30 & Regular

You're listening to mess ooh child.

Okay, girl, I'm Haggeroni's how you doing? I'm doing well.

I think if I think about how I'm actually doing, I think it's gonna make me feel bad. But I'm doing well really Yeah. Like you know how someone's like, how you doing and you just say good?

Yeah? But sometimes I need to learn how to do that? How you do that? You lie? I'm bad at that. You have we not realized I am.

I need to cut transparency out of my life.

I'm done, you do, I'm done. You need to be more. What's the opposite of transparent?

Okay, okay, okay, that's what I need to That's the word.

Of the day. Okay, every time we say it, take a shot. Yes? So are you? Are you overwhelmed? This is the holidays? Is it just?

I just feel like I have a lot of stuff that I need to do. Yeah, and if I don't write it down, it won't get done. And even if I do write it, it might not get done, you know what I mean? Like I need to I have like a notebook now where I write in big sharpie not to do lists. Yeah, so then I can see it because usually I write everything on like an envelope or like a you know, a receipt, and then I lose that and then I.

On, Mama's what You're just writing it on loose papers. Sometimes I just write it on the table like it's a dry erase ball. Well, at least you're writing it down.

I feel like writing it down and thinking about it is just it's doing too much. That's a mess for me, like seeing what I have to do and knowing what I have to do. That's why i'm right now. Is I feel manic. I feel absolutely manic, because you know, I know you're tired of me talking about trying to get an apartment.

Yes, but after we talk about it now, we'll never talk about it never.

We'll never talk about it again, because we will.

I will after this comes out, I will hopefully have already gotten in an apartment. That my mess, fully is like trying to unmess my life.

That's what's going on right now. I am.

I think I am tired of saying I'm a mess. It's okay that the pod is called mess, but I don't want that to be my life. I need to I need a whole rebrand. I need to, you know, gut it, gut the whole thing. Start Like the shell of it is going to be the same, but the inside we rearranging ship.

The shell of your life, the shell of my life.

You know, because a friend was like, I think it's cute that you know you kind of like a little messy. But I'm like, I I am, I'm through.

I'm exhausted. I actually don't want to know more. You're retired.

I'm ready to hang it up. Whatever, my my messy ass cloak is burn it. I am through because I want to be more organized.

I don't think I'll ever go really be on time.

That's fine, but like I just want my papers in order, my clothes, hung up, my money, my money.

Right, Like that's I'm not asking for much, bitch. Put all that on the prayer list.

Let me write that down. Yeah, so your papers and what papers? Oh? Any no? Anytime papers? Papers? The girl the way the papers just.

Be lying around, Like have my whole bank statement, social security, my whole information just out I will I will rip up.

In the envelope and then put it down somewhere. Well yeah, yeah, but that's I got.

I got a lot of letters from the I R S that I'm ignoring, and all the papers are on my table right now, and I'm I leave them out because I'm like, if they're out, maybe I'll read them. But I think I'm just gonna have to go to jail because arrest me.

No, I don't. Please.

Actually, while I'm starting my new life, I don't want to get arrested.

I've done that already. I can't do it.

It is the new black I can't do it, the new city girl.

It's like.

And the thing, the thing is is that, like you know, obviously, I'm I'm tired. I don't want to get older. I'm like, can we just say here, can we just like I be another year but the same year?

Or can we can we be another year? But that is mess? What aging is mess?

Yeah, okay, because when you're young, you think you're gonna be young forever. You think your body and your knees and your back and your head, shoulders, these and toes, it's always gonna be Like I didn't know that all of the hair on your body can go gray. You can get gray eyebrow hairs, you could get gray armpit hairs, you can get gray pubs.

Who knew I knew I knew because let me tell you, right, even before this pod, I was like, let me go, let me go work my situation out. Before I come to the pod, I said, let me let me start fresh man. When I tell you I think, I was like, the way I use that razor, I said, do I have Parkinson's?

I missed a whole section. It looks uneven.

Do I have Parkinson's. I would like to say that's in the running to be the title, but that's.

Not the title.

But the way I will never I won't tell anybody that they should trust me with scissors or to cut anything.

Baby, we close to it. She's giving scalped, scalped. But then part because you know.

I was trying to do the landing, trying to have something cute, trying to do a design. I was trying to I was trying to do some you know Netflix new show.

You know that's why you was late to the to the studio today. You was trying to design.

Yeah, shape shape that couch by Sydney Washington. I don't know, I was just I was anyway, is it is it Coucie?

Is cooty? Is the Cucci cute? Is it Couchie cute. I'm trying.

Thank you my best, thank you. Yeah, And I did it kind of in the dark, and then.

Why are you shaving your because I just had max whe natural light, natural light going on in the bathroom, and you know, it's just a little window sill, just a smidge of the light coming through, and I said, that's enough.

And I've got one eye open while I'm doing it. And then you know, I didn't lift my lift up my leg.

I'm just fully just and you're trying to close because the cat's trying to you know, they trying to come in.

They were like, well, let me get it that. George was like, I think I got a better angle. I don't know it was a cat, said, I hear you shaving a cat in there.

Let me see, yeah, let me see.

Yeah, don't look it's bad. And now I feel like I just gotta just start all over and just go bald. And I don't like that either, So really, yeah, I don't like that.

I don't know, it's too much.

It's like it's you know how some people can't have a bald head because you could see how lumpy or whatever it looks. I'm not saying it looks lumpy. It just I don't like it. I don't want to see it all the way girl, your Willison it Bruce Willis is it's very proportions. I don't know, you know, because I'm getting older, I put some weight on it. So it's not it's not Seltz. It's sad that.

I never said that. I never said that. You said that. I did not. It's on the record, okay.

But my my mess this week is I went to go see some apartments and I think, you know, they need to start over with all these Wiltors, a lot of them. I don't know how you got your job. I don't know what like you're over, but also you got an attitude. You have this air like you need me, and it's like I do, but I need you to act like you need me as well.

They do because they need they need that little commission or whatever Seiling Sunset be talking about.

I don't know what they need, but they need to rework some ways they speak to people. I went to this, you know, open house, which is crazy. I don't want to go to a cattle call of somebody seeing some apartment.

In New York City.

We walking, We're walking up the stairs. It feels like we're in the in the Navy and we're like they were all going up and we're walking up three flights of stairs. First of all, why did I know that this was a walk up? Why am I walk? I don't want to sweat to see an apartment.

I don't want to.

Be huffing and puffing and feeling like, oh my god, did I just do sult cycle. Yeah, third floor is too high because I'm somebody who always forgets something when I get to the bottom of the stairs and I gotta go back up. If I live on the third floor, whatever's up there, it's staying up It's my mayonnise, my wallet,

Beautiful, but it's not for me.

It's not for me because I go up the stairs. Where's the closets. There's no closet, there's no space. It's like everything is for some cuty young kid that's in college.

It's nothing.

