Let Go, Let Klarna w/ Jake Cornell

Listening to mess Hello, Hello, Hello, ring has sprung?

Oh it was it was too nice today. I was not prepared.

I was not prepared.

I literally was like, oh I did I.

Did ask for this, but I'm not. I'm not.

I'm not sorted yet.

You're not ready, not sorted for the nice way, Leg's not shaved, no toes is giving Jurassic Park.

Yeah, yep, I thought I had more time. I mean, you do, because this is fake.

It like gets warm and then it's back to get get your shawl back on, get your.

Call, you know, just the season to spend more money for sure.

Truly, you know.

I went to look at a couch a couple of weeks ago, and this is my mess. Okay, this is actually mess for the podcast listeners because I walked in and I was like, oh, I really like this couch, but I don't like the price. So I'm like flirting with this lady who's like the CEO of something, this something CFO and I'm literally I'm flirting with this lady.

I'm trying to get her to give me this couch for free.

And uh, you know, I was with this guy and he bought me a sixty dollar candle, just to give you a price point of, like what the prices are in there?

Okay.

And when we were walking out, this girl was like Marie and she holds up her phone and she was like, I'm listening to mess right now.

That's crazy.

I love you guys. Yay, Well you work here.

I work in the marketing department. And she said, are you trying to get a couch? She goes, I know that you're you just fired your interior designer. And I was like, actually she quit, but thank you for listening and changing the narrative. And she was like, yeah, if you want, I can send your information to the marketing department. Maybe they'll, you know, maybe they'll what she would like this m hm. And I was like, yes, send them everything, send them my materials. Anyway, that was a month ago.

That's crazy.

I don't feel bad for not remembering your name. But she was so cute, and I believe in you. I believe that we can get this couch to me.

Make it work. It's gonna happen. Oh yeah, yeah, let's put that in there in the Messy universe.

Yeah, I mean on the printer, on the prayer list. You know, you know, obviously get you the couch. I need some curtains. So if they got curtains there, I'll take that as well. I don't know if I saw curtains at the place, but okay, curtains you want, friend, I'll can choose.

I got some new linen curtains, Ralph Florence.

I would love, you know, real plush plush.

I don't want to black out, but you know I wanted for blacks for the black people.

Well they go to Ralphlaor and they're gonna say black.

Yeah, Emery's clocked in, She's on.

You see, I gotta be hot. I'm trying to get a new cout.

So, yes, Sidney, what is your mess for us today? My mess I get. You know, I'm addicted to ubers. I keep just spending all the money that I'm making from, you know, working and doing my jokes.

I'm just putting your right back into uber capitalism. Go to hell. So I get in an uber. I'm feeling good.

I'm ready to you know, sit back, relax. Guys like oh hello, you know driver, Yes, hi, you know, because I don't want to be rude, because I'm trying to get that grating up, up, up up.

I'm trying to I'm four point.

Six one, four point one. I would love to be a four point eight. It's still it still hasn't changed. It actually went down. So I'm saying, hello, hope you had a good night. Blah blah blah, da la la, and I'm trying to cut it. He's, oh, yeah, you smell good. Telling me I smell good. You know, something about the things that I've been wearing. People tell me smell good.

That's great.

And then he's like, oh, you know you you live over here. I'm like, I don't want to. I didn't want to tell him. I'm like, no, I don't live over here, you know, visiting your friend. He said, oh, where are you going to I said, I'm going to work.

He said, oh, you go to work.

It was late.

It was late, so he was you go to work, and I was going to the village. So, you know, he obviously thought I was a street walker. Clearly, you know, I have to have to be selling couch. Can't be telling jokes, gotta be selling ass. And so he's like, oh, are you tired? You know you take a nap. First of all, take a nap car and the driver says, take a nap I'm up, he said, taking Oh yeah, fully up, fully fully up.

Then he's like, oh you want you want, you want music, you want good music make you feel Yeah.

No, no, no, he started, No, bitch, let me tell you what he starts playing, or you'll pay for us.

I said, oh, I have to.

I have to tell all my friends to hey, I'm not getting out this car, but if if I go missing, it's because of the guy. This is what he starts playing. He starts this, man starts rain, rain sounds, bob music.

You know what I just I think it's rain sounds. That's him peeing in a bucket.

He was in a white Toyota Siana. I took a picture of him. He then he rolls up the windows. I was like, oh, he's he's definitely putting some kind of what's his name, dandelion, some type of solution to make me pass out.

And and you know I'm a.

Narcolectic, so I'm like it did he did he put something in the car?

Am?

I just died like I couldn't tell. So I'm fighting for my life.

You're my car.

I'm fighting for my life.

I'm texting, I'm texting my I'm talking texting my girl. I'm like, hey, this guy asked me if I want to take a nap in the uber and now he's playing this music.

I sent her that.

She's like, send me his information. I'll kill him.

I'm like, come on, john Wick.

I said, by the time you get here, he could just go for another country and I'll be dead. So messages.

I stayed in the car because I was like, he gonna he gonna he ain't gonna run.

Me out of this car.

I'm gonna stay up. What are you gonna do? I said, I could fight.

I got these hills, all types of random things in my purse. I will fight for my life in this in this car.

I could fight. It's hilarious. I truly can't. Oh my god, Oh my god.

I was.

I said, if this happens, I was like, I should go live right now, just in case he does pop up. But he started playing other music too, like music like from the Lion King.

It was it was crazy, like the Circle of Life.

No, but it was music that could possibly be in the soundtrack, just the instrumental, not the actual.

He said, she's black. Let me play this song. Yeah she no.

If you started playing the hyenas now that I'm like, you know what, You're going to lose your job or I'm getting your bad numbers.

All that badge no badge number? That was my mess. I should we bring in August?

Yeah, be our guest ring Ergus Uh, oh my god, a pillar of our community. Just a philanthropist taking over tikes hawk, I mean videos upon videos doing the work, doing skin, glowing arms just visible or give it up for Jake Cornell's in the building. Hello, Okay, what is so funny?

You are killing me? You're killing me. I was like, what I'm praying for your couch. The thing is, when you buy a couch, it still takes three months, so getting it for free might really be a long haul for you. When you order a couch, they say, all right, well think about it like after but money's out of your count, but you are. You have to think about it for it takes a long time.

Oh my god. So I mean I'm gonna hold onto my current couch couch.

Until they send until they until they send it, like here's your tracking number, and then you gotta wait too many.

Even then they're shooting it from Denmark.

Yeah, she's international, so you have to order him to get the good stuff. They're making it good up there. Yeah, that's great for the good products.

Good quality control over there, and they're happy when they make the furniture.

So that's and they have health insurance and anything goes wrong. It's really they're covered on all basis.

There's no tears on any of the cushions and stuff. Yeah, okay, And so people who are making the couches got all their teeth good for them.

Yes's great. I want that. Yeah, smell good. Probably.

What would you do if you were in an uber and the driver was like, take a nap?

