billboard and everything. We're like, that sounds familiar, yea. They can't pay royalties for that. I want to. I want a theme song that sounds like the John Cena song that like I wanted to just be like, oh my god, like Jada kisses on it. Jada kisses on that. Yeah, well Jada kiss You know he needs money and so he got business. How do we do this? Listeners? You

know what we don't do. We don't really ask for much. But I really think that there's a lot of people listening who can actually be a part of the fam. They can help us grow. So if you know artists who can get some beats together, if you know a rapper who's not I don't read words, I don't need rap on the theme song. I need a rapper. Give me the music. What are you looking for right now? Are looking for the Podaga Boy theme right now? Because I feel like you are? Wait, do you have it? Listen?

It's in my SoundCloud history. You want me to play it because I feel like you're gonna just your pants? You know. I love this song so much. We need a theme like this. It's so good. We can make it happen, Marie. I want can we just take his theme song? Can we just make it our? Yea, let's remix it. Here's the here's the Bodega Boys theme song. Let me play it for you guys briefly, Sidney, please took your cervix back into your pant I just the

guys are incredible. They're incredible. Is there's a strong word being the way I am with them? I see how somebody can be fanning over someone and someone else be like, I don't get it. I know for everybody. Ah, this is so good. There's something such a fan Oh my god, Marie, we need how do we do it? You listen, get high and listen to the theme song. It's so good. Yo. Hey, yeah, numb it up, numb it up. I was like, what song is? Yeah? My num being numbed up, my num

being numbed up. I think the song should just be a mix of the Johnsena song, and then I feel like we shouldn't make it up, just blend them together and be like, well, this is an original track. Oh my god, Marie, this is nuts because I feel like, you know, we talk every day and then we get on this podcast and I'm just like, how did we stretch this out to a fucking hour? How do we stress this shit out to an hour? And we'd be like, yo, we can still keep it going too. I mean, it

hasn't been an hour. Sis. It sounds like you're trying to get us to wrap it up, but it's been forty five listen, and every time i't forty five minutes, I'm like, yo, how do we get this far? Dude? Honestly, Sis, you could have just kept that to yourself. No, you know, I am. I'm very on Brad. You broke the fourth wall when listening is like, this whole podcast is about me breaking the fourth wall. There is no wall with me,

you know. I just say every time we go to a meeting, everything we do, we're like, yo, Sydney's gonna say something real food. I really wish I could have seen her in front of these Bodegga boys. I was like, Sis, you look like a Justin Bieber fan meeting Justin Bieber to the first side. Yo, you like Oh. I looked over at your face and you were just like I was like, you root in my high service. I was like, sir, I gotta go. You're definitely like you could do a

lot better if you're going a fan. I mean, I just I am not that type of person. I don't. I think that That's just how I am with everything. I don't want anybody to think that I need them or that I like them more than they like me. So that's how I am in relationships, friendships, friend sure friendships. I guess if you want to put that there, that's high. With jobs, I'll be needing that job. But I'm like, I don't want them to think I need this job. And that's why I don't have a job, or a

man or any friends. But you know, are you happy? Ish? I'm happy, Marie. But sometimes people need to know that you need them. What do I need, Sydney? Which you need to know that I need you? You're I need to get what is going on in your neighborhood today. It's just Thursday, nig man. This is like the fourth one that went by. I didn't even need this is the first one that I've heard. Oh yeah, because you

don't heed anything except yo, we need a things song, dude. Okay, So yeah, you need me to tell you that I need you m m yeah. Anyway, that's all the time we have for you, guys, say folks. Yeah, actually, actually, you know what, We had a little tiff and I think we should talk about it on the Patreon. So if you can talk about it right here, no, no, if it's talking about it right here. If people want to hear about our personal struggles with each other, they

need to pay our trials and tribulation five dollars. Yes, Sydney and I got into it in San Francisco. We did it was and it spilt over until last week and I was in the pot. I said, I don't want to do the podcast. I'm not in the mood. She did say, I'm not feeling it right now. She texted me that, and I said, whoa, whoa, whoa. I know we were having a little issue, but now you're fucking with the podcast with the podcast. I said, well, let me go get my uber pool. I'm coming over.

Tell me when you're there, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, help me. Whoa listen, whoa. Yeah, that's what happened last week. I was like, I don't. I'm not I'm not feeling it. And Tony was like, yeah, I did. I could feel your lip quivering in the text message. Well, I didn't have a problem letting you know. I was like, well, I appreciate your services and I would like to continue this friendship. And I was like, let me put my

phone on airplane money. And then I threw my phone in the street and then I was like, oh, should I need that? And I ran back in. I was like, oh, thank god for this underbox. Oh my gosh, no way. I was like, Brie, are you fucking with the podcast now? I thought we agreed that we would not do that, honestly, Sis, I was like, you know what, I could see how people work together and they're not actually friends. It was

clear to me that day. I was like, I'll see it. Yeah, people staying together as a colleagues because they are making money, but they're not actually effing with each other. And I thought I was like, well, we ain't making no money, so there's actually no reason holding me here. There is no anchor. There's literally no reason for me. It's not one bit except friendship that is enough for you to stay. Marie. See, I could already tell tell what. Clearly, someone loves the

other person more than the other person. Listen, some people want it all, but I don't at all. Some people want it all, but I don't want at all. Isn't you baby? Actually that's I would not even have said that line. Yeah, because I don't why you're so fucking cold blood e Marie. Dude, I'm cold bloody because we uh my blood is actually pretty warm, because you know that carbyan blood in my veins. But I don't know.