None of these apartments is for a grown ass bitch. That's like, I have stuff, I've lived, I have things. Where do my things go? Well, because it's a cue bedroom, it's actually anti horder right now, and I don't like it.

Anti horder.

They're like, oh, where're you gonna put yourself? You can't, there's nowhere to put the thing.

No, you gotta they said, this little second bedroom. That's the closet.

That's the closet.

And it's like, well, who's gonna pay for this second bed? My clothes are not paying for this closet. So this is the second room. So I go there. Everybody's sucking their teeth. They're upset because they're like, we walked all the way up here, We're not buying this, this is this is dumb. Then I go to another place and you know, another open house. Now I'm not being fucking rude, but I'm rude right now. Now I see the people

Is what the people? Look?

It was a ragtag of who where are y'all coming from like are you where you live? Like they just I came together, Like I was like, you know, let me put on a little cute outfit. They look like they rolled out of bed comes in this apartment, and it was strange.

It was strange.

It was an odd couple. And then it was these roommates. No no, no, no, no problem.

So the guy he's late, that the realtor or whatever, he's late, no problem, I'm late, I understand.

He comes in, he's talking to the couple. He's nice to them.

He's talking to the room, the two people who came into, he's nice to them. He sees me, he's like, and who are you. It's like, sir, you called me. You called me to tell me. You're like, you don't know who this is?

Yeah, babe, I'm on the list.

Yeah.

So then we go up.

You know, they're selling, selling, selling these apartments that are too small, and he's talking to the couple, asking them about them, then talking he's paying me dust like oh, I ain't nobody, and then finally he's like he's like, oh, I want them to see the apartments first, and then you come after them. And I'm like, okay, this is fucking Are you being rude because I'm by myself because I'm a single woman. Then I go in the apartment by myself with him. He's like, so, why do you

But also, why is he talking to you like he already knows your critics score?

Woo Marie, you are rude, miss so.

Then I said, oh, well, I'm gonna you know, uh, I have a roommate or whatever.

He's like a husband.

First of all, if I was gonna be with a husband, I would have said husband.

I said roommate.

He's like, oh, well he's roommate now, but he might be a husband later. You are too familiar, sir, How old was you? This person old enough to he should be minding his business. You should be wanting me to apply. I now no longer want to apply. I wasn't going to apply anyway because I saw I saw the dirty you know.

Welcome Matt you have of this place. I'm all set, but he's just it.

Was it was giving very sexist, over familiar, weirdo vibes.

And I was just like I was. He could tell when I walked in. I was like, YE had a same for me. He said, these views, the views are great. I said, hey, I He's like, you're not going to get anything better than this.

Excuse me, sir? What he was what they were asking for? What price? I think it was.

I think it was like thirty one for you know, just a regular like skinny two bedroom. Not enough closets, the kitchen is in the living room, the living room is in the bath.

It was all of that.

It wasning. It was nothing that he's like, oh, we have a gym. I don't care about these amenities, sir.

I'm not gonna be in that gym. No. I would like a gym, but you won't see me the gym. Don't know me.

Okay, I would like it as an option, but it's not the reason.

Why I'm in the building, do you understand.

So anyway, that pissed me off, and I was just like And then he had the nerve to call me the next day. I told him, I said, I'm not applying, but he called me to say what, probably just checking it.

I don't know because I didn't pick up. But I now want to call him to that.

I said, hey, did anybody apply because I know I didn't, and then hang up.

That's so petty.

It is petty, and that's I should have been like that, because it was just like, sir, who the f are you talking to?

AnyWho?

I just can't wait till I get an apartment because I'm ready.

I'm gonna put petty Sydney on the prayer list.

You should be.

More petty, could be more petty. I should be more petty and more organized. That's all I want, And now I'm just trying to get I'm gonna. I saw an apartment. I liked it. You know, my friend likes it. I actually wanted to bed too bath. But it's you know, I need more money. I need more money. Put that on the prayer list as well. I need money, more coins, Marie money. Okay, I put it on there.

I never about me. What about you?

Oh, let's talk about my mess I do really think getting older is messy, because you know, when you're young and your eyes are awesome and your body is great, you take it for granted. You know, you squint into the sun and you look at eclipses, even though they tell you not to without glasses, and you're like.

I'm gonna be able to see forever.

So I had an eye exam last week, and you know I cheated. I cheated at the eye exam. I was trying to put both eyes in one hole and.

I was, whoa, you eyes one hole. That's crazy, Marie. But that's hot? Is that? Will that be a new Porno? Two eyes, one hole. It's gonna be nasty like the original part.

One, two girls, one cup. But yeah, so I you know, I'm trying to cheat. The guys like what do you see up there? I'm like, what do you see? The doctor's like mail and I'm like male. And after the exam turns out I need glasses.

So I got glasses.

But he was like, you know how they're like this one or this one A or B and the whole time I'm like, no, no, they kind of look the same. So I'm just I'm I'm not even really paying attention.

You have to take the it's serious. They have glasses. They're too strong. I'm like, yeah, I feel like I put them on for you. Yeah, let's see.

I feel like when I wear I feel cross and then want to thank them off now you just got to get used to it. I got some cool little hipster joints. It's not like I think.

It's kind of like when you put a Diva cup in you know it doesn't feel right just yet, but then you siting in it for a little bit and you're like, oh, it didn't maneuvered.

It's I don't need to see this clearly.

I feel like I can see the world in four K right now, like the wall has a text door. I don't want to see that. I can these buttons breathing. I can see the dust on the fuck you need to be able to see friends, I'm thinking about.

That's probably why we're not on time. We don't see well, we can't see the time. First of all, the glasses are too strong.

And when I went to pick them up, I was like like this, and the lady was like, wear them for the weekend.

And then I did not wear that. You have to wear them for the weekend, Marie, wear them for the rest of the show. Girl, my eyes, this is too much sister you and I see you. You look beautif baby.

This is the opposite of Ray Charles, and I don't like it, Like, I mean, see you watching this right now.

Maybe I need to see them. Maybe they're too strong. Maybe I mean pretty you are without my glass?

No hold on, oh no, I can see these. Maybe I need Maybe this is my prescription.

Please look, please look into the camera. What do I look like?

Do I look as good as Freeze? I don't know if they look good the way you're laughing at me. Let me see they do look good. I'm just saying, oh, but Jesus, cute girl, and they go and they go with the shirt.

It's given miss Frizzle just a little bit.

Mis Frizzle would never look this simple, babe, she would have one seventeen patterns.

Girl, these glasses, I'm screaming seeing it's terrible now, thank you, That's what I'm saying. See, let me not terrible. I need to see, but not like that.

But yeah, yeah, anyway, so I got glasses and they're too strong. That's my mess.

That is your mess. But at least you know you're working on yourself.

You're feeling that is motivating, just knowing that you went there and there's a solution.

The solution is glass want my money back.

You probably shouldn't have lied on your test, but we'll go back and we'll make it right.

They're gonna call back, They're gonna charge me again for them.

