No Mics to Give

Forever. Wait hold on, mmm, we were not recording.

So we lied. So really, I get these audio files I can.

See, and we make it very cute for you, because do you have to do any edits no, ma'am.

I edit myself out sometimes.

Okay, So that's for you, babe, that's.

Not us, it's not Yeah, you're right, you're right.

Yeah.

So I mean I think we're the least you have to do work for because we just go that's true.

Oh, okay, thank you.

I mean, I mean last week I was, I was, I was a little curt I guess by I sent you the graphic and there was no there was not even like a heart added to it or anything. There's no thank you. I just saw it on social media and I was like a little thank you would have would have.

Oh okay, well here we go. Thank you so much for all that you do for the podcast. Andrew, don't wait, hold on, sir.

I mean, if you don't want to do the fly er, you don't have to.

But I mean every time we do something like shout you out, we don't. You don't say thank you all the time, and it's just like, no, you don't know, you don't Okay, you don't, honey, Wow, all right.

I don't. I don't know if it's exactly interchangeable.

Oh, I mean I think we I think we show that we're very like in many ways. And please please just leave this into the episode as well. If this is how we're starting, this is how we're starting the episode. Hi, guys.

In the in the future, I guess will both be more appreciative just to thank you. It would be really nice and I will.

What do you need, Andrew?

I think you know exactly what I'm saying.

No, I don't.

I do not, Andrew, I don't.

I don't know. I don't know if you're fucking with me or not.

With you.

Listen, Andrew, next time you send us the thing, I'm a.

Hearted thank you. That's all I want for Christmas, his hearts, I said, I send Andrew.

Whenever I asked for it.

Whenever I asked for it, I say, thank you.

Here's the here's the thing. And maybe this is just coming from someone that has just had a very long day.

It is, actually Andrew, it is I'm going to tell you that.

And I and I don't like to be like this because it's like, Okay, why do nice things if you're just gonna like expect things in return, which I feel as though I'm doing right now.

Yes, you are, you are.

I will take ownership for that. However, you know, I uh you know, I texted you Happy Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving? Uh you know, I said I was thankful for you.

Oh did we both not respond?

Well?

I had already put on the instant unofficial beneficial expert that I was thankful for my little family, so that in.

Itself that was me.

And then you messaged me thank you after I had already posted it. Yes, yes, so you were. You were actually just saying thank you to the thing that I had already started. So you see, I didn't get a happy Thanksgiving message there. Oh you send it to the group.

Okay, here's okay, here's my final my final ye.

Okay, come on, Andrew. This is your closing statement.

My closing statement. It was my birthday a few weeks ago, and I don't know who posted it to the story.

It was me.

Okay, thank you, Sydney, thank you.

Thank you. Yeah you didn't say thank you or I said I was going to do it, and I.

Did do that.

I'm almost positive message back, thank you.

Okay, well, Andrew, so we both did respond on Thanksgiving to that message, yes, and.

I'm just saying I'm just saying that in combination with me sending a happy Thanksgiving message and also you know first, and then also sending the graphic without getting any response, I was just like, Okay, this.

Is what I'm gonna say about that. When you said the way you said you sent the things, getting messaged first makes me feel like you think that we send those messages at all.

Yeah, we don't.

That's them, yeah people. But I also wanted to say that I started that and that's why you messaged us because I was. I said I was thankful for my little family. Yeah, and I reposted all three of us. So she did, she did, and she used a cute photo.

Okay, I'm really glad that we have this conversation.

Then I will say this, Andrew, I think that we don't.

I don't expect you to say thank you to us all the time, but I think that we are one of the podcasts that actually includes you and don't dream like you work for us. And I know that a lot of people do treat you like you work for them. So okay, we treat you like a friend as you are. You're a friend of the pod, You're the unofficial third Hell shoot, do.

What an introkay? I? I yes, I agree, and I am very thankful. I mean that's why Thanksgiving message, I was thankful for it.

Okay, So Andrew, how many people did you send that Thanksgiving text? Too? How many people do you text on Thanksgiving saying that you're thankful for them?

I wasn't really doing anything on Thanksgiving, so I was just like texting, just going through my conversations, and I was like, who who deserves things?

Andrew, you're you're you are telling.

A fib because that is not true.

That is true.

We gotta go to the tapest. What time did you post? What you posted?

Wait? So no, No, what you're doing now, Sidney. What you're doing now is you're trying to create this narrative saying that you're the only person perceiving a Thanksgiving message from me, which I feel as though you're just like trying to make yourself out to be like the most important.

Listen, Andrew, all you need to say, you don't have to say all that. All you got to say is link is still not in bio Okay, she's been posting on the page, and she's been posting in the stories, but the link is the.

Not in bio, actually over I'm officially over it.

You're over link in bio.

I'm over it. It's become a gag at this point.

It is a joke.

It is a joke, but it's also like I've had I've taken over for two weeks.

Now.

Did anybody say, hey you, Sidney, I see you're doing good work.

You want me to slide in there?

Absolutely not, honey, Oh, now you involved in me in this. The second time you posted, I said, Sydney, you're doing great. I'll do the one of us, the solo of us. I woke up, she had already posted it.

I didn't remember that well.

Then, obviously you didn't remember it because you posted it after I told you I was going to post.