I'd be like that. I mean I'd be like, do I look bad? Like dude? Do I look sleepy? What's going on there?

So the thing is with gay man obviously not fearing for his life, I must look like shit.

I mean, you know, I have my gig guy friends have had sex with their uber driver in the uber most of so I think it'd be a very different situation if it happened to me. It's not for I haven't done it. I haven't done it, but I've heard all Hey.

Hey, no judgment, you know, listen, you don't.

I mean, if you want to pop off in a black car, I'm not mad at you.

In a black car is the way?

In the black car it has to be.

No, and not in somebody's mother's van.

No, I'm not in a Sienna. You can't be doing that in a Siena is not sing that needs me in an escalator.

Yeah, if you're giving it up, escalate.

And I don't want him to wear a tie and wearing a black suit.

I'm trying uber shuttle for the first time tomorrow.

What's that sounds sad?

Bus I know it's it's a sprinter van that takes you to LaGuardia for nine nine nine.

Nine dollars nine.

Okay, but how many other people it's a pool, babe? How many other people are getting picked up?

So okay, it's not so apparently it is technically a pool, but no one uses it. My friends, my friend, I've had multip people send me pictures alone in a sprinterer van. You have to just go to the pickup spot.

Where's the pickup spot?

Atlantic term?

Hey, no, that's not going.

To war to nine ninety nine to get to LaGuardia.

But it's only La Guardia, you can there's.

Another JFK leaves from City Point where the Alamo Draft House is.

Oh, that's harder to get.

That's harder to get you. But I always fly out of Lauardia because it's better. I don't want to go to jail.

Okay, but how long is it going to take you to get to the airport?

So my roommate's going to drive me to Atlantic? Yeah, because that's an easy ass you can you just roommate, just take you to the he's a meeting. That's the whole thing. It's ok right, all right.

Actually you might have just blown this whole thing up because they're listening to this on the PODYA like.

All my flight tomorrow, so this won't be up by them.

Tell that's how it is.

I will let you know.

When we do the photo. Dumb.

You're trying to be responsible. I'm trying to be responsible. Look, I'm normally paying seven because it's it's a short ride regardless. But if you've taken your own personal cards, seventy five dollars.

Oh absolutely, yeah, I feel like between fifty and seventy dollars.

Yeah, And if you're flying, if you're flying in La. The car out of Lax is like one twenty. So now you have the price of the flight. You're spending again on the cars. So it's just okay.

You do they have in Lax for La. No, I don't want to try that.

There was already. You just got to get your uncle. But you don't drive, absolutely not.

Why would I drive?

Okay?

Why would I drive?

I know, I honestly I need people to just it's okay if you don't know how to dry.

No, I think it is. I think it is.

Do not. Why justus a kind of chic. Hey, just because you have your license, that doesn't mean you can drive. And I'm going to say that I have my license and I cannot drive. Thank you for wow.

I think that's beautiful.

To No, I think that's beautiful to I really wanted the card.

The card.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's all fair enough. So we're here to talk about your mess. What's your mess today?

Well?

My mess is spending money at all times I try to be better about because I can't stop.

So you spend money messy or you're saying that spending money in general is miss Both.

I spend money messy and it feels like, there's no way to spend money that isn't messy anymore.

Everything costs money, and it's kind of rude.

Everything costs My things that try to save you money costs money. But you know what I mean. They're like, oh, you're in high you're in high interest credit card debt willake out a long there's gonna be interested on that loan. It's like, one do that?

Why would I take out a loan? No, I'm going to be in debt some more.

Why is my credit card company sending me an email at four thirty that says, hey, your payments due, and then at four forty five saying do you want to finance a car? What's happening? Why is that happening? Why is it happening?

Yeah? Or why is credit carder saying, hey, your your credit went down one hundred and twenty points. Hey, but you still have chances you can open up another account.

And that was the most abusive relationship a man is with into a credit card I'm getting. They're literally be like, hey, you could open three more credit cards. This one has fun rewards. You are in a lot of debt though.

Yeah, yeah, tell Us watched the TikTok video on how a bunch of people have taken their student loans off of their credit card statements.

They're like credit card.

Their credit report, their credit report. How do you do?

You have to? Like you have to? I watched a couple of.

Videos and I went to that experien or experience and I you had to open a dispute and be like this is Are you sure this is right? And a bunch of people said it fell off their credit report and their credit went up, the score went up.

So I tried it.

I haven't heard anything back yet. Okay, well we'll keep you guys informed.

Here's the thing.

It didn't work that like, it just it just was in the queue.

It was in the cue.

I can't tell you something. My credit score cannot get any lower than when it is. That's not true because mine is lower than yours.

Right, that's not true. Sure, mine's not. Mine's not great either, So I try not to look at of to it. There's any of you an email every week that's like, hey, whent up, Hey it went down. I'm like, it's probably fine.

It's going down because I'm still refusing to pay my student loans. And every time it's still going down, and I'm.

Like, shod pay it. You should probably just start paying. Hold on, did you pay my student loan? Yeah? It's one thirty a month, the privilege.

How dare you?

I refinanced?

So what does that mean?

I took all the little loans i'd taken out into one big loan that had a lower payment.

Oh so you just validated you. I can tell that you can sell it.

Yeah, and then I went down to one thirty. Yeah, and I'll be paying out until I'm like fifty five. But whatever.

Listen, at this point, they're not gonna get the money. They're not going to get all of it when I die.

So does Well, here's the thing. If we're claiming, if the if the if the what is it?

If?

Finding the claim is being like, hey, like, that wasn't me that took out those loans. That wasn't me that took out that loan. I don't know, not two thousand, two thousand whatever, me? Absolutely not me.

She don't even go here.

No, also, let die.

Let's really get into it. The building is still standing, they don't need my money. Is the building getting repossessed?

It's not.

No, it's still standing. So what what are you're knocking on my doorwall?

Technically you barred it from the US government and that building is not still standing, so.

Plead on that. But the US government doesn't pay is dead.

Yeah, the t.

Leave me alone.

They are forgiving them. I was like, it's over, Yeah, I can have no one's go to pay these back now.

Right and now. But they forgave like three people's loans.

And then they said never mind.

Yeah yeah, but now because Trump is in office, he's making sure he's like everybody.

Come paid him pay them student loans. Yeah, oh was.

You know they can start taking it out of your tax return if you don't pay it.

Well, they can't take it out of my return if I don't fileow my text. Shut up, Marie, make stop laughing at this, gibbet, No, do not laugh at this. We need both halves of the podcast. Not in jail, okay, No.

I think it could be cute. One mic on the other side of the plakorm.

We've talked about this mic is on the glans.

We have workshop this and I'm thinking, no, not.

For now, not for now? Yeah, okay, fair enough.

It's just like, so, what there's good debt and there's bad debt, right, Yeah, so let's just pretenn all the man is good or it's bad for me, but I'm not paying it.

Are you in a lot of debt? Not like crazy? But I'm in debt, like I have a little credit card debt and student debt. What are you buying with your credit card? It's well, I put everything on the credit card because it takes it to the points. Once I found out the points, like the air miles.

