Naomi Campbell Edges

Forever.

Oh hello, howdy, howdy friends.

I've got no horses in the merge.

You guys can't see, but we're wearing pretty much the same outfit today.

Were wearing denim tuxedos, denimon dinims, denims on denims.

You look like Mexican cowboys or Canadian something else.

Canadian thoughts, Canadian thoughts. That's where we are. Row Dio drives yay.

You know, we hang out a lot, but there's like rare occasions that we have similar outfits.

I don't know when we, uh, we hosted a show together that was monthly, and we would show up and have on similar stuff.

Often, I like, says you also doing this. Both of us got overall, Oh my god.

We both show up wearing plaid. Or we'd both show up wearing the same color.

Shorts, shorts with crop tops.

Right, or we both have on a blazer like this. You know, this is what happens when you're cute.

Factual, that's a fact. These are facts. A solo episode week, what's going on? Friend? You got your hair done?

I hate it. It's not I mean, it's false. She always does a great job. It's just I try to do something different. I tried to get a different color on the top, like at first, I want an on break. First of all, I came in there chaotic, like I didn't know what the sound, and I didn't have an example of what I wanted her to do.

You just a photo, You just it's wrong. As a black woman.

You got to rip the photo out of a magazine, or you gotta find a Google image or have the screenshot of the Instagram that you're talking about.

You have to give them something to look at while they're doing your hair. And I gave her pretty much nothing. And at first I was like, Oh, this color is gonna look great, and then I realized that I want something drastic.

But I'm pretty much okay with being the same.

Like I've had the same hair hairstyle. I had the same hairstyle for ten years. And then eventually you guys were so tired of my bang oh am I wig okay?

Can we can we just say that when I met Sidney, she would never not have her forehead covered. She was like, my forehead is too big. I can't not have bangs. She she had straight across bangs across her forehead. I had Nicki Minaj. Yeah, China Galla. She had a like it was bumped. It wasn't like a flat, and it wasn't like too short like remember when Beyonce had eyebrows.

When jay Z cheated on her. Sorry I'm sorry, Sorry, I'm sorry. Yeah, definitely.

So then we made fun of Sidney until she changed her hairstyle, right, is that what happened.

That's what happened, you guys. You and Adrian pressured me to like, come on, girl, you ain't tired. And even my hairstylist at the time, she's like, I'm so bored doing this and I was like, okay, well you guys are bored, and I was like, I thought it was good.

It went with everything. It was good. But it's good to switch it up sometimes, you know what I mean.

Hit us with a middle part, something drastic, along, weave down to your knees, maybe like a fifty seven inch you know something, keep us on our toes. It could still all be the same color, but you take risks and it's I have no hair now.

Yeah, scalp is freezing and it's wonderful. But I feel like I'm not that person like I want to. I wish I could be that person. And sometimes I look at my Instagram page and I'm like, am I this boring?

Am I talking about? Am I? I have the same face and hair and everything.

It's like, oh, so you couldn't do the DMX challenge.

Post one? What was the DMX challenge?

You know that song with him and Cisco and he's saying all the women's names.

Yeah, it's like it.

Was Keisha, Tisha, Marie Sydney about three and and it's so you're supposed to post a photo of you with a different hairstyle for every name that he says to the song. That's what the DMX challenge is. Uh, as well, you didn't do it because you had ten years of the same bangs. I was the same, Yes, but you don't have to change the style, the color. You could change the style. I mean you were hitting us with a year of wigs we have.

We could do a year in review of wigs. I hated every single last one.

And because I went to the beauty supply store and I just I didn't have the budget or I did and I just wasn't budgeting correctly and I would have like the second second shelf wigs on which were not the first shelf.

So not well not well wig also not a top.

Shelf, so it was in the middle, so it's just like accessible. So it's just like, oh, I'll go to a party and it's like four or five of the seven bitches with the same wig on the same goddamn bar.

My god, is that you were in sensation? No we ring Tanya.

Okay, that's an old Tanya. That's the twenty eighteen where the ends were so ravel that you cut them yourself, and you're like, no, it's a tyrant.

It's like, that's a Tanya with a little cut up.

That's a jagged edged Tanya. Okay, Tanya, I can tell yes, Okay. But then so you stopped doing the wigs, and then you've been hitting us with these these Pocahonta's braids for a moment.

But they're look good, they look good, and they just work with me.

And I'm like super lazy, and I don't have time to be switching shit up every single week. And now I'm right now I'm just miserable because it's like I'm realizing I don't like change.

I need change, and I don't like it.

And my hair is a reflection of who I am as a person.

That's so crazy because I'm all about change and on the cusp of so many changes in my life right now, and I legit chopped on my hair off, so like we are in two completely different places right now, like legit opposite places right now.

Fascinating.

Yeah, this is deep, it's awful. It's not awful, though. Your hair looks good.

I think.

So. You said you wanted something on Brad but you didn't come with Ibray hair.

Was the Ombre hair? I didn't.

I didn't like what they had at the beauty supply store. I just waited too long.

Yeah, because ombre hair the good stuff you got to order online beforehand.

Yep, that's and I didn't know that. I didn't realize that. And because I'm not a hair person. There's some people who are just they live for it. They researched, they got it. Like I feel like you're that type of YouTube hy you got it together.

I cannot because when I decide I want to change my hair, I researched excessively. Like I'm on Pinterest boards, I'm I'm looking at lipstick alley dot com to see what they think.

I'm googling things.

I'm putting hashtags into Instagram because I need to know if I can do it myself, and if I can't, how much it's gonna cost. So I cause I can't. Like my hair has always been such.

A statement for the last couple of years that it was like.

It was almost consuming me too much at times, like trying to figure out how to change it and how to do something different to it and how to still make it look big and how do it still make it look natural and blah blah blah blah blah, And it was like I was tired of having hair, and I decided I wanted to cut it, and everyone.

Told me not to cut it. And my mother still hates it.

She saw it on Monday for the first time and she was like, yuck, And my mother needs to chop her hair off, but she she'd rather hold on to them strands.

Then that's what we do.

