Let's Talk About It

Forever.

We are here. We're here, We're queer. We're here, and we are queer, and we're gonna be a little bit mean this year. No, I want to I want to step back. I don't want to be mean no more.

You can have it, everybody can have it. I don't want to be mean anymore. I just want to be a good, nice person.

Okay, so what steps are gonna take to be a nice person. Let's talk about it.

I think I just technically can't be a nice person anymore. I think that I've gotten to the age where I'm just setting my ship. And I was just like, I'm not gonna do more than I'm supposed to anymore. Yeah, you're gonna do it a bare minimum. I'm just not gonna go out of my way like that anymore. It's just it's just too much. Yeah, it's like I'm tired,

Yeah, I just don't have it. I don't have anymore.

And you know, that's the cool thing about getting older is you become aware of what you no longer have time for, things that you no longer go entertain, right, Like, I feel like when we're younger, we want to please everybody.

You want to be friends with everybody, you want to be out all the time.

And then you get a little bit older and you're like, actually, I'm gonna stay home tonight and I feel good here, or you're like, m this person doesn't bring anything of value to my life, so I'm not gonna call them because they only talk about themselves for an hour, you know, oh oh.

Oh no oh. I mean I don't feel like that with us. I feel like it's very balanced. But it's also like, I mean, we just I have too many comedian friends.

I need you, you gotta get you, gotta dump some of them, funny them, funny friends.

No, it's just like we're we're very like into ourselves and very narcissistic, and you know, we're always performing and it's always a bid and it's always and it's just like, yeah, people who are not in this, they just are there better. They can be there for you because this is their night, this is their thing, Like they're into you. But in comedy we can't necessarily be as obsessed with each other because I'm like, I'm trying to be obsessed with myself.

Okay, okay, I am my own biggest fan. Yeah, truly, truly you are. Yeah, I don't know. This big was rough for me though, I don't I don't know.

I yes, we have to be our own biggest fans, but also we're our own harshest critics too, yeah, because we are with ourselves all the time, right, And I have nothing but time to sit in my brain. Right, So you know, I have some shows and I am somebody who is very good at not being prepared for stuff, because that's kind of what my brand is.

It's like, well, I'll figure it out. I'll figure it out.

And I have been lucky enough that like that sustained me for this long. I just like I don't really be ready, but like it works out, and like I'm funny enough and I'm pretty enough and I'm mean enough and blah blah blah enough.

But like this week, I half asked it for.

Like most of the shows that I was on, and it was very obvious, and I don't like how I feel, but I also don't want to be in this cycle that I'm in right now for much longer.

Like, yeah, Marie text me some shit. I was like, do you need me to call you right now? Like I will leave my colleagues.

And call you. She just didn't sound like herself. I was like, you like a crazy person.

I was like, is this insanity that I'm still doing this thing that I've been doing for like the last six six and a half six years.

You know what I mean.

It's just like this is not like I want to do something else.

Yeah, I want to grow, I want to keep making money, but I also want I feel like I'm not challenging myself because I'm not.

I'm not.

It's not challenging for me to do comedy because I'm not really trying that hard.

Does that make sense? Yeah, Like I'm not fully committed to it.

I've never fully been committed to any job I've had, So like, if I stop doing comedy.

I ain't got no skills. I can't go anywhere else. I can't get an office journey. You have skills.

I think that it's true about applying yourself and and that's the crazy thing about being at this job is like you need to write jokes. Like we are funny people, but to write a joke is an actual skill and it's not easy. And I try every fucking day, and I be in these pitch meetings like, oh, here's a joke, here's it, you know, I do like four or five jokes in it, and like it'll be topical on it.

And people can tell.

When you half fast, when you don't really put the effort, Like I had twenty minutes on the show last night.

Sis, when I tell you, I went in there, like.

Hay, it was like, and you did what you needed to do or you thought you had enough prepared and they were like and you're like, I still have time.

They were looking like, yeah, somebody, this is funny. But a lot of this is unprepared.

Because you're like working on new stuff and you're like trying to get thoughts together and you're yeah, but I could have.

I could have done it.

So the next show I went to IO, I was doing my set list. I was actually trying to write stuff out and I was like, take your time, what are you actually saying?

And then the next show it was like, fucking fantastic.

It was only eight minutes, it wasn't twenty, So of course I'm going to grand slam that. Yeah, but it is truly about applying yourself. And I just to have the drive is so annoying because I'll be at work and I'm like, damn, what the fuck are they working on?

Like oh, it looks like they like it and they don't.

But it's just you just have to get yourself in that wee okay, this is this is writing, this is a joke, this is comedy, this is work, blah blah blah. And I'm like, I want to get there. That's how you grow, you know what I mean. That's how you sell something. You can't you can't sell something on the first try. You gotta like rewrite, so you gotta fucking know how to write.

And so I tell y'all stuff.

That this is all stuff that that I know, This is all stuff that we know. But like Also it's like I don't know, like when I had that, when I had that show on Vice, it was that was what my job was. I had a thing that I was doing Monday through Thursday. I knew what my date look was, right, and then Fridays I had off. That was the first day of the week that I would take the subway. I was like, all these poor people

But like I wasn't.

I wasn't thinking like it's I wasn't proving myself to people that I could see.

Does that make sense.

Yeah, So coming out of that and then having to get back into comedy was a little bit rough for me because I was like, I don't really want to be here, but like it's like an ends to a mean, a means to an end whatever.

I don't even know what both of those things mean.

Yeah. Uh, so, uh, then when I was in Europe for them three weeks, I wasn't on stage, I wasn't doing comedy.

And then I came back.

You're living your fucking life and having things to talk about.

