Bulletproof Bodycon

Forever.

All right, we're here, we are, we are here in the virtual studes, and one of us is going through it and the other one isn't.

Which is which? Andrew looking at us right now, in which one of us is not well?

Sydney has a cup of like broth in her hand that she has to drink with this vegan diet that she's working on. So I imagine that you're the one going through it, Sydney.

Are you going through it? I am?

I have to drink a gallon of water a day, and there's these this broth that's got garlic and any and everything else that you should have as a seasoning and not as a liquid.

To just drink, not as a beverage. So it's blended.

It is blended, and it's and it's hot like like tea, and it's a it's a kidney flush, a liver flush or something like that flush your system.

Have you ever done a cleanse before? Friend? Oh?

The only cleanse that I do is on my face. That's about it, kay, hash taxaph.

I use a cleanser. Don't know about a clean son. Go ahead and use the Unofficial Expert as your coupon code. Sydney City. That's the most la thing I've ever heard. I can't believe you're moving to la and leaving me here cleanseless.

First of all, Marie, you you two will be by coastal and we'll all live together.

No, we won't live together. Yes, you guys are gonna move to bell Air and I'm gonna be the first prince when my overall clipped on one side, and I'm gonna be like, oh my god, imagine JoJo's uncle Phil.

That would be a that would honestly be a funny ass show and I would love to see it. It's like Fresh Prince of bel Air meets Three's Company.

You know, I've never seen Three's Company. Was there a baby on that Three's Company?

No, there was a couple and there's like two friends, two girls and a guy.

And this show was black and white in my mind, Three's Company.

No, it.

Came on after I Love Lucy. Yes, don't you do that, Marie?

No?

What channel did three is Company? Play? One? I don't remember channels, so no, I don't.

I don't know, but I have like TV Land in my mind.

Yes, tv Land Bewitched. It came on between Bewitched and I dream of Genie. That's in my head. That's when I feel like it came on. So Sidney's doing a cleanse and Andrew still wearing his glasses.

I'm still wearing my glasses. It's fully allergy season, and so like my eyes are just acting up.

You know, it's so bad. It really is bad. Like I feel like it looks like I'm an alcoholic. My eyes will be so red, like bloodshot. It look like a lab rat. And I'm just tearing up. It's like I never even had cocaine.

That strong that would make me look as bad as I've been looking in the streets.

Eyes.

Yeah, like after you sniff it, like it goes through your system and your eyes get you know, bigger, and you like veins come out.

You look crazy. Have you ever seen somebody on coke? It's not them like that, like they're they just be like sweaty and sometimes their jaws moving a little wild a while. With this hat on, I look like a young Barack Obama. I gotta take it off. Uh. I bought two new wigs this weekend. I would show you, guys, can we see? I would show you, but they're too far. One is first of all, I have to stop going to the beauty supply store high and that now you

You have to go to the one that's remember by uh, you know, my old the old place that I used to live Sidney.

I'm not getting on a I'm not jumping in an uber to go to a far away beauty supply store so I could take videos and or go live.

I just walked ACROSL. I'm already sweating. This ship is terrible.

Take your up off, and by your top, I mean you're a wig. Take it off. It'll cool you down tremendously.

Okay, So you're not going live in a beauty salon, so a beauty shop, so they don't want you taking pictures?

What else? Wait?

Why don't they want you taking pictures?

I don't know, but you know they also don't like when you take pictures at Sephora as well. Oh I didn't know that. I'm always taking pictures in Sephora, I know, but I remember, uh, I want to say the one on Broadway, like me in Soho. I was in there like taking pictures of like the colors of the display and they were like, oh, this is please, no photos

It's like they don't trust us enough to come to an establishment and not make fun of it, or take pictures and show other people like, yo, don't come here because they shit is trash, that's what. That's why they don't like if you go to Sephora, right, they have specific lighting to make you think that the stuff looks good.

Then you get out in regular daylight.

And bitch that that foundation is nowhere near the color of your neck exactly, that this stuff that's on your eyebrows do like it's they trick us. I hate the lighting in department stores and make up places like Sephora, yeah, because they have like warm life and cool light, and it's like, well.

Where's the outside light, where's the street light, where's the regular I'm sitting in my mom's kitchen and she's judging all of my life choices. Light. Where is that light in the Saphora? But that's why I always put my phone on.

I was like, let me see and they're like, here's a mirror, and I was like, no, no, no, no, I need to see my phone because that's when you can really get into it.

Yeah, it is a very soft glam light. And then you set department stores whenever you try stuff one at like in a Zara fitting room, you always look. You be like, oh my god, look how fick I look? How good this looks against my skin tone? And then you get home and you're like, why did I buy this? Look like I look like Dug Funny H and M. H and M. I hope you're listening. They are. You should be ashamed of yourself. The amount of cellu light that I can see, and those fucking those overhead lights.