I don't. It was not in written form.

It was on the phone, which means you were not listening to me when I was talking you, and you were probably texting or sending nudes of your titties to somebody on your phone. Because I said, I said, Sydney, I'll post the next one of us, and then you boasted it. I said, oh, I mean I you we are five minutes in and if you have no idea what we are talking about. It's about appreciating being messy.

No, it's not just anymore.

You you slid all the way back, all the.

Way the.

Chair because you were like lying in it. You home out of the conversation.

That's fine.

Wow, this is the way that all the episodes should be started.

I don't even know where, Like the cut is no.

No, no, no, there's no cut.

No no, there's no cut.

Leave it in there. It's fine, welcome to It turns to our attention that Andrew edited edits himself out.

Sometimes we didn't even know that.

I also did not realize that you were cutting your own voice out of our podcast.

Well, sometimes I like stutter for my words, and I just want to.

The stuttering is part of the art. It is say words wrong all that's all literally all the time.

So what you're not going to do is tell me how to produce a show.

What I am going to do.

What I am going to do?

What we did? Okay, Andrew, I will say this. I know that these other podcasts are working, you working, you working. They have a lot to do for the man. Every night. Come in, we come out, we out, we boom is done.

Yes.

Sometimes we're late, Yes, sometimes we can't find our microphones. Yes, sometimes there's construction happening outside my house. But we are here and we will make me and we include you and what it is that we do. So okay, I mean, yeah, you know next year I'll send you the Thanksgiving text. And you didn't even know, Andrew, I had a Quanta gift coming for you, and ever canceled, canceled, done. You're not gonna get it no more. Okay, it's going back to bezils. Okay, Andrew, we love you so much.

I don't know. I can't.

I can't do enough posts on the gram to let people know say nice things to Andrew. He's he's a part of the family. I fight people if they don't say nice thanks to you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

My king.

Oh, don't do that. You calling me king, No.

Leave it in but we're not doing that. We're king aggressive.

It's aggressive.

I was just looking for it. Thank you, not kidding.

Thank you, our beij king, our Dixie plate King.

I do need to show you when you did make that post. I guess, and I guess it was like September. Here's the fallollowing here, the followers went from here to there after you made that post. It was just a really great day. So thank you so much.

Wait, hold on, your followers did be.

Yeah, so it went from one thousand, nine hundred and thirteen all the way to two thousand and twenty and fifty.

You picked up one thousand fifty followers.

No, that would be so what you.

Should be saying is thank you.

No, I'm just okay that that one post really did wonders.

Brother, brother, the way the way that you came in white hot tonight.

Who all right, the numbers, the numbers show that the numbers don't lie.

We do our part.

That all I say. It was it was, it was. It was a one time occasion. That was the if you look on the grid, there's only one post that I'm dagged in. I'm just saying, I don't don't need anything else. I just want I just want to have this conversation.

I guess, well you had it, and do you feel better?

Yeah? No, I absolutely do feel feel better because you're right you you made me realize that it is. I mean as if I already didn't know. It's such a joy working with you both, and you know, there are a lot of benefits to this this position.

Namely followers.

Followers being first and.

Foremost loyal, loyal follow who fight, who be in the d ms like, oh we need to have.

Andrew on more, okay, And you remember.

When you didn't have a microphone, Remember they were they were ready to fight us because they were And.

So I mean I engage with the conversation where he's not even Mike, and.

You would be in the background like actually, yeah no to my mom, and we were like, that was a dog thing.

Not that actually wasn't us.

That was that wasn't the official expert.

That was the If we had a mic to give, honey.

We would have gave it. We had no mics to give, no mis to give. That is the title, No Mike's to get.

And if we're if we're going to be having a conversation where I am gracious toward you, I do want to mention that after you did make that that post, I did get a d M from a listener saying that he was having sex with a fellow gentleman, but they were not an homeless man. They were having sex, and they were imagining having sex with me. What isn't that? That? What that? Really?

Nobody has ever said to me. Whoa?

That really did do a number for my ego.

Whoa, whoa wow?

Wow?

Yeah, goodness, what was the listener's name.

I'm not doing that. It was a very attractive listener. I will give it. I will give them that.

Okay. Yeah, when we posted on your birthday, people were like, first of all, we didn't know he was white.

Second of all, he's a daddy.

I remember the I remember that daddy. No, but I do remember the people didn't know you were white, and we were like, what, how did you know?

What?

So there's that. Excuse me, girl, let me go on to the unofficial expert page.

I'm gonna do a whole post.

I'm like, first of all, I don't know if I've ever said thank you in my life. I haven't, and I just want to spend that time to my dear producer no longer intern.

This looks so bad now because this is the last thing I'm trying to do in twenty twenty.

Oh no, no, no, it sounds like your twenty twenty is ali. No, it sounds like it's the final thing that you yeah, actually is because you bring very on board, Bring up, bring up Thanksgiving. There's snow on the ground.

Wheb bruh.

But you know what, I love this rapport of ours. I mean, it's we we love each other down and the people are here for the drums, and you know you check me and I check you too. We check each other boot it's checks, all checks. I love this conversation that y'all are having about how ungrateful you both are. But you know, I.

