Laptop Porn is Having a Moment

Forever.

Hey everyone, Hey, Hey Marie, Hey Andrew. How are we How are we doing?

I'm doing great. Good to see your faces on zoom again again.

I'm not going to complain this episode because I'm working on myself.

That's what I'm doing this episode. I'm going to be a better me.

Okay, wow, eck turtlenack. First, I just want.

To be I want to have a positive outlook, and I just want to smash any negativity that comes my way today.

Okay, what kind of negativity has been coming your waises?

I mean when people keep telling me the updates, it's like, sis, I already know. I know that people are dying, I know that people are broke. I know that our economy and president is trash. I know all this stuff. I can't I can't hear it every day. I can hear it, I think once or twice.

A week, once or twice a week. Since it's seven days and with this quarantine, seven days now feels like literally half a month. You only need one or two times a week to hear updates about the court, about the Coronas.

Monday and Friday, we're gonna start to start the week off.

Tell me about it. Towards the end of the week. Let me know what happened which today?

Today is Friday?

Yeah, it's Friday. Also, sorry, you want to start the week with the news and then end with the news, But Saturday Sunday, not really that much is gonna change. This's only two days have passed since you last got your update. I need a break, you know which you received.

Did you receive the news yet today?

Yeah? Yeah.

Someone, someone's our friend, Amina sent us something in the group chat and I was like, okay, thank you. They're pushing back the date, the quarantine date.

Wait when.

To March twentieth, May twentieth. It sounds like you haven't gotten your news today, Andrew.

I know I didn't. I'm getting it through Amina.

Mm hmm.

May okay, I mean yeah, that's that's what we were thinking. Anyway.

In my mind, the number that I have in my mind is June first. I don't know why, but that's just what I feel. So May twentieth is an upgrade for me. I'm like, oh, okay, I can go out before Memorial Day maybe.

But even then, even then, when they let us out, do you think we are really want to be out with a whole bunch of people.

Absolutely not absolutely, yes, we do. There's gonna be people who stay home because they're like, it's like when they the update for the iPhone comes out. There's people who get it right away, and there's people who wait a little bit because they're like, I gotta let them work out the kinks. That's what's gonna happen with this whole Corona thing. People who are itching to go home out are in the windows with their shoes tied. They're gonna

No, I'm gonna take a I'm gonna take a minute. It's fine. What's the rush. It's not like it's not like I have a day job.

I don't believe that. That's they're gonna give us us free. And you're gonna be the first person out doing six shows in one night. You're gonna be at You're gonna be at everybody's welcome back part. You are the most you are the most non stain home nigga. I know, and you're telling me, you're gonna stay well now I'm in the house.

Nigga nigga Okay, but I have a nigga, not you, Andrew, nigga.

No, but Sidney actually seems okay. I'm getting really great vibes from you. The home life is working. That's such interesting that you say otherwise, Well.

I just need to clean my apartment. That's my problem. I haven't really been working on that. I need to just like buy paintings. I need to draw, maybe like make get some pottery barn up in here.

Do you do you feel like this is what you're expected to do or is this what you actually want to do? This is what I want to do.

I want to get some arts and craft up and through Alabama.

Av you know, wow, I want to get I want to.

Get some like bougie bougie Brownsville esthetic going on.

So Society six heard you.

Some pieces? Yeah, I just just like, why not?

Why the fuck not?

You know, I don't even want to show y'all what the other side of this room look like. But I will because why not?

But ooh oh wow, oh my god, Andrew, show us your little corner friend, what's happening over there? This is cute. It looks like you're in a waiting room.

I know, it literally looks like a therapist waiting room. So I have a little like cue.

Oh I like that long mirror. Where's that from?

I don't know. My mom is an interior designer, so she just has Well that's.

What I'm saying. Send me some things, Andrew. What the fuck? Oh your one imports? Love it?

A little uh fold out table?

Oh wait, you got a bunk bed, bitch?

Yeah, I have a lofted bed. Yes, do you see it?

I it? How do people get like a good like thrusting stance from?

That's where you be fucking, Andrew.

And you know what the crazy is?

On that couch you have on, you be fucking in the ceiling.

It's usually taller men than I, and so it gets real crazy wait.

Positions.

This is yeah, it doesn't know there is a high ceiling, so it really you can kneel. I can kneel right here, said.

I can kneel comfortably beating. I gotta coat. I'm a head out, Andrew. Don't let us you have sex on the couch you're sitting on right now.

Like we do we we do, we do that here a lot and this is this is a this is a pull up bed as well, so oh work, and.

Don't know about to be pulling out? I like that, don't know about to be pulling out on that pullout?

Okay maybe.

Right now? Sydney, what is that? Is that a couch that look like it's.

Yeah, it is it's college vibes and I love. Can everybody put their leg up at the same time? Andrew wait for you five six, seven, eight. We'll look at them games your leg day? You do day like we do not?

Okay, so we Andrew's doing better than everybody over here.

I'm not totally not.

Well, yeah, let's talk about it. How have you been doing? Because we okay, well, let's give people a little bit of a high in the actors studio. We recorded one episode of the podcast on Zoom yesterday, but we didn't really get to talk before the three of us, like in depth. You know, so technically this is going to be the first real Zoom episode that this is. This is it? So Andrew, Sydney, how have you guys been doing? Andrew? What you've been up to?

I was like, okay, like the first week, I feel like a lot of people were, uh, and you know I've been I like completely deleted my hinge account, re downloaded, just to like talk to guys and like just give them time, you know, to make because I would love, I like love the attention, you know, having someone text me constantly and then they're like, oh, hey, like we're gonna hang out after quarantine. I'm like, when this is over, this is also over.