Because they you know, man, they take pictures from underneath. They chin they like they're barely lit.

They don't care.

Overhead lighting was absolutely made by Satan himself.

Oh okay, I see me by your name.

Yeah, I could see every single dit in my thigh.

At H and M. At we canceled H and M after that cutest monkey in the jungle t shirt saga. So you shouldn't even you still at H and M.

Sys No, But I'm just telling you, like when I did go to H and M, I could see all of the cellul.

Like, well, that's what H and M is all about. It's called it's honesty. Honesty In months months, months, I can't think of an m thing, But you know what I mean, honest monsters. They want you to see what you really look like. And you're a monster, babe. So I don't like it. And Andrew, are you googling coolest monkeling monkey in the Jungle?

Yes, I didn't know about this. This is awful.

Yeah, Andrew, welcome to twenty eighteen or whatever.

I'm late.

Yeah, what is that fiasco? Yeah?

That was twenty eight You're right on the money.

Has hashtag never forget.

Someone someone told them, someone made them think that that was the look.

Well, for those of y'all who were born after twenty eighteen and listening, H and M put a small black child in a sweater that said coolest Monkey in the Jungle and then they blasted it on their website and maybe in the store, and people were like, why is the little boy?

Where?

Why's the black child wearing the monkey shirt? And H and M was like, cause he's cool.

And.

They were and no, you could tell nobody on the team was black, because they were like, I'm sorry, because of history, we will not be equated to anything having a monkey or a gorilla or apes or any of that sort.

No, we cannot. We just it's a strong no. And then people were writing they were like, well, where's his parents? Why did they let him do that? Da da da da da? His parents? His mother speak out about it.

Yeah, I think I'm seeing something here for that.

Yeah, what did the mother say? Let's give us the follow up.

In the twenty twenty one Okay, mother of boy and h and M's Close Monkey says get over it. She said Terry Mango and her son featured in the controversial AH and m Ad.

She said, get over it. Is he adopted. His mother looked like.

She said that people calling it racially insensitive need to get over it. This is his mother.

Oh, she had already kept Yeah, she needed the coin. She said, she needed the coin. She's his manager, his mammager, and she gives twenty percent of that Coolest Monkey hoodie sales.

Uh, Marie, how do you feel about making choices based on finances and not because your heart is in it? How do you feel about that doing things for the money? Yeah, I think it depends on what the thing is.

Right. If you are desperate for money and you got kids at home to feed and stuff, and you're at the end of your rope, you're gonna do something different than somebody who you know is bored. You know, I think that I think that bored people, bored people create, they have to find stuff to do. Right. If I'm I don't know why, Sidney, why are you asking me this question? What you're doing over there?

Oh girl, you already know where we've been. You know where we've been through, what we've been through, and what we do. I mean, sometimes I look at things and I'm like, I can't believe I said yes to this, But I was like at the time, I was.

Like, well, the money works.

And there are so many times where I'm just like, if I made things based off if I really want to do it and how this is gelling with what I want my career to look like, I probably.

Wouldn't have done it. Yeah, But I think when you start your career out get any actor, anybody who's famous, anybody who is an entertainer and is successful right now or working their way up to being successful when they first start out, the pickings is slims is you gotta say yes to stuff just so you can get the exposure, the experience, and like get your foot in the door.

Yeah, But but I think that that's what people have to think about. Like, you know, I was watching Denzel Washington was speaking at Fordham University, and he was saying that if you don't fail, you're not even trying. So it's like you have to in order to get to where you need to be. You have to make mistakes and fail and learn. And you can't do any of that if you're always like, oh, no, I'm not gonna do that, or yeah, that's just not gonna work.

But you know what I mean about it, it makes sense, right. I mean, the libra in me, the perfectionist in me, doesn't want anybody to see what I'm working on until I'm done with it or until I feel like it's perfect. But then I'm looking at what other people are sharing and putting out into the world, and a lot of it is some of it is trash, but they do it consistently and gradually their stuff gets better. And if you're not used to failing, ever imagine this, you've never

Well, my issue is it's like, Okay, you put stuff out there and everybody is I mean, the people who follow you normally are the ones that's gonna be like praising you.

There'll be like some randoms are like this is this is unacceptable blah blah.

But for the most people, most part, the people who follow you are gonna love it because they love your brand. But then there's my issue with the internet. Is that people who don't love you can just write whatever, can repost and be like this is the bullshit that this is the reason.

Why black women or are not where there's supposed to be.

Like I I remember doing that viral video for the dildo hoverboard and and it just it honestly, it ruined my my belief in like just doing stuff for fun.

So you would not have done that if they asked you to do that, knowing what you know now, would you still have said yes? I don't know, Marie, I don't know that. The comments were pretty rough, they were not nice, But that's the thing about comments on social

Yeah, I mean, listen, when it comes to shit that you're like, I thought this was a look.

At the time, people were like, yeah, this.

