A New Year With S&M

Hello, Hello, Welcome to the Unofficial expos Podcast.

Okay, Happy New Year, Happy New Year. Okay, this is already not going the way that I feel like it should be going. Happy New Year, Marie. We take this from the top. No, I think this is good, of course you do. Welcome to the Unofficial Expert Podcast with Sydney and her male friend Marie. I feel like I had gotten my voice back and now it's this again, but like it's like a light man voice. This is a voice that I know you as. This is truly your voice. Honestly, this I feel like this is also

Cis di desparation in math fucking kmar yo. Even even the salesperson was like, you want to leather gloves here?

I said, yeah, here. The people who work at Kmar don't even shop at Kmar. They said, h yeah. If you finding me in the in the garbage can near the bathroom, they were like, you know all Target is opened up in Manhattan. It's not that far from here, and you were like, I don't have time anyway. So Sasha, one of our friends through comedy, you know, he comes to see the shows. He supports us here and on

I'm quite jealous because I'm like, damn, why did I ask for a humanifier?

But I have one. I already have one.

I mean, I can't put no oils and shit in it, but it's a larger one for a larger room, and I'm very appreciative of it's I mean, it's not mine, it's Adrians.

But you know, okay, so Sidney, you are one of these, like it's I wanted two kids? I am? Why is that? Can we get into that? I am because you act like an only child, but I know that you're not. But I am an only child. I am.

I didn't grow up with my brother sister. They are eighteen nineteen years.

Older than Let's get into how your mom was hoeing for a cool twenty four hermona was getting down with the get down. She I don't know what happened, man, she I don't know. She's how old was she was? She had thirty something, thirty something, So she's like, your mom is like ninety now.

No, bitch, fuck you. My mother is, well, let's do the math. I think she's in Shut up, Marie we're not doing the freaking math.

Just know that she's older. Want to be in her early, don't you, dare y, don't you dare Your brother and sister are twenty years older than you and you're dude, and your mom was fifth thirty when she had them, so that's me fifty. She was thirty when she had you. Yeah, thirty something, so she was ten when she had your brother and sister. Now can we can we break this math down? Dude? That don't make no sense. I don't know. I don't think you know how old your mom was

I believe that she was thirty eight when she had me because I feel like she was done. She was tired when she had That's why I lived in California. I lived in California as soon as I was two. I was in California from two to thirteen. She didn't even really take care of me, no offense. Shout out to Ramona for doing her best.

If you want to be on the podcasts as the old mom expert, no, I mean where were We also expend that we've also sending the invitation to Janet Jackson because she's fifty. Yea, she had a Washin's son.

Yeah, you don't have to listen. You don't have to be a certain age to have a child.

Yes you do, actually, because your eggs dry up and they die. Oh my god, there's at Okay, all jokes aside. You think push it to the limit, you could be you could be seventy baby. Listen, push it to the limit, figure out, find out. People never know, you never know. You do know. You go through menopause, you can't have kids no more. That's science and god really sick. Janet had it when she was fifty, so there's hope. Yes, but you can't have a baby for your entire life. No, no, no,

I know, or your or your mom passes away before you even get to college. So actually people will get a GoFundMe together and get you, get you more money. So maybe it's better that.

That your mom died. Wow. What did you say about your mom last night on the phone that made me want to hang up on you? Went today? Oh oh, Sidney said, tell from what we're talking about, her mom turning up, her mom having men at the house. No I this, Sydney said, I can tell about the way

It's like it's almost like she didn't raise me. Well she did, she did, but I mean it's almost like she's not my mom, but she is.

I love you, Mom. I love you. If you listen to the podcast, I love you so much. If you listen to the podcast, please come on the podcast and come and be our church lady expert or something. Really lady who wear hats in the house expert.

No, actually, my mother's very free when she's home. She barely wears clothes.

Should be naked at that, that's an old lady move. Her mom is not in her sixties. Your mom is in her late eighties, mid to late eighties. Ah, people stay naked. Oh, they were that that extra large yo. I remember.

I remember in high school, Yo, I would always see my mother's titties.

I would be just like yo.

Honestly, Mom put on a bra and she's like, especially in the summertime, she's like, oh, I will not, I cannot, I will not.

Will you be that comfortable you think around your kids just titty like shirtless.

There's a part of me that's like, ill, that's nasty, And there's another part that it's like, it's just titties, but.

It sounds like most of the parts of you are what's saying that's nasty space because they were so long. I'm like, damn, Mom, roll those ships up. They're as long as jeans. I was like, dude, you know how like when you like pull the toilet paper and it's like I got to like reroll it and it's never quite rolled straight. That's what That's what she had to do that my mom's boobs.

