I Just Wanna Feel Joy

Forever. Hello, my dear friend movie. Hi. Hello, Hey guys.

Wow, I'm in a great mood.

I'm lying, I'm not great.

I'm just like, if I say it out loud, will it be real? Will it be real? Sometimes? Yeah, you gotta put it out into you. You gotta put it out there.

Yeah.

Why are you not in a good mood? How you feeling?

No?

No, no, it's not that I'm not in a good mood.

It's just I mean, obviously this is I'm talking about what's going on.

I'm not at work right now. I should be at work, right I'm not at work.

So the people who are listening, who work with me, Yeah, I ain't go to work today.

And yeah, but by.

The time this episode comes out, it's gonna be too late for you to sit a trick. Holiday Season's greetings, Please don't snitch?

Right, So I didn't.

I didn't go to work today. I'm here snitching on myself. Whatever's And I'm just like, it's towards the end of the year, and it's just you're trying to wrap up stuff and you're trying to figure out what exactly are you doing, and there's not much to do, and it's like am I getting auditions or not?

Like do I have work or do I not have work?

So I'm just like in this weird limbo situation where it's like, Okay, I can make something happen, but I can make myself have some work if I wanted to.

And I feel like that's where I've been for the last couple of months. It's like I couldn't make myself get some work if I want to, but.

It's like.

It's hard, Like doing work is hard, getting started is hard. Motivating myself to do things is hard. You get up every day and you go to work because you've got to go.

To work, right, And that is the great thing about having a job.

It just gets you in the.

Mood to be like, Okay, I have to be motivated, I have to get up, I have to go there.

It's so real and that's why.

I get people who have day jobs just be a little bit more motivated then sometimes like freelance people.

But there's people who work from home who are motivated. They do get work that we know some of those people. They're madd young and they booking things and they're right, they're on their seventh or eighth booked writing job, and I'd be like, how you twelve? How you booking?

How you know?

But because those people can get up and and motivate themselves and they don't necessarily have to be in an office to do it. Like, whoa, it's five thirty am. I feel like that's a morning person. Oh I'm writing something about this now, morning people verse. What's the opposite of a morning person a night owl? Yeah, morning people versus night owls because morning people are insane.

Yeah, I want no parts of it. I feel like I've tried to force myself having this job, to be a morning person, and that's why I was drinking so much fucking coffee. I was having like three expressos a day to keep up. And it's just like, no, it's within people who like being up in the world.

That's them.

They're not for They're hello, neighbor, like those just flanders ass happy morning people.

Those are the people that are not shoulder checking people on the on the fucking subway.

They're just like they just get it.

They're like, oh, well, everybody's in a bad mood.

Okay, and then cut to my night. I will ass on the train at ten. That's too, that's too early for me to be on the Yeah, too many people.

And it's like, why are you giving me direct eye contact? Are you a psycho?

Are you?

Are you a serial killer who is.

Giving both day maybe whistling only morning people. Psychos whistle in the morning, whistle and skip skip in a hard bottom, just a briefcase, swinging in the breeze.

Just randomly sparkling up conversation for no reason.

Mm.

You like that book What a Bagel Is That? It's great bagel place on what's the street?

Dot?

I see you're going through a breakup right now?

Huh?

Like they're reading your fucking text and then they want to have a conversation.

You're like, what's you spelled Wednesday wrong?

Shut your ass, Andrew? Are you're a running person?

I used to be a morning person. I used to have like a really good schedule where I woke up every morning at six am to work out.

A good schedule. Ah yes, yes, a good regiment.

And then go to class at nine am or work or whatever. It was so good, But now I fell so far from it that I'm like not even setting.

Alarms because you know, longer have to be up for class.

Right Yeah, I know? And it's like the schedule, like the schedule here is just like so different every day. So, but how old are you?

Andrew?

I just turned twenty four.

You're like, yeah, but I've been said, we know some twenty four year olds that are booking things and selling things and writing movies.

So thank you two better friends.

Reminder, you're not doing that great Andrew better friends exactly.

Don't listen to Sydney, get up running and do them things. Waiting four is too old. I know you're you're practically dead deader yesh, my gosh, you're a quarter.

Well I'm twenty three, so I don't know about y'all old people in here, but uh yeah, it's hard.

You know.

I'm trying to, like because I don't want to wait until the beginning of the year to change.

No, you gotta do it now now. You have to do it fucky right now.

And I gotta do something for ten days in a row for it to become a habit or something like that, Like yeah, whoo, I don't even get to rest on Sunday, not even on God's Day.

You gotta do it every every day, every single day. But the thing is, my nights are not always the same. No, right, like some nights, I'll be home.

Last night, whoa, what time did you go to bed?

Well, I fell sleep on my couch while I was watching something.

On gorgeous fucking couch.

Oh, it's so sad.

I love it.

I looked online. I was like, Marie, I can't afford this couch.

Well, you know this Patreon, you can't afford this couch that couch. I can.

But then I'm like, what do I do for the rest of the month. I gotta I actually have several checks that I have not catch yet. But still it's just like wealthy. No, I'm just like, you know I live. I don't know if you guys know, ye, I live. Well, I live with Carolina. I live in her building. She's my landlord.

And I love that. I live like in.

Close corners with my friend who checks on me, who cooks and like does all that's great, but I need to be closer. I need to be not in the city, but close, sir, to the city. And we live at the end of fucking Brooklyn, Dude, we pretty much live in the Bronx. It's so far and I don't want to complain because I'm so blessed, Thank you Carolina for the cheap ass rent that I'm paying. But it's just like I have a roommate. I'm too old. I don't I'm too grown. She's never there, right, I've never there.

I feel like you're also never there.

I'm never there either, But I just I would probably be there more if it was closer and if it was my own place, and if I wasn't going through whatever transitions I'm going through.

It's it's just, you know.

In New York, we get fucked up and think like, yeah, I should have roommates and I should be thirty five figure, and it's.

Like, no, man figured that should out already because it's like it's gonna be your future. This could be your living far away at the edge of Brooklyn.

I'm very comfortable living alone in Chelsea.

No, no privileged white Gate privilege, that's what that is.

Give me some of it.

But I did get punched on my block.