Is cool, but now where we are in twenty twenty one, it's a no go.

So, you know, trends changed, Things change.

I was just talking to some friends last night about a video that was on BuzzFeed and it was like questions black people asked other black people. And at the time, the person who put it together thought it was a brilliant idea.

Well, what were some of the questions? Friend? Oh friend?

Why do why do we eat black chick? Why do we eat fried chicken? Why why is five minutes turn into twenty minutes?

It's just chicken because it's good. But also no, no, I like, it was just the most stereotypical coon shit that like the people involved, like them asked the questions Medea, like, I'm confused, that's too, like where the questions came from. It has over two million views and uh, it was the video that set everything off for BuzzFeed and black people not to work together. Oh people. People were highly

But it's not about that, yeah, but it's also like, my cat eye is so perfect. Why the fuck were you looking? Why were you zooming in in the back?

You know? The bitch like right right, But maybe they zoomed into your pupils and they looked at the reflection of yourself in you, you know what I mean. Like, people are crazy people. People will say anything and do anything, and people have like burner accounts. That's that's what the real problem is. People are going they're trolling from the fake account that they set up because they can't stand

In santro Pei. Why don't I just mind my fucking business. Listen, if you're going to actually use your burner account to write underneath someone's page negative shit, get help, get help, go to therapy, maybe get some meds. It's that's wrong. It's like I can never see myself. I think things all the time and it never reached my fingertips.

Never hit the keys. They never hit the keys. But that's because you are a public facing person. Yeah, you say the wrong thing under the wrong post at the wrong time. Yeah, people are going to bombarge your page with you know what I mean, Like people are just

And Maria's saying that because let's get into it. Are good friend viral sensation on Instagram? I mean, jeez, Louise Murray, the girlies were loving what you had to say about the police, and it was beautiful. I mean I was truly, I was proud. I was like, that's that's my friend. She is so funny and informative, and yeah, that's why I work with her, you.

Know, for she's funny and informative. He's a library book beach. I mean, girl had she has thousands, thousands.

Of followers you're really close to.

Sorry, sorry, sorry, it was excited her friend went viral.

And you got sorry.

I'm sorry, Yeah, I mean I did that, but uh we bought that up because what just so you're saying that people who like that, there's also people who love you.

Yeah. Yeah, And all the comments have been good. I mean, for that video, I haven't gotten a single negative comment. But also What can you say negative about it? Nothing? There's nothing negative.

I mean there were all valid things about like jobs that are stressful. I was like anybody who works at TGI Fridays, I mean that is that is a place that if I'm surprised that somebody has not shot up that TGI, I'm I'm truly. When I used to work at Dinosaur Barbecue, I'm I'm surprised that no one was murdered because either orders were wrong, because people would come in with a group of fifteen.

Are you fucking mad?

Why are you coming randomly pulling up somewhere a group of fifteen, and now you've waited two hours. You waited two hours for the seat because we said, oh well, we probably have a table open in two hours.

Now you're back. Now you're back, and you're hungry. Girl. Now your mouth is back to the microphone. Sorry, you excited about Dinosaur Barbecue. That's the guest sitting You're drinking a gallon of water. That's wow, your pea is going to be so clear. Now, no more chicken ramen noodle pea for you.

I just want you to know that my pea was never chicken noodle soup. Never Campbells. It was not it was not a Campbell's. It was you know, it was it was more neon, like like a red glow.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't know why I can't hold on to any of the things that you're saying right now. I didn't even smoke, I am. I've just been drinking green tea and water today and my brain is not holding onto any of the things that you're saying. Maybe I'm just not hitting today. I was thinking about other stressful jobs and like being a sex worker or a stripper, it is a stressful job. I've never heard of a stripper shooting anybody or like anything like that. Imagine you're

I saw a video of a girl was doing some crazy pole work, pole work from like the Gods. It's like it's it's like God was in her body helping her twirl around that pole, I.

Mean the stummach. Since she was doing would I would? Yeah.

It made me want to go in my purse that had no dollars, and it made me want to walk to the ATM and then pull out the ATM that also has no dollars. But it made me want to give money. This woman is working. I mean the club is packed, okay, And usually when they get down to the ground, after they crawl all the way up and they slide all the way down, right, some fucking drug dealer or wrapper is throwing money and it's like whoa, you know, a volcano of twenties or fives or whatever ones?

Do you know? Do you know? She got down and I think I counted.

I felt like it was a good fifty dollars. It was only fifty dollars.

That like was why does she work in the early shift? Was it a Tuesday?

I don't know, girl, it was It made me in the comments they were like, I want to go to that club and slap everybody the nerve this woman was what she was on the pole, the music Summer Walker was playing, it was. It was so outstanding. It was art, not only in an artful way, but a sexualized art.

I was. I was wet. I wanted to give this woman money and.

