Raised in financial privilege but emotional poverty, the actor/writer/standup reflects on her "don't give a fuck" eating disorder, drug and alcohol years trying to stuff the real feelings of abandonment, not being good enough, anxiety, anger and feeling invisible especially in comparison to her golden-child brother. She gets honest about the "self-centered demon inside me" that drove her actions until sobering up almost 20 years ago and learning to deal with her insecurities, fears and anger by ...
Sep 15, 2017•2 hr 9 min
The actor/writer/comedian known for the Netflix show Love, the movie Inglourious Basterds and IFC's Comedy Bang! Bang! opens up about his battles with anxiety, OCD, taking on other people's emotions, people pleasing, wanting attention, shame, fear of letting people down and the role vulnerability and therapy have played in him finding emotional stability and peace. Follow Paul on Twitter @PaulRust Follow Paul on Instagram @PaulRust This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp online counseling. To tr...
Sep 08, 2017•2 hr
The author (Every Moment of a Fall: Recovery Thru EMDR Therapy) opens up in front of a live audience in Oakland about the years she abused herself through bad relationships, booze and sex before therapy and EMDR helped her confront her true feelings about her predatory father, passive mother, abusive step-father and the plane crash she survived as a 16 year-old. Visit Carol's website www.Carol-E-Miller.com Buy her book Every Moment of a Fall: Recovery Thru EMDR Therapy This episode is sponsored ...
Sep 01, 2017•2 hr 9 min
Paul's support group friend shares about recovery and battles with binge-eating, shame, compulsive exercise, not knowing what he looks like, porn addiction, love addiction, fear of leaving relationships, feeling like he "is enough", growing up in a family where one sibling takes up all the parents' attention and energy, surviving the suicide of his brother and the huge impact learning to be vulnerable has had on his healing and life in general. Find out more about Matt at: Youtube: www.youtube.c...
Aug 24, 2017•1 hr 31 min
YouTube personality Sarah Sterling is 26 and was obsessed with Harry Potter (and Disney) since day one. At a convention she met a singer who captivated her. He was 24 and she was 16. Looking back, she sees it as statutory rape and is processing that. What's possibly even harder to process for her is that she still hasn't told her overly-protective easily-overreactive mom. Sarah talks about how she has always felt the need to protect her mom from information that would set off her anxiety and the...
Aug 18, 2017•1 hr 23 min
Louise (a pseudonym) shares about the moment in her otherwise mostly happy childhood that things changed. She shares about the abuse at a posh Harry-Potteresque school when she was six by a headmaster who walked the dark halls with a torch; her mom's drinking, letting go of childhood shame, fear of conflict, how parents can support an abused child, when kids sexually abuse other kids, inner child work, Britain's NHS, and trying to cope with past trauma thru drugs and sex. This episode is sponsor...
Aug 11, 2017•1 hr 55 min
Why do some people enjoy physical pain or become aroused by it? For Kal, the discovery came with a lot of complications; he was a young boy and it was at the hands of a powerful and sadistic pedophile Rabbi (Heshy Brier) who is now a fugitive living in Israel. Kal shares about his years of self-destruction and bottoming out before eventually getting sober and starting the process of healing and advocating for other survivors. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp online therapy. To try a week ...
Aug 04, 2017•1 hr 38 min
Imagine getting gay hate mail from your own family. Or finding a letter where your parents talk about you in a way that confirms your worst fears. How does Bipolar 2 compare to having something like cancer? Comedian and author (How To Be Depressed: A Guide) Dana Eagle opens up about being a lonely kid in the 80s whose parents couldn't relate to her perhaps b/c her dad was alcoholic or her mom was thriving in her corporate job. Or is it genetic? Paul and Dana talk about art, comedy, shame, money,...
Jul 28, 2017•2 hr 15 min
He's authored Grammy-nominated hits for the biggest artists, put out his own albums, written best-selling books on baseball, and directed a documentary on the Beatles. And for as long as he can remember he has struggled with anxiety, panic attacks and feeling disconnected. What happens when you're achieving your dreams but you haven't dealt with the feelings underneath the drive to be recognized? Seth got his masters in clinical psychology. He opens up about his life and his approach to dealing ...
Jul 14, 2017•2 hr 10 min
Fat-shamed as a child by her mother and classmates, writer-performer Chelsea Frank, now 24, opens up about the complex role food plays in her life. She talks about her struggles with weight, self-hatred, bingeing and restricting, going to "fat camps", life inside an eating disorder rehab and cutting contact with her abusive mother. Follow Chelsea on Twitter @ChelseaSFrank and on Instagram @ChelseaFrank This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp online counseling. To try a free week go to www.Better...