Mean, we're very grateful for you, Marie. We always we always tell you.

I don't even need you to tell me, friend, Honestly, it's fine. The listeners tell me, oh yes, okay, but Andrew, your name is all up and through to reviews, so don't even do that.

Okay. I feel off.

I feel as you know, Sidney, Sidney let him feel what he feels.

We don't. We don't need to unpack this, this white guilt that might be coming to the unofficial expert today.

Yes, we love you, Andrew Beige guilt.

Thank you.

We like you a lot, we do.

I love you both as well as evidenced by my Thanksgiving text.

Honey, you know what it is? A good Thanksgiving text? Vemo, vemo would have been a great.

That would have been and you're you're absolutely right. I did. I did gift you cash money last year if you do did not for thanks, not for saying no no no.

And I and Andrew, I used that gift card recently during your pandamn, I found it and I was like, Andrew, friend the card, thank you. I think we took our black asses to Shakeshack and got I think I caught you a burger too.

So yeah, it transferred right back to me.

It went right to those glutes, baby babe. Can we have a moment of silence for Shakeshack? Oh damn? Don't we fucking miss our old life just a little bit?

I was there yesterday.

Oh damn.

So tell us what happened.

You go to Shakeshack, you order for food and you eat it. What is the question?

Is the chicken sandwich the good?

I don't get the chicken sandwich. I get the double cheese for and in order of cheese fries.

Oh so a lot of lactose, A lot of lactose.

Yeah, it's just going to go into.

Restaurants and stuff, right, now it just still feels like weird and just I mean, the numbers are going up, so we we have to acknowledge that. And food is obviously important, it's a necessity, but it's shakeshack really on the like top five priority to eat No, So.

I mean I'm looking at home, it's all takeout.

But I mean you're.

Trying to hold hold hold hold on, Sydney. Are you trying to do act like you don't eat take out? Like you cook all your meals in a house? Is that what you're doing on this year honest podcast Tonight, the most honest podcast I've ever been on. Mind you, we tell no lies here, no lies detected. We do not lie. The light detective tests determined that was a lie though what you just said, So you're, yes, you

He's like, but it really is not helping New York. We're hurting so bad.

The industry is tanking and to have.

People shut things down right before the holidays.

He just feels like it's it's just wrong. There's like gotta be middle ground. And I was like, sir, I know you, as a restaurant owner want money and you want to feed the people who.

You work that work for you.

But if we don't want to wait till the last minute where it's like where it was before in March in April, we just we have to take better steps to stopping this. Yeah, we do have to take better steps, but you have to think about it from their perspective too.

It's not over.

And the thing is is that you can't talk about these movies and you can't talk about this production because they're taking proper protocols. The people are getting tested left and right. Everybody has masks on. It's annoying. You can't eat inside, you have to eat outside. You have to keep your mask on. Like there's just things that people are not doing at restaurants. Nope, it's very willy nilly. And at least if I know, if I go to a shoot, which me and Marie have tomorrow, they're making

And that's just on period.

Right, And like when I was on set like two weeks ago, and all of these productions have a CDC person on set that like if they see people standing too close together, they're like, you separate. They told me and Sydney we had to separate, and I was like, we live together, and they said they don't want to hear none of that. They're like, we don't care.

They shot it.

They actually like tried to drag us in the new like we don't want to mention any names, but like you know, even if you guys live with each other or very close friends, like best friends like Sydney and Marie, we don't give a fuck. I was like, yeah, they dragged us in front of the crew and then the makeup people and anybody who's like really close to your face is wearing a mask and a face shield. So on set, it's really really annoying how careful they're all

I don't know what it's gonna look like.

But I think moving forward is we have to kind of let go and let God in. Like that, Amen, let go and let God in.

That's the title.

No, it's it's just whatever we had before, you gotta wash that out. We are we have, We're moving forward something new and we kind of have to adapt. You just have to adapt because I don't really I don't want it to be like it was in March and April. I really just that's worse than being stuck inside. Just knowing that people are dying left and right. That's scarier for me. Are there any countries that are like open back up like that have it figured out fully? New Zealand?

I think that Like Canada's pretty good right now and they have like almost like zero COVID cases.

So yeah, but Canada is cold. I don't want to go there. Oh we go. So Hawaii is buying people round trip tickets to work from home in Hawaii for you have to you have to be there for thirty days, a minimum of thirty day. Why Because they need people to stimulate their economy. And part of the part of the package if you get chosen, because you have to like apply, and I did apply, and my sister applied to.

Why you didn't sit in my wasis?

I was like, I don't know if I want to be in Hawaii with Sydney, I'll send it to you after. But if you get selected, you also have to in addition to being there for thirty days, you also have to do some type of community service, some type of volunteer work while you're there.

That's beautiful.

Yeah, I mean, I've never been to Hawaii and now I'll better look it up right now, because you know, Marina I really given us the information. Well, it was on, it was on, it was on CNN, it was on It's on CNN's Instagram, so you could just go there. But they're doing they're doing it. I'm not either, but my sister says it to me, you know, she a nerd. So I think they're doing a couple of different cycles

So I might have missed the deadline.

