Why You Feel Frumpy, Fluffy & Tired After 40 (Here's How to Fix It) | D. Betty Reveals

Are you feeling frumpy, fluffy, and tired after 40? I want you to know you're not alone. And when you watch this, you're going to get the answers you need. So if you're over 40...

In many cases, sometimes it feels like someone switched off your body overnight, your metabolism took a nosedive, you're exhausted by mid-afternoon, the clothes are fitting tighter around the hips, thighs, and abdomen, and... you really don't feel like yourself anymore and you probably feel like you're running on empty.

No matter how much you sleep, you might lay down for seven, eight, nine hours, but chances are you probably didn't sleep through the night, or it often feels like Groundhog Day by the next time you wake up.

So I'm Dr. Betty Murray, and I've been in practice over 20 years, both as a clinician in a integrative functional medicine clinic that I started over 20 years ago. And I've started my own telemedicine company and technology company called Minerva. and we are treating women across all 50 states with bioidentical hormones. helping women go through perimenopause, menopause, and beyond. And here's what I know in the tens of thousands of women I've worked with over two decades.

there are significant things that happen. And one of the things that most women tell me is, oh my God, Betty, I am doing everything right. I'm eating right, getting my macros, eating protein. I'm working out. I'm doing high intensity, but my body isn't responding. And here's what I tell them. Here's the thing. You are not broken.

Your body is protecting you and you're not lazy. It's not also just about getting older. Your body is actually working against you, not with you. And there are major shifts that happen.

is the change in your hormones. And that means that you are not in the same metabolic state. So the change in hormones that you're experiencing is the trip. of perimenopause to menopause so most women start in their mid 40s however some of us like myself got to experience that early in life and i actually started experiencing menopausal symptoms in my late 30s. And so it doesn't necessarily mean that it can't show up earlier.

And here is what's really happening. You're experiencing a shift in your major sex hormones, estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone. They don't decline at the same rate. But their change and decline slows our metabolism. It affects our powerhouse, our mitochondria. It affects our other hormones like thyroid and cortisol. And all of that is actually causing a major shift in your body. and your symptoms are speaking to you.

So what I'm going to cover today is exactly what's happening and exactly what you need to do and how you need to address it to get your metabolism back on gear, start feeling like yourself and be less exhausted. And by the end of this video, you'll understand exactly what you need to do. So before I dive deep, here's the wake up call. I want you to comment below and tell me what's your biggest energy drain.

Tell me right now, what is the thing that drains you the most? Is it a 3 p.m. crash? Is it your lack of sleep or insomnia? Even like you fall asleep, but you can't stay asleep. Or maybe it's you go to sleep for eight hours and you wake up and it doesn't feel like you slept. Or maybe you're wired and tired. Tell me what those experiences are because this helps me create content just for you.

I want you to know this isn't rare. Again, this is something that's well known. Perimenopause and menopause, guess what? You don't get a pass on menopause. Every woman goes through it. It just depends on how symptomatic you are as to how much you recognize it. But we all go through menopause. And so when we talk... Later on in this video, I'm going to share exactly what you need to know.

Why does your body feel like a stranger? So here's exactly what's happening in your body and it makes it feel so different at 40. I want you to think of your metabolism as this really fine-tuned orchestra. For decades, all of the instruments, the drums, The drums, the wind section, the brass section are all in harmony. That's your hormones, your thyroid, your adrenals, your sex hormones. And they've all been playing in perfect harmony. And then all of a sudden, in perimenopause,

When your ovaries start to lose capacity for ovulation, our fertility takes a nosedive, but we also start to lose the production of these hormones. And that's like the conductor left the building and left all of those different systems. in orchestra pieces to play on their own. And everybody's been playing a slightly different song. So here's the first thing you got to know.

