Depression Hive

Forever.

Okay, so up Top did not get much sleep last night. I was I was up till six am, six am, Like, so you are on four hours of sleep right now? Is what you're saying to the to the people I am, And let's just see how how successful this episode is. I'm excited for what's to come.

I'm also excited. Let me put my phone on do not Disturb so I can give you my full attention. M M, my full attention. Now, what were you doing babe until six am?

Well, it took me forever to finish a video for Patreon, and I get in my head about it. I'm really good. I feel like at Instagram stories, I feel like that's where my little boost goes. I think that's where I have, yeah, the most engagement because I'm not thinking about it. It's just like coming out of my mouth and I'm pressing posts. But with these videos, you know, they can be shared. People could think it's good or funny or whatever. You're

So?

Well, what are you talking about in the video because this one to be helpful. Oh the subject, I'm not I can't even tell you because I got to post it so that you can see. Oh, because because it is funny. It's very funny. But you're gonna be like god damn us. Okay, I usually say that when you speak, so okay, oh oh yes. And then the other thing is is that I was up listening to the episode of Sydney Is the New Orange because I was listening to jokes in it. Orange is the New Sydney.

Well, she's listening to the episode. She wasn't reading the title right. Why would she do that?

It was so good and soul there was it's nothing but jokes everything a girl. Because I'm a good interviewer, That's why it was nothing. But I mean, you're a good storyteller. But I feel like, oh no, no, no, I feel like, well no, because I feel like the way that you started to tell the story versus the way that I was asking you to tell the story is two different versions.

I agree, I totally agree. Yes, I mean yes, I mean, Sidney, you were a fabulous storyteller. But I do remember it because I do revisit that episode too, feel like that's like the episode that I have revisited the most. Okay, but I do recall like Sydney came in hot with like burying the lead I in my recollection, like no I did, yes, like all of a sudden, we're all the way here in memory, was like oh no, no, no, there's a lot.

Of take us through it, like yes, right, wearing who was there?

What? How did you feel?

Yes?

Yeah, yeah, honestly, Sydney to have three episodes of all time that was fantastic. Yeah, And now I'm like, fuck, it was so much stuff that I was like, damn, I was writing down everything that I was like, oh, that's the point, and this is the point. I was like, five minutes is not possible, but it is five minutes. I will have the five minutes together. But whatever, Yes, So that's what I was saying. But like, even how you just said that nobody knows what you're talking about.

Okay, so City's doing a five minute set and she's telling that story.

That's all you had to say, friend.

And that's why you're a great interviewer.

Because I'm because I listen the way that like somebody who's like like, because I know, I know what happens, I know what the story is. I know I knew everything that happened when she got arrested, but like the people who are listening, they've never heard the story before.

And I feel like you even with me, though, Sidney does that. She'll start a story like in the middle as if we already talked about it, and I'd be like, wait what.

Okay, so I'm not a great storyteller. So actually I'm.

No you are.

Oh no, no, let's know. Let's no, no, I'm not a great storyteller. And Maria is a great interviewer, and I'm appreciative because it it makes us get better as people eventually.

Sidney, you're a good interviewer too. Well, you're a good host.

Okay, all right, you're great host. All right, Marie, let's how are you doing. Let's get to use this well. I want to go back to what you said about the Patreon videos being very stressful, because when I do them, I'm like, well, this could go viral, and it's like I have to look, I have to be happy with what I look like, and I have to be happy with, you know, like how many jokes are in it or how funny I think it is, because I don't want I don't know, potentially one hundred thousand people to see

I was gonna say that I feels that the story talking about the bacon, egg and cheese was a great marketing tool because when you were talking about like, oh my god, I just shot this video and there's bacon, egg and cheese on my lips, and I was like, Okay, I want to watch this video, not just because you're funny, but also I want to see the bacon, egg and cheese, you know, just playing us a little bit.

You know, my video there was like it was like and when I uploaded it I was like, oh, you can't even really okay. Yeah, so now you know, if there are ever crumbs on your face, just upload the video on Instagram and you know the system will make the video not that clear. So God is good. But I'm doing okay, Sidney. I I don't know if you guys can hear.

Well.

They're not drilling right now, but they're doing work in front of my building. They're like laying down brick and giving me a little stoop. So you know, I'm gonna have like a step coming up to the building. So I'm very excited about that. Someplace, another place to smoke weed. So the excited Andrew, what are you drinking at ice coffee?

I'm drinking ice coffee, my second one.

Lovely wow two coffees and eating earlier.

A sausage and cheese.

Love that.

So I was on set on Tuesday and they were like, we were like, let's go get more food to leave because I like to leave with food when I work on stuff. And they had like extra sandwiches and they were like, oh, this is left over from breakfast if you guys want it. And I was like, what's that? And they were like bacon, egg and cheese, sausage and cheese, and I was like, oh, I don't want that. That's nasty. And then I was like I could throw that in the oven tomorrow.

So that's what that's what I've been eating for the last two days. That's crazy. They didn't have any of that yesterday. They didn't have no sausage and cheese, bacon. Did they give you lunch? They had? They had bagels. They had bacoels with cream cheese or like butter, and I thought that I was getting cream cheese and it was nothing but butter. They mic waved it and then when I opened it was just buttered ripping all over the place.

I was like, fuck, I can't believe it's better.

Yeah.

Wait, they microwaved the bagel. Is that something that you could do with bagels?

Honey? That's that's what they was doing on over there. And I said, okay, well, I guess it's better than nothing.

I was gonna wake up this morning, I had like a I was like, I'm gonna write in my morning pages.

