Forever. Okay, So, for those of you who are just tuning in at the very beginning of the episode, everyone's wearing orange today except for Andrew. So if you're wearing orange patch yourself on the back, you made it. You did it, kiddo, So proud of us. Andrew. Do you own anything orange?
No? I don't own anything orange.
Hmm, Well, I don't you know which your coloring. I don't know what it's gonna look like. I don't know what it's going to do.
Yeah, I don't know if it meshes well with the colors of your eyes, but.
Right I don't know if it pairs well with your undertones.
We have the same color eyes?
Who is the same color eyes?
Don't we all have? We all have brown eyes.
My eyes are hazel bin.
Marie does have a different shade of brown than everybody else.
I mean, the sun has to be directly in my eyes, you see it. But it's a tiny bit less doodle than doodle, you know. Yeah, It's so true.
And I love like I don't Sometimes I'm I'm scared because I will look into your eyes when the sun is hitting you, and I'm like, am I in love with her?
I mean you're dating somebody who does have like very obviously light lighter eyes. So yeah, you're saying that when you look into my eyes and the sun is shining, it feels like home for you. Yeah.
I'm not gonna lie, Mary. It's good eyes. You have great eyes.
Good eyes. Speaking of good eyes, we were on the phone earlier today talking about fillers. When I think of fillers, I think of Courtney Cock's oar cat. I don't even know if she still go about our cat. But you know, when people get too much fillers, their eyes kind of like recede into their head and the rest of her face gets really puffy. But I don't know. We saw somebody today who got filers done to black woman and she looked good. So should I get fillers?
I don't even think she needed it, per se, not six hundred dollars worth of filler. But I did it before dollars six hundred dollars.
She's oh wait, No, I was talking about the girl that Carolina sent us, the girl from Instagram. Oh I don't know.
I don't at the end, I don't know how much she paid. But it did look really good. It looked amazing, and I really wanted. I was like fuck, because I when I don't wear a makeup, I look fine, but I can visibly see how tired I am. And if you get fillers, you looked, you look more refreshed.
So fillers go under the eye, like if you have like lines under your eye, or if you have like hyperpitmentation, it like yes, set out, so it makes it look less dark.
Yes, less dark. And also you lose elasticity in your skin the older you get, so your your your face kind of droops a little bit, or or you lose a little bit of fullness in your face. So so filler you know, ads, But what is this.
Obsession with having a full face when you're grown. I want to be gaunt. I want to be like skinny, sunk in. I want my cheekbones to look like a lady got god prosthetic. I just want my face to be sharp. I want to look like Cruela de Ville in the cartoon. That's what I want my face to look like when I'm old.
I mean, if you look at us when we're younger, like our baby faces, there they are, it's fuller. It's a it's a sign of youthfulness or for some people it's puffiness, yes, but I don't want to.
When I look at pictures of me from even when we first met a couple of years ago, my face was round. It not it was round, Yes, it was. It was round my face.
Marie, you said a couple of years ago, but it was eight years ago.
Friend, that was a couple of years ago face.
Okay, all right, okay, wow, wow, I thought you arguing around you.
Yes, ma'am, truly girl. Whatever a couple of years for you means what twenty nineteen?
Pretty much? Yeah, a couple. A couple is two or three.
Oh, y'all talk.
But you know English is not my first language, and that's not what that's not a couple. Oh Lord, have mercy Jesus Christ. Okay, So yeah, you want to have a gun face. I like a gone I like a sharp face too, but I do hate that like underneath my eyes is like a little sunken in because I did get fillers. I got fillers like maybe five years.
Ago, and it was a couple of years ago.
Yo.
Yeah, So it wasn't It wasn't a good job. And I try to go back and get it fixed and win.
What's a bad job? He hit your eye.
Like what is a bad job when it comes to fillers, A bad job is you can see the actual like where they like punctured my skin with the needle. You can see where the needle was inserted. It was a bad job. I can send you pictures, we.
Can pose like it sounds like he needs to uh he should have used a tinier needle, Like what does that now?
He just wasn't good like this is and it was like a hookup from a friend who worked at this the METS spot shit. You don't go to a met spot. Just go to a certified plastic surgeon like its met SPA. You can get like, you know, facials and you can get things to like brighten your skin. But when you get that needle thing, when you when they start doing stuff with your face. I just go to a professional like a metspa's like a city MD for surgery.
Is that what you're saying?
Pretty much?
I don't know. I think when it comes to surgery, you either got to save up the money to do it the right way with the right eye, or you gotta get somebody else. You said, you might have to secure a little sugar daddy so they can pay for it, But like, I don't understand why people be trying to cut corners when it comes to plastic surgery.
No, your your body, your face is not like a shirt. It should not be on sale. Like right, y'all, don't be watching botched. No, yeah, I mean the fact that people go to other country, Well, I get while they go to other countries because they sometimes they do do a better job. But I don't know the risks, the risk, the fact that I don't know their language. I don't know what this is.
Is that why people get surgery done in other countries because ye better job. I thought they went because it was cheaper in like Columbia or dr or Mexico or Costa Rica or whatever.
No, they it's it's a better job in terms of like these are the girls who have the bbls And you're like, oh my, who the.
Fuck it is calling me? I'm sorry, it's not like we don't have this standing appointment every single week.
As wild Yeah sorry friend, Yeah, it's just uh like when you go to Columbia, you see the bodies, you see the girls. You go to Brazil, you see they bodies Like these are the bodies that people aspire to have, and it's because they're getting those things left and right.
Yes, but all of the bodies in Brazil, all of the bodies in Central America, are not fake and built bodies. Some of those are their natural.
That's what I'm saying. People want to look like their natural bodies.
