Got Damp?

Forever like girls at the party, look at that buddy again and ah, hey baby, how you doing honey?

Sweetie? Hey sweetye. What if that was our voice for the whole episode?

Hey sweeetie, love you baby.

You gotta really get into your nostrils.

Word love me baby.

Sweet Hey, sweetie, if you're listening to this, we hope you're having your fabulous day.

Well, the problem, Well, I will say this, Marie.

I've been told someone gave me a note that I'm monotone in that and that you have a lot of energy, that you're like a like a cartoon character, and so you know, if I'm not into something, I can really sound dead on the pot. It was a great note.

Yes, So how do you feel about that note? Babe? Let's dissect the note.

You know, I'm just I'm just to be a better me.

So whenever someone gives me a note, now it's constructive and I take it for what it is and I move forward.

I'm not gonna let it bother me.

Well, I mean, you sound a little bit bothered.

Right now, but off top you brought it up.

Yeah, bothered. We I didn't even ask Andrew how he was doing.

You.

Well, let me just let's start here, so.

Sydney.

Yeah, I mean I could see, I could see what they're saying. I mean, I've been listening to myself, you know, on the podcast for many, many years, and the thing is is that I do feel.

Like I.

Was more.

I had better anime like animated voice when we first started, and now I think I'm just tired of talking.

Oh you just signed up to do a new podcast too, She's ted talking.

Well, I mean, wait, hold on, hold on. Bill's got to get paid, y'all. Okay, Bill's got to get paid. Who's going to pay them?

But reals do have to get paid close to one time.

Listen, I don't even pay my own bills, Andrew before the episode is over, please remind me to pay my bills today.

Okay, cool? Yeah, that's your.

Only job, I mean, besides everything else.

Yeah, okay, I mean I think that monotone. First of all, I'm a professional voice artist, so of course you know I'm not monotone.

I get paid for this, so so do you.

Technically, But you know, with the with the pod, you should just drop all the ads right here, these people paying us.

Oh gosh, yeah, instead of the middle of the episode let's go like what.

Ready?

I mean, but Andrew, I will say this when I listen to the podcast. Sometimes the ads will be like in the middle of a sentence that I'm.

Saying, and it's literally I understand. Random, Sometimes I understand, And can I just say, as the producer of this podcast, it is very hard to find a point where it's like there is a break. You know, it's a compliment to you because the conversation is strung along so beautifully throughout the entire like hour hour and a half that it's hard to find like a break to be like, Okay, here's.

An ad, Well, you know what today this week, this episode, let's while we're talking today, find the perfect place to throw to a break?

Oh my gosh, you're just really yeah. You know.

The crazy thing is that on my new podcast, they just tell us where to do a break after twenty minutes.

Yeah, but I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be like, you know, dare you?

How dare you come on this podcast to talk about yea new bitch?

This is yeah the producer at the new show.

Yeah, my other podcast, they do what like this, ah.

Yo, Marie, like hold on. So they were like, so, I guess this is I don't know if you're gonna cut this out or whatever. Let's just bleep it. But we got something something for that other podcast or whatever, and it's for me to like do press or whatever. It's so, you know, the woman is asking me like, so, what are you going to say? And I was like, well, I'm gonna say I have a podcast called the Unofficial Expert. And they're like, well, we're not really paying for that.

Yeah.

I mean I don't hate that, but that doesn't make that doesn't betrayal feeling any worse, any better.

Oh fuck both of you. It's just it's no making you guys feel good.

It doesn't matter what I do.

M Well, you didn't sound amount of tone, theres you went, all the way you hit your to that point settled tonight. When I feel attacked, that's when my voice goes.

Up up up, Yeah, I think you hit a whistle tone.

Variah Carrey, Yeah, exactly m hm.

So let's talk about did we finish what we were talking about.

It's finished, it's done, it is finished.

Okay.

So this weekend I made some weed butter and I baked some cupcakes on Saturday, some gorgeous cupcakes.

Anyway, I had half of a cupcake before I started this podcast today. Just now not maare okay. I've been eating cupcakes literally since Saturday.

But I like, I'm a giver, so I was giving them to people. My cousin got some cupcakes. Carolina got some cupcakes, and I gave her like two or three in a ziploc bag. And today she called me to about her husband didn't know there was weed in the cupcakes and he ate one of the.

Cupcakes, and she's like, this is your fault.

Carolina is two for two of the men in her life a second go under going in her refrigerator and getting high by a mistake for the first time.

So that let's talk whose fault is this, because it's.

Not mine, it's it's no, it's absolutely hers.

I get I brought it over, so you know, I was the liaison of the cupcakes, and you know it was in my container, and it's not like a weed container. It's just it's just like a clear, you know, tupware thing, and it doesn't say weed, it doesn't have a big old w on it. So niggas no, it's it's tainted. And she instead of I don't like tinted, let's say enhanced.

Okay, so it's enhanced.

It's enhanced these enhanced cupcakes. Instead of her eating it when I gave her, which was several days ago, so many days ago, she left it in the refrige. When even in the refridge, it's up for grabs for anybody, I would say. When I was living in my old apartment, when I had a roommate or whatever, sometimes we would argue about, Like I love something, I said, listen, if you don't eat it after the first day or night, it's up for the It's the house's stuff now anybody who walks in, it's ours.

No, yeah, that's is that how you feel about people's leftovers in the rooms?

Yep?

If I bring some food, okay, let me.

Let's let's reminisce when I went to like when I used to go to like Olive Garden or like TGI Fridays or like places like that.

And then you got your little doggy bag, your little uh chicken out Freido or whatever in the fridge and you're like, oh, when I get home from school or when I get back from the gym, i'ma heat It's so good.

And your dad already ate it, or your brother already ate it, or your mother threw it away.

Because my mother would be like, what is this? What is this in my refrigerator? She would just like toss things. But like, that's like the ultimate betrayal.

I think that's worse than leaving your original podcast to start a new podcast.