That's the title of the fucking episode, holding on to the Strands, because it's just like I I want to evolve as a person, but at the same Edges Gone, Edges, Snatched, Edges, Deceit.

Naomi Campbell Edges.

That's the name of the Naomi Edges camble Edges. Yeah, that's what it is. That's what's going on, and so.

The change is good.

But if you're not ready for it, you could there's different types of things that you can change.

You know.

I think your hair looks nice. I think that the braids look good. I think the color is fine. If you don't like it, I still would say give it a week.

I don't have time.

I don't have time because you know, I'm going to that thing where I have to be on the red carpet and I have to look fucking fantastic.

Okay, well, then that means you need to dig it out. I'm taking it. I'm getting it done on Thursday.

But it's because you're gonna watch those videos later and be mad.

You're furious. Oh, I don't play those games.

I need to be one thousand percent comfortable because sometimes I'll say it. I don't mind putting it on record, but sometimes, you know, my work is a little thrown together.

So but if I look impeccable.

Impeccable, impeccably dress, you were.

Like, I can't really tell what she's saying because she's fucking stunning.

You know what?

That is also a tactic of mine.

When it comes to comedy, and it's so sad, but it's just like it's the truth of mine.

No, no, it's but it's not said because my logic when I do it is well, even if they don't think I'm funny, they don't think I look fantastic, So you're not gonna be able to call me ugly, but you might not laugh at anything.

That I say.

Yeah, but when I put when there was a video of me that like, I did a set and they like, no one called me ugly, but also no one called me funny. I was just waiting for an ugly I was like, somebody make fun of me. Nothing, just like, wow, women are funny, Oh this is garbage.

No people, some people.

Thought I was funny, but for the most part, I was like, oh these comments her.

But nobody but nobody called you ugly friend.

Yeah, And truthfully, that's what they see when you walk down the street, friend, or when you jump from your uber to the door, because they can't tell how funny you are. You are not when you're walking down the street, but they can see how good you look and that is a compliment.

Yeah, but this this is my job.

My job is to be funny, and it's my passion to make people that I don't know fucking laugh even when they're having a bad day.

So, yeah, do you think that in the moments when you're not funny, you're still interesting? Oh?

I'm very interesting.

I'm somebody that you're like, oh, I have a friend like that, or or I would like to be her friend, or I would get to know her more, or we can hang out like I'm one of those people that's like, yes, she needs to be at the party, she's on the.

List right right.

But I'm saying because for me as a as a viewer and as a performer of comedy, I feel like, even if people aren't laughing at you, if they're still interesting in what you're interested in what you're saying, you're still doing your job. If they're listening because they're like, well, what's you about to say after this? Even if they're not ha and the room is not you know, erupting in laughter, if they're still interested in you, you're still doing your job.

Listeners. Is that true? Facts? Listeners, and they.

Lose interest in you, that means you failed. It's hard, But when it's good, it's good. And if you're not happy with what your hair looks like, change it now, because when you get on camera and you're sitting and you're talking to people and you're gonna be thinking about you just tig it out.

Yeah it feels bad. And Amina does a fantastic job. This was not even on her.

This was me.

I changed what it was last minute and she I got in the chair and she gave She definitely gave me that face.

Like a bitch. You knew you was getting your fucking hair done for weeks.

You didn't realize what you But I looked at pictures of me and I was like, damn, I'm so tired of looking at my face. I'm so fucking boring. I have the same hairstyle all the time. It's either straight down or a fucking ponytail.

It's a mirror. And so that you're boring, you need to chill, I know. Anxiety and complaining about your Instagram's too, that's mess.

She's a mess to be getting legit ninety thousand likes and she's like, my Instagram is so boring?

Who am I? What is this? You are?

You are a person that needs to hush because your photos are fantastic and your face is fine, So like, what is like, what's the what's the problem.

I think it's an internalized thing.

It's a thing where it's even if whatever I put whatever pictures of I think that I'm essentially like what am I offering right now?

I'm going through it.

I'm like, I'm writing this new solo show and I'm just trying to figure out, Oh, what's funny? What is this all about? And it's it's about me being an open book. Like I've been an open book since most people have met me. They're like, I'm immediately just having like Diary of the mouth telling all my business.

Diarrhea of the mouth or did you say diary of the mouth, No, diarrhea of the mouth.

Okay, But you're also diary works because you'd be telling people all of your business, yeah, which we like. I mean, it makes us trust you, but also it makes us think she crazy, but I might be able to use her for something later. I might need to run up on somebody next week. I'm gonna keep this crazy girl close. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, But people like that about you. So your your new solo show is about you being an open book.

Yeah.

So you're gonna be revealing some secrets that you haven't shared with anybody yet.

Uh No, just going into depth about like like how I grew up just I guess, not demons, just just things that I'm like, Oh, I should talk about this more because I don't just talking about how like I didn't grow up with my mother, and I grew up with three senior citizens, and I think growing up with them has has put me in a place that I am now with like, oh, I feel like they held back a lot and they never told people how they felt or like what they were going through, and that's

I mean, that's kind of refreshing. I think that most of us are the opposite of that. Right, you're a great critic, Okay, she even reading. Also, this is a podcast. This is refreshing because I feel like a lot of people hide themselves, hide them true selves from other people because they don't want you to see how crazy and messy and wild and reckless they are. They want you to like them, so they so they pretend they don't talk.

You're gonna get. Yeah, and it's a gifting. It's a gift and a curse.

I mean yeah, because it's kind of crazy.

It's a little bit wild to just be so open.

Have you ever met somebody who like hugged you and you didn't know them like they hugged you when they introduced.

Themselves to that's me. I am that person. It's like, I don't I don't know you. I don't need your chest touching my chest.

I don't need our faces that close, Like I don't know what your hygiene is.

That's how people know that I'm looney. I give hugs immediately. Don't give me their hand. I'm like, no, no, I'm a hugging person. She's lapping people's hands out of the way. It's wild.

Yeah, and I will legit.

