More Germans can't live on their wages, but the new minimum wage commission has decided to raise it, erm, minimally — ensuring another neoliberal wet dream this weekend for BlackRock Chancellor Friedrich Merz. Meanwhile, Olaf Scholz gets a shiny new office (but what for?), the Bundestag president is unnecessarily mean to the LGBTQ community, and we can confirm that former Health Minister Jens Spahn is indeed a wanker. All in a day's work for the Megacanners. Cheers! Megan's Megacan theme song by...
Jun 27, 2025•38 min
While one part of the German government tries to decide whether it's against international law to be sending weapons to a country that has started a war while committing genocide, another department is trying to figure out why one in four immigrants wants to leave the country. Meanwhile, we've apparently decided that enough Nazis are dead now so it's ok to have a military veterans' day. Plus, a tiny morsel of good news about urban speed limits. Cheers! Megan's Megacan theme song by Eden Ottignon...
Jun 18, 2025•34 min
The season of Jesus-bothering holidays is upon Germany, so the Megacanners honour the upcoming Pentecost by imbibing an appropriately sacred beverage: A Gordon's G&T. Meanwhile, the AfD begins to see the light about Russia as does Merz about Netanyahu — a bit late to the party, lads, I'm afraid the buffet's all gone — and there's some actually quite good news from the German courts! Hallelujah. Megan's Megacan theme song by Eden Ottignon from Planet OTT...
May 31, 2025•39 min
It's been a funny old fortnight: Friedrich Merz trips over the doorstep to the chancellor's office, Bärbel Bas buggers the Beamtes, Christian clips a canine, and Germany gets its own little Elon to get rid of all of those distracting human rights and climate laws. Luckily, Germany's soldiers remember to tick the correct boxes on the Are-You-A-Nazi questionnaire. Thank God for those canned Martinis. Assume the position! Megan's Megacan theme song by Eden Ottignon from ...
May 17, 2025•54 min
New German Chancellor Friedrich Merz has picked his cabinet, and filled it with people like him, cos he’s so great: Getting a team of CEOs and lobbyists to run the country is bound to restore people’s faith in democracy. Not only that, Merz has had a brilliant idea: If we shit on immigrants even more it’ll definitely get people to stop voting for the AfD — why didn’t anyone think of that before? Speaking of which, the AfD gets a new rating on Germany’s official Nazism scale and 25% of Germans st...
May 05, 2025•42 min
It's Easter, which means it's time for fertility rituals, chocolate bunnies and historic peace deals — at least it used to be. Peace seems a long way off, no matter how many Germans go marching for it this weekend, and as for chocolate bunnies, well, they look a bit too Muslim for the AfD. Meanwhile, Friedrich Merz, Markus Söder, and the SPD agree a new coalition contract — no rush, lads — and Konrad goes on holiday to hospital. Nurse? I'll have my drugs now, please! Megan's Megacan theme song b...
Apr 18, 2025•41 min
Slightly different megacan this week, as writer turned evac medic Howard Hunt joins Megan and Konrad once again for an update from the Ukraine war zone – with tales of impossibly brave men with no legs, skies filled with drones, how to drive an ambulance on hilariously bad roads in the dark, and other scenes from the edge of the precipice. Meanwhile in Germany, it seems some in the CDU think that, actually, being dependent on Russian gas might not be so bad after all. What the fucking actual fuc...
Apr 03, 2025•55 min
Friedrich Probably-Next-German-Chancellor Merz has decided that actually, if you think about it, billions in state debts are great after all — and don't worry about anything he might've said before the election — because what if we want to build tanks in Volkswagen factories? Also, who knew Hubert Aiwanger would turn out to be a massive weasel, more evidence that Germany needs more immigrants, and the results of Megan's citizenship test revealed. Woohoo! Megan's Megacan theme song by Eden Ottign...
Mar 23, 2025•36 min
It's the end of an era: Scholz, Habeck, and friend of the pod Christian Lindner have all had their last Absacker and stumbled out into the night — you can still hear them arguing in the distance in a cloud of mutual acrimony. Hey, we just let the market regulate itself, Christian! But spare a thought for Megan, who has to learn a whole new set of German politicians' names. At least Merz will be easy to remember (it rhymes with Schmerz). And there was good news too: Arch-splitter Sahra Wagenknech...
Feb 26, 2025•38 min
This week, German TV producers finally came to their senses and invited Megan's Megacan to make its debut on a politics chat-show. As Megan was providing silent commentary over chief twat Hubert Aiwanger's shoulder, Konrad found out whether football fans can save Germany from fascism. Then they scramble around for good news for our "clutching at straws" section. Yes! Megan's Megacan theme song by Eden Ottignon from Planet OTT Buy us a round, as...
