No Eggs Left w/ Alex English

Mmm with mess.

Okay, Hello, Hello, Hello.

Wow we really I mean I'm starting with some miss well.

It's a lot.

First of all, I just want to say we had an incredible weekend together. Sure, we were in d Cymoon on our honeymoon.

One bed, two girls, one bed.

You wouldn't let me turn the heat up to seventy five degrees.

Why does the heat need to be seventy five?

When you in the bed, you woke up sweating and it was at seventy So at seventy five you was gonna drown. When I get in the bed, I'm chili, I'm a kneemck.

My feet get cold. But you don't sleep in socks. I don't sleep in socks. And then you got me a pair of socks. So I was like, come on, husband, like big girl, you the man. Men don't be cold.

Maybe men should also always have on socks. So that's why.

Believe you should be the man.

Sidney.

You was Beyonce at the rally and suit with the popping up with the ball.

Yes, yes, but if anybody's doing a bob, it's Sydney. Guess Sidney doing the ball. Yes. The week two we did we put you in.

Miss Listen, they see what the name is on the title of the episode.

Just let us introduce you see this way.

You may have your past this podcast crazy, but it's like a whole thing, a whole little preble and I'm like, I see the person.

Well, damn baby, Maybe you know what, Sidney, this is why it's missed. We sho came early. We could have recorded the intro about it. Then it's okay, because you know what, once you leave this bitch, we'll be able to do things professionally like we usually do.

Well, we all even at the same time.

Okay, Wait, so Worrie, do you want us to bring bring our guests in and then.

I'm gonna walk out. I'm gonna come out.

No, no, no, you won't come out like a drop your coat on the floor, put your purse on the piano, don't you dare? Alex, your head is already in frame. It's okay, your head is in the shot.

Yep. Well yeah, let's introduce him.

Sydney's already said his name, so and you've heard his voice, you.

Know who he is. And if you've listened to the unofficial expert, then you already know. I don't know how many times.

You did that podcast, But here you are doing the very first first guest.

Unless you do terribleness, we'll bump you. We'll keep it on this now. I love that we.

Keep things very transparent at MESS. Anyway, it's the one and only Alex English. Alex Alex, Elizabeth English, Alex. We're so happy to have you. I mean, you are one of our most successful friends.

And most disrespected about YouTube. Oh that's crazy to be here at two thirty pm? And what time did you get What time did these mics get cut on?

Oh?

My god, well what time did you pull up?

I pulled up well before.

In fact, I had enough time to go downstairs and get me this really wonderful smoothie and still had about I'd say, three minutes to spare.

You know, okay, well let's talk about I was expecting what let's talk about it.

You have known us for how many years? Tell them? And you said, let me show up on time. This is really your fault.

You know, you know you're gonna came at two forty. I still would have had time for a coffee a sandwich at that.

By the time I got here, something in my spirit said, they're not here you.

Did Texas like where are you? And it was like where are you? And he's like, I'm here.

Who I was?

I was getting ready to start the podcast and all was gonna come in as the guest. Hi, this is Alex English. Y'all listen to mess Oh here.

They are.

Ladies and gentlemen. I guests claim to be the host for this.

We're on the cover. They clicked the pod. They see your.

Podcast is my idea with That's what they want.

To I knew podcast, tell us how it.

Should having the conversation. I don't have to tell.

You no, no, no, Remember I.

Gave this to y'all. Actually I never started making money ever. Start on that floor.

Everybody should hold on.

Alex is fresh off of you know, he was employed at SNL and now he's, you know, a free agent.

He's trying to collect everywhere I see.

I'm listening.

I'm handing out forms, I'm sending out reminders, I'm turning niggas upside down. I'm sending venmo requests. Wow, I'm like, I need every one of my dollars.

Alex.

How much is your smoothie? I'll pay for that today.

No, you're good.

It's already been paid for, already walking. Yeah, I am blessed and highly favored.

Okay, so you said you came up with this idea, talk about it.

I just came up with the name of the show.

But you also came up with you're listening the mas, Alex. I need you to say that in the same way that like if young Metro don what are some of the other ones? If he made back? So, yeah, you listening to music.

Alex, Go ahead, give us three different variations and then we'll use it one of them.

Ooh, you listen in a mess? Okay, come on, you listening to mess?

Give me one more that doesn't sound start with start.

Yeah, you listen in the mess.

That might be it, That might be it. That might be the one, babe. Okay, So how we do the show?

We talk about our mess up top, you know, to just get a little warm so you can feel open to like divulge your stuff.

So chime in whenever.

But I guess you went last time, Marie, So I'm okay with opening this.

That means she came prepared. I did. I did.

The thing is that something is always happening to me.

I don't know why people look at my face and think they can say anything to me.

And that's my problem.

Like I don't get in a car, I don't get in ubers and I don't have that face that looks like, don't fucking talk to me.

It's always like, hey, we family, what a cousin?

Yes, sitting.

You get in the car and you be like in the car, we all failed this. Yeah, you're asking for the US. You're like, oh, what's that smell? Did you just eat luncheon?

Here?

Like?

Of course people talk to you in the car, you talk to them.

Well, I'm trying to get a higher rating. I'm still at a four point six, and I really I just really think that I see a four point eight on my horizon.

Nicer to them, maybe they'll give me.

I think if you stop talking to them, you're rating. It's not me. They start off with it. Okay.

So anyway, I'm leaving from South Carolina at five o'clock in the morning.

I have an uber. He picks me up. He looks like an older gentleman.

I get in.

He's like, oh, you smell good.

I'm like, all right, I already know that already.

Well a little fucking oil.

He talked on some car.