But honestly, it taught me to just be free with your body and not make such a big deal. So whenever we were like changing in a locker room and stuff with the like my friends.

You just had your bush hole out.

Well I was flat chested, so honestly, it was like a back on back situation.

It was like said, turn around, all your lie you're looking right at me. Okay, I got it. Yeah, well that was pretty much the situation. But it just made me like free.

I mean, now that I'm where I'm at, you know, my boobs are faked, so I don't care, but I that's.

What I'm saying. You will be. You'll be at your kids dance recital with a see through blouse on like that's my daughter in the back because you know you can't whisper, so it's gonna be real loud and uh, you're gonna be on snap and your boobs are gonna be on your kids. You think I'm gonna make that kind of Yep, You're gonna be a cool mom. What y'all talking about listen, I would rather you guys smoke in the house. I would never be that mom. I would be the mom that's like, listen, whatever you do.

Yeah, yeah, diary, No diaries, No expressing your emotions too much.

That's a lie. That's not You're not any of those. You're gonna be like you go. Your kids are gonna wake up, you know how like kids will wake up and sleep in their parents' bed. They're gonna wake up and you're gonna be in their band. I just I just wanted to make sure, can we can we check it? That's you. That's so me. You won't be real annoying. Yeah.

Well, because like I said, I didn't grow up with my brother and sister. I was pretty much the only child forever. When I came back to New York, my mother adopted my niece.

So adopted your niece. She adopted my niece because it just likes having young people in her house. The older she gets.

It was the It was really a messy situation, but you know, I learned a lot.

I hated forever I hated her. I feel like you and your niees are the same age. She's like four years older. She's older than you, four years older than she's four years young. That is some hood people math right now, I don't know. I can't do the math. I can't. I don't know anybody's age, to be honest. That's why I know that your mom did not have you when she was thirty eight. You can't do math, and you don't know anybody's age. Your mom was a

No, I didn't have glasses, but I acted. I was one of those people didn't wear glasses. But it seemed like there was like invisible glasses, like them thick ass coke bottle glass.

But I've seen pictures of you as a kid. You had glasses. What happened? You lost them? And your mom was like, wow, I'm not going back to vision world. No, I said, fuck it, I'm not wearing them. I just didn't wear them. I was like, I'm not gonna wear this. This makes me look like a nerd. So when did you start wearing glasses in the fourth grade? And when did you stop in the fourth grade? So I woke.

It's so hard because I would have lost that chain, like immediately, I couldn't keep up with it.

You. Oh, my dad was like, you're gonna lose your glasses. What like people's glasses then't just fall off their face.

Yeah, you need them, they're on, but sometimes you could take them off and lose them.

I always just left them on. The doctor told me I needed them just to see the board and to drive. He thought it was funny because I was like, ten, are you to drive? Doctor humor? And my dad was like and my mom and dad were like, well, if you leave them on all the time, your eyes will get corrected faster. What happened to you? I just get lazy your eyes be like, oh, I'm just gonna go on break sis. I do have a mini door explore, uh lazy eye. When I look wet what is a

Of moves, like when one eye goes one direction, it doesn't go the same direction as I. So that's when I went I try to take pictures of me like looking up and like looking to the side. You can kind of see that my fucking eyes are not aligne.

Everybody pours the podcast and go and look at it a sick selfie. Ah, I don't do I.

Will not do the look because I can see that my fucking eye is not in the same direction.

I'll show you a picture and then you're feel like one lazy eye. I don't know. Honestly, I feel like both your eyes are pretty lazy. To be honest with you, I think so as well. My eyes don't do overtime. They don't clock in or clock out. They're just there. That'll make no sense any Thank you for getting to start on the right foot. I feel like we did. I mean, we talked about my mother not doing anal like first of all, and then Sidney try to anal

I didn't think he was gay, but I could tell the way we were joking he was taking that shit serious.

He really was. He really liked it. I kept saying that he had money.

I was like, he got marrols on and stuff, and he was like, oh, he didn't.

Make any money. Because we saw him leaving he had all his art supplies with like like blick blick or blink or whatever art supplies because he was getting up and somebody was like, oh, he's an artist. He ain't got no money. Somebody said that. I don't remember who I was talking to. Yes, dude, like the big like the Michaels for art people like people like he had like a Michael's bag or something like that. Well maybe he's like, you know, a big deal. No, no, no, no,

Now that is when it gets real lifetime channel or we're both on the train.