I come from a place where people are not not affectionate, and I feel like, in my mind like when people are emotional to me, it shows a sign of weakness. Honestly, when people are like super emotional, I'd be like, oh, that's weak. The first tude that said he loved me, I was like, oh that's weak. I love you. I was like, you are literally terrible. The vice president of the fucking Devil of the Devil of the devil. I don't work for Donald Trump. Sis. My name not Mike Pints.

I just that's just how I feel. And you know, if is it something that I'm a grow out of, Probably not, because that's how my family is. My sister's the same way. She'd be like, no, but I could. I could honestly talk to your sister easier than talking to you. That's a damn lad, that's you'll be talking to everybody way. No, I was. I was like, should I call Lou? Should I call Lou? Lou will put her glasses on and put down her dumb balls, She'll

wipe her eyebrows off, like what's wrong? Shoot? Shit? Shit? What's warm? Shoot? What's happening? Shit? Shit? And louill be like, girl, you saw when I was there, not even I Mysge already knew the story. So she would have been like she would have been talking to you like she didn't know what happened, but she already knew. Oh of course she'd have been listening to you like oh wow, oh and then what ah, No, I definitely and then Marie said,

what wow, she's your sister. She would definitely know. I'm telling you, she already knew. They knew what was happening. I spoke to my mom and my sister every day that I was in San Francisco. They knew they got to blow by blow every Friday. They knew what happened Saturday. They knew what happened Sunday. They knew what happened. You don't do good. My mom was like, because you know, my mom knew you were there. And she was like,

what about miss Washington? And I was like, well, let me tell you about this dusty ass, gaunt ass, skinny ass nigga. Oh my Godma, I was like wow. She was like, I'm not making black rice for her no more. My mom was like, she don't eat in my house no more. No. My mother was like, the devil is not welcome in my house? Is that true? That would totally crush me? What it? I would literally it would be a bad New Year's Eve for me. Oh, because you're still coming to dinner on New Year's I go

every year, dude, it doesn't matter what I'm fucking yeah. Anyway, So they already knew what happened, but they I guess my Sageter would have gotten your perspective. It was just messy m and I feel like, yeah, maybe we should take the mess of the Patreon. Although I feel like the people listening deserve to know what happened last week? Do they? Yeah, because y'all doing this year for free? You know what I'm saying, you gotta But they're on the train trying to get to work, or they're like

on the they're getting ready. Somebody listening to this right now is putting on their brows. So id even listening to this right now is doucheing. Okays, people, it's people. What's the thing where you clean your butt out with the little bobby? People doing colonics? No, I'm talking about like when guys are preparing to do anal what's the thing that they do anima? They do? Somebody's doing an animal right now. Listen to this. They deserve to know why what we were arguing about last week? And you

saying they gotta pay five dollar? Five dollar? You don't think? Why are you looking at my foot? Is my fet Your foot is pretty damn clothes. Wow, you're saying you saying this as the person who puts your feet on people. Exactly. I mean, I'm good fifteen inches between my foot and your face. Sis, I could see the whole layout of your toes, so they're actually really nice. You said the bitch fu I get you. Oh my god. I feel like that's a good place to leave it. We're gonna

slide to the Patreon here. If you want to hear the story. Yeah, if you want to hear that story, you gotta come to the Patreon. You gotta, you gotta come to our show. We gotta show doing twenty four. My accent somebody said to tell you you know how to do that accent? No more. I feel like it was starting. You gotta come through the show twenty four twenty seven. On the twenty seventh. That's awful. We're doing a live show of the podcast. Yeah, at the Ludlow

House in August. What's the date, Sidney, because I have two dates in August fifteenth. They said that we weren't supposed to give the address and stuff out, but you know your Ludlow House. Go ahead and google it. Let that Low House bang on their door. It's supposed to be a pri an event. But bang on the door and tell them that you're a fan and you would need to come in right right. It's a member's only event, and we can only have thirty non members there. But

if all of y'all show up, they can't turn y'all. Yeah, they have to let you. And it's you know, it's a free show. It's free. It's very clean, venue is super cute, it's very nice. And if you're looking for investor, if you're looking for somebody to invest in that couch, that's the play. It's the show to come to. Okay, it's gonna okay, it's gonna be people with four yalls and poor alas and never that. It's gonna be people with half baths. Okay, you gotta have money to have

a half bath. It's gonna be people with the whisper shut toilet lid. You know, you poor people toilet slam, but a rich person it closes scimon These is niggas with more than one pantry. So oh people have more than one pantry. Yoo. You're saying that, like you know that you could have a pantry in the kitchen and then you could have a pantry like you know near the yard that's called the shed. Cis a pantry near the yard. I think that's a garage that it's a gay rage gay rage. You gotta put the car in

the garage, put the keyr in the gearage. So Ludlow House is like the little sister of the Soho House. If you watch Gossip Girl or Real Housewives of New York, you know what the hell the Soho House is. It's real cute. So we're just trying to get our most ratchet people's up in there. You know what I'm saying. We gotta spice it up, so hit us up. Let us know if you want to come, because we can only put thirty people on the list, so you gotta do your best if you want to be on our list.

The show starts at eight o'clock. It's gonna be an hour show. Is Matt Quick. It's gonna be really fast. We're gonna have it out gifts. We don't know who we're gonna have on the show. It's just know that it's gonna be a fire. Okay, go and it's and it's worth it, and we're gonna be real cute. And I might even get like, you know, a partial cat suit too. Oh you do want a cat suit? Well, what am I gonna wear? I'm probably gonna have want a cat suit I'm have a tiny romper. I'ma have

a bodysuit on it. It's gonna be a Beyonce performance body suit. I see it, You see it? Are you seeing the vision? Anyway? Bye, guys, Bye, This is such a good song. We need it. Also, hook us up with the theme y'all, some of y'all DJs with your mom. Bye.