You had a little love spell on there, just some white diamonds. You know how I do amber romance for the morning.

That's some little body flash.

But yeah, so you already complimented me on smelling good. Great, and then uh we're chatting. He's like, oh, you know, what were you doing here? I said I was doing, you know, a college gig. He's like, oh, you made it you big time. I'm like, oh, you messed up already.

Ye why you tell Why are you telling people that you do stand up comedy?

Right?

I lot to everybody about that. I'm like, Uh, when I worked at I was like, I work at I work at NBC.

That's not so far, but it ain't.

But it ain't. I'm like, I'll work in the building.

Well sometimes sometimes they'll ask me what I do and I'll be I make up a different thing every time. I'd be like, I'm a singer, I'm a teacher, a lawyer, a singer. Yeah, I sing at the church.

When what happens when they be like buzz out of song?

Yes, I love that. So so that was the first.

So that my first of all, I'm just an honest person. That's I'm sorry that I tell the truth.

So number one, you need to start lying.

Yeah, let me write that. Yeah right that to lie, Sydney needs to lie more.

So then I was like, yeah, you know, I don't usually talk to people who are eighteen, nineteen twenty or whatever.

And he's like, well, what what is that?

How?

He was no, no, no, he was he was he was sixty seven, was telling him about being with the college. I was like, I don't talk to people that young. And so he was like, well, what, well, how hold are you? And then and then he told again.

The truth and he was like whoa.

No, he was like, damn, you ain't got no eggs.

Wait a minute, they said you got that four classic seven eggs.

I will not take this from y'all. Y'all will not have y'all being ages. I will not have you shame me my eggs.

It's like that there.

Well, the for the listeners off the camera, I did say this, Sidney, you don't look like you don't.

Got no head.

Every time Alex says something shady, okay, every time Alex says something shady, please put the drop there like that or drop a bomb on it. So he's like, okay, you know he's giving me a comp a man like, oh, you don't look at whatever.

He's like, are you married? You have kids? I was like, no, Mayri start this.

Point, get out of my business.

Always he up, He tilted the rear view Mirroroli.

He was like.

He stopped the car pretty much, but his eyes were wild open.

He's like, as soon as I said I'm not married, no kids.

He's like, girl, you better open up that pocket and let somebody have it.

Oh my god, did you tell him somebody who got it? She got it. I didn't even want to get into that. You want into everything else.

I could just tell by the tone that if I would have said I'm gay, he's like, no, you're not. You just you just haven't had you would have put it in your pocket. When he said you give that pocket up, I said, oh, I have to give him one star. And I said, sir, you're doing a lot. It's it's not the sun is not even up yet.

I don't know you. He's like, listen, I don't want none from you. I'm married. I said, so now you said you're not even First of all, miss may bring in your face like this.

He double man, ma'n ma'am, man, ma'am with no man and no kids.

He said, Queen, But like that dude from the pop Ballooon video, Queen, you're not qualified.

I'm a licensed plumber, right, So yeah, that that was the mess that I was just like, did.

You make it to the airport?

Of course I made the airport and luckily our friend Larry Face timed me randomly at this out and so five o'clock.

This is when you get but you know what, you know where you messed up. Also, you just didn't pretend to be on the phone. Yeah, I'm great and pretending. Listen, here's how you pretend how to be and this is to pretend no, no, no, sure, but that's Sydney calls everybody, so everybody gonna call her.

But we're gonna get into that for the street.

This is how everybody.

This is the perfect fake conversation on the phone.

This is this is messed. This is how I handled that. Come on, I'm in the car. Oh sorry, hold on, hey, what's up? Nothing on my way to the airport.

You look like a fucking loser. How about that? Put the phone down and just tell the me you don't want to speak, but you didn't do that, Sydney.

You didn't have a phone and you didn't tell you didn't want to speak.

No, I didn't hear about it, Alex.

I don't care. He doesn't need to fake it though. She can just take it.

Somebody, Well call me, I'll call me. I'll call you when I get to the airport.

And this is why you got all the spring shout out to you actor method.

Okay, cool, all right, all right, thank you, love you too.

Yeah, my god, that's how you know you lying because you ain't saying I love you to nobody.

Okay, okay, that was my mama.

No, but yeah, Larry called me.

I didn't have no air pods and he's talking and so it seemed like Larry was my man. So my question, did it she had no AirPods?

There was like there was like.

Bitch, queen, but here's my mess, here's my mess, here's my question. Yes, what was Larry doing calling you at five thirty in the morning?

What what what? What? What is what? What? What is that?

He was?

Hey, Alex, when you have friends and you were up and you think about them, you call them.

Have you thought, Yes, it's an open door policy, bitch, Have you. No, no, no, no, open door closed pocket.

I don't love the open door close.

Yo.

So thank you guys for all of your suggestions things that I'll do better.

But also Uber does have a feature where you can request that the car is silent.

That that's the that's the level I'm doing in the South, I'm doing the upper I'm doing.

You did get Uber in the South, which is like your car not getting there for like seventeen minutes.

Oh no, I scheduled it.

I scheduled it, so he knew in advance he was coming to picking.

Profile ahead of time. He was like, oh, I'm picking up.

I'm picking up.

I'm picking up a batty with.

An attitude, a bat with an attitude.

Because no, no, I mean you've been doing something.

I was on lift, so I have a have a high high on a left.

Lift is where the people who Uber rejects go. So that's what the driver's lift are doing. Because you don't even need to have four windows or four doors. You can have two tires. His car was very nice. It smelled good. All the seats were you know, plush or whatever. He was a nice car, all the windows. He just was in the window. He said I'm sixty seven, I travel, I live life. You know, I'm retired. I'm just doing. He gave me so much in fifteen minutes. It was

Girl. He was like, girl, girl, girl.