Then I'm gonna take a walk to the ATM. Then I'm gonna get a bagel with locks. I'm gonna go to Duanne read and buy some lotion.

And then Andrews sent a text and was like, we have the episode, were recording this morning, and I was like, whoa, there goes my day. I think the way that you start your day is like very important for how the rest of your day goes.

I felt so bad sending that text because I knew that you definitely didn't remember, and no, I.

Knew we were recording today. I just thought it was at like I don't know, ten pm or something.

Not doing that, Bag says sweets like, who would ten pm?

I'm not doing that.

Well, we me and Sidney could have done ten pm.

Uh huh send me the file.

Yeah, we would send me the file. Maybe I will not be there.

Yeah, you could have, you know, set the zoom up and then you could have put your laptop on mute.

We're here now, Yeah we did. We got there and so yeah, thank you.

Okay, So can we talk about how cold it is in New York right now? It's thirty one degrees today.

It's no it's November going on December. This shouldn't be a surprise. It actually should be on point, which it hasn't been in weeks. It finally, it finally is like supposed to be what it's supposed to be.

Yeah, but you know what it is is because we had that like we had that week where it was like seventy two degrees for some random reason like no.

Global warming actually to be fast.

I think it was actually because Trump lost because the day that we found out the seventy degrees in New York, Oh, what a gorgeous spring summer fall day. And now it's like it's cold. And obviously we have seasons here. Some places people are listening and they don't have four seasons for seasons landscaping, but we uh, it just makes me want to be in the house, but I also want to be outside for some sunlight during the day. So I don't know how are y'all. Are you guys going outside.

Outside?

I'm going on set so I will be outside. But other than that, no, I've been really just trying to stay in the casa and keep it very cute. But you know, there's always something to make you do something else. I know.

I see Jams fat ass back there living his best cat life.

Oh my god, the jam is. I don't know what's going on with him, but he will be sleeping so hard that I'm I think that he's dead, and my heart drops, Like, Sydney, I feel like I'm having a panic attack. He just because he's sleeping hard.

He's a cat, a fat cat at that that's the only way he knows how to sleep.

Sys is hard. No, sometimes I'll just call him his name and he's up. He's like whoa, huh, what what are missing? What's going on? But I mean last night he just I caused his name three times and he would not wake up. And I said, if this cat dies in this apartment, lord take me too, because I would be screaming and wailing.

Was supposed to be sleeping too, right, Sydney, what makes you think that the cat is dead?

He wasn't waking up. He wouldn't. He wouldn't open his eyes, he was awake.

You're a black mom, and black moms call you when they don't need anything. They'd be like my mom would.

Be like why why? But then you come down and she's just like.

Damn, damn.

He knows you don't need anything. That's look, I saw the foot. He knows you don't need anything. That's why he's ignoring you.

He's like, bitch, my girlfriend, calls him a bum every time, but he is a nigga, and I'm like, he's getting it together. No, he's not, Sydney. The cat doesn't even have unemployment. He's not bringing no extra funds to the house. He's a bumb. My friend came over. Our friend came over last night and I was talking about this, these damn animals. It was we were going towards the end of wrapping up the sash, and she said, well, you know,

It's not really your Friendsis, you are definitely doing too much.

Every time she's like, Marie, look, Jelly's letting me hold her, I'm like, is your cat and she's been your cat for the last five years. I was. I was not really in her life. I was not participating for five of those years.

Okay, so she's been your cat for more than five years because you were with Adrianne for five So the cats must.

Be like eight seven.

Shut up, bitch, no, because you were there for the full five years, Sydney.

So for you to be like I wasn't really a part.

You were there, Sis, you lived there, You ignored them for five years. Of course she doesn't want you to touch her.

Wow, okay, come on, therapist, come on, ongoing fucking wow. Really it's actually it's actually the undoing whatever.

You know what I meant, I thank you, Khani Chung. It's go cut and called me honey Chung.

Okay, So is there anything new that we want to tell the listeners about today? Uh? Well, I have to address the not the last episode, like the but the episode before that when Bitch was sad. I mean, I had so many people in my DMS thinking I was going to commit suicide, and I had several people call me that hadn't. I was on the phone like hello, how did you get my number? But it was it was legit, like a friend that friends that I used to work with. They're like, yeah, listen to that podcast

Well, I feel like that's that Sometimes that's what friendship is is. It's not every day checking on somebody. But like when you hear something like that, wouldn't you? I mean, I feel like that would make me feel good that people are listening and care enough to reach out. But then on the flip side, it makes me feel bad because it's like, well, what if I was talking about you, like, I.

Don't I don't know all of these you know what I mean, I don't know all these people listen to the podcasts like duhok. When I used to work at the bar and I would talk about some of my coworkers, I know, they fucking knew. They definitely had to the way people be sliding in like oh my god, this was so funny or blah blah. They had to m They had to know that I was calling them an untry, untrustworthy ass bitch.

That's what's so sucky about like dating new people is you know, obviously I'm very cool, and they want to be uh. They want to see everything that I'm doing and know what I'm talking about, and I don't tell them about the podcast, but it's out there, so they find it, and I always like tell people, I'm always afraid to be like, well, don't listen to it. I

They have to. They're like, well, why can't I listen? And then as soon as I walk away, they're like episode one or they want to listen to something with a catchy as title.

But I don't know.

I still have I have things to say about I always will have things to say about these men. So I'm gonna still talk about them, but I'm gonna take my time and I'm gonna space it out in a way that it seems like is.

She talking to somebody? Yeah, or he used to do that, like you know, years ago. But then you when you open Pandora's box and just was like, Okay, I'm gonna be I'm gonna be just real, real deal holy field, which I really enjoy that that part of Marie's life is me being honest.

