Eat Pray Hoe

Forever.

Hey, guys, so good to be here.

You know on time? What time did you arrive?

Friend? At twelve twenty?

Wow? And Andrew, you arrived exact?

Oh god, eleven for I arrived at twelve fifty now twelve now, So my apologies friend, I'm so sorry. And oh I was awake early today because I hadn't. I was awake early. I don't have an excuse. I do not have one. He was awake early.

I was got up early this morning. What time did you get up? I got up at eight something?

Why so early, Marie? Well, since I had an interesting evening and I had to wake up early to reflect my soul.

What happened?

My soul was like now, niggas, Oh my god, I know you don't deserve all this rest, I can even wow. I well, we'll get into it. But yeah, Marie's late, and we text her like, hey, where are you?

No, I didn't get text from you guys saying where are you? Not where are you?

But no, I hit you guys at twelve twenty something and said I'll be there in ten to fifteen minutes.

Oh yeah, she Oh Marie, tell them what you told me to do?

Well, I mean you were like, wow, can't believe, like you sent me a very mean emoji, and I was like, sorry, record some ads or something, so the studio time is not going to waste, you know, right we in here. I had already did that. I was on I was listen. I was vacationing out of the country. Didn't know when the ads got recorded.

So oh well, I.

Mean, if you listen to our episodes, you know that they're been recorded.

I don't know what you're saying, friend, Yeah, exactly, I have no idea what you're saying to me.

Right now, it's coming You're coming in hot. It's too hot outside for all this heat in here. Anyways, Marie's back. We're so happy. We're so excited.

It sounds so stoked.

Oh my god, we're so excited to hear all of everything. Wow, the e prey Ho. But wait before you get into that, what happened last night? Well, sis, you're speaking of v prey Ho. I said, let me go get some dick tonight. And that was last night.

And I matched with this dude earlier in the day and we have been talking and I was like, is he cute? And I sent his photo to Carolina and she was like, he's hot. Can I see him? How come do you?

Maria always messages everybody else, only message Carolina and Andre because they don't sex or dick shame me.

You do that, you did chat, you'd be dick shaming. You'd be like, you'd be like him. That person ain't no black people.

So anyway, Carolina and Andre are my two messiest because they have no stand They won't shame me. No, they don't shame her because they will literally fuck a wall so she feels safe.

It's not about.

Well me banging a wall doesn't make me feel safe, sis that unless there's a chair there.

Anyway, Look listen.

So I matched with this dude and I got real high last night and it was really late in It was like eleven o'clock and we have been talking back and forth and he was like, he was like, so, I guess you're not.

Coming and I was like, uh. He was like, or do you need me to come get you?

And I was like, oh, it's a left driver. And I was like, ah, if.

He hadn't, if he didn't come pick me up, I would not have gone.

Wait, can I see a picture? How about I tell you who I play him in a movie. Okay, Oh my god, he's missing his eyes.

Are you're playing in a movie? Mario? Will you say? It's just a friend, like bigger, but like bigger, like buff, like buff, but like when he took his shirt off, wasn't buff like all you doing shoulders like you don't do nothing, you don't do nothing else? Oh my god? All right, So this so I came to pick me up.

So this pillowcase looking uber driver came and picked you up, pillowcase braid my hair, came and picked me up, and you know, I made him wait for ten minutes outside.

Uh. And then when I got down, I was like, what kind of car you drive? He was like a Mustang? And I was like, oh so he forty five?

The dudes no his Okay, so his profile says twenty seven, right, huh.

So I get in the car and I'm and it's weird already, it's weird. I should not have gone right. I don't know this man.

I'm trying to do vacation eat prey host stuff in my neighborhood. And that doesn't that stupid doesn't make sense.

But if we fucking love for the pod.

I mean for the podcast, Yes, but on my g no, so you v I'm in his car and it's like awkward silence, you know. So I'm like, ah, well, what do you do? He was like, I'm a junior architect and I was like, what does that mean? He was like, do you know what an architect is?

I was like yeah. He was like, I'm the junior that and I was like, so what do you do?

He was definitely lying because he could not tell me what an architect did.

How come you didn ask all this shit up top sis On his profile he says junior architect twenty seven. So in the car, I'm like, well, what do you do? Well, you just wait the car to verify this insists everything that I did last night was foolish and I should not be here right now, right right. So we get to his house. He lives alone. It's a studio, but it looks like a uh.

Don't let yeah, okay, like fifteen minutes from my house, so too close, it's too close to me.

We get there, I'm like, what is this like a weird like halfway house? Think it was weird? Everything?

Uh, everything was just awkward. I think he was no shade to the people who are. But I think he was a little bit on the spectrum because it was very awkward and very like, couldn't make eye contact.

He also needed glasses. He was very blind.

Yeah, but them autistic got the strength Dick autistic. Dick, Dick is strong autistic. Well, let me talk about his autistic.

TWA's not a good We we never kissed. We never kissed, oh my, which is strange.

I was there for like fifteen minutes and then I was like I got to go home because he was like so he's like, we're hooking up a little bit and he's like, let me see your tongue. And I was like, sir, I didn't come here to suck your duke, so that's not gonna happen. And he was like what. And I was like, here's a better idea. How about I sit on your face? And he was like how is that the same thing? And I was like, oh my god, he's really he really is twenty seven, he might be twenty two.

I was like, you know what, my stomach hurts. I gotta go.

He was like, what you feel like you need He's like no, this was me. It was I was like, I'm not gonna come tonight, so.

I gotta go right. If I'm not gonna come, I'm gonna go. So I was like, uh, what, my stomach hurts. I don't feel good.

He was like, you think you need to throw up? I was like, I think I need a poom boom And then I went to order an uber but he dropped me off at my house so door to do a service. Wait, and then he's asking me all these questions like I see you out of blue, check on your on your Instagram?

What do you do?

I was like, sir, you are asking these questions too late to ask these before you were inside me. So wait, So he was inside you and then you were like no, no.

It wasn't it wasn't good. I was like I.

I was like, I should not be here, okay, and this is not gonna end well for me.

One of us is gonna come and it's not gonna be me.

So I'm gonna leave immediately. When you said you shouldn't be there, I was like.

How did you get it? Nobody's supposed to be anyway. So I left. He dropped me off and I'm like, is he a psycho?

Like?

You know's where I live? I deleted my Tinder last night. That's what I did.

That istter, That's how bad it was. Tenderest for vacations only. I'm still on a hinge. I feel like back in New York. What I want now is a summer fling, right, So I feel like on hinges we have conversations, then we go get a drink, and then maybe we sleep together. But last night was conversation car house, back in the car home, So you're reckless, though I know I am reckless and I got home and audience, you need supervision. That's why you need to be messaging me, bitch. You

She was like, uh, what happened? Wait? So I was like, nothing good. I am supportive of the hoeing. If you would have dropped the pin, I would have been there.

I would have been outside his house. That's not the support I need, friend, I don't need you. I don't need to drop a pin in you to be for you to be there when I come outside. I don't need you walk of shame, shaman. I wasn't gonna shout. I'd be like ready to fight. Read it's about to be girl fright City City. He would literally blow on you and you would fall down the set Sydney.