I'm starting to like it's like a chatcha. It's like a dance because I'm starting to back up when people lean in to hug me now, because it's like, well, I don't really, you're not about to me to me, to me with your coals clothes on, don't touch your synthetic fibers to my cotton, your poor body againto my broke body. And yeah, but when me and City meet people together, if she talks to them first, she'll hug them, and then they'll expect me to hug them too.

No, but if anybody knows our relationship, they're like, Sydney is the one that hugs me, is the one that's going.

Yeah, but it's like new.

It's like new people, like people who don't like not necessarily comics that we like, we grew up with and we've been working with for a while, but like new people will come meet us and they'll City will hug them, and then I have to hug them too, even though I don't really want to.

Yeah, and I need to work on that too. It's just like, bitch, you should hold back. Why are you giving everybody you it's draining?

Well, there are things that you should keep for yourself, yes, obviously for your sanity and stuff, but like you can be open. People I think do like that and they respond to it. That's why you got so many freaking friends because people like how open you are. Otherwise they wouldn't, you wouldn't have any friends. You have so many people that you're like, Oh, I spoke to so and so today, I called so and so today, I FaceTime such and such, And I'm like.

When do you have time to talk to all of these people on the phone?

Says I have time when I'm fucking avoiding the things that I need to be doing.

Wow, procrastination is a good friendship tool.

If it wasn't for procrastination, who knows you haven't you haven't e got friends?

You'd be a John Legend friend.

Me.

You definitely. Yeah.

Well, so I'm just I'm going through a crisis right now and it's just it sounds silly and you know, just minimal, but in my head it's it's literally like me falling down a flight of stairs, No, like several flights upstairs.

Oh like the stairs from Wayside High. Yeah, I remember that book story is.

From Oh yes, I don't know why that popped into my head, but that uh yeah.

But you're saying that it's minimal, but is that what you said? You said it's small?

It's not small.

Everything that happens to us is huge, is a big deal to us, know what, everyone else is going through their own big deal crisis as well. Yeah, like, what's you worried about them for? It's big, it's a big deal. You're working on some stuff, thinking about some stuff.

Thinking is hard. I'm ready for my brain to turn off. I mean I sound like deaths is.

Yeah, it does. It's so weird. It's like I want to be alive. But also like, I'm not working this week, and.

You've been home off for like two days, two days, and already you're going this cracking nuts.

I'm like, I need structure.

I need to get up and know that I'm going somewhere that I have a purpose, even if i'm bullshit network just being there makes me fucking feel stable and I need that. So I'm just two days and I'm already like, Okay, what am I doing? Okay, I'm not doing anything. Oh I have nothing going on. Oh I'm a bum. Oh okay, I'm not making any money, which I'm still getting paid this week, which is like okay.

What oh wow. I need to get a job so I can go on vacation now. I you paid for a week.

But Sydney, that's wild because this job is not going to last forever.

I know.

So now you know how you feel.

When you're not working, and I think that should be motivating you to figure out what your next thing is gonna be. Yeah, okay, make some monties, gather some coins.

Because it's so crazy.

Because we've we've all we were with you when you started that job because you were complaining about it on the podcast, and now it's like, well, I need to get back to work.

Shout out to Comedy Central. I love y'all.

I'm one of those people that we in a relationship I can't fucking stand.

But I truly thank you. I want to give you a big hug when I.

Thank you for being when I get back to work on whatever day it is.

Tuesday, do do Do Do Do do Do. Yeah, I totally want that.

And it's you know, it's just you need a purpose and you need to feel like you're doing something.

And uh, if you could be doing anything in the world for money, what would that be.

That's what I've been thinking about thinking.

I've been thinking so hard that it's just like, damn, I go crazy when I'm not doing anything, but I am best at doing absolutely nothing, truthfully, same, laying in my bed, just like, we'll see what We'll see what happens. I'll check my email.

We'll figure it out. Something will something will come. I love I love a We'll figure it out from the heart. Yeah, right. Have you ever heard somebody say.

It and know that they meant it like, I'll figure it out like that is the most genous aquaf raise in the English.

Yeah, but that's the problem. Like I did the you know, we'll figure it out. When I went to Abiza and then we were displaced, I'm on the side of the road throwing up.

We had no money.

It was just but that wasn't a bees baby. You are poor amongst the richest people in.

The world, which is sadder. Friends, which is fun.

You did figure it out because you made it back to New York and there's no throw up in your braids right now, right.

But that's why we love New York because we feel like we're amongst people who are also doing bad.

Oh, these people doing worse than you.

Yes, but that's why New York feels so safe, because it's like, well, if I just opened my eyes a little bit wider. There's somebody who phone just fell into tracks, and the bitch went in the tracks and almost got hit by a train.

Yes, come on, phone suicide. It's a new phone. Okay, kill yourself exactly.

So I mean, hmm, I'm just trying to figure out what's like. What's more, I watched Dave Chappelle's special on Netflix and was truly blown away by you know, that's the point of I already know that I got everybody in the palm of my hands, and I'm literally just gonna push it to the limit. I'm not gonna do shit for you to like me. I'm doing stuff that I truly believe. It's funny to me. Well, and it's great. That's what you can do when you're Dave Chappelle.

You know, when you're rich and you're a black man, and you've people have said the worst thing they could possibly say about you already, and you're just doing stuff for the love of doing stuff, you know what I mean.

But besides that, I mean, remember when he walked away from fifty million.

Dollars and people said he was insane.

Yeah, So it's just I love seeing the special knowing how far he's come to get to where he is right now.

Okay, well I have to see it because I've heard good things. Yeah, I mean it's problematic. Well we love a problematic place. It is your piece, it's arch.

It's definitely that uncle that's at the end of the Thanksgiving table saying everything.

Oh what is like? They're like, did he drink brown liquor? Oh my god, I gonna see Oh my goodness. Yeah, problematic, but it's great every bit. I was like, he's such a good storyteller. He's like, he's such a in his own right, just beyond a genius.

He's to beance comedy.

Yeah, yeah, I would say that, except he doesn't dress as well as she does.