All these broke ass people watching gave nothing that would make me go to my locker do up. You know the Players Club when uh, when Diamond when she had the dollar and she when she had the gun and shot it to.

The stealing everybody, get the fuck out the room. That's what the That's what the hell I would have done. Guys, that is your assign that's your assignment for this week. You have to watch the Players Club, hm on whatever you stream your stuff on the Players Club with Jamie Fox, Bernie mad and Lisa Ray formerly the wife of the president of Turks and Kegos something though like something like that. Yeah, I think teated on her with her sister or something

Okay, well we first of all, there's some listeners who are not well endowed and we don't want.

I'm not talking about those listeners. I'm talking about the person who wanted to be humiliated by me on Snap today. I'm laughing. I'm sending laughing emojis. It's turning him on. I was like, is this the entry point of my career as a dominatrix? Because it was feeling fantastic.

You know, I'm not You didn't get paid or anything for the.

Me paid for it on Snap today. I was just doing it, you know, because it's my first time.

M hm.

Yeah, but Marie there, you can make money. You can make money for that.

I need you guys to see what four inches is.

Okay, girl, get out of here. We know what four inches is. I wear heels that are four inches. That's a kitten hill.

Yep, there's a kitten hill.

He said you would dig like kitten dick soft was a kitten heel. Okay.

There was a girl in my dorm in college that there like she met with a guy on Tinder who wanted to be kicked in the knots repeatedly, and she she was paid like a couple hundred dollars to do this, like for for like just to like sign this man in to the dorm as a guest, you know, come up to the room literally until he was like in so much pain and then left.

And I just can't even like was he even her cash or was he Venmo in her? Because I need the people.

Need it was cash? This was before Venmo.

Yeahah, And which feels better like when I can have when I can have the money in my hand, it.

Feels like I actually got paid. Actually I want to. I want to be counting the money while I'm kicking you in Yes, yeah, yeah.

Well there's I mean, this is crazy because I actually sent it to Mandy and she had the girl on anyway. But speaking of making fun of men and getting money for it, there's a there's a girl that you know, the pay pigs, the financial dominatrix.

Yeah.

I mean, listen, girl, I think you could really get into it. I think you're holding back what you're really good at.

Listen. This guy's his name is Troy. Troy asked me to send him a picture of my feet and I was like, no, I can't. I need to get my toes done, you know, hoping that he was gonna be like, I'll send you money. He didn't say that, but I feel like we go we don't figure something out.

There's an article on the New York Times and it's this girl. Her name is Mistress Marley. She gets paid just to humiliate her fans, the high price hustle of financial domination, where pay pigs send tributes to their cash masters.

I'm telling you we we had Karen Fihan, we had our what was she our expert in I don't remember what she was. She was in an open relationship, but yeah, she was at the She's said about pay pigs on that episode, and that was like the very beginning of us doing this podcast. Somebody tagged us in that article on Twitter.

Yeah, so that's what I'm saying, Marie, let's discuss I think we could really get into it. I mean, obviously I would be in the the back room. I would, you know, make sure that I'm your security and make sure that.

Something you want security, that you're set up. How are you going Kevin Costner for me? Yeah? Girl, Yeah, this we're a team. Would you take a beige? Would you take a beige man's bullet for me? Sis? I would.

I would have to wear I would have to ask the designer to make a whole bulletproof like vest of course, like body thing, body con situation, a bulletproof leg Yeah, bullet a bulletproof body con is another good title as well.

That is a great title. Actually, yeah, yeah, but yeah. I being on mind you. He added me on Snap yesterday last night, and then I went to sleep, and when I woke up this morning, we were having this conversation while the sun was up, and it was like it was I don't know if infigurating is the right word, but I did feel very powerful. And then I went on Tender back on Tender, and this guy was just like, hiriy, good morning, And I was like, why are you here? He was like why are you here? Can I make

Right?

He's this new dude. He's talking about jazz music. He's like, yeah, you know, I really like And I was like, I can't go from Microsoft microscopic, peen human to talking about jazz. That's not what I'm here. That's no longer why I'm on tender. I'm here to roast you and make you feel bad until you feel good because it makes me feel good.

And I feel good when my friend feels good. So I'm here to support whatever you know, self care, my good Marie Foston needs.

Now listen this girl, mistress Marley. She was in Tulu, Mexico for her twenty seventh birthday, and she was with her friends getting lobsters and going all off. And then whenever she needed money, she would go and she would go and talk to these pay pigs and they would send her money on cash app. Yeah, so that's what that's that's the Goldvin friend.

I think I want to get into this because the way my body has been looking, I think I could get into it. I have gained thirteen pounds, thirteen pounds, thirteen pounds, Marie, where you're gaining thirteen pounds?

Girl?

My ass? My my mid section? I mean I sent didn't I send you the picture of me like I am thick?

It is crazy.

I like, I know that I look like I look small, but when I have my clothes off, is the thanks are thanging?

