Dressed and Stressed w/ Eva Evans

Who were listening to math.

Wow, be ready friends, Yes, totally, we're here. Hi, guys, what's going on? We got a mess, We got a good episode for you today.

You do. Yeah, I'm here.

The voice that you're hearing in the background is a very funny comedian who performs all over the I'm gonna say world, not the fact, because you really you passport.

Is getting stamped. Stamp. That's a fat love that for you. Thank you. It's very funny. Eva Evan. Hey, y'all, they can see me, of course. Girl. We're live. Yeah, we're live. It's hey.

The Instagram is out, are out, We're all live here on Netflix.

Yes, hey y'all, I'm here. Yeah, I'm so excited. This is cute. So we're just gonna talk about what our mess was for the week, and then we jump.

For the week. Girl, let me see what's today.

I say you, Susande, No, you have your mess for the don't talk about our mess for the week.

Ok okay, okay, gotcha good. I love it. Sydney. How you feeling today? Pretty good? I'm chilling. I like your hat. I fire. Yeah.

Our friend's birthday party was last week and there was a cano shop like right by her house. And so I went in and they had like thirty percent off and it still was expensive. It still was expensive, right, Yeah, so I don't I don't even really think I got a deal. But yeah, I love the color. I was like, I want color bad.

It's giving Zendea and challengers for the press run. Okay, it looks like a tennis ball.

Yes, I see that.

I see that. I did watch the movie. But I did look like.

She wore a hat.

No, I'm about the for the red carpet. She's wearing like tennis adjacent fitts. She would like the heels with the tennis ball. And oh, okay, you know.

Low roach, it is giving.

That's what you paid for the lawn, roach, And how are you doing?

What's going on? I'm okay? Sis. I woke up this morning and I didn't have any hot water.

No ten degrees outside felt like six, no hot water into it. Yeah yeah, I was like, I'm not And the water pressure was real low, so it wasn't even like I could pretend to take a shower in the cold. It was just no, you can't see no shower. I'd rather go out funky And yeah, I got a baby white. I'm doing baby bath.

I tried to.

I was like, well, maybe if I go to the gym, if the gym has a shower, I'll use that. And I was like, I can't tell if this pilate studio lets people bathe there. I was like, I called them. Nobody picked up. I said, I guess it wasn't meant to be. I'm just gonna be funky for a couple of hours. Yeah, my gym got a shower and us on a girl. Oh damn, where's this gym you got?

Oh? Okay, okay.

From that conversation and you just started going to the I'm going two weeks and I love it.

Oh, I love it. This is beautiful. Yes, love it.

Let's I want to get into my mess for the week because it's a continuation of something that we talked about.

A few episodes ago. An episode ago.

So last time we had Caleb here, I was talking about how I had two dudes that I had unblocked and we were having a good time. One of the guys has friends that listen to the podcast, and they thought I was talking about one of these people, and so they sent him the episode. A bunch of people sent him the episode and Tom stamps Tom CODs and they were like, have you heard this?

Are you listening to this episode? I think that's messy. I think it's I think it's messy to hear me on this podcast.

Doing my job and then going to a person that you assume I'm talking about and being like, have you heard her talking about you? I think that's mess and not being messy. No, I'm being honest and funny. Yeah, and messy.

No, it's your story to tell as long as you was a name dropping.

No, I wouldn't say a single name the person. What the message is? What you're telling your friends to make them think that you need to be in the know? Why would I? If I'm on a public platform, we have an understanding. Your friends don't. So what is the misunderstanding? You're not letting them know what we got going on? The transparents.

Yeah, I don't like his friends. Yeah. No, he was like you I have, like you got like ten people that I know?

Yeah, your friends, this corning you could time stamp business send us to him.

Yeah. Absolutely, Hey friends, it's none of your damn business. Yeah, only he having a good time or not?

Yeah, you're messing up you're messing up the vobes and you're not really contributing.

Uh to mess in a positive manner.

It's negative mess it is now when they run back to the guy, that doesn't stop the guy from talking to us, Like, well, he came straight to me to be right, yeah, exactly ahead her mind.

He said, I listened. I didn't love it.

I said, oh, okay, new development development listened.

I didn't love it.

I said, wow, I can't believe you listened to me at work with people invasion of prophecy. But I guess I'm not gonna talk about him no more so that these people that are, you know, spying, don't have anything to report back.

But I mean, but it's I mean, it's mainly like if you're not a single gal, because if you're a single gal, it's like single gals should chatting if they want.

That's what we're doing.

I've been single this whole time. Clock that this.

With the team to do single the middle thing t or I don't, I don't know. I'm putting all the fingers. It's been with my whole hand.

Anyway, I think that that's messy. You know, we listen, but we don't judge. No, no, they're judging. We listened, and we judge, but we can found. Yeah, found share, he listen, we judge, we don't share.

Oh you know it's messy sharing the pod to him but not sharing it to everyone.

Everyone needs to be listening to you. H Are you doing the work?

And the work is passing on the mess? Mess is a contribution to the community.

What are you doing? Have you shared it with your mother, with her, with your congregation at the church, the church?

Have you sent it to your libel congressman? Tag them right, let them know this episode.

It's crazy anyway, you know, I do what I can for the community, and the community the community stabbed me in the back, and so sad we are.

That's that's what happens when men are involved. I think, oh yeah, I had a situation like that.

So when I didn't name drop anybody, I was talking about somebody and he came and he hit me up like, oh, I want to come and speak my piece next episode. I'm like, no one knows who you are, No one cares exactly because he's like you know, celebrity comedians like it went.

It got like a lot of freaking views.

Okay, like celebrities were commenting on us that he wanted to get in on it.

No, I'm like, you're your shadows so corny. Yeah, I mean I I when I was with a girlfriend, I mean, people would tell her, hey, what's going on with y'all? Because Sydney's talking on the said, this is not about y'all.

This is about and in some podcasts, right and then sometimes like for material, we'll talk about something that happened like h before this person, or I'm saying like our life is our work.

I was fully being like, yeah, you know this happened the other night, going on.

Currently left four pm.

I was giving timestamp that funny Okay, okay, okay, yeah, yeah that's funny.

But it's like I'm a comedian, like sometimes obviously I'm gonna exaggerate some things, add some things for the laughs, but like, you can't take everything that I say to.

The large is the mic on. You can't take everything seriously, y'all?

What is going on all the time?

Me with your local politician, Baby, I'm not George Stops.

Yeah, I'm with you.

Yeah, it's because they be putting more pressure on us

Like before you even really start getting into it with them, they'll be like, don't put me.

In your skill and it's like my skin, don't put me in there?

Like can we just can we just say when you say skits to a comedian, that feels like a slur because a lot of times we're not doing ever doing a skit.

It's never we're not no, we're this is not vine. I'm not.

I'm also like not an Instagram comic. Yeah, like a stage stage this is crazy please stop talking to me.

Don't know the words. Don't talk about me on stage. I won't. Also, don't give me nothing to talk about on stage. There it is, don't be weird, don't be goosey, don't be funny. It's mess, Sydney. What is what's your mess for the week?

I mean last week was was uh interesting because I did a podcast with Marie. We did Our Friends podcast Decisions Decisions, and I thought that I could get on a flight right after and that was that was my mess.

I don't know why I thought.

That I could book a podcast that was at noon and then make it to a two fifty four at JFK.

I don't know why I didn't.

I don't know that at the beginning, didn't you changed the flight from an earlier flight to a later flight.

It was seven am, and then I moved it to and then I moved it to two fifty four.

I mean, essentially I could have made it.

If we're going back and forth, I'm telling them, I'm like, oh, I got to get to the airport, which people there was a discussion in the group chat, but Amandy was like, oh no, you could take a car, and then.

We yeah, yeah, I would take a car.

I'm like, at at one pm in midtown, that's kind of crazy. That was what was first said. And then I'm not in a car. And then I got in a car, and then I was stuck in the car. And then I was like, oh, I can't take this car. I'm never gonna make it. And then I was like, take the train. Take the train because we're buying station. Yeah.

When I say take a train, I met the Long Island Railroad.

But I have never when somebody say long Iron roller, they say long Iron road, they don't see a train. I was like, train, you penstation, the train is there.

I thought the train instead of Long Island Road.

So I'm on the E and when I tell you every I think they added stopped.