When he doesn't have to, it's comedy. You know. I think I'm about to let myself go. I wore sneakers for two weeks straight on stage, and is letting yourself go. I was like, I might have to do that.

That's like, what did you just consider sneakers like stretch pants? Yeah, when you put some, when you perform in some sweatpants, then you let yourself go.

But some sneakers, I feel, baby, it's comedy. It's casual. That's what we're doing.

Wow.

Did you guys hear that? Yeah? I did. It went from ear to ears casual and it went, Oh really, that's the power that you have, casual.

I mean, look at godfriend, your hair is growing in. Cute, it is growing in, isn't it crazy?

Wow?

So cute?

Yeah, it's working. I just wanted to grow more.

I feel like like it's gonna take me longer than I thought, you know, to be able to diet blonde.

I don't think so. I think I like think two weeks. Yeah.

Yeah, I feel like you got actually want to platinum blonde or like white, like white blonde.

Wow, mm hmm. I'm not sure how that would look.

We don't know, No one cares. She could just die my back right.

If it's white, then we'll just put some color on the white, right, literally sharp be it in.

There's this girl on Instagram that I'm truly in love with, and I mean she is your She is basically your hair enspo because she had a really short haircut then she went bald.

She's dyed it every color. I mean, she's got the face right.

I feel like this is the length because I've never dyed my actual hair.

Ever, I've never dyed it.

I've never colored it because I'm like, well, you know, I don't want it to fall out. I don't want to because it was too much. But now it's like it's going. If it falls out, then I'm just back to where I.

Was, which is literally to so freeing. You're like living everybody's dreams right now. And you're just lucky that you have a good head and you have a good face, and it's just you're blessed.

You have a great hairline. It's actually pretty rude, you know, to have a good hairline. Yeah, nah, my hairline is not a good friend.

It's I'm massaged it today with some Haitian castor oil, you know, so that it can freaking back up.

Andrew, do you know what edges are?

No?

You guys always talk about edges, and I'm not really sure that is.

All of this. Well, I'm lacking them.

And Marie, why are you lacking them?

Just like she been doing these tight ass braids.

It's life years, Okay, It's it's simple. It's the patriarchy. It's taken out racism.

The snatched ridges.

Your edges are still intact? Well?

Mine are?

You know?

We're trying to fill them back in.

Okay, they were sparse, but now they're growing in because she shaved her.

Right here, got it? Okay?

Interesting, I mean, your hairline looks healthy.

You know. I was thinking about like completely cutting off all my hair for like the past like two years.

I don't know, I really why.

I feel like my face is my head is like way too round though that I would look like a like a basketball Literally, you do have.

A round face.

Yeah, so I think it would be weird. It would be weird. But I feel like, also the same thing. I keep on going back to the barber and it's just like the same thing. He knows me now, He's like, okay, we know what you're doing.

So okay, so but if but I feel like for you, if you shave, if you buzz it short, it'll still grow back properly.

Oh yeah absolutely. But I'm like, sometimes when you look and the like, when you're having like an episode and looking at your hair, you want to get the rid of that first, you know.

Yeah, that's like that's what happened to Angela Bassett in Waiting to Exhale. Yeah, she had beautiful hair and she was like, cut it all off, and Loretta Devine was like nah, and then she picked up the scissors and she threatened to do it herself and she was like sit in the damn chair until the Bassett whatever her name was. But yeah, I mean, I feel like, start with your hair. Sidney switches up.

She ain't like it. She gonna change it again, and I.

Need to switch something up. But yeah, maybe the hair is the good end there, honestly, But you do have a round face. I know it's too round. You're gonna look like a little baby, I know, truly, But like that's cool, right, that's cool. A lot of guys are.

Yeah, we know, we know the pedophilia that's been going on. It's rapid.

Kevin's space, it's weird. Yeah.

So, Sydney, you're getting ready to go to LA. Let's talk about that. Where you staying, who you staying with? How long you're gonna be there? Will you be.

Back just for a couple of days. I'll be at the Beverly Hills SLS baby.

SLS very very nice, okay, bus service, very.

Gorgeous, gorgeous.

I will be going live in the room just so people know it's there. I mean, it's this episode is going to go out and I'm already going to be there.

But yes, yes, yes, yes, but Sidney Will have had gone live and you missed it. If you're listening to this and you didn't see it, you missed it.

Yes, you saved the life stories though, right.

You can save them for like twenty four hours they live, right?

Yes?

I don't know why people do that.

It's weird.

Yeah, like how lit was your life that you got to save it?

So the people who weren't here, the people who are at work can now see the lives and it's like, how many.

People were following you on this live anyway? Maybe not enough?

That's why. That's where you're like, well let me.

Unless something epeak happened during your life, why are you saving it?

Nothing is epic happening. It's so sad. A lot of times people go live and it's like are you at a concert?

Right?

Is this church? You live? During the altar call? Like people are weird.

We're all looking for attention, that's all it is, like we're dying for it. It's it's so important to be seen and felt seen and likes and comments, and it's just like what am I here for? And you you don't get that gratification anywhere else except social media.

It's instant.

Well, you want everybody to see how good you look, or you want everybody to see them braves with the beads on it that you got on your Jamaican vacation or whatever y'all he posted. But I feel like some people, the people I guess who keep their accounts on all private, don't care, but they still care.

Oh, I don't understand private account No private.

Private is if you have a stalker, if you have people that you don't know are following you and you don't want them to follow you.

No, because it's usually like the most boring people that have.

Yeah, it's like regular regular, it'd be like your mom.

Yeah yeah.

Here's a photo of sliced oranges for Jackson's.

So I'm not going to put it publicly because I don't want anybody to see it.

I don't want anybody to know that I'm not home so they can't rob me when I'm not just stopping shop.

Maybe that's what it is. I don't know.

I have no idea what that is. But there are people who are on social media just to see what other people are doing. They don't even post anything.

That's so weird, and that's.

Is that weirder than a private account. You have an account just so you the see stuff.

That's yea, why not?

I mean, I don't watch TV because I'll be watching instant stories.

I'm like, ah okay.