I mean, ray ho.

But but I'm back here and I'm not really talking about the stuff that happened to me when I was going. Okay, I've talked about like a couple of things on stage, but I'm not using everything that happened to me in Europe. That's not what my material is about. Okay, So so what else happened that we don't know about? I'm just satting all I'm talking. You've seen the set that I've been doing since i've been back. I'm talking about the the dude in the wheelchair, and I'm talking about the.

Dude whose card got to Clyde. Yeah, you know what I mean.

So, but a bunch of other things happened, and I just I don't I don't know. I didn't show the other day and the crowd wasn't really reacting to me the way that I felt like I needed them to, and I was like, I don't care about these people and they don't care about me, Like why am I here?

Did you say no?

I thought that so loud in my head that I thought I said it out loud. But it's like, like, like, what is the purpose of this for me? The purpose? For me, the purpose has always been do comedy until it turns it to something else.

Yeah, right, because I'm not in it.

I'm not in it stand up forever. Like I'm not trying to be on my my Kevin Hart. I'm trying to be on my Eddie Murphy do it pop, never come back, come back for after twenty five years of not doing it, make seventy million dollars like that goals.

So I don't know, I just feel like a hamster on a wheel.

That's what this is what this week has felt like to me, Like since this is what we're doing still this know?

I mean you're do you have a show tonight?

And so the shows that you were the reason why you said yes to the shows is because you were like, oh, let me kind of be preps for like but but and I know then you wrote me that You're like, I don't really I was like, yeah, but I but I but I don't know.

If I spoke to you or to Carolina about this.

When they were asking me to do the show, I didn't want to do it, so and I was and I kept letting the dates that they were sending me go away. Yeah, and they'd be like, oh, it's already booked, and I'd be like, oh darn, and then they would just give me new dates to come. And I was like, I don't want to go, and Carolina, I thought it was you, but Carolina was like, you should just go. You're gonna have a good time. You've done that theater before, Like,

And it's like, but I don't really, Like I'm not even in love with comedy right now, yeah, and now.

I gotta do this thing that I don't really want it. And it's like, but since what else you're gonna do? You wanna sit home? It's not like you want something else to keep you busy.

That's what happened to me. I truly, I was. I had booked that thing for Boston and.

At an hour, yes, and I was like, oh, I'm gonna get on a I'm gonna get a ride. And then my job was like, oh, you got to be at work. So I spent my money to take a plane to Boston. I remember that stupid, like I couldn't believe. I was like, do I love stand up this much? But I was like, Oh, I don't want to be that person that cancels and I do actually want to work on all this new material. Right I get on

Like what is this? What am I saying? What?

What's funny about this? This is what I'm writing NOWT And I was like, oh, this is.

This is gonna go bad. This is gonna be a bad set. I don't even know.

And then it was the show and then I got up there and honestly.

Fucking one of the best sets I've had.

And I was like, oh, we because I was like, I have to apply myself. When I just go up there and I'm gonna wing it with no purpose, then yeah, it's gonna be bad.

And I think that's just like life in general.

Like when I was waitressing, I was doing the same thing and I was making money and it was.

It looked like it was good.

But what am I doing? What is my purpose? What am I here for? And so but that's such a real question.

Yeah, right, every day you get up and you have twenty four hours, and what are you doing in the twenty four hours?

Like for me since I got back, not really that.

Much, right because I don't have a day job, and if I have stuff to do throughout the week, it's so spread out that most of my day I'm just like, essentially what is my purpose? Like not on some like sad like suicidal type stuff, just like since like you just this whole what did you do today?

Right?

Is your whole day? This show that you're doing tonight for these people that aren't even really engaged.

With you right now, Like that's what I've been feeling this week, and it's like I've since got to find some hobbies or like some type of creative outlet where I can learn something or like just grow as a human being.

Because the.

Because at the end, like if I died tomorrow, it'd be like that was the last week of my life.

This past week was the last week of my life. I didn't even.

Do anything, right, but I was out every day quote unquote doing stuff, but like I didn't actually do anything.

So but I do feel like, again, we're very hard on ourselves because there's like months where it's like, oh, we're working, working, working, with no time, no time to ourselves, no time to think.

And so.

It's okay to be in the moment and say, hey, I'm not really doing much. Something is gonna come, but we have to work towards what's that next thing? And so women are saying hard as a comic, yeah, because you know, freelance, I work for myself, right, And some of the people that I'm like, they're not that good, but they working for themselves and that's why they are

You don't just get it. They're not funny, they're not talented. Well they're working. What were you doing while they were not? Your unfunny ass is sitting here with me, so or your funny ass is sitting here with me, you know what I mean.

So I think I do think that we individually or together, we need to do more shows that's for our people, because then that is a purpose. Or are going out and working on stuff that's like, oh, these people are coming out for us, So it's gonna it's gonna go.

It's a hit.

And so when like people go on tour, like two friends go on tour and they go to these different shows, I mean for the most part, they're like.

Half of the people are gonna be for them.

So even half, if half of the room is there that who genuinely like you, you already are doing something that feels like, oh this is working, right. I know some comedians who will not go to shows because they're like, I don't need that energy.

Which is good. That's self caress.

If I like, if I know that I'm gonna show up somewhere and it's the host is gonna be like not able to keep the crowd together. The crowd's not gonna be into what I'm saying. It's gonna be a rowdy kind of unruly situation. I'm yeah, look, I can't make it out on a triple book tonight. Yeah look, where'd you say Queens? You know I'm not gonna make it to Queens tonight. But this is why I think the podcast. When I asked you guys on the Instagram

We got people in.