On other line that had nothing to do.

And I'm sitting there and I'm sweating and I see another girl with her suitcase. I was like, are you late too, She's like, oh no, my flight's not until five. I said, oh, I can't bet. And so when I was on the air train, I was literally like crying. I was like I need to I need to get to this spot, like this is very important.

I have a reservation I'm like trying to be thoughtful. I was like, this is that?

And then when I was running, When I was running, I said, hey, this is not your fight. You're not You're not an athletic thoroughly. You don't have the breath, you don't have the shoes.

I had on heels, like, oh my god. Run.

You ever see that one girl that's like dressed at the airport and you're like, oh, what's what's she going? I was at girl dressed in the airport, running for my life, rest and stress.

And then I looked at the time.

I said, the door has closed, needy leaks, the door has closed. And then and then one of those guys in a BPP you need a ride, sir, I'm crying. It's gone, it's done. Did you take the ride?

No, because it was it was over with. I missed. The flight is gone. What time did you get to the gate? Oh?

I didn't even make it to the gate, baby, How was I was halfway? My gate was so fucking far. I said, Oh, the devil said let's play. And so as soon as I got off the air train, I said, oh I have enough time. No, no, no, no, it was gonna take me at least ten fifteen minutes to get It was like B seventy two.

Yeah, and we were in we were in B thirty. Oh wow, thirty.

You have to yeah, yeah. I don't know why JFK. I don't know why JFK does that.

I feel like anytime I fly it tafle, it's always the last and you gotta go down some stairs and up some stairs. Then it's the last game at the terminal. Why what's why can I be B twelve will be four?

And you know the next mess is I booked another flight, right book I booked another flight. I didn't even go to the gate. I booked another flight. I said, well, let me just get because the next flight is then at Laguardy. I said, let me hurry up.

Do that.

Do you know if you miss your flight, they cancel your returning flight. They cancel it. Oh yeah, they cancel it. Hey, hey airlines, how does that?

Wow?

That's insane. I'm still gonna get there. But they're like, you should have called and like rebooked, but I was like, I don't have time. So then when I called, huffing, puffing, crying, you know, eyelashes falling off, they were like Oh, yeah, you didn't make the fight. I said, Kelly, Kelly, is it Kelly so I can report your ass?

Yeah? Sorry? Did you get your money back? No? Oh no, See that would have made me cry. Oh I was prying.

I was upset, I said, traveling, We're done, We're done.

Was it Delta? Yes, thank you? Oh Delta? That no scam?

Scam it hey, Sam?

Likely that was me for New Years. I missed my flight to Jamaica. I was stressed. Oh that's right, because you guys went to Jamaica, Yaman.

Yes, but ya, but I went to.

The gate and oh, yeah, I should have done that. I've learned my lesson. Yeah, it let them work. It don't work.

So you not making it to the gate. You didn't get to the gate, so you just turned around and went You booked another flight.

I was.

I was on on the fro Google flights and how how long was the wait for the next flight?

Oh?

I had about an hour and a half to get to LaGuardia. Yeah, you had time, and then but there was traffic. So I was in traffic for about thirty thirty minutes to get to LaGuardia.

And then I got they had to start again, all over again. I'm not I'm not wearing heels to the airport. That. Yeah, I'm going to look like a bum every time.

Like crocs, but like you know, all little sweat crocs like comfortable for when I used to get fluid out, I used to wear heels. Okay, when you get fluid out, you gotta wear heels cause you can't come to the airport.

Look, you just bring the heels in the carry on. You have to wear them at the airport.

Now.

I used to wait them to like to the airport. Damn. You know what.

I was always like the plus one of somebody's flute out. Yeah I'm wearing I'm wearing the sneakers. Do you think a fluid out with a friend, Yes, yeah, I'm the friend to make sure that no, no fucking is happening. I'm here to cock block.

Yes, okay, see I ain't never invited no friends. You got what you know, it ain't no fun if the homies can't have that. Well, Sydney, you cock blocking. Nobody was right.

Well no, the man or not having but my friends friends were happy. Yeah, I'm getting I'm stepping off the flight we got nineteen forty two I'm.

Taking the shot. I'm dropping it low. I mean, yeah it was a.

Win, yes, But also he was like, when you're getting flood out, you have like two days worth of clothes or sometimes not even no carry on because you know you're gonna take your shopping. So it's like just here thinking at me shopping. I need to carry on to bring the clothes back, we wind a suit case.

G on.

Oh this is my thing about the buying suitcase on the trip. I have too much luggage in my house.

Okay, see yeah I don't need not one more away, take it away, take.

The away away I needed. I needed to carry one stime. I haven't getting flood out since I've turned thirty.

That was expiration date. Well no, this is all my age getting flowed out. But I'm just like I'm tired. Ooh you now you you can't.

You're coming on the pod for a mess with jobs, but due doubt might be yours. Maybe I was old eva, I was shaking either chicken, what title is chicken?

I loved the fight I used to get the five getting fluid. I was fight flights and flewt out.

That's a good time. My twenties, my twenties is a good time. Yeah, but but you're delivered now not.

Well, I mean delivered like I'm still doing nassage to one person.

Well. I was always like that.

I was always like my whole face was always like one guy at a time, but like as soon as he was going a.

New guy, like you know, two weeks later, like you know what I'm saying.

So it was I was never like doing all three somes or like having fucking maddenings at the time, like never like never nothing like that, No trains, no noans ever.

Nah, I never had no three some.

That's interesting, have you chicken head if you've never had That's what I'm saying.

I feel like you're giving yourself this title. And it's like, to me, like a burbage like arguing.

It is like, you know, like doing dumb she like popping up at his job to fight him because he like that, I I guess behaved.

You're like bird bag like bird yeah, like I'm bird yeah, like I'm a parkee.

One time I pull up to a guy he was at dinner with his No, it was brunch, Father's Day brunch in the restaurant Father's Day brunch.

A man in front of the dad.

I don't know if you're a bird bage, but it gives baddie. You should be on Baddie's East West. No, but still behaving up to this day, girl, so please walk through this. Yeah, you get to the brunch for what.

I still gotta scar my knuckle too from that. Why why did you show up at the brunch to fight him? I don't know if you can see this right here. I don't know if you can right there? Did you win? Sydney said, that's why he came me back. He's not gonna hit you in front of his girl A girl, No, he isn't. He's not that. He's like a whore, but not a woman beat a horror, but a nice guy. Morals morals, horror, horror.

No, because he had a girl called my phone, girl called my phone, and my thing is like I don't like when it comes to like, I don't fight the girl. Like that's to me is like dumb bitch like you. Yeah, I never fought no girl. I've had girls try to fight me. I'm like, sorry, I'm not fighting you over him.

Can we make that a rule here on mess we support all types of messiness. But yeah, fighting a woman over a man, it's not even mess anymore.

The math never masked for me unless I was like my best friend or like my sis, like somebody who I fuck with. You know that'e my man, y'all was doing some affair behind my back, like like I'm gonna beat you on the front, like he was my girl, like my sist.

You know what I'm saying, like something like that. But we do not condone fighting.

Not if you're gonna fight, fight your best friend because she fucking your man.

Yeah, like that, I.

Would fight a girl over because it's like I'm fighting you because you betrayed me, bitch like, but like for a girl who is fucking like, come on, you want to He's a problem because if I ever play, if I fight, you want have to fight the next girl, the next girl. It's never ending because he's the problem.

The man.

He's a one who said that he loved me. He's the one who you know what I'm saying, I'm fighting him.

Okay.

So she got through on my phone on Father's Day or this is Furday weekend, okay, and I was just like, okay, kind of I'm like not Father's Day, No, not.

Him on Father's Day. Oh okay, so this you took the whole week a the whole weekend to really digest. Really, she caught your phone. You got talked to the girl. Yeah, yeah, we kissed me off.

His screenshots She was showing me screenshots of me and his conversation. Oh she was like, oh yeah, he said you was crazy. It was showing me screenshots of us arguing. But he never he was like the leat shit that he said. So it's just me going off like yeah, niggas took my thing, and he's.

Just like he was.

He looked like you know the Sunday school teachert in the conversation right, And I'm just a wild bitch, just wildin I'm like, when did this happen?

We're here?