Though, No, yes, we do remember that. No, Sydney, you've never been punched this it's far but you. No one's ever punched you.

No, I've never because I go immediately into my uber. So sorry, just.

Door to door, door to door.

Yeah, so it's like, you know, you want to be ready before twenty twenty to have new goals, new habits, blah blah blah, and just be motivated and passionate about shit. It's just I mean, at the end of the year is like, what are you passionate about? What are y'all trying to do?

Right?

Like I watched Quincy Jones documentary like a year ago or whenever it came out, and he did so much in his lifetime, but he would do so much in a day that he never had time to actually sit and like watch a movie or something. I watched three movies this weekend. I just had all of the time.

But you also have a couch.

I know.

I'm such a bum dude. Oh you like twenty twenty reasy can't be this bummy.

No, you will not, you will not. But also I feel like this is just like a new thing. You got a new apartment. You're by yourself. It's a big deal.

I know, by myself so I can procrastinate butt naked now.

It's crazy the apartment is in your name, Like, oh it is right, because.

My last apartment it was not not in my name.

It's just this is huge.

I know.

But like literally yesterday, instead of going to bed, I spent an hour rearranging the same three plants between three different rooms. I just was like, well, I feel like this is some night I will be s No.

Yeah, Like it is crazy living alone, like no one's keeping you accountable, like you're not seeing another person, like doing other things.

But that's why I wanted to live by myself, because I don't want anybody to walk in and be like you just you just good on the couch for the rest of the weekend. Like that's what I wanted, and now I have it, and I'm like, ah, I gotta get outside.

Yeah.

And it was, you know, it was Larry's birthday, and so he was at Carolina's and I was like, Carolina, this is the den, this is the cave, like this is the coffee shop. People could just like lay up central perk.

Yeah. They had like two bottles of champagne. They had drank.

They had eight. I was like, I was like, you got to get out everybody. They had no no, yeah, drank they had eight. No, no, no, they had eight. But that's the cool thing about living with your friend, though, Sydney. You're basically living in a sipcon right now, pretty much, because I would go in, you're a cramer now I'm Max who living single?

But then she used to just bust in and eat their food.

Yes, all the time, Max, Yeah, that was her thing. She come and going to her fridge.

Everything.

She'd be in her in her work clothes every time.

Yes, with the accordion briefcase.

And I have, I guess in my double bag and I'm double back with all my things.

Your makeup bag.

Yeah, so it's I mean, I love it, but I also I'm like, damn, I do would like.

To live in the city, That would be you.

Want to live in the city again? Where would you live? Will part? If money? Money ain't a thing though?

Without like Rice, what if you had the same thing, like, what would you Where would you want to live?

Maybe the Lower east Side.

That's cute Lower east Side for sure, because that's that's near everything, right everywhere I need to be. But it's so much going on there now, it's so congested, it's.

So dirty too. Lots of.

Two years during college it was so nice.

But if you like convenient, very convenient, you get to everything.

Everything is quick, right, and it is loud, especially on the weekend.

Yeah, and that's what I don't like. I don't have patience for that.

Crowds that are going out to the bars there are like fun either, it's like really boring. People too from like Hoboken yike.

Yeah, yeah their weekend wee weekends Bridge and hey, hey I'm from Long Island.

I'm walking barefoot on the sidewalk because my Steve Madden's hurt my feet.

That's exactly the story. That's the narrative.

My name is Connor, my name is Colin from Ronkonkomo.

Yeah. It's you know, being an adult is it's exciting but also like it's heartful, it's hard, and so everybody has the hype where they're like I can't wait to get older, and it's like it's okay to be twenty one. Only children are hype, and then when you get old, you'd be like if I could turn back.

The time, the fucking turned back time. I forgot.

I forget to pay my bills regularly as an adult because I don't have auto pay on anything sent for my cell phone, right yeah right, because I need that, but but also because my phone is prepaid. That's why I paid before the month. Shout out to Verizon prepaid. But all of like my my electric, my internet, my gas, all that I have to remember to pay. They'll send me a bill or I do like paper.

Lists for some of them. And I forgot to pay my heat for two months, messy boots, is that kind of or kind of might be electric? Whatever it is.

I forgot to pay one of my bills for two months and I got a final termination notice via email and I was.

Like gat damn. I was like, well, where were the other notices?

And it was like, well, we've been messaging you your bill for the last two months and you just haven't been paying it.

And I was like whoa. And I went on to pay it immediately forgot.

But we were talking about you paying this bill the whole time we were together. You looked at me, You're like, look at it. I was like, look, I'm gonna have no I'm gonna have no lights, no nothing, no lights. And then it's two days later I remember to pay it.

I mean somethings it should just be included. Why the fuck are we right?

Everybody deserves lights, Everybody that you're outside.

Everybody deserves lights and therapy. To be honest, Okay, let's talk about it.

Therapy should be something that it should be in the constitution life, liberty. The pursuit of therapy, that's the pursuit of happiness is therapy. I mean the movie He was a Homeless man with a with a cute son, that is Batman.

Now, I don't know if it's just like why I gotta figure this shit out on my own, have health insurance and get somebody who properly wearing like sturdy shoes to talk to me and unpack my childhood.

When you want to therapy, my voice cracks. Sorry, I'm gonna repeat what I just said. When you go to therapy, you don't have to start at your childhood. You just start wherever you want, right, you start at the beginning, You start, you.

Start whatever you want, like you talk to them.

But then it eventually it leads to like, Okay, we need to figure out why you're having these issues, and.

That's why you have to go TBT. It's like a TBT when you edited therap.

TBT t E a TBT Tbtah, I said TVT Yeah, what I'm saying like like t you're spilling your t Okay.

Okay, oh tvt's work.

You're such a comedian.

Wow.

Yeah, But it's it's just like you don't know this person.

It feels like you're forever on a first date with your therapist until y'all are fucking cool, and then you feel mad comfortable and then it's nothing. Then it's like when I talk to you, it's no big deal. But for a minute, you're like, I don't know you.

How do I How can I trust that you're gonna help me get to where I need?

So?

How can I trust that you're not gonna go home and talk to your boyfriend about this? I don't know, you know what I mean.

My therapist like recently it was like, oh, well, at least like you know that I'm here for you, and I'm like, well, because I'm paying you.