Right, because dona body, if you want to meet you in real life, I just need somebody to.

Tell you need somebody, yeah, because I'm going.

I don't think you're gonna talk to somebody that you might want to meet in real life.

No, he said he doesn't want to meet anybody, but.

It feels nice to like get good morning texts and good nights and like, oh, like if i'd like say like, oh, I'm just not having the best day, like I like a concerned a concerned man in the messages.

I think a lot of people are doing that though. Most of the women anyway that follow me on Instagram are doing that.

Oh really yeah, they're.

Talking to multiple men that they had no desire to keep me in real life. But you know, having someone to talk to and get to know and FaceTime and get a good morning text from is nice?

It's nice while we're locked up, but it's also like, yes, it's nice, but don't you feel like in the back of your head a little bit, this is just dead air? This is dead's face? This is why am I doing this?

What is this?

That?

What most of the facetimes we've been doing are Sydney dead air. You're talking to people that you haven't spoke to since Great. I feel like that's how bored we all are right now? Is I mean? You have two options, right, or maybe you have three options. You can talk to your family and your friends that you speak to every.

Day, yeah, every day.

You can speak to people that you can TBT and speak to people that you haven't spoken to since art class or home ch in ninth grade. Or you can go on dates with people that you don't know, learn something new, get to know somebody, and then they're dead to you and we can go outside.

Like yeah, I.

Think like it's like a different a couple different ways that you can do it.

I mean, I've just been talking to my friends, so you know that has been helpful. I mean I talk to Larry Owens like every day for you know, hours at a time. Sometimes you just have the phone on each other and we're using our laptops just to feel like, oh, somebody else is.

Here, you know.

But yeah, I'm not on Hinge and I wasn't good at it before this, so I just don't feel like the best of me is gonna come out right now.

But that, I think is the beauty of what our current situation is is they don't have to be the best. People are so bored that they'll take the mediocre version of you. They'll take the version that's trying. They'll be like, oh, okay, well, I mean not everybody, not everybody's gonna take mediocre version of Sydney. But I don't know the Hinge thing.

I oh wait, let's just just just get it right. The mediocre Sydney is the best of y'all. You know the people listening right now.

So okay, all right, thank you so much.

Everyone left the chi.

These people haven't been listening to you talk about how perfect you are for the last two years, right, Ain't no use is I don't know. I had no interest in being on Hinge or Tinder. The first week at the quarantine, somebody was like, uh, do you want to hang out? And I was like what, and he was like, do you want to come over?

That's so alarming to me.

That is scary to me.

I was brushing my teeth and I almost choked on my quick toothbrush and I was like, ah, no, I feel like for you to be inviting somebody that you don't know to your house in the middle of all this means that you either got it.

You got it, You're about to kill me. No, you got it, or your dick is non existent. You got it. Anybody who's saying, let's do something, got it.

That's how we.

That's how we knew who's sang let's do something. Got it?

Yeah.

If you're like, if it's somebody that you already hooked up with since the quarantine started or before it start, like you're allowed to still do it.

Okay, Marie's got loopholes over there.

He gave the city dig down and a loophole, the only person on his call with a loophole. No, hmmm mm hmmm mm hmmm mm hmmm. Yeah, Andrew, have you looked up with anybody since this started?

No, there was this guy like second week that was like it seemed like okay, Like he was like proposing an idea, like hey, like I would just like someone to hook up with during this time, and I'm like, just like one person, and I was like, yeah, that'd be okay, Like I think I'd be okay with that. Yeah, living far away, but I never met him before. And then he sent me dick pic in the morning and I'm like not settling for that during quarantine.

How didn't look like describe it if describe it with a fruit, a real skinny pair. So it was skinny on the top and sat on the bottom.

So here's the thing. He sent like a disappearing image on Instagram first of it like poking out of his jockstrap, and I was and then I just liked it. And he's like he got mad that I just liked it because I was like whatever, he just liked it to be like polite. Yeah, I didn't want to make it go crazy, and.

That is me.

I don't like when someone likes a comic that I that I put in the replies. So I'm definitely if I show you a genital of mine and you're just like thumbs up.

It was like literally his penis creeping out of undergarments like like just ahead, and I was like, what the fuck is this?

So he gave you a little mushroom exactly you should be.

Happy with this, and I was like that wasn't really and he got mad and I was like, well, how could he.

Give you a sneak peek of the dick tells me everything I need to know about what the dick looks like.

So he sent me like another one of a full a image and it was just it.

Was exactly what you thought it was gonna be.

Someone that would hither.

Trash wo Sydney. Your head looks good like this?

You like, yeah, I never really wear it. I never wear it up.

You gotta you gotta clip. You got one of them, like why girl clips in it?

I got a little clippy clip in it. I got one of them like little Duane read a little jump offs. The thing is is that it's like this is the time to let yourself go or build yourself up. So I've I'm in a conflict because I have a lace front on and we're going we're going into month one. I have a lace front on during quarantine and I'm getting dragged left and right. It's like, sis, let your edges breathe. Sis, let's see the real youth telling.

No no no no no no no no no no no, you gotta tell them the truty. Sis. Why are we telling you to let your edges breath because the wig is already puddle that once you pop, the top has already pop. Sis. We're just like Sidney. Essie's like, well, what am I gonna do with my hair when it when I if I take this wig off? And it's like, Sis, the same thing Gabrielle Union is doing with hers never is rich. She's not doing anything with her hair. Though

I I should, you know, just embrace what I look like and just be happy. But you might get a call, you might get a call to you might need to be on FaceTime with a boo thing, and I just I don't want to be in a bonnet the whole time.