I think, oh my god, Marie, Okay, if this is the inside joke that we want to have amongst each other, so be it.

So be it.

Friend, No all jokes aside it does.

It is devastating. Your world is rocked.

You've been thinking about this food all day or for several hours, and then you get home and you're like, well, did I put it on the second show?

Well? Yeah, When I used to live with when I used to live with Adrian, it would happen all the time. I would bring something in and then if I didn't eat it that night, the next day.

She would go and put it in a little bag and take it.

Can marry her, marry our way down to work and for somebody who's paying all of the rent. What I'm gonna say, Oh, oh, you're gonna take my shrimp terioki to work the job that's providing us a roof over our heads. What am I gonna say? And there was times where I would be fucking pissed because I'm like, Yo, did you really eat that donut? Like it was a half a donut? That means there was another half for me to eat? Why'd you do that? Right?

Okay, Well, Sonny, you was doing half donuts.

Half donuts half.

I was watching it.

I was watching my sugar. That's when I was in a different place in my life, right right, right, Yeah, you weren't trying to lose that foot right now. Now, I'm all in. I'm all in when it comes to diabetes.

One hundred fifty percent steak in diabetes. Okay, So I don't think that one day is another. You gotta give me like a full twenty four hours of sitting there before you you can grab it.

I think, well, what sticks out to me is like that she didn't put a label or anything like, not even like a sticky note or anything. I think that's where she major faux pa.

You know, she should have just told him they talked to each other every single day, Babe, don't eat this.

This is drugs.

You don't do drugs. But also, if I was him, I would not trust fucking anything.

I wouldn't trust a thing in that refrigerator.

After seeing her dad and after seeing I mean even hard on her wedding night, she was liddy, liddy kitty so liddy boots down, hitty chitty bang bang. Yes, yeah, I just wouldn't. I would not take anything there without asking.

He was like, well, what if the kids had eaten this? And it's like Carolina.

Carolina doesn't have any kids, but he meant like her niece or her nephew.

They don't. They don't live in the same state anymore. They're in New Jersey.

Well I didn't.

I'm not trying to put a whole IMDb on the pod, but okay, Sidney, her dad doesn't live in her house, in her building, and he helped himself to several glasses of that weed tea.

So it's like, and that's the problem with men.

Y'all need to stop putting y'all hands on things that's not yours. That's it beautiful segue into what I want to say. Speaking of men putting their hands where they don't need to be. Let's talk about Jamie Spears. Okay, why great?

Why is he the conservator? Conservator?

Conservator?

Why is he the person that's in charge of stuff? Where is Lynn? Where is the muffa? Where is Jamie Lyndsby?

I think Lynn, this is how I'm looking at it. I think Lynn was like, I don't want to take away her rights.

I don't.

I don't want to be the person in charge because I know that this is not what she wants. So it's like, bitch, you fumble this bag. You could have just taken it over and then Brittany tells you what she wants, and then you keep it pushing. Now you got this this bootcut jean uh you know, bad cut, haircut, wearing AutoZone T shirt, wearing middle of them all boondocks, bubble bubble vest with no sleeves, wearing man just I

Oh okay, well this might be a great place for a break. Actually, yeah, maybe it's not.

No, it literally has to come in thirty minutes in that's request, all right.

Yes, for the perfect place for me to put it where I will put it.

Okay, we'll find it. I'll let you know, I said, Okay, let's talk about meat, speaking of beaten.

So we love all that beaten of the meat that we do.

Fine.

Yeah, I watched the documentary last night, and I knew it was going to be sad. And the craziest thing for me about all of this is this is this was all happening during our lifetime. Like we we were here for the hair shaving thing, we would hear for the umbrella in the car that like all of that stuff.

And now it's like he's he was in charge of like all her decisions and like.

Twelve motherfucking years.

Twelve year and it's like, if you're saying that you're helping her and she's saying she don't want you to do it, which she is cool with somebody else doing it, you gotta go away.

He can't he there's no way you know how much money that man is making and God, God knows what he's doing with it. I think he's paying people so that he can stay in position. And they probably got her drugged up, so she's all loopy doopy, but she's still like she knows that she doesn't want him to be taken over her estate.

But the but the mother's argument about like not want she knew Brittany didn't want to be you know, she don't want to be responsible for everything, and blah.

Blah blah blah blah.

The dad wasn't even there for most of her life. That's what I don't understand. That's what I'm That's what I'm saying, Like they weren't even there when she signed her record contract, her record deal.

They were in Louisiana, and it's like, okay, that's cool. But the mother made up went to sacrifice so she could be the pop star that she used today.

And people were like, yeah, butha mom was trying to get her to be on TV when she was like six or eight. Her mother put her in the limelight. It's her fault. It's now it's the mother's fault that she is famous, that she is successful.

Okay, all right, now people need to just calm down, right, Like if you see your kid and you see that they're passionate about something and you think this is what they really want to do, then you're gonna You're gonna sit there and be like, let's work out a plan to get you to where you want to be. And I think at that time, Lynn wasn't thinking about the backlash and all the complicated stuff that goes with being a celebrity. No, they're in East bumblefuck.

They have no idea.

They are country through and through. I don't think they know about this other world. All they know is, oh, my baby could sing are we and the mall every other day? And now she has like crowds here that are fans, let's go, you know what I mean.

But I think them being from the South and being from a small town, it doesn't even matter. Most people don't know how the entertainment industry works. Most people have no idea, you know, like what is behind it. But also they didn't expect her to blow up how she blew up. She was the only female pop star out like that at the time.

And then we got Genieana.

Yoyata rub me the Right.

And she had a crazy childhood too from what I remember, So I don't know.

When I was younger, I was like, I want.

To be a I want to act, and I would like cut things out of like magazines to give to my mom and she'd be like, yeah, when you graduate.

From college, you can go to this audition. And he was like, but I be old, m h.

And my parents were like, you have school, and I was like, but I could have been All Broadway or something, and they're like.

And look at us now. I mean, well, look at me. I'm old and there's still time.