It was a good nerve and I told that to her.

And she was like, oh, yeah, what's her name, Joyce Linda, Linda.

That's a good therapist name, Linda. She is it has to be like very bland. I don't want anything.

It's just you doing too much with the name. It's like, ah, you can't.

I can't have a Rhann in. Yeah, Rhannon is too colorful, Carol Anne, those are like perfect, Mary, those are great.

Clarissa, No, no, too much personality. Yeah, Larissa explains too much.

Yeah, okay, Clarissa feels like, oh, oh you're doing something after this, right, you don't want to answer.

Yeah.

I want a therapist that hangs out only at therapy and then goes home and that's it.

In the dark. Yeah, no lights. Kned has no friends.

My last therapist told me that she was like over the weekend, she was like, oh, I played basketball at the park with my boyfriend. I'm like, I don't like that you did that.

Yeah that I don't need any of that information. Yeah, it was too cold for basketball one and you got.

A man and well here.

Not having one.

Actually, I felt like that was a flex that was flexing.

Yeah.

She was liken, use your money to go to the YMCA some ball with my boyfriend.

And You're like, I could see your knees. There's no way that you're playing ball properly.

Yeah, right, I mean she's like, square up. That's aggressive, Andrew, And I feel like you maybe need to.

Speak to somebody else about that.

Yeah.

From Rachel to Linda, Rachel well.

I don't like Rachel.

It's not a good therapist.

Rachel feels uh one, it's it's very like common, but also like young common, like I want an older woman.

Rachel feels like she should be Linda's assistant. Yeah, for sure, but Rachel shouldn't be the therapist, not the main Rachel's not the Rachel. Yeah, Rachel got to be Michelle.

Yeah, I'll even take a Melinda. I'll take a Melinda.

Melinda sounds like like a mom named to me. Yeah, I'll take Melinda. Yea Melinda.

And I don't This might be rude, but I'm not really into men as therapists.

Ah, let's talk about it. I don't.

I don't want it because first of all, they're not really good with their facial expressions, so it's it's a lot of dead face that I'm looking at, dead face, dead face, dead face because there for them, I think showing emotion is like, oh I'm too I'm too in it because I feel like they're supposed to be.

Like a blank slate.

Yeah, I don't go to male therapist, like, I don't trust that.

It feels aggressive. Also, I don't trust the man to help me with none of my problems or to actually listen to what I'm saying. So I just feel like a mom, a mom, a woman, A female therapist is like more invested, right, she's listening.

She like she's holding her hands the right way to show me she's listening, you know what I mean.

I just I don't know I agree with you on that, friend, I don't. I feel like as a female, I wouldn't want a male therapist. But even if I was a dude, I don't think.

I want a male And if I did have a male therapist, I would be like I would google them and find them on Instagram. I would stalk them because I'm like, I want to know what the fuck you're doing, because I don't trust you.

So palooza.

He's taking shots, he's pouring them on people. He got on like those boat shoes with the shorts.

Yeah.

How old is your therapist?

She's like probably like fifty yeah, solid solid. Yeah. Jewish woman, she's really nice.

I will say, the Jewish therapist superb, superbo.

Yeah. Well, I feel like they they'll always have that that mother energy, and I always feel like they'll insert themselves when they're not supposed to. But it's only from a place of love, and that's what a mother would do anyway, So I feel more connected.

I feel like I want like a queer, black, bald female therapist. I might fall in love with her, That's what I think.

Seems like really close to you.

Yes, but I'm but I'm you know, I'm queer at Jason.

But also but I don't want to go to therapy and explain why I feel how I feel, you know what I mean? Like, I just want you to kind of already know. Like when I'm like, well, Sis, you know how they be bugging? And she's like, they do be bugging, you know what I mean? Like I don't want to say, Sis, you know how to be bugging and for like some beige dude, they'd be like, well, please don't call me sis.

Yeah one, and to who is they and be bugging? Yeah? Is that how you want to conjugate those words? You know what I mean? Like, I just I don't know. I just feel like if they look more like me, then I can feel like they're there for me.

I don't know if I agree with that, but I just I just want someone to know what they're doing sure and direct me in the way that I can be better as a human being and just mentally processed.

I don't know if I want anybody to make me better. I just want I feel like I need to say stuff and then have somebody's God, that's fine. People feel like people be feeling that.

Yeah, you know what I mean. I don't know.

Sometimes you just got to hear yourself say something out loud to like come to terms with it, or to like be like, Okay, well I know I should be doing better and I'm not. But you say out loud and you're like, h like we're talking about me changing my habits and stuff.

You know, I just want to be I want to care less about people or things less compassion. Yeah, I think I almost feel like I'm an EmPATH a little bit. I do feel like I take on a lot of feelings and emotions.

I just thought that that was coming from inside your friend. You just got a lot of feelings and emotions that too.

But I also find myself connecting with a lot of people. You know, you quote quote say.

I have a yeah, yeah, I hear what you saying. A friend. You impact, Yeah, you feeling what I just feeling right now? How you feel how you feel?

How do I feel?

No, I'm saying I'm saying, can she feel how you feel?

Can you feel how I feel? Sidney, Well you feel the.

Left to me, Well, you were anxious earlier and that made me anxious.

So I'm so sorry. Conversation we did, it was good, it was.

Very productive, and I feel like we don't hate each other.

So we've moved on. But I do take on.

I mean we talk about this in the Patreon, the last Patreon we recorded. I just was like, I think my depression rubbed off on Marie.

Yeah, but I was telling you that I was sad before you started taking your soul off suit. It's not about your sadness.

But I said, we've been friends for five years and you've you've been seeing me be like a sad sloth for years that it's like it isn't rubbed off on you. You're like, do I want to do anything?

Hmmm?

Oh no, it's crazy. It's wild, wild and crazy kids. But I mean they say you start to look like you're partner after.

A while, but we you're my life, partner, you are.

My life, but we don't look alike friend today today, we don't look alike. But there's pictures where I was like, I see it, I see me and Rie. I feel like sometimes we look more alike than you and your sister.

Well that's because you ain't got no muscles, not a single clut, poor core, wobbly yo on shurty cities. Like you know when you go to a restaurant and the table will be like a little bit wobbly, and you put that little piece underneath.