On another episode of this bitch went out and none of her friends are hanging out with her, and so she's in a corner just you know, mimicking all the lyrics and music videos or music songs, music songs, yes, music video music song started with rap songs, you know what music songs?

Uh? Yeah.

I mean a lot of people go out and they don't have a good time. They just want you to see what they look like. We were out last night, and I guess it's we were we discovered the new uh the new Black People bbq's see see Yeah. But it was like everybody was dressed up and had a twenty two inch yaky ponytail and they were all celebrating their birthday with a face full of Mac makeup and.

It was like highlighter hard right, and they were like iglight it. The table next to us, the girl just had her friend taking photos of her and her man and her man in his target T shirt. And it was like, but she put a look on.

I said, I never felt more sorry for anybody than me looking at that girl just taking pictures of this couple that it's like, I know she's not jealous of her friend, but come here for that. Let me tell you she was young at thirty something. When you hand your friend to take a picture of you and your signific other at a restaurant celebrating your day, it's it's weird.

Get somebody else to do it.

There's gotta my friend, somebody else to get Yeah, the waiter gotta take it.

What you talking about? He gets minimum wage? Just fine? Here for this. Let me tell you what are the specials?

Right, his thumb gonna be in it, the tray's gonna be in it, his his his jacket sleeve is gonna block the flash this.

You're gonna ask me to take the photo, and you're gonna tell I'm not gonna want to really take the picture.

By the picture, you.

Ever see somebody who just really, truly doesn't want to take the end They take it.

In the shows. So you should only have people who are very passionate about the waiter at the restaurant that I'm mad.

Listen when I was, when I was hold on, hold on, when I was working, and I thought that I was gonna get better tips. Bitch, let me say, oh girl, fix your shoulder, get your pasture together, get that swoop of air. I would do everything in an a. You see the extra dollar fifty dollars tips?

You saw the table in question? Was they gonna give an extra ten for a photo for a photo for the ground.

I'm just saying, there comes a point where you ask a friend to take photos of you, and it gets it gets sad in disrespect, does it?

Snia?

I feel like you are queen of asking people to take photos of you.

We both take pictures of each other, and we are very passionate about taking pictures of each other.

So there's that. No one is more passionate about photography than you are. A friend.

You are queen. You're always ready to pose. You always got you always got a look and a pose in a face in an angle. Right, I disagree. These are lies. People have seen your Instagram.

You're lying as well.

You're always ready as well, Mike, I'm not always ready. I don't take photos at the drop of a hat. This is something that you do, friend, you be prepared.

Meanwhile, we look on Marie's insta, let's go right now, photo pon photo, pose, pon post nothing. You don't have a regular photo in there?

That okay?

Because I shot a bunch of photos in a session. You are, at any given time, are ready to take a picture at an Applebee's, in a waiting room, in a hitting room, of a tzara at the at the colleges office.

My page bus stop.

Okay, But I'm not saying that you're posting photos all the time. I'm saying that you are always taking them.

I don't know. I don't know if I agree with that.

All right, I don't need you to agree. I already know, Like I'll be sitting next to you and you'll be taking photos.

I'll be there disagree.

If anybody don't take or post photos, it's Andrew Goes. His page hasn't been updated since twenty sixteen. Oh my god.

And it's just like, what are you using the listeners for? I'm trying to figure out like you get in these listeners, but what you've given them?

I post on my story hmm. I like stories.

What we what were we doing before? Stories?

Uh?

Just posts? Yeah, and they were boring. This is great they changed. I haven't posted in a while. No cute pics. I don't have you guys around to take pictures of me all the time.

So, well, who are your friends? Who?

Not photographers?

I can tell her that, But wait, who are your friends?

Though? Who are my friends? Did you want names?

No?

Just like what kind of people are they? Because I've met some of them, but not like your core.

Yeah, I couldn't.

I couldn't point them out in the lineup at all, of course, right right, so you know what that means.

They all got lazy eyes?

Who like, who is your going to Fire Island crew?

We're not going to Fire Island. I don't have a fireland crew. I don't have any gay male friends either, which is like weird. And I back and forth with it because I see all these gays and they all go to Fire Island. They they they all have a group. Yeah, but I'm just like, is it weird that I don't have that? But I feel like a lot of gay men are feeling that right now, because like the people that do go to Fire Island, they'll post up and make everyone else feel bad.

Yeah, but that's what the point is. That's what some of these posts.

The purpose of them is so true and it's working.

Every So you're watching it from your house or you're watching it from your cafeteria at work, and you're like, damn, but why.

I'm just trying to figure out who these friends andrew, Like, who are the people?

So they're not gay? Yeah, they're straight straight pep. I think it's a lot of women.

It's mostly like queer women. Yeah, but I have like a few straight male friends as well.

But you dump those people?

Those are No, they're fun? Are they're fun? Yeah?

Straight male friends. Oh so you definitely fucked them then, no, on your way? What are you thinking about it? No?

They have girlfriends? God, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Tony Morrison would tell you about that. Tony Morrison.

Yeah, apparently her husband was cheating on her with a man.

Wait. I thought that was the lady that wrote How Still Got Her Groove Back?

Oh?

Yes, not Tony Morrison. Yeah, my bad. I'm not rest in peace, Tony. Okay, cut that out. Cut that out, lady.

You're being so generous that these cuts lately. Never before have you been like cut that out. Cut that out, cut.

It out, cut it out, And.

Maybe listeners aren't even hearing that cut it out that I'm hearing because we've cut every other part that you say, cut it out.

Work, Andrews. Sometimes, you know how long you've been doing the.

Pod for coming up on a.

Year, So finally we're making you do this a little bit extra work.

Come on now, No, no, no, I'm used to not doing work and I'm comfortable doing that.

Okay, Well things have changed. My hair has changed, and you have as well, and the pod as well.

Well, I'm not changing. I'm not changing. We're keeping it in.

Oh wait, so who I got to talk to Alex?

Oh my god, we're telling dad.

Okay, so let's go back to the part where we're not cutting. Yeah, it doesn't matter if somebody has a girlfriend, they can still cheat with a gay man.