Right. You gotta take that up with the God that you serve, Babe, talk to your mother and your father about why your body is shaped how it's shaped. But like, somebody's natural body is always gonna look better than your built body. Somebody who has the body shape that you're going in to get surgery for, if they have it naturally, it's gonna look better than yours because it's real. Right, that's what I think. You think you think if somebody brings in a photo of a body and they're like,
this is what I want to look at. Like, let's talk about Kim Kardashia, for for example, people be bringing her photos into the plastic surgery place, like I want to look like Kim.
And then she'd be bringing it she Yeah, she brings in old pictures of her body and she's like, so I want this, but like a little bit bitty, it's a mess. It's just like either you accept your rough draft, you know, body, or you know, you try to get the final draft that you thought you were meant to have.
No. See, I'm not shaming anybody who's going in to get plastic surgery or whatever. If you're not happy with your rough draft, body, then go ahead, sis upgrade to like a thicker sheet, you know, that glossy photo paper if you need to. But like, just don't be trying to cut corners with it. Like, don't don't go somewhere where the doctor is doing ten implants in one day. He might he might do yours. Cricket.
Don't get your titties on groupon period. And that is the title. That's the title of this.
Yeah, we'll see what happens, okay. So uh, speaking of appearances and stuff, we were talking about aunties. For me, calling me an auntie feels like a slur because I
am not an auntie. When I went to UH. I was at this event a few weeks ago, and people that I went to school with were there, and they all of them have children and stuff now, and they look to me like aunties, Like they look like what my aunts and uncles look like to me when I was a kid, like they're shaped like our parents, Like they just look older and I'm walking around with my you know, my my my high school body still, So
I don't I don't subscribe to this auntie title. It feels it feels mean when people call me an auntie.
I mean, Murray, do you think do you think I feel like my my body doesn't give auntie vibes? Yeah, but your energy is auntie. Sometimes I don't think that your body is auntie at all. Absolutely, I don't feel like I dressed like an aunt I see Andrew's face. What's your fucking face?
Talk to me.
Wait, I'm okay, get in, Marie. You're going to this event and you're saying, like the meanest thing that like anybody could call you is auntie. However, you're saying that everybody else at the party is that so like that's mean. You're saying.
No, I'm not calling them aunties. I'm saying they look exactly how Like when I was a kid and my aunts and uncles will come to the house, think about what they look like, think about what they were wearing, think about what their body shaped was. That's what these people I went to school with look like, now I'm not saying that they're aunties. I'm saying no, I'm saying they are. That's what they are. That's what Andrew.
Andrew was like, I'm just trying to clarify this, just.
Trying to clarify you're saying the thing. Okay, but it's because it is anybody saying that to you, people.
Within the roop chat that I'm in, being like, we're aunties. Now, this is auntie and I'm like, but I'm not an auntie.
Yeah, I'm an I'm an auntie in a real life and I'm like, I'm not an aunt Oh.
Wow, Sydney's an AUNTI in real life. Sidney, you are an auntie, baby, I've been.
I've been an aunt since like I don't know, I was a kid.
My niece.
My niece is thirty now, I think she's thirty or twenty nine.
Sydney, you are an aunt when you were six pretty much.
Yeah, it's I see her laughing. It's not funny.
I mean it is funny, but your siblings are like twenty years older than you. Yeah, it makes sense, it makes I don't know, wild it is just anti because I don't dress like an auntie, and I don't. I'm not shaped like an auntie. That's why I'm not. Also, I don't have any nieces or nephews.
I'm an honor in real life. But I'm just saying I think when I'm in my home, you know, I'm gonna wear my bonnet, I'm gonna.
Like, ooh, I'm hot, I'm cold.
Ooh, I need a blanky like yes, peak auntie.
That's that's grandmother behavior right there. I need a play kid for.
My legs, Like I need to have the ac on and the heater and then wrapped up in a blanket.
I like, I mean the way I look at.
Things on a computer, I'm just like squinting, squint the squint, I do the scra Are you doing the squint and then you pull the thing away so you could read it better? Oh no, no, no, I don't do that, not yet. That is that's full blown on m that's my dad.
I mean, I don't know.
We just don't want to fucking grow up. We don't want to grow up. When we were kids, were like, I can't wait to grow up, and then it's like you don't want to grow up, you don't want to age you don't want people to associate you with, you know, olderness.
But it's not that I don't want to grow up. I mean, being an adult is definitely ghetto. Two stars would not recommend, but I just don't feel grown up, you know. And then every once in a while, I'll be doing something in my house and it will hate me that I am an adult, and I'll be like, yeah, dial like I this, no, but I don't know. When I talk about gen Z now, I'll be like, well, what the kid's talking about? So I do call them
the kids. So the youth like the youth, the youth's what's the youth's doing?
Yeah, It's like it's like I at the end of the day, we're all gonna hit forty one day, Like if we're lucky, if we're lucky, if we're you know, if God willing, you know, we're gonna hit it. And it's like, do I want to be forty talking about you know, I'm actually twenty nine?
Like no, But I also when I hit forty, that's a milestone that like, I think when you hit forty, that's when you're don't give a damn hits like turbo because at forty years old. You just want to sit down and you want to I don't know, stand up in your back, don't cray. I don't know what forty wants. But I feel like when you're the older you get, the less you care. So people in they fifties are still lying about how old they are.
No, I mean, I mean truly, I want to get to that point of not caring because I care too much. Like my brain is plagued with other people's thoughts or my thoughts of what other people think of me, and it's sickening. And I am closer to forty than everybody on this call. So it's just I'm like, when do I get to the I don't give a fuck stage?
What?
Sidney? You so wait, hold on, take a step back. You're saying that you care what people think about you? You you so what that affects how you live your life?
Sometimes sometimes it does affect I.
Mean, I don't know. There's you're pretty open and you be sharing your business with people. It don't seem like you care what people think about what you who you are and what you're you've dealt with Andrew, I disagree.