Bitch, all I need is a low piece underneath the left foot, and we were good exactly.

You can lean on me, bitch, how dare you? Sidney? I can't lean I feel like if I leaned on you, we would fall to the ground. No, how much you weigh, I don't know.

I don't care about my weight anymore.

Of course you don't. You get a little thick, the button's little juicy. I don't care about my weight. Well, how much?

How much wand the gang so then my butt. If I any grade, I think my face would just be fat, and my body it would still be skinny.

No, you're very gone.

I would look like an akia lamp. I would just have like a fat headed a tiny nos I lost. I lost way over the summer because I stopped working out. But I have always been No, I've always been.

She's been thin, but she like her face sculpted out now and.

My face is super sucked. It was very it was it was like but that happened, But it was that happened at the beginning of this year.

When I first met her, she had like she had a full face, and she did not have muscular arms.

I have the receipts. Well, I've always had muscular arms and probably wasn't as good as they are. No, they were.

Even my arms are not big now. My arms have always been like this. The size that my arms are right now is the size they've always been, except.

For when I was working. I'm going to disagree on that. My pictures from high school will prove you wrong.

But I'm saying, when I met you, Sis, you were not this cut at all.

Sure, sure, sure, but my face definitely is skinnier now than it's ever been if you look at any of them. But then also I cut my hair, so my face looks even more sucked in.

You're living the life, am I? Yeah? Am I living the life?

Yo?

Y'all have to come to Mariray's house. And see this couch.

She is living the fucking life. This is how I know. I was like, Yo, this is all ALLAH need is a couch like this, and I feel like I've made it. And then you googled it and you were like no, I mean I saw how much of what I was like, bitch.

Well I also got thirty percent off because I called the store. So you don't use them discounts. Sometimes you go to these little websites and they're like, welcome for fifteen percent off.

Put your email in your little fake email.

And all these discounts that work for Marie, it don't work for nobody else.

We've already got the.

Messages and the dms where they try to pull the Maurice stunts and it don't work out. And they come and they don't have a bed because somebody didn't was like, well you don't like it, we'll come pick it right back up, yo. That honestly I so I couldn't have even seen that coming. Friend, Like, I've been sleeping on this free as bed for like a year and a half, shocked, shocked that they made you.

They did you sleep on the floor. Oh you got your money back.

If anybody else has tried that move the free mattress in a box, move from Amazon messages and let us know if it worked.

They not after we let them know. Abart mission Abart.

Yeah, but I had talked about the mission since since I got my bed. So maybe you know, if you did it right after I did, maybe you got your money back. I mean, you know, I don't know. I'm talking a lot because I don't I was trying to read something. Okay, So should we talk about these vibrators that we just got. Yo, it's not about okay, they don't.

Need to pay they already.

Maybe girl, Doc Johnson is the business discursed?

Okay?

So we got these free vibrators and Dildo's the toys in the studio, and you know, I have my you know, new helix map trists that I've been sitting on a Miss Myers. I took you know, a Miss Myers like bath and then I got out and then I got on my hand.

Fat fun five. I used to gloves put you talk to the therapist at betterhealth dot com. Work work, work, yes, and then laid back and who, oh my, what toy? What toy did you get? Which? When we're talking about because we got I came.

We came to the studio to record the other day and it was like four sex toys and some handcuffs and some lube on the table, and I was like, well, I bought my small purse, so I'm only taking one of these homes.

It's called I Vibe Select, I Vibe Select I please.

It looks just like a like a long finger.

It looks a popsicle.

Yeah, it looks like a It looks like a popsicle or a long finger. And it has twenty powerful vibrating functions. This is so man, I don't need that many.

Vibration vibration hunts.

Let me see, I'm like, I don't need every earthquake that has ever happened in calenty Wait, so, but twenty vibrations means there's like a zoo zoo and there's this, and there's.

Like it's like different anyway, I don't have a clip no more.

It's gone, okay, well use it. I used it like six times. I almost did not get out of my fucking apartment. I had several things to do very late.

To every week today. Oh you just mean since you had since I had it this whole weekend okay.

Well, so Sidney got the I Vibe Select Eye Please is that the actual size? It really does look like a finger, it is. And I got the Tryst t r y St is black and like sexy and like silk. It's whoa, It's like two little prungs. Listen, listen, honey, baby Sweeten. Chi yelled, I use it this morning. That's why I was on time to the studio today. I was like, gotta gotta gotta go.

Helped you get out. I walked to the studio. I skipped to the studio.

I was like, I don't know how many times I've used it, but it's who it was voted like Cosmo's number one sex Toy of the Year or something.

Yo.

When I tell you, last night, I could put it down.

I couldn't fucking go to sleep.

I was like, I need something to just knock me out. And when I tell you, I was, I felt like I got hit with something on.

It's gone. I can't use it.

I gotta take a break. I can't use it for a week. Well are you using it with the loopsys? Because I feel like that's that's what the difference is when you use it. Driversus when you put loop on the vibrator.

No, I'm not doing any like touching my actual vagina. I'm just wearing panties and putting it on top of that. So you're giving yourself rug burn Yeah through the underwear. Yeah, OK, because because bear when I put it Bear it's too much.

Well, I mean it's twenty vibrations. Well you didn't find one that wasn't. They're all hot, all of them.

Is the last, the very last knob all in this max Yeah, and I love a max i max shit out, but this one was too much.

Wow, it was great. I was like, who needs a who needs anybody? Who needs a man or a job or a sandwich? Honestly?

Who shout out to doc? Because he or she whoever is doctor Johnson is doing the Lord's work.

When they say who's your emergency contact?

I'm like the ee vibe. I'm putting the ie vibe down. I vibe I please. That shit is golden.

Yeah.

So I have like two other toys here in the studio that I'm supposed to forget that I was supposed to take home, and I again bought my small bag and I have an eye exam after this, so I might just.

Take this one, put it in the bag and see what happens. Uh. But my sister's spending the night with me today and.

She's gonna be like, why is all these vibrators in here? That's why you moved in by yourself. You won't even be able to live your life tonight.