Was this? This is my twenties. This is like when I went off for him, I stopped fighting, Like twenty twenty three was like when I started fighting.

I've I've been waiting. Hold on twenty twenty three is.

Well, when I was twenty three, I was like, twenty three was like so recent.

Yeah, I was twenty three. I started I've been chilling since then, so that since that time. Now I'm thirty three, so like ten years ago, it's a minute, but okay, throw back Thursday. Yes, so you get the text, you see the screenshots, you speak to him.

Yes, I'm like, oh, what you doing.

He's like, all I wants to come back to I'm gonna go come back to Jerseys to my father.

I'm like, all right, where I lived in Jersey.

Yeah, but he was like he had went away and then he was coming back to Jersey to take his father out on that Sunday.

Okay, okay, I'm like, when you.

Cooking, okays, my son were all going, oh, that's a nice restaurant.

Yeah, but that's not Oh you're gonna like that. Oh that's nice, that's nice. If he didn't realize what was about to happen.

Just hearing you speak, I'm like, oh, she's going to Michigan because like.

What time is the reservation? Yeah. I'm like, she didn't tell him that we was talking. I don't know, I don't know. She ain't tell him aout what.

But she was also like, oh, if you if you're trying to see hm, I'm like, surey, I don't want to see nothing about you. Yeah, I've seen enough. I've seen his screenshots. That's what that's all I need to see. I need to see you.

I've seen it.

Yeah, so that was and that sent me off. But but yeah, that was the last time. And then you know, and I told you in Jamaica, I showed you a couple of bitches in Jamaica, but I was it.

There's there's coordinates in Jamaica, my hometown, whole park.

I was over, you know, like this tour is crazy. Wait are you from Jamaica? Yes, girl? The story she make it was like in a way Jamaican.

So my mother took me out there and I was just a few months old. And then I came back like when I was four, to the New States. But I was always back and forth, always back and forth. I have to do a citizenship, have a Jamaican license.

Let's go. You gonna need Jamaican bank account. You don't need that. What's going on here right now? So we can go to Yeah, life is rock. I can come with you. Yes, okay, girl, time, fantastic time. We had a time. But that's always tell people.

You go to someone's country, go with someone, that's how you really get to Yeah. Well that's the best way I think to travel is to either go with somebody who's from there or you hang out with people who live there.

Yeah.

When you get there, you meet people who are that you feel like you trust, and you can leave the resort because because I mean, I been to Jamaica three times, and she told me she I felt like, this was my first time in Jamaica and she went to this was her fourth time. But she can't go by the trip advisor. No, you can't go about where the white people tell you to go.

I took them to the hood Nigga Beach and they loved it.

Oh yeah, they were telling us because we were at a all inclusive they were like, don't actually don't leave, Uh the premises.

What were you in?

Oh my Tigo Bay? Oh using Mantico Bay. Oh okay, see I don't. I don't know my bed.

I don't. I don't like that city. Really, wait, please explain to me. It's like this.

It's overly expensive. It's really americanized. It's just like it was. I mean, I didn't put my card out, but.

Yea, yeah it was.

Yeah, I said, charge, you have a lot of rich niggas over there. So but I like to go to Kingston. I like the rich niggas and Kingston. Kingston was a nice Kingston was a vibe. We had a good time against Kings.

But Eva, you know all your fighting mess and your father's day mess.

But did you finish the story? So yeah, you get to the brunch, you say, I'm with the Richardson party, and then you see him in his good navy blue easter suit and you go up to the.

Ta him and I smacked him up and then he took me outside, and then that's when I punched him in his jaw, and that's why I got the scar rat. And and then then the manager, the father was like, what the hell?

What the hell the manager was?

I was calling I'm calling the police, and I left and I went to my homegirl house and she cleaned my hands.

So you didn't order any food though, because.

It's like, after you you know, work up a sweat, you know, fighting and whatnot, you're gonna need.

You know, some eggs, some eggs.

I could have gotten some. I should have gotten some food. That was mess, junior. But what's the professional mess?

Now? What do you First of all, I was late to this ship.

I was gonna late to this shay because of work working foster care and I had an emergency with a nine month old baby boy.

But what what is the question that you're answering today? Blank?

Is mess what's mess working? Working while you're changing a dream working period?

Is?

Working is messy?

But like when you're trying to juggle like a career, like this is my job like a job, and then a career.

Is a lot.

What's the difference is for me, my job is just paying my bills on to my career takes off. So like I'm I'm working for the care but I'm not. It's not my passion. I care about it, you know. I do like my job, make sure it's done correctly so the children have some type of chance.

But five o'clock, five o'clock, I don't give a fucking more. You said fucking kids.

I I clocked out, and I don't want to hear about nobody kids. I don't care for these jokes. But after this point, but you know.

The and I understand you there, But that's what I feel like the overall energy everywhere I go, where people are working, they don't care or they're just there to collect, and it's like, baby, we need somebody who gives the damn damn.

But it's like I don't, I don't care to the pointere I'm going to do overtime like they have over time, saying no versus comedy.

I kept on comedy twenty four to seven.

Yeah, I might work writing Joe's I wrote a joke today that was I need to work out, Like, oh, if AI was to take over foster care, how would that look?

Where'd you Where'd you land on that?

That?

Yeah, just like the I'm like robot for some one that I'm like, I don't know what if I'm just like brainstorming some ideas. I'm gonna have to smoke a spliff and really get into that. But yeah, I love the creative for us. But yeah, but like I'll work, I'll work on comedy during foster care hours, but I'm not doing foster care hours ship during commedy. I'm not you know what I'm saying, So like, yeah, that's a difference. And also, you have like a job, job, job, you have.

To show up.

Like clearly in any field you can kind of half asked, but there's certain jobs that you can't do that, Like can you half asked as a pilot.

No pilot.

Police officers, even though they didn't do it, they have they had all the time.

They really shouldn't. It's in the it's in the you have the right to remain silent. I'm about to go on break anything you say can it will be used against you. Were about to get some donuts, like yeah, they yes.

I mean the woman who was set on fire, the police was already in the Really, yes they were, they were walking by, they were walking they knew.

They didn't a video. I didn't need to watch. I didn't.

There certain things that I can't see. I just can't see that one.

I mean, I think as a surgeon, you shouldn't half asked. But I don't know. I've seen enough, like doctors.

It's not enough bbls that they was half as that ass.

Yeah, but somebody they have as they have half that ass. Honey.

Well you know, sometimes only people had enough money for half the ass.

Some people TV's full price. So add DBLs in like a motel holiday. Hey baby, your body is not a T shirt. It shouldn't be on sale, Like you gotta pay for a price.

You have to research. I noticed because I got.

Like I got a hook up with my boobs and like they're you know, they're they're they're cool.

But like I couldn't like they fine.

You know, there's nothing to be like I'm raving about, but like at the time, they did what they needed to do because I was waitressing. But yeah, I didn't pay all the way. I mean I paid yeah no, no, no, no, don't do that. I did not klarna my dicks. I you know, I paid you know, a little bit of payment there, and then I had to back back, come back, drop some more off and then uh, and then I

And they did.

So rank your boobs the first time you got them done from one to ten.

I'm seven, Okay, yeah, Sven is good.

No, Well, because the thing is, it's like you spend all this money, but then like I'm still doing the ship that I was doing when I had like double a titties.

Like no, no, no, if we don't.

Do it like it needs to, it needs to be kind of life changing changing. I need life changing. Tatas just a.

Bit was a cop, and then she got pregnant twice and them titties came them cities a titty and now really, yeah.

Hey that's a lot. I'm not yeah kid, Yeah she breastfeed, Yeah, both of them. Yeah, not worth it. It's for kids.

Not worth it.

Yeah. So and then rank them after you got them done. The second I'm gonna say eight and a half. Okay, hal nine.

But the thing is, it's just like with plastic surgery, you're never gonna be satisfied. You're gonna be having them a little bit, and then you're gonna really start picking, and then you're gonna.

Be like, but wait, it's not symmetrical.

And then you look in and you're like, well, did he have something good to work with? Because sometimes it's just a mirror of what your what your chest was already given.

So if it was lopsided, he not really.

If your nipples is weird, you had weird nipples to be so now you're mad you just got larger, weirder nipples.

Yeah, but when when you get your boobs done, do they take the nipples off?