You gotta you got a boot thing that you want to tell us about, sus.

No, I'm just saying, like, what if that happens? What if you know, what if that happened. Your blue things also gonna have a bonded on sis.

That's what's gonna happen or no tie up?

Andrews like, I can't relate.

I'm a head out and vomit.

You heard me sitting I said, tie a fitted sheet around your head.

I will not. It's Luke, thank you so much.

So.

Yeah, so there's that I'm trying to figure out if I should work out. That's another thing that I'm I have like a conflict in because I'm laying in the bed all day. Laying in the bed, I'm laying down most of the day, I'm gonna get bed sores.

So what's what you're trying to figure out whether you want that source or not?

Yeah?

Okay, well do you want them or do you not? This is easy?

Are you working out? Andrew?

No? I do want to point out that you're talking about being in the bed the entire day while drinking a red Bull something that would energize you.

Also, let's talk about how the fact that she's not supposed to be drinking Red Bulls, but she's been drinking them NonStop since at least nineteen ninety three.

So yeah, some people vape.

I do red Bull?

Red bull is equivalent to vaping. It's it's so not good for you.

What is it doing for you?

Though?

For me?

I'm so Andrew, hold on.

Ro I just want to point out that you're talking about laying down all day while.

Rin energy beverage. What is it doing for you? Yes, quarantine Andrew, qute and dow anyway, Sidney, Yes, what is it doing?

Answer the question?

It's doing absolutely nothing. It's just soothing me for some reason. It's a it's the security blanket.

Why do you like red Bulls? Do you like the way it makes you feel? Do you like?

It makes me feel like I'm paying attention in conversations and in while I'm watching things. It gives me a sense of direction to stay present.

I've seen you drink red bulls and be completely clocked out. What are you saying?

I don't feel that way, but thank you for telling me how you feel. Marie Sidney, I've seen you drink red bull in the studio and not and be on your phone. But what am I doing now?

Though she's focusing on the phone.

Okay, I mean, Sidney, I think there's I don't think that there's a right way or the wrong way to do anything right now, everything that we're going through is like unprecedented. This is gonna be in textbooks like this. People are gonna read about this in social studies and history class. Like everything that's happening so far, in my mind is just gonna get worse. But it's whatever you do, what you want to do at your own pace. You watch Instagram workout videos, or you don't. You go for

You know, it's so funny. There's gonna be people who were conceived during quarantine time.

And most bies gonna be ugly.

Quarantine babies are gonna be.

Hideous, and they're all gonna be born around Christmas and New.

Year's They're they're being conceived through border.

So it's just like the face gonna be lazy, it's gonna be real rough draft lazy face.

The baby's gonna look like Mickey rock.

Rock roar.

Wait.

Is that is that in nine Mickey Warrick who was in nine and a half weeks or like after all the bad plastics, I didn't see nine and a half weeks. Oh, you gotta watch this, watch it.

I've seen two weeks. Notice is that the name of the movie was Sandra Bullock.

What is that two weeks?

That is? I think it's her and Ryan Reynolds. Am I making this?

Are you thinking of the proposal? That's Reynolds?

But there's a there's a movie called two and a half weeks or two weeks?

Yeah, very familiar, Sidy finished.

Her Mickey wrote rock Rowick story.

Yeah.

Well, because I hit up Rosebud last night and I was like, girl, y'all are you and Andy? That's her boyfriend.

I'm like, I'm still having her fiance?

Oh, her fiance, that's right. I was like, are y'all still having sex? And she said, yeah, we just finished, And I said, wait, holl we just finished. I'm like, y'all are just having sex every day during the quarantine. Y'all not tired of each other? Like the positions don't change?

Like Sidny, you just sound horny and Jealousis that's what you sound like? If you had somebody to have sex with every day, you would be having sex every day, but.

Not I have sex every day. I'm sorry, that's not my brand. I don't have sex every day. I would have sex, you know, three times in one night, and then I'm good for a couple of days and then the next time. Lesbian sex is different. I just want you to know. It is draining. It's so much emotion built up. It's not just physical.

Every lesbian does not have sex the same way. There are lesbians a lah Lean away that do what they want and do who they want, and then they leave. They're future Hendricks lesbians.

To the listeners out there, to who's lesbians? Let me know how you'll y'all sex? And during the quarantine?

Is it?

Is it passionate?

Is it?

Like?

We don't?

This is the quarantine strap born we got so like it's not expensive. It's like makeshift. You made it out of some shit.

It's a zucchini squash.

Yeah, Like what are y'all doing?

Let me know?

Because I just feel like, ugh, I wouldn't be able to get into it. Like I'm horny, but I feel like if I actually had sex, it would be bad.

Why Well, with that attitude, it's gonna be trash man, because I'm restless.

You know, it's like restless energy because you're drinking.

Red bulls on the count. I'm restless because you an energy drink and not doing she.

And when you get out of here you think the sex is gonna be good or no.

I think it will be great. I'm looking for just summer.

If we get out for summertime, it's gonna be wild, crazy, messy because people are like, well, I haven't done anything in a month. I'm just gonna go balls to the wall do everything that i've Yeah.

I really think like the gays are going to create new STDs. I believe, do you?

I don't get back locked in the house.

There's gonna be something new.

Two weeks notice with Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant. Oh I did not see, but I thought that I knew it, But I knew Sandra was in it. Unprotected sex, unprotected.

Gay only ones, only ones with someone that I like plan to do it with, you know, not like going up car and meeting someone a tv T. Yeah, a TVT.

Ah seeney. Unprotected sex.

I mean, nobody's putting condoms on their fingers. Who's gonna finger me? So I'm always unprotected.

