Just S&M - Gold Diggers Vs. Goal Diggers

Hey, Hello, Welcome to the Unofficial Expert Podcast with Sydney and Mahsomi. Hi guys, Hey, what's u? Sidney? Why did you laugh? Like? That's not my real name? I know, but it's just you know, it took you so long to get to where you are right now before you didn't even want to tell people your last name.

Well, they still don't know my last name, they do you? They don't even know how to spell what I just said. Listeners, if you know how to spell what I just said, please slide in my DMS and find me on Instagram at reezi or e E E see why and uh just type it out or underneath our most recent photo on the Undividual Expert page.

Just spell male sallyel or if you know my middle name at me. At just said BW j U s T s y D BW at me and tell me what my middle name is. I usually never tell anybody what my middle name means. Means, I mean, I guess stand for it means, but I know what it is. Yeah. Anyway, guys, Sydney, how are you doing? You know the holidays are coming up. It's it's a tough time for me.

Really, Yeah, why is it tough because you don't like buying gifts for people.

Well, every time this year comes around, either I make a ton of money or no money at all. It's so weird. It's like a back and forth. Like last year, I have coins coming in because I had two jobs, one for the clothes, one for my friends. I had so much money last year and now this holiday zeto.

I feel like for me, this year started out good financially, right. We had that show on MTV and we did a bunch of episodes for that and it went like it was like international.

I was like, look at me make money.

And then after I got that last check in March, yeah, my money was like we're estranged, yes, And I'm like.

But I but I need you and I right now I'm saying, how did you get here? I'm here looking at my finances like nobody's supposed to be here. Do you look at your finances? Though? I do, because I'm constantly looking at my City bank account because I never want to go somewhere and get embarrassed. Ever, really yes, Because waitressing, I see people get get cards to client and then I gotta slide them a note like if you read in this your called it's too late, call the bank.

Did somebody's gonna get the client? And you went over and you were like, excuse me, Uh, did you like say out loud to embarrass them or did you normally like whisper.

No, excuse me? I swept, I ranted three times. Always am like understanding because maybe you do have the money there? And yes, I'm not saying are you understanding, I'm saying, do you say real loud? No? Be cline no, because people are crazy. They don't want to be embarrassed in front of their friends that they probably don't even know that. Well, yeah, that's true. So I tapped them on the shoulder and I let them know. And then by the third card, By the third card, I said, sir, we're.

Not gonna be going give you a card that w won't work and then they'll give you a third car.

You actually be like, give me the whole while, and matter of fact, come with me. Come with me. Let's call it the bank, because I don't have time to be going back and forth with you. Is this a new card because there's still a sticker on it. No, there'll be no sticker. It'll be like broken in half. I'm like, sir, I wouldn't I gonna do it? This is a puzzle, right, Sure? Is this Elmer's? Is this Elmer's glue? And you holding this? Was this sticker butter is a statch tip? Yeah? I can't.

What's the craziest excuse someone's ever giving you about their car being declined?

The craziest there's no excuse. But somebody will literally show me how much money they have in their account. How much money they have in their account. Oh, and then I'll look at it a screenshot. No know, they'll go in their account and look, the money's there. The money one times not coming through. One time somebody had over nine hundred thousand dollars in the nine hundred that was just one of the cards, and the car got declined.

Yes, you see, listeners, just because they got a little bit more money than me, they doing better than you.

So his car got getting declined. Yeah, but he was like, oh, I just came back from overseas blah blah blah, so you know it's probably the bank or whatever. And he's like, I can show you another card. I was like, yeah, show me another card, and they gave me another card. And then Dad doesn't go through. He ended up having a fucking freeze on all his accounts. There was a

My nigga, you don't have twenty five.

He got twenty five, but his accounts were just frozen.

You were there, Yeah, but you got the money, So give me that twenty five for wasting my time.

Well that's true.

And you probably after saw, after seeing how much money he had, you were like, oh, well, let me be a little bit more.

Patient with Bruce. Listen. This is what I would sing when I would when I would have to like drop the check. I'd be like, when I dropped that check, I hope it's fifty five percent, fifty five percent, fifty five percent. When I dropped a check, I hope I get fifty five percent. I don't know that song. Could you just make that up? No? This is what I would say, Like sometimes it would work too. This is the song that you made up. This is the radio. Yeah,

But people who are wealthy don't give their money away. That's why they're still rich. You'd be surprised, listen, No, you be surprised. I've been seeing people with money and I like. So we have a friend.

Am I gonna put this pardal blast? Yeses.

So we have a friend who works with a real housewife of New York or something like that. Right, So the real housewife husband is sick. She talks about it on the show. So we not revealing client doctor confidentiality or whatever the hell that word is. Okay, So she said that the woman's husband has cancer, right, and she needed a hospital bed for him.

Oh I remember that.

She was like, the bed, the hospital bed was gonna cost five thousand dollars. And she was like, I'm just gonna call the place and have them give me a free bed.

So she called the place to get like a hot end.

Luxurious like fancy people. Soho house bid that was when cost us five thousand dollars. And she called and she says, Hi, I'm so and so from the Real Housewives of New York. And if the person on the other line don't know who she is, she hangs up, and then she calls back and says it again until somebody who recognizes her picks up the phone.

She got the bed for free?

What she got the five thousand dollars hospital bed for three And then her leg go to line is I'm worth thirty six million dollars. Apparently as well, she screams on the show, I'm worth thirty six million dollars. I don't have time for this. That's her leg line. My dude, husband is worth thirty six million dollars, not her, But she got the bed for free, like so, I mean, imagine what a real basketball a real basketball wife for a a sheba charae.

What they're saying.

What they're saying when they call someplace like, hey, i'm shot too, I'm calling from chateau. I should be getting a free blacktop from my chateau.