Thangs is stanging. Yeah, the thangs is thanging. If I gained thirteen pounds, I don't think it would go to my butt. I don't know where it would go, but I don't think it would go to my butt. It's in my legs too. It's like it's it's in my back. It's it's all. And that's why we're doing this Vegan Clinton. So you know, I just been and you look good. The thirteen pounds looks good on you, friends, but you do need to eat healthier. So that's why you should do a clan Andrew thoughts.

I am. I'm also getting like thick for the first time.

Oh no, paper blades, No one, paper blades, stand up and make them. Let's see.

No, I'm talking about like love hand it's I love handles.

M Yeah, I have that. I have that too, And I'm just like, and do you I mean to send you a picture of.

Your love Handley, I mean, you posted that picture the other day of you laying down. Body looks right thick.

So all I do is eat grab ragoons. I said, all right, let me run to the store half a dozen ragoons. God a case of a case of imitation. Crab ragoons, not even real crab. They sell that at Costco. Can I get that like a twenty four bag? Marie.

We need your body for when we want to take like pictures.

So no, what do we want to take pictures? Yeah?

Like I love when I'm next to you and you're just the abs are popping off. I love it, and your shoulders are great. It makes it makes me feel like it's mine as well. So that's why I'm like, Marie, we can't. We will not touch your body.

My body. It can be, you know, a recycling bin, but yours absolutely, Sidney, your body's not allowed to be a recycling bin. You are in Los Angeles, babe, Okay, you're gonna do a nude scene. You're gonna book something and they're gonna ask you to do a nude scene. You're gonna do it. I don't know, Marie.

I was, I was talking to what's your name about it, and uh, I mean, would you do it?

I mean you have the body. It depends on the scene. I think it depends on the scene, like, and it depends on the series. Like if you remember the beginning of Game of Thrones, that first season, all we ever saw was denarious but naked having sex and we never see the men's dicks, never see we see women's full nudity.

Everything the areo I could, I mean, the how the four K camera was. I could literally see every little dot and bump and lump on people's titties.

We were in Game of Throw Dragons, mother of Dragon's uterus for the whole first couple of seasons. Then as the show got bigger and she became a star, they renegotiated contracts and it was like, I'm not doing this no more, y'all not gonna You could see a whisper of side titty, but that's it. She changed it. Yes, she she's you know, she's a star. She was able to renegotiate her stuff after a couple of seasons. Or you can be with nudity like Reggie, our good friend

We loved his SpongeBob square pants. It was so cute.

Yeah, I don't know, I think, but I think I would feel weird about it because I would want everybody to watch this. Guys, I'm on this new this new series, or guys, I'm in this movie and then all my friends will come watch it and I'm butt naked and people are like, ahass, oh mo naked finally, and I'd be like ew, like I don't want everybody to see

I mean, it just it just took you so long for me to even just to see the side of your nipples, So like, yeah, I wouldn't want I wouldn't want you to show your body either.

You know, Sydney, every time you see me naked or you see a piece of my body, it gives to catch your predator vibes to me. So you you real, you real? Oh wow, let me see you. Sydney will be on FaceTime cities out, but her hair will be wrapped, and it's like, so you're telling me I have to cover the kouchie if I'm covering my hair, Like what the hell? If you If the hair is covered, then the body should be covered. The body's not covered. Let the hair be free is what you're saying.

You never listen, you never been button naked but naked in a bonnet.

But naked in a bond it merch and you're just trying to say, like, you've never been but naked in a bonnet. And then she looked at.

It in Barbados.

Yeah, naked in a bonnie in Barbados with your friend Brandon. That's a great that. Oh, I love that. I love that. Honestly, it's a key chaining at least. No naked in a do rag maybe, But I don't know, Sidney. I just what I was doing today with Troy was very entertaining for.

Me, invigorating, and that's why I said, this is the business now, and I I would love to like get in on this as well, so you would be there.

Or you would be like running the books like you would be I would. I want to set the rate.

I also I want to negotiate times, because you know, once these pay pigs get involved, they want you all the time, and you're like, no, no, no, no no, that's not how it works.

It's when when I want money. But that's the cool thing about being a dom is you got to talk to them how you want to talk to them and they just have to listen to you. And people think that you're mean, which is not true.

But I think that you can have this persona as this mean person and then you could be like, ah, this is for work.

Yeah, it's only gonna make me a better person. It really is. If I get paid to be mean, then I'm gonna have to be nice when I'm not getting paid because exactly I'm not in the office. Babe, out of the office, do not disturb. Yeah, when you're off duty. Hmm, she's an angel girl, your mind off duty, booty. Thank you Sidney for another. Okay, but let's talk about what

You know, you're already famous, Marie, You're already famous.

G List life on the g List, You're.

Already famous, and you just gotta I mean, the person that I'm with right now famous upset obsessed with me? You said famous, but I said obsessed with me? And they you know, they saw all my work.