Mm hm, Why I think I pride myself in being a pretty honest person. When's the last time you told a lie, like an unnecessary lie.

Every day, every day, every day I'm lying about something or embellishing embellishing something. I mean usually i'm lying when I'm like I'm on my way, I'm lying about that, or eta is twenty minute, I'm lying about that, if anything with the time, I'm lying about.

But one time, this girl complimented me on my eyeshadow and I was.

Like, oh, I'm not wearing any makeup and she was like, but I see it, and I was like, no, that's my mid color.

But I was also in like high.

School, so I don't know why I lied, but I did.

But I mean, like an unnecessary lie like that, Andrew, last lie you told.

I usually lie about how much money I'm getting paid for projects and things.

Damn to your mom. You say that you're getting more more Yeah, And then they pull up on him and try to get the same rate, and they're like, actually, I know he's lying to his mom.

Oh exactly, I'm lying to my mom. Yeah, I'm lying to or I'm just like lying to other people that actually have jobs that actually pay well. And because this is not the cutest check, as you could probably.

Imagine, Andrew.

We get checks from this too. We know they're not that cute.

Hey hey, it's something, I mean, considering what's going on right now. Yes, yes, yes, I'm thankful.

Sure, yeah, that's usually about that, or like how are you doing? And I just say I'm good. You know, I don't want to get into it.

You know. Oh, well that's a lie that everybody tells every day, right, yeah. I lie on my mom about how much stuff costs, Like She's like, well, how much did you pay for that? And I'd be like, yes, not too, Like those are the liars that I'll tell. But I mean, realistically, now it's like, Sis, I don't remember how much I paid. You know, I just swiped.

Rich.

It's not even that it's not that I'm rich. Before I make any purchase, I I weigh all the options.

I read all the reviews.

I look for all the.

Promo codes, the coupon codes.

I do everything I can to be like not spend the money, and then when I'm finally ready to spend it, I do. And then sometimes I'm like, oh, I didn't need that, or why did I do that?

Or why didn't I wait till Black Friday or whatever the hell. So now I'm not gonna buy anything until after Thanksgiving.

That's that's what I'm on.

The Black Friday. The Black Friday prices are very very hopeful.

This episode comes out on Black Friday.

Oh I'm happy, look at Black Friday.

So the title is black Friday, Black Friday. Yeah, okay, black black Friday. For Black Friday, it's Black Hosts with Andrew. It would be black Friday if you weren't or Andrew, if you just.

Set in the file right if you want to, if you want to, go ahead and lug out for me, sweet baby.

The second I log out, the zoom is over.

Put it on mute and take a walk. Andrew. He's always pulling our edges and always pulling them.

Andrew thinks he is the Beyonce of the podcastle.

He said, well, we could send you to by talking.

Logistically, Yes, it will be over if I leave.

Yes, he's getting red.

You called me the Beyonce of the podcast, and I don't think that that's really fitting.

Well, you just said there would be no group without you, so.

Exactly logistically, yes, there wouldn't be a recording right now if it weren't for me.

Okay, for me, for me. Maybe is there anything that you guys feel like you need that like you would buy for a black Frighter. I mean, I've had so much idle time in this motherfucker, like I'm just buying stuff at this point, and so there's nothing that I really need. I mean, I do need to throw this table out that I have in my office and get a smaller one because it's taking up too much time much space. Uh, you know, the cats need more room or whatever. And I need to throw out this this

So that's beautiful.

That's another that's another conversation, but that's.

A beautiful poem. Friend, Your home is a reflection.

Of your mind.

Yeah, well, my home is cold, so my mind is also cold.

Oh, speaking of the heat, I don't know about y'all, but I feel like Goldilocks. I really do feel like like I can't there is no middle ground. It's either I'm freezing or the project heat is blasting so high that it's it's sucking out all of the moisture in my face and in my pussy and it's upsetting. Oh yeah. Either it's either in soul, either it's wop slipping slide records in this house, or it's it's sandpaper.

What's Sidney, what do you? What's this look that you got on in the house right now?

What are you wearing?

Because Andrew and I are both wearing sweaters, and I feel like your whole body is exposed.

Oh, because it's so hot in here, like when the heat actually turns on. I also need to put on a humidifier or boil some water because it is taking any little thing from my body. Oh wait, sucking it.

Oh God, that sounds nice. Actually sucking it sounds cute.

Thanks that for you, Thank you, I love that for you. Wow. So you're saying that your apartment is too hot, too hot? And then too cold because it's not all day, and then when it's when the heat is off, it's fucking burst city. And it's you know, someone said, nobody is gonna be perfectly happy with everything, and I said, I just gotta call it what it is and just be thankful that I have an apartment.

I guess, be thankful that you have an apartment with an office be Okay, did y'all hear my friend has an office in her home?

Andrew, do you have an office?

No? This is because my setup is like I'm right next to the radiator, right next to the radiator, and if I touch it, I get burnt. But and this is the only place in my apartment that I could possibly like set up like a little office space, and it's in this little cranny. But I'm so glad that you have an office space.

Okay. Yeah, the way y'all keep saying it out loud, it's like a fucking you know what else is in that office space? A printer? A printer, A printer. I want to tell you, this beach is reach No, no, no, no, no, let's let's keep it one hundred Okay, let's keep it straight. Benjamin's in here that was a gift.

I wish somebody would get me a printer and a year sulive ink. I say this, and that's that's.

What I want.

Because is the most annoying part because ink is dumb.

It's like I have to buy more and then I can only get this specific type of ink.