You would shout you humpty dumpty. He would humpty dumpty that ass.

Oh, I would have left eye his ship and you know of match.

Okay, but light is shout out a little kim, he said. Anyway, So that was last night.

But all of the hoeing that I did internationally, I think I was a little bit smarter. It doesn't matter. You don't need to be smart. It's just you need to make sure you're safe. Yeah, smartnes doesn't have anything yesterday. No, smart and safe do go hand in hand. If you're not smart, you're not safe if you if you're smart, you might not fuck but if you safe, you might fucking get out safely.

No, if you're smart, you wouldn't go in the first place. I shouldn't do that. I should have stayed my high ass in the house and watched finished watching a fin line between Love and Hate because that's what I was gonna do. And then I was like, I knew you was.

About to do something shady because I messed you. I was like, what you're doing tonight? Silence.

I was like, oh.

I started to text you back and I was on FaceTime with Carolina, so I was like, silence. I was like, I know what that is. She about to go out there and do her side gig.

Now, this is my main gig. You know I'm unemployed, girl, This is my main gig.

Anyway, I tried to repeat something that worked for me in Amsterdam and this was not that.

All right, Well, this wasn't it.

I mean, the people have literally been on the edge of the seats about what the fuck happened? So tell everybody about the stories. This is this story, this episode is it's all about Marie re re re re forget about me, me me Sorry.

We just go back a couple of weeks.

There was an episode that was all about you, and it was about you being arrested, and we sat through that hilarious story of your struggle and it was all.

About you, you you you you.

Singing I'm here. I'm also I'm on the same key as you.

I want to hear everything. Same note, I don't know. I truly know nothing. Oh you know some I don't know.

You know that.

When I went to London, I matched with this man.

Start exactly off where you started with the e Prey host trip. They want to know where you started. Okay, So I started. I thought I was going to be in the same part of France with the whole three weeks, but after four days I was like, I gotta get the hell out of here.

This place sucks.

My sister got options, okay, sis went to Switzerland. Okay, yum, chocolate factory, cheese museum, doing all that cool Swiss stuff. But that doesn't matter. I didn't bang nobody in knowne those places. I get to London.

I match with this guy.

He's like his profile said Fridays are for shopping and eating, and I was.

Like, today's Friday.

Yeah.

So I matched with him and he's like, what are you doing today?

I was like eating and shopping and he was like, you look like you need some new agent provocateur and I was.

Like, yes, I do. You're buying nine hundred dollar panties. Stupid. I was like yes, I do, absolutely obviously. So we were supposed to meet up, and am I telling the story how I told you the story? I'm not telling the story. How you told me the story?

How I told you?

Okay, great, got it.

So meet up with this guy and he's exactly what you think he is. He's exactly what you think a man who would offer to buy a stranger panties is. He's white and short, and we go in and uh, it's kind of awkward, but also like sis, you.

Know, when when in Rome or when in London.

So I'm picking up all the stuff that I think is attractive and everything that I think is gonna make my butt look big.

And I'm like, soor do you need me to see Do you need to see me trying this stuff on? You know, I got time. I loationed my.

Butt today, so you know, it's a little bit of a fashion show for him. We get to the register, thousands upon thousands of dollars and his card gets declined.

Oh that was fun for me.

I think that the whole ruse there is his card always gets declined and he just wants to see people in lingerie for free. It's so smart. He's brilliant genius and I'm gonna do that, are you?

Yes, but not at agent provocator nude, do it at Claire's successorness.

We're gonna be a rainbow. Rainbow got a lingerie section to baby.

Yeah, okay.

So then I matched with this black dude, beautiful, bearded, his hair, he has all his hair like hot. He tells me that I'm beautiful. I'm like, thank you, sir, you're beautiful. Also, he asked me how long I'm in London for.

I'm like, oh, for two more days or something stupid like that. He unmatched me.

He unmatched me, so that I matched with this German dude who's like tall and looks like a model, right he German. The date was boring, but we go to this bar to get some drinks and this like hotel lobby and we sit down and as soon as we sit down, the bartender is the black dude who unmatched me. Oh my fucking gosh.

Looking sexy as ever, just so hot, oh so beautiful, like beautiful, he had all his teeth and everything. I was like, ah, but I already sat down and I can't.

I mean, there's no way that I in my mind that I can play off us moving hey.

Guy that I don't really care about, a guy that I do like, is here? Can we leave? I didn't say that.

Instead, I sat there in this bartender's line of sight and laughed really hard all night, just han I've ever had.

Screaming.

So finally, this white dude goes away to go to the bathroom, and I'm like, well, I'm pop up.

And talk to my friend. So I jump up and I go to the bar and I'm like, hey, can I have my tabs? I can close out? And he's like, yeah, what's the next after this? What are your plans? I'm like, what are my plans?

And I start to say to him, you look really familiar. I think it's because you unmatched me.

Oh my god.

And right when I start to say that, the white dude comes back upstairs and he's like what's going on? And I'm like, ah, freaking hey, white dude. So I let him walk me back to my hotel.

And I was like, I was gonna double back and go see that bartender. But I was like, well, what if it wasn't him? It was definitely it was him. Yeah, Marie, what the fuck? How did you drop the ball on that baby, I'm so.

Dumb made a three pointer right there.

But the he unmatched me, and I was so upset about him. It was him playing hard to get bitch.

No, he he wants like a wife. He's he's trying to get his inderes elbow on. He wants a wife anyway, So I ended up having sex with somebody else and it was the worst.

Sex in my life.

Okay, please explain.

It was this little Italian man and I know, and I know I did it wrong.

Right, I'm in London. I should have banged a dude from the UK. I banged an Italian that don't speak no English. His name was just seppy. His hair was too long for him to be like laying on top of me. It was the worst sex I've ever had in my life. Literally, while it was happening, I was like, is he inside me? I was like this this sex, this is wrong?

Right?

And his body was squishy.

I was like he had no idea what he was doing. I'm pretty sure he was a virgin. He was twenty six years old. He must have been a virgin. There's no way you're that bad at sex. Because he tricked me, right, like the kisses were like good. You were like, oh okay, wow, he might he might, God know what he's doing.

Right, Oh my god?

Because Italians are good at flirting. What does top lip look like?

Though?

What does top lip look like? I don't remember, sis, I don't remember. But he looked like do y'all remember the Tarzan cartoon? He looked like that, like if Tarzan that's who? Yes, But I didn't say that the guy was ugly. I said the dick was ugly, like the sex was bad, That's what I'm saying.

But he was short.

He was maybe like five six five seven, five to seven.

If you guys can't hear Andrew, he said, that's tragic. Honestly, I think all men are short though, so he might have been five nine, but I'm saying he wasn't tall.

Okay. He spoke no English and just kept saying I love you, And I was like, you have you got to go, so after it's over, after you even give you that b.

Since in my hotel room, I was like I should get out of here, like I gotta go, like that's how.