Right, So that's how people keep their money. They literally make sure they get shit for free.

That's true, right, And people who are famous are used to getting things for free. Right because famous people get things.

For like sent to them, right, Like Marie, people would be sending you stuff. What's up with that? I'm not famous, yeah, but people be sending you hair and shy yeah yeah, yeah, I mean tell the people about this, uh this hair situation.

Well, let me tell you something. My hair is, you know, it's doing what it needs to do for TV. But this company sent me. They were like, oh, we want to send you some virgin, you know, human hair.

It's gonna be dope. Shout out to this place. That's terrible. And so they were like, here's our website and check it out. I checked the website out. I was like, this looks like a scam, right, I said, everybody, all the models look like they got taken. You don't have the scammer.

It looks like a scam right because the pictures of the hair, it was like stuff that they ripped from other people's websites and then they put on the website.

Because nothing matched colored grating, it was off, and then the filters were the same. I was like, this looks like her hair. This looks like Spanish people hair, right, But Jalla was saying that it's awake. So they sent me the hair.

In my mind, I was like, Oh, this is probably gonna be really bad, but it's gonna be a good video on YouTube, right, and you're off for the story, I mean on in bad hair you told me, And I was like, yep, I think I'm okay with that.

I think you should do it.

So you know, you can get the hair like density, you can get the wig thicker.

So I asked for the thickets that they had and.

They were like, hmm, it's gonna take us an extra couple weeks to send that to you.

I said, good, send me the thin hair.

So they send me the hair via DHL okay, so like dial up FedEx that the DHL god comes.

I'm like, oh, he's cute, but you worked for DHL.

Nothing No, eating on no money. I opened the hair and it looks like they put a bunch of like pubes on a lace wig.

You're doing a lot. No, it was like it was not good hair.

It's like it looks like when you get your hair cut or you comb your hair, all the dead hair that falls out, Like it was the end. The ends were all broken, real straggly, like at least like three or four inches need to be cut off.

It needed some Moroccan oil. It needed a hot oil treatment.

It needed that that hair cholesterol, that hair cholesterol that they sell at the Beauties of Black Story, right, or some carrot oil or whatever. So I tried to make it work.

I did. I mean, let me tell you. Listen, listeners. No, I saw the video Marie starts off with the hair wrapped around her neck. You're like, let's get into it. When I saw it, I was like, already know this ship is rude shade. And I was like, I don't know if we'll ever get it hair hair again. Nah. Not from these people. I mean, they hit me up. They tried it.

They were like, our lawyers will contact you if you don't take this video down immediately.

Why you the one sending the terrible ass hair. First of all, do you know how important it is? First of all, you on TV, you doing things, We're taking photos, We on the ground, We got followers and likes and whatnot. You can't have us out here looking crazy. Yes, I don't care. Is free.

And then you want us to review it so we can lie and have our good brothers and sisters putting on a terrible lace.

From us exactly because you know I hate a terrible wig. I mean, I'll take a photo and post it in my IGCS. Okay, and I will I.

Will try to blur the lines out so good so you can't tell that my wig is CBS blurred line. I'll do what I can, but whatever, I hate a bad wig too.

It's bad. But they send me a bad stuff.

And the thing is, the common misconception is when you're famous, like online famous, they send you the good stuff, and then when people your followers order the same thing, they send them.

The bad crap.

Which they just sent me the bad stuff, So I can't even imagine what they would send people who are actually spending money.

And the thing is is that I read a lot of like comments on like black women, like blogs and stuff. That's the first thing they do is go on the hair. They go in on the fucking hair. They're like, oh well it's not blended right the hair.

Remember Gabby Douglas, she was like sixteen going to like do the gymnastics at the Olympics and people were like her hair, she need a perm those.

They look crazy dumb. That's not even we're talking about like love and hip hop. When I watch that show, I'm like, VH one, y'all have no budget. Do these people show up with they own wigs? They do, or they just have no budget for hair they do. That's the whole budget is hair and eyelashes.

I doubt it because these wigs are so beauty supply store. Oh by it, But why beauty supply store. It's the beauty supply story where you can get your nails done in.

The back as well. That's how mad the hair is. Shout out to the VH one perpetuating stereo stereotypes. Let's see you Mona Scott. Mona Scott apparently is Haitian. I think I read that. But her hair looks great. Well, Mona's getting checks from several shows.

Her hair looks great. Her hair looks real, does it? I mean, does that could play into the her being Haitian thing? You know West Indians have better hair than everybody else.

Let me just google it real quick. But I think that it's just a thing. Like when you watch Real Housewives.

Of any of the housewives, they all got fake hair pieces in they all wear too much makeup, but no one wears more makeup than the Atlanta Housewives.

They be having like full beat face, but Kenya Moore looks great though it's too much. It's too much much. This is what happens when you let gay men do your makeup. Ooh, I'm telling you, are we doing that now? I'm doing it right now because like gay men, Yes, a beat face for like a performance or an event, but for like brunch at the Olive Tree, okay, or going to see Peter at his like mom's house.

In regular life, No, you don't need a b face. But these four K cameras are ruthless. They will pick up every crease and crack your face.

It's the cameras are unnecessary. This is my problem with TV nowadays is that they have the camera so zoom the fuck in. No, give me some pixelated ship. Yeah, you to get all up and through my face like that. So this is why women are caking on makeup because the camera, this camera is used for dude outdoors.

It's there's four K makeup, there's HD primers, there's stuff that you can use that will make it look even. But their makeup be looking like waffle maker crumbs.

It'd be like fick. It looks it's thick, thick because the camera picks up everything.

First of all, the first of all four K cameras was invented by a man, a man who was like, I don't know mountain climbing. He was like, oh, I want to see the sky better.