And you know, they try to up charge me with the thinner sexy polycarbonate, this glass transition. And I was like, no, no, no, whatever the cheapest ones are because I put my own frames and then they charged me thirty five dollars.

For bringing my own frames. I don't even think these frames.

Cost thirty five dollars. How much are the glasses, Sydney? You have these frames? I got them from Amazon and then I put my perscripsion. That's great, so shout out to Jeffrey. Are those glasses sturdy? Then? Because they're Amazon, the wind blow wrong and it breaks, No, the glass, the glass also, they call them glasses, but this is not glass, it's plastic.

So why do they call them glass? And the lady was like, I don't know, ma'am. I just work here. She said, just swep your card, badge. I'm asking these questions and pay for the that's real dusty in here. I can see all the dust on the keyboard. A heart. What's up? Y'all? Need a little swiffer, A little swiffer.

This bitch, this is crazy. But I will say now that I have glasses and I can see. I wore these on the train and I was making eye contact with everybody and they probably thought you wanted them.

They're like they just I was like sexy. I feel like Velma when she can see again. That's how I feel. Anyway, who we're gonna take them off. Okay.

So another thing I think like getting older is messy is because your perspective changes drastically. Yeah, like just the things that I was so into is through I don't I don't care no more, like what okay, let's see this is this is a tough one. It's like when people talk to me, I think they'd be talking to the old me, where I would be like, oh yeah that I'm cool with that, But now I think I'm

Pop off, oh yeah, pop off. Yeah.

And so I right now I'm trying to work on talking to people the right way, like taking a break and being like Okay, I'm gonna get back to you. Let me think about this, because I don't want to write immediately how I feel, and I don't. I want to check me before I check that person. Sometimes you got to check yourself before you wreck yourself.

You knew that was coming around. You knew it that I knew it.

That was very old. No, No, it's wise.

That's what it is. I've lived. Why it's the new old season. Rude, that's what you are. Thank you, But you know, I'm a youth. The youth are rude.

That's why you see so well, you know what you should start saying. Listen, I can't really hold space for this right now.

That's what it is. I'm gonna get that to work on space space. But also, yeah, I don't. I have two modes.

Okay, when somebody says something that I don't want to hear, I am either very quick to block now I'm blocking, or I send a very I'm not gonna say condescending, but kind of like a the tone, the tone of the email is a little bit rude. Like my accountant took a really long time to get back to me, and I looked at the correspondence of the email, and it had been a month since the first message I sent.

Them, and so last week here, let me read the.

Message I said this, and then we be on the chains and I'm like, yo, I need to can you start a class on how to respond your responses. I'm like, I wouldn't have written that, Yeah, I mean, sometimes it's stuff I shouldn't write.

I'll be and I'll talk in us say it.

I'd be like, hey, Siri, and then I'll say it, and then I'll why what I do is I type it out?

So the way I type is not the way I actually speak. Yeah, the way my problem.

The way I type is sometimes I speak but okay, boom, hold on, I.

Said, Hi.

I never heard anything back regarding this, and I now hear you both loud and clear. A full month has passed since I sent my initial email regarding this issue, and I would have appreciated just one message stating that this was something you're unable to help me with, so I wouldn't have wasted so much time waiting around moving on to someone else who can hopefully resolve this for

The response is below, and then he sent it and it was in there, but I didn't get it.

Yeah, but you need to write and say, Hey, So I got new glasses.

I just couldn't see. I'm sorry about that. No, I got a prescription.

No no, no, I responded, Hi blank, I never received that message you sent.

And this process has.

Been extremely frustrating because I'll be trying to channel my inner white woman, you know, and I feel like they would say something like this. I'd just like to pay this fine and get set my accounts up and not have this problem ever again.

Are you free to.

Talk today or sometime tomorrow morning? I understand if you're not, but I do plan to call the IRS today. And then we talked.

Girl, you Wesley Snipes, You're going to jail? What's up? Possibly? No, girl, it's three.

Hundred twenty dollars fine that I gotta pay plus the other fine.

But you know what was the fine for just late failure to file? Oh yeah, but I filed just late.

Well, well, maybe you could talk to the IRS and be like it wasn't me, it was fucking Greg you know. Yeah, I always say pushing on somebody else, what they gonna do.

Well, I mean, I just listen, I just I'll be speaking of my SERI and she says she records it.

I had a comma or two and then I'll send it. Yeah, I need to work through that.

That being said, the first accountant that I talked to like that did let herself go. She was like, well, because I was like, I thought you were doing my taxes.

What's up?

And she was like, oh, I didn't know that I was preparing them. And I was like, but I had been messaging you about my taxes all year. Did you think I was messaging you because we're friends? And she was like, I actually don't like your tone and I'm.

Not taking this any further with you. And I was like, damn, I won't to do my taxes. But also it's like, I don't know.

Sometimes you got to give somebody enough rope for them to hang in themselves, and sometimes you got to say something for them to be like, you know what I'm going, I'm gonna peace out because I wasn't doing my job right anyway.

I think that's what it is. We forget that, like the same way that we half asked. The jobs that we had when we were young, and some of the jobs that we do now it's doctors half assed in it's a CPA's.

That's why you have scary right now. I know too much. I know too.

I remember when like I freaking was like I'm going to work.

I am so happy to work. I would do anything to work.

And now I'm like, man, I'm tired working his hard And I was like, will I know there's people who are like me who are showing up to work, who got more important at me and they got the same vibes as me.

And are they showing.

Up twenty minutes late too? So they you know, they're frazzled and stressed. So they're so the energy is just like exchanging and it's stressing me out.

I'm thinking about too much at the same time, Yeah, you think pilots show up to work half fasten it too.

I think they have to come two hours early before it's before they have to like fly.

They I don't think.

They'll let anybody show up to work late and then go fly.

I have been on flights where they were like, we're sitting here because the pilot is not here. I have been on flights where they were like, we're waiting for the pilot. He's getting off another flight, and it's like.

Okay, but getting off another flight is different from he haven't flown all day and now he pulling up thirty minutes late.

No, you're wearing the blazer, but he's wearing pajama bottle.

Uh huh.

He got on sweatpan, you know what.

And that's some people's whole, like identity is where they yes, they have the uniform on top, but they too loose.

At the bottom. They too loose at the bottom.

That's at the bottom, too loose at the bottom.

Okay, let's look at some of this stuff that's like messy for the week that's coming up that I saw on you know, the internets. So I'm into this artist, Sabrina Carpenter. I mean also, she's getting pushed down my throat with algorithm.

Saying to this artist, like people don't know who she's made, to this.

Artist, I don't know if y'all know about her, I don't know, you know, she just popped out. I am. I'm thoroughly enjoying. I think it's a short and sweet tour. Everybody's putting out all these like clips they're going. We've even had a friend, Marcelo Hernandez from SNL.

He he was able to do a little skit with her.

They they both posted a picture of them backstage together. They look real into it looks so freaking cool, right them and tell him I want to officiate the wedding.

It was sweet dope. It was so dope.