Bad it was.

I was like I should leave, And the next day I left. So what kept happening is I would have sex with these people and then fly out the.

Day after because I was like, I don't want to see this.

You're so brilliant again. So after London, I went to Amsterdam, had the best sex of my life there. Okay, finally something we could get into talk about that fabulous Okay, So it was the same thing. Right, I'm on tinder, I'm leaving the next day. I'm like, I gotta get some amster dick.

Right. So I had went out on a day Okay, So I was standing on the canal looking.

At the dirty ass water. I heard a voice behind me go, It's beautiful, isn't it. I was like, this is about to be.

Some maid in Manhattan type bs. I turn around.

It's a white man who's way too confident to be talking to me, like, way too cocky to be like that comfortable talking to me.

And I'm like, yeah, it's beautiful. And he asked sick me to dinner. I let him and then he's boring, so I let him pay, and then I.

Was like, I'm going home right to jump on tender right. I let him feed me and then I was going home smart right, genius. So he's like, oh, I'll walk you, it's no problem. And I'm like, all right, I'm leaving him at the door. Okay.

Right.

So we get to my house and I'm like, all right, thanks for walking me. He's like, you're not gonna invite me in. I was like, absolutely not, and I left him on the sidewalk right beautiful. He was like, i'll call you tomorrow. I was like, no, no, we're not gonna speak. My phone is gonna be cut up.

I don't have any data for the rest of my trip.

So I jump on tender and I mated with this dude who's very attractive, like a sexy movie star type.

Man.

Right, you have a picture?

No, so I very I deleted Tender. Right. So I met with this guy. We're talking. I'm like, well, what you know?

You close right, because I'm like, I have to get this done before I leave. He's like, oh, before you come over here, I need to tell you that I used to be a professional skateboarder or something stupid like that.

He was like, and I broke my back.

He's like, I could still walk in stuff, but you know, i'd be tired, so i'd be in a wheelchair. I was like, ah, this crippled nigga hit you with the best dick in your life. But no, no, no, that's said. I said, I'm not coming. He was like what, He's like, everything still works. I was like, I don't care. He was like, I prove it. I said, you don't have anything to prove to me. I've had bad sex with

I was like, it's it's you don't have.

To prove any nothing.

He's like, oh haha. I think he's like I.

Feel like you're you're gonna miss out on something like I'm not coming to your broken house. No I'm not coming. I'm not I'm not walking up the ramp to your house. It's not in a wheelchair. He's in a wheelchair. So I'm acted with this other dude. Okay, that dude unmatching me, the one in the chair. He thought, I got good dick from a d dude from Professor X. That's what I thought. Hey, this has been up and down, bitch, this has been a roller coaster.

I know. I'm trying to tell you the story. So I match with this guy.

He's the most Dutch looking person that you could probably imagine in the world. His name has like mad consonants in it and like a vowel. And he's like, was it all sex, drugs and rock and roll for you this trip or did you have.

Time for some culture? And I was like, I got some culture, I did some drugs, haven't done any sex stuff yet. And he was like, well, what are you waiting for. I was like, you to send me your address and he was like, right, Marie, when did you become I said that, and I dropped my phone and was like, I like left it. I typed it because I was like, that's what I As soon as he said what are you waiting for? I was like, aha, I got something for that ass? Oh my god?

When did you become such a like professional at this in Amsterdam? So anyway, uh, He's like, if I send you my address, you'll come to my I was like, yep, was he hot? He was okay?

And he was like, and you don't have a picture of him, Sydney. I deleted Tinder. You don't screenshot.

Nobody screenshots anymore. I have a picture of this white man, I'm gonna show it to you right now anyway. So, and and I wasn't gonna go.

Okay, I wasn't gonna go.

Andre was like he was like, Yo, Dutch dudes got the have the best sex game. And I was like, shut up, Andre, like you a hoe, shut up? Yeah, And He's like no, Andre's no. But Andre was like, he was like no.

He was like he's gonna have a big dick and he's gonna have it's gonna be good sex.

I was like, all right, whatever, Andre, I I'm gonna go. My flat was early in the morning, but I was like, I'm gonna make time. I get there and we talk, we have some tea.

He builds boats. That's some real like Amsterdam job. He builds boats.

Nurse you regular ass dusty American men.

Y'all don't do ship, you don't do anything. Y'all don't build boats like that's what fuck.

That's why sexy be bad with you. Yeah, y'all need to start building some boats. Find a fucking hobby.

Y'all need to start building some mother haffing boats. This is this is him, so oh my god.

Wow, right, very Dutch, very Dutch bitch. You got a he got like two filters on it, buddy, I could tell you yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Andrew, that's what he looks like. I mean, he was a little redder than this, but that's what.

Wow. Anyway, so we start making out. I'm like, this is weird. I don't really know this man.

But then he just knew what he was doing. Sis.

It was very good, best sex I've ever had. It was great in your entire life, in my entire life. So halfway through the sex, right or like kind of in the beginning of the sex, I hear him sniffing behind me, and I'm like, what you doing cocaine? And I turned around and he's he's like.

Have you heard of poppers? And I was like, I said, a straight why dude in Amsterdam is not about to teach me about no damn poppers? I said, yeah, I know about poppers. Oh my gosh, I do you want some? And I was like, yeah, I do.

So we're doing these poppers, Sis, Magic Andrew.

It's crazy. It's crazy. Wait, okay, explain what poppers feel like.

I don't.

I've never had poppers. I don't even know how to explain it.

It felt.

I mean, it doesn't last that long. It just but also it's.

Like it's kind of like a head high, like a head body so high. It's cute.

Sis.

Anyway, so tell the people what you were telling me on the phone. Don't fucking hold back down, bitch, baby. So I was like, uh. I was like, oh my god, I feel like I feel like you're gonna make me squirt. And he was like, oh am I Sis destroyed the mattress. I think he had to get a new mattress. Also, I think I ruined his TV.

It was going far.

You didn't tell me that the squirting.

No, you told me about the skirting, but the TV, Sis, it was awesome. After it's done, we're all tired, I'm all discombobulated, right.

I floated above my body and I came back and.

Your hair survived all that, baby, I mean, he wasn't doing it in my hair.

Sis.

It was great though, Like he knew exactly what he was doing. Every single thing that he did, he did it with a purpose. And I was like, this is what sex should be like with everybody.

All the time. I'm like, well, what, like what is so great about? Like, how do you know? Anyway? Did you do the.

Poppers before he busted open, or like.

Uh since it was like throughout it was like it was like poppers, that poppers, that poppers. So you guys did pops the whole time.

Squore popper, squirre poppers, your poppers, shout out to rush oh my, and then he was like, he was you can stay here.

I'm not kicking you out. Whatever. I was like, I have a flight to catch in a couple hours. I gotta go. So I left and he had it.

He was asking me what I did or whatever, and I told him I was a comic, but I wouldn't tell him my last name until after I left. So he watched a bunch of my videos and he was like, you're really funny, and that was really fun. So if you're ever in Amsterdam again, holler at me. He didn't say holler at me, but he gave me his phone number and I sent him mine.