Feb 15, 2025•41 min
This week, the German parliament marks Holocaust Memorial Day with a special tribute to the makers of the Holocaust, as Friedrich Merz reneged on his own promise from two months ago and made common cause with fascists to degrade the German constitution. Meanwhile, Megan and Konrad review election campaign posters and cling helplessly to their brand new good news section. Resistance! Megan's Megacan theme song by Eden Ottignon from Planet OTT Buy u...
Jan 31, 2025•46 min
This week, your favourite can-drinking podcasters subjected themselves to an hour of lies and awkward flirting — thanks to top fascist Alice Weidel and billionaire philosopher Elon Musk, who revealed his vulnerable, damaged soul. Speaking of enablers, the bourgeoisie give the fascists a leg-up in Austria, as they do, and democratic society is once again undermined. Woohoo! Happy 1933! Megan's Megacan theme song by Eden Ottignon from Planet OTT Buy us...
Jan 11, 2025•44 min
Getting one more row done for 2024, Chancellor Scholz confronted the Bundestag this week to confirm that yes, they really didn't think he could run the country anymore. So the members convened to shout at each other one last time and get their Christmas ducks in a row in time for the New Year election campaign. Meanwhile, the AfD is sticking to its anti-European roots, while appealing to the racist side of people of all colours. That's the festive spirit! Ho ho ho! Megan's Megacan theme song by ...
Dec 19, 2024•42 min
It turns out that serial coalition breakers the FDP were planning to break up the German government weeks ago, much to the surprise of no one except party leader Christian Lindner, who definitely had no idea about the weirdly militaristic D-Day paper — even though his best mate wrote it. Meanwhile, forget about coming to Berlin to make art — the new government here has decided that austerity is a brilliant idea and always wins. Oh well, at least Megan and Konrad have some festive tips to ease yo...
Dec 06, 2024•41 min
There's a Christmas election campaign ahead, and it looks like the SPD is going to let Olaf Scholz deliver their presents one last time. Meanwhile, Robert Habeck is convinced that the path to victory goes via coy, night-time kitchen-table videos. Plus, why Germany's medical system has a language problem, what the CDU is planning for unemployment benefit, and the next way-stage on Megan's road to Germanness. Hooray! Megan's Megacan theme song by Eden Ottignon from Planet OTT...
Nov 22, 2024•51 min
Reeling from the impending demise of western democracy, Megan put her phone away for half an hour to have a nice glass of wine — but then Chancellor Scholz chooses that very moment to finally sack that annoying wanker who's been ruining everyone's life and blow up the coalition. Konrad tries to piece the gossip together, while the Bundestag decides now is a good time to Germansplain antisemitism to us. In response to this spectacularly shite week, Megan pulls the emergency brake and officially i...
Nov 09, 2024•46 min
We're deep into October, so there's only one thing for it — a trip to Captain Morgan's Mojito island. Elsewhere, in the world of horrors we call reality, Germany has decided it's ok to send weapons to Israel as long as they promise not to do anything bad with them. And there's more advice from Megan on how to navigate the insanity of bureaucracy and getting that all important B1. Avast me hearties! Megan's Megacan theme song by Eden Ottignon from Planet OTT Bu...
Oct 19, 2024•44 min
Yes indeed, we've finally made it through all of this year's German state elections. No more horrible people upending the political landscape until after Christmas. Still, as the Germans say, now we have the salad, and Chancellor Olaf Scholz has a lot on his plate — yet seems convinced he can still win next year. Also, there's the strange case of Germany's disappearing arms exports to Israel, and Megan's special citizenship advice corner… Salut! Useful citizenship links from Megan: Language Scho...
Sep 28, 2024•45 min
Recording live with Radio Spätkauf at Podfest Berlin 2024, Megan handed out free cans so that the audience wouldn't have to get through the news sober — which, frankly, should be part of every media subscription service these days. Then Konrad gets weirdly pedantic about crime stats, Izzy explains why Germany is always losing the energy transition race, and Joel finds some good news about Berlin's U-Bahn seat covers. And there's more fascism in Germany obviously. BUT we have passing minstrels! H...
Sep 22, 2024•1 hr 6 min
Megan's had a lovely, relaxing time on her summer holidays, so obviously she can't wait to hear about all the horrible news in Germany and Konrad's trip to a fascist rally. Two German states have elections this weekend with the AfD leading in the polls, while an Islamist attack in Solingen has made it even easier for them to stir up racism. Hey ho, the wheel of misery and hatred takes another turn. Well, at least the megas are chilled. Cheers! Check out Der Kompressor , Konrad's new detective au...