And so you know, I'm listening to her songs. I'm watching how she performs. And it's what people don't know is Sabrina is selling sex. I don't care if y'all think she a poll pocket.

She is sex sexy. She's sexy in a little teddy dress.

She is deep throating that microphone in front. And that's the problem right now.

People are having an issue where her like little Juno poses.

They're like, are you doing You're doing too much, sister babe.

She's going, she's coming to the to the concert and it's like, hey, whatever, I don't know who she used to be on a Disney channel. She's not doing that no more. No, ma, you guys got us.

You gotta leave the Disney Channel. You gotta hi.

I'm Sabrina Carpenter and you're watching this, you gotta leave this behind this she's grown.

She not doing this no more. She's doing this now. Yay, she is doing that.

And I think women should be allowed to express themselves, how sexually or not, if they want to.

And if they're listening just so happened to be.

Eighteen seventeen fifteen six, because that's who's listening, then hey, so be it.

This is what people.

Grow up, and this is how they're speaking and how they're talking and every and she's a poet too, because the thing is they'll listen to a song they're like, oh, she's talking about taking it from the back yard, y'ah.

She just says that. She tries to saying it the urban outfitters way.

She's she just covered it with like this a lot of bubble gum because she said the.

Come and ride on me.

Come on, ride on me, I mean camaraderie. She's being like, she's got to play on words. She said, come on, ride on me. That's what she said. Okay, she's reversed cowgirl on that ass. She's number eleven in the world on Spotify, So that's amazing.

You can't it's not short or sweet. Okay.

She it's crazy because like when you a friend of ours just want to go see Taylor Swift, and she said, Taylor Swift is very like you guys can do it and like yeah, like because she has a lot of little kid fans and she got you know, people you know that are older, and Sabrina is doing the opposite. She has a lot of little kid fans, but she is giving you know, mighty when she wouldn't put her tongue back in her mouth energy And I think that.

It should However the artist wants to be portrayed, that's how they should be able to portray. If there's young people listening to me, thank you for listening. But I'm still gonna be me. I'm still an adult. I'm still you know, how old is Sabrina? She gotta be like, oh all that okay, she own.

She's grown, h Marie, She's.

Grown twenty five And I think twenty five is like the most flirty I had ever been in my life. Like I was just becoming my you know, getting into my own I didn't have fake breast yet, but you know, I was flopping them a little triple A cups everywhere, and I was in my little American apparels, tiny ass dresses with no panties on it. And so I feel

They only do this to female artists, and they do it every single year.

Every year some artists is popping.

And they're like, well, Rihanna should be a better influence to the Rihanna is a grown ass woman smoking weed and talking about how sex with herb is so amazing. Why did you think your kid was not going to hear that or shouldn't hear that?

Like you don't care about your daughter? You know what I'm saying, like, she gotta kids herself. Now, she's a mother. She is a mother.

But like every artist they do that with, but it's women. I don't think they do this with men. Men get up there and they're talking about I don't even know what male artists talk about.

I don't My ear is just closed. Yeah, but uh.

Talking about I don't know, But I love I would love to go to her concerts.

Shelby text mar Marcella Marcia. I know he could get his backstage, right.

I love her concert and I love when artists are on stage and you could tell they're having a good time. I don't like when people are being performative and they're not in their bag.

Dough Chi right now is in you know, panties and.

Ass is flapping and she's wrapping her ass off and she's so good, and I like, that's what I want to see. I don't want to see somebody being like, well, this is what I think they want me to be. It's like ugh, not ugh, but no, yeah.

Do what you want to do, how you want to do it. And if you're having a good time, it's a it's fun for everybody involved, now, you know, We've seen Mariah Carey live a few times and she pops out the holiday, she does a little two months of music and then she leaves.

But you know, the last time we saw her perform, I said, did she take an edible? Like? Wait?

She just so very I mean, and she you know, she's not doing choreo. She she don't really sway. But it did feel like the last time we saw her perform, it was like it was given sedated.

No, no, no, it wasn't given sadated. It's giving legend.

She has worked so many years, decades put in her discography.

Is it's unmatched. She's worked her, She's did her time.

Yeah, she wants to glide and sliding. She wants to get her if she wants to get her tresses pressed out on stage, she should be able to and she she will and she she stands there, she she sings, and then the guy comes out and he's like, and then I love it. I think these fans are expecting too much and they know too much and they're too critical, and it's like, you know us, she's out there sweating, sweating his wig off.

He's in roller skates.

Background there, he's got all this stuff going on, and it's like, y'all feel the same way.

Y'all feel the same way about everything. Y'all.

People are never satisfied, you know what I'm saying. So it's like, at least perform the way you want to perform and walk out and be like I did what I wanted to do.

I just want, if you're going to perform live, just make it seem like you're excited to be there. That's all I'm saying. I think I think she is.

She's sipping her lemonade, she got her kids dancing in the back.

She's having a good time. Okay. So also, how old is she? How old is Mariah carry?

I want to say fifty eight?

Oh right? We yay.

I mean I think there should be I think it's a mess when you expect too much from people who have lived a long time.

I'm like, I am in my thirties. I'm exhausted.

I can't I being that age and doing everything that she has done.

I can't even imagine. I would not.

I have no time for nothing. I wouldn't want anybody giving me notes on anything. I'm like, hey, I've been fine since right, I've been doing what I need to do.

But being thirty and regular is different than being I heard you being thirty very regular.

Hold on, let me finish you trying to finish thirty in regular? Being saw the title. That's also the title bit.

Being thirty irregular is different than being fifty five and rich, because fifty five and rich is basically thirty in regular.

You know what I'm saying, Like like you you understand what I'm saying. Yeah, And Mariah Carey.

Has been rich since she was like twenty, so you know it's thirty thirty five years? Is that the math? That's it's thirty five years of rich, leisurely, you know, face massages and butt massages and risk massages, whatever the hell she needs to just get in.

Oh, you know, it's a mess right now.

People are obsessed with the way Lindsey Lohan Lookssina Aguilera, all the girls is getting the work done, probably even Martha Stewart. The girls are popping out. The new surgeon that's on a block, he's doing his thug dizzle. But everyone is commenting on how it's right now. It's weird because one way you want to be like, oh, these people look amazing, but they're obviously in the eye of the people, and they have to get this work done.

I don't think it's negative to promote that. I think that they look great. Christina Juilera looks like she literally turned back the hands of times given Genie in a bottle, Lindsay Lohan.

I mean they say it's toxic.

They say it's toxic because she looks better than she did when she was younger.

Okay, So as a woman, you're not allowed to be ugly.

You're not allowed to be cute, You're not allowed to be big, you're not allowed to be small.

No.

Now, if you on TikTok bragging about being skinny, people are like, that's offensive. Yep, I like being skinny, you say, now on the record front the antling people for that. They answering people right now, I like being skinny.

Are you saying that? Wish camera? But I'm not, Okay, I've tried, you tried to be thick.