No, just I just did it. I literally just did it before this podcast recording. Okay, all right, well me and Andrew will do that as well. Yes, let's record the podcast. Why do you think you should be selected for this program? I was like, because it's warm there and maybe I'll learn how to swim, and also I really liked Mowana. Yeah, I just I think I talked to Marie to I talk to you about this today. It was just like, yeah, I love I want to do stand up and I want to be able to

Yeah we did.

But now we're trying to be more precautious because I'd rather stay in my house and make sure people are safer than when it seemed to be safe to travel in September.

It's not the.

Same for me. It's less about people and more about me. I'm being selfish. I don't want COVID. I don't want the antibodies. We know people who brag about having the antibodies because they're like, I'm immune now, I'm invincible, and it's like, well, you could still get hit by bus. But I also like, I don't want that on my permanent record. I don't need that the stain of COVID on my DNA, like I just I would rather not have it and not have to worry about what would

If it's any like consolation, I feel as though you both have really benefited from your social media stamp or presence that you've done since March. I think that these these videos that you're putting out weekly have all been like amazing and super shareable, and I think they're just fantastic. So I don't think that just because you're not doing a stand up from an outside perspective, I don't think that that's a hit at your career by any means.

First of all, Andrew, thank you for the compliment. Second, no, I agree with you on that. I mean, but I don't have to do stand up to make money. And I think that's the difference between me Sydney and some of these other people is they were paying their bills by being on stage, and it's like a girl I could, I'll make money from me in a the house.

So that's what I'm saying.

I was just like, you have to adjust and just be accustomed to what the times are now. And yeah, it fucking sucks. Like I said it in the video. I don't like having to do videos. I don't like having to be on social media as much as I do because I am in my head a lot, and I and I we take sometimes I've done like ten twelve takes for just this like a silly video, and it's like it's driving me crazy. I'd rather be in

So that's what it rent.

The rent is due, Okay it is. I bet you mah landlord is going to show up on New Year's Day to pick up her.

Yes, show enough, show enough.

She shows up on the first every month, it's like says, you can't even give me a grace period. No you can come on the third.

No.

I know people that don't pay their rent till is seventeenth. Those people live in you know, crappier buildings than me, but seventeenth. You know, I wish I could be so lucky. But if if she came to bring up the round of the seventeenth, that would I would literally I would forget probably more than I already forget. Yeah, which is every single month.

Oh my god, your name.

Is Sidney ungrateful Washington. Oh, thank you, thank you.

It's not bad, Oh my god, But I feel as though I've just spent a lot of time thinking about it in the past few minutes since having the conversation. I feel it is important that that we have these conversations. There are a few episodes every single year that we have a conversation the three of us about about now your name is Grassias.

Look at look at the.

Oh no exclamation, monk.

I couldn't. I couldn't make it upside down.

But we have these conversations where it's a little bit heavier, which I think it's important to have. You know, we we have these conversations and they're important.

Do you think the conversation was heavy for me?

It was because I feel it was the result of just a very long day and I was just like, okay, like here, I am not getting a thank you for the graphic that I made you last week.

No, I'm thankful I'm thankful for the conversation.

I'm glad that we're in a place that we can talk and we get it hashed out and then we move on, because that's been our dynamic from you know, jump or maybe it wasn't as easier, easiest to talk about things, and now it's just like we talk and then there's no sweat off our back and then we could keep it flowing.

And I love that about us exactly, Andrew.

I feel like at this point we're all friends, you know, Yeah, for the most part. You know, we spent at least once a week, and you know what's going on in our lives. I mean, I have an idea about what's going on in your life because we'll chit chat a little bit, either at the top of the episode or at the very end of the end.

It is very nice. You always do check and I do appreciate that.

I ask you how your day is going. Yeah, I ask you how your dating situation is going, to ask you about your family. I asked you what you were doing for your birthday. Yes, I asked you all of those things. And it's not because I'm just waiting for Sidney to get here. I honestly. If I don't want to talk to somebody, I don't talk to them. And that's true. She doesn't ask all the people who are listening to this episode right now who I do not talk to?

No more, that is true. I've seen you in rude full effect mode.

Yeah, yeah, in fact, but I uh, I don't know. I think that it's important to be honest and to be you know, to stand in your truth, whatever that is. Sidney knows that I have pledged to live my life as honestly as possible moving forward, and that means that when people ask me questions, I don't lie to them. I'm honest, like, you know, because I think it's dumb to lie. I mean, I lie to you know about dumb stuff sometimes like I'm on my and I'll still

You should.

There's there's too many institutions that want to stop us from thinking that, oh I should ask for more, or I should be treated this way, or I should be able to say this. So always ask for more. That's my philosophy. Always ask for more. This is a this is an open forum, and it's it's a safe space, low key and you know you you are an ally and a friend and family and so yeah, it's an open forum. But it is still our.

Podcast that.

Record the door. The door is a jar, but it's not all the way open, you know what I mean.

That's the title. This is still our podcast. That's another title.

We have seven titles.

Not gentrifying this podcast by any means. People.

People are very happy that you're a part of this and you help us, you know, not just talk to each other, because it's sometimes I guess you know, I'm lying.

It's always great, but they have.

I'm gonna say, Sithy, you call me seven times a day.

Seven days a week, certified freak.