Your hormone symphony is changing and it changes a little bit from day to day and time to time, but it is definitely not the same hormone symphony that you had at 20 and 30. Progesterone is the first one to decline. That is your calming hormone. It's your relaxing and sleep hormone. It's what controls body temperature to keep your core body temperature cooler so you can sleep through the night. So often you get insomnia where you wake up and stay up in the middle of the night.

and progesterone as it declines we're more likely to feel anxiety ruminating thoughts agitation. And so when your progesterone starts to decline, it also throws off cortisol because cortisol's job is to also balance with progesterone. declining level of progesterone, we have excessive cortisol relation to it too. The other thing that can happen is if you're under a lot of psychological stress,

Cortisol is actually downstream from progesterone. So it is actually made from the metabolism of progesterone. And your body will do a thing called the cortisol or progesterone steal. And it basically says, hey. I don't need to make progesterone. I'm stressed out. I'm going to make cortisol. And what that does is it disrupts your sleep, disrupts your moods, and makes your body more likely to store fat at the same time.

Number two, your metabolic engine is shrinking. You're losing about three to 8% of your muscle mass per decade, right? So for every muscle we lose, we use metabolic fire. every pound of muscle will burn an extra 100 to 150 calories per day. So if I lose three to 8% of my muscle mass for each decade, i'm losing muscle mass which means i'm not as metabolically sound and this accelerates dramatically after 40 with the loss of estrogen

So muscles aren't just about strength. It's about glucose utilization, your blood sugar. And so if you don't have a really strong metabolic furnace and you don't have good muscle mass, you will be less capable of burning sugar from your bloodstream. And that's your major area. More muscle means more metabolic strength, better glucose control, and better glucose disposal. When you can't dispose of glucose, you store it. And that we don't want. Now, next one, number three.

Your energy factories are aging, right? They're getting older. This is your mitochondria, your powerhouse. This is the powerhouse of the cell. When the powerhouse of the cell becomes less efficient, we get less efficient at producing energy. So how does that show up? we get brain fog fatigue decision fatigue we get

Feeling heavy in our body, not having the energy to get up and do the things you need to do every day, lack of motivation. And when they become less efficient, this is why your sleep can often make you feel tired even though you slept. is because you're not producing enough energy. And this makes your tasks that you normally could handle seem very, very overwhelming.

So your mitochondrial powerhouse is running on empty. I like to say it's kind of like you're driving a 1987 Yugo instead of a brand new Lamborghini, right? So powerhouses are really important.

Now, the other thing that we see all the time, this is a biggie in every woman, but I'd say it's worse in this time period of life because we often have children that are grown or almost grown. empty nesting, we often are taking care of family members and other things, and we might be at the pinnacle of our career and other more stressful time periods. And your stress response in this time period is often stuck in overdrive. So everything that we do, all the caregiving, everything on our plate

adds to cortisol levels and adrenal output that is chronically elevated. When we have chronically elevated cortisol, our sleep is unrestorative. our blood sugar control becomes less controlled and we become more insulin resistant. We lose muscle mass. We actively break down muscle and it promotes fat storage, particularly around the midsection, which we don't want.

And we can even see things like hair loss and increase in edema or storage of water. So you'll see like your fingers being more swollen or swelling around the eyes. And all of that excess stress leaves us feeling wired and tired and it actively causes the breakdown of muscle and the storage of fat. So every hormone in your body gets... an impact when cortisol has been elevated for a long time.

Think of that as the orchestra percussion section. The percussion actually sets the speed for the orchestra. So cortisol is that primary player and it will mess with your other hormones. So if you're in perimenopause,

cortisol just makes it worse. Now, what does conventional medicine say about this? Well, you've been told to eat less, exercise more, just push through. Don't worry about it. It doesn't work after 40. But here's the thing. eating less working out more especially doing more cardio or unrestorative exercise actually makes things worse

Most doctors operate from this like 1990s or actually prior to that 1970s and 80s metabolism picture. They think calories in, calories out are all that matters, that the hormones don't play a role. Now, here's the thing. Your calories count. But how your body metabolizes a carbohydrate, a fat, and a protein is very, very different. And whether your body has good insulin sensitivity or good estrogen control.

good muscle mass, good mitochondrial function will all drive that either to excess or make it less capable of doing its job. So the idea that you just do calories in calories out really doesn't work. they run basic labs your conventional doctor will run a metabolic profile and a blood count

which only show pathology. Like if those things are significantly off, there's some disease state, but it's not showing you anything truly about your metabolism, doesn't show you anything truly about your hormones or your metabolic rate. or your mitochondrial function, it's inadequate and inappropriate to run. So they call you normal and then they send you on your way. Or they probably give you an antidepressant prescription because they think it's all in your head.