It's fine, it's fine. Friend. We're gonna go to karaoke. Are you coming? Yeah, and we're come to karaoke tonight. Karaoke baby grand Baby, grand that's fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're going at like eight o'clock. Whoa, yeah, he said, whoa? Is that too early or too late?

It is a little early, but well, Sydney and Amina have shows at ten pm tonight, so they're gonna come early, and then Karly is going to.

Join us later.

It'd be so much fun. I love Karlina.

Yes, my sister will be the obsessed upsurst. But also you said what you said eight thirty years early.

But also no, it's a what is it tuesday?

It's like a holiday week.

I need to be up early to go home tomorrow. So you're taking the train of the bus taking the train?

Yeah?

Wow?

Why you do that? Why you say wow?

Like that.

Oh no, I think it's just everything just hit me. I was like that he has loved one.

Yeah, she said wow. Sometime like yeah, he's like I thought you just lived up a studio. It was like Andrew has a family that, no, you do it. I could tell that you have a good family. Like the pictures were you and your sister.

I was like, ah, yeah her, Yeah, she's good, she's great. She's every everyone else is on the men right now, really really a little bit why. My dad like asked me about like a job that He was like, oh, do you have an event tonight? And I was like an event, Like I told you that I quit that job months ago. Like, oh god, you're not listening. It's hard to listen hard.

That's why I can't have a male therapist, because they're gonna be like what you said, No, but exactly you still sing right, still doing them shows, them shows, you got a comedy gig. Okay, Well, so you're upset. You're mad at your dad for that.

Yeah, he's spending a little bit too much time with Carla's kids.

They separated.

They are they just got separated two years ago.

Fuh do you like Carla at all?

Carla is nice, Carla will listen.

Well, carl is trying to win, you know you O she saying their real names? Yeah yeah, fine, Well you're not listening to and you're not saying anything bad about them. Yeah so you said she's fine.

Yeah, I'm saying bad things about my dad.

Who but he actually needs to listen.

Okay, Yeah, I hope you are listening, Carla. Go ahead and pass them the phone. Sis, pass them the phone, Carla, tell him about himself. Okay, So you're leaving and you're gonna be there for Wait, so who are spending Thanksgiving with?

So it's half and half. I'm spending it with my dad for Wednesday and Thursday and then my mom Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

So you're gonna be with your dad for the actual eating day.

Yeah, and then we're doing like the trade off that night.

The food gonna be real, it's gonna be everything's gonna be mushy. Yeah, it's gonna be.

The string beans is gonna be real stringy, They're gonna be strang That's unfortunate. I mean, I just want them to cancel Thanksgiving. I'm over it every every year. I'm like I don't get this. We could do this another day. It's actually blasphemous to the Native Americans, like we should just stop stop it all.

Well, it seems like this year people that just skipped over Thanksgiving completely. Like I spoke to my mother yesterday. She was like, I didn't even buy a turkey. I was like, well, she never makes turkey, but she was like, she's.

Not into it. And I'm more excited for Christmas this year.

Like Christmas music anyway, this year, Like usually I don't want to hear it until after Thanksgiving, but this year, I started listening to it right after Halloween. Yeah, and all the Christmas lights and stuff I feel like went up. Like we just skipped Thanksgiving completely because people not really celebrating it.

I mean, it's it's garbage.

It's just it's an excuse to go home and eat and that's all. You don't need it.

And I mean we need to be nicer to the Native Americans, the three that are left. It's actually really really sad. I don't have any Native American friends, not one, not till one.

I think I know a girl that was like I got Indian in my family. We all have one of them, like I'm part irre. It's like iro what iroquoi?

But I think I watched a documentary like years ago, how like you know, the reservations and the alcoholism and the casinos.

It's just you.

You watch and you're like, how can we fucking sit up here and be like America is the best place?

Is?

We're trash, yo?

We take things from people.

I mean you're saying we, but I don't think that we We did take things from people.

I mean, but we're here so we benefit off of the thievery that the Americans were doing.

From jump.

We we stolen goods to those you know what I mean, like we we all got to go to Christmas service and be returned. But I just feel like, I don't know, don't nobody care about no damn Pilgrims, you know, give a damn about them.

Remember when we were in school, they used to make us like we would make those like paper pilgrim hats. Did you have to do those?

Yeah?

Like you remember that the Mary Jane's that was all the ugly ass clues and then Disney made Pokemon and made her fall in love with John Smith. Fucking problematic, Yo, we just burn that fucking just around the river bends and it was like it was a bob it was, But they made what's the colors of the Wind? Colors of the Wind was a bop. Shout out to Vanessa Williams.

But that was the real ty with Walt Disney is that they make bops to make you know, not think about the actual truths that happened during that time period.

All the rapery, all the rapery, the rapery in this rapery, no haterlration in this rapery.

Thank you. Yeah, they should take that movie down. It's on Disney Plus.

It's on Disney Plus. And for like the like Dumbo because they have like the Crows mutter racist they say at the beginning of Dumbo, like oh, just by the way, like there are some like outdated opinions in this movie just.

Before you all the crows are like the black people.

I think, like like Jim Crow.

Oh I've never seen Dumbo neither. But I didn't care about the elephant with the big gas.

That's that sucks.

My favorite Disney movie is a Laddin, I mean the Lion King. So I don't really think it's too many problematic things.

No, well, I mean they had the hyaena problematic the hyenas.

What's with the voice cast? Who is it? It's Sarahisica Parker. Matthew Broderick is voicing Simba, right, yeah, and like it's like hardly any black people are cast in the original.

Filmfasta is James Old Jones, who maintained that position for the new movie.

I think the mom is black, the mother, I don't think. So what's the mother's name. I want to say Safari, but.

It's it's like Sarah Fina. It's like the name of like that restaurant.

And something like that exactly.

Sabi also racist, you know. I don't know who she is, but Sarapinas sound like a racist name. Sarafina I think is one of Ben Affleck's kids names.

Yeah, but that's a good thing about being a kid now, it's like you you get the real ill like what you mean?

People a lot of children every every day.

No, think we lie and then them motherfuckers Google, they'll find out Quick.

Was played by a black woman.

Yes, I know a black mom's voice when I hear it, Simba, time for your mother. I don't want a mom dad, Okay?