I was like, I don't think he knows what he is or what he's doing, but I need him to stop.

One time I was in a car and I straight up said to a chatty driver, I was like, I would like a silent ride.

Please, What your face looks like? Silent ride?

Rightly?

Right? Yeah? And that's why songs in me your man, Marie, what's your mess this week? How about?

Well, honestly, I don't even really know if this is mess or not, but let's get into it.

Yes, it's it's mess. Yeah.

So I posted a video years ago about me saying like, you know, don't depend on men to make you happy.

Go buy something to make you feel better. And so some.

Little boy who looked like Bobby Hill said that the front of my hair looks like TRICEP pulled like ropes in the gym, and he did a video about it. People have been sending me this video for months, months and I've never responded to it. And finally I was like, I have to respond because now people are there's.

Like spinoffs, there's spoofs of this same exact video. So he got arm and chair. So I ordered a troll from Amazon on a Monday. It came on a Tuesday. I did the video on a Wednesday, on a Thursday. Now people are in the comments. You know, the people who follow me are like, queen, you got them.

But now the video has brought in all of these in cell basement engaged er man zero post having engagement.

It's all about going sure.

But I'm blocking people in real time, arguing with people. I learned my lesson off that Azelia Banks Beef fifteen or legendary, iconic, legendary, legendary.

I'm not.

I'm not going back and forth with anybody's minions or fans or nothing like that.

You pulled the rock up from the ground and the ruptures, cameras all like, and you know, it's crazy. I had seen that video a bunch of times, but I was like, I'm not getting ready to sit in this.

To Marie, I don't want to lose my friend.

People haven't ending it to me, and they've been tagging me in his video. I've never seen it, but people are like, oh, you beef it with a child, You be if it with a twelve year old. That's how you know you lost. Anybody that's commented more than one time, locked, anybody that's like, you're fighting with a kid?

Locked, anybody that did you did you view that video? Did you take that video in jet store? Did you just like take it as like, I just think it's silly.

It was Reilly right.

So there's this idea that you making a response to that video. It's like you being mad about it, which I'm like, but I think that's probably what the whole I think that's what the tone from them, from these people responding to you, because.

She's a black woman.

That's why they think when black women do things, it's ain't it's aggressive. Literally, rulers people are like, oh the blacks are mad again, Oh blacky black black. Like the comments are graz it's like thirty five hundred comany comments. That's amazing, and I blocked seven hundred and fifty people, good Marie that.

I just feel like their win is a win. I blocked seven hundred and fifty people already.

That's crazy, I'm or you could say, or there's a there's a feature on Instagram that if people say things, it already blocks.

I'm about to say, is it already? It's just it's just in your request because you don't follow these people.

Ill, No, they're not sending me. They're not sending me. They're sending me comments.

Yeah, oh shit.

And so I'm just blocking them as I.

See them, like I'll wake up, I'll just scroll and I'll be like, I'm going to delete ten comments right now. And I'm not even I'm not even deleting the comments. I'm blocking the people. And when I blocked them, I think their comments go away. So interesting, yea, Honestly, it just shows you are a comedian.

The people who think it's funny, we all came.

Together and ha ha, and the losers who you know, they drank mountain dew and they ain't got no friends.

They're upset and all they do is all they can do is type.

I engage with some of that ship sometimes id toxic and I mean, you know whatever, I mean.

The engage was bots too, just like I don't think about the internet like that. I don't care about these people.

You know.

I did a I did a TikTok about Donald Trump, and I started getting some maga people and.

I did see that.

But I was like, Okay, y'all can say whatever y'all want. I don't really what is the.

Tell us to tell us the joke? What was it?

It wasn't even a joke.

I was just talking about his bumb ask being at Madison Square Gardener and I was like, yeah, I was like, yeah, it did feel a little heavier on the island, smelled a little different.

Yeah, the air quality was a little orange.

Yeah, a little And then like a bunch of them just kind of like a little bit of them. We're just like, Oh, he's gonna win. I'm like, he's not gonna win in New York. That's what That's what I say.

And that's the crazy things, Like even if he doesn't show up, which is it was a ton of people from Long Island and Staten Island, you know where in New.

York, I'm gonna miss his messy ass. What just because.

The other day, like a week or two ago, he was at Marlago and this bitch he was having some events and he shouted out to the audience.

He was like, where are my gays for Trump?

And this guy was like right here, and Trump pointed at him and was like, you don't look gay.

That was very try me.

That's the compliment.

Well, like you always look a little bit gay.

Always my shirt, look at the colors, the fit.

The last time I worked, Iss Patel called me a gay gate.

What does that mean? It just give a little gay gay. It's like my people, go, my people, you're.

Trying to get you singing careers time.

Oh we are Brigma. Let me tell you something.

Sometimes people hear me talking in public and they just assume I sing just because of the you know, the the alto quality of my voice.

So I'm going to start taking some singing listens.

About to be on your Matt Rogers and have a Christmas album.

Yeah, I'm that's gonna be a Quansas and I'll be like shoot shoot, shoot, shoot head.

I'll be in the back.

The Classics on the fifth Christmas. It's my true love game to me.

Oh five cold and yeah, I'm seeing coming for you. I think you should have an Easter special actually Easter, Yeah, like.

Like Jesus talking about gospel album.

It's gonna come out and I'm gonna layer my voice. Yeah you name. Let's get into the mess that we prepare.

Yes, that concludes the mess of the of our personal mess, the meat, because can we.

Start with the little mess before we get into big mess? Okay started off for us.

So Subway is getting sued for using two little meat in their sandwiches.