No, they some they do a little incision, and so it looked like a little door, like it's black and then it's eleven, and then they push it in because it's you know.

So my mother for cancer patients, they had to take my mother had to get her nipples removed because cancer bring it down.

I'm not talking about friend, we are talking about talking about We talked about fluid out and there you bringing around.

Yeah, that's there. That was Ye.

You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. No, but I went until after my kids to get my tites done. I don't want to get them done and then they suck them dry. I gotta get them done again.

Why not do the king? My kid's gonna be greedy?

How you you greedy? The milk will have curry.

I'm guess, I'm I'm I love to eat.

Oh, I know the kids gonna be greedy. People have some dense babies, some heavy baby.

But I already know what I know.

The listeners are like, what what's it working with right now? I mean like, hey, not that kind of pop.

But also also I got all.

Of my T shirts. I mean not girl was rushing when I was coming here was rushing.

Wait, so even how long have you been working? Like how many? How long have like the no no in general.

Yeah.

I got my first job Dunkle Donut when I was fourteen fourteen, Yes, I don't even know that year old working papers with six.

No is it six? Yeah? Well in New York state? Yeah, maybe it was sixteen nine. Now I had a job. I had a job at fourteen.

All my stepfather he had a paving company, a driveway company, and I used to do like little clerical like his appointment book and like, oh, you have a two o'clock estimate.

That's what I was doing at fourteen.

And then sixteen I went to Duncans Donuts that was short lived, and I went to the Walgreens. Wow, okay, so Duncans to Walgreens to then what and after Walgreens?

Girl has so many jobs because I went to the Walgreens and Hollis Queens. That was a nightmare. Damn sis any like Walgreens tea like girl.

First of all, the al right, so this is the hollst in Hollist, I mean the Walgreens of Hollist And the manager at the time was like really into me and I was not into him, and he like at sixteen yes, mm hmm, nasty, nasty Walgreens.

You stand beside that, I'm springs in the photo section. Well, this episode is sponsored by Walgreens right now.

Because wing wasn't sixteen because walkmans, I have no it was dunkin Donuts, So maybe I was like seventeen eighteen at that time.

I see you chang.

Oh, I'm kind of thing because girl, I don't remember the timelines really fourteen first it was my stepfather's you own some Walgreens stock?

Yeah, you shifteen, Sydney.

What was your first job because let me see sixteen, when is the working papers?

Girls?

People remember the whole their whole life, like back to back, like I have to really like, look, the first job I ever had, I worked as a camp counselor at the y m c. A. Oh that's the job the summertime with the three and four year olds.

I almost drowned at that job. Oh my God, slapped at me the whole time. We're so glad you're here with us. That's crazy. Yeah, my next camp counselor job, y'all remember like every age, like, what the hell was going on? I'm like, I don't.

I could like ballpark, I know that's first, and then I don't you know get My first job was babysitting. Okay, I babysat my neighbor's son, and my neighbor worked for Rock Nation and so ye.

House free styling. I would see Dame Dash.

I was you know, I saw a meal a couple of times, and uh, you know, because allegedly they were they were dating, but he was mad cool because he would like leave the cash. He's like, I'm gonna order Papa John's for you. You were you were watching Dame Dash's kids.

No no, no, no, no no.

The guy my neighbor worked for Rock Rockefeller and uh was friends with Dame Dash.

So I would work for I would like watch him and it.

Was so easy because you know we after we eat Papa John, he ready to go to sleep, and I'm like, and you know, I'm sleepy too, so I was like, can I go to sleep? So I don't know if I was really watched. I think I got paid to just make sure he was breathing.

Yeah. And then the next.

Job I worked at like some after school.

Stunt where it was for like kids in the neighborhood.

Yeah, so like like head Start something like that, something like that.

Boys and girls something like that.

But you know the thing about working at a young age, I think you learn discipline, but then you get tired quickly because you're like, I've been working for ever, so sixteen years old dealing with you know, people be like you gotta be on time, you gotta care blah blah.

Why am I not rich yet? Yes?

Starting at and why every time they talk about social security going away, I'll be like, whoa, I've been putting in since this forever son, so I don't know.

At least run me my coins. That's it. I'll take it all at one time.

But yeah, so I was definitely like seventeen or eighteen around the time you still think about this age. I'm trying to get the timeline right. I'ments like my life is like a blur. You need to be learning some like it's just like.

What was the what was the like pivotal job that you were like, this is too messy, I have to get out. When I worked at you know those homes for like adult like adults with this like we don't know those homes? No, No, it was the epilepsy foundation of Long Island.

Girl. What I'm trying to figure out what.

I had jobs foster care, homeless shelter, Like, why do you work in these serious jobs because you have to be unseerious and I'm very unserious, but I usually know somebody who worked there. Oh okay, okay, So like my cousin worked at the Flepsy Foundation of Long Island. I'm like, oh, give me a job. You get me a job, take anything. Epilepsy Foundation. You guys can't turn the lights.

On or off.

Yeah, so it's like, oh the whole we're not laughing at it now, we're not. It's just you laughing with you friends. I'm confused, like what hu.

So it's not like these families they can't like they need twenty four hour care for their kids and they can't manage it. So it's like a home, because a nurse a home for like the adults who have it. So they're like grown ass people, but with the mind of like they're like severely laid. They have epilepsy, so they have seizures and stuff like that. I was at

You with the bodies.

When you were like the table with all the niggas and helmets.

So how you missing up? I used to have people show up that don't have epilepsy and they would eat red lobster with y'all. Yes, miss.

Biscus, that's very much worth it, worth it. But I mean, and what was you wearing? Because I just feel like that you don't go with job?

Did you tone it down?

Not really? I thought homo shelters, I turned down. We have to have a uniform if you were.

Fashion over with the cutouts with the last day came in and Gucci.

I still Caucci. You have to like you're poor yesterday, I'm but you gota come to You've been.

Working since she was fourteen. I should have Gucci by now. It's okay. We don't have to get what's the what's the worst thing about having a job? Can we talk about this? What's the worst?

The worst thing about having a job is that when I have ship going on and it's like I gotta work and vacation days. I hate vacation. It's like I don't want to have to like. How many vacation days I have left? Okay, I could use five them to go here if I don't want. I don't like that.

How many vacation days does a job have?

Well, my foster care job, we accumulate, so I have three, and I used one for Jamaica, so now I have two left. You have three vacation days for.

The whole sorry weeks? Oh? I use one one week. It's a whole year, just three weeks.

That's crazy. My whole year is occasion, you feel me. That's why I missed those days. You what about teachers? Teachers get the sellers off. I mean they don't get paid for some of them.

They don't get paid really for the year. Yeah, exactly, Were you a teacher? No? Hell?

Now?

Okay? How you saying hell? Everything? His son?

Oh, I used to be a babysit the tool care dot com. You know, I was word of mouth, but went up to care dot com.

Is mouth dot com?

Okay, wait now that sounds like time raising my mouth mouth dot com.

Did you ever have a father trying to whoa Okay, no, I wasn't that type of girly that like you. Yeah, No, I like I I'm cute now. But when I'm like coming up, do you, people were looking at me and they were like, oh yeah, like they like my I was called nice a lot, which is griggering right now because I'm like, I don't want to hear nice.

She's so nice, she's nice, sweet, she's nice.

They're walking all around like they don't want to look you directly in the eyes, like, yeah, she's nice.

Ice, Yeah, nicest. Nicest can be an insult. I don't want to hear it, especially say oh you're a nice guy.

No, no, no, you ever ask your friends to see a picture of somebody that they're talking to. Oh my god, I could describe them and they be like, well, I mean he's nice.

I don't want it because it's like, get some more descriptive word. Yeah, I think you can do it. Yeah, get the source if you need to.

He's right, he's sweet, he's friendly.

How would the guy I'm talking to now I would say, like he he feels like like a I don't want to say, well.

It's given poetry. What you about him.

I want to feel like like he feels safe, and I don't mean not in a bad word, but like because safe to me, like like no, I feel like I don't have to pretend with him, Like I feel like very confident around him, like a safe.

Space type ship. It feels like it feels like a nice, warm home type ship when you found home.

I feel like you feel that he feels this is a less exclusive right now. He feels a little homes in a situation that feels like home. Oh and you've worked in a homeless shelter before, you see how the stuf goes.

