Hot, Loud, & Wrong

Forever Grand Risings.

Yeah, so you know we we obviously spoke before the pod, and we're gonna be coming in a little hot, which is fine.

We coming in hot or you coming in hot? Andrew, don't speak for the heat coming off my body.

I mean like you're like, this is like a blanket term that you're throwing over all of us and it's just you.

I'm fine, right, Andrew, I'm fine.

I'm not pressed anything.

I'm not pressed about anything. We gotta move that the microphone.

Sorry, I'm I'm all the way back, I'm holding it.

Look how far it is your girl? I mean I turned my volume down and it's still loud in my ears. That's That's what I'm saying.

Well, maybe because you're using the iPhone headphones, it's a little different.

No, Sydney, don't do that. Miss I'm coming in hot, You coming in hot? Loud? And wrongs hot loud. Wrong, that's like Caesar's Pizza.

That's a great title. I'm fine, that's a good title. There was another one that we.

Missed, Sidney. It's been a minute. We're sixty seconds into the podcast, is okay, all right, we'll catch another episode title.

You're right, you're right.

So obviously I was saying something before the podcast, and they let me know that I need to I need to speak up more when I have an issue. I need to say how I feel instead of complaining to my counterparts.

And they're right, they're definitely right. But it's hard.

It's definitely hard when somebody writes you or they say something to you and you're like hmm, and then you wait on it and you're like, damn, I should have said X, Y and Z.

Well that's why it's important to like, like, I'll draft a text or draft a message sometimes and then I'll be like, you know what, I got to come back to this. I leave and come back and then sometimes you feel differently after you've had some time to think about it. But other times it's like, this is what I mean and this is what I'm sending, and I think that's nice too.

Do you ever have someone look at your text like to like review it?

Not really, I mean I've done that before. I think just like, is this is this okay? Yeah, because it's usually when I'm trying not to hurt somebody's feelings, I'm.

Like, oh, yes, yes, You've definitely been like what you think about this because I'm the kind person, and then you meet somewhere in the middle because you know that I'm too.

Kind, right, Usually I have to you know what I mean, because like when you're trying to spare somebody's feelings, or when I'm trying to spare somebody's feelings, it makes the whole conversation a little bit harder because when you don't have to think about it, you just say what you mean, and you mean what you say.

Andrew, Oh, yeah, I totally agree. I had like a situation a few months ago where, uh, it was a comedian that said something to me that was like very messed up, and they thought that it was a joke and they thought it was like very funny, and I was like, wait, I can't have a relationship with you anymore.

Oh what was whoa?

What was saying?

You don't you don't know this comedian.

I'm sure we don't. The comedians we would know would never speak to you like.

That, And well we don't even know what That's not true.

There are people that we all know, but they made they made some jokes that were in very bad taste.

Uh, Like we're trying to get the tea.

What did they say?

It's it was about like children, and I didn't like it, and I was like I need to lose ties, like like.

Like a bad like pedophilia joke.

Yeah, it was like I don't like that joke at all. Like that's like weird that your your mind even produced that.

We're not affiliating with comics that talk about pedophilia.

And so not really like yeah, yeah, I drafted an email and I like went off and I was like this was disgusting. I hated that. Dad sent it to a friend and the friend was like, you can't say any of that because that might come back and like bite you. It was like, oh, you were aware of this, and so I was like, oh.

You were aware of what of them being a creep?

Of this person being a creep. And then like if I was like aware of it, then it was like okay, then, Andrew, why didn't you intervene when it was just like okay, Andrew, but just like step away, but.

You sending that message, is you intervening? Yeah, no, I'll them on it.

Yeah no, because I just lied, and I was just like no, I can't work with you anymore.

It's just no, you oh you didn't want to even work with them? No.

I was like, I can't work with it because they they crossed like a few boundaries before and they were like who do you masturbate too? And stuff like that, and it was like, wait, sir, are like that he thought that we were and I was like no, no, no. In the first few times, I was like maybe this is like I don't know what this is. Trying to justify it, but it was just you know, but then.

Is this a straight man?

No?

Okay, oh wow what weird flirting?

Yeah?

You is it me?

Yeah? Very weird.

That's a good title. I don't know.

Yeah that I mean, you know, the thing is about like comedy and friendship and working especially comedy. The lines are very much blurred. They're so blurred you're like, oh, I feel like we're mad cool. But it's like, but we actually work together because I mean that this happens with me and Andrew, you know from time to time, and I like, when you, you know.

Put me in my place, tell me actually.

Do as me putting you in your place. I'm just like voicing concern for the record. Yeah, okay, I know, because I can clear Monday, Yeah, I do not want it to seem like Okay. When we end the recording, Andrew is like, Sydney, go back to your corner.

Yeah, my name, clear my name. I love that for you.

Clear my name.

Another beautiful title, y'all are on fire today?

You just you it's.

It was, It's not. It's not as as you well you know what's.

Got another title?

Maybe, yes, honestly it could be.

Today is my four year anniversary of being sober.

Yay clap clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap.

Clap, thank you.

And I'm feeling a little wonky today. I'm a little I feel like displaced or all over the place.

I don't know, but may mental, emotionally.

Mentally, emotionally, I think, you know, I'm leaving tomorrow to go to San Francisco or whatever, so I have to do all that stuff.

But I think, like I am, I am proud.

I am proud of where I am right now, but I'm also I feel I definitely fell all over the place. It's hard to articulate. But I don't want you guys to be worried. Don't be alarmed. I'm not gonna go like get a drink, but I definitely just I don't know how to describe this moment.

Well, I mean it's this is the longest you've ever been sober. Yes, so that is an accomplishment in itself, but also like something to like sit and reflect on, because I mean, we talked about this yesterday. You relapsed once before, and you know, this is something it's in my phone, It's in my phone, it repeats every year, and I think that, you know, sometimes maybe that's the wrong word that I want to use. I just think that it's something that obviously it changed your life forever.