Have you ever been with anybody that has used like a dental dame or anything?

No, never, nobody. Nobody's using some ran wrap next to my kitty cat. That's just not happening.

No kling rap for the couch.

No, it's it's just like either you either you trust it or you don't. You do the taste tests.

What's the taste test? This walk us through.

You take a pinky and you hit it from the you go inside, and then hit it up up to the to the war the clid is. You knock it a few times and then you taste it at the end and if it tastes like uh no, no, no, if it tastes like stainless steel, wait, ste is good or bad? Stainless steel is no bueno?

Well, I don't want it to taste like white refrigerator. That's what mine says, like white refrigerator. Down she got a light refriger baby, who is the ghetto?

I mean, I don't like. I don't like when people were like, oh uh, someone tastes like water.

That's just water.

That's not real. Okay, that is real. Some people taste have a little as midcheet of something.

Yeah, water with salt in its pasta water since yeah, you know.

It tastes like a red bull tastes like, uh, what's the energy potential energy?

Because sometimes it's a little chalky, you know, it feels like school talky.

No Sidney, chalky is bad. No, baby, I'm kidding.

I'm kidding. But it's just like it's okay if it has like a little taste to it.

Yes, I agree, but white refrigerator is not the taste that we want anybody's coach to have.

Uh okay, but wait, did you guys have a highlight of the week though, Because that's what I think we should get into. We should always have one thing that happened that's positive that you're grateful for that like lifted your spirits something.

Okay said if you want to kick us off, friend, you got something you want to.

Share, I will say that someone that I think likes me, you know, wrote on my page and it was a cute comment and that I was like, Okay, thank you.

I like that high light of the week.

I like if you think someone has a crush on you, or you have a crush on someone and they write on a post, then you're like, I need to make more pictures or videos that are just like this to get that attention.

Oh wow, yeah.

You don't agree with me affecting what's on the grid.

You don't agree.

Someone was calling me, oh no, what you're still here?

Oh okay, you're screaming oh no into our faces.

I can't find you guys.

Okay and click on it.

Andrew, Okay, Andrew, you're such an asshole. Do you have anything, Marie that you're you're happy about.

Highlight of the week. WHOA, I had sex this week and it was fantastic.

Give us the blow by blow sis the week.

He came to pick me up in his car. This is somebody that I had sex with like two weeks ago. Yeah, weeks ago. So it's like we've already You've already done this and I've been self quarantining. He's been self quarantining. So you know, he came to pick me up. You know, he gave me a look massage. Uh it was the head was cute, the sex was good. Uh, she squirted it. She came, she had a great job, and then she got dropped off.

But you, first of all, you always squirt, You always come, So it's not like this. Nothing always come.

Like I've been having sex for X amount of years and I don't always come and I don't always pork.

But I'm just saying, as of recent you're you're doing well sexually.

Sure, but I hadn't had sex in like, you know, a couple of weeks. And you know, it was like riding a bike, a beautiful bike with a people anyway, highlight of the week. And then he gave me ice cream and.

I went hole, he got to ice cream free. Oh he likes you.

Yeah, I think you do. Do you like him? Do you like him?

I like him?

Highlight of the firelight, Sidney. You know that I like him.

I mean, Marie, I've known you for X amount of years. So does Andrew. And we don't hear you say you liking someone.

You were on the phone yesterday and I told you that I liked him.

And yes, you have had this conversation here. I don't think you've ever said that you've liked someone.

I have the guy, the guy that I date, the guy with the shampoo bottle, shampoo bottle dick.

I said I liked him, but I don't like him. Remember that's not the same, Marie, that's not the same.

I like it, but I don't care about him. But yeah, I look this guy. It's cool. It's fun until it's not.

But you know, you throw that until it's not in there, and it's just like, but it's it's great right now.

So it is great right now. Uh, he's not having sex with anybody else. I'm not having sex with anybody else on the record. Well right now?

How often are you seeing him?

Well?

I just saw him two days ago. I might see him today. I feel like, why not? You know, I don't have to be up early for the podcast tomorrow.

God, I'm so happy that.

But we have not discussed any of these things. I'm just saying I'm probably gonna see him again in like the next couple of days.

Are you going to cook dinner for him?

I'm a cook dinner for me, and if there's some left, i'll brando his house. Look, I'm cooking dinner for myself.

Sush Andrew over there, salty as fuck?

What's going on, babe?

Highlight of the week?

Not that my we I've been watching the people clap every day. I've even hearing the people clap every day at seven.

I heard it yesterday but nobody was coming down the street.

They just clap, So they just clap at seven. Yeah. Uh, and so I'm looking into the middle of a city block, and so I see everybody come out onto their balconies and windows other windows and stuff and going out into their backyards. And I think that is cute and I like it every day at seven, what do you clap? I don't clap. I'll do like a little like a little one. If someone like sees me watching, you know, oh yeah.

They come down you're black and clap.

Bro you know where I live, you know where they not even quarantine and over here, So so you know, you Sydney. I'm just keeping it real.

Well. I mean, maybe you should start a friend.

Maybe you clap yes, and they'll boom me over here.

It's what you.

Clap in back.

It really did catch me off guard the first day it happened. I was like, what the hell is going on? I didn't get the memo, but the clapping, and so all of a sudden, everyone's clapping. It's insane and you're just like what I literally thought it was like over I thought like they were like, oh, you can come out of your houses and everyone just clapping, And I was like, what's the first thing.

You guys are gonna do when we get out? First? Thing you're gonna spend your that first dollar on when we get get our freedom.

I want to get some really good sushi from Sugarfish. That's my favorite spot.

This is coming from the person who says she's gonna wait, you're gonna go straight to sushi?

