"The Last Mrs. Parrish" by Live Constantine

So there was a lot of insistent tongues, as we're aware of, and I'm always like, what are these tongues?

What are they insisting?

It's like, oh, we both read systic fibrosis weekly. That's so cool.

Married and trapped with a sociopath.

This could have been an interesting thing to explore in the.

Book, but it wasn't Doggie style for a girl missionary for a voids such a science.

So this is an unlikable character because of how dumb they are.

Again, any character that wants to die in this book, feel free go buy me.

Hello everyone, and welcome back to Mean book Club. This week we read The Last Missus Parish by Live Constantine.

Don't Don't.

I also want to go ahead and welcome new listeners. You know I'm back.

Hello, if you're new, Hello, we are me book Club. We read our Times bestsellers that we think maybe shouldn't be. We get recommendations from listeners, fans books they might have done for their book clubs.

That they were like our mom in laws sometimes our laws.

Books that basically maybe everyone else in your book club was like I love it and you were like what. And we talk about them, we roast them. And sometimes we boast them because sometimes we love them, you know.

Not all of us almost almost, don't. I don't that's fair, easily, I don't.

Is that a saying should I know this? Or is this another thing that you kind of made up? Sir?

I'm like, yeah, yeah, I would say I made it. Yeah, we roast before, we roasted before you know it?

Okay, we could definitely say it could be something we say.

I like that, all right. Oh wow, I wasn't expecting this.

Is this a roast or listen?

I don't know that it needs to become a part of the podcast.

Oh.

I thought it's fine for now. I thought it's fine for now.

Like judge a book by its cover.

I don't know.

It's just like, are we going to start boasting books? What's the point of the podcast at that point? You know what I mean?

Sure?

Right? Sure? As always, we are your hosts. I'm Sarah Burton.

I'm Clara Morris, and I'm Jonas Crabis.

And moment of silence for our fourth member, who is again very.

Busy drowning in work. But she does say things like when she answers our text, which is not all the time. She does say things like I miss you guys. I love the podcast. She recently said, Yeah, she was trying to like build her life around the podcast in a way that concerned me. For her, I said, important.

Yeah, I think we should encourage it, though it happens. What happens when she doesn't.

Right here, we are looking like life dicis.

Life decisions should include Meme book Club. And that's for us, and that's for the listeners, and and that's for the listeners. Friends.

Okay, and I feel like being missing Sabrina.

We're missing our main boaster and let we I think we can admiss that.

We can admit easy.

You know who else I wanted to just shout out now we are talking about, you know, Meme book Club being a part of your life. I think advertisers too. If you are an advertiser, maybe you have a little product you want to hawk on mean book club call give us a shout, yeah, noise.

Give it a cock.

We'll let us give it a cock. Cough, shout down our email, give us a cock.

Coon.

Well, so this is now an advertise it for advertisements that montarily the zoo.

I hope the zoo wants it because that way still call all.

Feel about zeus though I don't know. I have mixed feelings.

Oh you're right, well yeah, all right, all right.

Let's get into why we're reading this book.

Sure, sure, sure, Claia, Why are we reading this book?

All right? This was recommended to us by a listener named Mollie. She wrote in she said, hello, parasocial friends. Longtime listener, first time writer. The book I'm dying for you to read is The Last Missus Parish by Live Constantine. The audiobook is especially egregious, as the character representation is so entirely unlikable.

This is accurate.

The book jacket claims shocking turns and dark secrets that will keep you guessing until the very end. The Last Missus Parish is a fresh, juicy, and utterly addictive thriller from a diabolically imaginative talent. This is all a lie. It hurt my ears. I hated every character. I cheered for no One. Thank you. I love I absolutely love it.

Molly, Mollie. Accurate, very accurate.

I cheered for no One is such a good line and it You know a book is hateful when you're feeling that way, when you're waiting for like when you're hoping, like, I hope this character gets hit by a tractor and they bleed.

Out, and it could be any of the characters.

Any one of them. Right now, let's see it.

Casualties. Uh yeah it uh yeah, accurate. She got us with it the shocking terms, keeping you guessing until the end, and well I'm already like.

Wait, what were those in the first chapter? There was no thing?

Yeah, honestly, it's like, have you ever seen what's the Matt Davin movie? The classically? If you've ever seen the talented mister Ripley, it's like, cool, here it is, but a.

Girl, I guess. I think it's way worse than that. It's worse, but like this, like, let me take that but make it worse.

Yes, yeah, it doesn't matter about the gender. It's just worse, worse, all right.

How did you guys read it?

Audible audiobook? I cannot get these. These are too popular for the library these days.

Gang, this isn't even a recent one.

I I also did audiobook dot com but uh.

SAME's And I hate to do it. I really hate to be spending a lot of money this season, and it's going to very bad people. But you know, I'm still yees to live, but as you guys are, I'm stall on the outs with the library. I'm holding on to quite a few books from a few months ago. One is still missing somewhere in Savannah, Georgia.

So right right, right, right right, and you'll never get that back. You could buy a new book and return and say, hey, all right, this is the book I lost.

I don't think that's how it works. They're gonna be like, we're all our special library tags.

And they'll know, but maybe they'll forgive you.

I would love that if they'll just forgive me. I don't know. I yeah, I feel like they'll just be so mad if I try to pass a fake one off, you know what I mean, Like, yeah, somebody else's dog, but like not giving them the their dog.

But I don't think I think that that's an extremely I think you're making yourself feel worse than you need to.

You know.

It's like I killed their dog and now desperately searching the pound for.

Oh yeah, go ahead, improvement.

Really all right?

Well, uh, I think it's time for Clara clarifies the plot.

Clara classes it up with the summer.

Remember I tried, I tried it. I tried to.

Ted an Amber a Daphne a Jackson, and then I'm gonna be the two little girls because just one lune each.

I love it. I'll be Daphne.

You're Daphne, I'll be Amber.

Would anyone like to double up and be Jackson as well?

I'll do Jackson?

Yeah, I know, all right?

Are you ready?

Yeahdi action.

I'm evil and poor. Who's the richest man in Connecticut. I'm going to befriend his wife and then still him. I have talent. I can look ugly when I'm friends with his wife and hot later during husband's stealing time.

I know our marriage looks perfect, but it's actually abusive. Also, my sister died, and my abusive husband is kind of right. I need to shut up about that.

There we'll be sex scenes in this.