The starvation response trap is real when you drastically cut calories, particularly after 40. Your body doesn't just burn fat, it freaks out. it panics your metabolism will slow down to conserve energy and it doesn't take long to do that which makes us more insulin resistant because the body says hey

You're not giving me food. So when you do give it to me, I'm storing it. I'm saving it for later. And we start to lose precious muscle mass and your metabolism slows. So if you're resting metabolic rate is, let's say, 1300 calories a day. prolonged fast or a significant reduction in calories can slow it down to 1200, 1100. It doesn't take much to slow that down in the body's response.

Your thyroid function will also decrease. Your body will decrease active T3 hormone in response to starving. So it actually slows your primary... hormone of metabolism at the same time. So you're teaching your body to actually survive on less. So restriction is not a good idea for long term weight loss and weight management.

We can use short-term restrictions, fasting and other things like that, but you cannot do long-term restriction. And if you are a cardio fiend, a cardio dance, whatever it is that you're doing, cardio. done to excess actually exacerbates muscle loss, increases the loss of muscle mass and makes you less, less metabolically sound.

It may make you feel virtuous and it may give you that buzz, like a runner's buzz, but it elevates your cortisol, increases insulin resistance and muscle breakdown and muscle tissue, and it actually reduces muscle mass. You will run off your muscle, not put it on. We have to lift weights. So I see women running themselves in the ground literally, and I get it. I like to bicycle. Bicycling's my like jam, but it is not my primary exercise. It's something I add on.

in small amounts that is appropriate for my metabolic state at 56. Now, the other thing is everybody's got hormone blindness, right? If you're not paying attention to hormones and your practitioner isn't paying attention to hormones, They are missing the point. Most approaches completely ignore the hormonal chaos of perimenopause and menopause. And willpower is not going to walk you through a progesterone deficiency. An herb.

is not going to help restore your ovarian function and your estrogen levels. You have lost the capacity as you go through menopause to produce those hormones. Believe me, I have two masters and a PhD in human nutrition science, integrative and functional nutrition. and biochemistry. And I can tell you there is no herb on the planet that will restore ovarian function back to previous levels. Your egg carton is empty by the time you're in menopause. You cannot build it back.

You can't build progesterone out of ovaries that are no longer functioning. So the hormone blindness that comes out of ignoring hormone structure and function in a perimenopause and menopausal diet. is going to make the all-out insulin resistance, stress chemistry, and all of that worse. So we can't positive think our way out of a thyroid deficiency. This is about...

very, very common. I'm going to tell you about a patient named Sarah. So Sarah felt like she was fighting an uphill battle. She was using strategies designed for a 25 year old. She went to her gym, started working with a trainer. He had her doing high-intensity interval training three times a week plus weight training and following up the weight training and the interval with cardio on a treadmill after the exercise, telling her she would burn additional fat.

She would feel exhausted by midday. She would try and stay on her diet. They put her on a relatively low-carb diet. and told her to eat three meals and one snack a day. But she found almost every afternoon that she was craving something sweet. She just really needed something to give her a boost of energy. She'd have a little bit of coffee and a little bit of something sweet.

to make it through the day. And what was happening is they were taking a 45 year old woman and giving her a classic 25 year old weight training, you know, mass produced diet that is used for young people. She was overtraining in the gym. She was creating more insulin resistance and cortisol resistance, burning off the muscles she just tried to put on, and she was under fueling in her meals, which caused her to want...

more carbohydrates and that sweet thing in the afternoon and she wasn't getting enough food. So the problem was, is she was trying to run new software on different older hardware and it doesn't work that way. So let's get through the few myths. So here's the first myth, right? This is what keeps you stuck. I just need more willpower. Okay, that's complete and utter BS. Every woman who's ever done a diet has the best willpower on the planet. You all do.