Yeah.

I mean I remember when I relapsed and we were in Starbucks and I was crying, and you shed one thug tear for me over the empanadas, and I was like, okay.

Em banadas. We were eating banatas a Starbucks.

Starbucks.

There was like a little impanata truck on that corner and we brought it into Starbucks. And this sounds like that sounds like yeah, absolutely.

Oh my god.

I was so I was so disheveled in a mess and I didn't have no weaven. I had my my hair natural and shaved on the sides, and I was just like crying looking at it.

I remember that hair moment, sitting me with the natural hair for like a month.

Yeah, no, it was a couple of months.

But yeah, you were definitely affected and you were like, what are we gonna do?

Well? Because it's like, as somebody who is very new to this, but also somebody who's trying to be a good friend. This is this goes back to m making sure that I say the right thing so that I don't have hurt somebody's feelings. I also feel like for me, like I'm not trying to be selfish, but I have to be selfish sometimes, you know what I mean. Like if we're trying to create something together. We're trying to work together, and you can't you for whatever reason, can't

Yeah, you know, we were trying to take pictures, were trying to We're trying to change outfits.

It was like, I was like, why are we even taking photos? I don't know.

We loved it was the same day it was. It was the same day we had. We had a photo shoot that day and you didn't have hair. No, I didn't have hair. I have the pictures that guy Sean, that guy Sean Sean, that's.

Where we know him from.

Yeah, I want you guys to know that if Marie looks at you like she doesn't know you, it's.

It's not because I don't. It's no, I don't. I will forget your face and your name and then people will come up to me. Actually, I bumped into him on the street ones and he's like Marie, hey, and I was like hello, and.

Yeah we were at old to babbel and he was truly trying to have a conversation with you, and you were your eyes were cross eyed.

You were like what is this.

You're like, why is he talking to me?

Like he knows me, you know, And I had to whisper, like pictures photos.

He took photos of us, and I was like, photos.

A photo, You're still trying to think about it? It was it was so many years ago though, to be honest, to be fair, it was like five years ago, so I know.

But also like, can we be honest about this. If you bump into me in the streets and I'm giving you the who that is face, just give me some context cues. Clues, Give me some context clues so I can be like, oh right, Fire Island nineteen sixty nine or whatever, like give me some.

Well, you know what it is.

It's like people, it's also ego because it's kind of like, so, wait, you don't know me, Like we've we had that moment, but like the moment you thought we had that was your moment.

That was our.

Moment, right, that was your moments, sweetie, wasn't a moment for me. Did something memorable happen the last time we hung out? If it did, then maybe I'll it'll be easier for me to remember. But if like we just met once and had a conversation, you know, while sneaking food into a Starbucks, then I don't know if I'm gonna remember you.

It's a tough one.

It's a tough one, but because like people want to feel known important and important, especially from you, my friend. So like nobody wants to be like, ah, you know that comedy show. They want to be in the street. Because it's also kind of embarrassing, like when you're in public and you're like hey and the person is like, uh, they're not giving you the same energy back because they're just trying to figure out who the fuck are you.

Yeah, but we've all seen somebody waving and wave back like do I know this person? Yeah, and then you look behind you and you're like, oh, it wasn't even that wasn't even for me.

Yeah.

That hurts too. That definitely hurts. I am not here for that. It's like, if you meant to wave to somebody else, still wave at me, Still wave wave back at.

Me, right, I mean, Sidney is somebody. If you wave at somebody, they should be honored that you're waving back. So that but also like, I mean, it's embarrassing, but it's kind of funny too. We've all been there and you're like, who me, I thought you meant me. I don't know. Maybe you can meet the love of your life that way. Who are someone who's listening.

Okay, sounds like a rom com.

That's what I'm saying. It's like Made in Manhattan, except someone's waving at you and you're like yes, and they're not looking at you, but now they are. There's a conflict somewhere. You get married. J Lo's in that movie. I think it's coming out in the fall.

Yeah, j Loo, Jlo j Lo.

I'm like, when is she gonna wrap this up with Ben? I'm tired of seeing the photos.

You think the sex between them is cute, Like, do you think they're having good sex?

I can't say. I can't say.

He looks miserable in every photo and every photo with her. He looks like, damn, dude, why do we gotta be out with this? Why can't we just be hiding in like another country doing Why do we have to be in la He doesn't look he doesn't look comfortable.

I watched the Justice League movie and he looked like he didn't want to be there either. He was like slappy slavn Batman. I said that Brooks what men didn't do, not to sit up, not a push up, not one arm curl. He just showed up to set and he was like I don't even make up. I'm gonna do a little BB cream and I'm ready for the cameras. It was he he looked shoveled.

He said, y'all know my brand. What's good?

Sloppy dad, sloppy single dad.

Yeah.

But I'm saying, though, I feel like she's like glowing in every like picture. She's upset, that's face tuned. No, but caparazzi, come on. I think that like they are obsessed with one another. How can they not be.

I think j Low is obsessed with herself, and I think image is very important to a woman like that, and she knows where the cameras are at all times because she may be calling them or not. But I don't think that her looking good. Look yeah, he looked. He looks stressed. At least he has on a clean cream sweater. They look fat.

That looks like the painting of like the two Farmers.

That's a pitchfork, Yeah, because Jlo, Because if Jlo has a track soon it Yeah, but Jlo makes these dudes where fucking color coordinated, similar outfits. It's like she'd be low key emasculating them sometimes, Like I could tell that they think that they do stuff because she wants it that way.

I wanted way you.

And nothing. But uh, wasn't that song number one on TRL for like ten years or something. It was like a year. Yeah, I don't know. I've never wanted to match with a man that I was dating. Yeah, it's maybe maybe I've never been in love, but I've never wanted you were that and I were this. I mean, if we both show up somewhere and we kind of accidentally matched, then that's funny to me.

But I mean, the thing is is that.