I think that Sidney, you're very protective of your your of yourself, and when someone does have something negative to say, such as like a negative review, there is a reaction.
Yeah. So no, I'm not saying I agree with what you just said. When someone has something to say, there's a reaction. But I'm saying Sidney lives her life essentially like an open book. She's she's open about her sobriety journey,
she's open about her mental health journey. She's very open, and I think that is something that people that is that draws people to Sydney, that she is open and she you know, it seems like you don't care about how people perceive you in those situations because you're like, this is what it is. Yeah, but.
Let let's get into it right. So, like I obviously Marie had to sit down with me and intervention. I am obviously too friendly and I make friends with people.
But what Marie, go ahead, go ahead, Sidney.
And she was like, Sidney, you have to stop, like you just I don't know if I can deal with this anymore because it's the ASPCA. You got strays everywhere, and I like, I do care about what you think and like other close friends.
Think of me.
But also I know what it is to feel like shunned or like not cool or people don't want to be friendly with me, and so I just like I like having interactions with people and people feeling like, oh, we're we're cool, they feel safe.
They Oh you want you want people to feel like they're friends with.
You, Yes, without necessarily having to.
Be friends with me. But you will give your phone number to a stray dog.
Okay, Sydney, we actually do need to talk about this. Your phone number is on your Instagram account.
Your phone number is on your Instagram account. I don't see it.
I don't it is in your Instagram account. Someone messaged me like two weeks ago and was like, in the same vein of what we're talking about, Yeah, there is a button call Sidney Washington and it is your phone number.
Oh well let me okay, so let me how do I get that out?
Honestly, it don't matter because Sydney is giving her phone number to people who come to comedy shows. Sidney's giving her phone number to people who are like, oh, I love uh you know you on Instagram or I love your podcast. Sidney is giving her number to people she does not know, who know more about her than she knows about them, and so they already have the number.
So I think it does speak very highly of you that you're very approachable and you're very nice and friendly. But I think that we need to.
I took it off.
Okay, great, that's.
Like somebody going up to Beyonce, and I am definitely comparing myself to Beyonce in this situation. Somebody coming up.
To Beyonce and saying, Oh, I love you so much, I would love to cook for you in my house, or and then Beyonce shows up, or oh girl, like.
I'm a big fan, and Beyonce is like, okay, well call me sometime. We had a nice little conversation tonight, Like that's not how it works, especially somebody in our professions. The more we do, the more visible we are, and now everybody has access to you. You won't let these stranger dangers into your house.
No, no, I I have to work on it, and I have. I've heard you sist you you have been heard, and I mean no, really.
Wish that you would be specific about this example, which is why I told you that you needed to stop with this. But I don't know if you you want to get into that.
No, it's just it's just me at shows. It's it's me at shows, it's me. It's me everywhere. I have to I have to. I just don't think anything of my phone number and I'm like, oh yeah, sure, like but it.
Makes no sise. We were out and somebody, one of these people may or may not have offered ketamine to people that we know, and it was like, who is this person? And everybody was like, oh, that that's Sydney's friend.
No, and on paper that's Sydney's friend, but you don't know anything about that person.
But they're they're in your space. They're they're they're taking up space with people that you do know, and that's what you want to be affiliated way.
Uh, you're right, your I I have to work on it. It's it's hard. I like, I think, in the back of my head, I see myself in these other people, Like I just I just was not cool for not saying that these people aren't cool. But I wanted to be. I wanted to be accepted. I wanted people to be nice to me. I wanted like and now I just didn't get that for so long until I don't know, one day it clicked in, people were like, oh my god,
Sidney's Sidney's cool, Sidney's hot, Sidney's funny. And then you know, I was just able to make friends anywhere and everywhere I went, but in the back of my head and I felt like I was always trying to like have these people accept me, like prove myself.
You know. Okay, So two things here. One, I also was not cool not running around doing what you're doing. I'm not doing anything remotely close to what you're doing. A lot of the people, a lot of us went
to school and were not cool. A lot of us grew up and became who we are and became, you know, this adult, grown up version of ourselves that like, you know, we have taste based on what we want and what we like, not based on what people are gonna other people are gonna have on other people are gonna like. So that I wasn't cool thing. I heard it. I've heard it, I've heard it all before. It don't matter.
But then you said you want to be nice. You can still be nice to somebody and be smart about it, Like you can beat nice and not give somebody your phone number. You can be nice and not be like yeah, come we get in dinner, come with us to give food. Like, you can be nice and still keep your distance.
Yeah, be nice, keep your distance.
Be nice and back up. Like yeah, okay, nice to meet you.
Like, be nice and backup. I like that too. That's a good title.
Okay, Yeah, Andrew, what do you think about them? Wasn't cool and being nice?
Okay? So I think two things. I think that you know Sidney first and foremost, I think, if this is your toxic trait to have, I think this is a perfectly okay, justifiable toxic trait. People have much worse toxic traits than being too friendly.
Yes, it is a toxic trait of mine.
But I think it's like at the end of the day, like being too nice, that's okay. However, I think Marie, what you're saying about like, Okay, we exist and like if we were that I'm.
Saying we both weren't cool, but we're not approaching not ye out in public the same way socially, right.
But I think that like Sydney's allowed to approach her adult self differently now that she's responding to the situation.
Andrews, I'm telling you, is they missing ears the tail is clipped. Sydney is picking up people, and I'm like, Sidney, we live in a very crazy time and people are you don't ever know who you're talking to when you're talking to them. And I've seen The Bodyguard and I've watched too much lor on sv you. I've watched too much Lifetime to just welcome any and everybody into my space. Specifically, I'm talking to people who are listening right now. People be like, Oh, I love you on Instagram, I love
you on this I saw you here. I mean I was on an app today. This guy was like, is the knitting factory coming back? Y'all are freaking hilarious. People recognize me or people think they know me, and that for me gives me pause. Anybody who feels like they know me, I already don't really like you because I don't know anything about you right So for me, it's like a safety thing. You you're if you're calling yourself a fan of mine, then I don't really want to
be friends with you. Like we can, you can come support and I'll chit chat. We can take pictures, but like we not go hang out after.