All our holes in Toronto, a bunch of hoes in Toronto, but we got people in Saint Louis and in Miami.

Like, so we need to know where y'all are so when we do decide to do a show, we know that we're going there with a purpose and we know that we're going to be talking to our people. A lot of times we go out in duty shows and comics and it's like these people don't know us. They they're there maybe for somebody else or maybe for the host or maybe for the venue or blah blah blah. But you know, for the most part, comedy is something that I enjoy doing. But this past week I was like, ah, this sucks.

But again, when I watch people who like just accelerate when they people come out, you just constantly getting people who are obsessed with you or like obsessed with your work. That helps you and you're confidence and then it feeds into your crazy.

Yeah if it's you're crazy. But hey, I feel like I got fans. I'm here for the craze. Let's go merch merch. I mean, I love it.

I mean the fact that everybody's been hitting us up in the last three weeks it felt great.

I was like, look at.

The pod, just just jump starting another career.

Okay, and everybody has a podcast. Now I know you're seen everybody. Okay, everyone, I'm laughing at everybody who thinks I'm talking about them.

Oh my god, their palm trees, so shady trees. Anyway, So that's what my week was.

You went to Boston, you had this awesome show that you thought was gonna go badly, and then you took the bus back.

I took my humble lass, took the bus back, and then I'm sitting there and I'm just like thinking about like, yeah, what what else? And and so this week I've just been like, damn, what are you really good at? You know?

People? Did you make a list?

I did not make a list, but I definitely the top three things?

Is that?

Like, because I had an evaluation at work too, because like a check in, how did that go? Hey, you're valued here, like you work well with others, like your your perspective matters, like you're needed. All those things are great. The is there a butt because there's.

No butt, but there's the butt.

No but but but there's no butt, but but but but but but.

I don't trust people in the industry.

I don't trust anybody because I've seen, like with my bare eyes, someone not laugh at someone's whole shit and then they come off to stay.

You're great, What bitch? How how do you?

How do you fix your lips to say some shit like that you're a liar? And so I hate and so I just I just don't trust. When when y'all come up to us after a show, I'll be like.

Ah, it's real, it's real. We believe y'all.

When they hit us in the DMS and be like Andrew needs a mic, I'm like, they fuck with Andrew, they fuck with the producer they want.

Yeah, they're engaged Andrew.

Didn't you feel some type of way when they were like, we need Andrew on the mic?

My god, it's just so great.

I love it, Yeah, because I loved engaging with you guys for the past few months and just like to get that response, to be given a microphone and honor and honor.

But the honor is is that, hey man, you fucking come in here and do with this craziness every week.

So like it's an honor for Saturday mornings, Saturday mon it's great for you to come morning. Yeah.

People don't realize you record the podcast on Saturday mornings. Yeah, and then we upload them on Friday mornings.

So with the fact that you even get this energy from us, it's insane. That's how you know we're professionals.

Professionals.

But yeah, I just you know, I see a lot of people on on d HBO. They like selling stuff, they doing things, and it's like, hey man, I want to get to that too, But it's you can't do that unless you're not in your way.

Yeah, you gotta get out of your own way.

And as black women, you know, it's we're hot right now, but you're not trendy, very trendy, but you you have to be a certain type to even get as far as you think.

You can get.

You can go interesting, it's weird. You gotta be a certain type of black woman to get to where you think you gotta go.

I mean, I'm not gonna say what's going on, but you know there was a festival mm hmmm.

I mean it sounds like you don't say what's going on?

And I was like the gay women that they picked. I was like, that's the specific gay.

What gay women? What festival are you talking about? We don't need some details.

Is I'll talk about it off I'll talk about it on the offline, offline. But I will say me, my type of gay is not as like accepted because I look a certain way.

To present as like a straight feminine female.

Yeah, and and the things that I talk about not the same.

And it's just it's annoying, you know.

I all, every time I get on stage, I have to prove myself three times that I'm a black woman that I'm queer, and also about my depression.

It's a lot of.

Stuff that I have to like prove that you're black enough and gay enough and depressed enough.

Yep, absolutely, Wow.

Yeah you think that that's not what audiences are thinking about. But if they're not in love with you, like we said that, this is what's going through people's.

Yeah, but I mean I went to some shows last week, and the audience doesn't necessarily have to love you, though sometimes they if they hate you enough, they'll laugh.

Like they are comedians that are not revered because they're lovable.

They're like mean, like like Liesa, not Lizon, Minellie, who Lisa?

What's her face? This is Lisa?

Yeah, she like her and like Joan Rivers and all these people, like they built their careers on just.

Being like mean mean weitty smart women, you know what I mean?

People some people like that. You don't have to be lovable for people to like you, Marie. I know, but this week I think I was too mean on stage because I just was over it. So I was up there like just like this one particular show where I was like why am I here? In my mind, I was like I was like, oh, I sound real angry. Would you say I was like, I got it. I was doing my set, it just was and I was working on some new stuff that I had just written, so I was trying to remember it.

I don't know, you had one show that changed your whole life. No, the whole week.

I'm telling you is how I feel like. I just been like, like, what is this, Like, what's the next level of my career?

You know, like what's next?

Well, as a friend, let's get to write this as a friend. And I mean, Andrew can attest to this, like you undeniably are hilarious off the fly. I haven't seen people just be so on it like ever.

You're always on it.

And so it's not like you're not capable of being the best that you. You're remarkable and so it's a good word to thank you so much. Yeah, and and just it's like effortless. So I think that's where it comes from.

It's like, well, since it.

Just comes out, you know, right, but I need a channel that you're just like you just got it and.

You look the way you do, bitch, your feet are not ugly. I didn't have it this week.