Oh yes, Sidney, you would you do Broadway if somebody wanted you to do something All Broadway?

Would because I need to be able to have edits. You know that I have to do things flawlessly every fucking night.

Get the hell out of here.

Don't have to be they don't have to be flawless every night.

Explicitly by both of you that you don't like anything cut out of this podcast, so I'm not oh.

Yeah, because this is this is the medium where we can just be ourselves. A play is words that someone wrote and you need to memorize that.

Ship got it nicely.

The difference, Yes, yeah, Andrew, this is this is uncut, unfiltered, unedited.

This is the real Raw Unofficial Expert Podcast.

But I used to do play when I was little, and I liked doing them. I would do them again. I would do a play again.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I'm not saying no Shakespeare or nothing like that, but like I would do.

A play and I would sing too with my dry ass voice. Yeah. Unfortunately. I mean, we're just gonna gonna chalk it up for if they're doing this to a you know, a fan favorite, a pop star, celebrity icon, I mean, everybody is obsessed. If they're doing this and she's white. If they're doing this to a white woman with all the money in the world, there's no hope for us. There just isn't. If they're talking about free

Come on now, No, I don't know what we can. They're not done that for them.

I mean, s it's Kim Kardashian West, she can free niggas from jail.

Well, what the hell was I just about to say? Oh, I mean, I don't know. I don't understand how it got so bad. Where was the team from the beginning. It just seemed like somebody dropped the ball at the beginning of the Hope Britney spears.

Everybody, everybody and we and we suck as a society. We suck. When when those tabloids were like a huge thing, it was disgusting. It was just so nasty that we thought that, Oh, yeah, I want to see a paparazzi get in between Lindsay Lohan's legs while she's coming out of her car so we could see her fucking firecrotch.

Yeah, we want that photo. We want that photo.

We want somebody passed out on the side of their Maserati with coke coming out of their nose. Yeah, we want to see that. That that's the shot, the money shot.

Paparazzi.

They're kind of like leeches on there, and it's the the more famous you were or are, I guess, the more valuable photos of you are worth. So like watching her get out of her car or like try to drive away in her car, she couldn't. They're standing in front like trying to take pictures.

Brittany over here. That's wild. Plus, she definitely had postpartum.

She had the things that was going on with her kids.

Listen, if we were all celebrity, I'm sure somebody has dropped their fucking baby and a freaking whole food.

Stop it.

Don't do that.

Like, yes, yes, I.

Dropped a baby in a whole food, but I don't hold people's kids specifically because I always feel like I'm going to drop their baby and then get called a month for it.

So okay, well that's your friend. But like, yeah, and she would always wear those like thick ass platform sandals that just all goofy and goofy. Yeah, the platforms like a wedge sandal. Yeah, the like the sandards you get from like hot topic. Like of course of course she's dropping her baby in those. Yeah. So like but we were just way too hard on her, and then now everybody want to come back.

Can be mad at Justin Timberlake.

Don't do that.

We've been mad at Justin time.

I know, I know, but it's just like either we take this man down or let it go. Take it take him down or let it go. Because every year there's like, and you did this to Da Da and you and what about Janet?

Okay, so he's coming out with a new album, are you gonna buy it?

Or not, like, are people?

Are people still even buying albums? Can Spotify is? I was gonna say Spotify is, it's not. But I'm not buying an album.

What do I have? A record player?

I don't know. I got You're right?

Was the last showing my age?

Sidney? What's the last album you bought? Andrew? YouTube's the last album you purchased?

All the way through? I mean like I have I mean I don't have Spotify, Apple Music. I know that I'm not as cool as the rest of you, but yeah, no, it's like, who's buying anything any music?

Right? I'm paying for it to live on my phone.

I don't need a physical copy. I don't need I don't need to read the credits the book. Do they even put a book in a CD anymore? I don't think so.

No.

Yeah, that's why if you think, if you think you're gonna sit up on Rihanna's Internet and expect that bitch to give us an album, you're fucking crazy.

Okay, she's not.

Going on tour. She's like, I'm making money from makeup lingerie. Close Honey, you the one the last time you You're the l I L I A A is gone.

Yes, but the but the Fendy clothing thing is on hiatus, so she might have time now to do that album.

She's already done it, like she tweeted like over like a year ago that it's like done.

You know, she just doesn't want to release it yet, right, So what's she waiting on for them? For them to jump justin Timberlake outside of them all, Like what are what are they waiting on?

Sidney? Are you team justin or not?

Like like he's given you know, hostility like in sync fan girl?

What were we talking about here?

No, I'm not a fan of him. I'm not a I'm not like he don't pay my bills. But I'm just saying, like, when it was time to have Janet's back, where were we now that how many.

Years is this now?

How many years?

When you say when you say have Janet's back, what do you mean? Because I didn't like him even before that. So when you say have Janet's back, how are we supposed.

To have her back? We were supposed to murder justin Timba Lake, I mean hold that thought. This is a perfect time break? Yes, okay, yeah, that's where the break is. Now we're back Okay, well that was gorgeous doing the work.

What's that? Uh? What's that album he did with the The Sex Sex Light Sense, Uh Suits or something?

It looks like he's at the optomologist or something.

He's there's like a disco.

Ball and he's you're talking about two different ones, Maray. The one that you're talking about was like maybe twenty twelve. The one that Sydney is talking about was like early two thousands.

What album is that the one that I'm talking.

Let me see. I'm checking in my Apple Music Future Sex and the Sure Sex.

Yeah, that was a fucking good ass album. I'm not gonna lie.

I have never listened to her. Justin Timberlake album in My Lemon Set the Moon. No, Sidney, No, I.

Agree with Sidney.

I agree with Sydney.

I agree with See. I think I think we would be lying to ourselves and we said that he didn't put out good music.

I mean his music.

You see this, You see this is the problem, Sidney Brandy, what have y'all done? We should have canceled you not doing the work. You still listen to his music. You're singing it here.

He is the.