Yeah and pussy mm hm oh okay. So in a more news and more news, I have a little story to share story time, an anecdote. Yes, a couple of weeks ago, I was, you know, minding my black ass business, just doing laundry and I had to take my laundry out. Oh they didn't come pick it up. No, no, the woman was like, I'm not working today and I said, okay, well my sheets still need to get clean.

Well I have my things. Oh no, no, I was going to go pick up my laundry or whatever.

But I'm going and you know, yeah, ya know where I live, it's a homely place.

But it's also.

It's a family neighborhood though yes, very West Indian, not gentrified. So I'm walking and all of a sudden, I'm on the FaceTime. I'm on the FaceTime with my friend and I see a little thing like walking across the street and then it's on the actual block that I'm on, like, it's it's walking in front of me, and it's a tiny little mouse. It's not a rat.

It is a mouse. It's like a little field mouse.

I know the difference because I've had a field mouse in my apartment when I lived in Harlem. If a field mouse is in the house, is it still a field mouse? I think they could just be called mice at that point. No, no, no, there's just because some mice are aggressive.

And this was like it's a baby. It was a baby little mouse.

It was.

It was harmless.

It actually looked really cute, so I was like, oh so side bang yeah, And it had on little tiny birkenstocks.

It was harmless. It was in front of me.

And then it tries to get into this building. And I know that if it was my building, I'm as cute as the mouse was. I was like, well, I don't want that mouse going to this money. Then that sucks.

So the little mouse is the door is kind of cracked, so it's trying to get.

In, and I'm like, I'm like, oh, I'm on the FaceTime with my friend and I'm showing I'm like, look at his little mouse, and the friend was like, Sidney, I'm not that white, Like I don't.

I don't want to.

I don't want to see this mouse. Please get it off the camera. I'm not that white.

Yeah.

Meanwhile, Sydney, how white are you the whitest ce CEO of Beije Incorporated Anglo Saxton Productions. Yes, yes, Caucasian caucassidy ink. And so it's there and I closed the door. I said, I'm so sorry, guy, you gotta go. And it's still there, and I was like, well, maybe it doesn't get the hint that it can't get in. So I'm kind of nudging it with my shoe and I'm like, come on, guy, you gotta go. Like I was, I didn't want somebody to open the door and kick the mouse because it

Don't do that.

What shoes were you? What shoes were you wearing? Little like I did this. It's fine, okay, Please don't ever wear those shoes to my house ever. Again. That's why I'm I nudged it.

I have two pairs of the same sneakers.

Don't wear one for the mice, one for the mice and the one for regular streets, so it wouldn't move. And I was like, but I see it trying to move, but it's not going in the right direction. So I'm nudging it. And then then I pushed. I tried to push the door a little forward, and the fucking mouse leg is caught underneath the door.

And I'm screaming, screaming my head off.

Was the mouse screaming no?

But you could tell that the.

Mouse was in pain. It was going crazy. It was pasting out, yes, yes, yes it was. It was doing that like shake. That's like Harlem shake, yes, Harlow shaking, free stretched, let it go, That's what he's could but it couldn't.

So then I I fucking I was like, oh my god.

So I.

Try to push the door a little bit more and the leg is hanging on by a thread.

I'm wheeling. My friend was like, okay, this is national natural natural selection. It's like, it'll figure it out.

You gotta go, you gotta leave, you gotta leave the scene. And I said, no, no, no, no, I can't. I feel terrible.

So then I pay wait, wait, hold on, I'm laughing at your friends saying it's natural selection. Doors don't exist in nature. So did that you did that? So I I said, okay, I'm screaming. So then I start pressing all the buttons on like to the apartments, and the woman was like, what do you want? I was like, please open the door, please, please, like I sounded like I was in trouble. And she buzzed me in and I opened the door and I I like, you pick the mouse up with your hands? No, I didn't, did you?

What did you do?

I nudged it a little bit more and it was it was like limping, but it moved, it moved, and I was I was like.

Mary Beth, what do I do?

Like the it looked like it was struggling so bad, And I said, well, I think I should just pick it up and let my cats have it, because I just feel like I don't want it to just die in the street.

I might as well give it a better way to Every single choice that you made.

That day was wrong, wrong choice, every single everything from from walking your picking your laundry were you holding your laundry while you were doing all this stuff?

To the no, no, no, I was going to pick my laundry girl, I hate.

So what did you bring them to jail?

No somorrow.

The story is my mind your fucking business. Sometimes you think you're helping, but you're hurting that that mouse didn't have nothing to do with me.

I didn't live in that building. I should have kept it moving. If you see something, say something.

Maybe I should have rang somebody's bell and hey, there's a mouse downstairs trying to get in. But that could have been somebody on the first floor's mouse. Let them. That could have been somebody's pet. That mouse actually probably lived in the building because the way it was leaning on the door.

I was like, well, it's been here before.

It's not aer yo, you crippled Tom and or Jerry. I don't know which one is.

He's got three legs.

Now.

Do they grow back?

No, like a cartoon character.

They don't grow back.

Like a gecko's tail. No, Sidney, the leggy's not gonna grow back. The ghetto, literally the ghetto.

I feel so bad.

And then I went to go pick up the clothes, and something was telling me to just don't even try to look for this mouse.

Just keep it going, keep it moving, And I did so.