Well, you know it's probably because of the lasteria. No, they want more hysteria.

The people are saying on in the pictures and on the commercial the bread is it can't even close, it's so much meat. And then when you get there, the meat beat the inner in a sheet of paper.

I don't know why.

I think that is because people are getting uber eats more. And I feel like if you go into the Subway and like order it in the store, there's higher a chance that that you'll get a bigger sandwich.

I feel like I used to work in Subway.

Whoa were there where Jesse was a more lead day?

Remember it never happened.

The more you know, Alex Alex English was a sandwich artist.

I was a sandwich artist.

Now what they say in the rule book, does it say you gotta fold it? Does it say you gotta drape it?

There's a certain there's there's a certain number of slices of whichever meat it is, or like even like the meatballs of how many scoops of it you put on it?

How many? What's the number of slices for like us honey had.

Well for for a for a foot long? A foot long, I think used to be like you or seven slices not enough slices. But you gotta request double meating, Alex.

You don't even look like a subway. You look more quizzino. I feel like you were like a hot wis noose is better?

Though? Yeah?

Or it was.

I don't know what what The sandwiches aren't going It.

Seem like you would make a hot sandwich.

I mean they are making seven dollars an hour. It's really not. It's it's not there was not. I don't know what. I don't know what y'all think is going on at these restaurants.

But we get one slice of meat per dollar you make an hour. You know.

The thing is is that we are in this age of we're just gluttonous, we want too much exactly flaring too much they're making it too true. We're eating too much and eat too much body positivity.

But what about made your say hungry again? I get it, I.

Get it said. Is that you know we are clogging our arteries. Our blood pressure is high. My blood pressure is good.

But beyond that, though, there's also taste happening too, because people don't be finishing their food like that and you just throw away. We eat barts much. We didn't been to other countries. We are to see how other people in other countries hold food.

Hold on, hold on, This is the real issue. It's the marketing. It's the marketing.

I hold hold, hold on.

When you see a McDonald's burger in an ad, there's a food stylist that injected the bread with air to make it puffy. They hit it with like some type of oil or petroleum to make it shiny, date ice cream. They put stuff on it to make it look away that you can't even eat the thing in the picture, But in the picture it looks so appetite.

That's artistry, that's marketing. Why would they show that's working there.

That's nineteen ain't doing that bullsh He's.

Not putting ice cream on the bread. So is that what you want in the commercial?

How they presented those when we were saying, but that's not the nigga that's seventeen that works. He's not making your sink. He making your sandwich with the with the energy of I need this seven dollars right, I'm trying to get a chrome hearts else. He ain't in this thought and paper. He's shaking that ship out of the goddamn shaker. You don't want, I mean not even I'm not complaining about it. I don't eat it that much.

I haven't had sway in years.

But I'm saying I put that in the dock because I don't know you could sue somebody for something being ugly or not being I think of all the people we could sue that we used to day. It is false advertisement. And that's what and that's the thing about Hinge. Hinge is nothing about people the commercials of themselves.

And then you show up and you're like, ooh, is this the t move version? Like what's up? I want? I want what you put on on paper?

Well, I see that's the thing. Because you were on Hinge as a single woman for I don't know how long were you on hinge for like a month.

Don't do that.

It didn't feel like you were on there for that long. I said, said, this is what y'all doing, ye and then she left. I just said, I can't keep up with all the lies because I'm a truthful woman.

How do you know their lies? Though?

Well?

She said that all the women use filters a lot.

What about the men.

All, Alex, Let's talk about Alex, because I listen out there.

Let's put it.

I did a little stamp, I did a shift.

I didn't. I did a relapse with men.

You know, I spun the block with them. And you know, are the person who just couldn't let it go. You just you could have to let everybody know, Oh yeah, Sidney Wood.

Men, she's back with men.

Sydney with men.

Now she's not a lesbian.

Lesbian who not Sydney Sydney every time we'd be in, Alex, thank you for being an ally.

The Sydney is just an ally now. It's wild. You wouldn't even call me bisexual.

You're like, Oh, she's with men, that's who she That's who she was meant to be with.

It was like she is delivered. That's how we know Alex, did you tell your mom that Sydney was with men?

Yep?

And my mom was like, Praise the Lord, prayer prayers have you. She prayed for you ever.

Since you met you on the prayer list man, ever since you've seen ever since you stand staying her happy birthday at the inter Factory.

She was like, she said, that beautiful game.

I'm gonna pray for her.

Alex, what what was what?

I was trying to figure out what was your thing? Because it's like, I'm not even I'm not even.

What you're looking for? Why were you so invested?

What you mean?

Because you are taking the straight right, you are messing. You are taking the straight man that Alex be hooking up with. Now you competition, nigga, I met you straight. You met me in a transition, just like I.

Met Marie with a white man.

Whoa, that's what we're doing this close thanks, I'm shooting black women.

Whoa? And cut his make off? Somebody cue the TikTok rile.

You need tell right now you met a white man and when's the last time you saw me with one?

Actually? Know what you know? I recuse myself from this com whatever.

Jacket this is you are you're given you name it assassinated.

I mean, I mean.

You're doing you're shooting better than whoever's trying to assassinate Trump period.

Period.

I'm not about to get this podcast.

We're trying to go viral. Yeah, I don't know if it's gonna be with this.

Talking about we were talking.

About messy food, people who lie in photos?

Who else lies or what other things that we put in here that's like false advertising?

Well okay, so well on the profile, nobody wants to be on line looking crazy.

Yeah, don't look crazy, but don't use a Snapchat filter and then go to Instagram and use an Instagram filter and then come come to the date looking like how you look like, babe?

Okay, but if the women on there were like they all had on makeup, yes.