Beige r Kelly Free Brittany.

In my opinion, R Kelly doesn't get played at my house, and neither does Justin Timberlake agreed.

Since when? Since when did you like cut out justin Timberlake.

I never liked Justin Timberlake because I was a Backstree Boys fan as a kid.

Okay, so that's it, that's your reasoning. I never liked him then when not for his appropriation. Then when the Jannel Jackson thing happened, I was like, well, I already don't like him. Then when they were like, oh, but you know he's a good dancer, I was like, I don't like anything that he's doing with his shoulders.

And then they were like, oh, but with the curly hair. He's kind of half black, and I was like, I don't see it. I was never here for anything that he did. I just I've never liked him. I don't even like his films. Okay, he was in a film, Yeah, he does movies.

Sometimes.

He was in Broke Back Mountain.

No, where'd you come up with that from?

Why did I think that he was in Broke Back Mountain?

Sidney? Did you see Broke Brack Mountain?

No?

Listen free, Justica Bill Free Jessica Bill. If you think she's over there, she's not hostage.

She is.

She does had another baby, apparently exactly hostage.

But you're keeping tabs on her.

We didn't even know that she was pregnant.

Yeah, I'm not keeping.

Tabs on her. It popped up on my Twitter feed or something.

Let me tell you one thing. I'm not keeping up with any of these uh bad back in Alabaster people.

I'm not doing anything that m bad back in Alabaster.

Mm hmmm, bad back in Alabaster.

You're saying it alive? Am I supposed to write this down as like the title or something.

Write down, but also write down because that will also be the title. I stand by that as well.

But imagine going out with somebody years ago, and everything that you do after that people bring back to that relationship.

Woof. That's why I'm glad that the people that I date non motherfucking factors, no offense. Adrian is the only one that matters, but everybody else, nobody. He's bringing up when I dated the guy from that band Dragons of Thin Zinth.

Nobody is mentioning that.

Andrews unfamiliar with this. I dated somebody in a band named Dragons of Zinth. I was obsessed with this man. I but you know what, I haven't heard anybody speak of him.

Yeah, am I sposed to be right now, I don't know who.

This is a Patreon episode that I'm that. I'm am I supposed to be gagging, like, oh my god, Dragons of the Patreon members are key king right now. They're like, all we knew about this five months ago. L O okay, so were they?

Was it a rock band? Because in my mind is given like black people Blink one eighty two? Is that Dragons of Zinth?

I don't know, girl. I was on a lot of Strawberry Dakers, and you know, I was like, this is this is man is the best thing from sliced bread. But it was like, you know, black rock or something like that black Schoolhouse rock. I don't know, just looking up look at.

Jazz music.

It was no, it was like a little bit of it was like a little bit of Lenny Kravitz. My god, Oh my god, that's him him. I haven't seen him in years?

Which one with the fro Okay, now people are gonna look it up and they're like, is that the was that the first search yeah.

Yeah, well this is the first photo. But I mean he still has the frow. Wait, no, there's no brother.

That's his brother.

It's giving. It's giving black guy peas when when Fergie joined Energy Nada.

Everybody, I need you to this is a good old time to take another break. I need you to go on Google and no, no, Google Dragons of Sin and you're like, oh wow, Sydney's X and then you'll be like Google Now I know I was just gay, right, but google it while this ad plays right here. Okay, but I love that people are not just bringing up like I can live. The only time, the only reason when I don't live is because if someone mentions Adrian, which for a long time, people were in my dms

It is wild how people will like know a piece of something about you and then like, have no issue with asking you about the person that A I'm not speaking about no more to or B whatever letter number I'm not, they're not.

On my page anymore.

So for you to for you to have the gall or the audacity to slide in my DMS and be like, well, how's this person that you ain't being posted?

They're good y'all together? What happened?

It's like, first of all, you have to understand that you're not the only person that's sending that message or thinking that, So like scroll back a couple of weeks and see where you stop seeing them and.

Know that they're not together no more. People are so crazy.

And when I tell you that, like you let people in a little bit and they want to take the whole autobiographic book. They want to take they want to take the whole book. You give them a page and they're like, yes, give me everything. And it's like, just because I let you in a little bit, that doesn't give you the right to note other things that I haven't mentioned.

Know, yo, being a celebrity, it has to be like hard.

It's the comments, the comments that people leave. I read them because you know, I have time and I'm and I Sometimes I'm very like I look at the things that I write on people's pages that obviously are blue checked and famous, and they don't know me, and I'm like, half the time I'm being funny and I'm like, I hope one day they'll remember this comment.

But for the most part, it's.

Like people are just fucking weird. They're weird, and it's like, these people want privacy and decency like everybody else.

Listen, there's a couple people who don't want decency and privacy. Let's the Kardashians. Don't want nobody's privacy. They will call paparazzi and be like, we're going we coming down fifth Yeah, be there.

They will. My daughter painted this thing. It's like that look like Bob Ross did it.

Anyway, whatever, Oh, don't you do that to North North he did that, she did that painting.

I don't care. I don't care.

But I'm saying, these are people who want attention. And people are like, you're bullying her daughter, and it's like, no, we're judging Kim because the family. I mean, if you're Chris's daughter, the apple does not fall far from the tree. You you will do everything that you can for us to talk about you.

And we are.

But she did get like big mad in response to people saying that she did not paint that painting.

Don't you dare? Yeah, disrespect my daughter like this?

And it's like, yes, if I was rich and I had I was taking private paint lessons, then yeah no.

But it's entirely Bob Ross. I mean, I don't like there's a question about.

That, right, yeah, But somebody on Twitter like or TikTok like debunk ditch. Her mom is like the art teacher, and every kids same thing when they.

First start working with her. So I don't know, But Sitney, what were you just saying? Because I was gonna trying to respond to it, and I forgot.

What it was.