I want to see the trees. I don't see the northern lights. Yes, he's like, I want to see I don't know the skyline. So they get these cameras that are built for I don't know, buildings and bricks and wood and leaves and shit, and then they put that on somebody's face, somebody who's thirty five. Do you know life is hard? Cannon? I will kill you, Cannon, Sony Nikon. All you people are terrible because I look at myself. You know we did that, you know we'd be doing

First of all, all the cameras that are used are not four K cameras.

They were not using four K cameras for us. That was not what that was.

A four K camera is a thirty thousand dollar camera. The checks that we were getting from them, it was not thirty thousand dollars camera budget money, but vhe H one viacom period cheap.

They're not spending thirty thousand dollars cameras. They might be hearing, they're.

Not listening to the podcast, and I will stand by them being cheap because when my lawyer Rich tell you listen, all I'm all gonna say is you don't need that much makeup. Like I'll watch a YouTube tutorial and it'll be like, no makeup, makeup, quick, instant look, and then you'd be like.

Am I watching the videos?

Still eighteen minutes later, we still doing the face We got a highlight on. I'm tired of the contour it's like your face is already three D boom, like you're trying to back your face come out more.

Well, that's for people with like round cheeks like Mariah Carey stay with a contour but puffy. Stop drinking vodka girl, but she got them chipmunk cheeks and with a line across the vodka and percocets. That has nothing to do. Her face was never that round before. It wasn't. She used to be really really thin. I remember, Oh Visions of Love Mariah Carey's face life. That's life on her right now.

Speaking of life, I'm giving all my Haitian listeners life right now. Mona Scott is indeed Haitian American. She's also fifty years old. She was born she was born in Queen. Did you see Jocelyne like quit the show and like try to read her what she's saying. I watched this on the Wendy. It was Wendy Williams played the clip. Can we talk about Wendy real quick?

Wait? What do we want to talk about first? Okay, So Wendy just played the clip and it was like Jocelyne was like, I quit that show. I'm not doing because Mona Scott, and she was like, you know, it was very un Scott can suck my deck basic basically, and she like jumped in her car and like the window rolled up, but she like didn't have a button.

She like cranked it by hand. I feel like, anyway, you gotta watch it on a Wendy.

Yeah, but Wendy fainted this week.

Funny people are sick out here, Yeah, Sidney people are sick.

Yeah.

Actually, you just found out that one of my friends, Merriment I have diabetes.

You know what, Marie, Honestly, I'm so through with you. Nothing is sacred. I didn't say any names. I didn't say my friend Sidney might have diabetes. You have no friends. Every time you say my friend, they're like, Sidney.

I fact, I said one of my friends.

My friend. One of my friends are like, oh no, gotta be Sidney. You're saying that. You doing that? They got friends like I. At least how many episodes have we done fifty three? Have at least.

Fifty three friends listen ape to uh Wendy Williams and her wigs.

I think she was overheated. She was just overheated and her sugar was probably low. I watched the video. Many times when people faint, their eyes rolling the back of their head, they fall down. She looks scared, She slurred her words, she backed up, she felled out. So what do you think it is?

People are saying that you they think she had a mini stroke or like a baby heart attack, because when you faint, you don't have time to look scared.

Your body just drops. So you think she had a stroke. I think she had a little mini stroke. Well, she looked like she got a stroke already, so I could I.

Could, oh see, Oh okay, Well she has thyroid problems. Also, apparently she is what's the she's she don't have good equilibrium whatever that words vertigo, vertigo she got she got vertigo. So she's like six feet tall, six feet plus in heels.

She got a lot going on. You know, my prayers are out with you, thought and prayers and prayers for Whitney Williams.

I hope you get well, get your vitamins up, a lot of nerdy, I know, ab CD.

I need all of that too. I actually had to do some blood work. I'm going through some shit too. Damn dude, you want to get into it. I mean, I feel like the listeners need to know more about us. Go ahead, Sis, you know, I had some numbness, some tingless ness going in my foot, in my cisy theorea last longer than six hours. You gotta go to the doctor. I don't take ci Ali's bitch. No. I have like something was going on with my hands and my feet. So what did it feel like? It felt like you

It's called drowning, and water is good for you. You can give yourself like pneumonia, dude, So what you're gonna do?

We waiting for the blood work. Waiting for the blood work. Thoughts and prayers for a year, for your girls, for my friend who may or may not have diabetes. I mean honestly, when I went, my blood pressure is low. Yes, so I was like, oh, I can't have diabetes. I feel like you're blood pressure has to be high. Yeah.

I don't know how that works, blood pressure and stuff like that, but I know that when your blood pressure is low, the doctor be like, are you tired?

That means you're probably tired a lot. Yes, that's a symptom of having low blood pressure. Yes, I'm always tired. I needed a nap in the middle of the day today.

You sure did. I was getting ready. I was here doing work in the studio and Ciity was.

Like, the studio today is at my house with my fucking cats, my kitty litter. Uh, I mean the cat house, y'all. It's a lot of cats. They were just like meowing on the other episode. Yeah, you're gonna hear them in the background, but they're screaming because they're trying to find out if I have diabetes.

Like you know, they say animals sense things before if we're humans, they can sense the diabetes.

Dude. I just I hope that I'm okay because honestly, I can't afford diabetes anything.

That's my main goes. I just want to just a quick flashback. Who's like, oh, you know what, let me do my finances this. You know I could afford diabetes or some sort of illness. You don't you know what my budget is right now. Yeast infection. Yeah, I got yeast infection because that goes away in like a couple of days. I actually I have never had a YaST infection. I don't know how much they cost. It's like you gotta drink something to clear that out.

Antibotics. Yeah, took a couple of pills. You take some grammary juice, cranberry pills.

You flush it, flush it down, ut shut downs, Get up, shut up.