Yeah, man, it feels nice and cozy. Okay, I like this. Don't say nothing. His friends might repeat it.

Listen, she gave me a lot of on the forehead, and we appreciate that because he gave you four head kisses, like.

We're happy for you. I'm happy to girl. Okay, I'm sorry.

I was just gonna say I think that every job I've ever had, with the exception of like recent ones, now, every job I've ever had, I've been fired from girl well bartend and I was fired from a lot I was I.

Was fired from bartending to Zod because I tried.

Customer was like yelling at me and I tried to jump.

Across the bar to get him.

Well you should, because it's like, I'm not coming in. I have a show tonight.

Oh yeah, hat when you put you first, yeah, they're like, oh, well you need to cover your shift.

I can't do that.

But it came a blast minute, like I don't know what you want me to tell you.

Oh, Sydney. Remember when I had that job bartending in Crown Heights and I kept taking weekends off to do stuff. Was it Dean Street?

No, no, no, no, no, no, it was oh damn. I don't remember the name of the place now, but it was I got fired. Well, I got fired from that too because I left with all the money in the register.

Oh my god.

I back and I was like, oh my god, I made so much money today and they were like where is the money?

And I was like, oh snap, gotta come back. So I did get fired from that job by and now I live up the street from that, around the corner from that, and every time I passed it, I'm like, that's.

Why shut down D's favorite over here?

But uh no, it was that we went to the empty We went to the v A maze. I took off of that. I had a birthday party. I took off of that. And then the next time I showed up, there was another bartender behind the bar and I was like.

What's happening here?

Training today? And they said, no, you don't work here. That's how I breakup with it. I don't even tell them they we work on the shows, my husand.

What's happening here? Wait? Hold on, wait, there's no crossover.

You said, yeah, there's no. I'm not fucking with you no more. Okay, you just moved on.

But I think that's mess about jobs that they'll make you train somebody that's take their place.

It's it's so manipulated. But I like that, Yeah I should, like I should, we should train them, okay, but but I do feel like it's like.

I know I'm about to get fired, and now you got me training this girl.

You know I'm gonna train her bad, right, Like I'm gonna.

Tell her, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, just skim a little bit off the hope.

You don't need you don't need to just rinse the glass. The liquor will kill the Germans.

Tell the customers this is not really grey grooves. Just let them know, just be honest. They like that when you're transparent. But that would that would happen. That would happen a lot, like working at bars. They'll just make sure you'll see somebody who you're like that person kind of looked like me.

If I was white, what's up? Like, what's going on? She got mad? She's wearing the same Steve Man's shoes. I don't trust it.

And they'll be like, no, no, no, Like if I was white, white, white Sydney, Washington, I know you, I see you out there.

I don't know what white Marie would look like.

White even sounds crazy, hight even sounds weaver sounds we sounds wild.

Weav sounds wild.

Yeah, I'd Russian even making Russian ev Russian weaver. It sounds is a terrorist is as terrorized communities? I'm screaming from.

Was there any job that like you had, Like it's like some good times you have with coworkers and then bad times you have with coworker, because I feel like that's mess like meshing, like becoming friends with coworker like real friends.

So in my first job out of.

College, I was at showtime for three years I mean some good friends the chat. Yeah, I was advertising coordinator for three years out of college.

That was that.

I made some good friends that yeah, I was invited today weddings and shit like that.

Oh and I was good. Now, when you go to a coworker's wedding, are we getting drunk? Yeah? Yeah, well yeah, we definitely of the class.

Now with the boss is there, it depends like are there supervisors and stuff there or is it just our level.

If it's just our level'm getting lit. It's your level. And then one above I'm uncomfortable with to one above seeing me like that.

No but wait, no, no, no, see this is where that line is because if we're at a wedding, this don't have none to do with the job.

It's just people who I work with.

Just so if I happened to get lit, bust my ass and act the fool.

This was not on grounds with the job. But if we're at if we had a holiday party that I have one.

Two max max, okay, three three three three three is the old z. I'm gonna start feeling lusty if I hear that asked.

Wait, what you drinking at a holiday party? Tequila? No, you don't want your job.

You want to drink white wine? You keep it, you weave you you have to have a son there and sit down.

No, I need it. I mean yeah, I would drink it's like a margarita or something. But yeah, or whatever, the like holiday cocktail is at the bar. I'll do that.

The coworker, that's like, let's take shots. They actually want something crazy to happen.

That's them. They are.

Once they hand you that dark liquor. They don't really they don't really like penny of that. I don't do any I don't think you should be drinking shots at a work function.

Yeah, it's a little crazy. I have to do it. They do it. You can a carcail. You said it. You hear that on mess.

I see you doing shots at the bar with your supervisor. Now, you must not want your job that bad. At the bar with your boss.

You Oh, no, other than the sounds kind of lit.

Yeah, okay, but if your boss is making you drink, you take the shot, spill it out, don't drink your shoulder. You put it, you put it, you put it in another cup, you pass it to someone, don't do it.

Take a sip. You asked one ice c We put it in a big cup. I remember.

I remember we had like a we would do like monthly or like every quarter, like a like meeting with everybody at the job, and then we go to a bar and we'll have drinks. I got so messed up with my manager. I mean we we was doing pickleback shot.

Imagine it was definitely white.

Yeah, so asked or whatever, but we we.

White.

Mother right, we can get hold up at the James Hotel and me and him we stumble out or whatever, and people knew that we was like back, we stumble out. We go to McDonald's, order like sixty dollars work McDonalds.

Sydney, Please tell us what is sixty dollars With.

McDonald We get in quarter pounders with cheese, We getting nuggets. We're gonna we get in oh, you know, I filet fish. I'm always gonna do it. What you order fish, filet, I'm getting that.

But how do we hit the sixty dollars fries?

All of that? My time square McDonald's cause I feel like they know this.

Was in This was on Canal Street. This is on Conow Street and McDonald's is still there. This is where it got messy. When it was time to close out, like in pay, I'm like.

You the man, absolutely, he said, but we we we.

This is we're not at work. So what does that mean that she left that work? He left the penis.

Understand that we're not at work. You left the venis at the Yeah.

I don't like.

I don't understand men who like because even my gay friends, like gay male friends, I never reached my wallet with them and they're not trying to fuck me. So I don't understand a man who is like if a straight man just like we were splitting, like are you kidding me?

But also like what are we talking about? Are we splitting? It sounds like he didn't want to pay at all.

Word he was looking around like because we were drunk and I was so he wanted to be on you.

He's I was like, wait no, no, we both walked to the right. Boss. Yeah, this is a white pickleback boss. I think I think what it was this is he's like, I know you.

Not you not bringing in everything? You taking some stuff off the top, like use that money for good. Yeah, if all of our McDonald if you're not paying for anything, that means he trained somebody to also not pay for everything, like okay, so that means he's not raising right his extra coin? Right. You guys were asked so many good questions. I wish I were there when it was happening, so I definitely swiped my car. I would have stopped, or I would have been like, let's just pay for our

Often. Yeah. Ended, And will.

Do you ever like, uh like have issues with Have you ever had an issue with a coworker outside of work and then brought it to work.

That's a good question. Well, my foster care job, it was a girl who was working with me. I just didn't I didn't think this was going to go to this job. Yeah, okay, it was one girl. She was on the Queen's side, but she was always in Brooklyn's business. Yeah, like this is not like this is my side of Atlantic Avenue, my side of London.

Minds your business? Yeah, Like she would just pop up in zoom meetings that I'm like, how did you get the link? Like weird old the hand.

We're on the same level, Like you're not a supervisor to come watch me? Like what are you doing? So in real life I really didn't want to smack the ship out of it. I'm like, you know what, but real life problem?

What job? Sorry?

Why are you trying to think of this? What job were you working during the pandemic? Because I know there was some.

Zoom ship shipped what shipped the food delivery for Target? Oh? Oh shipped? Yeah, I don't know. I'm saying it, but I don't know what it is. Yeah, no, no idea. I didn't even know what delivery for target.

Yeah, girl, I shu was bumping during the pandemic. No one wanted to leave the house.

Well, yeah, so you were, so you were stacking con I was stacking corn. I bought a nice little a Nissan.