I was just saying that some people like they deserve like privacy when they can get it, and it's like, nobody owes you anything. I don't care how many books you've bought, how many years you supported, Like you don't own these people. And that's the thing about like Brittany, It's just at that time people thought that they deserved a piece in her life. They deserve to know what the hell was going on, what drugs she was on,

Because I was reading about that today and I was like, she was twenty five? Was she already had them two kids? That's a different twenty five than I feel like, you know, most of us experienced. But I watched the interview that she did and she's like wearing sandals, she's chewing gum, she rolling her eyes at Matt Lower, which you know he deserved. But they were trying to cancel Diane Sawyer too.

They were like, eh, Diane Sawyer. For just every interview that Britney did, they were like, well, who are you dating? Do you have a boyfriend?

From the time she was a little kid to now, like when she was like six seven eight doing TV things, they were like do you have a boyfriend? And it's like, iwase, please move your face away from my face.

Yeah, But I mean these people have been those type of journalists for years. You're just now seeing that interview and being disgusted. Get the fuck out of here. All these people are always asking that question and you're like, oh, yes, be fucking messy, you know, I mean, I.

Guess like when Whitney used then, was it also Diane Sawyer or yes? And she was like, is it crack? Whitney is it? Is it crack? And Whitney was like Greg is for four people or whatever? She said, crack is whack. I'm rich, I'm very rich.

And I was like, that sounds like somebody who's on crack.

I love it.

Well, yeah, those questions you do want people to ask. But asking somebody about they do they.

Have a boyfriend?

Asking a woman, any woman, any woman in entertainment, anytime she's on a red carpet or she's doing something. They're asking about her clothes, they're asking about when she wants to have children, and they're asking about her dating life.

That's it. They don't talk to male celebrities like that.

You were asking if people were asking Michael B. Jordan if he's dating somebody. Don't do that. If you're hot, people want to know if you're in a relationship. They want to see me.

Sure, it's not the same, though, you know it's not the same.

There's multiple interviews that Rihanna is doing and people ask who she's dating or who she's bringing to the Harry Prince Harry's wedding, and she's like, she shuts it down immediately. I'm an artist and I'm sensitive about my sheet. They're not asking Michael B. Jordan on the red carpet of Creed. Every reporter that he stops to speak to about who he's talking.

To, They're like, how did you get in shape?

What was your thought process? What is project? They don't treat women female celebrities like that. It's not the same. No, it's not the same.

But I'm also I'm I'm also just like if you are like a sex symbol or something that people are are there in there, you think they're asking ugly celebrities who they're dating. No, ste they're not asking who are you with the spend the holidays with the point point blank. They're just not. But if you are on the carpet, you got your abs out, I mean, the clavicles are popping, teeth are white. They're like, so we see, we see that person behind you. Is that your date tonight? Yeah, They're gonna ask.

And and whatever they can ask, and if the person wants to respond, they will or they won't. But the way that they hyper sexualize women and then get mad at women for being sexy. A lie, Chloe Bailey. It's like you can't have it both ways. But also watching that Britney documentary, I was like, oh, she was a trailblazer, like she was the original kind of like virginal, you know what I mean, Like she she did the Miley Cyrus thing before Miley Cyrus was Miley Cyrus.

Like she did it before Arianna did it.

She she had to kind of grow up and go from being a kid to being an adult making music for adults, and people were like, well, my kids listen to you and this is offensive. And it's like, well you kid, what like it's not my job to raise your ugly ass kids.

Yes, yeah, it's just a point blank but like it depends. It's like when you come out in your whatever age. I mean the thing that like Madonna was doing sexy, sexy music from Jump, the thing is that Madonna has been looking forty five since she started. So insuld for the past, but compliment for right now, yes, I mean, I mean she has a one of those timeless faces. How about that's that's a compliment, no shade.

Her current man is like what like twenty two or something.

Oh, yeah, she loves a young man. Young, she loves a young gentleman. And you know, if she wants to suck the blood of Christ, I guess, do you boot?

If she wants to suck virgin poolboy blood, that is her business. I just like, I just can't imagine what a twenty two year old has to offer me. But if I was older and rich, then maybe just to say that I bagged a twenty two year old. Look at me and my boy. He don't even know how to read.

I'm teaching you.

No that, I mean, both of us just having issues with a paragraph.

I'm all set on that. But yeah, I definitely, I definitely. Oh you know, I still have my young hot guy that comes and cleans my apartment, And yeah, I could. I could see why people are like, yeah, I want to date somebody young. I don't want them to really talk too much, but like their essence them, their energy around makes you feel like, oh, I'm hip, I'm cool.

You know.

Yes, if you say I'm hip, then you not hips. Is nobody hip? Oh this sounds real.

What's the generation above us? I don't know, friend, I don't know generation above us? The only generation I know, it's boomers. The only generation I know is BCBG generation. That's the only thing I know.

Well, apparently gen Z said that skinny jeans are out, and if you wear skinny jeans.

Still that you you're a millennial, and that's disgusting.

I'm not listening to anybody who's not paying my motherfucking bills. So y'all could say what's in and out around and about, you could kiss my ass. I'm buying whatever is on sale at she hands. So if it's skinny jeans, if it's boot cut it, if it's bell bottoms, if it's the with the with the ass out chaps, I'm buying it. So whatevers listen.

If it looks good on my body, yeah, you can afford it, and it's not dry clean only, I'm gonna wear it.

Yeah. I don't look at these lists. They're stupid.

No, it's not list, they're just like they they've just been dragging millennials on TikTok apparently, and.

People, you know, millennials are like, wait, what, we're not cool? And gen Z is like you we dance like this or whatever.

The hell you know, Yeah, making fun of skinny jeans right now because none of us can fit them. We can't fucking fit the jeans anymore, Like make fun of jeans. Why are you wearing jeans right now? It's all about the lounge wear. We're all about a pant that's like very soft, very stretchy. Not a seat through legging that's tacky, but like a lounge you know, something a little layers to it.

Right, We're here for a matching set, a soft pant. We're here for, you know, something that doesn't have zipper on it. If I got to zip something, I'm not what.