Jul 07, 2017•2 hr 36 min
Creative and sensitive, born and raised in 1980's communist East Germany by a dysfunctional family, Anne's abuse was not dramatic, more like death by 1000 cuts. Bearing the brunt of being a first child and resented for her intelligence, she developed BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) but has always turned the anger inwards, rarely if ever lashing out. She talks about the benefits of learning DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) as well as her struggles with anorexia, bingeing, cutting and bein...
Jun 30, 2017•2 hr 15 min
What goes on in someone when they're jealous, possessive, obsessive or need to create drama? Mila was born into a family where her parents "couldn't live with/couldn't live without each other" and she found herself as an adult becoming like them, She also began snooping on her partners and engaging in online and in-person affairs despite knowing better and wanting to stop but unable to leave her cold and uninterested husband. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp online counseling. To try a we...
Jun 23, 2017•2 hr 30 min
19 year-old JT shares about the crippling anxiety, panic attacks and fear of abandonment he tried to alleviate for years through being hostile and controlling (of course it backfired) before finally deciding to get help. He shares with Paul the painful working-class childhood he had including the death of his parents when he was 8 and embracing his sexuality at 16. He talks about the importance mindfulness has played in helping him find the peace that has allowed him to deal with his anxiety. Th...
Jun 16, 2017•1 hr 50 min
Christina L (a pseudonym) shares about learning to stand up for herself after an abusive rehab therapist preyed on her as she was getting sober and the confusion of not knowing what he was doing was wrong. She shares about her dysfunctional family, being bullied by boys in middle school, binge eating, and always being the "good child" by never making waves (unlike her sister who got most of the attention through speaking up or getting in trouble) but also never learning how to talk to her parent...
Jun 09, 2017•2 hr 14 min
LMFT therapist Katie Vernoy and Paul respond to listener questions around the topics of 1) How childhood sexual abuse affects the survivors when they become adults and 2) How can people avoid job or helping burnout. They talk about the specifics of self-care and coping tips, acceptance vs approval, forgiveness, anger, misguided generosity, overprotective parents, people who can't say no and is it possible for a younger child to sexually abuse an older child? Katie's website: www.evolvetothriveco...
Jun 01, 2017•2 hr 10 min
The Australian professional trombonist shares about the mental, emotional and logistical rigors of making a living as a classical musician and some insights into what drove him (and his peers) to such obsessive lengths. We get a peek behind the curtain into the dysfunction and sickness that can fester in such a high-pressure workplace and the poor coping mechanisms used by people who were raised to stuff emotions and just achieve to receive love. We touch on depression, anxiety, therapy, people ...
May 26, 2017•2 hr 27 min
Rhonda says "It took me 20 years to get thru that day" as she opens up about the event that changed her life forever when she was 14 years old. She talks about how it changed her view of God, herself and the world around her, sending her on a path or self-destruction she barely survived until finally dealing with the pain and anger, eventually healing and finding her life's purpose. Follow Rhonda on twitter @RhondaBritten Check out her websites for the course she mentioned www.fearlessliving.org...
May 19, 2017•2 hr 47 min
Dr. Feinblatt shares her experience as a therapist in working with co-dependent clients; how is co-dependency defined, what are some characteristics and how can it be treated or managed? She also shares about the importance of codependents learning about setting, enforcing and respecting boundaries. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp online counseling. To experience a free week go to www.BetterHelp.com/mental In addition to her private practice Dr. Feinblatt also works at Westside Treatment...
Apr 30, 2017•2 hr 3 min
Rarely do we talk about the spouse of someone battling a serious mental illness. Mark and Giulia had never heard of Bipolar I with psychosis until she broke from reality well into their marriage. Taped in front of an audience in Oakland, they bare their souls about the pain and confusion of her treatment and Mark realizing how much help spouses also need. Check out Mark's new book My Lovely Wife in the Psych Ward Visit his website www.MarkLukach.com This episode is sponsored by Blue Apron. To ge...
Apr 30, 2017•1 hr 46 min
Paul's support group friend has led an astoundingly painful life especially in regard to his mother (schizophrenia, depression), father (workaholic, hoarder), and sister (drug addict). He describes his descent into drugs (crack), emotionally damaged women and violence before finding the key to understanding his behavior. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. To see if online counseling is right for you go to www.BetterHelp.com/mental and experience a free week. Must be 18. This episode is spo...