Seriously, mind your business, you didn't look for the mouse. You're not always there to help. You're not always You're not going to be somebody savior. You climbed up somebody stoop to close the door.

It wasn't a stoop. It was just like the door was right right, street level, street level, yeah mm hmm.

And wait, and they buzzed you in after you said just please please please.

Like yeah that really?

Yeah?

How many how many doorbells did you have to write before somebody frobally unlocked it?

Five? But when she said what do you want? I was like, damn did she know I was down here trying to get in, or like it was in.

The window watching you do this with this mouse. She was like, uh uh, I don't want no, whatever she's selling, I don't want it.

Yeah, and you're like, please the mouse.

There's a mouse.

The mouse.

Girl.

I felt like shit, girl.

But then the fact that you okay, so you felt bad for the people who lived in the building, then you felt bad for the mouse, and then you were like I should murder this mouse by bringing it to my house. Make it make sense, girl. I don't care what you have to say to me. Okay, clearly you don't because you hang out with mice. You not even my friend. No more after this, after this canceled mind changing your profile picture to one of a mouse, mini mouse.

Three blind mice. I don't want the blind mice, the blind leading the blind, no friend.

The mouse has eyes but is handicapped in another way now because of you?

Do you guys have a.

Story of like thinking you were helping somebody, but you actually uh you know, made them lose an arm that I would.

I don't want to be alone on this. What I don't want to be alone on this? I'm sure there was plenty.

Like I remember I tried to set up a friend with someone and because I was like tired of her complaining about being single, I was like, okay, bitch, come to my job and like I'm sure you're going to be able to get somebody. And she's like is this me?

No, it wasn't you. She ended up getting blackout, blackout, drunk, just just a mess.

Just but did she meet somebody?

No?

And I had to pay for her to get in a cab and everything. But this is your friend, so you got your money back later? Yes?

No, it was like, well, you know I was giving her the drinks.

It was.

It was kind of my fault.

I was going to say, who was bringing her the drinks that made her blackout?

Wow?

Well, if you were an adult, you should know how many drinks you should have?

Well do roughly? How many drinks you think you gave her?

I don't remember. That was years ago. I just know the important important things.

Yeah, you paid for her cab?

Yeah, blackout and I had to pay Wow, Marie. Has that ever happened? Has that happened to y'all? Y'all thought you were helping someone, but it just made the situation worse.

M well, I don't usually try to help people.

I love that for you.

Thank you, thank you so much.

I don't know.

I mean, are you helping somebody if you break up with them?

Ah?

Yes?

Okay, well then I have helped somebody before.

Yes, if you're not, like, if you're not adding to their.

Life in a way that like, well if they just are not in the capacity to be with you, and but they won't say I gotta get out.

You got to be the bigger person, be like I gotta go.

Yes. But also I broke up with somebody whose time I was Are you watching?

Sorry? Somebody's TikTok what.

We asked the question and then went on to take.

No, no, no, no no.

Before she asked the question, she told her grotesque mouse story, then asked the question, and then jumped on TikTok.

No.

I just opened my phone and the TikTok was that's the last thing that was open.

Sorry mm hmm.

You know, Andrew, Yes, I have tried to help somebody before and Sydney and that person, the person does not want to help. So you know, I've been giving her tips on things not to do on the podcast or our podcast can be better, and she just continues, no, no, no.

I feel as though Sydney has been really great in the past few months, and not on the phone as as often.

You're saying that while she's silently watching TikTok right now.

I believe I do believe Sydney today about the TikTok thing that just happened.

I just I opened them. I opened the phone, and that TikTok was the last thing that was up.

The phone should be closed.

Got you got you, got you chief.

My phone down.

I don't know. Sometimes Sydney, I think that you think that you can help everybody and everything apparently because it includes animals.

Yeah, and that's a fact.

Yeah, you you can't help everybody. Sometimes you do have to mind your own business.

Yeah, you know.

I feel like I feel like there's a story here, Like have you ever broken up a fight?

No? I don't think so.

I can't. I can't fight. I'm not physically strong enough for that.

You also, my face, the way my skin is set up, I can't get you know, a scratch or well not.

How about like non physical fights. Have you broken up like talkie fights? You know what?

When I was in second grade, I was a mediator, or maybe I was in fifth grade. I regret it was. I was a mediator and I would mediate fights, but disagreements between students in the school. But this was like an official position, a mediator.

I love that.

I don't know why I just remembered that, but that's something that I used to do. And it's hilarious because I love drama that I'm not a part of, but you know, we love drama. But I've been remembering things recently, Like somebody told me yesterday that at the beginning of this year, I said to her, twenty twenty is gonna be a big year. For us every We're all gonna we're gonna do big things this year. We're gonna have an amazing year. And I was kind of right. It

Normal was like absolutely like disgusting when we actually think about it, like the normal life that we were living, like just like truly just having sex with whoever, you know, and just like being in a bar, like a disgusting bar. You know, it was really disgusting how we were like leading our lives.

No, Andrew speak your truth, booboo.

I don't know.

I wasn't banging nobody in no bars, No, I said, having sex with people whose names you don't know, but you know, I'm bad with names. But I mean, I don't know.

I mean, I feel like I'm just gonna be wearing my mask, like indefinitely.