Okay, Yeah, that's the takeaway.

All right.

Sure, I mean, I guess these things happen. You know, people feel how they feel.

We had a whole episode of this podcast where a woman had never been with a woman before, and she was with her boyfriend for I don't know how many years, four or five years.

They got engaged and then she started hooking up with her best friend. Yeah, her married best friend.

Which is weird because it's just like if you all of a sudden have feelings for your best friend, were you did? You always have feelings. It's just I don't know that's for you to hook up with your best friend right before you get married. That means you've been thinking about your best friend for a minute. It doesn't just all of a sudden happen, but feelings developed. It takes time.

Yeah, sure, but it happened, and it needs a boil up to that.

Yeah, sure, absolutely, But they had never they had never hooked.

Up, and they were friends from college, and the friends has a child and a husband and a house and a mortgage.

I mean, I don't know if she still got all them things.

Now do you consider that cheating? Yes, you said before that it wasn't cheating. You said that if one of the straight guy friends like cheated on their girlfriend with a guy, you said that that was okay. That I feel like you had.

I've never said that. I've never said that. I said it is cheating.

Is cheating? Is cheating? Is a cheater cheat? To us? That's why there's a show called because you're a cheat. You cheat.

Wait, hold on, wait, but what was the point that you were trying to make before then?

About what?

Yeah, didn't you You definitely said something along those lines.

I've never said that, right?

Are you looking on this?

He said that his friends are straight, but they have girlfriends, and you said so, so, yeah.

That doesn't mean just because they have a girlfriend, that doesn't mean that they can't cheat on them with you.

That she didn't say cheating was okay, It wasn't cheating. She's saying they can cheat.

You heard what you wanted to hear and cheating anyway. Did we talk about anything today? Accomplished anything? We're accomplishing so much. I'm really I'm proud of what we're doing. It's just, you know, I've never had feelings for a friend.

That's I think that's strange.

There will be movies where that happens, like right before the person gets married, their best friend is like, but I love you, and it's just like what.

But in those movies, they've always had a crush or or they.

They've always just been really really cool and the other person was like a playboy or something, you know, like an Ashton Kutch or something stupid like that, and then when they see that their friend is getting married, that's when all the feelings come rushing in and it's like, oh, I'm about to lose my best friend, love of my life.

I'm here for a rom com, I'm here for it.

I'm not one of my friends.

Because I knew you had sex with one of your friends. Yeah, because it's Andrew, one of your straight friends.

Oh no, no, no, but he was. He is bisexual, and I knew that he like had a crush on me, and we were like going out and everything. We'd never really addressed it, and we had sex that night and it was like literally one of the best sexual encounters I've ever had.

And it could happened what happened.

And then we never hung out again. Oh once one more time, but I was like, it's weird now.

But it was like that's why you're not supposed to about your friend.

I know, but it was. It was great though, It was fantastic.

So did you ever reach out to him?

Yeah? We we texted a little bit and we tried like hanging out again. We were like, no, we don't want to have sex again. We don't even want to have we don't want to go out.

Again, We don't want to be friends again.

No, and he also moved, So what did you move to?

Somewhere gross? Like Seattle? Okay, Portland?

There we go, There we go, baby dead, there we go dead the way, there we go.

Well, I've never hooked up with a friend.

No, it was great because I was like because I I feel like I was like banking in on like the fact that he had a crush on me for so long, So like that was like a.

Yeah, but what about you know someone has had a crush on you for so long you hook up with them and is bad?

What about that? Oh?

Yeah, but that was not the experience, though I had great sex.

If we're friends, friendship is more important. No, friendship is more important than penis. Yeah, friendship is more important than a hookup, especially if you've had hookups before.

You know what, you know what it is, it's worth it.

But if Andrew's life was a was a rom com, Okay, this is weird. If Andrews life was a rom com, then he would hook up with his friend, it'd be the best sex he ever had, and then they would get married.

Them should say real though, So there's that I didn't value Sorry, Sorry, sorry, Cody.

I'm assuming his name was like Corbin or something like that.

We're off, but we're not revealing it either.

Okay, Kyle, Colin, Colin, Andrew like black dudes.

It was not a black guy.

Ah, so I was right with the Colin the corbyins.

Colin was the black guy, like, I can't tell it.

See now you got to do now, you gotta do your cut?

No, no, no, he said, he stopped listening to the podcast.

That's what he told you, babe, babe.

When people say they don't listen to the podcast, look, okay, so let's just say this. We love talking to you, we love talking to each other, and then y'all listening and enjoy it.

That's awesome.

I think that that's fantastic because we would be having these conversations without you guys if.

We didn't anyways, which we do.

And the conversations that we have we're not recording. Who so much hotter and sweeter than this. But when people tell us they're listening to the podcast, it makes us feel like like when people we know or that we're dealing with or working or whatever, it makes us feel like, damn they gonna hear this and judge me for it or damn.

Now, I can't care.

I can't say I can't talk about this specific person.

I don't care about getting judged because people are gonna judge you anyway. It's just more about like, oh, I feel like you know too much?

You know what I mean?

Like that exists. Yeah, I don't want you to know that side of me. That's all it is, which is it happens. Everybody gets different sides. If you think you're getting all of one person all the time, you're fucking crazy and you're delusional.

No, you're John Legend. You think he's not getting all of Chrissy Tigancauz love me. Yeah, I loved all of her, joun Legend, all of it.

Well, people can be with somebody every single day and still not know something is going on.

That's wrong.

I'm just saying, anyone, it sounds like we're getting into suns now. I'm just saying that, you know that is true.

Yes, there's people, you know, when I was an alcoholic, there's people who didn't even know that I was fucking struggling.

So there's that. There's also that here we are telling the truth. Tell truth and shame.

Shame the devil. The lives will never thrive. On the unofficial expert, I don't know.

Liing is fun, So keep doing it if you're doing it fun, if it brings you joy and it's protecting the people that you love, lot of them.

You gotta be really good at lying. That's the thing.