Book, but they will be horrible rape.

I'm bad, I have dark hair, I look like the guy, and it ends with us.

Clara is pretty sure.

I'm Tallula, I'm the daughter who likes to read. I'm Bella. I'm the daughter who can't read. That's why I'm so unpleasant.

Amber also has a dead sister.

I love her.

Sure you can have a friend even though I'm extremely controlling in every other way, Amber is sketchy.

Wait a minute, what if I make Jackson fall for her and divorce me and abuse her instead of me? I know that makes me seem evil, but Amber deserves it because she is bad in her own way the end, and that is accurate.

That is accurate.

Yes, I couldn't stop imagining Jackson as the main character from the main character man Room. It ends with us because he was described as like dark hair. I was like, okay, got it, that's the guy.

It's crazy too that, like I have read this exact plot before.

We have, we have, we have, I wasn't.

I couldn't remember if it was for Mean book Club or if it was one of my.

Pri It was definitely maybe at all, so it was part of it.

We definitely did Mean book Club. To be fair, I believe this one can't. Was the house the Housemaid? Well, we can definitely talk about the house Maid in comparison, but I will this one did come out first, but I don't know.

It's not going to sway anything. I have to say, Johnna.

Johnny got any jugs to go along with this, So I will.

Say A nice white wine sath Blanc is the drink to pair with this like one hundred billion percent the other thing, I'd go ahead and pair. If anyone is in Brooklyn, go ahead and walk yourself down to Brooklyn Far Parmacy on on Henry Street. You're gonna go ahead and you're gonna get yourself I'm sorry, is it Clara's jogs or is it jobs?

Well, I'm just it's supposed to be related to the book, and I think you might just be telling us about what you're eating right now.

This is not Clara's quampers. This is John's jacks.

Are you free claws.

For Seward?

So you can also go ahead right on down Brooklyn Pharmacy. You're gonna go ahead and you're gonna get yourself a frozen hot chocolate and you're gonna go ahead and have the best thing you've ever had in your life.

And so we had an alcohol to it.

Oh my goodness, Bailey's there you go. Yes, Bailey's is so good. It's too bad it's a seasonal.

You know says it.

Shouldn't be you know whoa you could design a whole personality around being someone who drinks Bailey. Yeah, so that's it either a frozen ho show with some Bailey's if you're a freak like me, or definitely a nice light white wine.

All right, but up.

I know they probably named a bunch of brands of white wines that are super expensive in this book, but I don't care to look that up or share that with you. All right, Clara, let's talk about the author, Live Constantine.

Josh was one of them. Right.

It wasn't sad because that's not that expensive, I know, But you know what, Yeah, Clara, what tell us about the author?

All right? Our author is named Live Constantine. And here's the little interesting twist. It's actually two people.

Better twist than the book.

Constantine is a pen name of two sisters, Lynn Constantine and Valerie Constantine. You put Lynn together with Valerie, you get Live Okay. So Lynn is a former marketing executive with a master's degree from John Hart. Valerie has a degree in English literature from the University.

Of mary Hey, where.

She graduated summa cum lade JOHNA. This is for you. They both like dogs. Here's a little excerpt from their self written bios. When Lynn's not writing, you can find her curled up with her labrador and Golden Retreat.

She went with basic is what I'm getting from that?

And the other one the v name Valerie. She lives with her husband and their brilliant cavalier King Charles da Vinci.

Oh, King Charles. The cavalier King Charles is brilliant. Yeah, met that kind of dog. They're sweet, but they're not brilliant.

John is a little bit of a bias towards it.

Yeah, yeah, it's coming out.

I'll bring details. She was cool with Alphaie, but but she's got a little wise.

I had to meet I had to meet a small dog, and once I did, I was like, Okay, now I understood.

You meant the world best ever, So yes, I also doubt that this dog is brilliant to fuck off. How I can tell you a bit about how they write together because the Elle Lynn told the magazine about it. She said, Valerie and I speak every morning when we're in the midst of writing a new book. We decide on which scenes each will write, then go off and write individually. We then email the work to each other, edit in track changes, and return. Then we talk again

But me and I wouldn't mock it.

But I also like, deep, guys, we've been talking about writing a book for a while. Maybe we should adopt this plast plan.

It just seems like, does no one know about Google docs? Stop emailing?

Is fair? Fair? We should definitely do this.

They didn't tract changes, so I think they are insane.

You could do that on Microsoft Word and still be emailing it back and forth.

Okay, ye, she's talking about emailing back and forth more than.

They don't need to be doing that, And they don't need to be doing that, Yeah they need.

I don't know, And I feel like someone else once didn't know about Google docs in like in a book. Oh it was a Curtis sitting filled when she wrote about the SNL book and she had people emailing sketches to each other. Okay, okay, all right, so now now we can talk about.

The book a bit.

Yeah. I have a big section you might notice in the outline sort of I do.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm so excited.

And I need to tell you guys that I didn't read all of Molly's email to you in the beginning.

I also saw that, but because you did not black.

That, I edited. Oh okay, and I edited down. Yes, And then when I was speaking, I.

Wow, so it's something else beyond them, what you've skipped over?

I see? Okay, all right, this is incredible.

Okay, this book is not a New York Times bestseller, and Molly was upfront with that, and we just ignored it.

What.

In her message before recommending the book, she wrote, this is what she wrote, hear me? What if it's not technically a New York Times bestseller? But because of its overall long game popularity, when the sequel came out, the equal became an instant New York Times bestseller. Therefore, the initial book spawned a New York Times bestseller, and so therefore could it be readable by the pod as a

I cannot spawn.

I will never read it, and you can't just jump in. And it's hard to get new books. She made it very clear.

Spawning best time, Spawning Book.

I need to Okay, guys, here's what's going on.

No, she didn't do anything wrong. She asked if it would count.

Wait, hold on, no way, you're tricking us now. You need to so you have to see you see how stupid we are. You're seeing it right now.

No, No, you're not seeing how stupid we are because I'm looking at me in and I have an email reply to her wreck and I said, thank you for their wreck. It's in consideration for upcoming season.

Lucky for you.

We did find it on the New York Times bestseller list, so I must have founded on the New York Times.

Miss culls for me to say that what.

This is, I think you might have gotten mixed up.

You think I got it right?

I mean we can look again. Okay, okay, I can look again.

But look, I don't think so I could be right.