I was like, if you're ever in New York, girl, he'll be here next week, He'll.

So yeah, that was crazy. So then I get on a plane I end up in France. The sex in France twas not good. The dude was hot, but he just couldn't get hard. No, he like rolled his dick up and tried to like throw it in me sock out of here, and I was like, I have to go. He gave you flasted dick.

Also, it was ninety seven degrees and there was no central air. Oh, which is rude. But he very europe and he was very European wedding on top of me. And I was like, nah, I can't yuck, and he's like he was like, oho, I'm gonna take a shower.

Took a shower and you were dashed. No, it was in my It was in the house that I was saying, So I had to stay due. But he was but he was hot, you know. He was a rugby player, uh like six ' three sexy, right. Like. He came back to my house and he was on my balcony. He's smoking a cigarette because everybody in Europe smoked cigarettes. And there were these there were all these like tourists below us that were like watching him, and I got up and I was and I just stood to look

They're not pretty like me.

So that's what Europe was was was back and forth, me feeling like the hottest person in the world and then thinking am I ugly?

Like that was what Europe was for me?

Wait? Why it's like walking through the streets like, look at how amazing I look compared to everybody on this dirty ass street?

Yeah? And then am I getting trash?

Dick?

You're right?

Luckily?

Is that why the dick is so bad?

Oh no, no, no, no, no, it's just they can't keep up and they're probably like intimidated a little bit. They couldn't be. They probably thought you were a mirage. They're like, how is this stunning, wonderful person in my house or next to me and about to let me put my dick in her?

They were blown away.

I mean the two people who came to me for sex sucked. Yeah right, how you Uber and some dick to me? And it's like one star one star?

No? I only Uber won?

Okay, So the the Italian dude in London just walked.

He didn't Uber, he was poor, He just walked, yikes to the hotel. Well, the girl, now you know, I know how the dick was.

The way it was if you walk into you walk this way, stop a way.

Yeah, so that was giving me a kid that was bad.

I ubered to the Dutch dick and that, you know, best six euros I have spent. Uh.

And then the French dude had a scooter, so he scooted to me zop zoop, and then he tried to say that he loved me too, and tried to invite himself to New York and was like I could be there in August, and I was like, no, he could be where in August.

I bet you he'll come, but you're like, where are you gonna stay? Well, because mind you, also, the French dude don't really speak no English, so like our whole conversation was like me listening to him and trying to catch everything he was saying and then throwing six French words back at him. So he's like, oh, she's such a good listener. Meanwhile, the whole time, I'm just trying to figure out he's gonna stop talking.

Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

And then I was like, all right, well, let me see if I get some black dick before I get out of here, because you know, I haven't done that for the break yet.

And then it didn't happen.

So last night I was like, Oh, I'm gonna get some I'm gonna sleep with this black dude.

And it was not good.

So honestly, that's what I get for trying to like write the right through trying to balance it out.

Did you do to talk annoyed about which part the guy last night and just that bartender you slipped on that? I definitely did. You should a million percent.

You totally should have let that nigga walk you somewhere wrong and then walk you to the wrong place and then walk fucking back and be like hey boo.

But they want to know some of the looks because the.

Thing about that is that the guy, that guy that I went on that date with and saw the bartender, he lived in that neighborhood. So I was afraid if I came back outside, I was going to bump into him.

And I was like, it don't matter.

You were a free agent, bitch, You are free agient. And it's like, you don't answer to nobody, you know, I don't answer to nobody. But Germans is crazy and we know this, and I was like, I don't want no problem. They can't be crazier than the dude you went to place last night, that dude, so sis. Honestly and truly, I cannot believe I did that.

That is the craziest thing I've.

Been Can you offer e pre ho excursion You've got that same energy, nigga? Yeah, but I can't do that here. This is I'm home. I can't be doing international host stuff.

Are you looking at my nipple right now? You're looking at my nipple?

Real hard?

Is it out? I mean, is it a problem? I didn't go on the trip. I need something too, I need to get one. Yes, any questions, Andrew, do you have any questions about the trip? Or wait?

Hold on, Nope, Andrew, you gotta get a mic because I got a message about you needing to be on the mic. Yeah, you have to be on a microphone. We can no longer speak from afar. It's not right.

Okay, we're doing it. Andrew is at a microphone.

Hello, I see it. I'm moving now. Okay, oh my god.

Wow, and finally on the pod.

Right, Let's talk about what Andrew's wearing first, because people were like, when we give a full rundown of the look Andrew's giving us Hampton's Carnival shirt. No, he's given banana Republic Resort, Sarah.

But it's very slim, Sarah, It's very slim.

It's black and blue horizontal stripes and a tiny kaki short.

And he's got both shoes on.

I need to get new ones.

Okay, So the floor is open. If anybody has any questions about what I've just discussed, I will answer truthfully and honestly and to the best of my ability.

So that means all lies ready to go. I'm actually so ecstatic. I mean, when I spoke to her, I was screaming because I was just so happy. But it was like, yeah, she was just so free out there, screaming, very free, and it was beautiful, and so you know, I would have went back for that bartender like.

Ie that I mean, obviously it was a mistake.

Like who would he play in a movie?

Who would play him in a movie? I don't know. He his light skin, his hair was not low.

Not a frokay Michael Ely, Michael like a young not tired Michael.

Yeah yeah, yeah, because he'd be looking real weird. Yeah, you know it works, like right, that's why he's tired, right right, right, right, right? But do you know who Michael Ely is absolutely you could tell by Andrew's hairline. You don't know who is. And we're going to take a minute to google Michael Eely. I'm letting y'all do it now.

Hold on.

I just wish I had kind of that, kind of that, but more but more like manly and less pretty, less pretty, more like he had.

A bigger he had a nicer body.

Viewers, I mean listeners, I hope you're out there googling who Michael Ely is. Look at that less tired, younger, but also more manly. Okay, the only thing that him and Michael Eely have in common is the complexion.

Sis. He didn't really look like this, but like.

In the movie, Sure does he have blue eyes?

Michael Ely? Yeah? You like black dudes that have blue eyes?

No, I mean, I've been seeing all the dick Andrews getting. I mean, why this is a very two sided conversation over here.

Andrew, you've been getting a lot of dick too.

Baby. Well, there's a West Village. Yeah, I'm just telling Sydney that it's this guy who has an airbnb. It's a mister B and B. So it's for gay people exclusively.

Mister B and B.

So yeah, and so when gay people come to your area, the host will show them like, this is the queer places to go to. This is like the neighborhoods not to go to.

Oh it's not a little tour guide.

It's cute, but you live in New York.

What you need that for? I don't know, you want an airbnb?

So this is him we shown I've shown you him before. Bomb Dick.

Absolutely, you heard that.

He made me a pizza last week and then gave me a full body massage and then ate me out. Why oh that's what ate you out?

And you mean tossed your salad.

After after making it, after he made me food too.

He coked in Asia, as I know.

Absolutely, He's like, oh.