I was also gifted with more ink, so yeah, wow, oh the printer came with extra ink my Christmas present they got. But hey, hey, hey wait, that doesn't mean that I can't use more ink in the future. But yeah, it came with ink. And then I was I ran out and h this person gifted me some more ink. Wow. Ink sponsorship.

That is I think the market that we need to break into.

Is the ink sponsorship.

Andrew, you know, as the Beyonce logistically of the podcast, what can you do to get us some ink brand deals?

Let's rolling out right now for ink.

Well, no, some of us need printers, so you should get some apps for some printers to love.

You know, that's not me, Tracy Is Matthew knows you you her daughter.

So okay, I'd be like they want ink.

Also, I don't.

I don't even know where I would put a printer in my house, so it needs to be a travel size printer.

Thank you.

You could put it.

I know where you could put it.

You could put it on like that bench that you have by the table that sometimes people sit there and sometimes they don't.

So yeah, I could.

You're right, I'm thinking about it.

Okay, Well then Sydney, we were supposed to go antiquing next Friday, but I just realized next Friday is Thanksgiving Black Friday.

No, it's actually this Friday.

Oh okay, great.

Wait, it's this Friday. It's this Friday. Friend tomorrow tomorrow? Oh, look at it?

Oh?

Which is today? Which? Okay? This episode is out? Is out last Friday. Last week we talk about confusion and I love it. So yeah, this is I hate doing things in the morning because I do feel discombobulated and I do things get things like mixed up and I'm backwards and forwards and I don't feel like I'm on my A game. But you know, this is what helps you get your day started. And that's half the battle.

It's not doing things in the morning that got you discombobulated. You are on four hours of sleep, that's why you discombobulated. No, you woke up, you just went to sleep and you also just woke up.

I'm not a morning person, so also when I'm going to bed, I still when I wake up, I still feel like I'm all over the place and not in order. So well, that's up.

I mean, I'm not a morning person, but I think that you can like start habits that like make your mornings make more sense for you. You know, if you have a routine of things that you do in the morning, I'm going to do this, and then I'm gonna do this, and I'm gonna do this, then it makes your morning's easier or like more manageable. I think, mm hmm, that's what I think.

Mm hmm. Maybe maybe just start the day with some yoga babe, some downward dog. Okay, you and another friend that will remain nameless are really on these this this path or journey to you know, wellness, and I love this. I love this for the group, but you don't.

Love it for yourself because it seems like you are nowhere near this path of wellness.

I think you start going to bed at a more reasonable hour.

Yes, that's what it is, Andrew, you say it come through. No, we really did want to hear that thank you. Come on, Joelle, thank you on Black Friday. Come come talk to us. Man.

I'm sorry, Okay, I'm just gonna mute myself for the rest of the episode.

No, no, no, we need you people. People are always in the dms. Like I love when Andrew is on the episode More of Andrew and.

Just telling you to go to bed more.

Andrew, Andrew, More Drew, Andrew. What time do you go to bed?

Like around like eleven?

Oh? Wow? Fuck? Every day? Oh you're really?

Yeah? Wait, because I wake up at like six seven, and it's like, I'm tired.

But why do you get up so early?

You just have more hours in the day when you wake up early?

Okay, Beyonce you that's really Beyonce has the same amount as hours as everyone else.

Yeah, yeah, you the same amount of hours in the day as Beyonce.

Oh hey wow, oh.

Wow, I love that.

Can we talk about getting what we wish for and then not wanting the thing that we wish for?

Yeah? You know, can we? Uh?

Sometimes you think you want something, or you asked for a specific type of person, or you asked for a speci type of job or thing, and then you get it and you're like oh no, this is too much work, or this is this is this person is too needy, or this person's.

Specifics, Babe, I'm trying to be as vague as possible. Or you're like this person is too needy, Like I gotta see this person every day or once a week, you know what I mean. Like it's you know, everything that you wanted in something, it come right back, it come along in a different form. And you're like, this is not actually it's not the it's not my size. Yeah, time and is time and is everything? And uh, it's

Well, the second train is your rebound train, and sometimes and the rebound train is everything that the first train was. But no that you wanted the first train to be be Yeah, but you're like, I.

Still you know that first train, that's the train.

It sounds like we're talking about people running trains on us, but we're not. Yeah, we're not. But also that's a great title, the rebound Train that we will we will love you know what.

It is is because it's fine whatever.

It's fine, sis, we love the vaguenscus.

The rebound Train sounds like something that somebody's gonna be like, well, let me listen to this.

Yeah, we do be having titles, and uh, it always works out for some of us, but other times. I mean the person that I'm that I'm dating listens to the podcasts every week, not every week, but she definitely listens, and I can't. I can't say anything messy hey babe pass And the thing is is that my last relationship, I was very specific. I said, yeah, don't listen. I don't need you to listen. That's it. It'll be better

Yeah, but but fifty maybe not fifty percent.

I think forty percent of the you good texts are people who don't want you to be good. They want you to be doing bad so they can be like it'll be okay, or so they can like feel good about their situation. I think sometimes when people reach out to their friends after they hear something, it's not always because that person that's reaching out has the best intentions

For this year specifically, I'm gonna say, yeah, let them give them that tea because it's been fucking dry. We're doing the same stuff every day, and so I just want to shout out to all the good brothers and sisters that feel the need to text me and call me and let me know their business when when I was trying to like clean my apartment or get my day started, or you know, I really love that you stopped me every single time to give me that good good And a lot of the times I'm always like, oh,

I didn't know they was doing that bad. Like I do like hearing.

I like hearing people's mess, but also you know, these people are the same people are like, don't tell anybody, don't tell Marie. So Marie doesn't even know.

So just no, I don't know if you've ever told Cities something and you told her not to tell me.