So yeah, but if you wait, you were told that.

You know, I'm saying, I'm saying, there's nothing wrong with that.

But if if the women on Hench have makeup on and those pictures are good, but what about like when they take it off, is that still good? Because I mean makeup is well I sort of a filter.

Hold on, I'm gonna say, if you do if you have makeup on in your pictures, then show up on the date with the makeup still looking like that, because then because then I know that you look how you look in your picture. Hey, but I just want everybody to everybody take a beat.

Hey, you don't come to the with no makeup on on. I matched you because I like you.

Imagine make up. You show up to the date regularly. You know, they got all just like just dragon.

No, no, the Real Housewife reunion makeup and they.

Have the life lighting and everything. They bring the lighting with them one of these.

Yeah.

No.

I honestly, my thing that makes me so annoyed about this conversation is everybody acts like they freaking top model. They got a Ford, they signed the Ford modeling and they're like yeah, because you know you you ugly when they show up, and it's just like, no, this is what a human being looks like.

I don't.

I mean, I guess when I was using the apps, I didn't guess maybe it is a woman thing because I didn't encounter too many.

I mean, well, you're a lot of skinny.

White boys, you're a man.

You want a lot of skinny white boys use filters.

To do what to look plump?

Filters to like make them. I've seen it less men, less less black guys.

Oh yeah, because you know that's not your type.

You y'aught to say, we are not the same. I am delivered. No, we built black.

That deliverance happened recently.

That deliverance been happened. I broke up with that white man during Black History Month and I haven't been back. And that's exactly how Rosa Parks would have wanted it. I said, we throw in chairs I thought I had in the air. I said that's it. I'm done. I'm not doing this with him no more. If he does it. Did I let him bring me an air conditioner for the summer, Sure did, and you deserve. And then I did what block self care?

Messy messy self care? Well, I mean, you know you're no longer on the app.

I'm no longer on the app. Okay, did what I needed to do on there? I got all the information. I studied your research, Yeah I did. I did the finals. I was like, the test is trash. Won't be doing that again.

Are there any lesbian apps?

Yeah? And I have been poppy, but I went on her before. That's her her.

There's another one called Tammy.

Yeah, there's a few.

It's a lesbian name.

I don't know. Tell me with a wiring. I just want to say it doesn't matter what gender or sexuality you are.

Temics.

I just want to let y'all know, it doesn't matter what gender or sexuality you are. People are weird on every app. Everybody's weird. Nobody has it together.

Like when you say weird, what do you mean? What are your expectations when interacting with people on day now?

Well, I will say with the lesbians, there is just too much, like you're telling me too much. It's a lot of of paragraphs. It's it's getting into it too quickly. I feel like it's supposed to be light and chill, like like talking. The thing about talking to dudes on an app is very simple, Yeah, w w.

Ys talking about is I the gym today?

What you're doing? It sounds like it feels like you're talking to a teenager.

So you're never having any sort of like do you do? You send the message first?

On the app? Marine I send, I send a couple of smiley faces. I send the face to all the men.

So what do you expect a message to be from a man on it, like, what's.

Something reacting to something that I've posted?

The man sends you three smiley faces. When you accept that.

Maybe it's a respond with another smiley face.

People, if y'all get the eggplants and peaches.

No, thank you. I don't speak in emoji. That's not my language. So what do you what?

What? What do you like up? Any kind of what kind of what's the best kind of message that you can give?

Yeah, y is what's up?

I'm feeling I'm feeling this photo or I'll like comment on something that they put in a caption or whatever.

I think this is funny. And then from the have you.

Ever had any conversations that were like cool, even though it might not have happened.

Sure, yeah, but then but then after after a day of us talking, I'm not on the apps every day.

I'm I'm not on them at all now.

But like if we're going back and forth and it's like hal, like we got to move.

It off the app now? Yeah?

How many how long you give it before you do that?

It really depends on if I ever come back, Like I might not be on the app for a week at a time, and then I come back and it's like, oh, I missed all these messages.

I don't have my notifications turned on.

Do you think that if doctor Bill, do you think that, seeing as how you aren't on the app actively enough that I guess you reached this point because you deleted them, that you're just not You're not looking to dad anybody right now.

No, not on an app. But I've always felt like I was going to meet somebody in real life. Real life is wow, you see this, you already know that.

I think on apps people are creating energies and connections that are not real.

It's a lot limerens.

They it's the idea of wanting to like that person or wanting to be into that person, and that's it. That is what a lot of people are posting on the idea of somebody, and then as soon as they meet them and get to know them, then they're like, you know what I mean.

That's why I always I've always.

Fallen for people I know a little bit about as soon as I start knowing more, it get I dry up. Listen, I'm matched with this guy and I was looking at his profile. I said, oh, look, he looked like he got a nice house. Okay, he looked like, ah, what's this. He's in a nice kitchen. It looks like he must cook. I was looking at all these things. I said, oh, wow, he's doing great. He seems healthy.

I get there.

The pictures were all a little bit old, right, he was older than what he looked like.

What were y'all talking about in the messages?

I don't remember. I just was he looked like he looked he look rich and fun. He look richard fun.

I agree she's looking for but she said the conversation.

The conversation, I said, well, we'll talk, we'll talk over oysters.

Yet to the date, he's smaller than he looks in the pictures, and he's telling me that he got long COVID.

So I'm like, well, there, he got long COVID. So he can't even.

Really breathe right anymore. If you don't get tested.

We are not promoting that here on that it's over. That is too.

He said he had long he hasn't been able to work out and walk up the stairs.

Like he used to.