You bought a car with shipped it shipped still available, Yeah, it's not in the same as a man's if people go to themselves. Now for sure people still do it, But I was. I bought a nice little in the car for nine grand.

You made from much money?

Yeah, because it was at the peak when no one was leaving their house. Everyone's scared. I'm like, I'll get your eggs.

What up? Like, well, let's bring it back.

Let's like close your eyes and envision, you know, lockdown. They were letting people in a few customers at a time.

To wait online outside or six feet away from somebody. Remember that, And that's when I was making Queen. Yeah, I do miss a little.

When I used to drop off the grocery like to like and still more fing.

Like all it's crazy in there.

You used to get like germs all over this, all over the stay white people.

Did you have a mask on their gloves and stuff? Okay? All that? Yeah, I remember I used to get groceries and I I would wipe my stuff down with and now I just how the ship in the lick the milk before I put it in.

It's good that you were showing up as like, because when women do things, you just feel like they don't They're they're.

Getting the right items, they're they're reading.

It's like anytime there's a guy getting like insta cart, I'm like, we have to cancel, cancel this. Yeah, Oh, Edward is looking for No, he's not, He's not looking for he's never looking bro.

They'd be like, he's never grabbing. They'd be like, you asked for lettuce, I didn't find any lettuce. You didn't find you no lettuce here, No, no, there's no I.

Gave you Parsley instead. The substitute is wild. This is really wild. And I always I used to call before I picked them the substitute. You call ola instead.

I never don't call it. And it is I read them.

I read like the Reddit or the Twitter threads of people complaining because anytime they get a male instacart person, the women be upset, upset because it be like I asked for Maxi pads, he bought me Pampers.

Yeah yeah, and then he and then people in the comments like, well he was he that far off?

Okay, yeah, yeah yeah he was. He's not Huggies.

I cannot fee the Huggies. I haven't been able to fee Huggs like you want all the baby.

I was a fat baby.

Oh you had a big bud as a baby. No, I was just a chunky little monkeys monkey, I was. I was a hefty baby too, actually, pad, yes, but I was born like nine pounds or something like that, like oh wow, I was my mother, my mother's biggest baby.

Were you the last one? I was? I'm the middle. Oh, girl, you would have scarred me.

I don't know how your last something got here because I would have been done after you.

Girl, Look at me. I still weigh on pads. Yeah, I'm to push out though I'm trying to remember. I was like, I don't think I'm trying to remember. No, I can't remember what job I had A fourteen? How much you weighed? You know?

What happened was I was my mom went into labor early, early, and I was sick. When I came out, they had to give me like they had to do a surgery because I was eating the placenta.

No, that's what I should have known. I was a lesbian.

Then okay, my mother out, yes, and the womb I loved it, like, oh god, no that was bad. But yeah, and so then they had to do a crazy surgery, shave all my hair off. They had like I don't know what babies head. Oh I came out with some yeah, right, probably than I have now. Theake off so funny. And then uh, and then my sister would make crazy jokes. She was like if a lizard and Gress Jones had a baby.

That's what you looked like. It was bad if a lizard and Grace is baby wol Okay, so dark skin, scary baby. Yeah, that's so crazy. Can you believe it? Do you see it? Pounds and some change? Okay, every time you will, okay, old zimpics google funny. Yeah. I feel like maybe that's the hardest job, being.

A mother, Like, oh my god, never not be be a mom.

You can't be like I'm going to the store to get cigarettes and not come.

Yeah.

I mean, well some of them. That's why have a job. Now, some of them do. That's why I was busy today.

Yeah, I think that, like what and the thing is is that mothers they can't get any like they can't like clock out or like taxes for just motherhood. Like and what they're literally doing is they're taking care of a human being twenty four seven And even when they when the kids leave the home, you're still thinking and carrying, oh my mother and making sure they're all right twenty times the day.

To check up on me. Yeah, you're close with your mom like that. My girl, that's Sydney. I mean she's dead, but.

You had a good relationship before that or oh no, so she was like my father, my father, Ye, he's doing and it did not phase me at all.

You said, may he rest in peace. I didn't even say that. You were like, I don't know if I really want that piece they call your father. I'm like, oh, that's crazy. That's wow. You know someone's not paying attention when they say that's crazy anyway in New York.

That's that's old. Asked wow, I'm not listening. To stop listening already. Wait, so you said being a mom is the hardest job. Do you want kids? No, girl, I want to push out to you.

You want to push them out. So no drugs, no cut, I'm gonna I'm gonna have some drugs. Okay, so push your but no sea section no, no, no, no no. We're not a see sexual family and we don't do that. We're not a sea section family. I don't heard that one.

How are you sea section family? Because vaginal birthby like that ship? Should that be like hereditary a lot?

Excuse me? What? Let me look at it? Is that? What is that what we're putting out here right there? Let me look at it. How you have a sea section baby? Then what's what happened? Baby? Also have especially, I feel like it's like ah likelihood, I mean not you google in this. I don't know. I don't know.

I'm not gonna I'm when when I say that, what if I do it in the bathtub?

Am I also?

Now? A bathtub? A water birth baby? It's hereditary. You gotta be in the water. You a water baby.

My mother had me wet, Okay, so it's not her mereditary, but says there's a forty five percent increased risk of having a Suceyrian section. Twenty five is not even really, that's not almost. Yeah, I e I may have I'm crazy, but.

Wait, what's wrong? What a little sea section? What's wrong with it? I don't know.

I just I feel like the well, I don't want to say natural because what it is natural?

Natural vaginal birth is just huh, I preferred. What's wrong with sea section?

Well, it's like a whole See, I'm trying to get the mess.

Major surgery first off, So any surgery is risky.

Yeah, but you can have vaginal birth and rip your coach open, then you're also and you're right, they sewed up. That's not surgery. So he said, they might the baby might rip you to the butt.

Yeah, yeah, but they well I've seen I've seen some of the stitch work on people's clothes.

I don't know if they're doing it right.

Also, like the stomach is harder to get down when it's a sea section.

It stays up. What do that mean, Oh, you mean like to get flat?

Yeah, likenat back is a little harder with the sea section versus.

Damn. I don't know if I was a C section or vaginal birth. Let me call my mom. Yeah, I'm gonna ask her. Were you natural out? Yeah? Yeah, you're a vaginal birth family over here.

Yeah.

I came out vaginally. Yeah, vaginally. But then, like I was really sick because of.

You know, the vagina, Yeah, and putting the placenta and the vagina. No wed you cut it cut it out, the cut it out.

You you could give it in.

But also, what do you think is the best job in the world. I love being a comic. I'm not gonna hold you.

I love this job. I love this ship that comes with a lot of bulls, espuchly as woman.

But it seems like you're very passionate about passion having Yeah, damn.

This is how I stud feel about comedy.

Said me, No, no, no, I feel like you the overall existence of it. You're you do feel that way. I don't think I'm obsessed with anything.

No now obsessed?

Yeah, girl, if I like, if I go a week when I get on stage, like I do, feel like increased anxiety. I need sure, I need the stage. I don't know, I just I need it, bro I need it.

People. I'm taking a month off. I'm like, well, who's saying that. I've heard people say that. What we heard people say that we have?

Yeah, I took a month or two off. I'm like, well, I would have during the pandemic. Never, no pandemic.

Last week I saw Jonas and I took a month off. I'm like, during the pandemic, I was like, I don't even think I do comedy no more.

No, in the pandemic, I was on the outside ships when he was doing those zoom comedy shows.

Let me tell you the mess that.

First of all, why am I momming in front of my cats and the plant? I don't like this. I'm gonna be at home. I'm turning my laptop now.

I don't live here anymore. I have to.

Actually move out because the chakras, the vibes is off, I can't off.

Yeah, yeah, nothing, I'm down to zoom ships. I was in the parks. I'm glad that you learned.

The Linda wood Dinah had the park. I was there parks with them.

Zoom Ship. I did one. I was like, yeah, I'm good on this.

I think I did like two and and the first. After the first one, I was like, oh, I'm not going to do stand up. Y'all gonna see me trying on some weeks because I was bald.

During the pandemic. Word, yeah, that's smart.

I think we did like somebody had reached out and we did like a zoom gig and it was just like good.

Money and we didn't do stand up. We were like had a conversation, we did a podcast.

Like we were telling jokes, but I guess, you know, were on serious So it was like we probably were supposed to do stand up, but we were.