And Scar was a white man, Yes, I think Scar was a white man. But Scar was the best and Woody Goldberg was one of the hyenas. I don't think that they were problematics Andy, because two of them I think were white.

They Yeah, it was like a cheech okay, Raiki was black. Well, we're talking about lion king can stay?

I'm still no. But Matthew brought her beauty and.

The beast can go.

A little mermaid can go, Beauty and the beast can go because that's beast reality like sis come on.

And they turned all the servants into pots and stuff.

Makes sense though, Yeah, but imagine you turn They turned some into like a table or a chair, but some into some into like a big ass bookcase.

You wouldn't want to be a book.

I would rather be a little thing than a big thing. Yeah, is the ones that want to be the candlestick. Dude, he's messy, exactly, what's messy?

That's why we liked him.

But Beauty of the Beast can go because she should have been with a guest Stone who was gay or the psychic was gay. Yeah, they gotta have a little They could have been a little trouble. She's all nerdy with her little dumb ass books.

Actual fact nerd. But her dad was a hot ass mess too. Isn't he the one that like got like kidnapped by the beast. It's like, how did you get kidnapped?

Da old come save you?

Exactly?

I gotta And she gave her give myself. She gave herself so that her oldest dad could be free. Who you are about to die anyway?

Okay, I'd be like, pops, you you lived a long life, you had no friends on the outside.

Dad, you gotta take this l yet I need to live and flourish.

And her bitch ass dad let her switch spots with of course he did for him to do what what did he do while he died?

He tripped on the way out and killed himself. He's like by bell and he tripped on a rock and died.

And she is just kind of dad as that that's a that's the opposite of taking.

Let's given and give it got.

Maybe that movie is Got. And then I liked Aladdin? Right was problematic about Aladdin so far? I had a good brow. His assistant was a white parrot. The sultan was a little bit round and dumb.

But like he was fine. He was like a likable ruler. You know, Yeah, I can't. I didn't really watch Aladdin. I didn't care. Yeah, I didn't care.

I loved Uh well, wait, no, this is songs were good Aladdin. This is not Walt Didney Disney. This is Pixar toy story.

Uh see. I wasn't like ever like a big big toys was lit toys man.

And I mean, as a kid, you do think that your toys like have a whole different life without you.

Kill.

My movie was Indian in the Cupboard, remember that movie. No, he was like an Indian, a little Indian man that lived well again, problematic American man, little native American man's like slip behind the cups or something.

I don't even remember what the movie is about. Tragic. But I mean, are kids even watching like, well, no they are, they're watching kids shows. I'm wrong.

I just I just don't. I'm just not around people with who have children. Besides a mina who talks to her son like he is grown as fuck.

Yeah, she talks to him like an adult, Like he pays bills, m hm, like he is very well man treshout.

Yeah, he's awesome. I love Nazi, her smartest brightest kid I've seen in a long time.

Well, I feel like.

If you talk to them like adults, Like, if you talk to them like people, then they'll act like people. But if you talk to them like baby boy, they don't act like babies, right, doesn't that make sense?

No, They're just not gonna want to talk to you. That's like, yeah, you're like, what are you in now? I'm like, I'm in, like sixth grade.

Bitch, I'm in. Yeah, I could walk. It's like, put up base in your voice, I know cursive.

Yeah, He's like, I'm in sixth grade. I can piss on you for real.

I don't even know how old sixth grade is.

Speaking of kids, did you see that t I went on the Red Table again? He went on the Red table with Jada oh Rod tiny. Did he bring his daughter and her collogies? No, he didn't, But he basically was like, I embellished some things. I wasn't really I was speaking from truth, but that was also a lie. I was like, shut up, and like Jada tried to be nice to him because obviously it's the Red table.

She's now going to give him this work.

She knew Charlemagne that as she needs to start like hard hitting Oprah Winfrey style questions.

I've never seen red Table. I watched the the Jordan What's her Face? One? Jordan Woods. Oh I didn't watch that one. Excuse me. I watched her interview. What was that? How was that?

You know?

She was like wearing like simple makeup, and she had her hair in like a ponytail so she didn't look like a whore.

And she was like, well, I don't really.

Know why she would say that. You know, actually, you know what I'm thinking about it now. I didn't really watch it.

Okay, I watched it. You're not giving us anything.

Well, she talked about the whole her and Tristan Thompson and Chloe being there or not being there or whatever. I mean, Chloe, you stole him from somebody else's, so are you surprised that he left you?

You know?

Also, yeah, you got this whole new face and this new body, but like your baby has your old face.

You know.

Wow, Marie, you're brutal sometimes. Well it's but Sidney that how is that being brutal?

She got her face and her body and her hairline done and had a baby and the baby looks like what she supposed to look like like that's your faces, Like when when will my reflection show who I am? Inside?

I think I think in that comments is we we know who you are?

Boom Mulan.

Mulan is a bomb ass Disney movie. Why because because the dragon is black.

China got really upset with treating like the ancestors and Bushu as like a joke and they were like the comic relief and everything.

I mean, but the how was she gonna get you know, her strength and stuff, Like she needed a side kiss with a joke. The ancestors, we need to know that they you know, they're not happy with her. Like what do we we're talking about?

We need some jokes.

Yeah.

Well, also the there's a Mulan movie coming out and they cut a bunch of the main characters out. She's like not married or whatever, like they could have but it's not even Mulan anymore.

Why because maybe Mulan shouldn't have been maybe whoa, Yeah, I think that sess the thing. That's just like it's stressful now because like this is a PC culture and I get it and you have to move with the times.

But you know, I was just watching old stand up.

Like everything that Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence and just even Chris Rock something. You're just like, this only works in this timeframe. They could not say this stuff anymore.

Right, So it's like we we've made progress, right, But like it's very obvious when you're somebody who's like an old ass comic too, because they the setup is old. It's like, you know, when you'll be walking down what's the deal with kitchens? Or you know what I mean, Like it's it's everything is dated.

We grew up.

But then every once in a while, we'll be at a show or we'll be at a watching somebody perform, and we'll be like, is this person suck.

In nineteen ninety one? Like yeah, like you can't. The references are old. You can't do Asian accents, you can't do Indian. I just don't want it unless, like unless you can do an actual accent, and you are that.