I don't.

I don't know nothing about your life, Janice.

It's just that's just how it works, unfortunately, And I can't even believe that Marie still talks to me, because I really don't have anything to say at all. Who the kettle is dry? Woo? I can't uh oh, you know, but I wanted to talk about who y'all be going to for the gynecologists, Who y'all got going, who y'all got going? All up and through y'all running through your pussy like the tomb raider. Who do you have? Because

That sounds like a Harry Potter spell.

Well, the vagina is magical, So I was just the narrative. I was sitting here trying to remember last time I got a pap smere, But I do remember what it was. Remember I they thought I had, Remember I talked about it. On the podcast. Yes, what was it?

Oh h I was so mad. Yes, everyone has it.

And everybody was like, well, I've never had it.

I've never I too, have never had HBV.

Oh So I had it over the like the end of the summer because I was talking to the Jamaican at the time, remember him, Yeah, man, the Jamaican.

I was like, I think I have HPV and he was like HPV the fuck what's that? And he was freaking out about it.

And then it was like, sir, you probably gave it to me.

He's like, I'm gonna go talk to my doctor.

I'm like, you coughed on it and now I have it. Yeah, what did Cardi B Say? When you eat baking egg and cheese, that's how you give people eat It's true, though you eat it has baking egg and cheese, and then you let somebody sit on your greasy face. It's like, no, you gotta brush your teeth. You can't. And like the spit has a ton of bacteria, so you spitting on it and you're doing all this crazy shit. It's like, hold up.

I'm not taking medical advice from Cardi B.

But but that when it was valid, she was not lying.

I don't know nothing about that.

I feel like, if somebody's coming to have sex with me, or I'm going to somebody's house, then you in an ideal world, you jump in the shower before I get there, right, Like, if somebody's coming to pick me up, I'm like, oh, let me, let me brush my teeth or like mouth wash or something.

You know.

Well, as we learned, since people are not even washing any fucking legs properly. So you know, no, no, no, no, no no no, no, no no no.

White people aren't washing their legs properly. That's what Twitter taught me. And I'm not banging white people in this economy, right.

They had that whole conversation last year about like and like half of the country wasn't washing their legs in the shower. Nope. And they're like and they were like, oh, if I'm washing my armpits, then the soap is just falling down past my legs. I'm like, that's not the same thing, y'all.

Really, really really is dumb. You know, I'm not.

Using wash clothes, so the soap, the bar of soap is just touching the arms and then yeah.

What it's too much for me. But I will say sometimes it's hard to get all in the back, like my arm is not reaching all the way. Like I'm getting there, but there's like I'm definitely missing some spots.

Well yeah, but sometimes you know, do you do you come up on the side of the or the shoulder. I go above the shoulder, I try to go around.

I go under. You know, I have really long, long arms, thankfully, but I do feel like right in the freaking middles, you know, just just throw some soap on the cat and have him roll up big.

Those cats use your body as a jungle gym anyway, so let them help the wadies.

I love these fucking things. I mean, they they definitely tell me. They they let me know when things are getting too hectic in here and they're like, bitch, you have got to get it together. It's ghettoing here right now. So they tell your sister, Yeah, they be me owing and or they're following me around, or if I've slept, if I'm sleeping on the couch too long, Jelly will pounce on me and just like get up, like she taps me. She's like, bitch, ain't you got stuff to do? Well?

I sent you a video yesterday as a fat cat on a treadmill. But she's meowing and it's in the water and just one paw is moving. Did you see it?

I saw it. I saw it. I went to that cat's page. That cat started at twenty one pounds and the goal weight is twelve pounds.

So they're trying to get this cat some a body together.

Now. Apparently all the poor kitty did he get. He gained all the weight during pandemic.

I think the cat was just fat.

I can't fit any of my jeans. I'm that cat. I'm legit. I've gained so much weight on. My face looks so puffy right now. So I'm working on my birthday body, Like how Sydney tell us how you're working on your birthday body? Your birthday body.

I'm drinking more water that's it. That's all you're doing to work on it.

That's step one one.

Also, more water could just be a cup of day because that feels like more than what you were drinking before. Okay, Sydney Birthday Body Round one or step one is drink more water.

Step two is wet friend. Cut back on you know, the juices, the sodas, the red bull, the Chinese food. The I need to juice more. So I'm definitely gonna be using the juicer that I went half on a baby with Carolina with, and I'm gonna get that in order. I gotta I gotta have my fruits and vegetables, and I can't be afraid to use kale and celery and carrots and all those things that tastes disgusting, but I just have to do it.

You never had good kale or good carrots.

No, I haven't. It is good, but I don't like it in my juice or smoothie.

No, I don't like those. Okay, I understand, I want you to put them in the juice. But you can still eat kale and you can still eat carrots.

Yeah, I'll do all that too. Okay, So step one is drink more water. Step two is drink less juice but also more juice.

Okay, got it, Just listen. I just want to say it out loud so everybody hears what the plan is. And then step three.

Actual movement the body while the microphone is laying on her chest. I am that fucking cat, the cat the treadmill. Oh my god, I swear, But this week I feel good because I I've actually gotten out of the house more than I have in the last three weeks. I tweeted that that I did a wellness check. I was like, how many people are steeping on the couch because they left their laundry on the bed and they refuse to

I'm gonna do my part and be the mean friend right here, because that's the rule that I was born to play.

You don't even do.

Your own laundry.

You send it out so you can't even do the step of putting it away. Now, Oh, oh my god, are you omogtting me or Olmo gotting her.