My my thing about it one because I've had plastic surgery and I am thin. I will say this, some of that stuff is not the answer. If you do things thinking that it's gonna change your whole you could still have your body done, be thin and doing bad. And I'm gonna tell you this, I'm saying it in the camera that be me. Sometimes skinny boobs bad.

Like it's happening, you.

Know for me.

I was having this conversation with our friend Carolina, and she was just like, you'll never know what it's like to, you know, deal with fat phobia and these things. And like you saying that, oh, you're skinny and you have issues, it's not the same. And I was like, I'm not saying it's the same, but you can't invalidate how people feel in their bodies. That's what I'm saying is that it's obviously fat phobia is real. I don't know if

And nobody's professionals.

You're not a doctor, you don't know what they're doing in their day to day to say somebody, oh you're you have body issues or eating eating disorder or it's it's none of your fucking business. At my point, like the way that we want to Lindsey tell us who did your face? Hey babe, you got to get in the same tax record as me, and then you'll know who the who the doctor is.

You can't get.

You can't get whoever she got. Y'all who work at CVS can't. So why are you asking?

I heard it was a two hundred thousand dollars facelift? Really, no way, is that? What is that? What? I see? What they say? You wt two hundred thousand dollars?

Okay, Oh you know what, since we're talking about money and you're listening to this, go ahead and venmoy fifty dollars. We're gonna work our way up to the two hundred thous.

From my facelift, thank you? Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

It's pretty much a GoFundMe and installment. It's gonna take two hundred thousand episodes to get there. Yeah, we'll get there. Yeah, No, I think that there is. I don't I don't know if it's skinny phobic. But you know when people are like big and proud to be big, and I don't know what the word is here body positive.

You're allowed to be body positive.

If you're bigger, but if you're thin and you are happy with your weight, then people are not.

Happy with you.

And I'm like, is this how white people feel when black people be like black black girl magic and black power?

Is this how white people feel? I don't. I don't know. Well, that's the thing.

They're like, hey, you are you have a privilege by being thin or beautiful or whatever, So why do you need to say that you're already living.

Living the life. Not a privilege? But it is.

I disagree, it is. It is a but it is a we we do have to be on. It's like, you know, white privilege or what it is? A privilege being attractive or having a certain body type because people will treat you differently. It just that's just what it is.

Yeah, But everybody that's big is not big because they can't help being big. You know, this is everybody don't have a thyroid problem. This is not my wheelhouse.

I don't know.

Everybody don't have pcos. I can't everybody it's America. Some of y'all big because y'all love Chick fil A.

Oh bitch, hey, that's what Marie said. That's not what I said.

This is this is Marie's standing on that. I am not listen, zoom in no zoomen Wow. This is gonna go viral for sure for all the wrong reasons.

Girl.

I'm not trying to go for I'm just saying, Oh, you don't have to try, man, I'm just saying, Okay, I'm petite. I got petite parents, but they got big. I have big aunts and uncles. You know what I'm saying.

The way you're saying big, sis, I don't know. I don't know you should.

Maybe you should be a little bit more like lighter with it, big big.

Listen, everybody, everybody in a and I'm speaking specifically about America. Everybody that's here is not big because of an accident, or because of a health issue, or because I don't know lymph notes.

I don't know why people. I don't know why people be big, but uh yeah, I don't. I can understand the privilege of it.

But like, how you doing that quote because I don't really I don't think it's a privilege to be skinny.

You got some fucking nerves.

You with your good ass skin, your gabs glasses on, you can't.

See that well.

But everything else is working out, friend, everything else is working out.

Listen, one day, when I'm big, maybe I should Maybe so when I'm big, I could be like, let me get my.

Big Yes, girl, you're a mess.

I will say that as I've gotten older, I've gained you know. Obviously it's not enough for people to be like, h but I have things change and I can't wear the same clothes or I don't feel comfortable, and I'm like, if I feel like this, I know this is hard for other people. So I do understand the sensitivity of just like being kinder to like how women speak about the.

Outside that the shell it is.

It is a way to talk about things and having empathy because I do understand.

I am not saying that I don't understand.

I'm just saying like, even like somebody will put an offit on and people will be in the comments like is the outfit cute or is she just skinny?

And it's like, why can't it be both?

People love dragging a skinny beach because they're like, well, her life must be perfect, or she must not have no problems, or she must get dick every day. And it's like, whoa, my life is a mess?

Is that? What they say in your comments.

Is I don't know, not not my comments necessarily, but I'm saying like anytime somebody uh slender or slim does something, someone in the comments is like she's too skinny or why like, oh, she can wear that, but why not make this bigger? Like even brands will have people modeling things and they'll be like, well, what size does this go up to?

And this is big people of rasure.

And it's like you know this, you know this simple size, Like they only had a couple pieces of fabric together.

They put this together so you can see what it looks like.

Don't be mad at this brand or this person's body, like, you know, let let me be thin in peace.

Oh thin in peace?

Okay, that's another title, babe, thin.

In pieces wild. That's the name of my memoirs.

I I think for me, I used to say such wild things when I was younger, about just a state of anything everything, and now I'm like, yo, one wrong move and you might not have it like that, and so I'm trying to be more like light about things because.

I remember.

I remember I was in Zara and I'm a name names and I put on these genes and I just I just didn't I didn't feel good in it. And the woman next to me, like I came out and I was looking. I was like, oh, like, She's like, you look great, and I was like, I don't.

I don't.

I don't think this does anything for me. She's like, I would kill to have that body, and I'm like, okay, don't kill me right now, and like what what can I do? What can I do with that?

That that's how you feel about where you want your body be. I don't. I don't like this.

So it's kind of like we all need to take our own personal feelings to think and work on that, and we can't all just be projecting.

Because it's hard living in our bodies. Period. It's hard living in our bodies.

I think as and I'm gonna you know, I can only speak from a woman's perspective, but like you know, people have a lot to say about how we look, and we internalize things about ourselves, like my body now is not the way my body looked ten years ago, you know, so it things about my body that I don't like, and if I dare say something about it, people be like, what could you possibly have to complain about?

And it's like I live.

Here, I live here, Yeah, I live here, so let me live here.

That's also a good title. I live here. Yes, Okay.

Let's talk about makeup artists who posts before and after or like Durwan you know what I mean, Like, you get your hair done now because of TikTok. There's a camera with a ring light in your face. You get your makeup done now, there's a camera with a ring on it in your face. So this makeup artist posted the process of putting Glorilla's makeup on, and then Glorilla got mad at her.

Yeah, she posted it, and uh, you know it definitely it didn't seem like how a lot of makeup artists are just doing these time laps videos and it looked really professional. This feels like, girl, you was in the back of somebody's room just taking these videos likes yeah, bts, But it didn't. It seemed like she did it on an android, like I'm know, no shade, but it just didn't seem like properly lit or like some people don't have the BTS face. Some people you just you need

Just do my nails. Why you setting up the damn tripodter? Just do my nails right?