I think it's a UTI is uh grammarry es. I have no idea what a U t I and a uh yeast infection? Well, yeast is the actual dough. Yeah, like the materials if you legit.

I almost said call us now, but we can't have you guys call us. But one of these days I gonna be able to call us. We're gonna do a live podcast.

Honestly, I really feel like people calling us would be dope. You know I pick up. First of all, I'll be like hello, hello, and like man like hold on, hey, she can't come to the phone right now, or yeah, what's up? And it's like I know that was you. I've done that before. Oh me too. You pick up and you were like and then you're like, I'm a call the one eight hundred numbers that be calling. They'd be like man speak Tosney Watcher. We're like, oh, you have the wrong number. I don't even pick up a

I updated my phone so it looks like I have a brand new iPhone. It's the same raggedy six s and thank you so much. And there's a thing you can like black people from calling you on your phone.

It's beautiful. It's great Sydney speak of great Harvey Whitstein. Oh, let's talk about it. It's honestly, I'm not I'm not surprised. I'm not surprised by in twenty and seventeen has been so motherfucking predictable.

Every time something come up, I'll be like, uh yeah that fits with the yeah, yeah yeah.

Like twenty seventeen has been like that drunk fucking friend that calls you the next day after she had a crazy night and it's like, I'm never drinking again. Yeah, And she's like, she tells you something else and you're like, girl, what else can you shit on? You literally have shipped on everything everything. What else can you do? It's like two thousands. It's like so bad, but so I don't know what the number is.

Harvey Wystein is going for the record, the white r Kelly, uh, the white Bill Cosby, Bill Cosby, he is, he is Bill Cosby, except Bill Cosby was using drugs. Harby Weinstein was just like, I'm white and powerful.

He was using his white privilege, which is worse than roofy Hello, okay, because I can see it.

I see the white privilege. I just wake up and I'm like, why am I bot sore with the Bill?

He said, you know what, He's like, I don't need drugs. He said that. He said that.

But the thing with me about hi, because I'm not surprised about the Harvey Weinstein stuff. The thing about me that that got me was when he the Lupita stuff came out, because you know, in my mind, she's like my sister, like legit, my mom acts like she's one of her kids. I said, get the gun, Get the motherfucker gun. I called my mom. I was like, my man, he came for Loopitzza. He didn't touch her, though, Listen to what happen. I'm gonnaell you as a story real quick.

But apparently what happened was when she was still a student at Yale, she met Harvey Weinstein at some event and he was like, oh, you're an actress, Yeah we should connect.

And she was like, he a little creepy and people were like, yeah, he's creepy, but he's, you know, the most powerful person in Hollywood. So he invited her to his house. She went to go see a movie that he was showing. Her was there, She's like, cool, this is safe, this is super. Fifteen minutes into the movie, he's like, I.

Want to show you something. She's like, I'm watching the movie.

He's like, knowing Lupete, she probably said film, I'm watching the film, and he's like, we'll be right back.

They go up to his bedroom. He's like, I'm gonna give you a massage.

She said she panicked, but she didn't want him touch her, so she was like, what if I give you a massage and he was like, ah yeah, And then he was like, I'm gonna take off my pants and she was like, I'm gonna leave. So he never touched her, but then it was like every every time she saw him after.

That, he was like, listen, I got a room in this hotel upstairs. Let's just get the food to go.

Like it was like every time it was like a little bit more creepy.

But do you know with this Anglo Saxon, Dusty Musty get into it, dishrag looking dude. He ended up saying, oh, I recall something else. I would never Yeah.

He he denied hers sdifically, like he was like, oh no, that never.

I never.

I never touched her, Like, dude, you at the bottom of the barrel right now. You said, you shutting down a queen. Yeah, He's like, I wouldn't. Why would I do that? Why, Like, of all the things that you should be denying, that's the one that you denying everybody?

He said, yes, yes, yes, White Hose. I didn't even even have heard of, didn't even know they were actresses.

Okay, Lou Pizza your award winning He.

Said, yeah, Nah, that's not gonna work. He said, Actually, I don't recall it happening like that. I don't. He was like, I don't know her, and that cart that's the fuck.

That thing about Hollywood is like, now we got a bat for our sister, Like, wait, are you saying that she's not good enough? You're purv Penis is too good for her.

Yeah. So it's it's fucking It's just it's so annoying, and like it's crazy because I met him several times, like I've can we.

Talk about this everything you say to say allegedly alleged, allegedly I served him, Okay, allegedly Penelope.

Cruise was there. Oh how was she is? She? Pretty? Well? She was she was crying. I think something had happened, like a friend had passed away. But or he was like, I got a room upstairs. Let me no, no, no, no, no, It wasn't like that. It was several people were at the table, okay, but she was crying. She had a thick ass accent. Yeah, she's like super Spanish, she's very Spaniard. But that was cool. He was like trying to make sure that she was He was comforting her. He was

Well, I think that's the thing when when when white worlds collide, what happens is they're like, I don't.

Have time to fight you right now, I'm rich, and then they walk away. But the crazy thing is that it was a DJ like you work your son. How you can't just hit somebody? That's true.

Like if you, as a server hit somebody, you would get fired.

No, no, no, me as a black server, they were z that was they were jazzy. Jeff my ass any may not Well that was a silent black I said, you as a interest, right, it was that read but yeah, it was it was just crazy because now coming back to twenty seventeen, I'm like, oh, he deserved to get uppercuted, Like it don't matter what happened now knowing I was like, I bet you that DJ is like yeah I did it. Yeah, yeah, it's a proud moment.

I mean, but all the stuff that's coming out is not surprising to me. That's how Hollywood has always worked. Like I would hear things stories about like the casting couch, like that is just like code for you. Won't You're gonna lay on his couch and give me some and I'm gonna put you in my movie.