It was published in October twenty seventeen. It's a Reese's Book Club pick, and over a million copies have been sold. It's been published in thirty countries. Netflix has the movie rights, there's no cast yet. In twenty nineteen, Amazon was going to make it into a TV series, but they abandoned that plan, and now Netflix has it and they're going to make it into a movie.

Wow.

Definitely not a bestseller. It says national bestseller, and then it has little.

Yes it's not. I really don't think it is. Yet it doesn't. I mean, I've made a mistake last time, so I don't want to.

I just think listeners are overestimating our intelligence.

How so she could her options were to just not speak to us, because she made it very clear, and it was a question does this count? Like it was very clear.

I think I think she needs to know.

You're right, Clara, Clara, you're right about this. You are right this time. You are right. Well, I made a big mistake.

It was the next I'm looking because I was the Next Missus Parish.

And I so you can see a little bit of work was done in the sort of discovery phase. Why it was poor.

And the Next Missus Parish are two similar titles to similar.

I will blame the author, Yeah, I blame an author, but we can't blame that.

It essentially would mean the same thing. It's very confused, and.

It doesn't mean why would like.

Johnny you cannot blame purposely obfuscated.

She hid it. It was a tiny, tiny prince. She barely said it three times.

In her.

Yeah, I guess for future listeners. Three times, isn't it.

It's not enough. You're the subject of your email needs to be not a New York Times bestseller. Don't read.

This is on me. This one is completely on me.

I have John or I could have glanced at the email, but I did.

I did, and I.

Read the email and I said, oh no, I looked up and it is the New York Parents orself. She just didn't know, And I should have trusted Molly.

This is where I actually remember you saying that I do. I do, and I trusted Sarah, and I guess they'll like lesson learn. I shouldn't. I can't trust anybody. I can't trust anyone. What I do, I don't know. Yeah, I'm looking at you really with suspicion.

Now you're just upset. You're lashing out because you feel like you made a mistake. So that's the information about the book. Has everyone recovered enough to move on?

This is why people think that we're stupid.

This is that have been once and it was really bad. And affected a lot of us.

That's the thing.

It's like once on fool me five. This is the fifth book in a row.

This is so funny, Like just the link that I was like so camply, was like.

She didn't do her research. I did it, and here's the here's the link, and it's.

Both we're quite insulting to Molly in your own ways. Sarah thought she knew better saying.

Better I did, oh mom.

And I was stupid enough to blindly trust you, Molly, not not even read your email myself.

All right, I'm not begging any so I'm not pigging any books next season.

I just have to come out say it. I have to. You can't have the I can't.

I cannot have any culpability anymore when it comes to this.

I have made this.

So Sarah chose this entire season.

Such colossal errors, and it's it's crazy.

Sarah handpicked every booker and I think Serena and I like fought to make one change each and she was like, she was like, I don't know. I think the list I put together is really perfect, but like maybe we can change this one.

God, I hope that the books we added are and also you know what, I'm not gonna you.

Know what, at this point, I'm not going to look at it. I'm not going to double check it ahead.

It's going to be a surprised because that's how we've been doing this whole season, and that's how we're going to continue to roll.

You know what, did you guys like how I had it all blacked out and I held it off?

I guess you know what?

Yeah, because that was a good had it been maybe had you found this out like a week ago, I.

Would have liked to know. Oh no, okay, Okay, then then it's great because.

I already read the book. But a a week ago it could have been stopped.

I yeah, this is this is what's happening.

It is as our guess, even Unblatt, it's as book.

It is a popular book.

Oh I'm like, just highlight it. Oh okay, I'm okay, Yes, it was.

No the episodes over. Why are you continuing? It's on New York Times.

Have you guys recovered? You talk about the character.

It's time to say good night. There's no recovering.

I'll go right to sleep. Here are some of our characters are like the first half of the book, which it seems like it's maybe more than half because it seems like it goes on for so long. It's from the point of view of someone called Amber, and we know that she is manipulating. She's mister ripley ing things. She's manipulating the rich wife to steal the rich husband. We don't really know what why, other than greed, but she seems to be. She alludes to her past every

It's a rare Yeah, she is.

It's not like she hates rich people. She also like wants to be a rich person. It's a kind of like it's just a confusing perspective. It's like it needs more texture because like, to hate rich people as much, you didn't want to take them down, I understand, but to want to become what you hate is like this requires some sort of psychological explanation that we are never given.

And yeah, it'd be very interesting to learn more about Amber. Basically, we just know she's jealous of Daphne being glamorous. Yeah, we do need to talk about the cystic fibrocious link because it's very okay how she infiltrates Daphanie's.

Yeah, oh yeah, so Defnie is the rich wife. She runs a foundation for sistic fibrosis because her sister died from that when they were kids.

Yes, and.

Amber's like reading a cystic fibrosis magazine and like opens it and puts it in front of Daphne like like drops it like she's dropping a dog. And then Daphne sees it. It's like, oh, we both read cystic fibrosis weekly.

That's so cool.

You must also be super intosistic fibrosis. I have a dead sister, and that as such their friendship is born.

And like Daphne's dead sister thing is, I don't have a dead sister, so I don't know, but it's a bit much.

I agree.

She won't shut up about it, Like when her daughter makes her a Christmas present, it's like, these are two hearts, and this is your sister and this is you. It's like, can your daughter live her own life? Why does she have to make art about your day?

It feels performative, like almost especially given which we will get to the twist we learn later. I'm like, it makes it even crazier to me that she was like talking about her sister as much as she was. Also, Clara, very funny in your summary to point out that the the husband maybe had some good points when he said when he said she should, this is the like evil

It's like, yeah, she should.

She seems like she needs she should probably talk about that with someone.

People contain multitude really truly. Yeah, that is very funny. He's really emotionally woke and certain area.

Yeah, the abortion debate too was kind of funny to me. Tale was like, that's I we will get to more of that later, but let's keep going cause the first half the book, the first half the.

Book, we're in Amber's perspective.

So we we get the perspective of this evil person who's tricking people, which.

Isn't necessarily bad.

Like I love I like read listen to all these podcasts about the like crazy people who trick everyone and steal their money. Like I I think that's fascinating, but like this was she This wasn't doing it for me.

This was just she was so one note but also like crazy.

She was really smart, so she would do things like do so much research for like so her end goal is to get become the next the next missus Parish. So she but the way she goes about it is so circuitous. It's so like she's doing so much research, tricking to trick people to get this job, and then like she's poisoning someone so that she can get their assistant.