I'm telling you. It is crazy.

To sit here sometimes and just like see like the guests feed you something and in a half second come up with like that, Like your responses are just like constantly on point.

Yeah, and Drew, that was a good response, that was on point.

Yes.

Thank you the beautiful words that you guys are saying. And I and I know all this to be true.

I just gotta I have to apply myself in a different way, is all.

The thing is is that acting do we do? We want to act? Like, I don't have that drive. I don't.

I didn't grow up loving any of that. I want to watch it, but that's not me per se. And then every time I go into an audition or thinking about acting, I like turn into a different person.

Yeah, because like not a skill set that that we have naturally, because you learn how to act. Yes, And there are people that were going in on these same auditions with that have been acting for years, you know, they went to.

A conservatory or a Yale School of Drama or whatever.

And then we show up and we're just like, yeah, I'm a I'm a comedic performer. And it's like, nah, you just memorized some words and now you think you're acting, you.

Know, but yeah, and it's like, and that's why I like started writing this bit about how I love actors, but I would never trust them, like I would never be their friend, like their close friend. It's because you are professional at being other people. You don't what is you you spend If you spend like three months on like a character, that's you now, Like so how and you can cry and evoke emotions and all this shit on a whim. Yeah, but not all actors is doing this,

I can't. I can never be your friend.

This is what you're saying while you're watching Viola Davis. Oh off her friend.

I will stand from afar, love you guy all up from here from here, sitting up.

Yeah that's fair enough, Okay, thank you. Yeah, But like Zoe Kravitz, I'll be her friend.

I mean, oh wait, wait, wait, so I shot an episode of her show on Hulu. Oh they invited me to the like the cast party or something. I have a show that night, so I'm not gonna probably go, right, but like, if you know, I'll r VP with a plus one.

We can go hang out with Zoe and you can be like, we're gonna be Francis, I'll see you. I don't know. I didn't see Big Little Live Season two.

You haven't seen it? No, do you watch it?

I watch it, and it's just like y'all are like reaching. So like the first season was so effortless.

And I was based on a book. Yeah, they all had to do was right, do what the author wrote. And then they were like, well, we're gonna remix it and do something else.

It's forced to the t.

No, well, the original author did write the second season like a manuscript that they adopted. But then they like they once they got Meryl Streep on it, they were like, we gotta do it. You know, That's what I think happened. But Zoe Kravitz is absolutely gonna get in. I mean for that, she was Fantasticason, Yeah, she was fantastic in the second season.

You need say no, City said, but she digress.

Wait you didn't see it.

Wait, I'm up today, And I feel like.

You thought, maybe they're maybe they're not giving her character enough. He thinks she was amazing.

Is gonna get a nomination for em before she's done indie films that are better what she's done, indie films where she's like like a prostitute, she like murdered someone.

Yeah, yeah, I think you watched it. I think I started watching that on a plane and it.

Was it was that I've seen her act.

This is not her best acting.

I thought she was great, phenomenal.

I'm gonna say no.

But see, that's the thing about being an artist is you can do something and y'all just proved this point and you and one person receives it and it's like, this is amazing, incredible, You're so great at your job. And then there's that other person. There's ninety nine people in the room and one person doesn't like it.

Acting is it's you truly have to transform and like the greatest people in the acting world, they can get a script that's shitty and and make it their own and they make it better than what it is. That's greatness, just acting, like like like what I be doing, Yes, and that's what I think Zoe is doing. Like even with like her facial expressions, it's just it's not hitting with me.

She'd just be Kosten.

I don't know, because like she was like hardly in the first season. She was really sort of a background player kind of yeah yeah, but then in the second.

I see you know, they bumped her up to uh co star. I think she's character people. Her people fought for that. They were like, if you want Zoe.

Well, at the end of the first season, no ship, she's going to be at the top of second season.

Yeah, of course, but maybe maybe maybe number three on the call sheet because they're not putting Zoe's name above Nicole Kidman.

I'm sorry, I'm seeing I'm seeing Meryl Streep in this, and it's like she had time, she had time, she done. I don't feel I know she's great, but she's not giving me married she's not giving you.

She's giving me.

I'm in here, y'all know what it is. I don't need I'm like, she's here.

For her chick.

Were you blown away by any performances in the show for the second season?

Yeah?

Well who did? Who did you like? For the first season? Everybody? Everybody? Everything made sense.

How about Adam Scott in the second season, he plays.

The husband I don't really care about He's involved because he's his ship is like fucked up.

Yes, damn all right, Well, there's.

So much invested in where his emotions can come from, because one, he's a man, and he's probably like, yo, if this happened to me in real life, I would love for the season to end and he killed her.

She gotta die.

She'd be rude him.

She's so annoying, and she's like not appreciative with Aspoon no, but within the show and Witherspoon No, but she plays annoying really well.

She does. She must be annoying in real life.

That's why a perfect amount of annoying and Instagram I do not, but I.

Feel like she gifts on her stories. It's just too much.

So her name is Reese Witherswiss. Her spoon with her, but the name sounds irritating. It's like, oh, hockey heyes, Werner, I go to Hartford now, like it was hard. I mean, I like legally blonde, so you know, no shade. But you know, with a name like that, of course you're gonna be irritating.

Yeah.

So that's why I mean, you don't trust actors. I don't if they're really really good. If they're really good, it's just like, how can you break break it down and be a normal person. I think I told the story about how I hung out with Denzel Washington.

Again because it's new people here. Oh yeah, we.

Were at Chipriani's. I'm like, name that you. I met him through another friend. I'm not gonna mention.