Thing even still, I don't want no damn accents. I don't want to what I'm saying, Like I might do like my mom's voice, that's fine, I mean, but that's fine, right, but like you.

Doing an Asian accent?

No?

In twenty nineteen, No stopping twenty twenty. You doing an o pool no and and boo no, it's stop it. I don't know if the listeners will listen. Don't do it.

Don't even try to impersonate black women.

Stop that too.

That's there was a movie of a dude that that crazy Lacretia or something Lashonda or something like.

That, something like, oh my god. It was like a white dude that his inner black woman came out or something.

He couldn't get.

He was like a radio host or something like that, and he lost his job because he had, like, you know, a regular white man voice, and so he called in and auditioned as a black woman and she got it, and so he had to be her and she was getting all these ratings and stuff.

This is like what Robin Williams missus.

Yeah right, it just like not genius at all.

Just yeah.

Anyway, I think it was in theaters like a couple of months ago or anything or something, or it came out on I'm glad that, but it was something that came out. You didn't get any ads for that. My demo loves I feel like somebody sent it to me. Your demo loves what Tyler Perry film stopping and even that is not like I don't know a single I don't have a single person in my group of friends

Yeah, and it's like Old Slaveland's a big deal.

The ancestors now huge, huge, huge, huge reparations.

Yeah, but it's still he's still gonna be making Tyler Perry things on the lot.

But you know, good for him. People are employed. Whatever.

Hey, hey, hey, they give Tyler Perry a hard time. But Tyler Perry movies.

Is just like any rom com movie.

No they're not.

They be in church in all his movies, so predictable. They give you the same setup and you just you can predict everything. It's okay, so bad it give.

Us, Give us if your life was a rom com, give us the movie. It starts ready, I would start, what's the trailer?

Looked like the trailer is I'm hot.

Obviously, They're like, that's just my truth, right, So you're hot. We open on you.

You got a red body chon dress is strapped as you walking down the street. You got glasses one ready, Yes, I'm hot.

Where you're going obviously going to go, you know, run some errand running errands. But she's wearing evening wear. Yes, got it, because that's that's my truth, right, right, right, right right. Aarons means like pick up your dry cleaning for some exclusive thing.

You got to know, right, I date hot people.

That's like if there's no me meeting somebody who's ugly and then I fall in love with him, that's not no.

No, not my no, Charlotte, your cree my rom com.

I get in an uber, I get in the wrong uber, the uber driver, me and that uber driver falls in love.

No, you're somebody poor and somebody on the opposite side of the tracks. Okay, so eight miles so now you're rapping. So now the person you're in love with is rapping and they croak and they throw up all the idiots. But you're there and they see you there can't the uber driver. But then we start working together on what.

I start Robin Bak Queen and Slim you know, yes, yes, so you and the uber drivers start work.

Yeah. He becomes your or she becomes your agent.

We start fighting crime in this uber.

Yes, Batman and Robin and that's it. But there's a there's a conflict. The conflict is what somebody gets kidnapped and you gotta.

Get them back. No, my my friend falls and loves falls in love with me. Your best friend falls in love with me. That's to pick.

I have to pick between the Uber driver my best friend.

Wow that I also do a podcast with. Well, that movie sounds like it sounds like it sounds like a horror, sounds like it sounds like soft fur. I would cut my foot off since I got a roll for you.

What you think You're gonna be the Uber driver or the best friend.

And I'm gonna be the barista in the third.

I know you're gonna be making l be like you with this pro I'm gonna be the sassy assistant at work.

Girl, girl, that's what you're wear.

I'm gonna be the I'm gonna be the person. I'm gonna be the bank teller that snitches on you. I'm gonna be the one that hits the button and goes.

No No.

You're gonna be the waitress at the at the restaurant and be like miss your card has been declined.

We try to it got kicked it back. They told me somebody.

I was at with somebody the other day and their car got declined, like it was a bunch of us and their car got declined. And the waiter was like, hey, they kicked it back.

Do you know the car?

And the person was like, well, that's a nice way my car got declined. And he's like, yeah, kicked it. They kicked it back. I was like, did Visa kick it back? When who kicked it?

Where is this?

We went to get like Mexican food and somebody's car got declined. I mean this car got de climbed.

No, I mean it wasn't there. Oh there was somebody else Carolina. No, I'm guessing. No, Andre, No, You're just gonna keep guessing.

Know what you want to do? I want to know is Rob Hayes. No Rob Hayes. He said it was like he had just got a new car. Guys, were you doing okay? In La He's doing fun? Do you need us to venmo you something? Boom twenty six.

He listens to the podcast.

Hey hey Rob, as you can see Rob. I tried not to see her name, but Sidney forced my hand. Mister Hayes, Rob you'll be in my rom com too, as what as as the as the that's the best as the best friend of the uber driver.

Oh he would be good at that. Okay, well what would my rob come? Yeah? What was my rom constant?

My rom con would be I'm walking out of my house. You know, I'm going to the gym, right, I'm wearing fitness where and I my coat gets stuck on something? What is my coke get stuck on? My coat gets stuck on the the train doors and uh, but that has happened in real life, yes, but not, but the opposite.

Way it was.

I'm on my way out, so I'm hanging off the train over the bridge and the fire department that they sin or the coast guard or whoever they send me and him fall in love.

Are you doing all the stunts for this?

Yes, I'm doing all my old stunts. It's like Speed but with a train and you're outside and I'm outside hanging out by my Asos coat. But in the movie it's like Montclair because Asos would.

Rip right the lining of it anyway.

So me and the coast guard or the firefighter whoever they would send to get me down from the bridge fall in love.

Oh I like that, but the way it looks it looked like I might be trying to kill myself. So they're like, they're trying to talk me down and like, no, it's just my coat and they should be asos. But they think it's coke. They think I'm saying coke and I'm sorry, stay calm, and uh, you know, but what's the riff? What's the riff?

Uh?

My best friend is in love with Ian. We do a podcast and they're watching it on the news and they're sobbing.

My best friend was also on the same bridge getting ready to kill themselves because I don't love them, so we talk it out.

That's a short film, bitch, that's not a movie. Everything happens on the bridge. Everything is the bridge. Yes, I mean you know, So that's it. That's what my movie is.