No to Sydney. It's just really you get it done and you can't. I feel bad, I know, I feel I feel really bad because that. I used to be like that when I was very, very depressed. I remember taking my laundry back from the laundromat and then just leaving it in the laundry laundry bag and then it just got wrinkly because I was just too depressed to even take it out.

So, yeah, Citny, you gonna get more texts after this episode.

Drop Oh you wrinkly said bitch?

Why yeah, yeah, Well you know we're working. We're working through it, ma'am.

So mm you're sleeping around it, babe. You're not working through your laundry. You are not even sleeping in the bed with it. I sleep in the bed with my laundry.

And that's what most people were saying. They were like, oh, I didn't even think about They're like, so, why don't you just move the laundry. The couch is like, because the couch is the communal space and that's when people walk in. So like, I could close the door to my room and you don't know what's going on there, But you can't do that to the living room.

So although there's just as much effort to move the clothes to the couch than it would exactly.

So no, no, no, no. So here what you do. Here's what you do.

I got it.

You move the clothes from the bed to the couch so you can sleep in the bed.

Then in the morning you wake up, you moved it. You move it from the couch back to the bed. This is that movement you were seeing you needed for the new box.

You just keep moving it back and forth. And that's how you're going to get some gains. And that's how you're gonna build build that that laundry core, you know what I mean, honestly brilliant, And it's the new workout. It's the new workout plan for depressed people that are too depressed to move their laundry and put it actually in the drawers. But it's an enough movement to make sure that you're not laying down the whole day. And

And while you're shifting, some things might get like something might fall on the floor, so you're picking things up, so that's another range of motion fuses, and then you can relearn how to fold things because you're gonna have to refold some of those things.

So oh no, no, I'm at the point where it's like, Okay, the clothes have been sitting here so long that they're dirty again. So yes, you just got to send them out. Yes, that's that's keep.

Just keep spending that money since keep spending that podcast money on doing laundry and then not putting it away.

Yes, you are living the dream, babe. It's only it's only thirteen dollars. So it's thirteen dollars for how much laundry a lot? Hm?

Can you bring your laptop in there? Can we see the laundry? Can we visit the pile?

No, I won't do that. That's that's why. That's that's when it gets that's when it gets scary, and I'm not I'm not doing that. So you know it's scary?

Is I know that the cats sleep on the pile of laundry, so the clothes is clean but covered in cat hair.

So yes, man, I might as well throw them all out the window.

Yes, I might as well. Burn the cats burn everything.

The cats are resting on your panties, so no, we don't do that.

They're not resting on the panties. But so you put the panties away. The panties are in an in another area, and the bag of laundry they're at the bottom. So I go through the bag every day to find the underwear.

So okay, Sydney, Yeah, you gotta get your life together, sisce that. That don't make no type of sense. You go through the bag, you go to the bottom of the bag to get your panties every day.

That's a lie.

You're not wearing panties every day. I don't believe.

All right, thanks, don't prove it.

Don't prove it, please, I have fannies, guys, thank you so much. But no, I I tweeted that out and honestly, you know, I should have more shame, but I don't. But it's it's therapeutic because I now I know. I'm like, ah, this is what I needed to push me in the direction to actually get it done. But also, my girlfriend's coming soon, so I literally only have a week left of this these shenanigans, and then there's no way I can live like that with somebody else coming this way.

I mean, I mean, I think she's just gonna have to She's gonna have to learn to live with that pile of clothes.

No, what are you looking at?

I'm looking at reviews of the podcast, the way that you jumped on me for looking at my phone when you live on yours on this here podcast.

We're done bullying Sydney. I feel like this and he's been there enough this week.

What's she been doing this week?

I just feel like we've been on her about being depressed, and it's like, Okay, then the podcast is gonna be over, and then Cidny's gonna have to be back in her depression hive.

Depression partner carollabing my apartment the depression Hive Depression, I can say, depression also a great title.

So I actually like depression Hive.

I love that, Andy, Yeah, I actually do, because you know we'll have another Black Friday next to you. Yeah, that's stupid depression. Technically every Friday is Black Friday on this podcast. I really I tweet for the people that are too sad to tweet out the ship that's going on in their apartment and then I do it and they're like, yo, that's where the fuck I am. Thank you for making me feel seen, thank you for seeing me, thank you for thank you for seeing the doing that's not being done.

I don't think that I'm bullying Sydney at all. I think that I'm being a good friend.

Yeah, yeah, you're you're being you are a good friend. I think that sometimes even you being a good friend, I'm just in such a like sensitive place that you're being a good friend. But it's not helpful for me because then it's I'm unraveling while you're talking to me. But also like what is the proper because for the depression episode, I was like, well, I don't want to say the wrong thing, and Andree was like, no, there's no such thing as saying the wrong thing.

And I was like, no there is. But I don't I don't know if it's good to.

Or I don't think that it's good to What is a word that I'm trying to use here enable enable people when they're depressed, because like you're tiptoeing around, I'm tiptoe around how somebody feels so that I don't upset them, but the way that they're living their life is upsetting me and my homegirls. So where's the middle, you know? But but you know what you can do. You can get off the phone, you could close the laptop, you can put the text on do not disturb, and live

Yes, but you want your friends to be able to lean on you when they need you, obviously, But like, Sidney, do you remember when you were having panic attacks, like and they were coming like more and more often before you started.

Your like therapy and stuff.

And you will call me and I'd be like, Sydney, I don't know what I'm supposed to say to you, like remember, and it was like I don't want to say the wrong thing thing. But then like the more frequently you would have these panic attacks, the less it was like, dude, you have to do something about this. Yeah, like you cannot keep living your life like this.

And then just like deal with these panic attacks after they've happened.