Aug 30, 2024•50 min
Recording in front of a live studio audience at Berlin's House of Color , Megan and Konrad unpack Germany's liberal attitude to children and alcohol, a bottleneck at the Berlin citizenship application office, and why it's best not to have a heart attack in Germany. Also, there's audience questions and some fancy IPAs from the Megacan pals at Fuerst Wiacek . Aber hallo! Special thanks to everyone who came out! Megan's Megacan theme song by Eden Ottignon from Planet OTT...
Aug 01, 2024•1 hr 3 min
Special summer show here - an extraordinary interview with novelist and combat medic Howard Hunt, and how he joined the Hospitallers Medical Battalion in Ukraine. If you'd like to help him buy an ambulance to take back to Kharkhiv, please consider contributing to his fundraiser : ALSO: Come to our special Live Megan's Megacan in Berlin! Tuesday, July 30, at 7pm House of Color , Südstern In partnership with Fuerst Wiacek . Get your reservations here. We'd love to see you there! Megan's Megacan th...
Jul 15, 2024•1 hr 2 min
It's a big day for Megan and the 14% of the German population without a German passport — the government has finally deigned to give them basic democratic rights. Woohoo! Unfortunately, the fascist fucks who apparently represent the majority of Germans have already decided to repeal it when they get to power next. Ah well, at least you can get a fairly cheap panic room at Lidl now. Hey ho! Megan's Megacan theme song by Eden Ottignon from Planet OTT Buy us a round, ask us ...
Jun 27, 2024•45 min
Megan and Konrad, determined to get through a whole episode without having a nervous breakdown over Germany's political torments, call in top football journalist Kit Holden to deliver an expert preview of the upcoming Euro 2024 football fiesta. That'll surely cheer them up. But bugger us if Kit hasn't gone and written a whole bloody book about how German football actually reflects all the country's political torments. Bah, just their luck! Mahlzeit! Get Kit's book here: https://www.duckworthbook...
Jun 13, 2024•1 hr
Megan and Konrad are full of the joys of summer this week because the people of Thuringia went to the polls — and slightly fewer of them voted for SS apologists than normal. Meanwhile, top COVID explainer Karl Lauterbach is overhauling Germany's absurdly expensive healthcare system, and kindly, white-haired President Walter says a rude word. Ahoy! Megan's Megacan theme song by Eden Ottignon from Planet OTT Buy us a round, ask us a question: https://www.patr...
Jun 03, 2024•38 min
Displaying their usual tact and charm, Berlin cops have been beating people up at demos, making up rules as they go along about what languages you can speak, and then following people around while they go for pints. Nessa Finnegan of Berlin's Irish Bloc joins Megan and Konrad to talk about the diplomatic incident their conversation circle caused at the pro-Palestinian camp. Sláinte! Support the Honouring the Children of Gaza event here : Megan's Megacan theme song by Eden Ottignon from ...
May 17, 2024•41 min
Another week, another gaggle of right-wing terrorists go on trial. This time it's the turn of Heinrich the 13th, a blue-blooded berk in the dock for trying to bring down the German state, which he says doesn't even really exist. Welcome to the netherworld in the mind of the Reichsbürger. Also, the German government has come up with a plan to abolish homelessness. Will it work? As if! Kanpai! Which is cheers in Japanese. Megan's Megacan theme song by Eden Ottignon from Planet OTT ...
May 04, 2024•50 min
Germany has been in The Hague this week defending itself from accusations of aiding genocide — hands down winning this month's "Not A Great Look" award for countries with a history of genocide. Speaking of war crimes, freelance journalist Cathrin is on had to tell Megan and Konrad how Germany's policy on Syrian passports is helping the Assad regime — and don't piss off Botswana unless you want 20,000 elephants riding over the Alps. Cheers! Megan's Megacan theme song by Eden Ottignon from ...
Apr 13, 2024•47 min
The birds are singing, the blossoms are blooming, the eggs are safely hidden – it's springtime at Megacan Towers and Megan has some sparkling springtime tips for the long weekend. But unfortunately, there's some news to get through before that: How do you get a tram through a fence, driving tests for senior citizens, football news, and whatever the fuck Kai Wegner has been up to this time. Mahlzeit! Megan's Megacan theme song by Eden Ottignon from Planet OTT Buy us a round, ask us a ...
Mar 29, 2024•45 min
Good news and bad news, listeners: Berlin might be able to force thousands of fancy holiday flats back onto the rental market, thanks to a good court ruling for once. The bad news is that Brandenburg is probably about to let Mr Muskness clear a forest so that he can build a million electric cars. Plus Tesla robot coffee's shit. Hooray! Megan's Megacan theme song by Eden Ottignon from Planet OTT Buy us a round, ask us a question: https://www.patreon.com/megansmegacan...
Mar 15, 2024•52 min