Well, you don't have to say that friend's name. But yes, so Sydney has famous friends who have famous friends. It wasn't mean because I don't know Denzel got it great your.

Friend, but she she was cool with him, and she had went to the play that like when he was in Actual Fences on Broadway. Like, we're all meeting up and we go to Chipriani's and he's with his friend, and it was insane.

Chipriani is like rich people Italian food. It's rich people olive garden.

It's not rich people olive garden. It's a scene. Honey. It's not even about the food. How dare you? I only go for the food.

It's anyway, it's a big it's like a place that like you would see like a sex and the City of Home.

Yeah, like they go to an event at a place like that. He's there. I mean the whole room on him.

This man is in a tracksuit, haggard, not even fully shaved. Yeah, he can't even I was like, there's no way, how could you be yourself, sir, like you are Denzel motherfucking Washington, mother fucking Washington.

So he's just talking to me Washington. Wow.

Just watch his Sydney.

You know, I didn't mention my last name until at the end of the night when when he drove me home.

Okay, let's go back.

So you're there. People are all over him. He got on a tracksuit. What color is the track suit? Like lazy black black? That is his Okay, that's his brand, you got it? Okay, So he sounds good.

I'm looking at him and I was like, everybody says, Denzel is so feign, but I don't see it.

He looks like an uncle to me.

I didn't. I didn't see it.

But I'm listening to him and I was like, man, this just totally feels like Training Day, Like his voice like it just I'm like, that's the character from Training Day, the way he's talking. And then we go to this night club and someone tries to take a picture of him and he pulled up on this dude and snatches the phone and he's like, I said, no pictures, And it felt like we were in the movie Training Day.

I thought he was that got Wow.

Yeah, I thought he was gonna pop the fuck off And it was just insane to be there. But also see his energy and it's like, oh, he's a phenomenal actor because not only was this something real that felt like this was planned, this is not real, but he's also a person because he drove me home. He drove me home and he was just like so freaking cool.

Just you no who.

Else was in the car when the car wasn't honey, I'm the friend of the friend. I'm always the plussed one. Was he was actually driving, he drove, he was It was crazy to see him drive because I'm like, you're you're Denzel Washington. He's like, he is so damn cool, and because he knows how loved he is, and he knows how like insanely talented he is.

Man cut to us in fifteen years that that lovable and that famous. It's not gonna be the same story. They're gonna be like Marie was she was cool, but she wasn't cool.

But the way he was talking to people.

It was just like is he in is this a bit? I could not think that he was being sincere when he was talking to people.

Not sincere, Just like he's in this play and you're in a play for you do the run and so yes, you cut off when you're like not in the show. You're yourself again, but not really. It's like you kind of have to stay.

You gotta be on. You gotta be in this role. Well not the role, but you got.

To be on as a famous person, right like because everybody's looking at you, you're out, all eyeballs are on you. You have to be like this is your public persona. You have to maybe not be who you are.

I will say he eat like a nigga. I will say that you eat like what what was he eating? Just like the way he was the fork food and just felt missy. It wasn't one of those like divine, oh my god like celebrity like eating Chipriani's.

It was like, oh, this could be hometown buffet. Were you from youngers or like Mount Vernon or something they real hood up this.

Yeah, of course he was eating messy. He didn't go to a prep school.

Charm school shout out to Denzel, Hi, come to our podcast.

Care, I'm scared that he'll pull up on me.

Well, I mean, you don't live in the same place, so where are you gonna pull up on you from?

I'm outside forever Doll.

You know his his wife, his wife as well. She's outstanding. I met her when I was at the Soho house and I was not a house excuse me, so so grand. I was a hostess and she tried to hook me up with her son, who's.

Out here making movies and getting nominated for us.

But I thought she was just being nice because I was like, I'm a hostess. She was showing me pictures of him everything like this is when he was in school and he was a football player, and I was like, no, the pictures I was saying.

I was like, yeah, he looks a lot better. Now. What is his name again, John David Washington. He loved his mother. He will fight you. That's how all guys should be about their moms. On site. What hands this actually sounds like we're having He's five nine, but Sydney's five four, so I mean Adrian also five four.

Ah, So let's talk about this this so you went, can we talk about this.

You don't want to talk about this? Yes, No sounds like a no, it's a no. Okay. Well, I was going, I was trying to give you all the content, but I can't know.

I mean, I talked to Adrian last night and she's like, so, how was the episode?

What episode? The one that went out yesterday?

Oh my god?

She was like, how was it? And she never asked about the episodes? Does she? I was like, it was cool. She's like, what y'all talk about?

She already knew somebody told her or she saw the title said pop your top, and she was like.

I want to hear what this is about. Well, she heard the clip, She's like, I mean you did post. She's like, watch you and Marie hookup? I said, we would never.

Oh interesting, she thinks that we're going to hook up in real life.

That explains.

That's what she reacted to the mask.

Well, she said, she said, are you talking about our relationship? And I said yeah, I was talking about open relationships and us and I said that you talk a whole bunch of shit about the Soben relationship. But I don't think anything is going to go down okay, and she laughed. She said, and I was like, whoa, huh huh so something something already went down?

No, yes, and didn't guesp again.

Oh, Adrian thinks I'm trying to steal her girlfriend and that's why she's been acting real funny to me.

Why that's definitely not it interesting. We'll talk about, don't talk, We'll talk.

Yeah for the patre No, we'll talk right after Andrew says cut it's a rap.

I mean, Andrew never says that, but you know if he did.

It's a rap. Do you want me to say that?

No, I am hungry and I do got to get some food in me. We got a long ass bus ride to Philadelphia.

Uh that Uh.

Super excited about not the bus but everything else happening after that. I'm excited.