I said, damn was president when he was what's he on the tostanic? But then he was like he was like yeah, you know. I said, oh, well, your apartment looks cute or whatever. I said, and he was like.

Yeah, you know, it's a nice little studio. I said, studio.

How do you set the studio to look more like it has? About four or five I want.

To look for him.

Almost he must have taken the picture in the lobby, because it wasn't given studio in the background of the photo. But everything he said, I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

He must have been using the apartment building, you know, conference.

Room, the common area. Income.

Now wait, more importantly, Alex, you are here. We want to get into your mask.

We need to know more about it.

Was nice talking to y'all.

No, Alex, I feel like you say a lot of polarizing things. I feel like you you got a lot of opinions. You got a weird way of moving, and it's time to talk about it. Weird way of moving, Yeah, way of moving, Yes, absolutely, Alex.

Remember I'm tired. I'm tired of being gay. Everybody could be gay just to act. It's just that's that's not how you love being gay.

I do tell jokes for a living.

On a scale of winter ten, how much you like being gay? Yes, that's a great question. Marie, good job almost what's this face for? I thought you said it was a bit how much on a scover? I once to done? How much you like being gay?

Who said I was gay?

You are gay? Are you a homosexual? Listen, I'm sick you there's so you're there's no number, then.

There's no number. Okay, I feel nothing about it.

You feel nothing.

That's how it should be.

Have you talked to a therapist about No, That's how it should be.

Like, no straight person is accident.

Because traders just like straight at trash.

Yeah, but you still do it.

Well because you know, not all dickish.

Some of it is good.

Sure, yeah, but I'm like, it's not some things I don't. I don't. I can't look at it as it's like I love it or hate it this much.

It's just who you are. It's just what you do.

It's it's what I do. It's not who I am.

You are who are Yeah.

Well, when people say Alex English, they be like, yeah, you know Alex the comedian, the gay one.

Alex.

I don't love that.

They said gay Chappelle. That's what I heard on the streets. Why why do you love that?

You stay stay saying I'm good.

Yeah, but he hasn't been good in a little while.

Yeah, I mean you know what you mean. You have a whole joke about it.

I heard a set.

I heard a set not too long ago, and I was like, oh, well, he kind of back to.

You heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen people are people are gonna hate it.

But I laughed at it well, and I thout.

It when he when he uh when he was hosting whichever season I was.

I was there.

Yeah. I went to the stand on the Monday of the week of the show to watch him run his malogue. And when he came down, I was talking to him because earlier I had seen him when we were doing like our pitch meeting with him. No but but but he looked he looked at me down before he got on stage, and I was like, oh, I just wanted to tell you. I know that when I was pitching my idea to you earlier today, I know that in your head you were calling me all types of gay.

Oh.

And then he got on stage. It was like, forgive me everyone for being late. I was busy having a conversation off stage with my gay colleague for the week. Oh yeah, that's an honor, that's hon your brand.

Yea, it's mess it is.

But I think that sometimes people get caught up in the attention they get from being messy and saying like off brand things that sometimes I don't even know who you are anymore because now you're so I don't. Before I felt like I kind of knew who somebody like Chappelle was, but now it's like, I think he's so caught up in the he's going to be the opposite of whatever.

Whatever.

Oh that's all, that's what it is.

He's old and he's rich, and he's a man, and he's out of touch. And I think that we live in a time where people just feel like, you want to know what I'm thinking because I'm famous, and it's like, no, it's regular people who are not famous, and they feel like people want to know what.

They got going on, like and I'm tired of that.

Like you sent there's a there was a family on TikTok that went viral. There's resilient jinking, six of them. What resilient?

Yeah, resilient jinkins her name is resilience, Resilient Jinkins, that's the that's the name of.

Black people, resilient.

A white lady, it's a biracial Jenkins is the black.

Yes, that sound like black daddy, white mama.

Anyway, it's a family of six soon to be seven, living in a studio in a one bedroom apartment.

And this is where the kids got to sleep in the in.

The kitchen and the living room, and they're showing, they're vlogging.

Do you do not have money?

They don't have no sense how you live in a one bedroom and you guys, well no, it's seven people total.

So oh and she's got I think she has another get on the way.

Yes, she's pregnant. She's pregnant soon to be seven, soon to be seven.

Sounds like they need to be sleeping in the kitchen and the kids sleeping.

You go into the bedroom.

They got the sex lights and then they got a p S five, They got a brand new TV. But the kids need to be in the bedroom because you got too much privacy.

I don't need no more.

Then the kitchen. Oh like that one song?

Anyway, Yo, The album is coming out soon by Yeah. But they're they're vogging.

They're this the mother is putting everything out and it's like what happened to like shame and secrecy?

So are they making money off TikTok?

Now, that's what I think is the thing, trying to make money off of TikTok?

She got a wig line coming out, Like what money is she making? People are dragged.

Look, she doesn't get in costco hair. She doesn't look like Alabama Parker at all. It's not giving that. It's very it's very natural. She's in her natural And.

So they got five kids and they got two cats.

You got the nerve you have two cats in this one bedroom apartment and you got all these kids sleeping on the floor.

Why are the cats here?

It's not like they need some condoms. It sounds like they need to switch from the bedroom into the living room. And it sounds like he need to just get off her for it.

The kids are the kids, like, well, that's what I was wondering taking care of because I mean I'm just like, well, you know, as crazy as that housing situation is, I mean, if they're taking care of the kids and kids going to school and.

Listen, we're not talking about Cardi being offset like offset got mad kids.

Cardi has three with him.

But that was a very rich people Exactly, these are not very rich people. That was the conversation on the on the TikTok was having. It's like, oh, you guys hate how poor people live. Yeah, we don't want to know. We don't want anybody living like that. That's He's like, oh you can't. It's a it's the idea that people are supposed to live a certain way if you're I

And but do you think that trauma is coming from in this scenario where they just all live in this one badroomhouse.