Just in the forest.

I don't know the fact that she's like makes herself not hot yeah yeah, yeah yeah, where she's interacting brown hair switches.

It's so this is the same thing that happened in the Housemaid, which is just like there For some reason, these female authors believe that like a woman wouldn't be able to recognize another woman's inherent beauty. Yeah, like, so long as that woman is wearing like ugly clothes and glasses. And let me tell you something, hot girls never look more hot than when they're in trashy.

And look like they're not trying. You're absolutely right. You can always greasy.

Hair, in a bond, no makeup, and then they clearly were wearing whatever, and I'm just like, fuck, you didn't even try, and you're so beautiful, Like I know when someone's beautiful. So it's very funny that in both of these it was like, she dresses mousey in front of Daphne so she can't reveal what it doesn't see her real beauty. But in front of Jackson she begins to dress nicer and nicer and flirt subtly. It's like women saw this coming fifty miles.

Yes, very true.

That's another reason why it's this. Daphne, the character she's scammied, is so unlikable because it's like, I don't know, I don't really like want to root for a character that's so gullible. I want, I want, I wanted, like JOHNA said earlier, I wanted to see her get hit by a buzz. I was like, I do not like this lady.

She sucks.

I don't you know what. It's like. I don't even like their children, Like I don't like anyone.

The children are so poorly ridden. I almost was just wondering if the does allthor not have kids?

Neither of them kids.

I just felt like they were written like, oh they do, yeah, you only answered their dogs.

Yeah, maybe they don't. But I finally saw a question in an interview, it.

Just seems like maybe, yeah, well it just seems surprising almost because I was like, these children are written horribly. I'm like, I guess it's nice that there's some texture to the girl that like can't read, but like, I don't know. Maybe it was also just because we were hearing about it from Amber's perspective and it.

Was so boring.

She was just like spoiled girls and she thought she was. She was just so like can you imagine, like everything about it didn't make sense that like they were like, oh, random person, you're now my best friend and please like she's just like patting herself on the back. But it's like, wait, can't you sense smell this desperation?

And that was true desperation.

I don't know, Yeah, And it didn't even make sense that she was allowed to sutt of like the Daphne is allowed by the controlling, abusive husband to have a random friend.

All right, she left like a line of justification that was, like I said in front of other people that I felt bad for her, so he had to let me invite her for Christmas or something, was like the only justification.

But was like, it's still weird. Why would he Yeah, he would not. You're absolutely right.

If he was controlling, he would definitely, and he obviously at first thought Amber was trash, so why would he let her?

He let her come to Christmas?

And I was disappointed in the other mean ladies in the Sistics fiberss Foundation that like, once Amber got rid of the co chair or whoever, I can't remember it, but got rid of her by revealing that she was cheating or something, then I was ready. I wanted the other girls to mean girl her, but they didn't. They just like stepped aside and that was the end of that.

I don't I bet they all didn't want to be the fucking code here.

No one, Yeah, no one wants the responsibility of an elected position. Yeah I do. I do buy that. Obviously there's a twist later, but like that Jackson could be attracted to someone that he thinks his trashy, dumb garbage at first. That does fill in line with uh Man character in book.

Sure, but why would you let Daphney have her as a friend? He does? He was taking French lessons and.

No, yeah, nothing about it. Yeah, yeah, I gotch you guys, not that.

I think where I really turned on Namber was when she was like judging rich people really hard and she was like, oh, the mom needs like a nanny on the weekends too, or some shit like that where it's like you.

And then it was revealed that she well, never mind that the character didn't advocate whatever.

That's yeah, she seemed I guess, I don't even.

Know what you'd call like, I guess she was a sociopath, but it was like she was, and it was not funny because I feel like I could give I could like let you get away with like a mean character mocking the rich or like doing pure evil stuff if they also had like some personality or were like funny in some way so that they were like obviously wrong, but like they were so their perspective was so interesting and unique. I'm gonna and it made me made me laugh.

Also, yes, it was yeah, so much of that. And then like I.

Feel like it could have been four chapters from the certain number perspective before we then get to the daf name personerspective.

And like, also I feel like the author was trying to like slowly tease out that obviously Daphne is being abused and is not happy in the relationship, and it was like a bit painful for Amber to not realize that because it was getting so obvious.

Yeah, it's like it's supposed to be revealed as a plot twist to the reader too. It's like Daphne's perfect life not so perfect after all. It's like really, wow.

It's like Daphne seems really scared of her husband the fucking ritually that's how Itever takes it. So that's annoying, and so you're just kind of waiting for the perspective shift for so.

Long, and also just like the fact that from okay, from the husband's perspective, we don't like get his chapters, but.

In it in the in the Amber.

Half would I do in the Amber half, there's like a point where she like turns she's with him, she gets him to cheat or like to get him to cheat. She says all these horrible things her best friend, her apparent best friend, said about him behind his back, and it's like it's also just showed how crazy stupid his character was to not be like, wait, why are you her best friend? And now you're talking complete trash about her?

I don't know, it was just like.

And also didn't murder Dafne for it.

Yeah, it was like, right, I guess that's really dark, but you're right, I.

Guess at the point that point, I was what I was hoping was that like, oh, the difference between this and like the Housemaid was like the Amber slash Housemaid character and Amber is much more is I guess, unlikable and horrible in many ways than the Housemaid character, and so I was like, oh, maybe this is gonna be funny. It'd be so funny if these two as just like two sociopaths together happy.

But that's not how it went.

But I was really hoping that that would be something just like where they were like, you know, oh, we.

See each other and we're great. We'll both be crazy.

Performative in front of other people and psychos behind the scenes, and that's just works for us.

We love each other. That's what I was hoping. Didn't get my fairy tale.

But those people are out there and they just met each other in a nice way. Hope that those people find each other, yes way, you know, and you can leave the funny brave Pittsburgh Steelers' safeties for me?

Is there something specific said Trip Triple?

Okay, Oh, he's very happily married to his wife and I'm happily married to me. Is not funny. He's utterly unfunny. He's very very sincere.

Anyway.

I was about to be like, did he make a drink anyway?

Phoebe? Wait, no, what who's Phoebe?

Daphne?

Daphne?

All right, we get her perspective, and it's bad it's bad man Jackson is really abusing her. It's very unpleasant to listen to.