Yeah, I want something that I can get up and go to the door, get my packages from the ups man and he doesn't see my whole ass whole from the seat through fabric.

You know, I would love that.

Or I would love something that I can like casually walk around the block in but also take a nap on the couch. I'm not asking for much.

I had to explain to my manager what house clothes were the other day and I almost fired her. I said, you don't you'd what? She was like, every time I leave my house, I have to come in and I have to change my clothes.

And I was like yes, girl, you don't want you don't want street wear on your fucking couch and bedding. That's weird.

Girl. She was like what, And I was like, sis, Andrew, do you know what house clothes are?

Yeah? I mean I feel like I just like get like fully naked when I get through the door because I don't want anything touching anything, you know.

Right, you just you don't on you know that like baby T shirt or them like leggings or whatever whatever. You got booty shorts on over there, but I didn't. I don't understand how you wear. People think that you got to put something on and just wear it for the whole day.

The worst. Some people think it's okay to like sit on a bed.

And when you say when you say when people which people you say like to sleep on your bed? I mean sit on your bed?

Are you trying to ask a racial You know.

We know the answer.

Then okay, listeners, do your words? You know what they're talking about?

Anyway, Andrew, Marie, So, any any updates, any personal updates of yours about my life and what I'm not going on in two ways? No, not really, I mean, I just you know, I feel.

Like all I've been doing is given, and I feel like I'm just going I'm just trying to have a good time.

I'm just trying to actually eat some steak tonight. Perfect place for events, steak.

It's like the sixteenth break of the episode.

We're helping you. We're helping you. Boo boo.

I really appreciate it, and really, I.

Hope you're taking note.

Be best podcast to produce in the whole fucking world. The Unofficial Expert.

Yeah, yes, I didn't. I didn't do anything today. I had a whole list of things I wanted to accomplish today. And I woke up and I was in my bed and I looked at I said, oh, I've been up.

For an hour, still laying here. And then I was like, well, I'm gonna go out. I haven't been outside in two days.

Girl, it's so hard to go out. It's so I look out.

When I walked to the door and I look outside, I'm like, why, why, why is there such thing as outside? And I go back in and I sit on my couch and I'm fine. And this is exactly why I can't fit a fucking pair of genes to save my life. I am getting so thick the ass. The cell you light on my ass has mature.

Show us, No, don't be so offended. You've shown worse on on this what's worse are you?

Are you saying the things on my body is worse? I'm saying, are you talking about Andrew?

Maybe I misspoke?

Maybe you fucking a damn rights?

Andrews said, why won't you show us your cellulight? He watched you take your box break exactly.

You no even worse. You literally got down to like sit on the toilet one time in front of Marie and I do.

You remember that, Sidney? Sidney's on the toilet so often?

I think you'd like the laptop like on the Saint counter.

Maybe about anybody on this call right now, y'all, you are blessed to see any crevice or whole that I have available, So you're you should be. People would pay you money to tell them what my whole looks like?

Sidney the energy get you giving off this week?

Can your whole look like other than a whole?

Like I don't understand you sound just like a gay man, and good for you. But if you're interested in the whole, it's a lot of things.

It can look like okay.

I mean I personally have been complimented on my booty Me too, Marie anytime, me too.

This week I'm oh, you were on a zoom.

Call earlier recording the other podcast.

On a FaceTime and I was told that it's very beautiful. And you know, I'm I'm proud that I do what I can. I do what I can for the for the butt stuff. Okay, for the butt stuff. Sure, hashtag for the butt stuff, Andrew. Has anybody ever commmented jumble?

Yeah, Yes, it's nice, but I just don't understand like a nice booty hole, like.

I mean, it's sounds like somebody who don't have an I don't.

I'm not the one looking at the booty hole for the most part.

Bottoms rock bottoms that okay, so that's the title rock bottom anyway, rock bottom.

Listen. Honestly, I'm gonna throw in beautiful booty hole.

I like that.

Beautiful booty hole feels good to me. It sounds like a like a John Mayer song or something like that.

Absolutely so.

So, Sydney, you're doing the work. I am.

I am. I you know I have looked at it on different occasions and angles, and it's like yeah, when it looks good, it looks good.

I don't know why.

I'm still amazed at the things that people compliment me on, like the the amount of things that people could ever compliment you on. First of all, you have such a beautiful booty, hall what you have great nail beds.

I told you about your nail beds.

I love them.

You have great hands too, Yeah, that that's always That's a weird compliment for me because I have like scars on the.

Back of his hand. So'm I was like, what and is usually dry?

Yesterday I posted a picture and like I tilted my head back and somebody complimented me on not having any nosehairs.

Oh my god. Yeah, I was like what. They were like, Oh, that nose is bald, a beautiful bald nose.

And I was like, who oh, they're.

Strange shade zooming. I was like, is there's thing in there? No, it was bald.

Yeah.

So when people compliment you on things that you that is unexpected, what do you Guys usually say thank you?

Or do you say what?

I remember there was there was a guy that was over my apartment like a year or two ago, and I was in the middle.

Of quote quote unquote, yeah, it was not.

It was not recently. I can no, it was not. I am I am abiding by the CDC. That's okay, okay, fine, you're doing some like investigative journalism, come on, Dian. But I was like in the middle of uh, they were in the middle of speaking when I was taking off my socks, and they just stopped in their tracks to to really just take in my foot. There were just toes. They were just really blown away, which is it's nice. It's like, wow, you're blown away by my feet, but

Yeah, it's a little bit weird.

But when somebody that you're about to sleep with compliment you your feet, they probably gonna suck your toes.

And that's like, well did he say?

Yeah, okay, let me tell you.

I am a feet connoisseur.

I love a good feet, and you have long You have a long foot. Your foot is long, your your toes are long. I've seen your feet. You put it on the gram really, yes, yeah, you don't know. You don't see the stuff that you post. You don't remember, oh y.

Keeping on my feet.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely, Oh.

There is this one picture of my foot. Yeah, you're absolutely right.

I'm into it.