No, what what's wrong with that?

We're gonna go straight to fish?

What's wrong with that?

I'm just saying, Sidney, have of all the things that you could eat coming out of quarantine, you're just gonna go right to sushi. Love it. Love that for you.

Okay, sushi?

What kind of rules we're gonna get?

I love a crab crab hand roll.

Mm hmm, that's my favorite. Okay, Andrew, what are you gonna do? What's the first thing you're gonna spend money on when you get outside?

I really just need to do laundry. Have you guys been doing laundry?

I've been wearing clothes.

Yeah, just like what do you need to go do laundry for?

I mean it was like my sheets and my towels and everything.

Oh yes, that is yeah.

And I'm like, I just fucking want to do that. But like, I only want to leave if I'm going to the grocery store. You know, No, I only want to leave if I'm going to the grocery store. I don't want to also go to the laundromat too. You know, so cloes off?

What is strapping your clothes off an option?

I guess, so it is what your parents doing.

They're all in separate homes within the same town. My sister so yeah, And so they're all in like the same town, so they can all, like my entire family is in a town in New Jersey. Uh, And so they're able to like meet up with each other and go for walks separated, but then they all can go back to their respective partners. So they're really just living it up.

They're going out and standing six feet apart and taking walks.

Yeah. And they just closed the beach in our town. So they just.

Closed the beach.

I'm trying to figure out why the beach was open.

It's like so many people were walking on the beach, oh okay, yeah, and they weren't observing the social distancing and everything, and so I don't give a d Yeah, because I think like dogs were coming up to everyone, and the dogs can like if you pet the dog, the dog can go back.

It's just like, yeah, they got Corona.

Yeah mm hmm.

And then the dogs were getting right in the bed with the sand on their furs and on their bodies. I don't think the first thing. I'm oh, I'm gonna get a pedicule. That's what my feet are like. Ugh, that's nothing from Showan to us. Honestly, I can't tell the difference. That's what they looked like before the quarantine.

Bitch. I think I might get a Brazilian. I've never had one, so I feel like I gotta do it.

Why do you feel like you gotta do it? Well, my I'm not gonna lie.

The ass is Harry, That's.

How God wanted it, because you see this soul piece right here.

This is what's up.

It's hanging out the song Just say my my.

My rectum is growing out inches bundles, babe.

But yeah, I think I'm gonna get a wax too. I think can we do it together, Let's do it together. We can go together. We can get Brazilient. Yeah.

Stoody Brazilians, stoody Brazilians. You know, and you want one to you?

But does it?

Does it hurt? Sure? But what do you expect it hurts me. Like I've done it once before and it was not as bad as I thought it was going to be.

And it comes back and it's just smooth, yo, smooth.

But you got to x foliate so that you don't get like grown hairs and stuff.

But it's like itchy when it grows in a little bit now.

Mhmm, I mean not itchy when you when first days.

Yeah yeah, but like you know, you rub it down.

With some rubbing alcohol or whatever, You're fine. Yeah, so resilient.

I'll consider it. I think that. I mean, like I'm okay with my button whole hair.

Actually, you want to show us? You want to show us your whole Yeah, show your hole. This is your only fans.

You're my only two subscribers.

That is a lie, don't you.

There's also another producer on the call, So.

How you doing? This is such a professional podcast?

I mean, what is a professional podcast that feels like uh an aximra? Yes, yes, podcast, Like we're not talking about anything. I don't know. I'm growing my hair out because I don't have a choice.

I really like this color, thank you.

It's it's the semi permanent color that I had in my house. It is this or pink?

I think you've made the right choice you.

I mean, I can always go back to the pink. But so what else going on? Friend? What have you been doing to pass the time?

Me?

I mean both of you.

Since I've been watching, I've been watching so much TV and shows it's insane. But I will say to all the listeners, top three things you should be watching. You have to watch Unorthodox on Netflix. It's incredible. It's about a woman who escapes the Hasidic Jewish community in Brooklyn. It's so fucking good. It's like it's four parts to it. But I feel like I want it more. Definitely. Another show is I'm not scripted?

No, it's not. No, it is scripted. Okay, it seems.

Like so like off your brand. Be watching that, Like, I feel.

Like I understand, you know it's good.

Well, I understand why you're drinking the red bulls now to pay attention to that boring? It's so what so boring? Every time you not.

You talked about it yesterday, and you talked about it.

Before, and everybody whose I has told to watch it, they were like, thank you so much.

It is so fucking good.

So not.

One person hits you with a nope, not one person. I put it on Twitter and people have still been hitting me up about it. Well, people are born on Twitter. Black people shut up anyway. And then I like this UK, this UK series called Top Boy. Watch that Top Boy Summer House.

You got to start with that.

It's like a whole bunch of skinny E dries albums selling drugs.

It's great. Also not what I thought Top Boy was.

Yeah, that's like a grinder profile.

Top Boy b O.

I yeah, have we mentioned this one yet? A little fires everywhere.

Oh, I watched this third episode yesterday, so I have I think one my episode left.

No girl, it's on the sixth episode. Now you're way behind.

I'm not way behind this. There's no time limit on when to watch these things. I need to space out my Kerry Washington's you know, because she's really annoying on the show. She is she is.

The annoying one, not Reese.

Oh, they're both both annoying.

They're both annoying. But I feel like Kerry Washington's character is so unlikable one show, very unlikable, Like Reese has given us a big, little lies reach. She's given us Reese with a spoon now you know.

You know Reese's type cast. She does the same character, like variations of it, but it's the same. She don't even change her hairstyle. That's how give us a different color. I give you color. She's not changing no eye shadows, she's not giving up nothing.