I think I don't live my life in fear because I don't.
I don't.
I used to go. I've I've been roofed before. I used to go to the clubs by myself. I've you know, I've taken drugs from strangers. I've done so much that like, I just don't live my life like somebody is out to hurt me and kill me and doesn't have my best interests. Like obviously that all those things are true, but I also look at myself and say, hey, I can feel vibes when I feel like unsafe, and I go off of that.
But Sidney, when's the last time you felt unsafe? Because when I see you, you you're sitting on the stranger's laps. No, but if you're lying, I just feel like you get real comfortable real quick. You're taking your shoes off at somebody's house. You fall asleep on the couch in the middle of the party, Like that's what you real comfortable. So in that sense, I think really lying, I'm lying. When's the last time you.
Should take your shoes off at somebody's house? You should be it should be a shoes off situation you should never have.
In Sidney, We've been in plenty of dirt plenty of a dirty white person place for you to have been having your shoes on and they kicked off on them next to the west down couch. So okay, Sidney, I will say this then, Yeah, if you don't live your life in fear, you are definitely braver than me, one hundred braver than me, because I am terrified every time I go outside. I'm like, oh somebody might might could do something to me.
So yes, A yeah, I love that, but I get I can't recognize people come up to me and they like it's the people who don't come up to me. Those are the people that I'm scared of. Those were the people that I think are plotting, the people who.
Are like, hey, what's going Like?
I think that they're just like fans, Hey, oh my god, I love your work, you know, like.
What what?
Andrew? What what?
Wait? You're saying you're scared of the people that don't come up to you. Yeah, so like that you're passing people on the street, Like are you afraid of just them? Or who are you saying here that aren't aren't approaching you?
Like sometimes I could just be like walking late at night and somebody city, what are you walking?
Wait, so late at night you walk into an uber from across the next question, next caller, wait, no, no, no.
And also you would rather that person in the middle of the night approach you and be like, hey, love the pod or what would you You would feel safer in that situation.
Guys, the people, the people who are listening.
I love how you know over zealous you are about the pod and knowing us and coming to the shows. I love that we need that, we need. I want people to ride for us. I want to have a hive. I think I don't want to ever make people feel weird about being obsessed with us. We're fucking dope. We put out great content and we are not making people feel bad.
Hold on, hold on, I put no over zealous. Hold on. I just need to look up the word over zealous because I feel like that's not what I want. Okay, I want people to come to the shows. You see us, come say hi. I love that. I love that. I agree with Sydney on that. But hanging out with me after the show, that's the difference. Sydney wants to hang out with these people, and it's very eminem stand moment, It's very dear slim. I meant to you know, I called you. I just drank a bit. That's what That's
what I feel. So you saying I want y'all to be excited about us. I love that you come talk to us on the street. Yes, be excited, but don't follow me to where I'm going. This is this is where this is where the tour roads diverge. Sis and I. I was walking down the street once and it was nighttime, and this guy was on the street and when I passed him, he spoke to me, and I was like ew and like he was like, he's like, oh, how you doing tonight? And I was like I'm fine, and
I like sped up a little bit. And then he mentioned something about my beef with Azalea Banks, and I was like, oh, a friend. And then I slowed down. But also I slow down because he was gay. Like I don't need no straight men talking to me at nighttime. Yeah, whether you know me or not. But uh, then he was gay, so gay for me is safe. But I'm still not giving you my phone number. I understand what y'all saying. I get it. I heard it. Y'all.
Y'all are making a lot of sense. But I'm also like I enjoy the fandom, and it's it's like, oh, sometimes we don't know who we're reaching, and everybody who comes up to us are hot and so sweet. Yeah, everybody's a little off.
Yeah, we're all off.
Okay, if first of all, if you're starting a podcast, you're strange, and if you're listening to a podcast, you're so strange. Yeah, so we're both in the same motherfucking boat. All right, period.
Period.
We went to San Francis. We went to San Francisco, and the people were waiting outside in the cold for an hour from us, Sidney.
That's because we're good at what we do. Period. Right on the other side of that sentence, all those people that came to see us in San Francisco, I was not texting them later like thanks for coming out. Let me know where I should get something to eat tomorrow. Like it was just like, you see us for a moment, We have a good night, we share a nice night together,
and then everyone goes about their their day. You collecting, you just collecting friends like pokemon and and I'm saying friends, but these people are You're not friends with these people. You're not friends with them. Sidney, you have more actual friends than anybody that I know, and you talk to those people all day long. So these other people's numbers that you're collecting, you just taking them just to take up space on your iPhone sys. Your eye cloud gotta
be full. But by now, yeah, you paying for extra y cloud storage.
M hm, I am, but yeah, no, you're right for people that you don't know, girl, I'm yeah, I'm I definitely got some things to work through. You're not wrong, But I think that you both.
Can learn something from each other.
I think that, come on, Andrew, you better mediate.
Sydney might be too receptive, and then you, Marie, I think you're not receptive enough. Potentially.
I don't think that though. When people approach me on the street or people approach me after a show, I always engage with them. We have a conversation now if they get too comfortable and they start to maybe like like, I had somebody to come up to me the other day and was like, don't act like I don't know you, Marie. And I had to tell her you don't you don't know me, and like her face was like she was taken aback a little bit. But you listen, to me for an hour a week, maybe an hour and twenty
five if we feeling funny. But you don't know me, you know my viewpoint on certain things. You see me do stand up a couple of times, but like that doesn't mean that we're friends. It doesn't mean that like we've ever interacted before this moment, you know. So I think boundaries are important boundaries, and I think that ultimately, anybody who's ever met me from this podcast or from my YouTube or from Instagram, if they told me that they recognized me from any of those places, I was
nice to them. No, they didn't talk to me before that. I might have been mean, but that's because my mother told me not to talk to strangers. Right, there's valid.