How many points do you have right now?

Why? Just I use all my points to book all my tour flights. So I'm down to So I'm down to thirteen thousand points, but I had like a hundred something. Oh but I like now I'm flying to like Chicago, Mexico, I'm flying all over. That's all on.

Yeah, that's what you're using for your credit card. You're doing a show in Mexico.

No, I'm seeing Lady Gaga. And because here's the thing, this is how I find this is how I think about money. I'm flying to Chicago to do a show, and I had I have ten days off before I do my next show in Dallas, so I'm then Lady Gaga right in between. As though she was speaking directly to me, directly in between my Chicago show and my Dallas show, she announces the show in Mexico City. Now I'm thinking, I already have to fly out to Chicago, back to New York, back out to Dallas. If I

Told city, so you're going to be eating really well?

Yes, And I put and as I told you earlier, I did put the Airbnb on. Say it with me, one, two three.

Yes, the whites are doing it. We're bringing here to the pot.

It's not just.

As well white gays. And here's the thing. I had the money to pay for it. I had the money to pay for it. The white I had the money to pay for the Airbnb. I could have afforded in that moment, but I was like, I would like the idea of this money being in my account and sixty I was just coming out a little bit over the next year because it will feel free.

Hey baby, we all have the money.

We all have the money. Some of us haven't made it. We have the money is on the way.

Yeah, absolutely, yeah forty five. Sorry in fighting you ninety, I'm like, that's net nineties out at this point. If someone does ninety, I'm like, you should go. That is a felon ninety.

If I'm getting paid ninety days after I booked a job, i forgot what I'm getting paid for.

I'm looking at my account like what.

No, I use the money already.

I'm actually in debt now that I didn't get it before the ninety days. Oh yeah, so I've already used the money double time. And by the time they get it, I'm still like trying to make up for the time they didn't give me your money. So it's like, if you are paying me in ninety days, that means you don't have any of the money. That's a quarter you're waiting for your money to give me my money.

I'm doing summer work getting paid in the fall. It's not the money's are on temperature. Everything about it's off.

Really, you're an intern, that's what you are.

Yes, pro Bana, it's I'm on Karna. You're putting me on client.

Larna.

It's crazy. I can't do the story of our lives. I'm the number one.

So how does klarna work? Specifically for Airbnb? You have the amount of money that you need for this airbu.

So this Airbnb was like five hundred dollars.

Okay, is you and how many people?

It's just me, Jake, you had it?

Nah, it just doesn't want to at all at once.

I had this Okay, I had just booked everything for my tour. So it's like I've booked all the show, all the flights, all the hotels and stuff. So I just paid a bunch of money for other stuff. I was like having a day. I was like, I've sent a lot of money today.

You do it all on the on the same day.

Could never so it's all organized?

Could I don't?

I'll be like, do I have a flight to don't to Toronto? That's crazy.

Wait, the assistance we messaged.

Spending money is massed. Maybe min No.

We just we just break it down until like the thing is is that somebody will keep emailing me like, hey, we need that flight information, and I'll wait and wait and wait, and then they'll finally corner me and then I'll buy it. And then the next flight they're like, hey, what about this other flight?

And it's like, oh my god, I just did all this one. I just did this first thing.

I have to rip the band aid off like that long band aid. I sit down, I do all the flights at once, and all the hotels good for you? Oh okay, And then I looked and it said it was I went to check out. I went to check out, and I was like, oh, I could just put it on Klarna and then this is this won't feel like I spent this month that amount of money today has

So when you do Klarna, don't they put like it.

Was sixty dollars extra for the whole thing.

Yes, Like there's what do you call it?

Interest?

Interest?

Yeah, there was sixty dollars interest on the whole thing. So I went from paying five forty to six hundred mm. But that split up again, game ath, that's split up. That's sixty dollars split split up over twelve months. So that's five dollars months.

You're paying that twelve months, Jane, you're better than that.

Tell me that fifty a month doesn't feel free? And now I have a free Airbnb? What are you guys? Mad at?

I'm not mad.

I'm just like baby, I'm entertained. Yeah, I'm sure Clara is laughing too. They're like twelve months, twenty bundles.

It felt free? Well, that's like people who don't. I thought it sounded fun. Doesn't hurt my credit score. I was like, no, let's do. It'll feel free. It'll make you fel a little more cushy. I'll buy us Dominoes and we're on the road.

You did get us dominoes?

When?

Because I got it on Karna? Yeah? You did.

Because he is sitting in the account.

You got us to pizza. You can put Dominoes on Karna.

Shut up. No you can't. No, you can't.

No, you can't. If you put what's the enounced like two weeks ago, you can put Chipotle on Karna. I'm not there.

I'll tell you, Hey, hey, aliens, whenever y'all want to do that Independence day, I'm ready take us, take us up, get it, take last, and.

Then just give me, give me a six month heads up.

But I think that's kind of if you can how you should be looking at spending money because like the.

World is gonna end. That's my thing.

Either they're dropping a bomb on us or the aliens are coming, or.

Or my world's gonna end at least you know what I mean.

Like what, So it's like, do the stuff, spend the money, like look good doing it. Hey guys, I know y'all are saying all this stuff, but I just got my tooth.

I need to be thinking about the future. I can't.

Why did I waite so long to get this tooth just to know, oh, this shit is about to end. Yeah, but you're gonna gone without the tooth. Now you're going to die in style with the smiles.

To be close you you really want to be when you went mouth close? I will not do you want to be when the aliens find us in a million years?

Do you want them to find your skull and be like? All right? So she was missing a tooth, like you want to have a phon.

Doesn't matter at that time, it doesn't matter. You don't have a mittle set for each teeth.

No, I want a false set for that.

But I have teeth.

They don't even have good dental Oh you guys are extraterrestrial, but you ain't got no teeth.

Sounds like you're.

Behind know them aliens find your skull first they think, oh, that the humans had these many teeth, and then they find that like, oh no, she was just kind of bust it up. That's embarrassing. That's embarrassing.

Their podcast talking about miss You think the aliens have a podcast?

I think they do.

I think they have whatever we don't have. Do you think they have like podcast?

Bros. I couldn't see the aliens doings. No, I don't think they have a masculind like that and reach the level of advancement to get to other planets that you know what I mean?

Women, yes, and you know what they're women that have ADHD and that's why they haven't taken over yet. You know, they were like, oh, I was going to do it, and then you're like, you.

Know what, Yes, I think I'm going to make a computer.

Maybe there's.

Maybe there's just a really good space mall between all the aliens and us, and they'll just stop off there and get distracted.

And that's why you guys are missing it. They said, ew the ghetto.

They said everything the light touches is ours, and that we don't want.

The light doesn't touch that. They're like, I do think every day more and more I think that where a Sims being played by like a thirteen year old boy. Yeah, I think that's more and more of what makes sense to me.

It feels, it feels scary.