How do you know we are? Because I was sitting on the train when I got that text. It was twelve fifty.

You were not scared, Listen, I would have dropped everything.

I'm like, I'm getting off this train. No no, no, no, no no no. I was two stops away from my house. One two. I don't remember enough about his face to know who is it, what it was. So I'm on the train. I look it crazy because I'm like, yeah, I don't who is it? And then I said, how do you know I'm on the queue? He said, you said it at the show. No need to buy me a drink, I'll buy you one. I was like, oh, I'm on the train right now.

But the fact that he's remembering everything you said, that's scary to me because I don't even remember half the shit that you say because you always saying so much girl. I, first of all, shade.

Second, I also don't remember saying that at the show. I don't remember that either. I don't remember that. But when he said get you we're both on the queue. Let me get you a drink tonight, I was like, is he watching me right now? Boo? Right? That is sooo that is truly some lifetime movie stuff.

And you know what, but the cute thing is is that it's black and it's happening to you.

I don't see that in the movies. So this is like, you know, you got a little stalker, not a first of all, the stalker episode. I teach you nothing. What this Rashida's stalker episode. I mean, but Rashida's getting shoes and stuff. This is just you know, this is light. This is like the preliminaries of stalking. This is the qualifying round for stockh huh okay. So then he says, I was like, He's like, get off at the seventh avenue. Let me know when you're arriving. I'll be at the

A shriveled up cardigan. Well, let me not be mean, yes, he was wearing he was wearing a card again, the cardigan confidence that he has to think that you're gonna get off their.

Train as one am listen, listen, but listen to this. The way that he looks doesn't equal the way that he's talking to me. But that's how it wor that's not how it works.

No, it is because the good looking dudes, they're gonna be like, yo, you're gonna come to me. I'm not gonna say much. You know, you're gonna be pressed for me. But the guys who don't look good, they're they're the ones.

Yeah, and they like yea yea yea yea yea yea get jag is that I look too good for you to have my phone number? One? Well, you're very confident that, sis. I was this confident last year. They're real confident year New Year, Save me, I said. He said, good night, beautiful, I call you tomorrow. I didn't respond. Then he texted me yesterday Marie, let's be for drinks Friday night. And what time he text you? Yesterday? Nine fifty seven pm. I didn't respond.

Okay, Well, see, first of all, if you want to make plans, you gotta hit me midday, which you hit me late at night. I'm late at night, but two days in advance though, No, but it's still late at night. I might be missing your text you you work right, you're a comedian. My hours around I was at that business hours. He got nerve he do got nerve. Also, I got two shows on Friday night. I'm booked and busy booked, busy blessed me.

Right, So this morning twelve thirty four PM one two, three four, make a wish. I hope you're writing me an essay, but seriously, let me know by five or I'll ask another woman the audacity of this regular Well, rap it f D rap it, I said, D. I said, I waited, legit. Two minutes later responded, you know what, I'm good ask another woman. You got way too. I'm confident, but I feel like it's justified. Didn't rap it up?

Right, you're gonna say that on the podcast is absolutely you're deterring your future people.

I don't want to date anybody who listen to the podcast. That's a fact.

Because you know, if you are Marine's type, you should stop listening in one, two, three, stop listening now.

I hope you're writing me an essay. If I don't hear from you by five, I'm asking someone else.

He sounds like somebody who's like at least forty, he's crazy. That's a forty year old man. Look a cool forty. He's like, well, if you don't write me back, I'm gonna talk to another woman.

But I know he's old because he kept calling me. Who calls people that's rude? And he called you on a house on a house phone on the landline. He hit you with a rotary on. He got a rotary telephone. He's a seven one. His phone is two pieces, like the ear pa a piece and the mouthpiece and other piece. Hello, yes, operator, can you gotta be repofsing please? I got a telegram message coming through. He sent a carrier pigeon too my house, and I was like, ew, that rat got He sent

I would like some stalkers in twenty eighteen, that's stalkers. But I just want some over zealous fans, you know, somebody to just come through and be like.

Oh my god, I heard you were having like a crazy week. I brought you this, you know, bors Head sandwich with extra cheese, Like that's what I want. I want that sandwich also comes with a side of dicto. If it's a chick she wiped you know, she wiped the rye bread in her cat. You think she wiped it in her vagina and then she put it back. I just want some over zealous thing. I don't want

Eighteen boot in twenty eighteen, I don't see that happening.