There's nothing wrong with that. I mean, you know, I I we did we did our the solo show last Friday, and you know, I was very emotional, and you know, I'm I'm working on myself and working on my childhood story. And I feel like people know me a little bit better after watching it. And I will be a little bit friendlier after that show, because that's such a like vulnerable show.
I might pass my number out. I don't know. I'm just.
That's Andrew.
Yeah, don't pass your number out. I mean, like now it's not even on the Instagram anymore.
But yeah, I.
Should have been getting more calls. I should have been getting more call my phone. Don't be blowing up.
Oh my god, Sidney, Yes, your phone is always blowing up. It literally rings at least twice when we do this podcast every week, and then Carolyn will come down on break and be like, what's happening? So your phone is always ringing?
Right?
Update. I just want you to let you all know about our good, good gal Molly. I did hire her as an assistant and I used her for my solo show and she got me a videographer and she was there early and she helped me put up things for the back of the stage. She got me water, she got me Red Bull, she did the slide show.
She did.
She was a good assistant.
Uh no, don't do that. I did the slide show.
You did the slide show. But she like helped me. Okay, okay, oh wow, like.
I did about.
No, no, like as if I would like not catch it.
No, no, no, that's how I wasn't saying it like that, Andrew. I was saying Okay, whoa Okay, good, good to know.
Okay, So give us the rest of the Maley update. You give us a performance review for her sis.
I think she wants to learn. She wants to she. I spoke to her. I told her, I said, hey, you were doing too much on the pod. I know you're trying to be funny, but like, we don't know you like that. The audience don't know you.
Is it funny? Okay? Well what else you know? She was trying to be funny on the podcast? I said, it wasn't funny. The people were not laughing, they were not entertained. They were not entertained.
And she, you know, it was a it was a small pill to swallow, but it was a learning experience and everybody deserves to learn and maybe, you know, get another chance. And I'm happy with the work that she's currently doing.
So are you paying her? Is there a stipend? Yes?
I paid her. I paid her for her work. You know, we're going to be doing an hourly thing. She's actually going away. She won't she won't be here for until September.
Oh wow, started a job and is going to be going for two months.
Very very very black of her. I love that she's she's a part of the fam.
Now it's giving niggardly interesting. Yeah, okay, so she's going to be doing work. You said, what's this hour thing that you're doing.
So whenever I have, whenever I say yes to shows or whatever, I'm just gonna be forwarding her things and she's going to send me Google invites. So it's in my calendar because I just won't put it in my calendar. If people need me to send in stuff, I'm gonna be like, here's her email. She knows my schedules. She'll tell you what I'm available for.
Oh wow, okay, Sydney, this is very exciting. Yeah, I'm a tiny bit jealous. Now I really want an assistant even more. But I don't want that one. Okay, oh yeah, I don't want I would love I would love a straight white man assistant. So if you're listening to this, please please go ahead and phone call Sidney the number that you see on her Instagram and she'll get you me. Lol.
Yeah, Oh my god. She's very helpful. Andrew helps whenever he cans, and uh, you know, I always am thankful for the assistance that I can get whenever I can can Mmm, I have no I have no problem asking for help. I think it is foolish and silly to think that you could do everything by yourself. It's no, there's no need, there's people to help.
I don't.
I can't. I really can't. In my part of my life and my career. I can't be overwhelmed the way that I get overwhelmed. I can't do it anymore. It just it's debilitating.
M debilitating mm hmmm mm hmm. Oh man, everybody's calling today.
Everybody's calling today. Sorry, I apologize. Is that one of your fans, No, it's my girlfriend. It's my girlfriend. She called.
It's you know, it makes sense. I mean your girlfriend listens to the podcast. Yeah, and she doesn't know that you record the podcast on Wednesdays.
Uh no, No, I like, you know, I should tell her that and be like, maybe you have your assistant message your girlfriend let her know that you're unavailable Wednesdays at noon.
Okay.
Yeah, And so again I just want to say, you know, shout out to Molly for coming through and doing what she needed to do. And she read all of y'all comments, and you know, stay tuned because everybody deserves, you know, some compliments, some nice words said their way.
You says stay tuned, like you've got to bring Molly back for a partner.
No, no, should we have a partner?
Look at me, and Andrews faces. We don't need your assistant to come back on the podcast. To believe that she's a good assistant. You could just give us weekly updates. And honestly, Sidney, every time you FaceTime me and it's your face and you're alive, I'm like, oh, Molly's doing a great job.
Okay, yeah, she's doing fantastic.
You know.
Also, I want to speak to the people who are leaving their comments. You know, the internet is mean. The internet is mean. The people just will write anything like a human being is not reading.
What you're saying. What did they say that was so bad?
Someone of stuff was just like it was rude. It was downright rude. And if I'm twenty one reading comments from the internet.
It's mean.
You could you could say that you don't trust somebody without like bringing them down all the way like.
No, I will I will say this. I was thinking about that too. I was like, some of these comments are like as a twenty one year old I would be hurt by this. It was mean really affect my day. However, However, the fact that she was bold and brash enough to do this podcast, she understood the ramifications of coming onto this podcast yep. And so I think that, you know, that's just like the way it goes.
I think that you have nobody to blame but yourself if people are if you, if you're increasing your own visibility in that way. We didn't, we didn't We didn't force her to do the podcast. We didn't tell her to put herself out there. Ask somebody who claims to listen to the unofficial expert, which people were questioning in the comments, rightfully, So as somebody who claims to listen to the podcast, you should you already see what type of commentary the people are giving on a regular basis.