Starting trauma is coming from the in the summertime.

But maybe maybe there's perspective here where it's like I'd rather be sleeping in the kitchen then on the street.

Yeah, but if you had less kids, you have more. Because she was talking about resources.

And they obeying God's orders, she was in multiply.

They ignoring everybody else. Everybody in the comments.

This is a heterosexual family, a heterosexual couple.

Everyone on the comments is like, get off.

Is she complaining?

No, she's I don't know what the what the money situation is there, but sometimes you know, you know, the older kids is watching the younger kids, and you know every time she come out of that bedroom with a little pregnancy stick, the kids is probably.

Like yeah, but you know it's crazy though, because the way I think people it's perspective. It's like if you grew up in a house when you had your own room, or you share the room, whatever.

You see that as the way you're supposed to live.

But this and I think that's that's the majority of people probably, But in this scenario, if I mean the kids, don't say if the kids are being abused, that they're being neglected any sort of way, Like.

I mean, isn't there a little is it? Though?

Can you really give all of your attention to like the like, is everybody getting the right amount of attention?

If you got five kids running around?

Yeah, they're not running around, it's not that much space. They all in the same living room.

Yeah sure, But then but I mean this is like, you know, five kids is you know a lot to us to us in this moment, but these kids is.

A lot period everywhere, but period but right exactly.

We're saying that now though, but like back in the day, how many families you heard where they had like they have fun six seven.

I'm not listening to anything, but I'm.

Saying though, like this isn't like a new thing like people having more than one kid, you know, but so it's and a lot of those stories aren't necessarily Oh, I grew up with a bunch of siblings and it was hell. I think like like a fine example, they grew up with like thirteen siblings.

In how many bedrooms did they have?

Well, I'm not That's what I'm saying is regardless of this, the living situation doesn't necessarily always equate to how the family is, how the kids are being treated.

I think I think these are people who we've view.

We've viewed them as making poor decisions, but if they're finding a way to take care of their children and it's not really as messy.

My issue is like, why are you putting the kids on the internet that maybe.

They don't want we can talk about that, they don't want to be on.

Maybe they don't want to agree they're living you know, and a lot of people who are commenting like, hey, I grew up like this and I was embarrassed that people do.

But that's also projection because you're embarrassed by however you may have came up and this just might be normal to them.

It's not normal. I mean, listen to what I'm saying. No, this is what I'm gonna say. It's This is what I'm gonna say, is in some places it's illegal to have that many.

People in a one bedroom apartment where they.

Are, it's absolutely a firehouse.

Also, I gotta fold the kitchen table up so you can lay that. As a mother, I'm tired. Where is this baby gonna when this baby comes?

Yeah, no one's getting any sleep because that's how close we sleeping together and the baby going. Everybody up, you know, the baby gone. You know, they they've been drinking Coca cola.

But few kids I'm going in this environment, they probably see it as normal. They probably don't view it as like traumatic for them. I mean, I'm sure as they get older, but like if these are like these kids are like in like single digits and shape, they're they're just viewing it as like this is my house.

Now live. I live on my parents and we sleep in the living room slash kitchen.

Yeah, I say, I said, I hear what you're saying. But I think that they got it. The parents got to get out of that bedroom.

I mean, absolutely, get get something something.

There needs to be more mattresses, less bodies on the floor, less the bodies hit the floor, less air mattresses and whatnot.

Get the kids some space.

Also, what's mess I don't want to know everybody's business.

I'm tired. I have my own stuff going on.

But you know what that is though, Like it's TikTok. You can monetize anything. This is this is where we are now in the world too. It's like everybody, but it's reality Television's fault.

Everybody wants to be famous for being famous. It's exhausting. We have to move on.

We got a segment called messy or just living, So you will tell us. We'll throw something out and you'll let us know if that's mess or it's just a part of life. We don't have to have that much judgment against it. Okay, So is it messy or just living? Kicking my little sister out because she parties too much, she's eighteen, she comes home too late, she's loud, and.

She brings home randoms.

So they live together, and the sister who's who just turned eighteen, is like living my life like it's gold, then living them.

I'm sure the sister that's eighteen, it's not singing.

On Friday, that's more.

So.

The sister is like when the older sister is like twenty two, and she ended up having her little sister move in with her because you know, she just moves out of her parents' house.

Do you think it's now once she got to move back to her parents house.

I think the eighteen year old is messy, but also just living.

Why is that? We were.

Yeah, but you know, kicking her out probably is the right thing to do, just so it puts the pressure on her chears get our ship together. She ain't gonna learn it any other way obviously. Well, also, have you said something to her?

Oh yeah, every time it's like hey girls, yeah, you bringing in all these random people, not cleaning up as long as it's like warm, loud, it's a lot you lay you loud. I gotta go to work in the morning. Works about that is why are you bringing people to my house that you don't know you but also even know these people.

It's not really your house, baby, you're here temp. You're a temp.

You don't fully live, you don't really get mail here anyway. So why are you bringing all these people?

Who are these men that like don't have that. They don't have a place to go that you can go to.

They never have a place, Honey, I can't host come out?

Okay, messy or just living? So you said that's the sister is living but the other sisters.

Because are we asking is the decision to kick her out? Message?

Yes, oh no, that's not messy. That she's just living. She's trying to live.

She's trying to live without her sister.

She's just trying to live.

Messing up her place.

Listen, living with his sisters is hard. I'm saying that that's somebody who lived with my sister and she also had to go.