We did sports work, We did Miss Volume one.

So you're obsessed with your obsessed with comedy and so this is not even a job for you.

This is just like you'll do it for free. I would do it for free. I don't do it for free. But I'm not doing it for free.

Yeah I will. Yeah, you're so good at it?

Why I think that's I think that's a mess. When people want you to show up and do things and not get paid for them. Why why if I'm if I'm good at it, you obviously want me, right, So why wouldn't you want to pay me? All?

I got this?

Okay, then you only got that comic over there because I'm not.

Well, if you're good, if I'm good enough for you to ask me, I'm also good enough for you to pay me. Absolutely.

Yeah, I'm not exactly, But I think that's that's with anything you think. If you're reaching out and you want to work with somebody, you got to have some kind of budget.

What is this like, you know, exposure. I never negotia.

My mother always tries like to, like, you know, haggle prices. I'm like, I don't do that.

You don't negotiate your rates?

Oh no, no, yeah, like yeah that that but it's like my mom my mom w was like like, oh how much to like, you know, shovel the snow and the like All of a sudden, fish like, oh, you do it for sixty's like, I don't.

My mother always has to My mom is queen of that. I don't do that, but.

Because I don't like you when people do it to me, even in Chipotle, I'm like, let me get some more chicken.

I'm like this, I'll for the double. I'm not like you. I'm not doing I'm not doing them. Let me get I don't do it.

I'm trying doing that the Caribbean way. Yeah, my mother will listen, Mama. I remember my mom was trying to buy a car. She's trying to get a new van, a brand new minivan. And she was like, like, my mom doesn't like she don't really believe in credit cards. So she showed up with a like an envelope full of cash, not even an envelope, it was like a printing paper folded in thirds load of money. And they were like, my mom was like, how much for that car?

And they were like, I mean we could take a little bit off and she and then she now she got to unroll it for them to see she got all in this cash on her And yeah, my mom will haggle for anything groceries and I might if it's four dollars, Mom, like how about tree fifty? Yeah, just done. It stresses me out.

My mom is cutting it in half and her way a little bit up. Yeah, so your mother starting a three shiitty is crazy. My mom is like two dollars.

I mean, people would do that at the club all the time. They're like yeah, yeah, people would be like bottle, yes, yes, because they're like because they already hit they men, like right, they already have like a two thousand, you know, men or whatever. And then they're like, yo, I got I got like four hundred dollars in cash. What if I give you that and you just get me like a bottle, Like you don't even have to be the expensive bottle.

Well, what can you get at the curb for four hundred dollars?

Not the boom, not even not even boom.

You can't even get boom boom for the club again. Yeah, something yeah broke.

But I mean the thing is is that it's like when you get people nice, you friendly, you chatting them up, You're like, we all cool. You know, they might have given you some cocaine. It's like, hey, get out of this, because I think that that's also mess. Is like when people are using their relationships to get what they want, you know, and like, hey, if I want more liquor, we cool And I got this cash and I'm sure you want it.

You don't have to paint it, nobody else you, you know, just just show. But is that mess? I believe the Whites call that networking?

Oh is that what it's called networking?

Networking? Networking is mess?

Ah, Yes, yes, I'm gonna say networking is mess It can't be because it's under the guise of like, oh, this is this.

Is how you do it, This is how you get to the next level.

When it's like, actually, I could just be doing what I was doing and I was gonna get that way anywhere.

I think you never can be messy because like people, who are you? You know what I'm saying, It's like, are you even worth me?

Speaking? Especially in La? Are you worth me? Acknowledging your existence? People in La?

I went to a party once when I was out there and everyone that you talked to head was on a swifolcause they're looking for.

Somebody more important than you. Yeah, and it's like I'm the most important person in here. They're like, who are you? Who are you again? Yeah? What do you do? What do you work?

Me?

Now, if I'm at a place and I'm like we have a genuine conversation, I don't I don't know. I don't be asking like what do you do?

Oh? They love it? What do you do? In La? What do you do?

Is actually quite hateful now in this climate because it's like we're all trying to figure out what we're doing right now and it will be and they'll ask you what do you what do you do? While you're there at doing what you do? It's like I'm just on stage killing.

What do you mean? What do I do? Or the the other question, what are you working on? Yeah?

That working on I'm working on myself, Yeah, hitting you right now that I'm working on living Okay, if you get in the living ram, you're getting me Instagram all of a sudd and they're like more friendly now to see that, Oh you all.

You kind of all your.

Yes, now now your friendly is like you was being cold this whole two minutes I was talking to you.

Girl. That's why you got to treat everybody the same.

Like that's even even like so you gotta be cold to everybody and even when you see the Instagram and all that.

Oh oh you got a million follow whatever. No, oh, that's what you do. Yeah, you know it's all you do. Okay, Yeah, you don't come outside at all, your influencer. Interesting, you missed you missed TikTok or not right TikTok. When I was talking about taking it on, I'm like, I don't care. Oh, I kind of wanted TikTok to stay gone.

Yeah, I mean I've learned so much on TikTok, but I also waste mad time.

I don't be on Yeah, I mean on Instagram. When I fall down a TikTok rabbit hole, you know, it's it's some stuff on there, it's everything, like people, More people use TikTok like to look stuff up than Google, whoa or like YouTube.

I didn't even know you cold look stuff up on tickso oh absolutely you put it in a search bar.

Yeah, you'd be like, what where should I eat in Japan, and then it's like, how do I get a stain out of my clip? Like people use TikTok for that. Why informative?

It is informative, but it also is like did she really just tell all her family secrets in ten parts?

Why?

Who? Did I marry? Who?

The And we need it and we need it and we love it and it's entertainment, but also TikTok is like taking me away from TV sometimes because it's like, oh, I can watch all these little clips instead of like have a sitting and then be like, hmm, that's not really doing it for me. Yeah, I needed this in like ninety seconds.

It's sucking up your attention span. It is. It is yeah for me.

Like I'll be watching a good movie and I'll scroll through Instagram'm like, oh, let me enjoy the movie.

This is a nice film. Let me pay attention. When you're watching a movie and you want to enjoy it, you scroll through Instagram. Lol.

Sometimes I'll catch myself going through Instagram like, let me put this down and pay attention.

This is a good ass movie. Oh.

I was at a comedy show the other day and this girl in the audience in the front row with strolling, scrolling through TikTok with the volume one, because that's happened to me. No, I don't stop, I've having to do that with.

The volume on full blast. Stop. I'm like you're I'm like, seriously, mine in the front, Yeah, in the front. Put your AirPod in like it's a bluetooth, and listen quietly. My thing is, why did you come out tonight? I just wanted to be with my friends.

Want to show people on Instagram you went to a comedy show you didn't really enjoy. You wasn't even there. Well, I feel like that's a lot of what social media is is people. You want people to see that you're out and you're doing stuff, but you are having a miserable time.

And that's what I appreciated about our time in Jamaica. We actually had fun. It wasn't just for the grand If I'm not actively posting in my stories, just know I'm happy having time. I'm posting the stories from the cab, from the uber on the way home.

I post from my bed in the morning, or you know, the other day we went out, I got eight a m. Yeah, I woke up at four thirty in the afternoon.

Yeah, and it was a good night. It was that's a great that was a really good that Saturday for me. Saturday Saturday was lit as fun for me. I think we got to go through some messages now DM.

Yeah that the.

US. Oh y'all yeah, yeah, die you have you have messing your DMS. Girl, you want to read some mess you want to, We'll take it absolutely.

Oh you saw one of the messy has somebody was talking about cities when I was laying on my back.

Oh yeah, we remember, you tell the people because the people didn't see it. So I took a picture of it. I was in Jamaica, Like you know, you laid down and then like like this, yeah, you know which I hate.

I hate laying down because then if your booths are not close together and they kind of look like, you know, yeah, like pancakes, like yeah, the city they go and then they look like you know, bowling balls on the underneath your uh well that maybe maybe just.

Me f y Yeah right, your booths look like bowling balls underneath like because it it's spread, it goes under hat titties is not like ridiculous, it's this he'll weight on this.

They still got some weight. No, but they look like they fit your body. Oh, thank you, yeah, thank you.

There's a there's some cities. I'm like, girl, bye, there's some cities out of here. Oh my god.