But this is a What oils down to is power. When people have something that you want, it's crazy. You don't know, people don't know what to do with it. I mean, this is us, just regular us sitting on Koucho regular maybe not regular, not regular, but well, I feel like we're down to earth right now, right now, yo, catch us in three years this I'm gonna be like, I know. But also, we are women. When men have power, it is sick.

Like I would I need men to have supervisors because that's how sick they are with the power.

Word. Where's the Hollywood hr The Academy. There's none. There's none.

Well no, because Terry Crews, you know, the big black Terry Crew said he was at a party and some Hollywood producer came and grabbed his dick or squeezed his butt. I don't remember which side of his body was, but grabbed something. But Terry Crew's always doing something cooner. I don't want to say it, but he always started doing something. He's doing coon stuff or not. He's still a six foot something black man. And a white executive came up and just grabbed him and thought it was hilarious and

Like somebody said an email. Sure he went to somebody. I'm sure he went to his people and they were like listen, Terry, listen, you know, white chicks, that was the last good movie you're in, So like.

No, your car right, just you know, So they're like listen, Terry, do you want to do who wants to be a millionaire for a season?

Or nah, Yes, that's what it is. I mean.

And the entertainment is so freaking fickle. It's so fickle. One minute you're in, the next minute you're out. You never know if you're gonna get another.

Joby Weinstein was in for like forty years, but people wanted the end.

Well yeah, because all the women that are talking now are like they he tried, but I didn't, but I want to know what women and they let him like those are women that I'm like.

Well what what what thing? Stories? Well, they're quiet because it's the stigma is that women are always fucking to get to the top. So if they mentioned that, they're like, yeah, I was slept with Harvey. They're like, well, because where you are, yeah, is your career really valid? So it's some men that sleep. They wait to the top too.

Allegedly, Will Smith got on the casting couch for The Fresh Prince.

Of bel At Are you serious, alleged, Laurie, I don't believe that.

Oh my goodness, Sis, get into it. It's probably all over lipstick Alley or whatever the hell y'all are getting y'all news from now, Like this is something that like people say John Travolta like this, Like these are names that like when you When I hear them, I'm like, oh, I heard that this person did this to get what they got.

This is something that I hear. Let me, I'm gonna throw this out there right now, go ahead me And where I am right now at this age, I'm not fucking because I didn't fuck so much and I got nothing out of it. I'm not confident in my fucking and I'm like, oh, I'm a fit help this. So

Because women in general don't tend to stick together because white women and this hear me out white women that are listening. White women tend to not stand up for other women. They stand up for themselves. They speak when something affects them specifically, that's what it is. And then if a black woman talks, they're gonna be like na, na, no, no no, Like Lupita wrote a whole article about something and he was like, nah, I don't know.

And then where are the feminists? Where are they at exactly exactly I mean.

Meanwhile, me as a regular regular black woman, I was at a Barnes, Barney's and Nobly a couple of years ago, and I was charging my phone because you know, I was not in there reading no damn books at the Barney's and Nobly, and this like fat white dude walked by, looked at me, kept moving and then came back the other direction and he comes up to me and he's like, hey, I'm a director.

I'm James Tobeck. This story like this is real, is alleged. I'm not trying to get sued. This happened for real.

He's also it came out that he did a bunch of crazy stuff to women too. But he came up to me and was like, hey, allegedly I want you got a really great look. I'm a director. I just directed this movie about Mike Tyson. It's a documentary. Blah blah blah. None of that is alleged because he really did. And he was like, here's my DVD here, and I was like, you just got the DVD just in your knapsack.

You gotta have it ready. It's like a mixtape, you got it in your book. But you're man ready, You're my man. You love documentaries.

So he gives it to me and he's like, I feel like I got some things that are about to pop off. I feel like you'd be a good fit for something that I'm doing. Allegedly, so he's like I was like mm hmm okay, and he's like, are you hungry? Do you have time to get something to eat? Of course I got time food. I might have just ate, but I'm still hungry for your food. So we go we get something to eat, simple, simple, dimple and he's like, oh,

That's what That's all they want and need.

So he's like, oh, you know, when I getting ready to cast things, I like to like sit in a dark room with the person one on one to get to know them. I said, that sounds like something that I'm not gonna do, but okay, whatever, I'm gonna let you keep talking because they haven't dropped the check yet. And he was like, oh, you know something about like just revealing your true self.

Me.

I'm like, that sound like I gotta take my clothes off. He's like, well, if you're not comfortable nude in front of me, how will you do a sex scene in front of a.

Crew of people?

How about I won't be how about we just started talking. We already talked about a sex scene. I'm not even an actress, No, thank you, what I look like halle Berry? So I said, okay, we changed numbers at the end of the night because I'm like, I'm gonna be hungry on Thursday.

So we part ways.

He hits me up and I was like, Hey, I'm having lunch, I'm having dinner with Tom Cruise tonight.

I was like, who, what do I have that I can wear? You got a Tom Cruise blouse or a Tom Cruise shawl? Right?

So I'm like, what do I have that I can wear for Tom Cruise with a scientology cardian?

Right?

And he's like, I'm at dinner with Tom Cruise and then when that's done, I'm gonna hit you up so you can come to my hotel room so we could go over these lines.

I was like, Nope, not not into it. Not into it. We never spoke again, right because I was like, oh, I'm not I'm not good enough for Tom Cruise, but you're good enough for me. Allegendly, what does he look like? Google him?

James Tobic t o b ac this is what? This is what I don't big and white and has glad. He looks like Danny's. He looks like Penguin from Batman, but.

Like tall James Tobic.

But if you look at what people are alleging about him now, he would invite women to his hotel.

The mother fucking nerve right.

He would invite women to his hotel room and then tell him take their shirts off, and then he would just start masturbating in front of them, or when they try to leave. He got a lazy eye, he ain't got no hairlines and like a tinted sunglass. But he would if when they tried to leave, he would rub his dick on their leg like a dog until he came to.