You really, you know what I need? I need like a like a like a financie, a financier or a real estate muggle who's on the DL and just needs like a cool life. So you want you want to be somebody's purse. I want to be somebody's purse vers per first, you know what I mean, somebody exactly, I'll walk in before them, and then you know, like and that if it's a gay person, it don't even matter what they look like. Dude, just like a beautiful gay man, he's beautiful to somebody.

If he First of all, if you're with a beautiful man, I'm gonna assume that he don't really want you.

Wait, why I gotta okay, well break this. If I'm with a beautiful man, you assume you don't want me, because why why come? I'm just gonna assume that he wants you? Plus plus three? Okay? Well you plus three? Sis? Oh, I didn't even wait? What why would you say that to me? Oh? Look at that? Look at that. Listen. It's the year of the Yes, I might could do it. I think you could do it. You'd be like, long as I'm first, as long as you put your them in first. Yeah, I mean, I don't trust it all

I feel like this is the year that guys are finally recognizing that they ain't ship and they're leaning into the ship.

They're like, I'm gonna lean into it. Niggas is pulling, they digs out, uh lucy k touching, jerking trees and plants and whatnot. Dudes are gonna lean into that. They're like, let's do it. Dudes are leaning out of that. Do you think they're leaning.

No, no, no, no, no, no, I think that right now, it's hot, so they're like, Okay, we're gonna keep our attendants out. We're not gonna do no crazy shit right now. But as soon as it does settles, they're gonna be right back on.

They bullshit.

Men have been sexually harassing women for centuries. You think they're gonna stop now because there's some blogs out here, get.

The fuck out of here that I come on, now, come on now. Men have been.

Raping, cheating, stabbing, killing, doing all this, and you think they're gonna stop.

They can't stop, won't stop. I mean, listen, they're just gonna be a little bit smarter about pulling the dicks out exactly and inviting people to up to their hotel rooms for three am meeting. It's true, But ladies, we also have to be smart, right like whatever that whatever? Smart men, how badly do you want to go up to that hotel room and maybe get a dick on your forehead? No, this is what I'm saying.

Women need to work in pairs for I'm not that I'm like code dependent, but I always hit you up like, hey, you want to come here?

You want to come?

I know how crazy it is to go out in these streets by yourself, late late at night with these creeper jeeper streepers.

No way, jeeper. You gotta have a friend, and you gotta be known to.

Be like yo, that person got a best friend that's always around. She's probably coming, So I better have enough dick for both of that. I better have a hit on her forehead and then her forehad.

No but that person she always got a friend with her. I'm gonna just bring my dusty greasy No, no, no, no, no, let me tell you about rich dudes. Tell me about rich dudes, let me get my notebook.

Rich dudes with power, they don't want to share. They want to look like they got mad women around. They want to look like a boss. A dude that's like, let me bring my other dusty friend.

He don't want nothing. He don't want it. It's the one. No, he does want something. He's trying to bring a dusty friend to distract your friend. No no, no, no, no, he got somebody for your girl. So like y'all will go in your and he's like, all right, well, I god, you all about self?

Usis I was the friend that always went on these vacations with people and it would be one dude, one dude, seven girls.

He not fucking seven girls. It's just one girl he just wanted. But that's a different Okay, so that's a different level of man. Then we're not the dudes that I'm talking about, is like the good dudes that be like we going to the tailor.

Oh no, we're not thinking about those guys in twenty eighteen.

We're not thinking about I'm talking about dudes that like they'd be like, all right, well, if you bring your friend, I'm to bring my man with me. No, no, no, they talk about men in power. Okay, if a man is like, I'm bringing somebody else, he's like, I'm bringing my lawyer, I representative, Yeah, my rep is here. Uh the person who types shit out for people? What is it? What do you call them? A stenographer? My stenographers coming? Uh,

Be done, Marie, stick to this. You're gonna stick to this ship. Look I'm just comment. Look look what does look gay? What does look gay?

Like? Lips are like a little bit pursed, liter like really well manicured in the face like very well groomed. So you're saying, like the shirts the pictures be like shirtless, the butt be poked out, Like, I'm like, is this grinder? Am I on grinder? Right now? Marie? You're labeling men, You're putting them in a box.

I can first we get mad that they look dusty and they got terrible sneakers. Then we upset that they got peers like they lips is all pushed up.

And I'm like, listen, you want there was there's too many dudes with like glossy moist lips. When popping up on my phone.

First you are like, all these dudes is all ashy, they dry. Their whole life is part So I'm upset.