I think if you have really good chemistry and like you guys hang out a lot, you're just randomly start wearing similar outfits.

Well it's not even about the chemistry if they can dress cute. I'm wearing that sweater, this jacket is mine today. Oh my god? Did I accidentally right? I'm taking your stuff?

Yeah?

I mean I have stuff from What's his Face? That I wear?

What's his Face? I love that that we don't even know his name.

But what's his face is?

What is his face? His face? Great title?

Wait, speaking of what's his face? So I was at an event the other day. It was like a weed infused dinner and I went with Carolina because you know, I was like, people are like, oh, I want to come, I want to be a high with you, blah blah blah blah. And I was like, well, there's a list, but Carolina was the first person that I thought of, so she's the one who got the invite. And so we're at this thing and you could tell there's money

I was turned on.

Wow, Wow, Okay, it was so Sidney. Why do you not wet? Let's talk about it. Who do you masturbate to? So I could tell there was like art people in there, and it was like startup money in there, look like money. At one point I walked by this table and this old old like don I missed type man was like, you are wearing their drill and I was like, he can cow and he asked me to sit at his table and I was like, no, I'm you know, Caroline's right over there. He was like, well, this guy's getting

Right.

I could tell this guy was rich just based on how hard they were laughing at his jokes at the table, right, Like, I was like, he must have paid for everybody's ticket at this table, because they have to, right, Like you know when someone's like not really that funny, but you're like it was that.

It was that they do on The Bachelor all the time. Yeah, they're losing it.

That's what they.

Do, right, because you want them to think that you love them or that they're great. I don't know. Anyway, found out later that this man was a billionaire, Like what there were two billionaires at that event, and he was one of the richest people in the room. And I said, I sensed that and I should have sat my ass down. And it's just actually kind of devastating for me because they said they said he gives women ten thousand dollars in cash just for fun. I said, I like fun and I like cash.

So and you just and you were so concerned with getting back to Carolina for what Like I was confused.

Carolina literally has never given me money in my life, and not one bit, not a not a twenty not even twenty dollars. Yeah, they said she's and my source said he has a broken hip so he can't have sex work. I said, this is my type of sugar daddy, broken hip and billionaire and generous and didn't and didn't he just buy a hotel. He just bought a hotel downtown.

Lord, have mercy, Jesus Christ.

We could have we we could have been at a pool this summer, Marie.

I mean, we can still be at a pool that summer.

Sist.

But yeah, I really fumbled the bag on that one. And the next event, I'm not bringing Caroline now, I'm gonna bring a young, hot single friend that is more desperate than me. Maybe desperate is the wrong word, but a young, hot single friend that just wants to do everybody in the room so that like we can all mingle and then reconvene and compare notes after the event. You know what I mean?

Oh, I was like, I mean I am. I'm like, I'm your hot friend that likes to mingle, but you.

Don't smoke wheedsis no, No, you're right. And it's a dinner for wheat. Like everything had weed in it. It was all infused. It was really good. But what you said, you're gonna bring a brown bag lunch. We're gonna be eating duck breast and you're gonna be eating what of lunch?

No of beef patty with Swiss cheese. I love a beef patty with Swiss cheese. It really be rocking my world. Honey, Swiss cheese, Swiss cheese, Swiss, Swiss Swiss cheese.

Wait, Murray, was this guy hot? No?

No, it was not, Andrew, I think most most did you hear me say, don I miss? Wasn't he like melted candle wax? He looked like the candle from Beauty and the Beast.

That one went over my head.

Yeah yeah?

And how many? How many billionaires do you know?

That hot?

Oh? I mean we've talked before. I think that Bill Gates isn't terrible looking. I know I wouldn't say that he's hot.

I just I'm googling hot billionaires. Yeah, let's let's.

See who comes up, truly truly worried about you that you said Bill Gates is not terrible. Now I want to I want to check your glasses.

How about Kylie Jenner? I mean, huh, are we including can you?

Can you leap that out? Can you that name out? So people? We don't we don't talk about those people here.

That's that's new money. I'm talking about billionaires that have been billionaires. They've been billionaires, been billionaires. That's a good title. Think be ben benionaires.

Because there's this Norwegian guy named Gustave Magnar with zo. He looked like he might could be your type.

Andrew, Oh, he's cute.

One point six billion, Marie. That's all white dudes, the heir to H and M.

Marie t what if you just start liking these dudes instagrams?

See if they see if they bite?

You don't think other people are liking their instagram?

Now? I don't.

I don't.

You don't think that they have like a b mall skinny blond girl with cities attached to them at all times?

I don't. I truly don't. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm like I don't have any hope.

I'm like, who is Like, I'm like, please go to their Instagram and see what they're even posting. I feel like their last post is from like twenty nineteen.

Right, People who are like really really rich and busy business owners are they don't really care about social media? Why would they?

Yeah, they're not posting to their own account way right right?

They definitely have a fence to Okay, this guy that started snapshot four billion dollars?

What do he look at?

I'm Sydney, let's start an app. He looks like a puffy Bruno Mars. He looks like the guy from Insecure that was dating Molly.

Don't believe me, Just watch he does. Wow, you are You're good with these description.

And then this is the oldest billionaire on the list. Let's look, let's Travis Kallinick six point three billion dollars.

He's not even old.

Well, he was born in nineteen seventy six. I don't know how old this photo is.

Oh okay, because it looked like he ain't got no top teeth though, Oh he ain't got no top teeth or top or top lipt top lip. Yeah, top top lift gone front teeth gone.

Okay, but now let's talk about it. Sidney. Yeah, so if you were single, yes, and you were at it was you in that situation and the man said, actually, Andrew, this question goes to you as well. And this man, who clearly had money, I felt it. I felt it in my Haitian poor ass bones, not poor middle class bones. I was like, this man owns a franchise or something. The energy coming off of his old ass was like. I was like this, this person has money, but a lot of it. So somebody like that says to you,

I mean, girl, I told you about the time that I went on a date with one of the biggest art dealers in the world and I was looking at him like, oh, he looked regular degular to me. But then I ended up going going to dinner with him, going to lunch, and then back at his townhouse and then and then I finally googled and I was like, oh, bitch, I definitely fumbled it back. But he wanted to like cook up and I just couldn't. But I definitely would have hung out. We were out in the sun. The sun was on.