She's not giving a bun, a high pony, a click, nothing.

No extensions. Hair thin as fuck.

She don't care. She's giving you sing. I don't know if it's thinned, but it's definitely like it's a little thing five part and it swept with like a like a poop out. So uh yeah, I don't know. Both of the characters are annoying, but Carry Washington is just I'm like, what did you do that for?

I think you need to see Carolina right now? She looks Show her, you.

Show her, you got the computer, show her, show her turn the camera.

Oh my god, these.

Are cross.

I'm sorry, Alex, you know what are you going in this sluty ass outfit? You gotta date tonight?

No, I just was trying it on.

I've never worn it before.

Because I can't show people.

Go ahead and put that on the ground.

Oh my god, wait, is that savage fenty.

Yeah, maybe I'll get some like some like sluty ass lauingerie. Yeah, should I do that too? They look good?

You I should get lingerie and do the show in lingerie.

Show this monk? What this is just audio? Yeah?

Not only fans? How dare you.

Recording video as well? I thought I thought that you knew this we have.

You're gonna put a clip together though, right that we could use to promote.

We'll put something together. Maybe that what just happened?

That was that was cute. We really adore that. I thought she said you would do I take that long? But we started at one o'clock?

What did what did you do that?

We started at least one thirty?

Yeah? Oh how much? How much time you on five side?

You ask somewhere else that you need to be right now? No, baby girl, you know I'm here. I'm her for y'all. But I'm just thinking.

I'm saying, do the people deserve a whole hour?

Now?

Like considering we ain't got a ship going on. I got stuff going on, Charlena, I'm working.

Well, that's nice, thank you. Sorry, Charlene. It was the set expensive. I don't remember. There's this thing want there's this set that I want, but I got to get a man to bite for me because I feel like it's too expensive. How much is it? I don't know, but I feel like when I thought I was like.

Oh, Andrew, do you want to see me in lingerie?

I feel like I do every their Instagram?

Who now did Instagram? How dare you you posted.

Something the other day?

You got your titties be out?

What did I post?

You posted something for you?

Something cute? Okay, bring your back, bring your back, Andrew, I can't find my phone.

Oh this wasn't lune. This was it your back brace?

Yeah, that turned you on? Andrew, had got you wet it is?

It's it's a good picture.

It's a great photo. Thank you, guys. I love I love when you're creative director for that. I know Carolina helped me artistic director. You know she's a whore. So wow, we don't use that word on this podcast.

Use wrror in the best way. Andrew, I see you just like that post. You saw it, but you didn't like it initially.

He thought it was too scandalous. Yeah, she doing, she's showing all that back. You're in the quarantine. That's a whore and now he does saw Carolyn is crashless panties and he was like, oh, it's not a bad well I think that's the thing.

It's like, whatever you weren't doing before this, it's time to branch out and just do it. Nobody is going to judge you after this. Everything that's happening right now, we forget about it.

Oh bye, I'm judging everybody every day all day. I'm writing notes, I'm taking screenshots, I'm judging everything. Yeah, speak for yourself.

Well you're that kind of person. So and I don't even know why we're friends with you, because we don't need that kind of energy. And these trying, trying times.

What kind of energy do you think we need right now? What's the best energy for this quarantine?

Take it day by day. We can't make no plans for the next day because we don't know what's going on tomorrow. We only know what's happening right now.

We don't even know what's happening right now. Right we know nothing right We don't really know anything. We don't have realistic timeline of anything. We don't know. Like I spoke to my friend yesterday and her mom had corona. She had it but she was being she's trying to She didn't wait, who a friend of mine? You don't know her? And she said that. She's like, yeah, you know, I was sick, but it was I was fine. I had like a cold, I was congested, and then I

Says that's insane.

But she said now because she's had it, she feels like she's Tiflon and she can do whatever she wants.

And I was like, true, there's different there's different strands of it. That's the thing, right.

There are people who've had it that hit it again, get it again. She's like, not me.

I'm like, do you think that you had it?

Me?

Yeah, I think I.

Think I had it. You would answer that for me, Sidney, Thank you so much. I think that I had some for sure. I didn't lose taste, smell, or have a fever, though I think I had it too. I bically was like super congested and coughing for like a week.

Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, same right.

But also like this was peak. It was like peak people getting sick time anyway.

And now I don't think anything of it, right.

And now I'm not like coughing or anything, but like at night, I get congested, So I think that that's that's allergies, because that's usually when that hits me at night. But I think everyone's gonna get it or has already had it. That's how I feel about.

Yeah, we're gonna get through this, guys. I'm not too worried. I'm just like I'm gonna stay positive. I'm lucky and blessed that I have such a cool circle of people that I can reach out to. You know, I love chatting with you guys. Andrew. I mean we had a moment last week. I made you buy something.

Okay, no, no, don't twist the story. I called you for advice, oh, adance with well, because I was like, it's getting real dry over here. I don't have like a dildo or vibrator or anything. And so I was like I went to Sydney. I thought maybe like she would be able to give some advice. Uh, And she sent me some cute links on Amazon, and I did. I did purchase one of them, and I'm happy with it. The first night, I was not happy with it.

Yeah, wait, you changing your changing your tune now?

Yeah, because it's not it's nothing like the real thing. Yeah, oh no, no.

No never.

But the thing is is that I haven't had the real thing in like seven years, so I like, for me, it's just another day.

Right.

So you're saying you ordered one two sus No, but I I was. I wanted to.

Oh wait, is this what you sent to the group chat last week?

Oh?

I did send one today, the one.

That you really liked. I was not really a fan of. I just thought like, uh, just like a beginner one, I feel And do you not know beginner SEUs for this sort of plastic pain?