I mean, yes, I think that masks are going to be a part of regular life for a while more. But are you going to get the vaccine?

Oh?

Absolutely, Sydney. You wonna get the vaccine.

Yeah, m yeah.

Are you not getting I'm not I'm not getting I'm not getting the first round. No, I'm not getting in the beta phase. You know, I'm gonna wait for like the upgrade. I'm gonna figure it out, and then y'all gonna update me and I'm gonna determine what I see, and then I'm like, yeah, sure, right, I'm gonna let them. I'm gonna let them get the kinks out, and then you know, maybe like the third round.

You're you're even on the list of people that would have gotten in on the first round.

They no, no, no, no, no, Andrew you okay, See you're thinking about it the opposite of us. I'm thinking the vaccine is gonna be so great that rich people are gonna get it first. But I'm saying it's gonna be so bad that poor people are gonna get it first, quote unquote not important people, and they're gonna see how that affects us, and then the rich people are gonna take it. Yeah, So that's why I'm saying I'm gonna wait. But you're saying, yeah, yeah, you have a point.

Yeah I could see that.

Yeah, she does, she does.

I don't know. I just you know, this country, anything that this country does for free, I don't want so that I don't even know if the vaccine is gonna be free or not. But and why you sent me a text today and they're like, the vaccine is almost here, and we're gonna text our patients to let you know when and where you can get if you don't get off my phone, no, y'all hit me up later. Y'all let me know later. Yeah, there's no need to contact

Save it's trash.

I'm like, but you know, I'm learning that we have to be thankful for everything that we, Like Andrew said in the beginning, you gotta let things know that you are great, Like I am grateful that this was a crazy year but was it like.

None of my friends died. My mom had COVID and she didn't die.

Uh. Yeah, I lost some work but also gained some work. Yeah, I gained weight, but in my ass, the love of my life. I have a two bedroom apartment by myself. It could be worse, and you scored it this year, so truly you're having I guess a good year. But I'm ahead being stunning, like it's crazy, like I could have something bad, could have happened.

To me and it didn't.

Yes, yes, yeses, I'm gonna go ahead and call the year what it is is trash. It's trash. Good things happened, yes, but overall, like gooder things could have happened if we were free to do what we wanted to do. Yeah, you know, I should be in Greece right now or something like that. I should be in one of these other countries having a man feed me grapes.

Or a woman.

I don't know. Maybe this year I could have been by you know, but we'll never know. We'll never know. This year fucked up Marie being bisexual and now I'm pissed. I'm curious, and hey, that's all you needed to say, and I started the year bald like bald, all doll like, no hair, and now I have hair down to my butt crack. So it's like, you know, I guess stuff happened. Time did pass.

But the title Marie could have been by thank you.

This is like the sixth title.

Okay, girls would have been crazy.

They would go crazy, gagging literally gagging many women that want Marie.

It's insane.

Which women, what they look like, what are their names, where do they live, where they work?

I don't know.

Marie is barely giving dick anytime of day, so I doubt you would give a woman some time during the pandem dem. Yeah, I think I'm serious about this. No new dicks, this, no new dicks December that I'm I'm currently in right now, it's almost over, so you're you're literally at the halfway, you know, you're at the finished line right now. Yeah, but but I but it's been no new Dicks since before December started. So honestly, Sis, it's like, I think you're trying to downplay what could

Are you sure?

Yes?

This?

I know exactly what day I did it on, so it's in a week. It's in a week from.

Today, So that feels like just like it's so like that not long ago at all, I know.

Right there, I know, oh right, I'm not gonna lie. I should have been having all types of sex parties in Berlin this year. But alas, here we are alas. But I had a good day today. I made a to do list and I hate I think, basically every single thing on the list. So today was a good day. You know, Sydney got her hair done today. It looks great. You squinting at the screen. Are you falling asleep? No? I oh, Marie. We didn't talk about it in the beginning,

Is trying to take off my turtleneck?

Oh my god, worry.

It's not funny, Sidney.

It's hilarious because if you pulled your neck, if you strained your neck taking off a turtleneck, that means you need to make some changes in your life.

Okay, it's clear that I need to make changes in my life.

We know that.

Okay, So what kind of changes you think you can go make? Just give us that one, real quick one.

What's obvious.

I need to stretch a little.

Bit more, a little bit more. When's the last time you stretched? Friend?

Last week?

Mm hmm, I know you did last week.

I was taking that bang.

Sydney trying to take off her turtleneck hurt herself because the turtleneck was too tight. Uh huh, Lara, Sarah eats up on the next Now, bitch, it's a turtleneck.

Up.

I'm only doing I'm doing, only doing cownick, you're doing you next, and you're doing the droopy, the droopy thing. I've been in fitting rooms. I've been in I've been in fitting rooms trying stuff on and then when I tried to take it off, it was it felt like it was too small and had near panic attacks where I was like, oh, I can't get this thing over my shoulders. Yeah, and thought that I was, I don't know, they don't have to cut me off, this off of me. But then it's like, well, you put it on, so

I know.

I saw she posted on Instagram the bangs Carolina. Is this a wig that you made? Or these are clippings trual hair?

Yes?

But you have clippings in yes, thriving.

My favorite person in the whole wide world.