He looks like he got skin cancer. I can't this guy, but.

Can you imagine if his his bit and he's big, like his big body on my little tiny virgin body.

Gross. I mean, this is I'm gonna tell you as a woman who has gone up to the room before, back to the crib girl room. So you went up to the hotel hotel holiday ann. Yes, but obviously this is not somebody who was like a director. Who was it?

Somebody would He was a boom mic operator. He had lots of coins. He's a bush driver, he was, he had lots of coins.

I went up because he said he had to talk to me, and then he ended up telling me he had cancer. Wow wait what yeah? So he like I was like, so you didn't bring me up here to wait me. He just came to tell me about it. It's just like you go, there's so many ways going up to the hotel. Can something can happen?

I am too paranoid to go up to the hotel.

I went up and he told me, and I ended up crying for the rest of the to stay.

And then while he masturbated. I'm sorry, he's just not masturbating. Maybe that's maybe that's how he got He gets off on twinman's tears by telling them that he is cancer.

Right. Did you even know him to be crying? Yeah? We had gone out on dates before. He was an older, older, older white.

Man, older older older and I was twenty four at the time.

Okay, so last year and uh yeah, you know at the time, I was young, and I was like, shit, let me come out with these old rich people. Why not? Why let's say how you say you gotta do it at least once you have to try. Yes, you never know. Did you like him?

Have you ever had duck pated duck proate?

I feel like I have. Yeah, Uh poate is like whatever.

But my question for you is if he had not told you he had cancer, if he propositioned you in some way, would you have maybe let that gore? Would you have considered that? So you went up to the hotel. No, I was like, absolutely not. But you went up to the hotel.

I went up there, but I just I couldn't imagine me putting any type of skin that's like literally falling off into my mouth. I can't. I like my meat falling off the bone.

But I don't like I mean, you know, like the meat falling off the boat.

He was gonna suck the grizzle out. He wasn't gonna suck the marrowel. I can't.

It's just, you know, I hooked up with one guy who had money one time, but.

Oh black, okay. But what he looked like though, he was like an older, older black dude bald.

Okay, but ballpark of the age here for me, says, paint the picture.

I'm gonna say he was twenty years older than me. Okay, So he liked fifty. Bitch, you got a lot of fucking nerves.

I'm just saying, like, if you were twenty five, you're saying twenty years older than you. I know that means at least twenty five. So I assume fifty. Does the math not check out because you said he was like.

Twenty years older than if he was at least thirty two years older than you, because you would damn I think I was twenty two at the time. Okay, so he was sixty, Go ahead, sisters. But he you know, he gave me a little money here and there, but it wasn't a lot.

Of money was he's giving you Because you know what, I've never had a rich man just give me money. I've had a poor man. I had a man, like a middle income man. That sounds like a boyfriend, because that sounds like.

That's not funny, that's that's hilarious, just like my diabetes doesn't need a a commercial break to gather myself.

Okay, so you had him giving you money, but you didn't have him giving you money.

He was just giving you money. No, no, no, I would like have a story every time, Oh, you know, I gotta pay a couple of bills.

It's like, where are those people that are just giving people money like they are, my.

Dear, They're not here. They are either they're drug dealers. I don't want to they a drug deal because I don't want to get shot exactly. But those are the ones that are really just just frivolous, just dumb, like drop, They'll drop ten k on like.

Luggage, luggage, luggage all at once. I'm gonna get the whole sets. I'm gonna get. I'm gonna get the whole I'm gonna get the Duffalo.

Gets the whole set on the same day. Yes, that's a family. A family needs a whole set. Pick you pick pieces for the set.

Yeah, but if it's cheaper to purchase the set, then just to get individual pieces.

I don't have a group sale, bitch. It's like, these are the set prices.

But you want all the monograms to match. I don't know, since I don't. I don't buy luggage from Lubaitan get my luggage from Marshalls or DJ TJ Max got the luggage.

It's the same luggage to me to me, you get to me to me is cute. I don't know about Sumi, but I know that I went and I was like, is this little.

Little Nordica suitcase? And I was like, but no, it don't even it's not known for making a luggage. The wheel's gonna follow.

All you need to do all you need to know is that you need a suitcase. Get a suitcase. Okay, you're trying to get her everlasting suitcase and TJ miss ax. Yes, I'm trying to get suitcase as we last, me several trips, a couple of stamps in the passport.

Right, I can't just get the suitcase. I'm rolling through the airport and the wheel fall off. Now I look poor dragging my suitcase through Spain.

Okay, well back to me. I'm glad that I made it through that time period. Okay, let's back. What are you doing for the money? People listening want to know? Not a lot, No, No. I Rather, the thing is that at the time, I'd rather just be with somebody who was broke and I like them. No, not me. Sis. Times have changed. It's twenty seventeen.

I'm still waiting on I'm not getting Mona Scott Cardi B chicks. I'm not getting Jocelyne chicks. I don't actually don't know how big that money is. But I just I feel like I I'm nice ish.

I hate the term goal digger. I hate it. Goals I make goal I hate would you rather we dig for coal? Like? What is the problem wanting somebody to take care of you for the moment of time.

And then also for the most part, rich people are attracted to other rich people.

Yeah. If a rich person wants to give, you know, a twenty something year old Haitian American girl some money to pay a bill here or thera, that's his business.

That's a charity. He didn't he donating the charity. That's a tax right off. He's supporting the boys and girls class. That's what it is. The girl Scouts.

Thank you. That's it. That's all that is. I don't know.

I feel like I know we had the Sugar Daddy expert one and she was talking, but her situation was a little bit different because the dude was married and they were having sex, but he was giving her money.