And so Gorilla was like, she's like I thought she did a bad job, or not a bad job, but she was kind of like dragging the makeup artists and she's like, but this is weird.

I told her I was up and coming, and she her friends that I did a good job.

But it's like, you posted this, what did you think?

She was gonna say, Well, I think the makeup artists got what they wanted. They went viral, wed viral, and now talking about it, and when it's the ending, the end result, I think it looks good.

She looks like how we usually see her.

So it's like, I mean, maybe the time laps should have been a little quicker, we shouldn't really have seen them before that long, because I think that's what people are are upset about.

But then there were then it was this discussion where they were like, well, they're saying that it doesn't look good because of Gorilla's features, like oh, because of her nose or the way like her her jaws is shaped. And it's like whoa, whoa, whoa, Hey, hey, it's none of that. It's like, hey, I some of us just feel more comfortable when it's already done.

I don't. I don't love my hands per se.

Like I hate when I'm getting my nails done and they take a picture at the end. I'm like, I know you're not gonna post this. My hands look kind of kind of elder. I know you're not gonna post older.

I know that the hands are giving step bushit me sometimes, so I know that I'm not gonna so stop taking pictures that you're not gonna poste.

That hurts my feelings too.

People take pictures of oh they did my hair, they did my makeup, and they don't post it. So why did you take this picture for a reference with a reference supposed to be online, so you don't like it.

I remember I got my my hair done at this place.

In this place, they literally post like good work or best work work that they did that day hair.

They did my hair and.

No, it didn't look good, but they took the picture, they did the video, and then they didn't post it. And I was like, I wonder why. I wonder why is that a drag on me or a drag on you because you didn't do a good job. And then I went back to that place and they did my hair get and I'm waiting.

I'm waiting. I'm like, are you gonna post what's up? You want? With your makeup done and everything? No, you went into full beat. I did not go on a full beat, but I had a concealer on. I had enough.

That's like, I had like a cute little track outfit where they could have did a little video and posted it in the stories.

Yeah, yeah, and they didn't do that. Some of us don't want it on.

But then if you make it a thing where we're posting everybody and then you don't post me, now I feel some type of.

Way everything doesn't need to be content. Everything doesn't need to be content.

You know. Yeah, I made an appointment to get When I went made an appointment to get my hair done, it was like at the very end, it was like, do you consent to being on video for disappointment?

And I said yes.

And then when I got there, the camera wasn't set up and I didn't say nothing because I was like, actually this, people don't. I showed up looking like Samuel Jackson in Django with the hair right here, and I said, yeah, they didn't need to see that before cause you know, I left my house with no hat, no bandana, no nothing, because I was like, oh, I'm just gonna run in and out. Yeah, I'm gonna run into the car and

I looked like a young Michael.

Jackson and it was dudes on the you know, it was dudes on the corner like looking at me while I'm trying to find this thing. My sister called me on WhatsApp and she was like damn. When she picked up and I was like, yeah, I gotta get inside.

Where is the door?

So you know, everything doesn't need to be posted, but also you should be able to sound like a little release or a waiver that's like I'm cool, would you posted me? Or I'm not.

Well.

Everybody also is trying to get their workout because now everything is like it's all social media based, like, oh, you'll probably go to somebody based off like how many people were commenting like oh I went here, this was great, like or somebody recommended you, and so you know, if if the work is.

Good and you post it, it might make people want to go.

But I remember I went to go see my friend to do my hair, and then at the salon somebody else was like doing eyebrows, and so she's like, oh, I'm gonna you know, I'll get you a hookup. They'll do your eyebrows. All you gotta do is tip them, and so then they do my eyebrows. I said, did you do my eyebrows?

I don't know. I didn't.

I didn't. Really, it wasn't difference. I didn't.

It was it was fine, it wasn't terrible, but it wasn't like it wasn't it didn't wow me. Right, I've gone and got my eyebrows or whatever done before, and I was like, damn, bitch, I look like a brand new girl.

It wasn't given that. So then the friend turns around, was like, hey, are you gonna post this person? I said, post what what is there to post?

Like if I post this, I don't know if this is going to bring this person any business, you know. And so then it was kind of like, oh, well, you know they feel some time it was like, well, yes you did, but I gave you a good tip or whatever. But it's also like, hey, we're in the business of if I pay you, that's that's it.

That's the pet transaction is over. Yeah, that's it.

Like I don't I don't have to tag everybody. I don't even tag friends of.

Mine who.

Yeah, the tagging thing is m m yeah yeah, because like I'm tagging you for is this a sponsored post?

Yeah? Because we're making money. That's the thing.

It's like, right now, this is the business of everything is could be payment in a way, like if you have followers, if you have people who come to your shows, like fans that are that ride or die that if you post that they're pulling up. So it's like, yeah, I want obviously want people to get business, but also I'm like, if I paid.

You, that's the business you got my coins.

No, but if I'm if I'm paying you for service, then that's And if somebody asked me like where did you get that or what is that, I'll tell them. But I'm not making a post for you on the page that says I went here and thank you for like this, like people brands pay for that, people spend money for that, Like you want me to send you my rate card?

Oh that was that.

It's crazy because that's an that's a part of this messy or living segment. This guy who is a like computer tech or whatever, like fixes computers. He's like, am I a bad person because my niece wants me to fix the computer for free? And it's like, hey, I already I hooked you up before. This is my actual job.

You have to pay me.

And it's like this is not mess creating a boundary with people that's.

Like, this is my job.

You need to give me money, right, maybe not full price, but you need to give me something.

No.

I think he was like, hey, I didn't, I didn't hooked you up enough. This is a your whatever happened when your computer is way beyond repair, like you really need to if you want me to work on it.

I need my full fee fee because it's not easy to fix a computer. I know I can't fix the computer. I'll be hit.

I'll be leaning on that power button hoping it restarts, and I'm like, and it comes back right.

I pray you'll be hoping that that little globe doesn't pop up when you restart the laptop.

When the little time the time thing comes up and it's like, oh the hour glass that when that hour glass show up, Hey, you might gone to the genius bar because your ship is done.

I did date a little nerd a little nerdy dude for a little while, and anytime I had any type of issue with tech or whatever, I would text him and or call him young and what he said, he would do it. He would try, Well, what was you was? You were y'all hook it up?

Yeah? I was literally I was literally sitting on him. Yeah he was fixed.

Listen, now, if I didn't hit you off with some good good you will not be getting a dime for me.

Oh baby, that is the payment. Hey, can you come pick up my laptop? It's not working, miss you.

I love that for you. No, I mean it's you know, it's it's dead and gone. But you know, we went, we've been through that. He's no longer my genius bar.

It's no longer my genius. Part is that's great. Okay.

So here's another one. This is This is from a minute ago. But it was really interesting because I was really surprised by this. Actually, Whoopy Goldberg was celebrating her birthday and she ordered like these specific like cakes from this bakery and it was like her, you know, a big birthday, and she you know, put in the order. I think she even said her name, and the bakery was like, oh, we can't do the cakes or blah blah blah, like we can't accommodate you or something of

This is weird. So then she got somebody else to do the order through another name, and they was able to accommodate her. So then she goes on.