It's out there, so like that's what they saw. Dil do have a board. They didn't see that. That's that's in the vault. I'm gonna text it to her. I'm gonna text it to her rat now right now, and so you can't.

It's this is just what it is. People, are gonna be. They're gonna see what you do and they're gonna love it.

I know, but I don't know. I don't. I was thinking about the last night. I don't. I don't love that.

Why girl, you're funny and you're great and your stuff is amazing.

People are gonna love I know. But the guy that I went on a date with a couple weeks ago messaged me. He texted me this weekend and it was one of the jokes, Like, he texted me one of the jokes in the set, and I he knew, he knows that I'm a stand up, but I had never sent him anything. I never even told him what my last name was so he couldn't google me. And he was like, oh, you're really funny. I popped up on my Instagram timeline and I was like it, just like,

Yeah, like, would you want stuff out there and then nobody talk about it?

What do you want? Figure it out? I just don't want them to talk to me about it.

Okay, Marie, You're not making any sense. And I'm gonna say I hear you, and I don't think you.

Hear me, Sidney, I hear you. I'm saying that I like the like knowing that people are watching me in the abstract. But when somebody that I know or somebody who has access to me is telling me that they're watching my stuff, it's like, I'm like, ah, is it okay? Was it funny? Did I look like? It's just I don't know. I guess I gotta get over it, because you know, I'm gonna be all my woopy Goldberg soon soon.

So I don't know if you guys are listening, but anything that I am doing, please I beg of you.

Tell me how amazing it is if you if you are interested in me and you like my work in content, please slide in my DMS and tell me how amazing it is reposted to. I am unlike my good friend, my good sister Marie.

If you are interested in me, and you watch my stuff, please slide into my DMS and I will gladly say thank you and be like I'm taking so please shoot.

Your shot, Shoot your shot. I love that, speaking of shooting their shots were getting We have some listener photos that y'all slid into the inbox, and I just wanted to fucking gorgeous describe some of the sexiness that we've received recently. So we have a huge fan in Singapore. Okay, I love that word into Nacio Nal. I love that for us, mister worldwide. She said, Hi, Marie and Sidney, I want to thank you so much for giving me great content to listen to. I absolutely, I absolutely love

The hair is looking healthy. I don't see where is she. I don't see her.

Well, siss, you must not check your email. She's giving us colors, she's giving looks. The smile is radiant. I love I love that when I say our listeners are super attractive, and y'all prove me right, because I've never I've yet to see an ugly unofficial expert. Oh bitch, she is stunning and she's.

Tall, Sydney, you got her away from the Sorry girl, you are so tall and hot.

I'm into it. She looks good. That's my type, Nigga, that's my type. That's my type. She's giving us corduroy blazer and yellow. I love it. I love how hot she is.

Everybody, if you don't mind, girl, I think we're gonna repost.

I think we're gonna be like.

I don't know her Instagram, but I'm like, girl is flaming. Her name is Nsia ooh, and I even love the name.

Oh n okay. And then the other one that we wanted to touch on today. First of all, hold on, Sidney, looking at Nisia's photo, what give me? What do you think about? You know, what do you think she's doing in Singapore? What kind of person does you do you think she's attracted to? Let's chat about her her look? Okay it she can go three ways. She could be into girls, and if she is into girls, she wants a slim fim butch I see it, Okay.

If I see her with a woman randomly, I feel like she could be with a beige woman.

She's in Singapore. It's yeah, maybe she's in Singapore, so the woman is bage. She wouldn't be Asian.

Uh for some reason, I just find her linking up with somebody who's also doing the same thing that she's.

Doing, which is what teaching English abroad. What do you think she's doing in Singapore? I don't know. She might be doing something in fashion because she's real done up. She's but it's also that first photo is giving museum curador vibes. It's giving I put these photos here in this order. I don't know.

But she also she could also work at like some like boutique designer, uh, you know store.

I don't know. The second photo is giving. Maybe she's in Singapore doing architecture or something. It's giving business. It's giving does art, but like business, yes, art business, you know what. It's the shoes. It's the shoes that's making me feel like maybe she's not in a like a boutique. She might be doing real real hat girl, shit girl, because the toes are out.

It's not a pipcho, it's not a piecho, So it's not it's not business business.

The whole oh is out. I could see the pinky. I know Sydney zoomed in all the time. You know, I did you foot fetish beach. Okay, okay, let's go to the next photo. Andrew any uh interjections about Nicia.

I think she's hot. I mean I've always said the same thing. It's like, there's like not a bad looking listener, not one for us.

You know you are, you are what you eat or whatever the hell the saying is. We're hot, So our listeners are hot. That's what I'm saying. And then the second photo that we want to talk about today is from the UK. Are you Are you listening?

UK? And Singapore?