But also it's like the more I know about what's going on in the world, it's like the more I should be like, well fuck it, let me just But now I'm like, actually, but what if that's not the case, what if things are not ending soon.

I don't want to be that person that's like, well, I gave it all. I gave it all up.

They did it much. Here's my thing, because none of us really grow up with a ton of money, right, I'm like, no, I didn't grow up with money at all. Like I feel like it. I feel like that notion of like save you money, save you money, save your money. It's like Okay, well I don't make that much money. I don't come from that much money. And so it's like it's like, no, I want to go make a bunch of money, you know what I mean. I don't want to be frugal. I want to be rich. Like,

But the rich do stay rich because they don't really spend their money, but they have so much to not spend.

Right, they always leave that part out.

That's very true, Jake.

I don't want to be messy. Now you mess be messy.

But like you guys, you got some numbers on TikTok. Yeah, so so you say you, I mean, you're doing cloria but like I didn't even getting deals. Now, no, you're not.

You're not in a creative Wait, I was being honest. I could afford the area. Was like, this is fun.

I need to check the numbers.

Wait, this is what.

No, can't you're doing? Well?

We were, We were We went to a show and we were in the hotel and they recognized you.

They recognized you, and they recognized you.

They recognized both of us. But the only brass thing was I was holding a box of dominoes.

And then they took a picture with me and you could not even see me. It looks like a shadow.

But yeah, they were wasted.

Jump.

We were staying in a hotel with a big wedding. It was they were real bombed, but they weren't a good time.

If you're not blackout at a wedding, even if it's not yours, are you at a wedding?

No?

I will the couple make it if if I don't think the wedding counts. If it was a cash bar, I'll tell you that. Who is doing that?

A colorna bar?

Who is colorno bar?

At the wedding, somebody was talking about how they had like a no no alcohol wedding, and I said, we are not showing up even you're person. I don't want to be around that. That's weird because the guests are going to be miserable.

Miserable. It's going to be unless everyone you know is sober, or like the vast majority of your people are sober.

Hey, if we're all sober, we don't need this wedding.

Let's just let's go down the city.

Yeah, just lope.

I don't disagree. I don't disagree. Cash bar is. It's like, do you hate us? I know, I know like you.

I don't want to be like, hey, you don't have enough money to get married, but you don't have enough money for this event.

You sure don't.

Yeah, especially when it's like les people. If you do a big wedding with a cash bar, it's like, oh, you had two hundred people that you couldn't whittle down to get it to fifty that you could do open bar for right, because you could have done it a different way. Everybody does.

Everybody doesn't need to. Everybody doesn't like two hundred people. Everybody doesn't need most people don't none of that. No, we we have to. We have to scale back.

We all don't want to be at their wedding and that wedding is lasting the whole weekend.

Maybe you could cut it down.

You can cut it down. It gets complicated because when you I feel like when you get married young, it's like you haven't gone out and made all your friends yet, so you still have to invite all the family because it's like.

That was, Yeah, your mom's like your aunt's niece, baby's cousins, the babysitter.

I'm going to be in like my mid to late thirties. By the time I get married, probably knock on wood. But it's like but it's like, it's like some of those people haven't talked to in twenty years.

Oh, they're good, they're not coming.

They're not coming.

You said they're dead to you. My most of my family's dead.

So there's that. There's that. I took it down. I'm sorry.

No, it's all invite them because that's weird.

They get a little picture on that table like, okay, we don't have you don't photo the dead family table.

You don't have the have you never been?

Have you never been? Have you never been? My favorite thing the wedding when you're when you're at the wedding and there's the table for the dead relative photos and someone puts their present on it. They think it's the gift table.

No, I have not seen that. I've not seen the dead relative table.

Wait am I not? You've seen you see the dead the dead? Is it a New England thing? No, okay, no, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. But the people who gifts on it were like, gifts are over here?

You said, no, No, these two pictures and my grandmother and my grandfather. Yeah, no, don't.

Put the Yeah, but you don't put the thing from.

William so Noma. Please don't move that to the side.

Where do I leave my envelope full of cash? You can leave that on grandma's face.

She would love that. Wedding wedding residentstries. But you want to talk about spending money masks.

You do that, yes, because it's people have stuff on their registry that you be like girl.

Now you know y'all not this classy.

No, that's the real tree because you have to play tame. Why are you what you need these plates for? Yeah, you've been living with the guy for two years already. Why do you need a whole new set?

Because we need new plates. You need but you don't need this. You don't need produt plates.

You know what I mean?

Hey, we're going, we're hey, we're we're spending a lot of money on this wedding. We need some like return.

I hear that to get I hear that. I guess that same energy when you see my registry.

Let me tell you that if you have if that's how your registry looks like, you better have an open bar. You better have a bar and a high end registry.

Yeah, yeah, that's that's that's rude.

That's really honest.

Klarna should sponsor the whole thing.

I feel like you're really dogging me for putting this airbamme on Klara. I just thought it was fun to have six hundred dollars same egg now for a little bit longer.

Hold on, wait, you know what I did, drag Let me let me give you something that I did. Okay, last year went to Puerto Rico on Klara. Yeah wait, wait wait, did not have the money I did.

I did not have them.

I was waiting on three direct deposits, three and I was calling them and so you know, I called you yesterday. You have that today almost in d s.

Where's my money? Where's my money?

Yeah? If the gigs line up right, and you're like, I'm making more money than I ever made in my life, but none of it's coming for the next three months. You're broke.

Yes, your cash talk about it.

There's a cash poor poor cash poor. It's that happens. That happens. And that was that was a little bit of what this says. I had the.

Money, because the thing is they'll not have the money.

I just want to let you know.

I can't stress this enough. I didn't have it.

And then we set it at a show and the girls in the front judge the fuck out.

They were like, then, don't go on the trip.

To do what be in my room sad.

And turning up. I'm going to be fake rich foray exactly. You can just go to absolutely feel better now, Yeah, I feel better.

I feel aboutter. I just want to make I'm gonna dog on that forty five again. They'll be like, you'll wait the forty other days. I'll call my agent, and my agent bake. They come back. They said that they're not forty five count started five days after. It's like, what are you talking about? Like they just it's you're yeah, I found.

That contact on this day or I did the job on this day.

Where is I'm like the federal government looking for my student loans. I'm hunting people down. I'm asking for money. It's ridiculous.

You're Sally May.

I'm calling Sally Sally May for your own money. If they're one day laid on my payment, I'm Sally May down.

Oh you should all my student loan people when they call me on D and D it goes straight. Yeah, sales and management?

You are you have multiple people.

I feel like they called me from a bunch of different numbers, probab because I think blocking them. Yeah, they'n doing nine one seven two one two. Yeah it's a Delaware number. Then, yeah, all this shit is that, Hey, babe, I don't.

I'm dead. I don't. I'm not living anymore. Please stop contacting me.

You know what's what's messy about spending money? Rent I got to pay all of his money to live here. How am I supposed to enjoy living here?

Why does it cost so much to live and.