So I don't know that was I need y'all to have that same energy when we post episodes period. The way y'all came out of left field, I didn't even know we could get to that many comments on the fucking post.
No straight up and down, straight up and down, sitting no no, no, no no, no, said don't act like you did, not just say you love an over zealous fan, I love.
An overze They do that in person, but they don't. They don't be giving this energy on the socials. I'll tell you that much. If everybody who wrote a comment about Molly actually reposted the pod and told people about us, I think we didn't be doing We have a lot more rating Toney, just saying, just.
Sitting I hear what you're saying, but I think you mad at the wrong people.
I'm not mad at the wrong people. I'm just I'm making a valid point. It's like, when it's time to be negative, everybody would real d but when it's time to there's so many good episodes that we have that we have never had this many interactions with ever. So I'm I'm I'm not wrong for putting out a valid point, Manrew.
I think the listeners were also concerned for your well being as well. I think that that was coming across that there were that they were coming out of the woodwork.
People were seeing red flags and they commented on the red flags. Yeah, every comment was not a negative comment. Yes, it was like one hundred and thirty comments or whatever the hell it is, but the vast majority of those comments were not mean. They're not mean spirited, they weren't nasty. No one was calling her a bitch. Nobody was like this dumb ass, ugly ass, young ass beach. People were
just like, you know, she didn't know about Seminaryaki. That was a whole thread about some Saraokia on the post. They're like interacting with each other. So I don't know, I don't I don't like how you're talking to our support, our overzealous supporters. Definitely don't like how you're talking to your friends about your friends on.
The podcast, and so you're only agreeing with him because that's how you felt. If they were saying otherwise, you would be like, it's.
Not I'm not saying. If you go back and look at the comments that I've liked, I liked good and bad. I liked ones that were like, yeah, give Molly the job, it's gonna shake things up in there. Those were There were plenty of comments like that, and then there are other people who are like, mm mmmm, it's given, it's given, ticky ticky boom. I liked some of those as well. But I'm just saying that you're you're you're telling people that they were being mean and the internet is blah
bla blah blah blah. The internet is can definitely be a mean place. People feel very bold behind a computer or a phone screen, and they'll say things that they wouldn't say in real life. But also, Molly put her herself out there. She jumped on this platform. She knew what it was. She thought she was gonna be funnier, she thought she was gonna be more relatable. I guess, I don't know, but that's not what came across. And people called her on it.
And also take that to the Bank, Molly, that you had a lot of people talking about your hour as well, you know, Bank, like, yeah, well.
We're talking about her right now. She used to be one of y'all.
Okay, yeah, Shed.
And it doesn't matter if they had positive or negative reviews. Let me tell you that what they all agreed on is Andrew needed a raise.
Like everybody loved Andrew.
There were there were a few mean comments towards me scattered throughout, but really there were a few that there were that it seemed like I was being protective of my position with you both.
Well, sir, you're the producer, so I mean she Molly wasn't gonna take your job.
So I'm just saying, I'm just saying, nah, not a blanket term. Not all the comments were were fully for me, but I do this.
Is what I'm saying. All the comments were not anything. Yeah, all of the comment it was. It wasn't all one thing or all another thing. They were kind of all over the place. But the general consensus was, yeah, let Sydney work with her first, and if she's still alive in three months, then you could bring her on as a team. And I said I liked those. I thumbs up to those. I said, I penned those. Hilarity.
Wait, do we have any We have some emails, I know, but I didn't.
Read them before. I don't. I don't like to read them without reading them first. Damn.
Do you not want them?
Then?
Huh? Well, I mean said some the other day that we we didn't get to. But let me look.
This one's really long.
Yeah if it's too long? So many words?
Mmmm? Is it the one about ghosting? Okay, I'll just read it. I'll read it real. Oh no, it's so long. Oh wow, Oh okay, but she included a bunch of photos. Oh okay, Wow, Okay, here, so I'll read the ghosting one ready. Okay, yeah, yeah, Hey Sidney, Marie and Andrew Boo boo boo, Amali in parenthesies. No, she's not here. Longtime listener here looking for some insight advice on a
perfect date that somehow went wrong. Please include music from Snapped in the background, okay, like you know, or Twilight Zone music. Before I jump in, here's a little info on me. I'm a twenty four year old bisexual woman living in Toronto and have written into the show before, oh, regarding having my first one night stand in January and being choked in a white man's basement Sydney. This is the one that we were talking about in San Francisco.
Oh my gosh, let's goh.
He repeat.
Yeah.
I don't know what episode you guys got to go back to to hear her story, but that's a repeat. It was on a Patreon too, the one we did a video I love Okay, so gorgeous. Great to see you again, Bange. How you doing girl? Yes, I'm still out here making questionable decisions. Ever since that first one night stand, I entered a little bit of a whole phase and would do my thing, go on dates or sleep with them, et cetera, and with someone and probably
ghost them afterwards. I'm not proud of it, but like sometimes, the dick was trash and I really didn't want to associate it with them. No more. We love her, yarroh, we love it. Okay. Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I haven't been on a date or even seen anyone in a while. Shout out to COVID until I met this girl. Okay, lean in, lean In. We started talking for a little bit and found out we had a lot in common and the chemistry was instantly great. We met up and even went on low key picnic in
the park and really enjoyed ourselves. Oh okay, wow making out Okay. After that date, we talked every day until we made plans to meet up a week later. This time, we went to a busy part of the city, got drinks, food, spent our day together. She even surprised me buying me a plant as a gift.
Huh, that's something that I would do. Yes, keep going, Oh, that is something you would do.
Absolutely. We were very flirty and very close. It was clear she was into me, and I was making it clear that I was into her too. Okay, the cities was out, Uh did She didn't say that things got weird when the date was winding down. Nothing changed between us. We're still cracking jokes and being cute and shit, until suddenly it stopped. She got really quiet and a bit distance, but I chalked it up to being out in the sun too long and smoking a little weed and didn't
think too much of it. She walks me home. I invite her up to my apartment. I thought it was my chance to finally pull a move, but instant this girl spends the whole time.