We find out that she's trapped, you know, she's trapped, even financially trapped. Even the charity work that she's doing, it was all Jackson's idea. So again he has an altruistics and you would and you.

Would think given the fact that she's like married and trapped with a sociopath and like studying him, that she would be able to like spot one again, but she does not.

Yeah, she took those psychology classes.

And then she fell for it again.

I was like, this is an unlikable character because of how dumb they are and they're being abused.

Yeah, it's also interesting to me that we keep reading these books about like a woman that's being abused, but it's a really super wealthy woman with a you know, like they're like top one percent family, and it's it is just interesting because it's like that is not typically the woman who's it's true, like who's trapped in an abusive marriage. Like the people with resources like do have a better chance of getting out. But it just seems like authors are like incapable of writing.

They know their audience and they're like, you'd like to imagine that you're rich like this lady, and then it's scary.

Yeah. Yeah, And also literacy is going to be a big part for my book. Literacy and one character will be a writer and one person can't read, and it's the saddest thing and the whole.

Oh also, sorry to go back.

So the he starts getting abusive, she gets or Daphne gets pregnant and they find out it's a woman, and like at one point, oh my god, sorry, it's a baby girl and he really wanted a boy. And she he says something like next time we'll get a CBS and confirm the gender all this stuff, and I was like, what is he talking about, Like you can do a blood.

Test in ten weeks, you don't need to do that. I don't know.

I just thought it was really funny how off the medical perspective wasn't all that? And also she was he was like they were again, yeah, maybe had these conversations before you get married. But the fact that he was like, oh, there's something wrong, we'll get an abortion, she was like, no, I don't know.

I was like, actually, secretly, yeah, I was like, am I supposed to like like her for this. I don't. I don't know why.

I just it's like she's just being annoying now because it's just like her being righteous and it doesn't And we know she has two daughters, so it's not like it came into play, do you know what I mean?

I don't know, it's just bother we know it didn't.

Yeah.

Yeah, So he was right because he was like, we'll talk about it if it happens.

And I was like, yeah, yeah, I'd like this guy a bit gruff about.

It, but I'm like, he was right, it didn't happen. Don't don't talk to me. Don't want to hear your conversation about this.

I think my biggest problem with Daphney is her Like was she really stuck? Like could she have worked a little harder and gotten herself? Yeah, it just seemed like she was so weak. Ye, she resigned herself to this.

Her parents could have got her her, like, like they didn't trust it, like she could have it did.

I did not feel that she was. I guess it's trapped. Just maybe the wife and housemaid.

I can't remember the other one when she was like literally in the attic.

They both had them committed. That was something they both did.

It was they both had them committed, and he used his money to get like fair.

Oh oh, I didn't like any Yeah I did to.

She's I don't like to hear about the babies getting taken away from the mommies.

I don't like that at all. I don't like it.

He likes that, but it just seems like it's not It seems like, why don't you I don't know if she she said like he would show her the letters and be like as like a threat. It's like, all right, why don't you put up a secret camera or something like, Yeah, I don't.

Know, catch him, yeah, record anything and get him sick, because he's anything. He reveals himself to you all the time, like record You're absolutely right, Clara.

Right, He's like, no one would ever believe that I'm abusing you me Jack.

He says that every night. Also try to kill him. I think she should have tried to kill him.

Yeah, cut it done that she did again.

Any character that wants to die in this book, feel free go buy me.

We did not, and we did not see she didn't I feel like in a Housemaid. At one point, she actually tries to escape and gets but like there was no escape attempted.

No kay.

The thing she does to like take risks with Jackson. One of the things he likes her to go to the gym, because he makes her go to the gym right he wants her to say fit. She skips that for a massage, lies to him about it. It's like, are you fucking gating me? Skip it to go to the goddamn to use a gun yourself? Are you kidding?

And then.

I think anything anything to get a massage.

And then she does.

The other secret thing she does is like she says she's taking classes in like art history, but then goes to psychology classes to take to take where she clearly learns nothing. I don't know what the fuck crinky dink in college she was going.

To like it was it was, it was.

It's like she's doing the slowest role she possibly can for her for her escape, which is like, first I'll get a massage to make for my muscle so that I'm able. It's like, then I'll begin a program on psychology like it was, I'll get a I'll get a six year degree program and.

Let me get my blood tested.

Make sure everything's like, just in case I'm a little dehydrated, I wouldn't want to be low on vitamin D.

And it's like this could have been an interesting thing to explore in the book, that like she's not really trapped and that she's sort of like passive in it, but it wasn't. The book presented it as like she's totally trapped. Her only choice is to get the massage and then.

But like you said, it's like it's being trapped is so much more mental, I feel like than it is anything else, which is like that's that would be an interesting thing for this book to flore, right, but it doesn't. It's like no, no, She's physically trying get to.

The point where Amber's introduced, and like she just falls for everything Amber is telling her uh for a long time, up until maybe they find out Amber, another member of the fibrosis Cistic Fibrosus Foundation, reveals that she isn't who she says she is, and then instead of she kind of believes her insane that she was from an abused family and that's why she has a fake name. But she's like, just in case, I'll do one thing and

And then it's like, get the same private investigator to tell the world that you're beating.

Yes, yes, anything, but anyway, and then finds out about her. But then like, she doesn't seem that upset about it. She doesn't seem to like beat herself up. Because I personally, if I were her at this junk, sure I'd be like, wow, I'm being had again. Well this is telling me it's a me problem. I'm a stupid, fucking idiot, or at least I.

Would be in denial about it, and that would be interesting for the book.

It was just like, yeah, okay, oh I've been had again. Oh maybe she can be me instead. Like it's not even clear at this point that she is going to try to steal her husband, but like, for some reason.

Yeah, I don't know, maybe I'm getting confused.

But it also felt frustrating to me that Dafne like took all the credit for Jackson falling in love with Amber. Oh yeah, it was no Amber got hot.

Amber did the thing.

All you did was say you don't like Shakespeare and then she repeated it, and that come that would not have upset about out.

There's a special place in hell for women, and that is classic Daphne.

Yeah, no, truly Daphne does not support other women. So she gets her way because it's funny enough.

Amber goes as far as like finding out he wanted a boy and then somehow does get pregnant with a boy just luck of the draw.

I guess, well, they probably did it missionary, right. I think you have to as long as you do it missionary, it's a boy. You guys don't know that we both have boys, and we're giving you a face doggy style for a girl, missionary for a boy. It's such a science, so all she did.