Be an adult?

Why can I also say? Can I maybe you guys just agree with me on this? Why are people paying the amount of money it costs to live in New York City to and then doing it inside luxury buildings that you would like never want to leave? Like why are you paying so much money for this building that has like an arcade, a library, a pool, a gym.

In Connecticut are not the same, Like you need to be in a building in New York to get that experience of New York even if you're not really doing.

But they aren't New York people either, and then they're not we're not getting that exact.

They're not New York people that live in those buildings.

No, they're like overland ground.

Yeah.

I went to a friend's house.

She lives in like a nice luxury building, and I just spent the afternoon with them, and I said, damn, should.

I moved to Boston?

Oh that's how you know? It's crazy? That is not.

Yes, our building is it's so beautiful, thinking you should move to that nice But also everyone that you need.

To check, tell them to check for a ghastly.

I'm saying the luxury building was so nice that it was like this is the lie.

But everything you need that in Boston because otherwise you're living in Boston. This is my point. I'm in New York. I don't need a luxury building. I'm in a luxury city.

WHOA, No, you're not. This is not a luxury city. This is this is the streets. We are literally in the streets.

Culturally luxurious, culturally luxurious, culturally yes, we are rich.

Everything else poor.

So therefore, if I could get a little door man that's kind of sleeping.

Yeah, it makes it's like safety I'm talking about.

It's never about safety. Move they are.

I never feel secure about anybody who's at the front because, let me tell you what they're doing.

They are here. They are here. You're like, hey, they are on the phone. I'm here, they're here for twelve Yeah.

But I mean, I will say luxury building, package room package packages don't get stolen. Like that's not true because I'm on my apartments group chat on WhatsApp and they're.

Like, hey, do you know about this package? I get it every I said. They're like always messaging like I think someone took my package. But then t ups they'd be getting the apartments wrong and they just be dropping people stuff.

I had somebody stuff. I brought it right back down. I said, this is not mine.

I I live in the basement. I found a building one the basement. You spend in my apartment. The backyard. You guys have been there, Yes, you've been there. Wa backyard. It makes it seem it's got it's got windows. It's not underground, it's like whatever, it's garden garden.

Yeah.

Yeah. My point is I found a package on the fourth floor. You order package, my package. Oh yeah, they don't care. No, they'll put it anywhere.

How did you know it was up there?

My?

Uh? The super texted me. He was like, he was like, I think I saw him go upstairs. I was because I texted him be like where's this package? And he was like he was like he walked straight and went straight upstairs, went uptairs on the four four. Oh you don't try What do you mean? Track? The guy?

No, track like when it says it's about to be delivered, like em them and mamma. When you they sometimes they message you and be like, hey, your driver's coming, make sure you don't have any pets or whatever. Sure, I'm tracking and knowing they're coming right now.

I'm not tracking though, I'm not tracking.

I'm not that diligent. There's too many things going on. I can't be on it.

Oh you're busy, Okay, cool, that's yeah.

I'm trying to keep.

Man.

I gotta, I gotta takes.

Of my building aren't labeled, so they just hit everybody's buzzer.

Don't have a buzzer, so it's like that's the.

Well, you know, a buzzer.

He was like, I'm going upstairs. Yeah.

Now, question, are you spending more money online?

Are you doing it in real time? I'm a person spend there. It's all because I'm not that Oh I'm all.

Where are you going to spend money?

Yeah, I'm I'm going to I mean like it's we're entering like the really dangerous season because it's like because again also we don't have real we don't have like normal jobs. So it's like I can meet a friend for lunch. Oops, a hundred twenty dollars you know what I mean? Like, oops, you know we had a cocktail whatever. Oh, that restaurant is near a store we like. Oops. Now I'm walking around New York City with a shopping bag.

It's like, oh, oops, these bags are heavy.

You gotta get a car, Yeah, get gotta Yeah, I gotta get a car. But after a.

Day of shopping, should we get another drink? No, sure, we got to get another Well.

The most fun this is the thing. The most fun day in New York City is the day that accidentally just keeps going and going. Yes, that's the New Yorker. That's the best feeling in the world is when you met up for plans at like twelve thirty and at twelve thirty you're still going and none of it was planned up beforehand. Yep, it's the best feeling in the world. You will spend eleven hundred dollars. You got to get the car home, drop the bags. Oop, we made the

But sometimes you're not even going home. You're bringing the bags to the club. That's where co check is very imperative. You got this the four ozara mango combo at twelve thirty am.

I've gotten a drink. I've gotten a drink at a bar where I know my friends are working, so that I can co check behind that bar in their stories room, you know what I mean. Not worry about it, and then I'll go to the place I actually wanted to go to come back at the end of the night to get my stuff.

Yeah, but this is what we mean when we say in New York is the best, the best city culturally, right, there's a city where you can do that. Like, you don't need to know anybody in New York, but you bump into one drunk girl in a bathroom and.

Now you have a whole adventure for the rest of the night.

Absolutely, you pump in like you if you're out for If I'm out for drinks and I run into Melissa Rich, I'll see you in. I'll see you in thirty six hours tomorrow. You're going, do you know what I mean? You're taking out the blakes. It's like you're getting on the plane. You know. It's like, but that's the best, But that's New York. But that's spending money and it's but it's it's the best.

Yeah, summer is the best season for that. Spring summer is the best.

Oh yeah when it's warm out.

Yeah, I used to I used to love like we're black and we need light.

Yeah.

I used to love going to bathes r going there early and you're in, you're in soho dangerous danger going then intermix dropping one thousand dollars in cash, everyone looking like, oh are you a Rockefeller Like it's crazy, and then hopping and bopping around going to the club upstairs later on that night, still has your bags from Stephen Stephen, from Steve Madden.

You don't remember Stephen Stephen.

You don't remember even was an upscale Steve Madden. I don't realize that. I just always wow saw Steve Madden. Nope, it was Stephen.

Steven spelled it with a skinnier sinner.

It's a very spell. It was like Steven Stephen seven.

You know the guy guy who worked you working Seve Madden? Are Stephen Stephen? Yeah? Different and she working Stephen.

What's your biggest purchase recently?

I'm seeing Lady Gaga three times this year.

Three times?

Okay, see when you you buried the lead when you said you were going to see her in Mexico City, So here do you want.

To hear the gay math? Yes? Yes, I text okay, so I'm going with my friend Alex right. He lives in Mexico City. So he was like, I'll handle getting the tickets like whatever, whatever, Okay. I was like, okay, cool. I had told him for the first ticket. I was like, I'm down to probably spat because, like you know, like when they're talking. This was like after how my Carter trutor like went on sale. Like everyone talking about ticket prices.

Where you guys were in the are y'all sitting on her bus.

No, we're running the lights, we're running the spotlets. But no, but it's there's like a ga section behind the floor seating. So he was like he was like, yeah, they were eighty bucks, and I was like, perfect, she announces it sells out. She announces a second show the next night. He was like, I know from the first show that, like the front section is only three hundred. I was like, well, because we got the first night for eighty, I can spend three hundred on the second night, and then I have a.