My cat, my actual cat, not my possess. And when she ends up.
Leaving to go back home, she literally gave me the cold shoulder. I'm talking about the one armed hug situation.
Oh come on, Marie, The barely.
Making eye contact kind of goodbye, the little awkward wave and head nod as she walks away without looking back. You gotta do to look back, just to see if they're looking at you. You know WHOA. That was the last time I heard from her. It's been a week since and we haven't talked once. I'm genuinely at a loss because I'm not sure what went wrong. I went over the whole day in my head and thought maybe I said something or I did something weird or offensive,
but I couldn't think of anything. We really hit it off and had a good time smiles and good vibes. As an expert in ghosting, I know sometimes you just don't feel it anymore but and cut contact for whatever reason. But I honestly thought we were vibing and meshing really well. I've never been ghosted before. Everybody at the same time. Oh so maybe this is karma finally catching up to me. Is this a sign for me to stop ghosting? What
advice can you give me? I'm pretty bummed things didn't work out, but more so curious as to what reasons she would have. It really seemed like it was going well as usual. Here's some pics of me so you can get a full visual. Let me see.
Oh she's cute, God, Oh she's hot.
I like here she is with some pasta.
Okay, now a question, y'all are hanging out or whatever? Is she pain all time? Are y'all going Dutch?
Like?
Cause that that kid? Like we hanging out too many times? And I'm putting my car down. I can feel some double way. I'm like, m I don't know.
She said she bought her a plant as a gift. They were very flirty. Things got weird when the date was winding down. Nothing changed, we were still cracking jokes and and it just she suddenly just got quiet. Did she get a text from an ex? No, she must have got a message or something that made her that put her in her own head or something right right.
Maybe, but still like, I don't know. If we just started talking and having a I'd be like, can you believe this nigga just text me? Like I would have casually mentioned it. I like, we're not We're not serious, Like we're just we've been hanging out. It's not if there's no reason to not be honest when there's nothing really at stake.
Y'all are in the beginning. Okay, so I understand what you're saying. But maybe this is maybe if somebody she'd been with for a while, maybe it was the person that she just broke up with. If that person messages you, I don't know if I'm necessarily on a date gonna say can you believe this man just texted me? Because then I'm talking about then I'm talking about my old
relationship on a first, second, third day. Like, there's a time and place I think to talk about people you used to talk to based on how you feel about them too.
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, but I just listen. Guys, y'all have got to fucking grow up. If, like, just if you don't want to deal with somebody anymore, just give them the goodbye. Like, hey, I thought I wanted like to date you, or I was looking forward
to blah blah blah, but my mind changed. I'm not in a place that just give somebody an ending so they don't have to fucking go in their head over and over and over and try to figure out what the fuck happened, right, Just say hey, I like, I'm good, I'm sorry things didn't work out, and send them on their way.
It's especially especially if it's the person. If the person was nice, nice, Yeah, it's a nice person, there's no reason to ghost them, like it's for me, honestly, truly, it's easy to just tell them the truth. Yeah, it's easier to be like, hey, you know, maybe the reason is, hey, I think I jumped into this too soon, I'm all ready. We'll hit them with the Yeah, you know, I'm not
really feeling it. The vibes weren't there for me, two things that I've said to two different men, So yeah, I'm not really feeling the vibes or you know, just yeah, I thought that I was ready for this, but I guess I'm not, or you know, I'll be in touch and then actually be in touch.
It's just like we went through a whole fucking pandemic, like the worst of the worst has happened. The least you can do is give somebody a closing like, hey, I'm not I'm not really feeling this. You think it hurts to tell somebody I'm not into you, but it actually hurts more when you give them no answer at all, because they're just gonna be thinking about, like, what did they do wrong?
I think that, Yara, something that you could have done differently and should do differently next time. Is what's wrong?
Yeah, Like, if it goes from hot to cold to be like is everything good?
And I'm inviting you to the house and you playing with my cat put out my cat, I'm gonna be like, hey, are you okay? And then see how they respond because something definitely happened. Yeah, something I definitely went down.
Something, something went down. She I don't know, y'all. You gotta let us know what's she paying?
What's she paying? What were you wearing? Did you call somebody? Was a slur used? Like what happened in Toronto that day?
Something happened, Something definitely happened.
Did she sneeze and you didn't say? Let you like, girl, what happened?
But if you're not feeling it, and then I still come up to your place, I mean, what could it have been happened? What possibly has happened with me? Is like I just want to see your place, like I want to check it.
Okay, cool? Yeah, I'm inviting you to my house. If you're if we're on a date and I'm inviting you to my house, then you know what it is and you know what it ain't. Granted. When we get to my house, I can change my mind. Maybe you can get shoes off, and I'm like, ill, the sock, that's the socks? Yeah, film the socks or I don't know. Maybe I'm in my house and the vibes are off, I'm gonna ask you to leave. But why are you coming up to my house if you don't, if you
don't want to even acknowledge me in my home. Yeah, that's the weird thing.
That's that's the thing that I'm like, you don't have to come up to somebody's house and fuck, but you definitely can't come up to somebody's house and be acting all like distant giving me church ladyhook. Yeah, that's weird. That's disrespectful. And you could take your ass home. You can always take your ass home. You don't have to do anything. You could if you're in a bad mood or the vibes are, you can go home, sweetie, go home, sweetye. I like that title as well, go home, sweet home sweetie.
I mean she worked her home. She a plan.
That feels like a good day to me.
I mean, yeah, up until it got weird.
It's also been like a full month since this email from Yara, so I'm wondering if there's been any updates since.
Yeah, Yara, if you're listening, please please.