But I just want to let you know, most of these guys who are just giving their money away are most likely married. Well see, and then there's no single dude is like, let me just give you my money. It's always a guy who's got something to lose. It's like, let me just give you my Limity's a risk of everything. Yeah, let me put some alimony on the line. Yeah, So, like you know, I'm in a point in my life where obviously I want to make my own money. Absolutely,

I think across the board, Well, I mean maybe that's the difference between us and like a gold digger.

We want to make our own money. But there's gold diggers out there that want to make their own money too, but they first of all, they need to get an investor.

You got to get off fun, gotta get it together. You got to start from the bottom to be here. Yes, Like, I like, what's her name, Milania Trump?

Wasn't she technically a gold digger?

And people like to say Milannia Trump allegedly, uh is a self made woman? And it's like what They're like, Yeah, she has her own business. I'm like, yeah, but who gave her the startup money? Because she didn't come here with money? She got money now? And what is her business?

She makes suits? Girl, you ain't got no job, She's like tell me. I just feel like, it's what's the big deal? What's a big deal with somebody giving you money to start something? Right? Give it a little the seed. If somebody giving you money and you buying shoes and you getting your hair like that's dumb. You're starting to sound like Amanda Seals right now. She said, what did she say? Oh about the Jordans.

If you got more than one pair of Nikes, which you never used your passport, then you got wrong priorities or something like that.

I agree with that. I agree. How old are you? How you thirty three, sir? And you got all them shoes and you're telling me the farthest you've gone is Florida. That's terrible. Yeah, yeah, y yea yea yea, that's really bad. You don't even need a passport for that, and they be bringing it.

Or you see pictures of people like their shoe collection and then you like zoom out of the photo and the mattress, the mattress and the box springer on the ground, and it's like, you ain't got no bed frame? What you got spairs of Jordan's. I'm all I totally agree with her on that. I mean, and for me as a woman who can literally find things for five dollars and makes them look like.

A million dollars million dollars, I don't get it. I don't get this sneaker thing.

I don't get it either in my entire life, owned one pair of Jordans and I got them for free. Shout out to jump Man, shout doing what they can for the community.

Like, look, look at my.

New shoes, but I love a free shoe and I'm not spending. I don't like paying full retail price for things because I know that they're not worth what people charge they are. They fall apart, you wash them, the letters fall off, like, dude, the tag is.

Hanging on by a thread. Dude. I was at Zara yesterday looking at these little leather wedges brand new.

I was like, I can see the glue. Like they didn't even sew this. This was glued. This soul was glu glued on, but they had it had the little thread marks. I was like, did they copy and paste the thread marks because they are still.

This since it was a filter, they do a filter on that. Dude.

It was like it was crazy. You could see if you look at what you're buying, you see that it's not really worth what you're paying.

It's not worth it. But at the same time, you're talking to somebody who's like financially unstable over here, and I'll find other ways to be frivolous with my money. But what I ain't gonna do is buy me some Jordans some one hundred and fifty dollars sneakers. So you're not gonna buy some Yezu's shoes, No easy, thank you for what some limited editions. These shoes can't fix anything in my life. It's not like when I step out on these shoes people are like, oh my god, you look amazing. Facts.

Even if they said that, they're looking at your face and not your feet, and then that's you.

No, I don't need that. I don't need no distraction. Exactly, look at my face, look at my eyes, roll them true though, it's like, what are we doing? I mean, I just want to I honestly want this is what I would like. Okay, tell me what you would like. Tell me what you want from me? More TV shows? Okay, you get a little sack, stack it up, reg it up, ring it up, give me some money. I also want people to send me shit for free to review, like mo Re, but stuff.

Don't send me garbage to review, send me quality produce, send me good I mean I got I mean I got some good stuff too, but the hair was garbage.

What other good stuff you got. I've gotten like cool sweaters.

Remember they sent me that quote unquote cashmere hoodie that was rip.

Oh yeah you did. You're so honest, And that's what I love.

It's like because you can see these reviews on YouTube and you're like, that.

Bitch is lying. Sis. I could see your hairline. It looks terrible, like even when they're doing makeup tutorials. I'm like, girl, whatever light you got in your apartment, I could tell when you step outside you look crazy. Well that's the thing.

You look crazy, girl, You look crazy when you beg that in. But that's the thing though, right, is that people will you watch these YouTube videos you do that you follow the tutorial I'll be following these little tutorials. Yes, since I see you, you can show up two hours later. I'm like, okay, girl, what you smoke?

Yeah, yes, yes, yes.

But then I get there and I take pictures and it looks crazy in the photos. So it looks on it though, yeah I guess maybe probably definitely, But like I'm saying that, like it still doesn't look as good, Like even if the light is off in your bathroom, it'll look different when you go outside, right, And that's something that people got to take into consideration when they follow these little tutorials.

So anyway, want some free things, you know, I want to build portfolio. I want to be doing things. So like when we do this podcast, we do live stuff. When we out there, people like, yes, that's my girl up there doing her thing. You know, Like I want us to do big things. I honestly, I listened to the podcast over and over and over again. I'm like, how come more people don't know about us? This is weird. It is weird. It's straight, aren't you laughing? Over and

I know, you in your car listening, or you on the train with your headphones in. Maybe you don't have a seat, maybe you do, but you laughing and people think you crazy. Yeah when they look at you, just show them what you're listening, just.

Tell them, tell a friend. I know there's a lot of holidays coming up. You know, there's got to look you gotta have something to play in the background. Put the podcast on. I mean, I feel it might not be appropriate for your grandmother. They might have a stroke, but you know, let people know. But stagg us and stuff.