Well, damn, I gotta go on Instagram. Look at this foot. I don't even like feet. You guys are crazy. But yes, Sidney is. She's a photographic memory when it comes to feet.

I love him.

I I suck my girlfriend's toes mm hm, as you should. They're very nice.

She got nice toime.

I do appreciate her feet, but she wears socks all the time, so like I'm always like, can you take them off?

And I feel like a creep take your socks off?

Like it's just weird.

Oh yeah, I don't like to keep their socks on. It's it is weird. It's just commit.

I mean, if we're in the house and I'm walking around barefoot and stuff, yeah, I'm up with some socks on, but like to get in the bed or to like cuddle with somebody, I don't necessarily need my socks. But you could just take her socks off. You don't have to tell her to take them off.

Is that just so Marie?

You could just be like you could matter of fact, next time you want to take your girlfriend socks off us your mouth sis like a garter belt, like yes, at a wedding, I miss her. It's just like fuck, what the when the hell am I going to see her? It's just long distance is hard. I think long distance is so easy when you're like young, because you're just like the only issues you have is like, oh, you're so far away. I hope I don't cheat on you now. It's like you're so far away.

I hope I don't die.

No, that's not.

I think long distance is hard regardless. I feel like a relationship that's like happy for the most part. You spend as much time as you can together. So when it's long distance, you gotta like schedule it, plus the time zone difference, plus like you can't like just like bring them with you to your friends, you know what I mean, Like small like run, let's run to the store together, Like little things like that that you know they do in all the rom com movies. They're walking

I seriously, I just want to freaking ugh. I'm not even gonna say I'm not even gonna say, oh, I want to cuddle. I want to be with her, and I'm like, sweet stuff, you know what I mean, Just be next to you and like be on my phone, you know, like that's all I want, Marie. I don't know. I don't know if you know how much I love you. But every time I'm with you, I'm on my phone. That's how safe I feel with you.

I just want to be next to you, ignoring you.

Yeah.

Does she yell at you for being on your phone too much? Or does she comment on it?

No, I think we kind of like look at each other and we're like, Okay, that's enough, We've done enough. Let's just let's chill. It's not we don't need to Okay, we've done this too much. Now let's move on. So it's fine, it's fine.

It's she's she.

Never gets on me. It's not like, damn, get off your fucking phone. You know, like we understand each other and it's it's great. We do know that being on our phones is a problem, and I think that's the best couple.

She's on her phone a lot too.

Yeah, we're just looking at looking at stories, just dumb.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, But also this is a sign of the times. We we're a lot less busy now, so we have time to scroll for mad hours.

But hopefully, God willing or whatever, God you brave you, but hopefully we will not end this year the way we started this year because I got stuff I want to do. I got outfits that I want to put one, I want. I have things that I want to be overdressed for. I want to have a party for my birthday this year, Like I want to have a birthday party. So it's like, come on one, let's go shop. Chop yeah, double mask, get the backs.

Then let's go back outside.

I see it. I see a bright future for us. Friend, I'm not worried, you know, but I just I don't know. Maybe I'm in a rush for things. I know they're not going to go back to normal. I know for a fact that they're not going to go back to normal.

But I just.

I want to be able to have like a normal meetup with the people I love.

Yeah, we had a nice little meetup for your birthday, the four of us. That was nice. It was nice, and it felt like pre COVID times.

It did. But it's still you know, and then we went back the next day and we were like, we're in this, We're still here, and.

It's just like the next day was rough.

I just want you to know, like I can't squirt when there's a pandemic going on.

I just can't.

Interesting some of us don't.

Have that hang up neighbors like debunk that during the pandemic.

Excuse me, No, she didn't say. She didn't say she can't scream. She said she can't.

Okay, are they not synonymous? Coming from a gay man again?

Yeah, but Sydney, didn't you squirt during the pandemic? Did I did?

I did one time, and I'm something about my vagina and knows that the pandemic is still going on and it won't happen, and I want it to come back.

Maybe you guys just need to spend.

Like maybe you guys. It's not you guys. I want to be able to squirret on my own, on my own time. Okay, Oh well I don't think that. I m if she watches you, can you squirt by yourself? You know, I'm not gonna say what happened recently. I'm gonna leave that for the Patreon, but.

Yes, look at look at Carolina's high ass in the background, like we don't.

Have work to do, Carolina, there's just no respect.

She just Sidney asked her from a skal on a scale from winter ten, how said, on a scale from one to ten, how high are you? She wants to know how high are you?

She says she's an aider in line. But the way she's swaying, I'm gonna say eleven. The way this bitch is swaying the body saying, did you did you go to sleep? What's going on up there? Did you guys have sex?

He did?

They have high edible sex?

Shift?

Hammaday is curl. He's in a fetal position. He's just he's too high. Damn he's holding he's holding himself while he's stop it stop, no, no, well, let me let me Sidney.

Don't you don't have to scream, Sydney, you don't have to scream. Stop.

Sorry, I mean my cat was trying to eat my salmon. No, friend, I don't have any oil. Remember we we had that issue on skin cook there was no oil.

Let's wrap this up in a nice, neat little bow for these people. How are we gonna close out the beautiful booty whole episode.

The beautiful, beautiful booty who.

The beautiful Booty whole episode.

I will say that, you know, fuck, we're getting into We're going into another motherfucking month and who.

I'm like, girl, we're going into March.

Do you know that? Yeah?

That is the one year anniversary of the pandemic starting, the lockdown starting.

I can't, I can't. I can't believe this shit.

We've been doing it for a full year. How when when? What was the other flu the other pandemic that happened like one hundred years?

I feel like it was longer.

Was it ten years? How many years was it? Because I don't have ten years.

I don't, not one bit. I don't have it in me. And I was like, Marie, remember when we used to use do the podcast and touch each other.

Whooh yeah, and you would look at people's feet.

Yeah, it's just like it's not happening here. Hun, it's wild and crazy. It is, it really isn't it.

It hurts, It hurts, like I just.