Yeah, yeah, I guess, I guess if it's easy, she figured it out.

As far as I know, it.

Was interesting because she when she told him she was having a boy, she said she photoshopped the ultrasound.

And then just got lucky, right, and then just got lucky, which is so boring.

Why don't you why did you introduce the idea that it wasn't like, why did you introduce the photoshop? Yeah, if it wasn't going to pay off, just make it be that she was bringing it.

Yeah.

Also, like, what do you mean you photoshopped the ultrasound, Like you went in there and you like drew a little.

Yeah, exactly, that's a boy because that's pretty much all they do, right, it's a girl.

But there's like, like there's nothing really on the ultrasound. It's so normal to not be able to see any any sex organs. She likes what I'm talking about.

She is an incredible as a hardist, and she could be using these skills to do a lot more Like if she can do this kind of photoshop, like, she could be doing bigger scams. Like she does not need to be fucking and blowing a guy just to get his money, Like, she has other talents.

And it's crazy to me that she doesn't see that.

And that's a woman that's supports with their women right there.

If I were a friend, I'd sit her down and I'd tell her like, look, I'd sit.

Her down and be like, I believe you that you also have a dead sister in the answer.

Also like look at what you've done in your life, or look at what you've accomplished, look at all the devious trickster stuff. Do you really believe that you would marry someone and just become their trophy wife and that you would be happy in that life. Like, let's be real, not no way you're gonna you are a scam artist, and that is you are an artist.

You know, you embrace it, you know, don't give up on.

You know.

I I you were, And that's what I would say.

To her, M Like, there are certainly elements of being a trophy wife that I have a handle, you know, for sure. The massages, the massages, I you know what I mean, Like if that is my job, that's my job. Like I'll find the joy in it that I can, you know what I mean. And the money for sure, and that sort of just filling each day with pleasure as as I desire it, so it to whatever whims I have.

I feel like eventually those things will lose the You're just gonna become more. She's gonna seek more and more. And so would you, Johnnah, you would never. You would never be satiated. You would need massages twenty four to seven.

You know, and then that wouldn't be nice. You'd be paying people to touch you off.

You know.

I would like have a job to a secret a secret job.

Right, Well, anyway, I whatever, it's there's so there's so little in this that makes sense.

Where are we in this fucker? Okay, so now we're at the point where Daphnie.

We're from Daphnie's perspective and she thinks she's tricking Amber, but like, really, as Claire pointed out, I still think Amber's doing a bulk of the work with the cheating here.

She's just gaining ten pounds. Ten pounds, she gained ten pounds. It's nothing, you kidding me? Oh, it's really fat phobic. This book is sorry, I forgot about how so much about.

Wade and Amber being mean about Daphne gaining I don't know. It was like one of those where it's like she was a size flour and now she's a size six. I'm like, oh, so they're all just really fit. I can't tell the difference between a size flour and a size six?

Are you kidding me? Get the fuck out of here?

Oh man, Yeah, it was insane. Yeah, there's so much emphasis on weight and like her deciding like I know how to get Daphne being like I know how to get Amber and my husband together all gain weight. That's her grand plan.

I learned this in psychology that men don't like get men be men game. Yeah, no, she's an everyone's an idiot,

There was nothing.

Yeah, there was a lot of it was joy.

It was there was a lot of insistent tongues, as we're aware of, and I'm always like, what are these tongues?

What are they insisting? Like right, why is that.

Always the term unpleasant existent?

It's like I insist, No, I insist, I insist, But it's tongues.

I don't get it. It's not sexy and it's used too much.

You know what other phrase I can't stand. I think I read it in this book, but I'm not one hundred person I'm sure is the I feel's just give it credit to this book. The he said not unkindly, just like stop, just say how like not he said not unkindly, Like how do you say it rude? Like nice? Friendly? That phrasing is the same. It's like I padded down the hallway is another one. This book had a lot of like weird little like.

That, Like yeah, I just there wasn't a lot good in this book. There was no good tension. I didn't care about any of the characters.

Just was it longer? Did you just feel long?

I don't think it was actually long, so I think it felt long, okay.

Daphane eventually gets to the point or or Amber gets to the point where she convinces him to divorce Daphne, and then Daphne's like, ha ha, I know you're trying to marry a woman who's should be in jail. So I give me money and let me go to California or else.

Which she went to. I she moved to.

She moved her two girls to so cal and then was like telling them it's okay, they don't have to worry about being thin. Ever it again, and I just like in my head, I was like, why did you Why did you move to so Cal.

Okay, I just move a little further east.

I think that wasn't the right place for you.

But okay, I'm gonna say something. Oh yeah, So so it wasn't a twist to find out the daph and he actually had a bad life. And then I don't think it's fair to call it a twist when we learn about what Amber did.

Oh at the very end, it was so stupid.

What it felt like was they had this big Okay, so first of all, Amber gets her way, she gets married, but then because Jackson finds out about who she really is, he starts abusing her.

But I guess we can assume he was gonna do that anyway.

I was surprised it took it.

It took up. Yeah, that's why I was saying.

I was still helping for my happy ending between the two of them.

But no, it's just he just is.

Also it's just like you're abusing someone else. Yay, we were supposed to say. But she comes at the end to like be like I knew, to kind of be like say her peace and be like I you thought I was your friend, I wasn't. I was onto you even though it was Stephanie. Daphne was not onto her until like way later, a.

Long time to be on her.

Oh my god, it was way it was way Oh god, what do we I don't even know.

Just and and I think that people say when there's twists, twists, I think this is supposed to count as one.

Yeah.

They just like blurred out at the end that what Amber did before she like left town and decided.

Right right, So why was Amber? Why did Amber run away? Well, apparently there was some rich boy who.

They were having.

She lied and said he raped her, and then he went to prison, and then he's now like then I guess he got beaten up in prison and now he's paraplegic or something.

Is that what it was?

Which exactly?

Yeah, And I just want to say, like, you can never have too many fake reports of rape in books by authors. Yeah, I know, also not very churning those out as many as not very feminist, but also.

Like I'm sorry, but Daphne was trying to be like, you don't even feel bad he's paraplegic. I'm like, well, she did not make him paraplegic. I'm sorry that happened in jail, but like it's she did some shitty stuff, but it's crazy to blame him her for that. That doesn't happen to everyone in jail. That's not like common. That's a very incompetated happen.