Things that you hear you're like, oh my god, that reminds me of Sydney. And I mean we're like everybody's friends but not really. But like, listen, if you're if you are listening to this and you're tagging us in things, and you enjoy what you're what you're getting, then like or here even more important, if somebody is like, yo, I need like a hot, funny black chick for this thing that I'm working on that with I don't know, Mona Scott wigs not included exactly, b yo, bw be

Thank you, We appreciate thank you for showing up to our shows, catching us outside, trying to catch a body tapping us like sliding in there. Yes, yes, that is us, a raggedy hoe with a CBS wig. That ain't me.

That ain't mean it is me, but whatever, we don't know her. But yeah, just keep continuing to support us. We're getting ready to shoot our half hour specials to submit to Netflix and or Comedy Central. And that's gonna be on Wednesday, November twenty ninth. That's the Wednesday after Thanksgiving. So you got time to eat, go shopping for Black Friday.

Come see us.

Bring us a gift, bring a plate, Bring bring a plate one or a gift to Actually the plate could.

Be the gift. I'll bring some type ofware, so you just you can give me like a little fake plate and I'll put the typeaware and I have it. You're on a side. Listen. I'll take two styfham plates wrapped in foil in a in a tote bad tape it up twice.

Stack the plates. They'll stack them stack so they're sturdy. But yeah, the show is gonna be Wednesday of the twenty ninth. It's gonna it's gonna be at eight pm, doors at seven thirty here in Brooklyn and Park Slope at Union Hall. All the info will be on the unofficial Expert page on Instagramah and uh, just keep continuing

We know people who know people. They just don't want to do the podcast.

Mean, they scared, but then when then they meet us, they're.

Like, oh, wait, actually your girls are cool.

Yes, we are cool. This is all in fun. When we are mean, it's kind of like relative mean. It's like that cousin that you're like, oh, why she always giving me a hard times?

Because I love you Booth. I mean, I mean, it's subjective, it really is.

I mean, are we really that mean? I don't think so. I don't think so. I could be meaner.

I mean, Marie, we have side one off conversations and I'd be like, Marie, you are mean, and I'd be like, shut up, Sidney. Yeah, But in conversation when we were other people are like, she's so mean.

No, I think that people are attracted to that though. They're like this she mean or she just really honest.

Well, they want to figure out what they like the mystery Sidney. If I was a man, you wouldn't say I was mean. You would say I was decisive. You would say I was like a strong opinionated in the news what I like and knows what I don't like. If you're a man, I'm like he gay.

And yet as a woman, people are like, is Marica.

Like he's flamboyant as funny? Yes, yes, he's moving his neck a lot. Yes. But shout out to everybody who's done the podcast recently.

We really appreciate you. I mean, everybody just makes it so much fun.

I mean, we can honestly talk to each other for an hour and it's still be hilarious. But I love the guests. They definitely keep up with our fast pace.

Rudeness, the rudeness, original ruess, rude gel other things. If you if there's a specific type of expertise you'd like to see, hit us up. You know where to find us unofficial expert. Also, what we're going to do is start putting bonus episodes up for you guys.

Little Treats, Little Tricks, Treats, Little Gift, Little Merry Christmas. W ho for that? Ass uh? And what that is?

Gonna be is uh uh. Once a week we'll do a bonus episode. Somebody has said to us that when the episode ends, we're always laughing at something, and they want to know what happens at the end of the episode. So you're gonna get like a little bonus, a little behind the scenes premium situation.

Yeah, And it's like, you know, I see y'all going to the Beyonce concerts. I see y'all out here paying for you know, these yeezies. I see you this four four four. Yeah, I see you're out here getting these face masks and these threading and stuff. You know, take a break from that and then pay for some shit of ours, you know. Yeah, Yeah, we worth it? Are we not worth We worth it, Marie? We are worth it. We I mean, we're entertainers. You gotta start at the

Right yeah, listen for like, like even if it's a dollar a month, just to know that the premium episodes were, they're not gonna be They're not gonna be free.

No, you'll still get these guys. This is uh this is an audio GoFundMe right now. Yes, it is little.

I mean after So, we did the episode with the Runaway Bride.

It was amazing. If you haven't heard it, go right now. April storm mess was hilarious.

April ten businessses so she was super messy, but the episode was so good. And what happens a lot of times is people come on the podcast tell us all their business and then at the very end they're like so warmed up that they're like things are falling out.

It's crazy.

So the bonus episodes will just be that the continuation of the stuff that you heard and you already enjoyed.

Yeah, and I feel like it's worth it. I feel like there's always more to know. We might even get it juicier in these little bonus episodes. Some things that you're like, oh shit, I wanted to know about that, you won't know. We gonna just put a little seat at the end line. If you want to find out blah blah blah, go to If you want to know more, turn to page seventeen. If you want to go home, turn the page twelve.

You know, like the Choose your own Adventure books, Yeah, that's what our podcast is anyway. I feel like I've said everything that I wanted to say.

Are you ready for the guests this episode? Come on guess tonight.

We have Jelly and Jam, Sidney's Grocery cat Cats experts.

Well, Sydney. Let people know listening where they can find you. You can catch me outside about people still saying that no, no, she got a record deal. Yeah, but then she's also crying like an interviews she's having. Yeah, she's like twelve for everything about nothing. Put your head on my bosoom. You could catch me on Instagram just said BW g

Yeah, we need a in turn, we need an intern that's gonna work for free. Oh yeah, will work for love. I will, I will, I will listen. You can find me on Instagram at rez r e e e z y and then you can find me live at Union Hall on Wednesday, November twenty ninth, eight.

Pm doing my half hour.

You got to catch people before I'm famous before I start, uh, sexually assaulting dudes in hotel. Oh my god, I want you to do it, and I want you to do it to like to like a white man.

Oh yeah, Connor, just put put a whole broomstick. No, Oh my god, I have to go. I'm kidding youraf the Bonus episode and everything that's gonna happen right after this. Bye guys, Bye,