Is this your ending? You don't know? No, no, no, you know.

Here's the high note. Here's the high note. Here's the high note.

High note is.

Marie every time I see you on Instagram, I kind of forget that we're friends and I was like, oh, who is bad bitch? She hot? And then it's you and it's like, oh, okay, god damp, goddamn for two seconds for a very close sister of mine, it's gross.

Goddamn is the new bad God damn that's the title.

Goddamnp I like that, God Damp.

That's merch.

God damn, god Damp.

I love it. That's good. I wrote it down.

Yeah, Marie, you've been looking better and better every time I see you, and.

It's it's great. Wow, thank you for calling me ugly in.

The now for you're never I appreciate your never ugly. You just you're you're aging like fine wine what?

Thank you? Sam know that that's thank thank you. It's true.

You posted a video and I was like, look at our titties.

They are full.

Wow, Sidney.

Trying to lower me on and on a high note. Okay, when it's up, When it's up, and it's up.

The song is weird, but we're here for.

It's I feel it's like way too short, like the like by the time I'm getting into it, it's over right.

We don't even know what she's talking about on the song that's the that's the bar.

If you had a to, if you had a twin, I would let y'all run a train. I'm like, never felt that way. Never. Yeah, I've never been like this man is so hot that I want two of him inside of me.

Mmm. Interesting, Well maybe this year will be the year of of dp's.

Yeah. I don't think summary. I don't. I don't know. I don't. I don't really, I don't see that for you, don't. I don't. I don't see that for me.

So you know I thought that.

I was like, oh, maybe me Marie and you know our partners will have an orgy. But I just feel like we're too close.

Oh wow, you know if listen, I just got to send a text.

Friends, Marie, when you have a stunt with a woman, maybe maybe we can talk. But I don't.

I don't think.

I don't think we want men allowed to be honest unless they're paying for things.

Well, we did have a gentleman pay for lunch.

We did, and I was like, thank you.

I should have ordered dom. I should have got Don Perry on for the for the for the group. We'll get some dom on the houset.

Should order some jobs, Order some Jobs.

That's a good title too, Should we order some domb?

Oh? Man, we are really going hot today.

I know with the odd breaks and titles that you were really just doing the job for me.

So good.

Okay, Well, before we go, let's what are the topics that we're going to talk about on the Patreon this week, Sidney, Let's let's get let's get our topics together for that.

What I want in the next six months?

Okay, next six months? Mm hmm oh am, I turn. I'm gonna talk about Uh, I'm gonna talk about the type of guys that you date that when you're with them or you're not with them, they're like, oh what are you doing?

Oh?

Cool?

Yeah?

Do you guys want food? Should I send y'all lunch?

Oh?

It's very hot. Let's talk about men doing many which we love.

We had some fun titles that we've been saying in conversation but not on the podcast, but a gay gave it to me. It is a good title, fun funky for the closure, dead or shamed. It's just these are just titles that we've said in conversation that I'm like, we're dead.

Or Sidney was like, call me immediately after you do this thing, and I was like, well, if I don't call you, I'm either dead or ashamed.

So dinner ashamed.

That's so good. We should talk about that on the pod on the Patreon.

Are you guys signing up?

Are you signing up for the Patreon?

Who said that you don't have vocal range? The way that blast up? That was great?

What the project? Yeah?

Kanishat Monotone, Nisia said it.

Kanisha our sugar?

Who was she our next good like or scamming?

I don't know.

She's it was like it was like she was making lists on a restaurants and she was getting bills paid.

Bougie she was, yes, yeah, I love that for us. Well, guys, that's the end of the episode.

I need to remind you Marie that you need your bills to get paid.

Pay my bills, my bill, them bills bills. I don't think you to see and up through. Okay, can you guys give I'm sure there was like a weird, a weird zoom delay. But Andrew, can you dark child now? Nine? My name my name? Okay, I need you guys to do me a solid though, for real, for real, where are the reviews? We need more? We need more reviews, we need more comments, more engagement. I mean, the way people notice us is if we're on the chart.

And that's the Oh I saw the other day. I was looking through your tagged photos and I saw that Gena Davis, this is one of the podcasts that she enjoys. Gina Davis from Thelma and Louise. You're Fromillia. She ted unofficial expert. Yeah she listened or I don't know. She attagged unofficial expert.

Was her niece using her Look at the post, right, her niece must have been using.

The Okay, it's the Black History Month, Watch read and listen and what to listen to. It's one of three podcasts that to listen to.

So look at that.

Okay, wow, oh.

Gena Davis founded by Gena Davis. Our institute is ending? Is this really her? Is this a fan page?

No, it's verified. So it's like Gena Davis's account, like Susan Sarandon follows it and Ava Duberne Lenis Morris.

Okay, so Susan Sarandon might be listening to this.

What do you do with this? The Sue Ava.

Okay, you see this, but we haven't even got We're not Hollywood.

We are just hanging out with I'm like, look at this on the list for the gods.

The Gina tagged us in like two is the creator of Reddit. Serena Williams's husband also less.

Yes, I remember that.

We are the reason why why the game stop stock went all the way up them two weeks ago because of our podcast.

That's true. That's true.

I know.

Wow. I mean we're we're silent killers and it's fine. You know, people are not trying to give us the press that we deserve. Go ahead, be my guess.

All right, you gotta go. I think Sidney got some that copy.

This is definitely from an intern. Okay, it just says happy Black History Month with a like a heart.

Just take it.

Okay, we were on the list with Chloe and Hallie Money.

Okay, hey we're on the list. Yeah it should say.

There it is.

Thank you all right, guys. Well, I hope you have a fabulous week. Happy like his three month again.

This has been a Forever Dog production. The Unofficial Expert is executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Ccilio, and Alex Ramsey, Senior Producer Tracy Soren, Produced by Andrew McGuire. Cover art by Sandy Hoenig. To listen to this podcast ad free, sign up for Forever Dog Plus at Foreverdog Podcasts dot