Now I'm ready for the entrel.

Yes, yeah, pizza was the app and your ass was the.

Desserts.

And I was layered in that that coconut whatever, lubricant whatever, the body massage oil. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

I got a little massage too.

That's cute. It is.

It was really cute.

Yeah, Andrew, y'all got all types of yeast infections.

Yeah, the pillow got coconut oil in it. Stew.

But anyway, he has mister B ANDB and he doesn't. He was like, I have this like lesbian couple that requested to stay with me, Sydney and Adrian. Yeah, Sydney and Adrian in fact. And and so he was like, I'm really scared about him. I'm like, I don't see the connection here. And so he explains it like, I just think that women are disgusting. They're gonna expect me to buy them tampons and everything. I'm like, these are grown US women that are probably.

Have gone through menopause. Yeah, it was too Hillary Clintons. They just have a pantsuits. That's it. That's all they need.

I am just absolutely dumbfounded. And then he's just they're disgusting.

He's ignorant and disgusting. This guy, this is the salad guy.

This is the salad guy. Yes, and so he said, I just don't want them to throw the like bloody tampon in my trash can, because that's discussing. I'm like, you put your dick, a raw penis into a fucking man's butthole.

What are you talking about yourself?

I'm talking about my.

So you had to protected sex, okay, we rat dog.

Well he was like, well, there's no way his dick is dirty. He does my butt. Yeah, mister pizza hut himself. Twass salad. He did you a little olive garden.

When you're here, you're so trill.

They got the best salad though. I could just eat the breadsticks and the salad.

That you eat it.

That's it, that's it. Not Andrews.

Andrews type. You have got no house. Wow. So rude.

But then then a few days ago there was someone else, a freaking body builder, so small diggers, small one but like huge, Oh.

My god, attractive.

Looks like your type.

Is too thick.

I feel like I know him. He's a middle school English teacher.

I thought you would say he's a middle schooler. I was gonna say he is.

He's a middle schooler.

Yeah, oh yeah, he's he's cute, he's he's.

A little basic, but you know het.

Just look at the I mean, look at that Abercromi and Fit shirt he got on.

So he is basic.

He probably has nobody brown in his life. I just feel like when his is he tall, he doesn't.

Look like no. I was fully expecting him to be like five seven, but he was like five eleven.

He was tall, that's a good little gotcha a good little chip. Please.

Yes, he's got a great body, he's corny, is terrible. Well it happens. You know, it's very hard to just be perfect, it really is. I don't need you to be perfect. I don't need you to be perfect. I just need you to have some type of technique. I need you to know kind of what you're doing right Like if I'm if I'm coming in hot with.

Uh address that was very impressive, if I'm hitting you with that, I need you to hit me with some Like but what's your technique?

Marie?

I was like, wow, what's So?

When I was at my house before this beautiful frenchman ruined my trip, I was like, oh, you look at you give good massages because he was like stroking my leg and I was like, you look at you give a good massage.

And he was like, oh, I.

Could show you.

And I was like okay, And we're talking and talking and he's like, do you want this massage or not? Do you have body oil?

Obviously the house that I was saying at head body oil, thank you so much. So we go into the bedroom and he's like, I'm should.

I take off my shorts. I can't have a massage with these shorts.

Ones. I took them off, but I also had on a body suit and he was like, you should probably take that off too.

He's like, cause the strap's.

Gonna be in the way, and I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right right. So I'm like, I'm like, well, don't look at me.

Why I take it off? Turn around, Oh you're trying to.

Be coin now, bitch. You're like, yeah, come on through, nigga, And now you're like actually. But that situation was different because he had messaged. We had been talking for a couple of days, and he was like, what are you doing today? And I was like, oh, I just woke up.

I'm hungry. And he was like, I could come to you and we can get some food in your neighborhood. I'm on my scooter. So he came over.

We ate, he came to my house, we met at a thing, We ate, came back but naked, got a massage, and.

Then we had sex.

But the sex was terrible.

But I was also like, but what is your technique? My technique is if it's not working for me, I just leave.

My techniq is also if you offer me poppers. Also, you got a car and you're picking me up, then I'm coming over. My technique is that, like you know, hot pocket. Okay, your body, your poty is a vessel. Your body is a vessel to be used used properly.

You know, I said last night, I had no makeup on and I just showed up like I had looked all day. So that was last night.

But do you have a picture of him? That guy?

I have a picture of him, Marie.

See this is what I'm talking about. When you went on your little like excursions. I just wanted screenshots, that's all I Okay, I have screenshots of this particular Okay, okay, oh my god, I'm excited. I'm excited.

Hold on, wait.

Wait, obsessed, Okay, stressed out.

Look look at junior architect. Oh you showed me that.

Though we were we were talking, we were like, oh, he's not he's not bad looking. But I was like, I didn't like the pictures that he was taking. No, I don't these these pictures of a man in mirror do?

I hate that. That's why I'm starting in the mirror.

Yeah, he's cut. There's nothing that I would be like blown away that would be like, oh, he's basic. Yeah. Yeah, mirror picture pictures back.

It's a lot of selfies. It was only in a mirror and I was like that's what that's why.

I was like, eh, friends, Yeah.

I was like, he ain't got no friends. Social skills anyway. Uh. He was definitely lying about being a junior architect. And then at one point he pulled up a blueprint, a random blueprint there was he did that.

That's Geeddy images. I was like, what is that and he was like, this is my job and I was like, but what is it? What is it? I was like, but what is it? He was like it's a school and I was like, I was like, he just got out of jail. I was like, there's no way this man.

Yeah.

And then he was like what are you doing tomorrow? And I was like I don't know. I'm gonna be busy though.

No.

I said to him what are you doing? And he was like seeing you and I was like, he.

Said what do you haven? I was like, stuff, I'm gonna be busy. He was like like what you got? And I was like stuff and he was like so he was.

I'm gonna pull up.

He's inside of you for like what five minutes.

It was very brief. It was very brief because as it.

Was happening, I was like, you know what, like this is not like I have to go home after this. When it was in Amsterdam, and when it was in London, and when it was in France, it was like, oh, whatever the matter, but here I will potentially bump into that dude at Trader Jokes.

Yeah potentially yeah, and that's what I don't like.

And and he saw your Instagram. Yeah yeah, he's can write on your ship, you can write on your wall.

He could, but I can also block him. Block him? Now, I should block him. You should block him.

I was confused. How did because or you should.

Him to the first and then block it? You know what I mean?

How did you get penetrated by him without kissing him?

Ill Andrew, we do not say penetrate here, penetration. I say that because this is what happened. He was like, let me see your tongue, and I was like, I showed him. I was like, like, I showed him my tongue and he was like, are you serious right now? And I was like, what do you mean? This is my tongue? And he was like he's like pointing to his dick.

He's trying to do sign language.

Hey, Ken, he's trying to get a blowjob with sign language. Ill bro disgusting, the world's greatest stuff. I was like, I didn't come over here to suck your dick, flat out, That's what I said.

I did not come over here to suck your dick. And he was like what an?