People could see, they could see both of you guys. Yeah, it was Now how much older was he? Oh?

Girl?

At least thirty thirty thirty five years older?

Oh I was like he was thirty, No, thirty five years old. Wait, Andrew, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna show you a picture of the guy because.

I was twenty four twenty five. I'm gonna say he was close to.

Fifty five.

Okay, I mean, but fifty five a black fifty five. No, it was not different than a white fifty five.

It was not a it was not a white fit.

It was not a black bege fifty five is different.

It was not a black fifty five at all. It was not even an Asian fifty five. Oh yeah, but look at the girl. Look at the girl sitting next to him, I see, yeah, look at her. Look at her like she looked at his face like she's in she's in the photo, but it's it's vacant behind the eyes.

Listen. I would let that man give me ten thousand dollars in cash, and I might even let him like you know, bloohimed a little bit, you know, like.

What did you even talk to this man about? What were the conversations like, don't do that.

I'm just saying, answer that question. What were y'all talking about?

I mean I talked to him about he well, he was an art dealer, so I told him, it's so funny. He was laughing at me. He thought I was so funny, but he was laughing for the wrong reasons. But I was like, yeah, I used to work at the Whitney Museum. And he's like, oh, did you what did you do?

I was like a curator, You're so sweet.

Yeah, no, no, no, he was I'm thinking like I'm doing something like I'm flex and he was like, oh really, so what did you do at the Whitney Museum And I was like, I was like, I was a youth insight. He's like, on, I was like a docent. I was like a young docent and I would do tours for like kids and senior citizens. And he's like, oh my god, that's incredible. But at the time I thought that he was like pleased with that, but he was totally shading me the whole time.

He was like, you were a child.

Yeah, he was kicking, he was kekying at me.

I was like I was, I was like, oh my god, I loved Ellsworth, Kelly, you know, Andy Warhol.

Like I'm shooting off names.

I don't know who Elsworth is. So it sounds like you know art to me.

Yeah, But he's like that's he's like, that's like basic, like he's he's an art dealer, Like so he knows the names before, like everybody before they're in the Whitney Museum, Like he knew about Damien Hurst before Damian Hurst.

Blew up.

Sidney. Honestly and truly, this is kind of hot that you know all these artists. I don't know none of these Damien Hurst. I'm writing it down so when I do speak to a billionaire, I could say yes at the house, Yeah right, Damian? You know Damian and I where do I know him from?

Well?

If we ever went to what is that in Miami? They like art Basil art, bosel. If you go there, we'll learn about all this stuff. We'll like learn about the cutting edge artists that are now like selling their pieces for a million dollars or whatever.

H should we start doing art? Because I would like to sell a million dollar thing. How does an artist become like, how does an artist blow up in twenty twenty one?

I think it's like.

For some reason for what I've seen, some of it has been chance, some of it it's been connects. Some of it's like, you know, the right person, you like, somebody has an eye for art, sees it, and then boom, everybody's jumping on that bandwagon.

It doesn't even have to be good. It doesn't even have to be that good.

But Damien Hurst was doing something that was like he was taking butterflies, like obviously actual butterflies, actual butterflies that are not alive, and like putting it to like a painting, but then drawing the rest of the butterflies like with paint. So some of the butterflies are real, but you you don't know, you can't really tell. Like the painting looks so close to the real butterflies that it was incredible.

So he was murdering butterflies.

I'm pretty much.

Oh, they used to have his art at your old job. Yeah, girl, I remember the dots.

Yep, the dots. Oh yeah, million for dots, just dots.

Well that's the thing, right is people are sheep. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what it is. If other people tell you something is hot, Yes, there are people who will just believe it. A lot of people don't have taste. They got money, but they don't have no taste.

Money with no taste. That's a great title, thank you. That's not that's not us though, that's not us.

We have tastes well anything.

No money but taste, No money but taste.

Actually that's a better title.

I like that, right, but like because like Cardi B has money but no.

Taste, you don't think she has taste?

Sis those first of all, Burken bags to me have always been ugly. They look like very ugly briefcases. And I understand that it's a status symbol. I don't understand.

Why foolish it's a waste of money.

Yeah, literally thousands, like a forty thousand dollars briefcase. Girl, if you don't take your ass to the DJ Max.

It's just like no, but it's also like a briefcase but also bowling ball bag. Like, yes, it doesn't look like like fashion.

No, but if you, I mean, if you're gonna say something doesn't look like fashion and a wind Tour is like the most well known person in fashion and Nothing about her is fashionable to me.

I don't know.

The baang, the shortcut, the bang and the sunglasses feels like fashion.

To me, it's iconic. But to me it's like she's not. She never invented any like hot, you know what I mean. I mean like she she wears what she wears. It's always like a tweed suit moment. It's always a coward She just I don't know, she said, don't get it.

She said, I am not the body for the fashion that I have the eye for, but I'm gonna be the curator of the fashion.

Which is fine. You could do that.

I think you can have a good eye for something and you're like, but I'm still gonna have my own.

Look, that's that's okay.

I don't know if I would say that she is a good isis? I mean, you've seen these Vogue USA covers. They are of all the Vogue covers in the world, usually the weakest.

Okay, come through. Wow, I usually I didn't know.

Now this is kind of hot that you're telling me about these Vogue covers.

Look at look at what Vogue India is doing, Look at what Vogue Arabia is doing, Look at what Vogue even like Japan, Like their covers are just better the American than the American covers. They're better, they're better magazines.

You heard that, you heard it here first.