UK and Singapore one of my favorite with a U favor et podcasts. I look forward to it every week. I feel like I'm hanging out with my shady older cousins when I'm listening. Okay, well we'll just call this old, but you are a shady older cousin, baby. This is Aaron. Aaron is given real septum piercing and also moisturized edges and hair, beautiful skin, beautiful skin, giving me tall, tall, tall, tall body. Short fingers. He's giving me short fingers, So yours are closest to the camera.

So yeah, the fingers are short, the dick is long. I know that the dick is long. I could I can tell.

Are short, the dick is tall.

Okay, that's a great title as well. I'm on fire today.

I don't know. Maybe it's the cleanse, it's that soup cup. Yeah, maybe it's all the water. It's that you want right now, that's what it is. Aaron looks very hot, the skin looks good. Everything either, the fingernails are clean. I'm here for it. Please guys, sit and sen sen I we this is so fun. I m oh actually included their Instagram handle for more. Okay, okay, well she's a cocky beach. Well let me let me.

I'm gonna go on the unofficial expert page and friend this person because Aaron we love and you deserve. And let's see if Aaron is already following us, because I love.

The safety they are. Okay, okay, wow Aaron j h m hmm, I don't see. Oh I found him? I found him? Oh wow. Right, it's giving. It's giving like a like the page is very like artie.

Yeah, model model right is giving our director on the side. Yeah he I mean looks like he could also live in Brooklyn. Like he's really giving me what I need with a half of half down hair.

Oh, a dual rag moment. You know, I'm here for that always. I mean, look back at it. I mean, we definitely gotta. We gotta hang with Aaron when we're in the UK.

Yeah, I Marie, we have to go to the UK. I think we have a lot of fans there, to be honest, I'm not gonna lie.

I think we do. And I had fun when I was in London. It was the weather was nice. I got there. I was lucky, I think because the day that I left and started pouring, because you know famously the weather. It's trash in the UK. But I think we should go to the UK, Sydney. Yes, let's go to London and get our you know, and ride that little double decker ugly bus.

Oh, I'm here for it, Marie. Did your hair grow back on your coop?

Yet? It's going back? It's so thin and sin and sparse. Are you upset about that? I don't know. I'm like looking at it and it's just like you gotta put your pussy away. That was crossing a line. Sidney pussy, Sidney, put your Pussy Away is a great title, Sidney. That was crossing a line that it was you gotta stop putting your pussy on the podcast. Look at Andrew's face.

Do you want to do you want to get through the titles?

No? No, bulletproof body cock bulletproof body con is the winner. Well, Andrew, please read the rest of the titles, just so the listeners can get.

A white gaze uh spelled with the G A z e beij.

Oh beige lens that should be in the description.

He sent it. Flaccid was one bulletproof body cont is going to the title the up.

I believe he sent it flaccid hilarious.

Butt naked and a bonnet and Barbados.

Yo, the merch, Honey, the merch, Sydney. I'm not doing this with you because I can't believe you put I'm still really the microphone string was in the way, so I thought there was like a braid hanging down girls flies. He's wearing aer.

And then you have off duty booty and short fingers, long dick.

Oh, short fingers, long dick. That's going on a tote bag. Yeah, just for errand for running errands, running air. This is killing me. Oh man, I'm crying. I'm done with this podcast. I'm not doing this with y'all know more. Okay, Well, that good thing. We are already at an hour, bitch, so we can head on out.

Ew.

Somebody just sent me another message or Tinder whether should you be interested in getting a meeting to get acquainted drink or dinner? Please text me? It's like, no, dude, do you want to what they look like? Can we see a picture?

It sounds like a copy and paste message.

Um, it sounds like an older man. It is an older it's an older beige man. His profile says he's sixty. Marie, do it for the story. Do it for the story. This is what he looks like, Marie. I beg you to do it for the story. Please. Shati shak ti shok ti, Marie, I bet I will. How much money do I we have to pay you for you to do it for the story. Oh well, Sydney, you said you was gonna set the right sis, So let's talk about the rate. One hundred dollars for you to go

Wait, wait when this episode comes out, can you guys Venmo herr will Venmo us one hundred?

Venmo me one hundred dollars because I'm about to Venmo her one hundred dollars. Oh my god, everyone needs to Yeahvemo and this is whatever your currency is. If you and London send us send Venmo one hundred. I'm sending Marie. I'm sending Marie. I'm sending her one hundred dollars right now.

So I would hope that you guys would look me up on Venmo and send me back this hundred dollars.

Because we're doing it for the story. Here you go, here, Marie, God, Sidney, I'm here. You go. You're venmoing me one hundred dollars for emotional duress for Senior Cooch in the day. Please and you're facing the window, so it was well lit for the story. Okay, so let well lit. Sidney just sent me all of her unemployment money for the week. Sidney, you gotta stop.