And I was like, I did not come here. And I was holding his dick when I said this, so I squeezed it.

I did not come here to suck your dick.

And he was like, okay, so what you're trying to do? And I was like, how about I sit on your face instead? Girl?

He was and he was so confused. He was like he was like, how is that the same thing?

And I was like, it's literally the same exact thing, the same thing, and he was like oh.

And then I was like do you have condoms? That's how we got inside me.

I asked if he had condoms.

I was like, what, I'm here, so we's see what happens.

So what what? What size was it? Uh?

He pulled out a magnum condom. Oh, they all pull out pull out.

A little extra medium magnum condom and this is me watching him put it on.

Just just staring right at for you, that gift of the cat, like filing its nails exactly.

Yeah, I was filing my nailsis I was like, hmmm, is that what we're doing? Is that who you think you are? So you think you can dance anyway? So we start having sex. It was just the whole thing was was bad. And he didn't kiss you. That's kiss yeah, but he didn't kiss you.

That's weird. He didn't even try to go in it is.

It is weird. But also he probably was intimidating.

He was like, He's like, she just yelled that she's not gonna suck my dick. Why would she kiss me? Yeah, but why are you asking me to suck your dick if you haven't even kissed me? What are we talking about here? Listener, listeners, listeners, it's called for play kissing sis When I tell you there was none because it was like, oh, well, what's on the table here? Well let's discuss what's happening here?

Okay, wait, was there a playlist? Is there any music?

Any candles? The movie was playing?

Oh?

I don't even know, so.

He hits you with a tired netflix and chill background music. It wasn't even music, it was like an Italian film playing. Oh my god, I almost forgot to tell you guys this. So when I was in Ampstam, yeah, I matched with this dude.

Some'm like old dude.

He was like forty four, right, and he's like the first thing he says to me is uh. He was like, hey, you ever pegg you ever? You ever fuck a man? And I was like no, but I want to. And he was like, oh well. He was like, tonight's your night.

And I was like, man, I'm peg mad.

He's forty four. This Australian man freaking messy. A disaster because he started sending me videos. He was like, you want me to send you some videos and stuff that I do and I.

Was like, oh this I do, Yes, I do send me videos and how were they?

They were nasty? I'm blowing away.

So he's talking to me and he's like so he's like well. He was like I can send a car.

To come get you. I was like okay. He was like what before you come over, let's discuss what's on the table. He was like kissing.

I was like, no, I'm not kissing you, grous, I'm just coming to peg you and then I'm leaving.

That's all that I want to say. You gotta do four play before you peg. No, I need such.

An asshole like he was like, you do drugs. You need some drugs, like Cocaine'm on cocaine right now.

I was like poppers.

Guy was after, wait, will you do poppers in the States? Now?

Will I do States poppers? Domestic popper? Not I'm not. I'm not going to purchase poppers, but if poppers are available in the home, then I'll.

Shout out to Joe Kimboosters, Bow and Yang, everybody whoever got the poppers.

Let's go.

Pull up, pull up anyway, this this guy and I did not.

I didn't I never met him. But I was fully prepared to peg this dude. And then he was like okay. So he was like, I want to be able to kiss you on the mouth, open, like with tongue. And I was like, you're not gonna get me. He was like, and then you're gonna peg me and then I'm gonna have sex with you. And I was like, no, no.

You know, you just lost one. You lost one right, So that is you just lost one. I was fully prepared to peg this man though you might win some, but you just lost one. Because I was like, it's gonna be bad. But I was like, at least I'm in Amsterdam and I'm getting in work for when I when the picking matters. Friends, these the confidence, the stories, this has been, Yeah, out of control.

I know I should have done better.

No, I did great. I think you did great. I think you know your next go round you're gonna level up. You know you're gonna put some more stank on it. But I'm proud of everything that you've accomplished in three weeks. The four people, I mean I knew you for Like.

The TV spirt was really honorable, really honorable.

Yeah, I mean I watched it just kind of like sligh, Are you serious? Are you're lying your guess? It was on the windows, No, it was everywhere.

He sent me a text a message after I left and was like, next time, you got to give up your mattress because it was like a big Did you see the.

Size of this table? That's how big the west spot was.

Oh my god, Marie, I don't believe you re peede on that man. I guess I peed on okay, because after I was done, I was like, well, I have to go pee and he was like still yeah. I was like, that's not what I'm squirting is. It's not white pee. You definitely peed.

Sure, maybe I did this, but I had to pee when I was done. So it's a lot of pee.

You drank water and you did poppers.

Poppers make you pee, Andrew are poppers expert. I'm not a poppers expert, but oh, you haven't done poppers.

I've done poppers like a few times. I'm not I'm not on the bandwagon though.

I'm out of Let me introduce you to a fine name.

I mean, wow, this is the time of my life where I'm like, fuck, man, this is this is a bad time to be sober. You want to do some poppers right now? Oh I can't. I'm coming up on two years. If I was thirty days in, I would do some poppers if I'd be like a very laughs, it's just been thirty days. Well, I was like, well, what is poppers? It's like keyboard cleaner or something.

Yeah. If they saw that, like yeah, like the hardware.

Yeah, typically I could do poppers.

This is not a drug drug.

It's like huffing paint. Get you to me more on SIS.

Listeners, If I'm a sober person, can.

I do poppers?

Answer is no, friend, are you sure you got to be sober all the way through?

No poppers for you? What do you want to do poppers and bang somebody?

I don't know?

You know, you know I'm in an.

Open relationship, so free agent, open relationship. Can you tell the listeners what you're talking about?

SIS?

I mean, I've dropped this bomb like ten minutes before the pie is over. But yeah, I'm in an open relationship. Just in case you see Adrian out there, don't text me, don't don't be sending you no pictures, know nothing I don't want, don't don't do it fully.

And you know that was gonna happen. People are gonna be like, oh that was like yeah, hey, that was like City's girlfriend.

I'm famous. Yeah, I'm famous. I got a blue check. New York is small. Somebody's gonna text me something and I was gonna be ready to fight. So yeah, she's uh, she's out here. She's gonna have a hot girl summer.

I'm allowing it.

Hot girl, I'm allowing it. Let Adrian be free and fun. Are you gonna have a hot girl summer? What's happening since you're trying to do these.

Poppers or not?

No, I'm all set. I'm just gonna be real boring like I have been, you know, being consistent.

Wow, well, friend, listen, I am on. I bought.

I didn't bring any gifts for anybody back from Europe, but I did bring Slutty Reazy back. So Slutty Reasy is here. Yeah.

The host centennial has started with six months left for the end of the year. Yeah, but we out here. Okay, that's worth it. Hot girl summer act up, smacked up all summer.

Yeah, you're usually so private about all your sex stuff.

Yeah, a lot. All of it is on here and I'm going to uh to this episode.

We're deaf not editing any of this.

Take it all out. We cannot.

Every time I said that word dick sensor say put like a I saw his women. Yeah, that's our brand to not take anything out of the pod. Sydney. Please, we we barely do any Edits hardly makes my I mean I literally never asked for an edit, but I feel like Sydney, you asked for one, would.