Yeah, but in the outrage and the surprise is like you've been through so much, you have me.

And also what it felt like is that the authors got to this point and they were like, wait a second, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait Live what.

Are their names? Live?

And no?

Lynn and uh Gallery and Lynn Valley.

They were like, Lynn was like, wait, is it bad that we made the hero of this book wins by having another woman abused?

Is that bad? And they were like, oh, yeah, maybe that, maybe that does look bad.

Oh I know, We'll just say a bunch of horrible ship that she did at the very end and justifies, you know, everything that she did to her.

It's like, yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't. It just feels like you're listening ship.

She just just like listening things and allowing an Amber was just like so what, I don't care, which was also a weird response to have, like why are you admitting things to this woman who said whatever?

It didn't make any sense. It's I'm starting to believe. What if one of the sisters is like a really insane bad is just always frantically trying to make sense of the plot. It is just cleaning things up.

So do I sell it? How do I sell it? Hey?

Yeah, I'll get the right, the first, right, the second. Yeah, you you started off, I'll land it home. My god, here, let's uh, let's play the uh the lamb Constantine writing exercise. I'll start the sentence and you'll have to fix it. Okay, ruby, red and glistening. Comma, gun, she said, Comma.

I'm listening, gun, she said under her breath. She licked her lips again.

Oh no, no, oh no, oh no, wait, I'm the This is an odd shade for a cherry lollipop.

Okay, okay, let me play one.

The bitch wouldn't stop with her lower lip quick, he thought.

As he checked himself in to a rehab program, realizing that he had finally hit rock bottom and it wasn't safe for him to be around people anymore.

I thought I was setting up. I thought Clara would come in with the dog, but it did happen.

Oh no, I want a crazy backup the rehabit.

Okay, yeah, crazy.

It was rehab for his knee from a tennis injury. He wished he could have sprung on her sooner for that stupid lip nonsense.

But his knee, goddamn knee.

That's a fun game. I have another. I have an answer as the author if we want.

To oh please, oh yeah, why not take me there?

It's a little unusual, okay. So this magazine that interviewed her, Internet magazine that interviewed her has a thing where when they interview an author, the author gets to ask readers a question and then you readers submit answers and they choose one and you get a signed copy of the book. And so this Lynn was the one they interviewed. And Lynn, you get to to ask a question to our readers.

Do your readers? Not that it's a competition, but who do you think is the prettier sister XL live? But she writes live and question in parentheses or quotation marks, so we don't know which sister does.

That's very funny. That's very funny.

It's not correct, dear reader, what's a what's a way to make a rich woman likable?

That's a hard one. That's a hard one.

Somebody wrote back, process, then a copy and pasted add into my email to my other sister.

This was Lynn's question. If someone gave you a gift card in the amount of twenty thousand dollars for any designer store, which store would you pick? And what would you buy?

This was research for the book.

Which store would you pick?

And why not?

And why?

And what would you buy?

Like that is She's.

That's a gross question.

That's such a boring question.

I have to imagine she was doing research for this book because there's so many dumb specifics.

I just think she's such a bad writer. She could not think of an interesting question, and she like tried to think of like if you had a million wishes, what would you wish for?

But she like women, what are women?

Like?

Yes, I'm actually shocked that this is two females.

When you say that, I'm like, this feels like a male pretending to be a female when you say things like.

This, yeah, yeah, yeah.

My response as a reader would be like, dear Lynn, when you said gift card and the number twenty thousand dollars. Of course, tim mind raced with possibilities. There could not have been a more disappointing finish to that sense than for which designer store?

Where was val Or Victoria? I can't remember.

The only thing I could do with that would be to buy something that was as resellable as possible. Yeah, so I could put it on eBay, resell it, and then use the twenty thousand dollars to buy a house.

And like, it's just it's such a bad question for like we're going to pick the best answer to give them a prize. It's like all the answers will be exactly the same.

How, yeah, how do you decide? I would love to know did they have a best answer?

Was it was that right?

I don't know.

I don't know. I mean, I maybe they just picked a random one because all the answers are the same, because you can only answer clothes or maybe jewelry.

I just want to know how you win that. I want to know you win it. That's my favorite store and that's my favorite thing you win, Like what right?

Yeah?

Maybe maybe it's just a random whatever, yeah, random from participants.

I have to be like I love your jokey question.

Yeah, we're who were you making fun of? It's like she thinks her audience would. She's like, my audience is rich women, right, and I'm fun And what's like it's barely a hypothetical. It's so boring. She's just it just shows like that she's the bad writer sister, like she has to show Okay, so imaginative. It's so bad. But I thought it would be a fun unusual answer as the author.

Mm hmm.

Netflix has it for a movie adaptation now, okay, but we don't know if it's gonna happen.

Is I just can't. I don't see how this is any good.

I mean, they could rewrite it, yeah, I guess, but they already did, didn't what's her face? We wrote it for The Housemaiden. I do think it was an improvement. I even I think that that book was crazy, but I didn't have the same.

Like it was better.

It was way better.

Yeah, it addressed the It had a character being like, you can't just swap with another woman because now the other one.

Yeah, they got together at the end. Yeah, it felt it was the last.

It was written second, so it was you know, so they had time. Yeah.

Yeah, but to be able to recognize mistakes.

They grew, they grew. It was brave.

Do you guys want to move on to the hates and all that, or no, we need to do good reads?

Yeah, yeah, let's move on to the boasts and then we'll get to our roasts, okay, and then we'll roast each other, and then we'll boast each other and then.

We'll I don't want to be a part of the cast, Claire, I know that, Jonah, I feel like you feel very good about Clara.

Sorry, did you get do you have the good reeds for that?

Okay? Forgot?

Okay, that's all right.

Well, usually used to do it all, so I don't know that.

I felt like, yeah, I don't know.

You're right, it's we're inconsistent. It was just like the producer doesn't now. But it's mostly because I don't want to.

Here you go.

Beth more Ban says this was a wild ride, also good for her. Clap Clap, clap, five stars.

I don't know was it clap emoji or did she write out there no, sorry it was that clap emoji.

Yeah, it wouldn't.

Okay, it makes me respect it less.

Here here Danielle says, Wow, Wow, Wow. This was an intense read, scandalized deception with a twist. I couldn't stop listening to this one. It is definitely an adult book, reminiscent of basic instinct.