I've never said their whole life. That sounds like a you comment. That's not a me comment. Okay, so it'd be so let me show you something, Okay, So this James flashpoint lead lead engineer. Okay, so this is this? The photo quality be terrible. That's a decent quality photo. But yeah, filter on nothing, as is engineer in midtown probably watch more Bravo than you. What does that mean you watch more Bravo than me? Is that not something like a gay man does? No?

You know what happened? His little sister is doing his bumble for him. She was like, oh, let me write something funny and quirky.

Look, that's a swipe, And I didn't know which way to swipe for no, so I was swiping the wrong way for a long time. Okay, we're just gonna swipe.

No write that, he's somebody else wrote that for him. Here, I watch you than you.

Matthew thirty nine. He works at Merrill Lynch. He's the vice president. He went at Cornell University. Okay in two thousand, right, Okay, look at him all right? Look at this glasses on outside? Okay, yeah, yeah, his angles are terrible. All recent photos six foot one. Because the thing that I appreciate about this app is people tell you how tall they are because they already know you won't ask them, but they can also what l I E. Okay, but look but look at this?

It's cool and it looks like he shop said and Marnie exchange though.

Okay, since it says Merrily Lynch, I'm just gonna hit like, Okay, cool, cool, cool. But it's just I'm looking at it's a lot of people kissing dogs on the mouth. It's a lot of uh like, It's just it's interesting. It's wasting my battery. I'm gonna go on ten dates and then I'm gonna delete that ten dates. I just want to tell you. From waitressing for a long time.

With these apps, these dudes, people think, oh, I'm gonna go out, I'm gonna get dinner, I'm gonna get drinks.

They be lining, they ship up.

They're like, I'm gonna be thirty minutes here, then I'm gonna do forty five here.

That's what I'm trying to do. Dude. Yeah, but I'm like, that's not a fucking date. That's speed dating on your own terms. And it's just like, but am I paying real question? Okay, it's what you want in thirty minutes with him, I'm I'm double stacking my dates too. I had this dude. He would come in all the time. I mean he looked like he was an accounting He didn't even look like he he worked for HBO or something like that. And give me the physical description though,

He always looked like, okay, so you come in. He would have like, you know, one of them camp or vest jump on was he tall?

Was he skinny? What was Steve? I'm looking at Steve baby. He five nine, five ten.

But you know, when you're older, your back kind of you kind of hunched over, like quasi motive and hunchback of Notre Dame Titan.

But anyway, he would come in. He would always have fucking dates he killed. He has so many days line up, it's ridiculous. So he would come in. I was Steve wasn't ugly when he was young? No, no, no, I'm not saying he's ugly. He just always looks pause the podcast right now, look up, Steve Buchemy. I mean it's not cute, but you said no, But he's giving you artsy and d vibe, giving you big eyed. We live in Williamsburg, like currently vibes. Yeah, leave you, leave you for your mom top vibes. Okay.

So he would come in and he would give me the rundown. He's like, I got this he looks terrible with hair, Steve. Yeah, he would be like, so I got this one. He would give me the run down. He's like, I got this woman. You know she's not that friendly, but you know, I want to see how this goes I'm getting her one drink after one drink, close me out, he said, close me out. He's like, bring the check so she knows the dal oh, so he was already like telling you to bring the check

He's like, I'm not leaving.

This is my good chair. He would be like, this is the seat that I want. He's like, LA is hitting me perfectly right now? Ghost and he but no, no, no. He would come at weird hours, at like five thirty six. So it's like, hmm, did you rush out of work to meet up here because work ends at six.

No, some people would work till five. Do you don't even know how work works. But I know that nobody else would be in the bar at that time. It is so early. The only people who are at that time are people who having business meetings.

Okay, so he and O catch this. He would use his corporate card, so you know he writing these dates off and he would stop he would stop at eight because I'd be like, I guess that's when the corporate card ends.

He's like, oh, well, I can't have no real swipe. I had two because that's when the car gets the collect Yeah or no. You just like he's set it up to make it look like he's having business meetings when it's really dates. So how many people would you have come in at a time, like on a day? Uh? One time the kicker was four. He stayed from five, but you kept getting up to act like he was leaving. He did that four times.

Yes, he did it four times, and every time I had to act like I didn't know him, And I said, look at me getting my.

Little acting on. I mean, I mean I was treating him like I don't know who the fuck he was. I was like, yeah, what would you like? That's just you at work, that's not you acting. That's but I would put it on a little extra like, yeah, would you like that doesn't sound like you don't know what? That sounds like you are annoying because you've seen him all day, that's what. That's what that's because you owe me, and what do you want? No? No, no, hey, Steve,

One time he blew his own spy. He's like, oh, you gonna act like you don't know me. I was like, okay, Chris.