Now is Carolina? I thought it was Andrew for sure.

What your zoom name is? Thank you?

Andrew, Carolina said she thought it was me. That's crazy, the way they need to be lying all of us. Uh crazy, what excuse me. It's like she's like a boy that has lots of girlfriends and she's like, baby, you don't want you. My favorite city's definitely a boy.

Yes, whatever, guys, what I'm not even I'm not even going to me, Carolyna, do you want us to schedule you for the pods? I'll get you on.

Get your veils, send me your veils, baby, Now tell me when you can get on. Well have you back, as the newlywed expert asked, very newly wet of her, She's already ready. Okay, Well, is there anything that we we should have talked about today that we didn't know? I think we I think we started off exactly what the people wanted. Yes, we gave them everything and more. They actually should vemo us for this episode because this was almost.

A Patreon When you say us, I do not want any venmos.

Just to make that very okay, Daddy Warbucks.

Is exclusively for Sydney and Marie. I am afraid of the potential reaction of this episode.

They they people love you again again.

I don't know if you know mcguiguy's and Magui Guy mcguighy. Why guy, Yes, please follow him because numbers do matter, okay, and he has really he has funny answer stories too that I really I'm in te We would like you to post more pictures of you, because.

When I get pictures of me that I like, they will be on the grid.

You will see them, so you don't have to sell you don't take selfies at all?

No, I don't know. It needs to really run through like a you know, a filter.

For filter you facen over there.

No, I'm talking about like I really need to consider, Like, okay, is this post worth it? You know there's a lot, They're all worth it.

Do you see these bitches? They are posting this same selfie over and over and with a different shirt on. Don't you do that to yourself? Do not put yourself through the ring or just put it up and keep it moving.

I'll post something cute for the holidays, for ugly sweater moment, that would be nice. I did just go to Jaker the other day and got close.

But you didn't get any ugly sweater some j C you got some cute stuff.

I got a Cashmere sweater.

Okay, So I guess you do not be that venmo or exactly.

That's why I'm saying they're going to.

You Cashmir sweater money. I mean, it seems like you ran through a stimulus. You should be accepting these vents.

No, I was not the one paying for it. It was it was a gift.

Oh okay, it was.

Why am I saying it's a gift. It's literally from my mom.

So well, your mom baide Ward is still give you guys. It was very nice that's nice. How's your mom. How's Kathy doing?

Oh, she's great, She's fantastic. Any updates not none that I can say on the podcast now.

Oh, okay, Kath, Kathy's good. Oh is Kathy calling the cops on black people? What's going on?

Kathy is not calling them. I'm telling her all the all the ways that she should be politically correct, and that does not include calling the place on black people.

I love that for Cassy. Well, I mean I think that this is where I'll leave you guys tonight. I love that for us. And again, uh, if we want to just recap, you're all thankful for each other. I don't know where I would be if I didn't spend, you know, once a week just checking in with my babes.

This podcast is like no other.

I mean, this is the real deal, Holy feel and we got you through the pandemic that's still going on.

But we've exposed ourselves.

We've we've douced our assholes, We've we've talked about our struggles. Marie goes on dates for y'all. So, I mean, Andrew is constantly. Before the pandemic, he was just out and about just I was fucking and sucking for the pod. So we don't ask for thank you that much, but if you want to, if you want to thank us for our trials and tribulations, we will accept. But also also people say thank you, all of them through the comments, I mean the reviews. So it's in there. They're in there,

Yeah, let me, let's let's read a review before.

We can't read them all on the podcast.

No, no, no, I'm gonna read the last one.

We see, we receive, we love them. Go ahead, Sinde read out loud in front.

Of the.

Unofficial expert. Okay, here we go. Let's let's read this review. Baby, all right, Look this is from ABC, MTV, B E t LLO L.

Okay, so we got industry in the building. I love this so much. The title of it says, love, love, love, love this podcast. I listen to it all the time as someone who struggles with depression and it constantly seeking something to make me happy. This podcast really does help distract me from negative thoughts and worries. As long as I have an hour in the day where I can listen to Sid, Marie and possibly Andrew, depending on the

It was nice.

When we have a guest, it's you know, they're not solo episodes, but when we have solo episodes, you know we talk to Andrew. So I appreciate you, ABC, MTV one two three, the E C JFK and I hope that you listened all the way to the end of the episode and you heard your own review. Okay, anyway, guys, don't forget to rate and come and describe. Don't forget that. This is what I want you to do. I want you to go to the last thing or maybe your

More from Andrew's Instagram.

Yes, yes, Oh my god, what do I do to deserve you?

Though?

That's amazing and your impact on my.

Life on the culture.

You see that.

Wow, Well I'm gonna go get some more eggnog or maybe I'll drink some red wine. I think that might be where I'm at right now. But obviously love seeing y'all every week, and this week it gets to see you guys twice. So God is good, it really is.

He always provides.

Mmmm. Anyway, Thank you, Andrew wye on that.

Thank you, Forever.

Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production. The Unofficial Expert is Executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Silio and Alex Ramsey. Senior producer Tracy Soren, Produced by Andrew McGuire. Cover art by Sandy Hoenig. To listen to this podcast ad free, sign up for Forever Doog Plus at Foreverdog