Say, you're going to see her in the back for eighty and then in the front for three.

That's get in a different view. Yeah, okay, this full circle. Okay.

And I also didn't see her on her last two or three tours because I was out of town because I couldn't see them, So the money that wasn't spent on those is also going towards this, So it's actually almost no money I'm spending on Regina.

Yeah, but that was the third time you've seen her.

Madison Square Garden. Because you have to say, I'm in New Yorker. She's in New Yorker. I have to see her in New York And how much are those tickets? One?

Now? Where are you sitting for that?

So the show's at MSG, I'll be at Barclays. They're screaming, but it's no, it's like the last row, like our seats are not good. But I want to be in the sky. But MS, she's not that big. MS, she's not that big. Like, it's not it's not it's not life. It's not a stadium. It's an arena.

Right, it's not a it's not a stadium.

Not like, but Madison Square Garden is huge, big if we're in the we were in the box or wwe And I still was like, damn, I'm like I'm just.

Walking yes, sure, no, I know.

Sorry, I'm not trying to rein on your parade.

Karna paid off front hour ago.

I've moved on. You are living life. You gotta let it go.

You gotta let it go, Let go and let karma.

No, but I've spent probably in total, six hundred dollars on God, I took it, but I know people that have spent People have spent six hundred on one show. I said, six hundred and three.

Where are you sitting for Beyonce? What section you're on the floor? How much you spend four figures? Is it four figures?

Yeah?

Oh, shout out to big money players.

Give a big money, big money, big money players for Becca saying your limit doesn't.

The points though that bounces out, so you only sent I would say you only send five hundred bucks? Did you put the.

Sell me out listening? But X does not have layaway hush your mouth. They do depending on.

What is it called, like hey hey later.

Yeah, hey guys, we have lost the plot, lost the plot of everything. Just so you know, if you have an American Express card, you're not better than me.

You still use lay away exact.

Okay, So I feel like, lady, go goad. That's worth it. That's something, that's an experience. You're gonna have photos, You're gonna be a friend, You're having a good time.

Sweat on you.

Yeah, do you want me? Like last I spent I accidentally spent four hundred fifty dollars on a light jacket.

Like a wait a minute, let's unpack that sentence.

First of all, accidentally spent four hundred and fifty dollars on a light jacket?

You can do that? Was it four am?

No, it wasn't four am. It was during the day you've made this. Yeah, but can I explain why I think you might understand? I think you might understand. In the forty five minutes directly after I got a really good, really long massage, I'm dazed. I'm loopy.

So you got a forty five minute massage.

I had a half massage. Oh I have my ninette. I hurt my not I hurt my nee.

So you're literally unconscious with your phone in your hand when you got and I.

Don't do the online.

It was here.

Here's what happened. I'm so you knew it was a light jacket.

You felt the fabric.

And I put it. So here's the thing. I leave the massage parlor. I'm I mean my days. I'm like, I got I got rough. I'm like really like, I'm in that kind of like, so you can no I did no happy ending, okay, no happy ending, but like the oils are still smelling. Like I'm like in the days, I go to a store, I like near the massage parlor. I see the guy working behind the counter. He's the owner and he's one of the designers. And I'm like and I He's like.

He's the owner and designer and he is he's doing good or doing bad, but I don't know.

And he's working behind the counter.

It's like a small little boutique. Y's just him, No, it's his. There's a couple of people.

That's why the jack is full fifty. Yeah, he's literally you're paying everything.

I love him, but I.

Oh, you got the jacket because you were trying to flirt with him.

No.

So I'm like talking to him and I'm like, oh my god, this jacket's gorge I do love the jacket. I'm like, oh my god, this jacket's gorgeous. He's like, I know, we just got those in da da d D. I'm talking. I do this whole like rigmarole. I try it on, it fits perfect. We do this whole show about how it's perfect. It never once occurs to me to look at the price tag to see how much it is, because then I'll do the thing of like

You know, yes, you may rear back and bring back how much. Yes, we need that. But also I'm gonna check the price before.

I normally I am, normally I am, but I just the blood flow was off. I had just been rubbed out too hard. It was just I was not in the right headspace spent. I wear the jacket all the time.

And I may send us a picture of the jackety don't know, well the photo don't.

But let me tell you. Let me tell you what could work.

Right, what's up?

The owner was there, he's at the cashier register. Right, you'd be like, oh, I would love to, but I don't know. He's the owner. Discount you really need this?

If yeah, you really in the mind this is the thing. Is like I get my headspates where I'm like, you know what, like this is truly the mindset. I was like. I was like, I was a small business owner, queer owned. I'm doing this is a good ethical purchase. I believe in business will come back to me, not back.

Oh yeah, no, that's not my small business. Think about it like this. You're a small business, yes you are. Ye also should get.

Hooked so that can't okay, I'll wear it on stage.

I'll write it off. Now it's a business expense.

I mean, you should be riding your clothes.

Let's be serious.

Do you want their seed? Do you want their seed? I'll give it to you. I'll pass it right along.

You send me a screenshot.

What's the last thing that you bought that you regret that you had.

To pay for? What was the last thing I bought that that you were like, Actually, that's a good question.

What about you?

Oh I bought I went to this. I went to a sample sale recently and bought, Like I bought three pairs of pants, two of which objectively don't fit, like I put them on now and hold and like, these actually don't fit, like I I was so excited by the discount and the whole like the they're too big, one one is, one is too long, and like I can have it and should be cute, like I just have to go to a Taylor. Yeah, but I've waited so long to get them, hem that now they're out

Now I'm to do it for next year, so whatever, Yes, keep it.

There's one I might yeah, one pair is like it's just everything's wrong. Ass is wrong, thigh is wrong, everything about them is wrong. I just don't understand what was happening when.

They're how the sample sale people will get you.

They get you because you're like, oh my god, this is normally nine to ninety and today I could get it for right that it was like it.

Was like normally five hundred and it was like one twenty. And I was like, well, I have to. It's like they don't look good on your body.

That's why they're in this sample sale. Honey, that's why they.

Did a sample And they said, no.

No, that's why it is.

That's why they're doing it. It's like, I don't learn, but learning is hard, you know what, And then you become boring if you learn all your lessons.

No, you gotta you have to take risks. You gotta do silly stuff.

You got to you got to take a nap in the uber, yes, yeah, and figure honey out my eyes like this asdow.

I was never going to sleep.

But you know what, I do regret sometimes sometimes I regret going out to dinner with people, oh, because I'm not a foodie and like I can get something that's so small that like it doesn't really cost that much, and I'll be full, I'll be good, but then I'll go like, oh, okay. So I went to dinner with Lisa Trager, so you already know Lisa knows.

How to spend.

We should have spent the money, spend money, and she's picking places many dollars times Lisa.

Lisa has taste.

I adore Lisa's not worried about what She's not checking the price to since I need this, it's mine.