I try. I'm trying to help you here, bro, But what would the tip look like? What was the tip situation he would get? He'd pay cash and sometimes and he yes, but if I'm seeing you four times in one night, how much am I tipping you?

He gave me twenty percent on everything, but he's only getting he's only getting two drinks.

You see what I'm saying. Two drinks that's like thirty something dollars, and thirty is what six dollars? H So six times four is twenty four. Yeah, so you're getting twenty four dollars for your time. It's not enough for four hours of being there.

But but listen, when he would give me the cash, he would give me the cash.

It's a tip, So everything's cash. So what that mean you wasn't sharing it with the buzzers?

Oh fuck you no, But I'm just saying I appreciate the cash.

That means he was thinking about it.

And then this one dude, he came in he had two dates. One date it was an older woman and you know she was I thought she was beautiful. She walks it about from He's like.

Oh, look, can you believe he's like her pictures are so wrong that she looked nothing like that?

And then it shows me he's looking around and he shows me a picture of her, and I was like, yes, this was lying. She put on that that pretty filter on Instagram.

Well when she said you thought she was pretty, well, she was pretty, but she described her face to the listeners, she looked a lot younger in the photos that's on the old photos that she threw a filter on. Yes, it was like she.

No, these were filter on filters, Like she was pretty, but she looked way better in the She looked like an Instagram model on these these profiles.

But the people listening need the visual, dude, what does she look like?

She was giving me Susan Sarandon vibes at like in person, No, Susan Sarandon at her best but with a filter on.

Okay, But in in real life she looked like what Ashley Judd naw Jamie Lee Curtis, who does she what does she look like? Susan Sarandon.

You keep saying that name with no makeup one because Susan Sarandon is pretty. She's pretty like for an older woman. Like she's having her boobs out. Yes, she had her boobs out. Susan Abigail Surandon. Abigail is really like the whitest woman name in the world.

Yes, but look at her, look at her. Look at the younger pictures of her. Susan Sarandon young. Okay mm hmm.

But like no makeup in the photos that she had, she was.

Real done, like she had.

Like eyelash extensions. She had her hair all curled, fluffy and shit.

How old is Susan't Surandon that her baby pictures are all black and white? Oh my god, she's old. How old is she? I don't know, but look at these photos, dude, like throwback her head shots. Her original headshots are black and white.

That's how she was giving it. Though she looks like Misha Barton. Oh no, she definitely wish your wish. She looked like her. Susan Susan is a classic okay whatever she's oh, and she stay with her titties out. She don't play like look at this she's given you full cleavage anyway, this woman whatever he was, he was very rude. He's showing me the pictures and then she comes back and he's like he's looking at me like.

I think I'm gonna close out now. So he closes. She went to the bathroom, and then he closed out and left before she came back out.

No, no, no, he closed out, and then he made her fucking pay for her drink what yes dirtback. So I was like, oh, dude, I'm giving you you're gonna or you're gonna order like top shelf. I'm giving you well like that, and I'm gonna charge you for the top shell.

Oh absolutely, because you terrible. You're a terrible person. So then the next girl made her pay, made her pay. That's horrible. And it was so embarrassing because the woman was kind of like like nice about it, like oh okay, but then she's look, you could tell in her face that she was doubting herself, like, well something wrong with me? Yeah, say that was your photos don't match the real product. But still fuck you, dude, like you just like that gray.

But and then so she looked so sad, and I felt bad. I was like, damn, so I ended.

So you know what I did, That's what they did. I took her drink off and I charged her for one dollar. I took her drink off and charged her for one You trying to bang Susan Surrendon, No, But I just was like, fuck this dude. That was so mean. That's like not cool. That's gonna be me on dates. Dudes is gonna get up. I'm gonna be like, you know what, I gotta go. He said he was six three. He's giving me six one vibes, So go ahead and tell him I died. And then that ship I saw

Literally you watch more Bravo than me, like you know, like I feel like you doing it is funny, but a man doing it, that shit is rude and mean and it really fucks with people. It fucks with women, like it's already bad enough, I mean going this is with men. Also when women play them, that's something regular yes says yes, But that's something because somebody said this

But don't be messaging me. I hope you're writing me an essay. You have until five or you know, I'm gonna kill your dog. Guys, for them, this is training. This is training day. They out here getting no no no no no no no no no. This is practice for them.

So when they get the yes, they like ah, there's another yes, coming, I see that. Yet this is this is in practice, so no is nothing for them. They know one know is coming.