Apr 28, 2017•1 hr 48 min
The comedian/storyteller (The Moth) shares about her whirlwind 86 day romance that led to a Vegas wedding to a man who soon turned into a man she didn't recognize, leaving her in fear for her life. Jenna talks about her experience escaping from domestic violence and stalking, especially how family and friends reacted in terms of supporting her (or not). She also shares about having to cut her mercurial, often emotionally abusive mother out of her life and the freedom she feels in learning how to...
Apr 21, 2017•1 hr 58 min
The comedic writer/performer and mental health advocate who started www.projecturok.org shares about the tremendous support she received from her family when depression anxiety and OCD had her close to suicide by age 10, and even more despondent from 15-17. Her story is a great example of parental support, the power of coping skills, and proof that even people from safe supportive homes with no trauma in their lives can suffer from mental illness because the issue is often one of chemical imbala...
Apr 14, 2017•2 hr 18 min
For most of his life Mike has been wracked with shame and self-hatred, convinced he was the worst person ever and fantasizing about suicide when he was hospitalized at 15. He and Paul talk about where his self-hate may come from as well as his ADHD, emotionally sterile and achievement-focused childhood, body dysmorphia, cross-dressing, kink as a submissive male, and how he finally summoned the courage and self-love to end an abusive friendship. Mike is a great example of someone learning to embr...
Apr 06, 2017•2 hr 23 min
It wasn't until she began to literally pull chunks of her hair out she knew she might be battling something out of her control; postpartum depression. She talks about her battles with cyclical depression starting at an early age, being an only child with depressed, anxious and angry parents, not feeling seen or heard and being a high-bottom alcoholic who finally sobered up instead of self-medicating. She also touches on her body issues and how it was exacerbated during her few years as a model. ...
Mar 31, 2017•2 hr 27 min
How does a family deal with its secrets? The PhD opens up about the inter-generational rage brewing beneath the surface of her extended family and the difficulty in trying to cope when favorites are played, a mother feels jealous of her daughter, trauma isn't discussed, emotions are stuffed and through depression a smile is mustered for the unsuspecting outside world. Patricia can be reached at her website www.PatriciaMcKee.com and on Twitter @Patricia_McKee This episode is sponsored by Stamps.c...
Mar 24, 2017•2 hr 20 min
The 29 year-old trans woman dispels myths about what it means to be trans, including those she used to believe. She shares about hormone therapy, gender reassignment surgery, the prejudice and stigma of "passing", feeling dysphoric growing up, coming out in her Indiana hometown and her upbringing by an overprotective mother, an absent father, an alcoholic and emotionally abusive stepfather. Follow Olivia on Twitter @hitherehaidar Follow her on Instagram @ohaidarling Follow her on Facebook at www...
Mar 16, 2017•2 hr 36 min
Laura J. shares about contracting herpes by being date-raped and how she has navigated managing it logistically, sexually and emotionally with partners, including her husband. She was raised in an emotionally cold home by a psychiatrist father and image-obsessed mother. Her mother's response when Laura would say "I love you" has only ever been "thank you". Laura shares about having Bipolar 2, codependency, fear of intimacy, occasional paranoia, an eating disorder (compulsive eating), multiple st...
Mar 09, 2017•3 hr 1 min
Paul's fellow support group friend shares about the huge role fantasy has played in her struggle to accept life; especially her love addiction. She talks about being unable to watch lesbian films in moderation (she is a lesbian) and how the CPTSD from her physical (and emotional) trauma at birth and being raised in an emotionally stifled home (where success was the only thing that mattered) have made intimacy and trust difficult especially with her struggles with low self-esteem. Inspired to hel...
Mar 03, 2017•2 hr 33 min
The co-host of YouTube's Pauly & Monks show shares about feeling unlovable, not being a good enough partner, trying to always "fix" other people, having to be an adult in his family at nine, learning to equate money with love and being rejected by relatives for being gay. Oh and his Bruce Willis-admiring grandfather shooting his grandmother. Follow Pauly on Twitter @PaulyDavid and Instagram @PaulyDavid1 Check out the Pauly & Monks show on YouTube and on Twitter @PaulyandMonks Visit them ...
Feb 22, 2017•2 hr 48 min
The Moth Grand Slam winner, standup and podcaster (Hopefully We Don't Break Up) shares about being raised by Italian immigrant parents who worried a lot and her "high school brain" that still worries about being left out or gossiped about. Follow Giulia on Twitter @GiuliaRozzi Visit her website www.GiuliaRozzi.com Check out her podcast www.HopefullyWeDontBreakup.com Follow her on Instagram www.instagram.com/grozzi This episode is sponsored by Young Health's Probimune. Sign up for automated deliv...
Feb 17, 2017•2 hr 27 min