To view and says what happened, And basically they found out who this bakery was, and all hell broke loose. I think the bakery like even is like suing her for deformation or whatever.

But she said their name. She never said their name. She never said her name.

But I I would like to be like, woop be I'm not going around. I know she was trying to be petty, but it's like, oh, you just not getting my business.

Like I was about to hit you off.

And if you're if your cakes are popping, you could get more promo. But she said that she thinks that they didn't want to do her cakes. Is they don't believe in her political views?

Oh yeah, maybe you know.

She does have a pretty loud view on the view. The view is the view she'd be viewing on the she got a view on the view. Don't nobody you like whoopy views? Whoopy is going to have a view. Whoopy has a view. The Whoope view is for real, the Whoopie view.

Like this, it's an all cap view. I think that we.

Go to the internet for so many things like if somebody do you wrong, if you in a barrelly you're like, I'm anna go live, or I'm a post on TikTok yah or or I have a TV show, I'm gonna talk about it, or we on the podcast we're gonna drag them. And it's like, when is there a line where you're like, actually, let's not let's not do that.

Why should there be a line. We live in a time where everybody's sharing everything about themselves. So what happened at your birthday party?

Like?

Show us like what's up and something? And I'll say this, Murray, would you like that?

If somebody comes to I don't know, your comedy show and they felt some type of way then they got online, was like a you want that?

Well what they say? What are you talking about? They didn't have a good time.

She caught me ugly. Well that's the brand, bab. I call everybody at the shows ugly and or poor. So you know I've done that in theaters with thousands of people in it. I'll be like, hey, ugly and they'd be like, we are ugly. So if you come into the show, that's what you're gonna get. But it's we're

She called him, but she just called him Legion. She called him Leegion, but that wasn't his real name.

Yeah.

And the girl who was dating the guy from the Man from Atlanta, she never said his name. She said, the man from Atlanta gave me this baby and left me high and dry, and then he took it upon himself to make a response video. And it's like you could have been anonymous. Like I think Legion came out and spoke out.

About what's her face?

That guy who did the Netflix show Baby Reindeer, the woman came out and said that she was assuming him.

He didn't use her real name. Everybody is watching.

These things and hearing these things and seeing this stuff go viral, and they're like, well, I want a piece of that pie. And it's like you could have just been embarrassed in the shadows, but you wanted to I don't know.

Embarrassed in the shadows is it's a tough one, embarrassed in the embarrassing in the shadows, because you're just like I want, I want to clear my name, but you don't need to. We don't know who you are until you tell us who I know who I am, and I need. I can't sleep at night because you didn't drag me from Selma and back.

But now you're embarrassed in the light. Wouldn't you rather be embarrassed in the shadows.

But the thing is is that you know the people online.

They are better private investigators than the private investigators when I tell you, they get on their zoom, they find out who you're talking about. Okay, if you do a little like you do a story time and you post like a little corner of a rest, they already know the restaurant, they know the coordinates, they know who is a chef that night.

People are wild.

So it's like you do kind of have to be careful with the way you present something because even if you don't say their name, we could do context clues.

We're not done.

We live in New York City and I think she came on the show and brought the actual case and they make the case specifically a certain way, and they were like, you bringing your product on our show and then saying that we didn't like you because blah blah blah. Now I love that. She's like, I have a show, How dare you not service me? You're insane? Actually I'm not mad at that.

Whoopy said, let me eat cake lets of marine antoinette.

She did what she needed to do. Should we read a message?

Yes, finally messages, got all messages, Let's do it.

Woo Okay.

The first one is titled Xes and Double Standards BS. Hey, ladies, I've got some mess for you and could really use some advice. I've been following you for years and I'm so happy for your success and all the positive vibes you put out.

You say, that's the name positive vibes. So's ugly vibes. No. So, here's the thing.

I've got a lot of mess in my life and I think it's all material for therapy.

But this one is juicy and I need your insight.

Now.

I don't think you're.

Supposed to view your life as material for therapy, but all.

That means you definitely need therapy. If you think your your stuff is material, are you a comedian? Because I actually I do like my therapy as materials. Okay.

I'm remarried with a baby, and I've been with my husband for almost four years.

He's also divorced, Okay, adults.

He still keeps in touch with his ex, though it's much less frequent now. I think she finally got the hint that he's moved on and needs to get on.

With her life for her content.

She's white, okay, though I mentioned this because I do feel like some of this behavior might be cultural.

Okay, because you know how they do.

In the past, she would randomly message him for all sorts of reasons, catching up, talking about her pet, complaining about it, hert toe, even needing help with.

Spotify to access old playlists.

I get it, some people can stay friends with their exes, but what really bothers me from an independent feminist perspective is the lack of respect she seems to have. She mentioned how much she misses spending time with him, his family, and their old trips together. Ooh, she wanted an old thing back. If I were in her shoes, I wouldn't be reaching out like that. I have too much pride. If someone divorced me, I want to move on and not keep clinging to the past.

Honestly, I dropped the last name too.

If I was dumped, the last thing I want is a reminder of that relationship. But what really gets me is that if she's okay with staying friends and reaching out, then I should be included in the conversation, especially.

Not her wanted to be added to a group chat.

She want to be the third god damn, she said, me and coach, especially when she once practically harassed him into staying at her place for wine and cookies.

He got weirded out by that and stopped engaging.

And I think she finally got the message she's trying to bang your man. Sis yes, and she's like, girl, you can't tell him trying to bang your man, stop getting in between cookies.

Woo woo pairs well with chocolate chip? Should lee like, girl? What? Yes?

You have a little burlow and a double chocolate little sugar cookie and.

Sugar cookie and Gruner is merch. Now fast forward.

He needed to return some of her stuff, and he was surprised by her cold response and that she didn't even want to ask about his new baby. Instead, he goes on to tell me how good and healthy she looks. If I said something like that about my ex, who, by the way, worked out every day, he would totally take offense and get jealous. But when I poke fun of him reacting to his story, I am expected to just NodD along. I've seen her picks from the messages he has shared with me how he has described her.

This is mess obviously, And and sister, you know that that's why you wrote this to us.

This is this is all on. This is how you can handle this.

I think as somebody who I famously am cool with my exes as a lesbian, but as a person who you know, understands boundaries.

I feel like he knows this is this is his mess. He needs to fix this.

He needs to either tell her, Hey, you're close to getting blocked.

My wife doesn't like this. This is not cool.

You have to contact me during business hours that's ten am to five pm. After that, there's no moss. Hey, what do you need? What are we doing here? Like you're just trying to chitchat? Yeah, we can't be chit chat?

Is it? Like? Is it my birthday? Your birthday? Like? Did your mom die?

Like?

What's up?

Like we're on a need to know basis every six months. This can't be a every month week. Why that's your toe hurt? She WoT him my toe her because you need to be back in my life. That's what she's trying to say.