People also remember Andre Leon Talley. He was showing up in a hefty, hefty, hefty bag and he was like, this is and it was like, sir, sis bleats, y'all are the tops of the American fashion world and this is how you showing up. Yeah, but I think that's a snuggie.

Hold on, hold on, Marie, But I think that is the tea. Like the people who have the most money, the most influential people in the room usually don't look it. They don't look it. Whenever I would work at a rose bar, the people who were the most well known are the most important. Was just wearing like a regular like blacktop, black pants.

That's that's different. That's business. This is fashion. This is fashion. You showing up to it, like I understand. Like the people who are the richest, you know, the Mark Zuckerberg's, the what's his name, the one that died the iPhone do with the sweater, Steve Jobs, Steve Jobs, They're wearing the same thing. They don't have time they got money on their mind. They're not worried about what they're wearing.

But why would you think that a person who's wearing sunglasses like in inside of buildings all the time, it's gonna look out for you. Oh, I just don't see it. She don't see it. That's why she got the shade though. And that's why.

She got the shade. Honey, she don't see you.

But I'm saying, like the movie The Delaware's Prada was based on what's supposed to be based on Anna Wintour. Merrill was serving looks in that movie. The hair was doing something cool, Like Anna Wintour is giving Kate Spade is giving white woman from Nantucket pearl necklace. It's not giving high fashion to me. Yeah, it's not giving edgy. It's just like, like who rich Auntie is that? Like

I love I love Marie talking her shit. You know what is fast shan for me? Like I'm always looking at the price tag, Like I'll look at the things that I like, I like at the things that I want, and then the things that I like, you know, maybe a couple of degrees away. But you know, you can't, you can't follow the trends. You you in order to be a trendsetter, you have to look at something and see that it can Marie showing pictures of Anna Wintour dragging.

Her She looks like a college professor, Marie dragging.

Yeah, but these this, but these are the people. These are the people that we give the power to.

Who is we? We ain't give no power to her? And A Winter has been alive and a Windoor have been at Vogue longer than we've been alive.

Really how long?

I don't know.

I'm like, how long is how old she.

Is at the met gala? I mean, this is truly probably the most the best thing that I've seen on her. How old is Anna Wintour? Let's guess how I told you think she is?

I think she's sixty.

Oh she's English. I didn't know that. I don't know if I've ever heard her speak. She's seventy one. Whoa and she's a dame, Dame Anna Wintur, And she's been at Vote, she's been the editor, and she've had Vokee since nineteen eighty eight. I was right, yeah, talk about talk about job security.

Girl.

You know, you know how many people she low key had to murder. You don't just you don't stay at a job that long because you do a good job.

Okay, you are. You are fucking over people left and right.

Since we saw the devil wors Broad I remember Miranda had a little list. Yeah, she said, if you fire me. This is a list of photographers, designers, people that will never work for your magazine. And it's like, yeah, Anna know where all the bodies are buried? Anna, Yeah, she's been stepping on people and over people to stay where she's at and I don't know she's still doing it.

Yeah, Honestly, to be that committed, it's kind of hot. The commitment of being like the bad guy is it's it's cute.

I like it.

For her commitment to being the bad guy.

I couldn't I couldn't see her being nice. Like if she was nice, I'm like, does she have dementia?

What's going on? What's she going through?

Well, certain people you don't expect them to be nice now, Like I don't expect Mariah Carey to be nice.

I think she's guarded. I think you have to be guarded. You have, Like you were trying to explain that to me last week. A Lah, you know, Sidney's Sidney's doing too much. Everybody don't need to be your friend. And it's true, like you you have to protect yourself, especially in the public. These people, like you said, they think they know you, they think you owe them something because you they support you.

She doesn't.

I don't know how nice I'm gonna be. If I blow up, you.

Still gonna be a nice girl. Don't do that. You're still gonna be like if you look at me, oh my god, take my number, Dad, Like you're still gonna do that. Don't don't do Destney. You're You're not gonna change into a mean Disney villain. But I'm saying, like certain celebrities you see them, and they seem nice, they seem chilly. Mariah Carey has earned her diva status guarded or not. I don't think any like I don't. I don't think that if I met her, she would be

Yeah, you said that, like at a certain level, you earn the right to be diva and like rude to other people.

No, no, no, no, no, I don't no, no, no, I don't think.

You said something about like she's earned like this diva status and.

By earned the diva status, Okay, but.

Like byva's status, are you saying that like diva in like a good diva like or bad way where it's like demanding the M and m's being rude to interns whatever.

I don't know about. I just think, look, Mariah Carey has had a really long career. Yeah right, she's been out probably the same amount of time Anna been editor in chief. But she you know, she's got the records, she's got the you know she has She's proved herself to be one of the top to ever do it. So yeah, I feel like the diva thing is like the cockiness that comes with like knowing that you're the best at what you're doing and no one else can

But also, let me tell you another thing I don't like these labels about like diva, intimidating not nice? Are these are ways to describe a woman that you deem as powerful and you're upset about that, Like because just because you don't feel like you can speak up. Oh, that person is intimidating and it's mean. It's just like, no, that person is not kissing your ass and all up on you. That doesn't make them intimidating.

Yeah, but diva's not a bad word. Diva's not a bad word. The definition of diva is a famous female singer of popular music, or a self important person who is temperamental and difficult to please.

Yes, that's the one that people are using diva for.

It's usually well, yeah, but I think you have to earn you got to be you have to be popular, famous before you can be a diva. You can't be a diva if you haven't accomplished anything. Oh no, yes, yeah, you can't be a diva if you haven't accomplished anything. And if you're difficult to please, it's like you've been good at what you've done for so long that you have a certain level, Like you set a certain standard for everybody around you. Okay, all right, Like if like,

Yeah.

Right, a lot of these people are dealing with like high pre your situations. They can make or break something, so like, yeah, they're not gonna be as calm as somebody who's working a regular, regular nine to five.