There's no master willpower that somebody has. Your hormones are working against you because we are aging, right? our lifespan is usually not over 50, right? It's only been in the last 125 years of human history that we've been able to add 30 to 35 years. postmenopausally. Our body hasn't caught up to that longevity. And our willpower is irrelevant when our hormones are at play. So it's not the right strategy, right? You don't need strength. You need strategy. Now, myth number two.

This is just what happens when you age. That is also BS. What does happen... is we do have to change the strategy that we use and we can't reuse strategy that we had at 25. It no longer works. It's a different software for a different hardware. Some changes are totally natural, but feeling exhausted, brain fog, gaining weight.

fluffy middle section, bloating, and fatigue are not a guarantee. That is not an absolute of aging. With the right approach, you can feel better today at 50 than you did at 30. I do. I feel better at 56 than I felt at 40. And a lot of it was getting the right strategies for my body. So as you're listening to this, I want to remind you, don't forget to subscribe because I don't want you to miss the next videos that we go into even deeper demonstration of what you need to do.

So go ahead and subscribe right now. Now let's talk about your next step. So here's what I want you to remember. First off, you're not broken. You are not destined to feel tired, fatigued, fluffy, and struggling with your weight just because you're over 40. Your body.

is incredibly intelligent. And when you understand that this new phase of life has a new set of hormones and you give it the right support, and it really means that you're doing the right diet lifestyle and support for your hormones, your body will accommodate that.

It's not protecting you anymore from the system that is no longer being supported. The exhaustion you're feeling, the changes in your body, the sense that something is off are not character flaws. They're your body's way of telling you you need a...

different approach and different support than what you're used to and if you start with one change okay let's start with the most important And it would be adding something so very simple that you've probably heard a thousand times, but it's adding more protein at breakfast.

Why do we do that? It stabilizes your blood sugar. So you have better blood sugar control throughout the entire day. The other thing adding protein does at breakfast, particularly if it's a large amount, so 30 grams would be the minimum I would shoot for 50. is it also helps you build muscle. Recent research shows that we're not that good at building muscle and it takes a lot of protein in the morning and a lot of protein at the last meal that actually helps you build muscle. So get it in early.

Do it then. It could be easily like adding a little bit of a protein shake to an existing breakfast of eggs and avocado and spinach and tomatoes. Just getting a little extra protein in that morning. It's going to start improving your underlying... metabolic function, which helps your metabolism, which helps your mitochondria. So maybe you're already doing that. So the next thing might be, hey, I'm going to go to bed 30 minutes earlier tonight because maybe I stay up till 1130, 12 o'clock.

And if I went to bed earlier, I would hit that circadian rhythm at a better time. I would get a little better sleep. Small, consistent action outperforms hardcore willpower for a short period of time, every time. Now. If you want to dive deeper and you want to really understand exactly what's happening with your metabolism, your hormones, I've created the Fierce Female Method book for longevity.

It's a comprehensive guide to optimizing your energy, your body composition after 40. And it also has all of those great tools that you've been reading about and what really works for women and especially women over 40. might be a big part of your fatigue and weight struggles, I want you to head on over to Minerva. So Minerva is a telemedicine company. We actually

provide bioidentical hormone replacement and treatment for perimenopause and menopausal women across the entire United States. We help you optimize your hormones and metabolism with a science-based approach, not guesswork. Remember feeling energetic and inspired is not just for young women. With the right understanding and support, you can have the best years ahead of you. And if this really resonates with you.

Share it with a friend who might be struggling. So together we rise. And I want to thank you for watching and I'll see you in the next video where we're going to dive a little bit deeper.