No I can't they no one know is coming. But well, you know what, we have gay guys listening to this, Hey, all of our booze. What's the process for them? What's the process with when you're a lesbian? Like who approaches who? Okay? How often do you get to know from a man when you're a man? Okay, you're a female.

I'm gonna tell you this. Gay men look better. They take them thet They're not gonna come up to you incorrect, you know what I mean. Their hairline isn't gonna be missing, They're gonna get a shape up, they gonna look clean.

They is gonna be starched and pressed. They don't have a nice outfit on. They're gonna approach you properly unless they're in a messy ass lower East Side bar. But other than that, like they they work out, they take care of themselves.

That's true, I mean most of them. So I feel like it's all game for them. They all know like who's gonna say no? It is like that's their confidence.

But they're also like putting in time to feel that confidence. I don't know. I'm friends with many, many a gay and right now where a lot of them are at, they're looking for relationships. They want to date like, they want stuff that's serious and a lot of the game.

Hey, Booth, it's not gonna be on grinder. You're not gonna find love and grinder.

I mean. Also, if you're dating somebody who's married, it's probably not gonna end up well for you. You shade you. I mean, but how many people do you know who dating married people? Right now? I've been hearing a lot of stories, a lot of people a lot, and it's like, you're telling me you want to be in a relationship, but you dating somebody who's already in a relationship.

I think it's a tough it's not even it's a tough one. First of all, it's wrong. Why would you want somebody else's property? Like, get there's eight million people in New York City. Get somebody else. But if you're in a situation like that, I've been there.

You dated a married dude. Oh let's get into it. Wow, okay, we got some time. Let me see how much time we have left to discuss your you and some men's infidelities. Dude, you are a lifetime movie waiting to happen. Talk about you want an over zealous fan. You were an overzeales fan. You took somebody's man that says I was not a fan, though you were a fan of that duke. Anyway, I'm not.

Going to put out any of the names or anything. I'm not gonna say the specifics at all.

Well give us the give us the particulars. Met them working, okay, at the job at the bar. Did you know that they were they were married? Yes, because you know, I'm at the point in my life when I'm like, legit looking at people ring fingers down and I'm like you in my face, but you got a ring on. But I didn't know you looked, No, no, no, I just I got history. So I already knew you got history. So you you were able to like forensically see the tan

Oh wow, you prepared, you prepared for that Hung Bong? Yeah I did, and uh you know it was it was a so did who initiated.

You were him you sir? Wow? For some reason I had that feeling. I was like, he steps out, But why where sis were you? What? How dark was the period in your life where this was going down that you were like, he steps out, that's cool.

I actually it was a Actually it was a quite grand life that I was having a great time at that time.

But was the wife having a good time? Probably not unless it was open. Was it open?

I'm like, there's no way that she doesn't know, because that's how messy he was being.

Dude. I was like, you don't have no respect. You are Carrie, he's big, the wife is Natasha, Sex and the City season honestly all of that, but black people. So y'all were morey episode because no, no, no, no, this is we were upscale blacks darling. So this is a judge Joe Brown, black judge mathis it was.

There was a situation where I was like, dude, this is not gonna work.

This is bad. Well I'll tell you what's not gonna work is how vague being we want the tea? Okay? I ended up going to the house. Where was the house? Can you describe? It was classic? It was nice it was a brownstone. It was a beautiful house.

Just know there was a beautiful upstairs, downstairs, duple, numerous bathrooms, walking closet four.

It was cute. Yeah, no four, No four. He had a pantry though, dude, So you go to the house. Are you afraid the wife might come home? Allegedly she was away for the week. But I was at that door. I had everything packed just in case. Hi couches, you had your You took your panties off, folded them through them. Yeah, my god. I was ready to hop out. Went in the windows. I was like, where are all the exits? Was the sex good? Yeah? It was, but it was wrong.

I always that's another thing that I regret. I regret it.

It was wrong. How many times did y'all have sex? Numerous? How many times did you go to the house. One time I was like, I'm never doing this again. This is stupid. That's ballsy, dude, Yeah, it's dumb. I also was very drunk and high, and you were drunking high every time you saw him. He would never sober when

Sis, I was in a point of my life that it was not dark, but it was lit.

So every day it was lit. Every day we live, every day we live. No, that's wrong, it was wrong. I'm listen. What would you do? What would you do if your son was that a bad club and he's hungry? What would you do if you you came home and Adrian has some other chick in the house, but ask naked feeding your cats? She was butt naked, like you better feed the cat's button naked well, because she likes she likes cats more than you like cats. Shelly and Cham.