I ask you to go about someone at work.

I said something mean about somebody did and my old joke, and now thinking about it, it's so stupid.

It's wait.

I have a couple of shout outs, because that's what we're going to do. I had Kathleen firm Organ send me some bisc off to Oh GRASSI ass for you. Kathleen, You're amazing. She wrote a little note to the bisco Off Queen Sydney. Don't let Marie shame you. Bisc Off is fucking delish. Thank you and Marie for making me laugh so much, especially on the hard days. X ex Kathleen from Oregon. Oh you're so lean. Shout out to you, Kathleen,

Thank you guys for.

Actually, you know, listening to us and taking directions quite well.

Honestly, you know, you guys are the real I was really surprised.

I was like, oh, look at them sending us a stories. Wait, somebody had an uber story that was really funny. Let me try to find that. Uh it was cut up. I didn't have a queue up bout up up I wasn't. I wasn't even thinking because I was just like, oh, I'm not going to do this, And then I'm like, actually I should because I did ask them. Oh, somebody wrote from London. I think her name is Sasha. Sasha. Hey, girls, I hope you're doing both. No, I hope you're both

Was okay, sins. If you're in Sunny London, go down to Short Ditch and the hotel that I, uh, the bartender works at is called Actually I don't remember the name of the hotel. Fuck fuck can you find out? Yeah, I'm gonna find out right now.

Okay, let me continue. Work's been a madness. Work has been madness today. So you two are bringing me joy whilst I cook dinner. You're both so witty and razor sharp. Keep it up, ladies, you're winning Alexandra X so sorry Alexandra from London.

Thank you, baby, baby, You're fantastic.

Oh and then we had Tiara Sinda's a bad Uber experience. I guess it's from the last episode that we just put up last summer.

My mother and I.

I went to go to the met in NYC. We caught an Uber back to Penn station and this guy was the worst driver I've ever had. When we got to the station, we tried to get out, and he yelled at us to stay in the car because he wanted to drop us around the corner. He then tries to take off and the taxi lane in front of the station and almost hits another taxi. The taximan starts yelling, and our Uber keeps moving forward and crashes into the taxi.

It's an Uber. They of course they paid, yeah, but I would have just wrote like, oh my god, here's my experience. And Uber was gonna give them five dollars, you know, that's what Uber does. No, no, no, no, real people wait, hold on.

I got into Uber like three weeks three days ago, and my uber got in an accident.

I took pictures in everything. Boo, I got out in the front.

I was taking photos. Send it to Uber. They sent me all my money back.

Well, it sounds like it sounds like they ran out and jumped on the Low Island railroad. So I don't think that they took pictures of the uber crash.

There's other stuff, but I can't find it right now. You know, there's you know, I love that you guys are sending us stuff. We feel way more official. Just keep sending this. If you guys have more than bisc off, send that as well. You got bathing suits, bathing suits, y'all got bathing suits, you got dick.

Listen, well, I wear a size two and bathing suits, and I wear a size twelve and Dicks, and I'll take whatever she's having.

Some of the listeners are real, real cute, and the dm s too.

D this is what they're talking about. He producer Andrew love you on the podcast in the background.

In the background, Well, I mean it, I know this is a big deal.

Marie talking about her excursions, and then Andrew on a microphone like, we're really.

Just elevating as a group. This feels like a Patreon episode. Honestly, surely this is.

So free and it's stupid. It should have been on Patreon.

It's just so freak you know what Marie said.

Marie was like, oh no, no, no, I have to I have to tell all of this on the on the pot and I was like, you know what's funny. We got some more stories to put on the Patreon. Anal in the ace? We got that anal in the a a in the ace. Yeah, Marie, you got another story that you didn't put on here. Oh there, gonna put me on.

Bless you guy. Slide on over to the Patreon if you want to hear an egg.

You see how I do?

Si? You see how baby Patreon? It's something wrong with you, dude, it is.

Yes. Sidney was like, save all your stories for the Patreon and I was like, Sis, it's too many people listening that know that I'm gone and want to know what's happening.

Yeah, did you pray her is a movement? Since it's a mood?

Did you uh?

Did you miss us.

The podcast?

No?

Us, like all your friends, your family. Yeah, you know some of the days, some of the nights when I was out and I was like, I gotta be out here by myself. I got to be social out here in New Street. I was, I'm not, I'm not built to travel by myself. You're not.

I'm not built to be like traveling by myself.

If I'm meeting people who live in different cities, yes, but actually being on a road alone, I.

Was like, this sucks.

You have companions, though, you had some companions out there, have three.

Companions and one of them was trash.

Yeah.

I mean one of them was nice, but he's trashed too. Yeah.

I just every time I saw you pose something, I was like, damn, Marie needs me.

Because I was like, I was like, I know she has looks who can take pictures of her? Honestly, And that was like the most upsetting part about the trip is like, who's gonna take all these feos?

You had some really cute photos, yeah that I took.

Yeah, but I took like the dude from last night in a mirror, which is fine.

You're an influencer and that's like our brand to have a mirror pick.

It was it was crazy, but I I left my my Airbnb like twenty days earlier, twenty one days early, and the chick was not trying to give me my money back.

What so I had.

It was this whole thing where my grandma's drama.

And my yeah, and my grandfather had died the day before I left formever, I know, and so Airbnb was like, well, if there's an extenuating sick circumstance, then you'll get you We'll get you your money back.

Somebody died, and I was like, somebody did, actually, somebody did. Actually Yeah.

So the trip was not at all planned because I thought, oh, three weeks one place. I made no plans, no arrangements to go nowhere else. Marie Adrian just called, hey Adrian, you're on the pod.

Oh I thought you were ringing the doorbell.

I don't know. Wow do you do you hear that open relationship energy? She's like, oh my god, just saw you are at the door, goodbye. Wow.

Did you see how my own girlfriend curved me on my fucking podcast?

Sidney, what you're gonna do? You need to have a hot girl summer too. She's in an open relationship. You win an open relationship now we'll get you some hopes.

Sis. No, I don't want to get you some hopes, some young mas.

No, I don't want anybody. I'm all sad. I don't have the mental capacity.

Jan now, Monnee walks in right now, lifts her skirt up. What you're doing, Sis, I don't like these hypothetical scenarios. Is coming in to do uh see treatment? Dang so No?

No, she pulls up, You bump into her at the Age Hotel, Sis, what's happening?

I really love that tight Rope song that you had back years ago. I really love that song.

Nothing from the new album, nothing about Hidden Figures, No, that song that you released nineteen years ago. I really loved your eyebrows in Moonlight.

Wow, I have no game. I know that I have no game.

People people message me in my dms, and they're very respectful and friendly and just. There will be a couple of people who will say, like, damn.

No disrespect, but damn you're fine, no disrespect, but damn them titties.

No, they don't say that, they don't even say that. They're very like they. I'm everybody's aunt. It's crazy because I'm younger than everyone hilarious.