Yeah, I think that whoever invented Clarina I was probably a fan of Lisa.

But Lisa is not using Clara money and she died.

She's killing it. We literally I forgot.

We went to the steak house.

Somebody canceled on her and she's like, hey, you want to go to the steakhouse. So she had already planned to spend this money, not me. I wasn't ready, but I said, you know what, I love friendship. Am I a steak lover? Maybe we get there. Listen, we getting crab cakes, we get in, Uh, we're getting oysters.

I think we I think we got like, uh, like the.

Shrimp cocktail she's getting, you know, drinks she's getting I think martini and.

Were getting sides and whatnot. We're doing this, We're doing the surf and turf. Hey, her steak, her steak is pretty much like like her, her steak is talking.

This is how I like to No, she don't know. Lisa called me. We'll be there.

You like you, you like steak, and just this is how I want to live my life. I do think about what the prices anymore?

Do it?

Oh yeah, I wasn't thinking about the price. Oh no, no, no, no, no, said, boy is Tuesday. I'm not celebrating a damn thing. This is just how you do.

Yeah.

Well, you know, you know, everything's so good, it's melting in our mouths. And I was like, yeah, you know, we had one of these and then you.

Know that has to go with that, and you know what, you know what I had.

I did have two extra drinks, so you know what, I'm gonna get the drinks. And I'm like yeah every time and then it's like Sidy, you just owd fo yeah it.

Oh.

I love when I love when her friend is at dinner and they just saw how like move some stuff around.

They're like you know what, I got it? Yes, thank you?

Yeah, And so that's the best. Yeah.

And then after you hear that, you know what, I'm just gonna take it.

Can I say, I don't know if you guys are go with you, I'm in. I'm like, if I'm out to dinner with like a large group of people and like the vast majority of the of the drinks of the check was drinks and there's one sober person at the table, I'm usually like, let's just cover them. It makes the math easier. I'm like, I'm like, you probably say that. I'm like, they're what they paid for in

You want, and a martini's like twenty, Like yeah, they don't speak up for us. If if if I don't say anything, oh, they be like yeah, we're all splitting.

And I'm like, that's crazy. I had two ginger Beer's friend, this is not the same.

Sidney be like, yeah, that's crazy. I mean, it's crazy. It's crazy. I'm usually like, let's just cover the If we can afford to be this responsible with ourselves, let's be responsible for them.

All right, let's yeah, let's that's living. That's not me.

I mean, if you order like two lobster tails and go crazy, maybe it to a different conversation. But like I think if you're like ordering a normal amount.

I'm a sober person. You think I'm ordering two lobster two.

I don't know, maybe a lobster yeah.

Like but oh wait, Marie, what was that place that we went to that I did order X?

Like?

Do we get I forgot what I ordered extra something? But it was like, oh damn, that was good. What's that place we went to?

Oh?

We had we had extra corn the mid you were going to say, like.

The corner it's like corn, it's corn ridd And I.

Was like, do you want to get should we get another one? I was like yeah, And I was like, dag Sydney, you got a big batch.

Shut up?

And then the corn came out. I was like, let me do see you. Yeah, we should do a messages.

Read a message.

The people have something they would like to say, and let's read what it is. Damn, I've got to make a payment on my credit warm bank god so much.

Yeah there a credit card. That's a credit card. Yeah, yes, that's tough.

I thought she was dragging me.

But like, I didn't know what you said. No, could you imagine what's credit one? I was out, I don't know what credit one is.

They accepted me and I said sure, and I put in my information and they gave me My credit limit was five hundred dollars.

But that's okay, that's fine, that's that's that's a lunch with Lisa. I was out with some gay guys who I'm not like. I was in a group of gay guys that I don't know a ton of them all that well, and like it just was like kind of how the shuffle happened. One day, we're in a storm. One of them goes to pay, he pulls out his credit card, and the other one goes plastic.

We're plastic shaming a credit card, Yes, ocause it has to be hard metals, like a team.

That's rude. No, it's very use.

Everybody has the Capitol one platinum card.

That, yeah, that is hard.

I do have a hard one, but I also have a lot of plastic as well. So the person who pulled out the plastic card was it discover.

Oh that's really what it is? Is it it's discovered, you shut it down? Or is it dining dollars?

Wait?

What's that?

Those are that? Or the you know, the visa gift cards? Yo, car, I heard the scammers are using that. I heard the scammers are using people's cards getting the gift cards and that's how they're going around because it's not connected to anything.

Yeah. They're also clearing out on cash AP. I had to my depico I had two weeks ago. I had to on cash ap Yeah, for how much? Well I was. I opened my bank account and I had fourteen cash app charges all for a dollar, and I was like, what is this? And I called my bank and they were like, they get your account and then they do a bunch of one dollar charges so that you don't they don't get flagged for fraud, and then they do

Audio.

Let's put our headphones in. Oh okay, So when someone called us, wow, I hope, I hope it.

I hope it's good.

We have no HI mess okay. So friend A was planning a birthday dinner for friend B. Friend A texted and says, let's move the dinner to lunch. Does I work with you? It kind of didn't work, but I said yes anyways, already back. And then I find out later that friend A, who was planning the birthday was trying to get into the speed dating event that friend B, whose birthday it was, also was trying to get into it. You're going to get accepted into this event for some reason.

What tell us?

Is this just living mass?

Mass mass mess? Because one is it? Because my first thought is if it's if it's the nightmare I think it is. Is the getting in based on looks?

Oh you call ugly?

Like did they say friend bees doesn't have the face for it? And you still are going to go? You say you also didn't get in. If your friend says that they didn't get in to something because like they weren't told they were pretty enough, you can't say you got in.

Do but do you still go?

If it's far enough away from the house. Maybe, But what if you it's speed dating. It's speed dating. What if you meet the person that you end up dating and then you have this friend where you're like where did you meet?

And you're like, jump, Yeah, it's going to come out the lot greater Joe. Now can you pass? Can A give it to be because it's Bee's birthday?

No?

You you just didn't get accepted.

Yeah, it's not allowed. You just damn that's crazy.

But you know, you might meet the love of your life at this sp dating event.

But you can't move. But it's moving your friend's birthday dinner for a thing that your friend wanted to do but couldn't was not allowed.

I don't know how is the friend getting in anyway?

Now, well, I guess the friend who's going to move the birthday dinner?

Yeah, but my thing is, first of all, it's mess to switch the dinner to lunch.

I don't want a birthday line.

I don't want a birthday line.

I was. I was messed the second they said that that would hurt my feeling.

That's something you do with an agent. I'm going to birthday lunch with an agent with a lawyer.

I'm not going with my with my mom. Yeah, yeah, how dare you?

You're not celebrating me while the sun's up? That's absolutely not.

But the sun is not my girl. You're supposed to be my.

Friend, that's yeah. I think it's mess all around. One with the lunch, two with the fact that it's moving. I think it's tacky to move something, like to move a thing that you planned for, something you would rather do. It's like, no, you you designed this, you created this, it's your responsibility. Do you know what I mean? Marie?