Now, did you get one that like sticks to the wall or like.

It's a lot like I feel like it is. I wish I had more hands during this time, you know, it's it's a lot to matter because that's okay. So, because I like to watch my porn on my phone.

My question is why do not watch the porn on your laptop?

So I've been switching to the laptop.

Yeah for thisbe it's twenty twenty laptop porn. No.

Yeah, I think it's having a moment right now.

So that's the name of the episode, is laptop porn.

Laptop porn. I like that.

I just I feel like, yeah, dude, it. I feel like we do it on our phones because it's like easy and it's like I'm already on it. Let me just open an incognito window. But on the laptop is easier because it's like I don't have that.

Are you. Well.

The crazy thing is is that my old laptop was my work laptop, and I was watching porn on that and then I know that they went through my tags. They had to. I know they they closed.

Under your tabs, is what you're saying when you dropped your laptop off. Huh, you didn't close any of your tabs when you dropped your laptop off.

No, man, that's on you.

Yeah, that's on your systy. You had like ninety eight tabs open on one window. So I did.

I did.

I will not.

I Yeah, that's me, and I cannot deny that.

I I'm a multiple window person. I'll have separate windows open and I'll just go back and forth to see do you canna see what I'm saying? Like, I'll have separate Google Chrome windows open.

Well not like not tabs like windows.

No, it'll be windows with like six tabs each or four taps, but as opposed to just one window with like the tabs are so many that they're like you can't even read what it is. Yeah, you only have one window and one tab.

I have one well okay, no, no, I have the one window and a lot of tabs, and I feel, O, wait, so when you create all these different windows and create all these different tabs within that window, are all the tabs catering to like one theme?

Oh ah, that would be smart.

That's kind of the direction that I'm in right now. Like I have one window that's all like Bank of America stuff, and it's all like thanks statements and I'm supposed to be getting ready for my text. I have another one that's like all home things. So it's like my my unemployment tabs are all there, and my home deepo tabs are there. Okay, home things. I don't know what the theme is for these windows, but they all kind.

Of go No, that's smart. I like that, But then.

I lose track of which windows are what do you have a porn tab or no?

I close my porn tab when I'm not watching corn. Also, I'll open a hole incognito window for porn.

So what's that? How do you do that today?

I'm just gonna have to have you google that because it's not something that you go incognito.

I don't do it.

I don't know.

It's all there.

Oh yeah, like you're in dul Like nobody's nobody should be ashamed of what they're watching.

It's not about being watching. I just don't need my laptop to be in somebody else's hands. And then it's auto completing what I typed in. That's it. Multiple people use well not anymore, but like you know, someone comes to your house like can I use your laptop real quick? And they're like, let me just put.

In be.

It's literally it's any letter.

It's like yeah, and you guys, the listeners, can you just sound off in the comments or or at us?

What's in your incongito tab?

I mean no, but if.

You have anything like that's lud that's porn related, Like I want to know about it. I want to know what kind of porn y'all are watching, so.

Do what kind of porn are you watching? Uh?

A lot of gang banks, like girl gang banks, yes, with trans women. Mm hmm, yeah, okay, yep, that's what I'm into.

That's what you dropped off at Comedy Central last month.

Yeah, actually called it's it's actually an orgy. So it's not a gang bang.

Why are you calling it a gang bang?

Well, there was one that was a gang bang and then but then the rest of them are just orgies.

Yo. Remember how we had plans for what we're gonna do for the month of March.

I know that is gone.

He wrote stuff down. I had to throw that piece of paper away the other day because I was like, it hurts.

What were you gonna do?

We had a list, Andrew, you had a list of things too. You were gonna stop paying for dates?

I mean, oh oh that list? Oh my god. Yeah, our March list.

Yeah. Yeah, we will rise again.

We will we will eat out again and still I rise will be fine.

Oh rise. Any goals for the next week, things you guys want to accomplish or you're thinking about doing, and you're like, eh, maybe not.

I don't know. I'm so conflicted with even like going for walks or like just being outside in general, because like I feel like I'm like guilting, guilt tripping myself, or just being outside in general, you know, and then you let someone know like oh, like I went outside for something that wasn't essential, then like they're also judging you, judging.

Wow, don't let people do that to you. I feel like when I spoke to you, however, many weeks two weeks ago, I was like.

Take a walk, yeah, and that was like that was like okay, that's when people were still like going for walks. But even like when I walked outside this morning to go grocery shopping, Like it's such a difference the amount of people that are outside, you know. Yeah, no, it's crazy.

It's safer for you to take a walk. Friend.

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, you're right, I will. I'll go for a walk today.

I mean, why not. I haven't been actually haven't been outside, Like I didn't go outside yesterday the day before. So I'm gonna go outside today too. I'm gonna walk to the store. I'm gonna go get some cheese. I want to make an eggplant parmesan today. I've never made one before. I want to go get some apple pie from this bakery that I like if they're so open, and then I.

Want to come home and uh.

Not leave my house again for twenty four hours.

You know.

The walks are good?

Are you wearing that you do this? Every time that you do this, we won't be able to use this clip for the promotional. So you're saying something good right now that it won't be able to be used.

No, you know what, Andrew use it if she's doing I don't use it.

I'm just like, the fuck, dare I dare you to make a clip of me?

Do like giving this like inspiring message?

This is the attention that she wants. I was just gonna keep ignoring it, but you know she wants you to post it.

I'll post it, put it up, we'll see what Instagram has to say about it.

Oh yeah, they're gonna take it down. You're right, never mind? Okay, Well, I don't really have any goals yet because every time I make a goal, I don't really hate it. I think I hit like one or two things that I was supposed to do this week, so whatever, but I.