Wait, can is there anybody who's claiming unemployment? Can y'all slide in my damns, because I have actually we have a story. We have something we need to talk about on the Patreon because I might be going to jail and we have to talk about it.

Sidney might be going to jail.

You're going to record from prison.

Yeah, I told her. I told her she has to sneak, uh, she has to sneak the microphone into jail, into her booty hole. And she said they're gonna do a cavity check. And I said, that's fine, Sidney. They can't always do a cavity search. Cavity check is great for people who think, you know, they think are smuggling things into jail. But like Martha Stewart didn't get cavity searched. Well, that's because she's a fucking famous. Sidney dropped her laptop. Oh my god,

The bud her face as it fell. Oh wait, she's back.

I was truly like surprised. Did it fall unless the screen closed? Yeah, it was like, whoop Meani leaks, I'm off the call. Wow. Anyway, friend, I think we did what we needed to do today. Is there anything you wanted to leave the listeners with for the week or the weekend as it starts to warm up out here? Uh? Yeah, I mean, I know people.

Are vaxed up and they're feeling free and they're hopping and bopping and dipping and twerking and popping, and but it's just like, be safe, really really be safe. I'm not just talking about COVID. I'm talking about STDs. Like, just because somebody's allegedly immune from you know, COVID nineteen, that don't mean they are immune from you know, triconomus, trickonomus, trigonometry.

Well wait, what STDs are like popular among lesbians?

Well, lesbian STDs exists.

I don't know, but I was talking to a few lesbians and they said that they go to the gynecologists and when they're like, yeah, I'm gay, they don't really they're not getting the rundown checking like straight bitches. Well because because men are the carriers of a lot of these STIs.

So women can get Yeah, but lesbians can get like UTIs and yeast infections and stuff like that.

Yeah HPV, Yeah, yeah they can, but it's just not it's not as common. I mean, usually, like when you're using a strap, it's going inside one person, and it's usually like clean before it's like going in, so there's not really transferring of It's not like I'm putting on the strap and then somebody and then I'm they're using it on me and I'm using it. It's that's not usually how it goes well. I mean, I can't say how it usually goes for me. But I'm just saying in general.

You said you can't say how it usually goes for you. After you just said how it goes for you, I'm just saying you just said, yeah, yo, Sidney, please hurry up and get back to Brooklyn so we can talk more free because somebody's house like, well, I can't say for me that well that that's not really my that's not what's happening here.

But I'm just saying that some people take and some people receive, so usually the thing that's going in is not being transferred into somebody else.

So got you. And then it's dishwasher safe so you can just wash it out, all right. So Dick is dirty and straps are clean. I love this for us. Dick is dirty, straps are clean. That's a great title, Marie.

Okay, but can you write down that we need to use these titles for you know, leisure?

Yes, save them?

Yeah?

Can you dirty? Shrap is clean? Can? Andrew? Can you take a picture of all the titles so we can post on the Instagram right right?

Please?

Actually that sounds great And then I'm gonna post it today and be like, guess what title we're using for Friday. I mean, we're really doing good on the solos, Marie. I'm I'm having a blast doing it. It's been a good time. It's like, do we ever need a guest again? I mean, people write in the the reviews that they're like, I love the solo episodes.

They don't even need a guest. They say it all the time, so mm hmmm hm. The guests are great there. We love the guests. Please everybody come come on the pod. But I mean me and my gal and Andrew.

Out the water gals, the gals and Andrew. We love it well. I feel like we did what we came out here to do today and I love that y'all are enjoying this because we like doing it. So please keep sending us money so that we can obviously start a bail Sydney out of jail for what did you say? I didn't.

I'm not saying why. Just know that there might be Orange is the new Sydney again, Sydney.

I was going to visit you in jail and I would stand behind that little window and I would pick up the phone and be like, how you doing this? I bought you some jet magazines or whatever the hell? Remember? Remember the drop the jaw Rule song what I Name Me? When you want me to put it on you? Come on? There's a music video of him? Baby?

Yeah, that's OK. Can we do that for Halloween? I'm jaw Rule and you? Why are you bringing this up? Is the correlation to what we're talking about right here?

Well?

Because there's the music video. He's in jail and the girl is coming to see him and they're they're talking amongst the glass and they're rapping as well.

You're gonna get arrested, so we can redo the videos.

What you're saying anyway, Marie, I love you and you too, Andrew, and so make sure everybody you know comment, subscribe, review, give me praise.

I need it.

If you're interested in me again, sliding my d MS and tell me I'm great, and so I could say that I'm taken.

Yes, this has been fabulous. God, I love you guys. By Fray my Forever Dog.

This has been a Forever Dog production. The Unofficial Expert is Executive produced by Brett Boham, Joe Silio and Alex Ramsey. Senior producer Tracy Soren, Produced by Andrew McGuire. Cover art by Sandy Hoenig. To listen to this podcast ad free, sign up for Foreverdog Plus at Foreverdog Podcasts dot com