Would you do that?

Well?

Would you want to postpone the speed dating to the next the next time they do it?

Would you do that?

Marie? First of all, I'm not planning anything for a group.

You know.

I don't like planning. I'm not a group planner.

Would you guys go to a speed dating event for the story?

Yeah?

You don't.

Yeah, we need bits? What do you mean why host was beginning event?

Yeah?

But you get sixty seconds to find those.

When I was in Seattle, they were doing speedating in the hotel. I was saying, did you go no? Because it was already it was like halfway through when I got there. And I was like, what's going on. They're like, you can' join it. The mess up the numbers. It was also straight. It was like straight sweet dating. So I wasn't gonna go. That's the twist. Halfway through they throw in a man temptation Island ladies, every man, you swear away, this is gonna go on one day with

The girls are like, what.

It's like traders, but there's one gay amongst all.

The I think they've done something that's this before. They just got and it got shut down.

Immediately they did it. I remember when they did it. It was it was the bachelorette. Half the men were secretly gay, half were straight. And if she picked a straight guy, great, you fell in love with the straight guy. But if you picked a gay guy, he got like or like money. Yeah, he got money, and she would absolutely heartbroken and devastated because she fell in love with the gay guy and he and he hated himself because he like fucked with this woman for money and it was really bad.

Yeah, but he got all that money. Think of all the klarnas he don't have to do. He did that for the community.

Are you kidding? This isn't like two thousand and two he won ten thousand dollars and he bought a house with it. Yeah, he was he it was a different time.

He was in a luxury building in New York.

Yeah, that he owns. Yeah, he got it on the ground floor he bought. He bought a lofton Williamsburg in two thousand and two.

I love it. I think it's important to you know, Sidney wo What would you do if that was? Oh, you know, my friends come first, So I would babe, you can't go to the speededating thing. Yeah, I wouldn't go. I would be like, yeah, but again, she might meet the love of her life that day. It doesn't matter, girl, not today. You're gonna find something else. It's gonna happen for you. It's just not here and not today, not on my birthday. Let's go, not on my watch, not on my watch, just not happening.

It's like, to go is one thing I wouldn't even tell my friend I got in, do you know what I mean? And I would lie and say I rejected.

Well, after the lunch, the birthday person is probably like what what? What else is on the agenda for today.

Of course it's your birthday. We just said the tumble of the plans. It's the best feeling in the world right and.

Now friend A is like, I have a thing? What thing?

Yeah? So if you got into something.

Based on looks, like would you but would you still go? But you're assuming it's based on looks?

What it's dating? What else could be based on?

Maybe her personality popped more on the application.

She wrote a better essay she sent the legally Blonde videos.

Okay, if you think that you got in because of your act scores, then maybe go. But if you think it's based on the look ius, he's not a headshot, Like, you can't tell your friend that you got in any data.

But would you still go even if there's no birthday? Would you go? Just be didding?

Again, depends on how far it is from a house, if you could run into them on the way, if it's in the neighborhood, if this is a small town, you're going. Don't don't get me, just you know you're going. You're absolutely going. Yeah, I'm probably going.

I don't care.

I don't I don't care as much. It depends like, did I take a nap, Like, how long is it gonna take me to get ready?

I don't know, sure, I don't know.

A lunch is just not sexy.

I would never do a birthday line.

And also this, the person who called in said, uh, they asked if it works. It doesn't really but they said yes. So nobody can actually even really make it.

To the lunch.

Yeah wait, and you don't like, oh sorry, I manna be fifteen minutes late and have to leave it too, Like that's everything about that's bad.

I hate when people have a heart out, but they show up late the heart out, and I'm never gonna I have a loose in. Yeah, it's really upsetting because it's like a memoir.

You know that you have to be here at a certain time.

Yeah, give me a long time.

I have anxiety, the.

Same thing I do it at shows. I'm like, hey, so, yeah, I'm gonna need to get up at there at nine. Show starts at a gotta get out at nine'll starts eight. I'm asking you to go up early. I'm getting there at eight forty two. I'm like, I have to actually be out of here by nine. Shit, yeah, I should.

Be on stake.

I used to make the mistake with my show that I run. I used to make the mistake of telling people like, well, it starts a seven thirty, but we really started seven forty five. Watch them. Not a single person show up to seven fifty five. But it was like Heart started seven thirty.

Yeah, doors at seven starts at seven thirty. They're still gonna show up.

At a eight.

Yeah, I don't know.

I think you do this long enough and you realize the time that it says it starts is not the time that it starts. It never does, and it's not always because of us. Sometimes the house is not all the way full.

But Marie, maybe if you thought that it started on time, you would still you still be latest. I don't know. I don't know what. We take you as your as you are. You know, I am very lucky.

So you deliver once you arrive, that's it.

I'm ready to go when I get there.

Yeah.

So like I'm like, I need time to warm up, No, ready to go from the door. Like with my bag on, I'm like, oh, what's up?

What up?

Uglies? You broke bitch?

Yes here, we need to get you. We need to get you. Hosting a speed dating event like immediately. I think that was I think that would I would.

Do it and I would drag them and then they would laugh and they'd be like, oh, I hate skinny black girls.

And they'd be like, oh, me too. That's a match.

Yeah, matches will go up. Wow.

This was fantastic, Jake.

This was fun.

Jake. Where where can the people follow you?

You can follow me at Jake W. Cornell and you can check out my tour dates at punch up Dot Live slash Jake Cornell. I'm coming to Provincetown for Provincetown Pride and staying for a week to do shows.

There's a there's a guy who owns a duck. You have he has to come to your show. The duck is called Donnie.

I have to message in you want a duck at my show.

It has anklet it's a cute it's a cute duck. It won't make a lot of noise, okay, the duck and they don't be on stage and you guys can.

Like wait just think me trying to post clips and people being like is there squawking in the last time?

Get to go viral. I beg you. It will put you on the map.

Brind Duck Heckles Okay, I'm coming to the Median heckled by Duck.

Yeah, I'm coming to the UK and hopefully Europe in the falls. So get me there.

Let people know, you know, maybe what your next big purchases or the next thing you're gonna spend some money on.

Before we go.

Oh, we're packing light from Mexico City to do some shopping over there. That's going to be. I'm going to be do some close shopping for the summer in Mexico City in a big way.

Sidney, what's your next what's the next thing you think you're gonna spend a chunk of change on.

I don't want to spend any money. I want to be gifted.

So that's my manifesting gifts. Gifting like gifting suites for sid.

Yeah, I deserve gifting sweets for sid.

Okay, guys, make sure that you send us your mess and keep reviewing us.

And Apple Podcast see you at all the live shows.

Bye Boy Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Foston is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcasts, created and hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Foston. Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Hans Sonny, super produced by Becca Ramos, Edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries. If you would like your messages read on air, please email us at mess Thepodcast at gmail dot com, or call for your messages to be played at seven six three two eight zero six five eight eight