People don't say anything disrespectful to me and my dms either, So there's that.

Yeah, well, Marie, you're fucking ruthless, especially now you know I'm a hoe now, so I really have no filter, no qualms about shutting down a man in a wheelchair.

I'm not sitting on.

You or that h.

Oh merch.

On that chair. He was like, everything works.

Wait, how did you not see that he was in a chair which I hadn't deleted?

Well, he unmatched me, but how did I not see he's not One of the pictures was like him laying in like a hammock with like how did he get axis?

He rolled and threw his body at it. He was like.

The most problematic thing.

We're all know what is problematic.

I feel like we'll have more to talk about as well going forward. We're going to try to get some a less guess coming up.

It's in the works, merch a list guests coming.

In the works.

And the message me on Instagram and was like every time you guys say merch, is somebody writing down the stuff for merch?

And I was like I was, but I realized that it was like you were saying merch after every single thing that I was like, I can't keep up.

You can't keep up that right there is merch.

Yeah, merch.

But someone wrote me they were like, yeah, I think you guys saying merch is is the bit is merch. Yeah, it's merch.

I'm like, yeah, if you can make a shirt, this is. And then one person wrote me was like, if.

You guys don't fucking make something that it's merch worthy already, I'm so tired of you saying merch.

Just fucking do it already.

What would be the one thing that you was like, Yeah, put some fire underneath my ass, bitch, Yeah, talk to me crazy, I love it.

Come on, summer fucking moist. Yeah, stick a biscoff in my ass. Yeah, thinks goff in my ass's crazy than anything said on the water that actually is pizza and salads. That's merch. Biscoff in my ass. I'm not wearing that shirt. That's not coming to my size. Merch. What did you say, Andrew?

What was your question?

No?

No, what what would be the one thing that you put on the merch?

Cotton gaunt? And then the word merch?

I like, merch? Merch is so funny merch.

Yeah, I mean that's what we do an Ariel font just big oot live action.

What do we think?

So I don't care about these live actions.

I was like, you, we are so bored. We literally cannot rep We can't do new content. We have to go back in the vault and make things.

But there's some new stuff there. I don't know. I don't know how I feel about a black Mermaid. I feel like they gave.

Her red locks, and it's like, was that a real photo?

Yeah, yeah, like a like a vintage not mermaid outfits. Just I don't know.

I don't I feel like it's gonna look bad. I have a lot of thoughts about it. But somebody was like, yeah, but Brandy gave us Cinderella and he was like the best Cinderella ever. And I was like, oh, I forgot uh we had a black Cinderella and whoop he was in it and the prince was Asian.

They gave us everything. They gave us multicultural Cinderella. So maybe they'll do it up, That's what I'm saying. Maybe they'll do it well. But Melissa McCarthy is Ursula, and that I think is problematic.

Why because because Ursula in my mind is is either a big black woman or a big black drag queen. Like Ursula is not a funny, goofy white lady, right, Luisa McCarthy.

Is not gonna play. She's not gonna give us drama. She's gonna give us kind of like silly.

Yeah.

Also, she can't sing, and she can't sing yeah, mass yeah.

But I'm not here for black Ursula taking a white woman's voice. I'm not here for that.

I mean, I feel like a drag queen could have done it and would have done it. Yeah, should have a drag queen, right, I would have been here for a drag queen. It would have been grabbed. The drac queen would have nailed it.

Disney would never do that.

If Disney would never the one like the one character.

In live action Beating the Beast was supposed to be gay and then people were like, we're not even showing it at the theater, we can't even show it to the children. Yes, yeah, that little one. I think it was like Josh Goad was he gay in the movie. I didn't watch it, and it's just read all the headline.

Are they so complicated? It's a fucking animation.

Yeah, but people like what they like.

Like when the Hunger Games Books movie came out, people were like, Roue is black in the in the book, it doesn't say she's black, And it was like she's not even a main characteristic Like let this little black girl get her little check.

And they were like, people get super upset about this movie stuff.

Yeah.

I saw the New Spider Man and Zendaia Zenda is.

Mary Jane good character?

Is this black girl playing? I mean, I don't she's taller than Spider Man. I don't make no. I was like they could have picked Damn Kirsten dunst Becky, Oh my.

God, with her up teeth, Oh my god, Hey hey.

She has character merchant. Well did we learn anything today?

So much? I'm just like, I'm exhausted from everything that you told us, Marie. I'm so glad that you've You're like you're turning a new leaf. You're telling us your business. You're fucking left and right, no condom.

Condoms ever, you're talking about your county, wash a math. I went soapia bitch, Andrew.

You could keep telling us your business and you know, there's always a chair for you at the podcast.

If there's nobody sitting in it.

Of course, this is the first time I've ever sat in the chair. It feels so weird.

Well you know now, but it's still moist from.

Last week.

Yeah.

Well, the good thing is is that people were already sliding in your dms before. But now it's like y'all should just flood that ship or put shady palm trees all over his fucking Instagram?

Can we jack Knight Andrew?

Please? Can we do that shady palm trees all over his ship? And for those of you who have not yet done this, and I'm sure it's many of you, go ahead and go to check Knight's space.

He can He just bought a tesla. He just he has money.

He just bought a tesla.

He bought a tesla. He just he rented a tesla, or he bought it. He bought it. Well, that's what happens when you make that grownish money, that blackish he's making ABC money.

It's fucking stupid, man. I know I can't wait to ride in that tesla. No, no, no, no, I can't wait for us to get that kind of money. If I had that type of money, then I would we still wouldn't buy that car. I wouldn't buy that car and buy that car, but I would be even meaner to men and meaner to me.

So I would that be meaner to you, sis be meaner to men.

I would literally you'd be nicer to me in the app, I'll be the same level of mean to you, consistent level mean slash nights. Would you take me to dinner?

Says uh? Were we not talking about.

Us both having money and you're asking me to You know, Sidney, you have a job now and I'm unemployed, and you have not taken me to dinner with your corporate card.

So honestly, I don't have one, honestly, And let's.

Not forget when I was you, when I was a waitress, I was like Marie was my girlfriend. Whatever you want you want to.

Ubers, I got you. Let's get food. You want drinks? Oh yeah, I remember on Valentine's Day when you saved me. You sent me that uber. I was on a date with this dude and he.

Was, Oh my god, uber all the way from the Upper East Side and brought you.

To my job. I am fucking great.

A We're I'm so glad we're together here give me your hand. I mischief, I.

Got chips, I got biscough and this a bitch. I got bisclough in my hands. I love you all right, bye, guys.

To make sure you raise, subscribe, review all that shit.

And don't be ho shaming.

Okayat pray how and if you get there and you feel like you're not gonna come, tell him, I didn't come here to suck your dick. Yeah, that's merch merch. I didn't come here to suck your dick merch. Can that be our second shirt? That's our second shirt.

The first one is merch merch.

The second one is I didn't come here to suck your dick.

Can we get stickers? Stickiers?

I love it? License plates? All right, bye, guys, Thank you, Love your terrible faces.

By friends Forever.

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