Like, if you're just an inconsiderate liar and you don't fact check any of your lies, then it's just it gets too complicated and then you get caught and then it boils over.

It's just bad.

Mm.

I think I want you to be good about your lying. It sounds like.

That movie, that Diane Lane movie, Unfaithful, Unfaithful.

Yeah, that was a good movie. Have you seen that movie?

I've not seen Richard Gear.

Diane Lane is a battie. She was great. She was so sexy.

Halle Berry's baby daddy in the movie Pier or something Olivier Olivier something.

Yeah, okay, now close, Yeah that French little Spanish man. You look like Lego Lass.

Yeah, Olivier Martinez. Yeah, okay, see French Spanish mix Aican. He was hot. The whole thing was the movie is such a good movie.

Look, I love, I love like a little thriller, a little, a little unfaithful, a little she's too young, you know, one of those Lifetime movie originals. I'm here for that. That's a good that's entertaining to me. And then like a bad action movie. Anyway, I'm here for it. I'm saying, life, you need a lie, save yourself.

Small lies, though not big lies, pretty little lies, pretty big little lies.

Big little big yes, big little, big little lies, sans Zoe Kravitz, That's what I want.

Why you say, oh god, why, what's the problem you love Zoe Kravitz.

I hate that you hated her and big we're not gonna.

We don't really need her and big little lies, and we definitely didn't need a second season of that. I have not seen you seen it, I know, so for me, the.

Show was over. It ended beautifully.

Yeah, it was a good first season. Second season not as good.

Oh but I could have to do that. They had Marilyn that terrible wig.

Oh my god, miss I think she had like prosthetic teeth. There's something wrong with her teeth. They're like big, yeah, yeah.

I mean Meryl, I mean, this is somebody who's doing it truly for the love of the game.

You know, she just she likes it.

I'm do this, she doesn't care.

Yeah, here's hoping that one day I'll be that good of an actor. I'm talking about Zoe Kravitz, not Meryl Street. I'm talking about Zoe Kravitz, not not Miss Streep, not black, not white.

Viola Davis.

Viola's playing Michelle Obama.

I know, And I'm just I what movie.

I forget what it was. I just saw like the headline that she's playing Michelle Obama in something, and I'm like, oh my god.

I love it. But I'm also like, they look nothing alike, and.

Well, neither did Zoe Saldana and she played Nina Simon. Let's talk about the black face of that. Okay, Viola Davis.

Well, who would you want to play?

I don't know if I need a Michelle Obama movie. Oh, it's a drama series at Showtime called First Ladies, an anthology series, so we're gonna get a Barbara Bush movie too. Is a serious episode, two a boring ass Barbara Bush, A Nancy Reagan, a messy ass Nancy Reagan episode, and then those the only First Ladies that I know the three that.

I just married Hillary Clinton. Did you say Mary Tyler.

Moore, Mary Todd Lincoln.

Oh, Abraham Lincoln's beard, Yeah, exactly.

I can't name it any others though.

Oh, here's Michelle Obama with a little blonde onmbre. Okay, see that? Come on, Beyonce.

I mean, she looks great, but Violet doesn't look nothing like No, damn Michelle Obama.

No.

And they're reaching and it's fine, But who would play Michelle Obama? Who looks like Michelle Kelly Gary? I don't.

Actually, the more I look at these photos, the more they look exactly the same.

I see it now, which two pictures?

All of the pictures Violet Davis looks like Michelle Obama and all of the pictures. To me, Sidney, who would you want to play you in a movie? Gabrielle Union? Really? Because I feel like that level of that name. Yeah, I don't think you deserve it better.

I actually love Gabrielle Union. She's following me on Twitter and shout out to you.

Wow, my gal, there's one.

Week that you came in that you looked exactly like Tika Sumter.

Were we like Tika?

We like Tika?

Yeah, that's a compliment, friend. I mean, I don't know why.

I'm working is. But she was Tiffy Hattish and Whip the Goldberg maybe in the.

Fall Tify Hattish and Whoopie Goldberg movie.

Wasn't she She played like Tiffany Haddish's sister.

Oh right, yeah she did. And I was like, I don't even see how they made that work. But it didn't because the movie didn't do well.

So it's fine. So yeah it hap for you me. Who would play me in a movie?

I don't know, but probably some small sexy black boy, the dude from Moonlight so cute, the middle version one, not the.

Actually I see it, or your brother, Your brother would play you.

And and it would be that level of acting to be that Oh my god, yeah, my brother he doesn't have any fish. We have the same a man of facial hair. So that's who will play me in a movie, and you will play you in a movie.

Of your life.

I always get like the actors with like the really like fat faces back to round head, like the Mark Wahlberg or Matt Damon, they have like a lot of you think.

Matt Damon, you reach now that's like viola Davis playing Michelle Obama. Honey, honey that you're bringing to the pods about today. No, Mark Wahlberg, who else has He's got a stronger Jawn friend. I'm just saying, crying right now. Okay, let me Sydney, I think one of those the Stranger Things kids, one of.

Those literal twelve year old you're like, yeah, thank.

You now from all that Riverdale, c W, that's sexy Verdale. Anybody that's in Gossip Girl, I see it.

Okay, I'll take that like c W.

None of the leads. Somebody you know, extra a friend of.

Cavas, Yeah, somebody was one of the main characters.

Sydney is such a but you're the and I'm the gone.

Yeah, but you County today is no, I'm more gone than you. Look how big buddies I told you and I'm going.

To wow how the tables have turned, with.

How the count and going to tables have shifted. Sidney, I needed that thank you so much.

Mean it was not me.

It was literally told me that it looked like a strangers to reach.

Those kids are sitting you think, Mark Warber.

I am not saying that, She says degree separation, getting mad damon, hold on, let me get isn't hot though you said it's.

Not about the hotness that you guys don't look like each other.

Let me google Stranger Things because I need to see what these kids look like stranger Literally, none of them look like me. Things.

The little black boys, he's doing well. He got like a million followers on Instagram.

He's doing great. Oh yeah, Andrew, you might could be one of the strangers.

Oh it's little brunette boys.