Period, but it was different. I was showing up late and she was going to bed early because she had to be up early, so you come home.

No, she was living with me, so I would come home late after her show, happy, feeling good, and she'd be like I was sleeping and it's like this house, I can't be loud here. Messy or just living stops giving a coworker a ride to work.

So he got fired.

But whenever he would get a ride, we would he would leave trash in the car and never clean up after himself. Is that messy or just living?

Wait? He got fired for not giving the coworker.

No, no, no.

The co worker got fired because he was having a hard time getting to work to work. So this, you know, and and this person was like a beloved coworker, Like everybody loved this guy.

So it's like, sounds like I should have given him a run. Everybody should give him a ride. Right.

It was on this one friend to make sure that he was getting there. And then he was like, oh, you know what, I'm just gonna let him, let the trash pile up, and see if he realized in the car yeah, that.

He was being you know, nasty.

He didn't, and then he never realized, and so the guy was like, you can't get a rise for me, no more, babe. And then he had too many absences at work and so he got fired.

How old is this these people? I saw the agies, but then.

I heard so far these stories are like the person who's making the decision to do something is just trying to live, and the other person. It can be it can be split between like who's doing what to Like it's like, yeah, I mean homeboys obviously nasty, probably lives bad and doesn't.

He probably live in a one bedroom with seven peoples. As a person who I am a messy person and somewhat of a hoarder, I understand if somebody has to, you know, let me know. Ay, girl, I can't be around this. This is too chaotic for me. You know, I don't put things away. I will have a rapper and fall out my purse. Like sometimes you have to remind them. But then also the ADHD you're all over the place, your your brain is so clogged that it's hard to you know, pick up after yourself and be it.

But also the person giving the rise is ridiculous kind of a little bit in this too, because it's like, why would you just let trash pile.

Up in your corns?

Like I'm just to see.

I thought you're trying to prove a point, but it's like I'm not to.

See if they would notice.

But I just say something, Well.

I mean they did say something. I had a roommate one time. She would let stuff sit in the sink for days and one day I was like, well, let me see how long this is going to go for it. It was like it was like eight days.

You should have did like my mama used to do and put the dishes in my bed room.

That's what my mom said.

I said, take My mom said take the dishes bed, and I said, I'm not doing that. So my mom said, well, take them all out and put them right on the and I did that, and I heard her come in and she washed all the dishes that night, but I wasn't going to put them in her bed. I think that I think it's messy to just have this uh, non vulnerable communication. It's like we're all adults. Tell somebody how you feel. If they don't get it, they got to.

Going you how I feel.

Also, you putting cups in the sink and pants that I need to use to cook with, and when you need to use them, you'll watch that one thing and then put it back on the top of the pile, like, babe, you know, you got to wash this pile.

Of crap that feels like depression.

Person might have been going well, you know.

What, I'm glad to no longer have a roommate now when stuff is in the sink.

But like, who put this hair i apartment?

Yeah? Who?

This is crazy?

Who raised me? I know?

Okay, so we got some messages before we in this this beautiful messy episode. Yeah, let's read a final message for the for the kids. Should I work with my friend. My friend and I work in similar fields, and we got pitched to do a job together. As we're prepping for the job, I just noticed how much they're sabotaging the work, whether they want to undersell our capabilities, won't agree on raids, etc. I've noticed a pattern on jobs

What's too odds?

Oh, this is good because we all work with friends. Alex, are you speechless?

I think the best way is to address address it. Yeah, there's no other method I can think of address it. And if y'all agree on, you know a way to fix whatever the problem is. If y'all don't, then just agree that y'all can't do business together, but you can still be friends.

Well, that's the thing. I think that everyone needs to know this and moving forward, not us. But it's like, you can't work with everybody that's your friend.

You just can't.

You could You guys can both be talented and then come together and somebody has too many flaws that you just want you guys won you know, rise to the top. And that's okay. You could still love them, but there's no sense in getting to business and then things flop because y'all don't mesh well.

And also, hey, okay to cut them off as a friend too.

What would you do this, Marie?

Would you do that if you phoneled a really big bag for us, like a million dollar bag, you know, like if they were like, you guys want to millions dollars, You guys want to host the Emmys, and you were like, I don't want.

I don't know, I don't think so, but maybe I think.

Our relationship is definitely worth more than a million dollars, more.

Than one hundred thousand dollars, but a million, I.

Mean, but what under like I'm I'm listen, I'm saying this as you know, someone who went.

Through working with their friends, working.

With someone I thought was a friend. But we not even booby. But we ain't got no time to back down, Alex.

Now you're hitting us at the end, We're gonna do. We're gonna have a part due well. Thank you Alex English for being here.

We love you obviously you're where.

Can people see your missy mvp of on this podcast?

Come out to listen our gosh time for Thanksgiving if you if you live in Chicago, look at me plugging a show in January.

Yeah, people gonna be listening to this in January.

I'm gonna be at Zany's in Chicago January second through I think the fourth. That was the whole weekend. No, it's Friday and Saturday. Uh, Zany Chicago. You can get tickets.

Yeah, see me, it's out. You deserve Alex.

What prayers up?

You will be good and you can if you have peacock you can see me on New York after dark.

I have a set on there and yeah, and.

I love this.

We love you, Thank you so much God before we go, give us one more? Are ooh you listening to this?

What? Oh ooh? You sounds so tired and all that messy notes. Everybody, Thank you.

So much, love you down Bye. Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Foston is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcasts. Created and hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Foston. Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Hans Sonny, super produced by Becca Ramos, Edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries.

If you would like your messages read on air, please email us at Mess Thepodcast at gmail dot com, or call for your messages to be played at seven six three two eight zero six five eight eight