I was laying down and the person was like, oh, yes, cities shrank from the other from the other picture with something. I'm like yeah, because the other picture I was sitting. I was standing up, so the titties was standing up too.

Was this in your hidden messages?

No, girl, I had screenshot and posted that ship. This is somebody that actually you're cool with.

Yeah, I was cool with this person. You gotta block them old. Yeah, they're done. That's done. They're done done. Don't come into my d MS talking.

Oh right, the punch that got the I want to just correct myself. When I fought the guy in Father's Day that was I was twenty twenty one into twenty twenty two. Now comment Citty, I'm like, what is going on? Twenty one twenty two is when I fought him, so not twenty three, maybe twenty two, twenty two, twenty one, Eva, I love it. I'll be trying to get my shirt back because you know, when you got famous, people pull it up.

Oh you will stand twenty three. But at twenty three, you will fucking with anybody ever says that.

I'm like age it to me like a year or two off, fucking relaxed. But you know people they love digging up ship and I'm gonna be famous. Bits know they're gonna be there, gonna be digging up on.

Me, absolutely manifest like you when you was with related today. Let me stay six feet awa from this ingga home. That's running away from Home.

That is the title of run Away from So running away from Home. Okay, let me read this letter and then we'll discuss whether we think it's mess or not.

Right.

I can't even believe I'm sending this. That's the title Sydney and Marie. So happy to have the new pod back in my feed. For the last few years, I've been re listening to old episodes of the Unofficial Experts.

So I hope you still get that ad rev. Yeah. I think we do. I actually don't know, we don't. I'm like I have not received.

Oh wow, Okay, anyway, here's my most embarrassing mess story.

Please don't use my real name.

I'm looking at the letter. I don't see the name on here, so okay. At my first oh boom, this works out. At my first real office job out of college, I developed a crush on a really ugly but somewhat funny coworker.

Wow, really ugly. Yeah.

There were rumors that he was hooking up with another girl at the office, but he always denied it. Eventually, he and I started secretly hanging out, but I couldn't stop wondering if the rumors were true. The other girl and I ended up sharing a room for a work trip together, and when she went to shower, I looked through her text Oh wow, I couldn't find a single thing until I searched for his phone number. She had him saved as Britney and they were sexting all day every day.

Had man.

I kept this info to myself, and within a few weeks she had a new random boyfriend. In hindsight, she most likely was still sexting Brittany while she was dating the new guy. I kept going out with the old guy for a whole year until he ended up cheating on me.

Good. I couldn't.

I couldn't even feel that bad because I felt like I got my karma. I am five to nine and he was so short that when we would do it from behind, he would be on his tiptoes.

Love you both, well, he was ugly and short. Anna, cheater, girl, you're the problem. You're a man.

No matter what's wrong with them, they always have multiple bitches, sir, how is your ugly short ass fucking with bitches like that?

But but it's all on the women who are dating them.

They're giving them in their back and the height in their shoes to make them feel like they're yeh, the police.

Yeah, the women. These women are literally the wind beneath their wings. Yes, she said, I developed on a crush on someone. She said, really ugly, but somewhat funny. So it's not really funny, it's not hysterical, somewhat ugly, really funny, really ugly, somewhat funny. Girl, this is your fault. That's not good for you. Actually are the problem, okay, electric chair, Because the thing is it's so easy to be like he's a bomb. Did you see his underwear dirty? But

So she was twenty one, twenty Do you know what actually anything that happened between nineteen and twenty three, didn't.

Have between yesterday.

Between nineteen and yesterday, it's delete, it deletes. It's like if you do something in international waters. They don't same with this. Yep, that's crazy.

Chart Read another one? Or should I save it? What do you guys think? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, Okay. X keeps calling from an unknown number. Hasten him.

Longtime fan of the pod. My sister and I have been listening since twenty nineteen. Shout out to y'all, but we love you. This past August, I broke up with my ex, who I had been dating for a year. Throughout the course of our relationship, there were a bunch of issues.

Okay, let's talk about the issue. He was super close with his ex.

He kept explicit videos and pictures of his ex slash past took ups, and he would complain about having to pay two ninety to come visit me. After I finally ended things, everything was fine. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I was myself again. But around September, so they broke up in August.

Now he's back.

In September, he reached out in an attempt for closure. He sent me paragraphs telling me about how he felt, and even sent a Google doc where he had been writing all his thoughts since.

The breakup, not a Google doc.

Unfortunately, I answered his text and this opened a whole can of worms. From then on, he would try and reach out via text, trying to get closure.

Around November, I finally blocked him good.

Then around Christmas he sent me an email and then a message on WhatsApp girl, an.

Email, wait, is this a business proper? Why are you emailing? Yeah?

But it's like I blocked you everywhere, so now you emailing me bro? And then a message on WhatsApp. I didn't answer, and I blocked him on everything possible to get him to stop. Now he's been trying to reach me by calling from an unknown number and the secondary email address.

Call you got a stock you have to report him.

He even left the voicemail saying how I'm bullying him and that it's weird that I'm avoiding him. I've been thriving for the past six months without him, and I'm even interested in another guy. Right now, Ladies, how do I finally get this man to leave me alone? I saw a psychic a few weeks ago, and she said that i'd see him face to face again at some point, but he needs to be gone by yesterday. Hope to hear from y'all. Thanks for the laughs. Anonymous man of

Can't hear you unless another man is talking. Yeah, so they can hear the non basics.

Yes, Yeah, I need you to get a man to pretend to be your man and be like, hey, I need you to meet me here. I need you to meet me at this place and we need to talk because you keep bothering my girl scare him.

That's that's a really good yeah.

And then and then he's like, I need you to really meet up and then have him meet to and then just be there. Nobody ever meets up with him. He's just sitting in front of looking dumb as you deserved. Yes, been wasting your time.

Yeah, because I'm like, I don't know about the meeting face to face, I say, or but you got me in the end you said nobody shows up.

Okay, Hey I work herebez. Yeah, I have the ones.

That's talking on Instagram and they show to a show.

Is that a stalker or a fan? A fan like a fan? Yeah, I have fans, but fans can be dangerous. They can shout out to Selena. No, you never know, You just never You just never know. You never know.

And the terrible thing is that when somebody has your information, you might have to move.

Well, yeah, that's why I used to have a website and I put all my dates for the month on the website. And I had a stalker and I was like, well, I don't need people to know where I'm going to be before I'm going to be there.

Yeah, because that's scary. I don't have a bodyguard. I don't have a NDA, you know. Anyway, I had a good time with y'all today. This was me. I follow U I P Yeah, well let's wrap this up. Yeah, let the people know where they can.

Find you with following a Graham at Eva Evans Comedy e v A E v A n S Comedy and watch my special. I have a forty five minute special in my bio. Watched that sh run that shit up shared at and what else?

Run that ship up? Shared at? What else? I mean?

TikTok and Twitter. Well, I'm on there to the same handle at Eva Evans Comedy. But I'm very active on.

Instagram, so on Instagram. Yeah, in terms of we're gonna yeah, yeah, I love it. Okay, Well did we learn anything today? Friend, Sidney, did you gave great advice? Yeah?

I try to give I can't remember milestones in my life. I don't the ages. I'm like, was I twenty two or or solil? Sidney was giving that advice and I was like, get a gun.

Myself. Yeah, especially who's in office, get a gun. Don't need it. No, what was I gonna say? Oh, yeah, we have a show. We have a mess live at.

Union Hall February the twenty twenty seconds.

Damn Yeah. I ain't gonna be in La damn no. But they need you out there. Yes, please get tickets to that. That's the link. Should be in the bio by now. And keep giving us reviews. I love them. They're so good.

The reviews are so funny on Spotify and Apple, So keep doing that.

Yes, and also before we go on to say, Lee, send us the voicemail right, yeah, stories, it's the email is messthepodcast at gmail dot com or call in at seven six three two eight zero sixty five eight eight.

See you next week for a moment. Yeah, Welcome Back.

We Didn't Mess With Sydney Washington and Marie Foston is a production by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio podcast created and hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Foston.

Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Hans Sonny, super produced by Becca Ramos, edited a mixed by Brian Jeffries.

If you would like your messages read on air, please email us at mess Thepodcast at gmail dot com or call for your messages to be played at seven sixty three two eight zero six five eight eight