You could heal my toe with a little bit of yo. No, I'm getting you know, the remedy for our toe that yeah, exactly.

So this is as much as you're getting upset, this is on him. You can't you can't even get mad at her because it's not he's not putting his foot down. She might not know how weird this is if he's not telling her, or if she's not even if he's telling her it's weird and she's not respecting that.

Yeah, he needs to block you. I don't do they They don't have kids together, do they? No?

I think so.

They're just they just used to be. Tell him to block her and see and then tell us what then?

Yeah, get back to us on that, because this is unacceptable and I'm I'm fully against. If you don't like it at all, then he shouldn't love it.

Oh, he shouldn't. I don't like it. He shouldn't love it. Nope, Okay, here's another one. Where is it at? Okay? Looking for advice? Hey sid Marie, longtime listener, first time emailer. Here's the deal.

A few months ago, I found myself in a pretty complicated spot. I'm in a relationship that started off amazing, but over time it became more and more tangled.

We'll call him James for the sake of clarity.

He's a great person and I love him, but we're just not clicking like we used to. To make things worse, I recently realize that I'm starting to develop feelings for someone else, Evan. Evan, you know, I'm not mad at men would ease you know. Evan is someone I met through work and we became close friends. It wasn't intentional, but as time has gone on, my feelings for him

Here's where it.

Gets even messier. I don't want to hurt James, and hurt him no, I'm kidding. He's such a kind and loving person and I don't want to be the one who ends things. But on the other hand, I feel like I'm not being fair to him, staying in a relationship where I'm not fully invested anymore. And on top of that, I feel like I'm betraying him by having feelings for someone else. I've talked talking to my friends about it, but their advice has been all over the place.

Okay, you know how your friends are.

You know when you tell your friends what they gonna tell you, it is usually stuff that you can't use. Some think I should be honest with James, while others tell me I should take a step back and sort out my feelings before making any decision. Here's the part that has me really stuck. What if I'm just chasing something that isn't real? What if this thing with Evan is just a distraction or worse, something I'm imagining to avoid facing the issues with James.

I feel so lost.

I don't want to hurt anyone, but I can't keep going like this either. Ooh the drama girl, you're writing this down? Thank you so much. How do I figure out whether I'm truly unhappy in my current relationship or if I'm just confused?

And what do I even do if I decide to end things with James?

How do I even handle that kind of conversation without causing irreversible damage? I know I'm not the only one. I know I'm not the only one who can make the decision, but I'm really struggling with where to go from here.

Any advice would be helpful.

Love you' so James, But they like Evan, but they don't know if Evan likes them.

Mh they you know.

It's that thing when you're like, I'm she might be getting something from Evan that she's not getting from James, so it feels more intense than what it really is.

Evan could just be like, yo, I'm just I'm just chilling with my homie like I usually do.

But he's you know, writing back, maybe a little bit quicker, or you know, making plans and things of the source.

So it's making her feel like.

Oh, we might got something going on, but you probably are just it's probably just a distraction.

But regardless of that, it's like you got it in one thing to do something else.

So it's clear that your heart is not with James, so you should move on.

Time is time is precious? Well, hold on, hold on, don't tell them to move on too quick. Do you live with James?

Oh, you're asking James paying the rent?

What where does Evan work? How do we know Evan?

From church? From school? From Does he live in the building? Like, because if you leave James, you moveing in with Evan?

Like what? What? Oh?

But it says James is a great person and I love him, but we're just not clicking like we used to. Is it like James has gotten comfortable he not planning date nights?

No more? Like is that a conversation that can happen and then we can?

Yeah, but you know, we get it, James, And you look at them at the sad of your eye, you're like like that, like if that and that happens, that happens where you don't where you fall out of love with somebody and you be looking at them like why did I even talk to you?

If you feel like that, that's.

Gonna be hard to come back from. I'm not even gonna lie.

No, it is when you got that fucking ich where you're like, how how did this start?

I'm not involved.

Well, that's how I know when something is over, Like when they start to look ugly to me, I'd be like, oh okay, I'm done it, and.

Hey, we gotta I think we got to move past this.

I don't want to hurt nobody. Hey, we grown people. Feelings, they gonna get hurt. We we're at the age where when just because your feelings hurt is hurt. It doesn't mean that what happened didn't need to happen. Listen, feelings are gonna get hurt. But you know what hurts more wasting that person's time.

That is always gonna hurt. The longer you.

Take to rip the band aid off, or the longer you take to realize what you want or don't want, the more that person is gonna be invested, so you gotta let them go.

It seems like, or maybe at least tell James like, hey, I'm not feeling X Y and Z.

Can you work on this?

Like give James a head out before you head out, like a little you know, you say, you're.

James head out?

No no, no oh, before you before you head out, give James a little you know, performance update.

Hey a performance review.

Yeah, you know you're you're right now, you're at a seven. You're at a seven, more like a six. You're at a six. No, you gotta start.

It's got to be like a like a like a compliment, sandwich, startup top. Something you love about James, Hey, babe, you know I really love that you're kind and loving. You're kind and loving and I love you. But you know, sometimes it seems like you take me for granted. You know, I'm in here cooking. You got me making alfredo every

I don't know whatever, but should we talk to Evan at all?

Don't tell Evan we talked because I have nothing to do with Evan, because it's like, even if you do, if you do feel like you should be with Evan or even interest in it, you got to finish the James thing.

You gotta finish the James before you can have your Evan.

Finish the James before you get to your Evan baby.

It is maybe it's Evan, a message in invisible ink, like what's up?

Or just the eyes the eye When you send those eyes, they know what's up. They secretly know what's up. You don't have to say much with the eyes. The eyes say every way, Heit send the eyes that be like, Wow, you did that.

Yeah, I mean it's another one, but I think we need to save it for next week. Yeah we should.

We need to save these messages. But you know, you guys are doing better. I'm proud of you. These were good messages. Wow, send us more.

How about that?

Is there anything anything we need to hit before we go friend, some things to add.

To the Yeah, oh yeah, we already.

You know.

I need an apartment, need more money, need to get organized, You need your papers in order, and let's put away. I'll put that down.

Yeah.

And I want less mess. I want more mess for the pod less mess in my life. How about that? Less a mess for sid And I want petty Sydney.

You want petty Sydney. Yeah, girl, you don't want me to be petty? Well, not pity with me, because I got I got something right now that I could be petty about.

But I'm not. I don't want to do it on air. Yeah. And on that note to be continued.

Okay, friend, love this for us.

James Mess with Sydney Washington and Marie Foston is a product by Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and iHeartRadio Podcasts, created and hosted by Sidney Washington and Marie Foston. Executive produced by Olivia Aguilar and Hans Sonny, super produced by Becca Ramos, edited and mixed by Brian Jeffries.

If you would like your messages read on air, please email us at messthopodcast at gmail dot com or call for your messages to be played at seven six three two eight zero six five eight eight