You have to do something to prevent them from happening. And you were like you weren't ready to take that step and eventually you you stopped having them or I guess you.

I don't know if you stopped having them, but you stopped talking to me about them.

So because it's like.

I don't know, I feel like if something doesn't work, or something is disrupting your life, or something doesn't make you feel good, then you have to cut that thing out.

Or you're talking as a person who's like, obviously you don't you're not. I wouldn't say like you have chronic depression, like obviously you get you get down and things like bother you and it it it it. It might mess up a day or maybe a week, but it's not like crazy ongoing, but something that like I have and other people who listen to the podcast, it's like a

I'm talking about before you got on antidepressants because you did not want to take them.

You refuse to talk to somebody about them.

And every time you had a panic attack, it was like, Sydney, you have to talk to somebody. You gotta you have to are taking You gotta either talk to a therapist or you need to be on antidepressants. And you did not want to do that. And it was like, so me as your friend, you're telling me about these chemical imbalances, but me as your friend, I can't just keep Okay, Well, I hope.

You feel better tomorrow.

No, you have Like you're saying that you didn't want to take the step or you were incapable of taking those steps, but you had to do something different in order to not, you know, have these crazy panic attacks anymore.

And I'll tell you that I think what's useful for you. Maybe it sounds harsh, but like, yeah, I don't know what to tell you other than like maybe you should google what to say to a friend who is dealing with it, because I mean, sometimes it sounds like you're coming from a good place, but there is all over the place, and any little thing could fucking jump start something that you didn't mean to like be a part of.

I understand that. I understand that it's not that simple.

I get that, And you know, I was just in that situation and I had to leave the relationship situation that I was in because of this. But then then I don't know, and I googled. I was doing my research, and the more I googled the Saturday it made me. But like also the like.

I'm not gonna say the matter, it just made it makes me sad, and like dealing with people who have depression and where look at us, it's pression episode again.

Depression.

You see how she's sucking me into the depression hive.

Oh my god, I'm not sucking you in. I was. I was keeping it light and you guys were like, oh honey, get it together.

Well I don't know if we were saying it together but we definitely were telling you to put your laundry away.

We did said that.

I don't know.

I feel like if you have energy to do certain things, and you should have energy to do that too. That's that's what my mind, where my mind goes immediately. Come on, Matthew Knowles. Matthew knows is Tracy. I'm the mean Destiny's child.

I'm on Angie, the cousin, the thick one.

I'm I'm Lac Tavia or whatever.

Who's the one that got arrested whatever?

Barah got arrested? Well, technically Sydney is Sarah, but oh all right, couldn't it? And Pharah didn't stay bitch, So that's not me. But you're the only one here on this zoom that got arrested. So that's you, babe. I So Lindsey Lohan got arrested.

But you don't want to be that. She don't even want to be that.

She's not one Desy's children, She's.

She's not even a part of some hive. Okay, don't you. Nora got arrested one, so you Chloe of the groups is I'll think that new faith? Who is hm?

Who does that make you?

If Sydney is Chloe. Yeah, who's the mean Who's the mean Kardashian or the most honest Kardashian.

Courtney's the one that just like essentially canceled the show. I don't watch it, but like she was the one that was like, I don't want to do this show anymore, and so now it's over for her.

He said, I don't want to be in that toxic relationship anymore. Good for fucking Courtney got to be like forty forty two or something right now. Courtney said, I'm here with my original face, bitch, don't you y'all switching and y'all changing niggas and faces and all is left and right, and I can't keep up with the babies and everything that y'all do. And Kanye is office rocker and said I gotta go. I got piece out. You could take your your lip kits and your and yours

Know, they manufacture all the things, all the drama, all the things that happen on that show. But like she was like, I don't want to share my real life and I don't want to share my fake life.

Let's go. I'm every can we just clap for Courtney? I'm I'm not clapping for any of them. I'm not a fan of the fan at all, but I mean, I'm not listen, I'm not a fan of them either, but yo, I'm clapping for her because yeah, after what twenty years and all the points that they were making, she was like, it's time to walk away. Guys, there's nothing else to do or say, let's just let's just be better and live our lives quietly.

Well, you're saying live quietly. They're still social media people. They're still selling their teas and their skims and their Christmas Grinch kids, and they're still selling stuff. But they've reached a point where like everybody in the world at this point knows who they are. So, I mean, my mom calls them kadashi, So even my mom knows Kadashi. So do you still need to show on E? I mean, what is E gonna do?

Now? He was gonna make it happen. They definitely was like, Yo, we gotta push Courtney down to fly the stairs. She gotta be gotta be storyline. Yeah, the Courtney, the Courtney Coma storyline season eight.

We don't know how she got pushed down, like we see like one of the.

Producers it was him And this is like I saw she got on the slippery socks.

Yeah.

Remember Marie and Showgirls when when she tripped the girl. Ah, yes, that's what that's what they need to do for Courtney.

Yeah, but Cortney's a mother, you know, she might fall down and land on one of her kids. So that yeah, maybe not put your down a flat stair.

No, no, no, no, I don't. I don't suggest violence upon I don't wish it upon anybody. But that's the stunts that I feel like E would would have tried to do to get the shot, to get what they needed done because it was so much money.

And yeah, they made they've made a lot. I mean, Kylie is now a billionaire. She wasn't when the article came out, but she is.

There is not she was she had like nine million dollars.

Like like ten other like spinoff shows right like there's still on TV. Yeah.

The fact that they didn't get the nan one of them show. Nana should have got one of them shows. Who's Nana J? M J M should have got like her Frankie and Grace type show. Oh I didn't. I don't even know. So they have a Nana on the show. Yeah, MJ. Chris and still alive and her and that loose full bang she got going on. They they could definitely pull a little storyline for her. She's not she's not fucking nobody, she's not doing nothing, she's not causing no drama.