But also she didn't mention I think this might go without saying, but this like barely making eye contact goodbye that they had. She said that that was the last she heard from her, and it's been a week and they haven't talked once. But Yara didn't mention if she's tried reaching out. Yeah, did she ever say.
That, I don't be in here your babe, sweetie?
Follow up?
Please give us the Please give us a follow up on this, because I think that sometimes for our peace of mind, it's easier to just ask, hey, is everything okay? Like I thought things were cool? What happened? And then give them a chance to see if they're even gonna be honest with you. They're gonna lie. But sometimes you sometimes you just don't get closure from these things. You're not guaranteed closure with every single person that you do with. No, No, you don't have to get closure.
But if you're listening to this podcast, you're not always gonna get closure. But I think it's it's okay to give someone closure. Don't feel like, oh, I don't have to do anything like I Sometimes I want to end things so that we don't have to discuss this. No mo, So there's no back and forth, right if you if you let somebody know, el fiend, this is the end, then if they hit you back up, that's on them. You know, it's a power move to be honest. It's a power move to end things and be like I'm
I'm all set on this. But it's also a power thing. When you don't give someone a reason and you have them guessing, that's it's a power thing. But I think that's a toxic.
It's also a cowardly thing too. Though it's easy to just say, hey, I don't really like you like that, or you know what, when you smiled at me, the sun bounced off your tooth and hit me in the eye and I didn't like that, Like give me a reason or just like, like to be a woman, ghosting another woman feels like a little bit of a hate crime. It is a hate crime like this, I get a tamp on that one time, Like what do you girl?
You have my hair tie in your hair right now, and then you're gonna ghost me.
Beach, I gave you a scrunchy when you needed it the most, and you're not gonna tell me what happened. Yeah, yeah, I mean just say that for the men. But even then, like it's easier to just be honest, just in all aspects of life. I think it's just easier to tell the truth than it is to lie or omit things, because sometimes you be forgetting your lies or sometimes you sit there and you're like, well, why did I what happened with that?
Her?
Damn?
And if you want us to do the legwork, just send us her email. You got her number, I'll text her, I'll call her. Yeah, I'll call her.
And we still yeah what Yeah, I don't.
I don't have any problem with checking in and being like, yo, what's really good?
Nah?
I mean you you ghosted my good siss a month ago?
What happened? What happened was yeah, message Mali at assistant, Mali at assistant do yeah.
Imagine if she emails that would be funny, though, that would be fun.
I feel like I used to ghost people, but I don't do that anymore. What was her reasoning? I didn't really like them to begin with, so okay, that's real or you know sometimes they like sometimes they'll say the wrong thing. But like also when I say used to ghost, I don't do that anymore. Like it's just easier, especially if a dude is persistent and like, you know, we've spent more than just one time together, then it's it's just easier to tell a nice person, hey, I'm not
really feeling this. Yeah, you know, the person's not mean, they didn't do anything bad to you, Like tell them the truth.
It's annoying to be shut down, But like y'all got to also be able to take these ls too, Like if somebody's like, I'm not into you, like, okay, just take it, like, don't fight it, because that also is what makes people not want to be honest. You're like me because you're like, oh, what can I do? You know, I just know they don't like you. It's okay, Yeah, well what can I do? You got to change your face? Yeah,
I hate the you were sweet? Yeah, your pasture is terrible, terrible, it's given terodaptyal beak, it's not straight.
Yeah, I don't know. I think it's just easier for me as a grown up now because what happens when you guys are out that now that outside is open, you out when you bump into this person in the wild.
Yeah, now now it's awkward.
Because your ass couldn't couldn't say what you needed to say to me. Yeah, and I'm gonna roll up on you if I got enough to kill it in my sisters, Well that's what I remember when I want to die. Yeah, I'm gonna fight, well, not me. If I see somebody. If somebody shows me that they're not interested in me, then I obviously that person is dead to me. May they rest in peace. If I see you out in public, I'm gonna be looking good.
My friends will always all without a doubt, without a doubt, all the.
More reason to not go outside in a bonnet, because you gotta be looking amazing, just.
To say somebody who ghosted you was there. That's one thing that we're gonna do. We're gonna we're gonna pull up and it's gonna look.
Good, right good. We're gonna be late, but we're gonna look good.
Oh yeah, that's a great thing. I'm probably could have been in the same room with somebody I used to have sex with, but I came so late that they left already. I missed the window to see them exactly.
And you know what, who is that, God, God, universe? Yeah, well, I think we did what we needed to do. We did.
Oh my God, so proud of us. We haven't had a solo in a minute. So that was cute. Thank you friends, and idless I was as well. I was as well sprise. So you know, after hearing everything that we say, you know, just comment more, bitch, comment more if you like. We just there was no drama here, so you know what I mean? If you have, you want to say one.
Hundred and forty one hundred and I want to see one hundred comments under this post, even when we boasted.
Not asking, not not asking for too much? Y'all, just one hundred and forty comments.
Talk amongst yourselves, poor. But also we want to hear about your last your last ghosting experience. Have you been ghosted? Have you ghosted somebody? Yeah? Tell us why and give us a little synopsis.
Yeah, I want to know when your last ghost and why. And then hopefully the person who you ghosted is also listening to the pot and they can see in a thread. If it's the reason why, we can all get some closure in the comments. Closure in the comments. Look at that in the comment, closure in the comments.
Like that? That works? Man? If you're Casper, then you know tell us why you be disapparented. H you want to lamb you on a run? Okay, gorgeous rad comment subscribe and delete citys phone number if you have.
It, shut up number if you have.
No text it right. I love you guys, Forever Dog. This has been a Forever Dog production.
The Unofficial Expert is Executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Scilio and Alex Ramsey. Senior producer Tracy Soren, Produced by Andrew McGuire.
Cover art by Sandy Hoenigg.
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