What would it be called? Like water under the bridge? What would it be called?

I don't know yet. I don't know yet. And what would your round kom be crying out?

I don't know?

And what do you I mean, Sidney, what do you think Andrew's romcom would be? What do you think? How do you think it opens you?

I feel like you a match with like your doorman or something like that.

Do you think I have a doorman?

Yeah, in the in the fucking rom com?

Yeah, okay, you have it, you have it together, but we're exaggerating life, Fred, you think she has.

A Montclaire coat?

Wait? Why would I like start up with my doormat?

Though?

No, I think Andrews starts in like the countryside or something. I feel like Andrew's like, you gotta go home for Thanksgiving? Oh, you want to have like a holidays, like a holiday right countryside?

Right, but you're going to like Maine or something right or like Canada?

No, no, no, you to intern as some like you know, office space and you don't know if if you're gay or not. So your rom com is like a man and a woman, Like you start off gay, but then you fall in love with your boss who's a woman.

Okay, interesting, So you're playing myself? Yes with this voice, I'm like confused about.

With this voice.

Yes, you're on them like, okay, I like, I've been with men all my life, but you fall in love with your boss who's a woman.

Who's I feel like I feel like okay, no, no, Andrew's a barista. No, no, no, Andrew, Andrew owns Andrew owns a His mother owned a bakery, yes, and uh, she's ill. So he has to go home to like help take care of the company business or whatever. And he like he reconnects with somebody, a teacher, a t a or something from school that's really right, right, right, right right, and but Andrew doesn't know this person is gay.

Stopped. The wedding. No Hold on Your Room Comes starts at Chick fil A.

Okay, I love it.

Problematic It's closed on Sunday, so the show it starts on a Monday. First. Yeah, the first thing is on Monday at Chick fil A. And you work there. Somebody comes in and they were like, help me with my wedding.

I want to have my wedding catered by chick exactly, my gay wedding. And then and then you basically fall in love with a person who's coming to get the Chick fil a for the wedding, and then you break up their wedding.

Yeah, that's it.

I love that. That's a good round chick fil gay something.

Oh okay, I'll see you're trying to do their names. We didn't name Sydney's.

What was Sydney's.

Sydney's movie is called har.

Ha.

Yeah, anyway, I'd watch all these movies. These are so good.

Well, this has been this has been very eventful.

Yeah, just just name a couple of things that you want for twenty twenty so we can end off strong two.

Okay, twenty twenty, I'm going to I'm gonna work on. I'm gonna not be twenty minutes late to things anymore. M okay, I'm gonna be early. Okay, hate being early to things, but i'm gonna be early.

In twenty twenty.

I'm gonna hold you to it. Well, I mean hold me too.

I'm gonna hold you, holds me into that, hold me to that. I want to I'm gonna sell something. I'm gonna create something and sell it. I don't know what the thing is yet, but I'm.

Gonna sell it. I'm gonna create something and then I'm gonna sell it.

And then the third thing that I want for the new year is just for my hair to always always be on point. It's not on point right now, but for it to always be like.

Wow, Marie, do you do You just do it every day? It's amazing. I'm gonna do all the colors of the rainbow. That's what I'm doing.

I'm roygbiving it next year, bell b devoting it my hair for the for the next year. That's what I want, healthy, dope hair. I want to be on time to things and I want to sell something dope. Sidney, what do you want for the new year twenty twenty?

What you see? Okay? First thing, I want to be happy? Okay, we love that cliche, but truly, I just want to feel joy for more than thirty minutes a day.

That's the opening monologue of the of Sydney's rom com Right there, you heart it. I just want to be happy, got it? I just want to feel joy.

Uber driver's name Joy. Oh, I just want to feel joy. That's a good title. You got it? Thanks? Can you write this?

Yeah?

I just want to feel joy? You being joy? No, by I work at the bakery with Andre and his mom, the mom that's about to die work. I love it, Yes, yes, yes, thank you. Okay, you want to feel joy number one? Joy first and foremost.

I feel like I want to know exactly what I want career wise, because I just don't know. Like I feel like I want all this stuff. But then I'm like, do I because I'm not really motivated to do it. And I want to take a really big trip. I'm going to take a really nice trip out of the country somewhere nice, been real money, obviously, something warm.

Something for more than three or four days.

Nice.

I want a nice trip that's gorgeous. You gon eat, pray, ho it. No, that's that's your story, sis, all right, Well I just I just want to go on a nice trip. M mkay. I mean, since you can go to where edge where you live, New Jersey, you go to New Jersey with you are actually you won't be And I just want to feel joy. Actually I'm a writer, dosis producer credit. Okay, Well, I guess that's it for us.

Thank you so much for listening. Please rate and comment. Actually, Andrew's going down the stairs, so I guess we have more time to talk. Yeah, I'm excited about everything that's happening in the new year. I really am, because I mean this year was a roller coaster.

Over the year, it was beautiful. You were you took us on a ride, Sis, thank you. So I feel like, what is next. You literally took us up, took us down, took us back up, took us back up again.

Sideways, Yeah, took us down, around and around.

You know, you were like coming a lot all summer long.

And now it's just who I got these? Doc Johnson's at the hell you're gonna be coming but all winter?

Yeah, bio self, no, no, no, no, you got it. Something new. I mean I feel like it's something on the horizon. Frint, what's going on now? I mean we don't have any time. The episode is about to end right now. No, tell me I start the story. What happened? No, nothing has happened. I'm just saying it's some things. It's some fangs, some wangs and dangalangs on the horizons. You're working on it.

I'm just you know, we'll see what happens. Also, I feel like there should be things on the horizon front. I should be banging people regularly. Twenty Have you gone on a date?

No, we are, y'all working on it. Y'all work. Are they cute? Sure? Yeah, they are very attractive. Oh, a delivery, it's more sex to it. Is it a man? Yeah, it's a man. What question?

I don't know, Marie Sidney, I know you just want to feel joy. Cut your hair, shut up, you know what. Let's cut the episode. I think I've been talking to you now.

Bye, guys, love you, Bye. Forever.

This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Scilio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts, please visit Foreverdog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following us on Twitter and Instagram at Forever Dog Team, and liking our page on Facebook.