I just oh, I didn't know she was still alive.

And MJ is so sweet that I was like, how did you? How did you birth Chris?

This is well, good people have bad children all the time, baby, Okay, people give birth to serial killers, people give birth to fuck boys. People give birth to these people.

I know, and we can't get we can't get mad at them. It's not their fault. But it's also like, what could we have done better?

You know, it's a little bit their fault, but yes, you know, what could you have been better? So your kid was not so terrible? But I think I was talking to somebody about this the other day, about how men men's moms do a lot of work for them, like a lot of men. Maybe it's like I don't know if it's American moms, but definitely Caribbean moms. And like Hispanic moms, they like spoil their sons, They like do things for their sons.

They cook for them, they do their laundry for them, they change the oil in their cars for them. And then when these men go out and try to be in relationships, they not bring nothing to the table because they've never had to do anything. And it's not because their mothers. It's because their mothers care about them so much. They turn these grown ass men into babies essentially, and then those men are useless to me and Andrew so useless.

Okay, well, I mean sometimes it's as easy as having a conversation as with the person that you're with. If you are not happy in your current situation, or you don't like the role that you're playing in your relationship or whatever, it's sometimes it's as easy as having a conversation and telling the person that you're with that you're not happy. I think a lot of times women want to like like kind of tiptoe or like stomp around

And also you're not going to be on any role that you don't put yourself in. So if you're like cleaning and cooking and that's what you're doing up top, that's what people get comfortable with and they get content and even me, like I was in that situation where I was like, Okay, well this person is like taking care of the house or taking care of me, And at the end of the day, nope, nope, that person that I was dating was not my mother. It was

Well, that's like it's like when you have sex with a guy for the first time. I mean, I don't know, or with somebody for the first time. I don't know if I'm sure I'm not the only person that does this, but like you know, the first time you like give somebody head, maybe you're like, I'm not gonna do that good a job. I'm be kind of lazy with it, so you don't ask me to do it again. That's that's the energy that I'm on Andrew.

Yes, Yeah, okay, you do it.

You do it, decent job, but you're like, I'm not really gonna I'm not really gonna do it. I'm not gonna Jill Scott it because I'm you're not gonna ask me to do this every time you come over here. Yeah, especially because I mean it just it reminds me of like bartenders when I would ask for a virgin mohido. They make the first one so good that I'm like,

Six months later you're like and they're like, oh, myke, do you want to be my.

Mom this weekend? Yeah? It was like, oh damn, are you have you ever done that? No? That was that was my first time thing theme. Yeah. The dude that I was with for the pandem would like make comments about that, like every time, like I would see him and it was like, oh oh oh he was like the first time we hooked up, I was like does she like me? And I was like, well, I didn't know if I did. But you know, every time you do something with somebody, they should look at the end

Self doubt saves relationships, it does, it does.

There's always uh, there's always upward mobility. If you're not giving your all, well, if.

You're not giving your all to me, then I will leave you. But if you're giving me too much too soon, I will also leave you.

So honestly, you.

Gotta figure out, you gotta you gotta do the Jenga and figure girl.

You you're a tough You're a tough titty too. You are goldie locks as well. Yes I am a Goldilocks, because yes I am. You know that I am. Yeah, so I'd be like this is this is too hard, this is too soft, this is just not for me. Yeah, So all you thoughty goldielocks out there, which your you know, your your braids and your teflar blags or whatever. What is tel far tell far back is what you're calling it.

Day to give somebody bad head if you're a woman, how about that?

Yeah, this is bad day, bad head day. I like that for us, badhead day. Okay, Well, is there anything that you want to leave the listeners with before we go, any final words from the bag of laundry or is does Jam want to say a couple of words on the mic?

Andrew, Is there something that you think that we missed?

No, I think we got it. I mean I hope that everyone is, you know, having a safe Thanksgiving and Black Friday. I guess it's all virtual. Yeah, just don't be stupid.

Yeah, don't be stupid. Don't be stupid. So cranberry sauce will never be worth it driving all the way to fucking some store because you need to get this TV. Order it online. Like it's okay, there's a there's a pandemic going on. It can wait.

Oh yeah, I'm not I'm not trying to do any of those things.

Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, it's not that good. You can you can watch it on your laptopic. Wow, I still haven't seen it. I'm gonna I'm gonna watch It's not good. I'm not here for it. I'm like, I'm no offense to the more Mormon community. I know y'all got your whole lifestyle together and it's a little bit kookie, but I'm not really interested. I'm not I could care less. Wow, the Mormons in Atlanta, the Mormon slander cannot live on this podcast. This is sorry, guys,

Comments on what what posts are you posting all.

Of the page. I need you to subscribe to our real patreon. Andrew or black Friday. We are not half off for Black Friday. But Andrew talking about the instagram on Instagram, and I mean I did the last post literally nine months ago, and I will not do the next post because I asked Sydney at least three times to post on the page and she was like, yeah, I'm gonna do it.

It still says link in the bio.

Soon there's not gonna be no Lincoln, no bio. I'm gonna you know what, I'm gonna deactive make the page.

Oh new year old page. Deactivate the page, babe, do what you gotta do.

Bye bye, for.

This has been a Forever Dog production. The Unofficial Expert is executive produced by Brett Bohem, Joe Silio and Alex Ramsey. Senior producer Tracy Soren, Produced by Andrew McGuire. Cover art by Sandy Hoenig. To listen to this podcast ad free, sign up for Foreverdog Plus at Foreverdog Podcasts dot com