Think doing more than one thing that you're supposed to do this week is massive. I truly think that. Like I started writing to do list and then like I was like, I'm not crossing anything off. So now if I do cross something off, it's like a John gonna take the rest of the week off. So make a list and pick a thing or don't.

You know worth to live by Marie Fostin.

Mhm am I gonna do this week? I don't know. I'm gonna I'm gonna stop complaining about cooking. I'm gonna try, but love cooking.

Cooking is great. I have a cooking show on Sundays, the last, the finale show of it. Me and Marie are going to do a cook off. So yes, it's keep enjoying cooking because we're gonna throw down.

Yo, Sydney. Those episodes have been so good so far. Andrewa was on one of those episodes.

Yes, on the Simkon cook the first one. Yeah, yeah, it was fun. Are you doing you said you were gonna do another one? Yes.

I have to send you the name so you can make the fire.

Okay, I love you.

Son A shout out to Andrew Artist of the Flyer.

Yes he does everything. He's a producer, he's a graphic designer. He's my therapist me love me love, and.

You're my vibrator consultor.

Okay, like that, I guess I can't believe you didn't hit me up a vibrator advice.

That's what Sydney said. It just spelled Sydney. Would you have recommended a better one?

You think I don't know what you got?

Let me show you.

Yeah, yes, yes zoom call a zoom zoom zoom. I will will.

All I want to do is a zoom zoom zoom and our boom boom.

Just check your up, sha, it's just and bilvity.

That's what you think.

It's too big or too small?

I think that this isn't okay, like for a beginner one.

You know big?

Is it big?

You look big to me?

It looks huge to me.

No, like next to my face. It's not that big of your face. It's because it's it's it's like then how many inches is that? I think? I get the Wait?

Can you can you put it next to your face?

Again?

Wait?

Wait? Do you know and you don't put it next.

To your what are you gonna do with the image? If it gets me followers, I'll do it.

Let me not only have four heads.

It is, it's a good six inches.

Oh that's it.

Let me see what this Okay, so that's what six inches looks like.

Yeah, it looks me.

Oh I've seen six inch digs before. I don't feel like they look like that.

No, they do. They do because you have to like remember, like you know, it looks smaller because it's attached to a body. That makes sense.

Maybe can you stand up and put it in front of your body? Maybe that yeah, you in front of your body, like I can say.

Oh wait, put it like where No, I'm not doing their nightmare.

He's like, he's like, it's it's not connected to am Okay, what can I get?

Say?

Your body?

Yeah, it's just it's it's I feel like this is like an average It's I wish it was a little girthier. That's the thing.

But you didn't want to get something too big because you said it you wanted up beginning.

I want to Yeah, yeah, let's start the collection. Let's uh, let's go big, go bigger each on Doc Johnson.

Yeah, we love to see it. Well, I'm glad that you did that for us, and I really wanted to see that.

Yeah, that was very helpful.

Wait, do you do you have one ride? Do you want to show us?

No, I just have a bunch of vibrators. I don't have any dealdos.

Yeah, unbound send us sent us and vibrators shout out to them.

Well, oh yeah, I have a ring that's a vibrator, but I don't know how to work it. It's like a ring you put on your finger. There's your cultural stimulation if you turn it on to your door. I want to wear it to meetings and stuff.

And they won't even know.

Hey, can you show me again? On the brief people? Hey, can you show me where what we're doing again?

Just mean and then just start pointing at people with the vibrator.

Just like Actually, well there's some like people on only fans that like if you pay enough, like you can have access to the butt plug and so you can make it vibrate with like throughout the day, you know, like you have control it for that, so like subscribers can like affect your day to day life to let you know, like, hey, I'm thinking of you.

Oh I don't know if I would want to. I don't trust that.

Wait, slippers have the butt plug in and they.

Now the model would have the butt plug and then the subscribers would have control of it to make it throughout the day.

We're assuming that they got the plug in all day, but they don't.

They just leaving it on the dresser, and it's just.

Like, worry your nightmare.

This was great. I think I'm gonna go live after this.

Actually, oh good, Eat.

Some food and pop in and see what the kids are doing on Instagram.

Okay, and then you know, I might just hop in on your little Instagram and say hello.

Yeah, why not, let's do it. Andrew, always happy to see you.

Nice to see you as well. I look forward to ourn next recording.

This definitely. This was also the highlight of the week.

This made me feel good.

We should face that more often. Actually, no, because we have to save stuff.

For Yeah, we actually cannot talk. It's on record that we cannot talk to each other until we have the podcast, because then we have more of the chat about.

Ye.

Sidney and I were on the phone yesterday and we about to go live today. We're gonna be on again tomorrow. Andrew, please take a walk if you feel like outside, don't. Maybe the sun feels so good on you. I know, I mean, I see you in the window and you're just like.

The guy downstairs is doing a lot of remodeling to the backyard. Looks beautiful and he still won't get you in. I'm just saying, have a great view. But that's about it.

Yeah, And if you guys, can you know, leave a review on iTunes because you've got the time now. So I've been looking at the reviews and there they're so sweet.

But do some more. Wat Cobbet subscribed, send us d ms of your of your what's what was it? Oh? Dildos, your dildo's And also Sydney asked a question about lesbian's before Oh what kind of sex are you having during your quarantine?

Yes?

Please tell us are you having sex every day? Or you having sex every other day or you're not having sex at all because.

You hate each other?

Is it exciting? Like? I don't know, people are horny, so enjoy what you got. Yeah, fab anyway, thanks so much, guys, don't be much.

I y forever.

This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Baham, Joe ccilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Foreverdog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.