I will talk about I mean, I have been fancying the idea of hooking up with somebody else.

But.

I just I literally just want to get wet again.

It just has not happened. You may direct eye contact with me when you said that. I'm not with you.

I mean, I'm just I'm just want the listeners to know that you looked right at me when you said the word wet the wet again.

Looking at you and saying wet.

I'm actually the driest I've ever been in my entire life.

You know, It's just I'm a little wet right now. Clean up.

One out seven almost fell out my shair and the chairs are cloth.

That's how.

Okay, So we can make that happen. Not we can't, but like we can try to find that feeling. It's it's just it's a mental thing, yes, but it happened before it can happen again. I'm gonna look at the walk.

I just want you to know that with that short film, I didn't get wet. Okay, I don't like I just want people to know I was not moist with this other woman.

I just, yo, take a drink every time that he says the word wet or moist. I was not damp that that that would also come to But.

The feeling of oh my god, do you like me? I felt that, but she was acting right.

But we can get that feeling from someone else, is what I'm saying.

Sis right, it rite a little short film, cast it, and then hire her.

Close star. Somebody with the idea was like, yo, you should have just shoot your shot with her.

I'm like, are you fucking crazy. I'm so tired of people mean you. Other people make bad decisions. Be a good friend.

No, a good friend says, oh, you're obviously affected by this.

You felt a way.

You should have said something so she knows how you feel, or just so you can get her off your chest and be like, all right, well, if something was gonna happen, she she knows where I stand.

Dumb, It's not that's not dumb. That is how I'm living my life until I die.

Now as a single woman dealing with other people who are single, it's totally different.

I'm saying in all aspects of my life, if I feel good about something or I don't feel good, like I'm gonna say it moving forward now in all things business and you know you'd be on them email threads that we be on together and it's like, yeah, this doesn't actually work for me, so no, or I want to do this?

Can we do?

Like if you want to do something, I fact, you got to tell the person that you want to do it too or with, otherwise they will never know.

Where you got anything you want to tell me?

Uh No, if you have any questions, I will answer them candidly and honestly though, I'm here to the floor.

Is question over there in the back.

When was the last time that you got Dick down? Murray?

When was the Wow? Andrew? I mean, you know, I'm talking about life things and you're like, well.

Let's talk about Duh the Jamaica.

I don't want to call him that no more. What are we gonna call Wow? You like him? No? We only hooked up that one time. That's the last time. No, this is the other one. The shampoo bottle Dick okay, which people have.

Slid in my DMS for And they were like, send me to Duke and I sent it and I let it replay once.

That's revenge porn, Marie.

It's not revenge porn. His face is not in none of the things. It's a shampoo bottle and a duke. People are like, okay, we'll send me that. Dick's a lesbian asked before it. She was like, I'm gay, but I just want to see Hey rude. I was like, you're gay. I said you should slide in cities dms and tell her where to meet women.

Nobody, I mean the people who are message you mean, thank you so much. I truly appreciate it, but it just wasn't the energy that I wanted.

I was.

I was hoping somebody would be like, so, i'll be listening to the podcast.

What's good.

If somebody said that to you, you'd be like, I'm not going to hook up with somebody who listens to my podcast.

I feel like that would be your response. That's a fact.

But I just want the you know, I want. You want the offers, offers, you want the requests.

Yeah, I'm hot.

I looked at myself in the mirror today and I was like, damn bitch, like h I took I took nudes in Zara, And I was like, you.

Took nudes as Zara.

It was a line around the store line to get in to try on them discounted clothes, and you was getting Zara teking nudes, not news.

I had jeans on.

Oh my, I don't think i've ever seen Wow, very perky.

She paid good money for them to sit that way. I mean, yeah, wow, look at that light. Did you get this green blouse because it's cute?

I did not. Oh it's cute. Who did you send these to somebody? I hope you did. I did not.

I'm too afraid of the dark. I'm afraid that I'm I'm not famous, but it's just it would not be the look that if something got leaked.

But those pictures are cute. Remember when Rihanna's leaked nudes leaked, it was just like look at her body?

Wow?

All right?

Well moving on, well Bella Thorne in the past month, that young actress, she released her nudes before like the hacker could Actually.

It wasn't no hacker. Bella Thorne just wanted to put a tits out.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

I feel like that's what these little Disney Channel kids do now. They're like, I'm an I'm a woman now and I'm a badass.

Also I date black dudes like I feel.

Like the m league that actually Simpsons, all of them kind of go through the same It's the same thing the Arihanna's you like my hair? She thanks, just but it okay. White women in wigs just bragging about wigs. Now it's like it used to be like there's a there's a couple of pieces in don't tell anybody, But now it's like, yeah, I'm wearing a wig.

Two what girl?

By shut up Jessica. Anyway, Bella Thorne lee Hern nudes. What did they look like?

I don't actually care to look. I don't care to see what he's thinking about it.

Wow.

See that's what the fuck would That's when I'm like, oh, I'm burning ship down when somebody's like, oh, I don't want I don't really want to see what she looked like naked.

But Okay, you're not Bella Thorne.

Okay, I'm just saying he wanted to see your boob sis.

Yeah, and.

I don't know if you know the city, but he is a gay so.

And I wanted to see your naked body.

Why would he want to see Mella Thorne's baby ass body? Yeah, they're right. I'm a google the news.

I just want to see what they look like because she got like a kool Aid red hair or something.

Right, Oh my god, Marie.

I want to see if the carpet mats to drapes. I went to see some apartments this week. I went to see like two or three. They were both trash. They were on the same block. I was like, this is small and dark and it's not no natural light in here. But I did learn from one of the realtors that I spoke to that you can negotiate your rent. Did you know that the price that they posted as if you say is it negotiable.