Any of them?

Oh my god, actually the black boys Trader Things could play me, Sydney.

Wait, which one do you think I look like? Then? Out of them? Any of them in a particular. Oh, that's so rude.

But you looked at it and you noticed they all have bangs too.

They have all have like, very like coconut heads.

But you have little coconuts around and we've already established around heads.

Sis. I mean you could be the girl Listeners.

Listeners, I want you all to tell us who would play y'all in a freaking movie, and then I'm gonna hit your freaking cob pick and let you know if we agree.

Yeah, send us a photo of the person that you think you look like.

You're doppelganger. Yeah, and then I will read you like I did Andrew. I love this. Should we answer any listener questions before we go? Or are we are? We just gonna leave them on that.

We want you guys to send us a photo of who you think your doppelganger is, and we'll put it in the stories.

We'll all put in the stories. That'll be fun.

Ale yes or no, that'll be fun.

I really enjoy that. That's great, and.

Send us the photo you think you look most like this celebrity. Yeah, and don't try it. Don't be telling us Scarlett Johansson when you look like Trick.

Who.

Wow, Marie, that's ruder than what I just did to Andrew.

No, it's not, because I'm talking about abstract, ugly people.

So Scarto said that she can play anybody.

She sure did.

She said, did you see the list the highest paid actresses of twenty nineteen, all of white women.

You're surprised about this white.

No, I'm not, but it just it was like, dam oh, honey, she's she's so close to the dimensions of a white woman.

Yeah, yeah, what you're talking about?

She said, You said that like she had a little bit of melanin in her skin was like Sophia, She's not two or three. Yeah, she makes so much money from Modern Family. And then where else is her money coming from her sponsorships and stuff? Oh?

She does like all the sponsorship. She does. Pepsi she does.

Ah, yes, Pepsi and something else.

And you know the Pepsi checks cute because they pay the Super Bowl halftime show. They're the ones who pay the celebrities are I'm assuming mind you the people who are sponsored by Pepsi probably haven't had a Pepsi in the most time.

Yeah, Pepsi is just like if I'm at a football game, I guess I'll drink.

I haven't drink pepsi. It's not really my thing.

My first screen name when I was when I was on AIM was Pepsi Player.

I don't believe. I don't even know what that means. I don't believe that.

I just liked alliteration. Yeah, I just wanted two p's and a player. And then and my second screen name was sister Girl zero three zero. Oh my god, do you remember what your screen.

Name was so problematic? It was Chinky Latte. I didn't realize it was so bad until My Korean friend was like, do you know what hinky means?

Honest? Like, and you're like, yeah, pretty eyes. Yeah that's what I said.

And she was like, well, I know that you're better than this, and I think you should change your name.

Oh, your Korean friend was woke.

So then when I changed my name to Coco Loco something else, No, Coco Loco sid, Coco Loco sid or something like that.

Hilarious. Andrew, did you have screen name?

Yeah, maguire dude.

So basically what your your ig is now?

No, my ig is at mcguiguy mc g u I underscore g uy, okay, get them followares I plug.

Okay, So below the post for this podcast this episode, leave your screen name below it.

So that's your two. You got two assignments.

A comment below tell us what your screen name was under the post for this episode, and then slide in our DMS and send us a photo.

Of who you think would play you in a movie.

In a movie, yeah, and be real, be honest. I mean some of you are going to be silly because I see the stuff that y'all send us that are ridiculous.

But who will play you as a kid and who'll play you as an adult. Yeah, that should be fun.

Is that too much work?

I think no, just take the adult. I feel a kid and adults too much.

Yeah you know this adult adult? Yeah, sure, sure. There's different versions of people's faces.

You know.

Wendy Williams apparently has a biopic coming out.

Oh my god, have you seen her post lately Full Mass? She's doing like so much effects on her face it's crazy. And she spent the other night with Ninnie.

Yeah, she's hanging out with all her these like celebrity women. Now she's like, she's like, I'm I'm single and I'm.

Off of work, and they want to help her, That's what it is. But they really are just.

No, it's not that they want to help her. I think she just wants to seem like she's fine. She's just trying to seem heffected.

By She took it down since but I just found it.

You post you screenshot it.

Both these wigs look atrocious. Let me see, they have too much money to have wigs like this.

Well.

Also, like look at Nini's nose.

You know, you get you get the wrong nosejab one dime, and then you try to fix it a second time. You just do a tame Yeah, you can't add cartilage after you take it off.

Why is real life so funny? Renewed girls that are the best time.

Let me see, let me see what the hell miss Wendy talking about. Wendy's crazy. I can't but I'm crazy too, So it's fine.

I see you, sis, I see you and myself sans the thyroid.

Also is the wig? That okay? So you know, you get a wig, you get a part.

You gotta put concealer in the part so it looks like your skin is showing through the top of the wig. But Ninni leaks line goes down her forehead. But she has a team of people that could have brushed the line off her, like.

Well, she's so mean she won't let anybody fix that. Shit, my god, that line.

Is that's not even her color. That's a white woman's shade. Like, what is happening this? You know what it is? That's her, that's her. I'm going to the supermarket wig. You know how you just throw something on top of you like, ah, you know, I just need something you go out in.

That's what that is. That's her Erran's wig.

She was just hanging out with Wendy and she's like, oh, you know, we're just getting something at Dallas BBQ.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know, the two of them went somewhere where they where they could be seen.

They went to a scene. Honey, yeah, you know they want to see they want to see it.

Well, speaking to see, I got a piece, So I'm gonna go get that because thank you for listening to this podcast, we're gonna have some Hopefully by the time this comes up, some patreons, well some new episodes will have been.

Oh, we gotta get to it and leave more reviews. We were loving the reviews on iTunes. Keep it going, push those reviews, leave those comments.

Telethon that we're in right now, I feel it.

I mean, listen, if you want to make moves on iTunes, it's really up to them.

It's up to the listeners.

And we know it's so many of y'all listening because y'all stay in the d ms, in the keep that energy and take it all over to iTunes.

That's what that is.

Bye guy, Forever Dog.

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