But also it's like you got to compete with the people who come after you. You got to compete with the people who are coming up behind you doing the thing that you did so well for so many years. Yeah, and I think a lot of people, a lot of celebrities, a lot of those people can't you already know they can't handle getting older. That's why people are like getting filler and boattox and like you know, trying to keep

It's scary getting older, Marie, It's scary, like it, like, you know, you don't feel in, you don't feel current. Everybody wants to feel relevant. And you know, now that I'm seeing what is a gen z x Y elemental P whatever, I'm I feel like, damn, I'm out of the loops stuff that they're talking about. I'm like, none of this shit matters. It's not good, you know. I like, I remember when music videos were the thing you would go. You're like, oh, I'm running home. I want to see

Yeah, so the videos are very much the same. It's a lot like I mean, if Cardi B Is featured on it, mute the video, Mute the video, and it's basically the same. Video every time, Like, I mean.

Did you we all?

I mean everybody saw Normani's new I.

Have not seen the video, but I heard the song and.

You're and you know you're not featuring it.

It's one of those songs where you got to watch the video and to enjoy it.

I think the video is very good. I read the visual.

Yeah, right, the song, it's one of those.

You Cardy, The Cardi b feature was unnecessary.

I think, ah, unnecessary.

Why.

I think I thought it brought the song down. I think it was just like weird and it was just like Cardi was like, hey, I have this feature. Do you want this? I don't know. I just felt weird and out of place.

Hmm.

Yeah. But I like how she says muglare.

Card I have no problem with her. I like her music, but I just like some of her features are a little weird.

Well, she's the hot She's the hot thing, the hot new thing. If you can get a Cardi feature or a meg meg the Stallion feature, or like there's like very specific people if you can get them on your song, and it's like it's a hit because the kids don't like it. Yeah, people are gonna listen to it because Cardi's on it to see what she's talking about.

She's fun, she's fun, she's she doesn't make herself too seriously and that's what that's what we need.

People take themselves to.

Yeah, this is like, come on now, we need to listen to the fucking old.

Like older songs, people are just like either talking about how amazing they are or how they're love sick, are heartbroken. That's that used to be all the songs.

I mean.

Eastern Ragees put out a tweet that was so funny it went viral and everybody was talking about it because she was talking about uh like old R and B music videos.

Yes, yeah, she.

Said, let's see, let's see where it is.

It's like it's not the same anymore. And then someone quote tweeted it and was like, it's because you're not like women today aren't worth fighting for.

Something, right, yeah she.

And then she was like, you're she was making reference to that person who responded their header where they were drinking a bottle of water that said black women on it and didn't.

Yeah. She wrote.

The tweet is listening to mint conditions breaking my heart and realizing that a lot of music niggas today aren't dramatic and desperate enough for me? And another man wrote, because y'all ain't worth it?

What?

Yeah, Anthony Hamilton was the last one begging for his woman. He was so distraught he couldn't take a bath, a bath.

Oh my god.

They said, lyrics aren't dramatic. Music videos aren' dramatic. Jodasy was in the damn desert crying because Shorty was gone for an hour.

An hour.

In the desert crying.

He said, you could take my money, my house, my cars. The song cry for You. I mean it's true. I mean that was I mean imagine this was like kind of like an error, a little bit like before us. But yeah, those guys really knew how to be Like, I want you back, come back, please, I'm begging. I'm begging, beggy, begging.

Prince said, it's been seven hours and fifteen days since you took your love away.

Yeah.

I just I think though, that like when people used to make music, they made music, they were writing music. One a lot of people artists now not writing their own music. People write the songs, they sing them. So like when you write your own song, I feel like it means something. I think that's why people connect with Adele so much. Yeah, because you know she was heartbroken, you know what I mean, And everyone has been heartbroken or like somebody who did them dirty in some way

Yeah. Yeah, but R and B.

I mean, dudes, really, ah, I'm gonna say something problematic, but then like all these guys were like begging and please come back, and then we're like, uh, you're thirsty, like get a grip, get off me.

But are we Are we saying that now or we're no, I don't think that. I don't agree with that, Sydney. If the guy was like I miss you so much, I love you, I'm gonna die without you, I'd be like ill. But in the back of my mind, I'd be like, look, how much you should be obsessed with me?

You know what I mean?

Like we we want people to be obsessed with us, not in like a you know, Beyonce obsessed that's my man way, but like that's the that to me is like, oh, that person actually cares about me. If you say you love me and then I leave and you don't try to fight for me a little bit, I'm like, ugh, cause cause you know, I'm walking away, but I'm gonna walk slow so you can like catch up. But like, if you just let me go, then that means this

But also it feels kind of good, like even if okay, so this is again, I'm I'm a mess. When somebody doesn't give you the energy that you want, you want them more when they're pressed, You're like, ugh, you know.

No, I mean in certain instances, yes, you want people to be persistent, you want them to come find you. And there's something that there's something about the human mind that makes people who aren't like people who ignore us kind of more mysterious and hotter to us sometimes. Yes, but I'm saying if we work together, I'm talking about in the songs that these guys are singing for these

The street for a you know what. And actually that's what you deserve. And the fact that I have not gotten one DM like what can I do to make this better?

Crazy?

That's why he's what's his name, what's his face, what's his I don't know, I don't know his fucking name.

Well, literally, there's nothing that he can do to make it better. But I'm except change everything. But I'm saying, like.

Throw the whole body away and come back somebody else.

That's how you get Yeah, yeah, he need to be reincarnated as someone else to come back. But I'm saying, like, there we want that even if you're done with the person. And maybe it's maybe it's partial, you want to see them in pain. Maybe it's partial you want like it's like a pride thing, But I need to see you distressed in a desert, crying, counting the days. It's been seven hours and fifteen days. I need you to know what time it was when I left you, what moon

I mean truly, I don't even know what I could do to make a song like what I'm like, hmm, I'm tired.

I don't have it in me.

What's the last what's the last time you had your heartbroken? We could write the song, we could work shop the song right now.