They can take fifty one hundred dollars off a month. Look at what I learned. I'm glad that you're doing this. I'm doing this for us.

I don't know about other places, but in New York you get negotiate your rent down. I met this realtor, this black woman, and she was like, oh, yeah, I have a lot of buildings that are owned by black folks. You know that they bought them early when before Brooklyn was cool and uh for black tenants, they're willing to, uh typically bring the rent down.

What.

Yeah, So I went to see this building that I couldn't afford. This apartment was like twenty three hundred dollars. She just wanted me to see it, and I went and it was like, this really nice building. It's a brownstone in Bedsty and the owner was a black dude, and she was like, well, I'll talk to him about bringing a rent down. I was like, well, it's too high either way, I'm not paying yeah, three hundred. Why does she introduce you to him? He's single, he's hot.

He's old. It was an oh okay, Nicholas Sparks. I was like, are what in a movie?

Or what if she brings you to the apartment, gets you the apartment on her own and be like I would love to take you out.

She which, what do you mean she gets to be the apartment on her own? Yeah? Like she buys it for me?

Yeah, in my neighbor and her name, because it sounds like I need to know am I on?

Am I covered? If we break up? Can I stay there? Real questions.

Anyway, this guy took one hundred and fifty dollars off the rent. It's still too much, but he just was like, oh, is it a system and she was like yeah, and he was like, well we could do we could do twenty.

One to fifty. Still too much. Yeah, it was, which is why I didn't take it.

Fuck.

Also, I'm not ready to move into the beginning of September.

So yeah, but that's what I learned so quick tip if you're thinking about moving to New York. Also, they'll be they're more willing to take money off the rent if you look like Marie. No, if you're willing to move in earlier. So like if I was like, I'm ready to go to August first. Now they'd be like, okay, well we took off one hundred. That's what I learned, expert real estate expert. Thank you, unofficial expert in real estate.

You're hot, Marie.

I just want to get like a nice, bright apartment with windows that hot and like, you know, maybe not a lot of neighbors.

It's gonna happen. I want to live in a building with like three other people. I want to live above a pizza place, and below a pizza place that's annoying, and that's not gonna I want to live above a bowling alley, but underneath a bowling.

You want a sandwich of noise strike. I don't even like bowling, I know. I was like, what are you talking about?

Okay?

I want to live above a drag cleaners, Marie? Can we get a helicopter ride?

What let's do that? Let's get a helicopter ride? Is that a sex move? What is a helicopter like a real helicopter ride? You weirdo? Oh?

Okay, to where from where you got a groupon for helicopters?

Should I get one? Honestly, a helicopter with a groupon? I don't know.

I don't trust that pilot license. That pilot license is made in clip art. Remember clip art?

Who's the psycho?

Mari? You ma or you want to a helicopter ride? What she's trying to kill me? Y'all y'all heard, we're trying to do something different. Sidney's gonna be like, well, I got my pilot's license like a young JFK. And then what happens to us? We're gonna die at Martha's vineyard? We should go to Martha's vineyard? You think, no, I don't think it's anybody with big dicks in Martha's vineyard, Marie.

Okay, listeners who have anybody who's in Martha's vineyard with biggest penises? Can you let us know.

Andrew how you feel? But Martha, that's like small dick energy in Marth's Marie.

We've been so like everything has been about sex the last episodes, like last couple.

We spoke up top about very real life changes that are happening. So don't do that, Sis, You're right, don't. Don't don't make it seem like I'm a I'm not so shaming.

I'm just saying we we've done this podcast for so many years where we like barely talk about physical stuff and now.

Listeners, you see, I'm trying to give you all the contact that y'all want. Somebody sleeping my dms and was like, as a lesbian woman, when you talk about sitting on men's face, it brings me joy because that's what I like. What when my wife does to me? And I was like, okay, sins, you ask me to join you out like.

But also sitting.

I'm not really sure what tone you would like the podcast, like, what direction you would like us.

To take it?

A direction where we like booking deals? Okay, that's the direction.

Well you know Dick's close deals.

Dick's closes deals. What's closed deals? Dick closes deals exactly that mer that means things.

So what do we do? We have to talk to forever dog about making this merch for us?

What do you want on it? It's a count and gone.

Going and then merch just the word.

Because I feel like that, you know, we could do you know, a black shirt, white letters merch.

I'll send an email and.

Then I want like a little drawing of a pump tree. We have some more.

We have some more, I know, but I feel like we can't do everything at the same time. We got to hit them with like the classics, see how they do, and.

Then we'll move on to like sandals, cotton Gone.

And then that's merch or just saying march March invitations or just merch.

It just says merch, like a shirt that says security on the front, but just merch.

Okay, right yeah, and then underneath an unofficial expert or maybe it's on the back.

You know, we got to get our tour gear together. We gotta get the tour together. We gotta get that one Toronto show together first, then the tour, then the merch, and then then.

Y'all can get all the stuff that you want. We're here for you. Guys will be there.

Yuck.

Yeah, I'm sorry, I did. I sang that.

I know.

Well, this is this has been the episode. You know. We got real, then we got wet, there, we got drive.

I haven't. Then he sang the Friends theme.

Song, and that's like everything that sums it up.

There was something for everybody on this episode. Shout out to everybody who's been listening. I feel like I would like to say some people's.

Name, Yeah, say some name. I mean, let me, pop it the thing open.

Also, we say we know our listeners are all gay or black women. We know that there are at least four straight dudes listening, and we know that there are white women who listen because y'all be approaching us as shows. So it's just it's it's too mouth it's too much of a mouthful to say all of that.