I can't even picture it, Sis, But you know what, I'm dead inside. So honestly, I'll take a moment and I'll be like, are you dead inside? I am dead inside. I feel like my emotions are either there really high or they're really low.

It seems like my polar dude. It sounds like you crazy. My emotions. It's just emotions taking me. Hi. That was a good song. No, but I feel like I would be like, give me a moment. I'll step outside. I'll call you outside, dude, what you will come here? No, I'll step outside. They'll call you and like, Marie, what should I do? I be like, I'm pulling up. You would pull up for me what you need me to bring? You would pull up, bring this podcast equipment and hit

No, she just she loves me and I love her and I know that I could trust her. But if I came in, I'm like, it's not even my house, so I can't even kick him out. Dude, men pay no utility bills.

It's kind of like, why, hey, guys, I don't know what that means from diary if a mad black woman, Yeah, well you know we don't do this not this is a smart podcast and people listening don't. I don't watch that. I don't know what I would, but I feel like I would want to break something. I would throw summary at somebody. I haven't seen you really angry, so I

Well, At comedy shows, I just want to like videotape your face because the shit that you be looking like is so disrespectful.

In the room.

I was like, is she a comic, because the way she's looking, she looks like an audience member that's not having it.

I'm a critic, Like how many drunk critic I mean, but if I'm in a relationship with somebody, I mean, there's not pictures of you and Adrian all over the house. So there's that, But like she know, Adrian don't wear wigs. There's a lot of weeks at the house. No, it's a lot of pictures of fucking you and I have to change that. It's so your house. There's a lot of pictures of me.

Yes, there's pictures of us, like cause you know, we in photo booths. We and all we do is photo booth it out and so there's mad photo booth pictures and she puts them up for us.

She'll like put them on the wall, she put them onside. She made them look all nice. You know what, Sydney, this I actually did not know how to tell you this, and this is probably the best place to do it. I'm sleeping with Adrian. Oh my god, oh my god.

The podcast is over. Yeah, we're done. We're so done.

She's actually, she's really faithful. She's super loyal. Yo.

If that if she if that fucking happened, Oh, I'm Lisa leftiving everybody this house, her house.

Oh man, that I would be so upset. I would be like, said, you give her a get out of jail. No, but not for you, bitch. Why it's the year the yes, she asked me. I said, yes, I'm trying to be more open. You know, it's my host centennial year. Oh my god, I can't. My legs were tired. You doing me? I can sit on her face.

I'm so done, and I'm overwhelmed that you did that twist right there.

That was a really good twist. Gag is we're actually sleeping together. Yo. Now every time I see you with her, I'm be like, Yo, I'm punching you in the face.

If you even look at my girl, I'm punching you in the face.

But if your girl looks at me, yes, that's my faults.

After the podcast, immediately calling her like.

So how do you feel about Marie, She's goes like I love her. You see we have this here's the same color right now because we go to the same to do it. Bit you to y'all here, Yeah, I'll be doing Adrian's hand. I greased that scalp regularly. It's just like the things you won't do cater to you, Nadden, It says your day. That's the song that we oh my God may love to ray the quiets doer. I'm so done that, like I'm overwhelmed. Well, who you gonna leave?

That's the question if that situation happened, who should I leave? Should I leave Adrian? Or should I end the podcast with Marie and they and never never, never, fucking fucking can talk to her again and delete, delete all the photos and then just post the pictures.

Listen. If that happens, listeners, the podcast will go on. It'll be just mine what I will take this equipment, not the equipment here. You got to come to my house. I'm here now, I'll take it. Right now, I'm taking it back to fucking no, you're not ten nineteen putting them and Adrian will send it back to me because that's my girl. She'd be like, babe, I got your stuff and you'd be like mine and she'd be like, not you, not you, nigga, and she'll be on the

Says charge it to the game, or you or you know what, you three three it like we're all together.

No, that's not I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna make Adrian Jews. She gonna pick me. I'm like, hey, Banbri, I fucking this is too much. Do you make her choose? YEP. I'd be like, well, me and Sidney can still be colleagues or whatever, but like you pick one, he's not gonna be a polyamorous situation.

Listeners, do you think Adrian should stay with Marie?

Do you think she should stay we're asking real questions. This is honestly the best. This has been the best episode. This is the year. This is the great way to start the year out. Yeah, you're wondering if I'm banging your girlfriend. We're gonna leave it right there. Make sure you come back. That's it. That's all I want you to do is come back, right Do you want me