I wouldn't say heartbroken, but I was definitely like, ah, man, you know, like I was doing too much. Person was like, yeah, I'm not ready for this, and I was like Bourguet, Yeah, but you.

Were really you were sad. Sis, You were like really like it took a couple I want to say a couple of days. It might have been more than days, but like you were sad about it.

I think that it was also, uh, you know, pandemic happening.

So write Sis, but that's the song. This situation is what you would write the song about.

Okay, all right, so.

Girl, it's a pandemic. It's a pandemic.

Girl, girl, it's girl.

We've been stuck in the house for months, months on months on months. I thought our face times meant something.

You threw it?

Are you rapping? Now?

Should I even be writing this?

Wait?

Wait?

Wait, wait wait here, here's a line, here's a line. You could use this. Okay, Uh, it's a pandemic. We're locked in the house, but I'm locked out of your heart.

Oh wow, wow, oh you.

Write this down. But yeah, I just think that, like, instead of being cool, which is what all music feels like. Now, yeah, you gotta like, you gotta be vulnerable. You know, I hate that word.

Oh you Marie hates vulnerability. It's just not like it makes you be like h ill.

Yuh cause it really does. The word is yucky to me. But that's the difference. Like those songs, those guys are like pleading for their women to come back to them. Anthony Hamilton, Yeah, please come home, Charlene, And it's like Charlie, Charlene is going.

Bab Yeah, she's already on.

She's got a layover and Charleston and she's she's headed somewhere else. She's she's unavailable, right, Charlene is on the road. Baby, Marie, when's the last time you got your heartbroken? What would your song be?

Well, would my song be? Yeah, I don't know what my song would be, Sis, it would be probably something about wasting my time. It would be a song about time. Yeah, wow, yeah.

I do you really think that people are wasting your time?

Though?

Like I it's everything that you go through is it's meant to learn something.

You've learned a lot, yeah, like not to let people

Andrew, for sure, what do you think about heartbreak? No, about somebody wasting your time?

Somebody wasting my time. It's annoying because like there are people that are like they know that they're doing it and it's just like a fuck boy sort of thing where it's like they're just going around person to person. They're just like they're not laying down anywhere, but they do it so well and they know exactly the thing to make you think like, oh, this person actually gives a shit about me. But then right, and then when they go on little hiatus, it's like you're thinking about

Right, So, Andrew, have you ever been heartbroken? Got your heartbroken?

I mean when you were talking Sydney about like like pandem like heartbreak and like that sort of being emphasized by that because like last year, like one of my close friends from college just completely dipped and I was just like, I don't know what's going on with you, Like hmm, I am not hearing from you. And then you know, I sent text messages every so often, I was like hello, like what's going on, reached out to people.

Like why everything fuck?

And I was just like are you kidding? Like you've been over to my house. We've got gone on trips together. Gave me no reason as to like why, like they just dip and I'm just like that sucks.

And I'm just like, so you don't so you don't know what you did to be blocked on all these This sounds like that message that we got from that girl the other the other day, and when I went on the date with the girl, and the.

Girl like oh yeah.

Yeah, why why? What the fuck is wrong with people?

It's crazy? Yeah, what the fuck is wrong?

Like just say why?

Like give somebody at least one, just give me one good read.

And so then like like two months ago, two months ago, like my friend group from college, we were all in uh student government together and they were like all hanging out and doing something and one of my friends who it was invited to this this outing, noticed that I wasn't part of it and was like, hey, can Andrew come? And then they got a private DM saying like hey, this person doesn't like Andrew anymore, but won't tell them, And I'm like, why not? Why not tell me?

Have you and you can't reach out to them because you're black?

I can't reach out to them. I have no clue, and it's like, well, I have their number, but.

Nobody, but nobody infiltrated to find out why I don't like you.

I mean, like, I think that if if it was like if my friend Amanda was like, hey, why does this person not like Andrew, then they wouldn't tell because they would know that Amanda would come back to me and be like, this is the reason.

No, No, I need you. I need you to use your words and tell me why Amanda Amanda just because should have been like doesn't like Andrew? What happened?

Yeah, what happened.

And if this person, if your friend is asking me if you can come, then they already know that they're gonna tell, like she's gonna tell you what they say.

It is so stupid.

I don't know.

I think I think that that is just like that's just a weird way to live your life. On one hand, I understand you something no longer aligns with how you feel or the person that you are, come out, move on right, life goes on. But then on the other hand, it's like we're adults. If I did something to offend you or I did something to upset you, tell me so I can rectify it and know that like, oh my god, I didn't even realize I was doing this. I'm never gonna do it again.

Yeah. Yeah, Because I think like if it was like a romantic relationship, I think it's like a little bit more okay to do that, like ghosts. I don't think ghosting is usually okay, but I but I think like with a friendship, I think it's like.

Very ghost friend I don't I don't understand, Like, how does it get to the point where you're like I don't even want to I don't even want to talk to them.

I don't even want to talk to them.

Like, you didn't sexually assault your friend, You didn't like, did you steal money?

No?

Nothing. The last time I saw them, like they just got their their green card and I was like, let's throw like let's I'm gonna help you plan a party. That was the last time I saw them.

Did you plan the party?

I plan the party?

Was it a good party?

It was a good party. Yeah. And I bought drinks for their friends too, And I was like, why'd I even do that if I was just gonna get ghosted later on? Dumb?

Yeah, I don't understand. This is weird.

This is strange, and I I wish we had some spies to find out because now I'm interested.

Now I'm invested.

At this point, I'm like, I don't care, like I think when I get sad, Like I go to that place and I'm like, why did this person goes? Yeah, because it sucks, But like.

That's their problem and they're missing out on you because you're a good friend.

It's so true, Sydney, and you're fun.

You and you planned a party and then and you're buying drinks for friends. Listen, I'm drawing the line there. I plan the party, but I'm buying drinks for your friends. Did they get their green cards? Too? Are they my friend? Did you say something? Maybe you left a bad tip and they saw it, Like.