I had to know how it ended.

It's not often that I find a book that I simply cannot put down, but this one was definitely that.

Therefore it gets five stars. I have a lot of questions for Danielle. Do you often not.

You often can't finish books? It feels like she's inferrying that she does. She gives up on books a lot.

No, Well, I don't know why she wouldn't give up on this one. I don't understand.

I don't it's definitely an adult book. What do you think?

Did you think this was a Did you go into this thinking it was a teenage I don't understand.

That's her way of saying the book has the book has rape in it. The way she hit it was like, I'll tell you what, it's adult.

I'd be a little.

More clear, because that means so many different things.

You love domestic, definitely adult.

It's like the way my mom would have described The Wolf of Wall Street famously at the It's day had like the most f words in any movie ever created. It was fun, it was adult.

Like sin.

What can one say?

No, I don't need anything, I don't have anything else. I like this one.

Janelle Janssen says, review to come six years ago, five stars.

You've had said rebewn to cup six years ago, it's never coming. But she gave it five.

Stars, but she doesn't have time to say why. All right, just trust her on this one. I'm ready with my hate rates. You're out of five. Fuck this the long Yeah, maybe everyone's an asshole?

Yeah yeah.

You can to write a character that hates rich people and I would be so annoying. It's like, come on, more bad things about rich people. Can't we all hate rich people together? You make me want to defend them?

Yeah?

Yeah, what are you breaking my brain?

Everything was so one dimensional. I also, I'm going to give it a one out of five. I agree it was there's not really much to like. I think if this kind of setup excites you, read The Housemaid or probably fifty other books that do the same thing. It just yeah, there was nothing likable about it, and I wouldn't have finished it if I didn't have to for his book club.

I'm giving it one point lower than whatever I gave The Housemaid. And I don't have access to that information yet to get better, Blake, maybe you do. Uh So whatever, that number was minus one. And I know that's not fair because this book was written first, but unfortunately for the authors, I did read it second, and that made me more mad that I was reading a book I hate it already a second time. It was like I had to reread The Housemaid. Can you imagine? But it's

Probably one?

All right? Uh yeah, maybe I'm going to change it to zero because this isn't a New York Times bestseller. And I'm gonna change it to a zero because like because of the shame it brought me with how I re extra research I thought I did.

And you know, honestly, really embarrassing, sir, It's really embarrassing, he wrote back to her.

She told me it wasn't said no, actually it is, and then you actually lead her.

I actually and all of us. Okay, no you you none of you?

So I'm gonna do hate rates. Are we all just saying Molly? Do I have to be the first to say it?

Or sure?

You know what I mean? Like, who wants to start.

The cast?

So we're gonna We're gonna shift blame to Molly.

That's what I think makes the most sense.

We can either turn on Johanna right now or all get on board with this.

I think we need to be an agreement. Guys support other women with me.

Molly called us parasocial, and if we're really friends, I would turn on her. If I'm treating her like a guest, then I wouldn't.

Molly really friends? Mollie, we're friends?

When I say back to you, no, it actually is The New York Times a seller, I need you to argue with me.

I need you to say, listen, bitch, I said what I said. You're wrong. I'm right. I needed that from you.

I needed that radical honesty from you, my parasocial friend, and I did not get it.

Molly, you emailed me. I never responded back, and then I never got a follow up any kind I never got like, hey, bitch, did you read my email? And you know for that, you're my little fucker, Molly.

We've had the recommender of the little fucker, Molly.

It wasn't a New York Times bestseller, which just makes it worse.

Makes it worse the number of times, say you had three times in the email, we still missed it. How dare you?

You said it so many times? I couldn't believe it, I said, she must. Oh my god, wow, I totally like ambered you.

I don't know it's my favorite, Molly, but it's funny to turn it my little.

Fucker all right now, it's what pretty princess, and it's Clara.

Clara Princess ever to live? Okay, moving right along, What do we do now? Is that the end? I feel like there's another part right well?

We are mean booked you book by cover you guys.

Oh okay, I don't have.

The covert either.

Probably I'll go pull it up right now.

I can look at it.

It looks better. It's it's how I expect it. It looks better than the book. It looks better than the book.

Pretty cool. There's a diamond for some reason. I guess that's the religion. I don't know.

Mine is like a person on a dock with a very large hair.

Oh yours is different, and.

God, it makes me want to read it by a pool.

I'm just looking at something.

With It doesn't happen in the book. Nobody sits on a dock and.

Realize it's kind of The one I'm looking at is like dark with orangey bronze font that's confusing because they're a bunch of like bronze lines going through it. So you could read the last Missus Parish, but you could also read the last m PS Popish.

Something you could read because it's a little confusing.

So it doesn't even cover.

Why does the book get to have three different covers, like actually four different covers. It just seems like bullshit, Like you get picked one cover and you can have another one. If you write another book, then you get to have another cover.

Those are the rules.

Okay, have a million covers. It makes me mad. Judge a book by its cover.

Zero for the.

All right, please uh please subscribe, Please rate us, give us five stars, and then you can trash us.

We don't care you said about me last week.

I do sort of care, alright, but I don't want to. I just want the five stars.

All right, Okay, I want the five stars, but I also think we have a nice cast.

I just feel like someone kind of trashed me last week, and be fun if like everyone went after one other person.

It was.

It took the longest warm up to Johna.

Each of you has earned a place in my heart. With Johanna being the slowest to do something with it was like with Johanna taking the longest.

You, guys, please join our Patreon. Become a patron. You can get these episodes without ads. Please send us your book wrecks and what are we reading next episode?

Guys, Seven Husbands.

Of Evelyn Hugo.

Evelyn Hugo. That's right, Yes, the segment always pops up on me, you know what I mean, I've never prepared for.

Well, I'm not gonna pick, not until we get to this point. Am I going to actually go find that book?

And I'm not always an emergency?

Yeah?

All right, I'm excited for that one, and god damn it, and I really hope it's a New York Times bestseller, but I'm not gonna check until right before all Right, let's go, we'll.

See, we'll see.

Maybe we'll get joined by I don't know you know, and I'm not gonna bring up Sabrina.

I don't know why.

Yeah, just don't bring her up.

Just just don't.

Don't bring her up. Nobody bring her up. Don't bring her up again. Okay, all right, we'll see you next time, guys.

Bye, bye, my thanks again.

She said that, dripping with sarcasm.

No no, no, Ka