So we say the gays and the blacks, so because that's who we are, is gay and black. So, you know, shout out to everybody. I can't find it. Just shout out to all y'all for listening. And hold on. You know, all the episodes is not gonna be some of them got to be. Well, you know this is serious.

I have a crush on somebody who's who listens to the who does comedy.

Yeah, is it one Sikes?

Something you saw Jay Jorden was on a show with wand Sikes in Montreal.

I was like, look at it. Look at old friends getting back together.

I know, it's so like full circle friendship. Romina. Romina said, ye, hello listener from Canada. Just thought I would suggest that you guys do a listener's questions sort of segment in the pocat podcast, sort of like they do at the Okay, see we don't what we don't, Well, we're not gonna do is mentioned other podcast while you're trying to give us.

Well, you could have just not said the name when you were reading it. Okay, cut that out, all right, let me start, but leave everything in that. She said. After that, Yeah, let me let me do it again.

Romina said, Hey, yo, listener from Canada. Just thought I should suggest that you guys do a listener's questions sort of segment in the podcast, like having people write their dilemmas or crazy stories and you guys give them advice. I think it would be so funny, just the suggestion.

I'm into that.

I've always been into something like that. I ask y'all to send us things, and some of y'all do, some of y'all don't. But yes, we should definitely add that segment to the show. Send us your questions about all things work related, relationship related, and life related, and we will answer them as honestly as we can.

Hear.

Okay, we got a Patty morale as because you know we on the Instagram.

We said, like, how did you find us?

She said, I saw a shout out on Alana Glazer's inst the story a few months ago, and now I can't stop listening.

You guys make me laugh during my daily commute.

Okay, Patty, thank you, and then shout out to our baby Alana Glazer for you know, shotting us out and getting some of them broad.

City hos, Patty LaBelle. Here's a message from Brittney L. Jones.

Okay, she said, Marie, I wanted to tell you I love you, which you know sis already not my brand. You and Sydney cracked me up. Hands down the best podcast. I'm constantly laughing out loud at work. Shout out to Britney L. Jones because that is how you send a message. Okay, and then we have one last one. There's many more, but we're.

Just you know, we're so this episode is gonna come out in two cool weeks.

Yeah, so these messages are going to be buried under new message.

Yes, Ashley Goodwin, Like I'm so late to listen being overseas in the military, I cannot access the pod. So if you're gonna get wax, get sugared, Okay. I don't know where that came from. Pulling hair talking about the brazil Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Okay, pulling hair is gonna hurt, but when you have hot wax, it burns your skin too, and then your coach is bleeding and it's pretty.

It's not a pretty sight.

But also get the butthole wax two that's the part that hurts the least full Brazilian every four weeks. Y'all are amazing and I'm glad I can listen now. Okay, Ash, thanks for giving us TMI. But also very informat.

I responded to her because she messaged me also and I said, Sis, who are you getting wax is for four every four weeks?

She's a girlfriend, so shout out to you. Sis.

I'm not waxing my butthole every four weeks. I haven't done it in twenty four years. Ah got him city, We gotta go. I'm hungry, I have a thing. We gotta go. We gotta go, we gotta go. All right, what do you want to leave your listeners with for the for the next week?

Uh? You know, whatever you're doing, it's cute for you. You know, it's skill for you.

I sound like it's skill for you. Like everything that you do is not for me. But I appreciate you. So that's cute for you. Okay, that sounded not that nice, but I think it's great. Andrew, it was like, it's cute for you, but it's not for me.

I would do it, but it's cute.

Well, I can't do it. I can't do it because I'm not you. So it's cute for you.

That.

Yeah, but saying it's just say it's cute. Whatever you're doing, whatever you're trying to do, it's cute. Even that seems a little condocend. I won't say it's cute, it's cut for you.

Okay, Wow, Andrew.

Do you have anything you want to leave the listener? Andrew, those shorts coming to.

You for you.

I hate you.

I love that you're following me all the people. There's some new followers, and I love.

Andrew says, sliding his dms and keep following him and send him dick pics. He said, it's too many of y'all listening and commenting for y'all not to be following him and sending him dig pics. Yes, he said, he said. If your face saying cute, but the dick is cute, send that crap. That's what he said, he said, it's cue for you, but I don't want your faith for you?

And then what am I? What am I uh leaving y'all with?

I don't I didn't have anything when I started this thing around the room I saw.

I'm just gonna say the first thing apartment in my.

Mind, and that is Uh, It's okay to not like what you do. Sometimes it's completely okay to like have a passion and some days wake up and like not really want to do the thing that you you're that.

Is your livelihood or is your passion.

Take a break, sys step away from that job or that relationship or that baby. Okay, drop that baby and go do something for you and then maybe come back and you'll have like a renewed sense of self.

I mean, come back to the baby, don't you feel like you must, But don't drop the baby. Put the baby down safely.

There's a video of.

The bride getting ready to throw her bouquet at a wedding and this woman has a baby. And when the woman throws the bouquet, she dropped the toddler so she could try to grab the bouquet. It's hilarious. I'm gonna try to find it. I'm gonna put in the stories. We love stuff like this. Shout out to all the people who try to google chworking at an abortion and didn't find it.

Apparently there's more than one video, of course there is.

The one that keeps popping up is not the one I was talking about.

But we uh we jadoor y'all for listening.

Obsessed and jador y'all for listening to me also, and you know, have a great week.

Yeah, have a great week. I'm so hungry. That's what it is. Okay, we're going to chick check.

Bye guy forever.

This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Baham, Joe ccilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Foreverdog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.