I don't know, and I don't know about it.

Yeah, okay, wait, let's let's let's let's let's not do that no more. Let's not ghost our friends. If you can ghost your friend, then was that your friend in the first place.

Yeah, if you have an issue with somebody, just fucking be an adult. Hey, you hurt me when you x y z I felt blah blah blah when you da da da da da, Like how use your words? What you can't communicate? This is strange. It's getting weird. Yeah, it's getting weird. I see, all right, all these fucking captions, these dissertations on Facebook. But then you can't tell somebody, hey, you hurt me when blah blah blah you made me uncomfortable Da da da da da.

I don't fuck with.

You, because fuck with you. But but then, but it brings me back to what I was saying about people fighting for me after a relationship ends. If you're not fighting for the friendship or you're not trying to like mend something, then were we friends? Like I thought we were friends. I planned you a green car party?

Yep, Marie?

Would you fight for me?

Would I fight for you?

You're like, would you fight for our friendship?

I think that I would. I mean, since I shed a tear at a Starbucks into an empanada for you once, that was me fighting that one tier was me fighting.

For you, shed a tear into a panada. That's my title. That's it. That's it, that's my title right there?

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, okay, Andrew, can you run through the titles for us? Or should we read this message? That we got from this guy.

Uh, yeah, I think the the email that I sent you yesterday I thought was very interesting.

Yeah, I want to read it. We got a message from a listeners. The title of the email is asexual and still a hoe. Hey, my name is BJ and I listened to the recent episode We're Sidney and we're talking about asexuals, and I wanted to let y'all know I'm asexual. I'm a black, pan sexual, gender queer asexual, pan sexual, gender queer asexual.

I had to google all of those and what does that mean?

Will pan sexual is attracted to all types of everything? Well, it said, I think pots and pans. I think pots are cute too, and then gender queer to me feels redundant, but you know, it is what it is. And asexual. So I'm a black but also black, so black, pan sexual, gender queer asexual who has had sex and still has sex sporadically. Most people assume I'm a hoe because of my Instagram, but I typically only have sex three times

I love it.

Please send me tell me, yeah, tell me what it is so that Yeah.

Please send us the link to your turtlenick sleeve shawl things so we can give one for Sydney.

Yes.

Yeah, So Andrew thought the email was interesting. Why did you think it was interesting? I?

Well, I guess I I was under the assumption that pant sexual and asexual were sort of at odds with another and that they wouldn't really work together. So I do have a question in that regard. But I guess they're listening to this episode, so maybe they'll kind of follow up explaining.

Well, yeah, because we were talking about asexual Sydney wanted an insexual expert podcast.

I did. I did ask for that.

Yeah, Andrew, I agree with you. Pant sexual and asexual to me, do seem like they're on opposite ends of right, because a pan sexual is attracted to the spectrum of everything right and asexual. In my mind, I thought meant didn't really need anything from anybody.

We are confusion, confusion, confucion. Yeah, I am confusion right now.

Yeah, I mean I think that. But that's the thing, like if there's something for everybody, and everybody should be allowed to live their lives how they want to live their lives. That's I think that's what this new generation what is it disease the exes, that's what they got on us, is like it's easier to be what you want to be now than it.

Was before Generation element op.

Qrs. Any follow up questions for our friend BJ anything you guys feel like we need to We left out that we need to hit. Any tips on how to get a billionaire with anything that we talked about today, Let's let's wrap it up in a knee little bo.

I mean, you never know, you gotta give people a chance.

Like I was on my Instagram stories, I was like, yes, I understand that you have a type blah blah blah blah blah, but you gotta just be a little.

Bit more open. I think if.

Like you're saying, this person is not my type. But that is your type, not a billionaire.

I don't know, like it just doesn't.

He's like, come on, like have fun.

Yeah, somebody hip don't work that My hips don't lie. Let's go like, let's let's have a blast. You never know that person doesn't need their hip to work for y'all to be in Rome for a week.

Okay, I'm listen. The next event, I'm gonna find him this and this is this is on me. Okay, the next event, I'm gonna find him and I'll just go over and introduce myself. That's where I messed up. I didn't introduce myself. If I had done that and I shook his little you know, spider vein hand, it might have changed the game for me a little bit, you know what I mean. Hi, I'm Marie. Nice to meet you, and you are. And they would have said his name and I would be like, oh, then I would have

They're they're really good videos. People were not playing around.

Yeah. As always, thank you to the hot listeners that send us messages and photos. We love. We love when y'all game sending them photographic proof. We love a pan sexual, gender queer asexual audience like we love that everybody's listening and everybody get something out of this pod. Please send us lyrics for your heartbreak song. Oh my God, you you're the thunder.

Yeah, So it's gonna be raining all day, babe, it's about to.

Be a god fin fight. Yeah. Yo.

The weather in New York States this summer has been absolute. The weather is not here for us. And that's that's fine. That's fine. I'm out of here. If you haven't gotten a ticket for my San Francisco shows at Cobbs Comedy Club, yeah, go get them. It's Friday. You miss Thursday, so get them tonight, Get them tonight, get them for tomorrow. I have two shows. It's gonna be a blast, and it's not gonna be pouring in San Francisco, hopefully not. Nope, all right, well I'll have the NFL in my Stories.

Sydney has it on her page, and hopefully we'll she'll see you there.

I'll be there. Yeah.

But you know what, I'll FaceTime you, Marie. How about I FaceTime you while I'm on stage. Okay, at the end of the show.

Okay, what time is the show cause I need to see what what I need to make sure I have on a shirt.

Okay, I'll text you. I'll text you in advance.

Okay, all right, bye friend, Bye Forever.

This has been a Forever Dog production.

The Unofficial Expert is executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Cilio, and Alex Ramsey.

Senior producer Tracy Soren, Produced by Andrew McGuire. Cover art by Sandy Hoenig.

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