BONUS: Murder on Sex Island by Jo Firestone with Jo Firestone

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It says a psychosexual thriller on the cover. And yes, I thought that would get people to read it. It does. You know, honestly, I think it's a great title. Murder on Sex Island? You know, you know what you do this podcast before people put their books out. Because I think that would be really helpful. An LOL at a book. Why don't like it? And there's a spot. Yeah, there's multiple in this, which is very impressive. If you do, don't publish.

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You just have to make sure to Google it beforehand because a lot of things turn up the Jeffrey Epstein. And that's the title. God. [Music] Hello and welcome to Mean Book Club. We are back with a very special bonus episode. You might be like, "Why is Clara introducing Isara Sik or Hurt?" She would never allow this. She must be in a coma. She let me. She's nice, actually. [Laughter] And this is a very special episode because of our guest tonight. Well, why don't we go ahead?

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Oh yeah, I'm so fired up. You're busy meeting all of us. We're never going to be on a leavey. New York Times bestsellers that shouldn't be. Now, we whine about them. Or hilariously critique. So I've always wanted to say it, so whine. I'm Clara. I'm Sarah. I'm Johnna. I'm Sabrina. And we have a very special good friend guest with us today. Joe Firestone is a comedian, actor, writer, and former Clara Morris roommate.

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Selected credits include Z, well, Joe Peritox with you, Teenage Euthanasia, The Tonight Show and Shrill. She co-hosts the long-running podcast, Dr. Game Show with Manolo Marano. Joe has created three specials, good timing with Joe Firestone, Critics Choice Nog. Great. The cookie adult swim and a self-titled half hour for Comedy Central. Her newest card game, Fruits co-created with Josh Nap is available in stores now, but that's not why she's here today.

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She's here today because she is the author of forthcoming book Murder on Sex Island. Ooh. Joe Firestone. Thank you for being here. Joe, thank you for being... This is the first episode where we are going to be roasting the author of the book we are doing. That's very special to us. We've taught a big game about wanting an author. I was bluffing. No, I'm telling you. We've always wanted the author of a bad book and you have... We'll see. And we have to... This is a caveat.

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Typically, we do do New York Times bestsellers. That's why this is a bonus. Okay. Yeah. We do expect it to get there, but we're doing it. We don't know. Oh, yeah. Before the official call. Before the call, but ultimately, time will prove us correct. And so, we're going to do our best to punch up because you're above us as a hit New York Times bestselling author. Okay. I actually... Yeah. Right. It's hard, Joe, because we like...

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We like to say we're punching up because the New York Times bestsellers were not at that situation with you yet. So, I would like if you could just take a moment, maybe 30 seconds or so to just talk down to us as book readers who are pitiful, who've never written our own books. Just so it can feel a little more like punching up for us. Totally. Yeah. Well, it looks like only one of you wears glasses, which is embarrassing, that's the rest you don't have. I have glasses. Oh, really?

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You have them, but you don't need them right now. So... Or what? Yeah. So, you don't have glasses. I only sell you do. And now it's turned out most of you have glasses. So, I guess the thing is, is that, you know, a lot of books, they are published by editors and book agents. And I will say this is that it turns out you don't need any of them. You just need to submit with confidence. That's it. I do need that. I don't know if that was motivational. Yeah. Oh no. This is going to be hard, is it?

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Okay. Okay. I got it. I got it. You read books. You read books? How about liking books? Oh. I like that. That is that. Honestly, it's a fair criticism. It's a fair criticism. I really... I do wonder this all the time when I think about, like, when I'll listen to an episode or I'll see your posts out, just wonder how you all spent so much time reading these books. I really, this is what I am very curious because you read so many books. You read. Thank you.

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And they're all books that make you angry. It matches that time was spent on something good that was better. Yeah. Language is in some way. Better than reading books. I feel like reading books is... Yeah, but what if we were reading Tolstoy or something? I would be doing that. I would be watching more TV. Yeah. I love TV, man. Yeah. It was good. The best. But, Joe, I actually would love to hear a little bit about your story about how you came to write this and basically, like...

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What was the... I know you're self-publishing. What was your journey to making that decision? Well, I did try to get it legitimately published because I was unemployed for a really long time and I wrote this book thinking it could be a big hit. And then I tried to submit it to a bunch of book agents and editors and everyone was like, get away. And then... Can't believe I can't believe that. You're legit. It's shocked. It is shocked. I'm actually shocked.

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We read a lot of books that do get published and maybe they're just looking for worse content publishers. Well, so that I thought, okay, well, I was going to make this a big hit because I was like, I don't... Because the thing is, it's like, I make my money now going out at night to do state it. Right. And that's not a lot of money. Thank you for specifying to do stand up. So then I don't really like leaving the house at night. I don't really like leaving the house.

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And I thought this could be a perfect job for me as book author. But then this turned out to be actually not a job, but something I'm paying money to do. And so now I've spent money and I'm trying to make back the money. And that is interesting to do. And so I guess the end. But yeah, the end. I don't take a class. I take a class as well. How many books do you need to sell to break even? I need to sell 400 books to break up. We got to have 400 books in Earth. Yeah, we can't. No, 400 total.

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Yeah. We can do it. We can do it. We can do that. We can do that. We can do that. I think we've probably already done it to read along before the cast. So thank you. Congratulations Jill. What did they do? Do they read it? Sometimes? Yeah. Sometimes they do. We've got some angry messages that I read this one. Why did you tell me to read it? Why didn't you give me the trigger warning? And if you haven't, we're going to link to it so you can go ahead and buy it. Yeah. It's good.

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I'm going to have a bit of a reversal of character this cast. Yeah, clearly. I like the book and Joe is my good friend and I love her. So I can't really see the flaws if there are any. Oh, okay. Well, I got one. I got one. Okay. Sarah, go for flaw. Thank you. Smiley in the outline. You pronounce Dolce and Gabana, Dolce and Gabana. Okay. I learned I don't know how to pronounce so many words. I tried to do, oh, God. Oh, I pronounced vigilante with a hard G. It's so embarrassing.

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Oh, I noticed that one. I got an idea. No, they made me redo it. But it was just there's so many words I did not know how to pronounce. Gabana, Dolce and Gabana. Yeah, there's a song. My Humps, right? Yeah. Clara who loves music knows. Yeah. I know my Humps. Come on. The universal. All right. I am. We are. You're better. We're off. We're off. Okay. So who recommended this book to us? Let's just get back on that one. That would be Joe Farsten herself. She reached out to us. You do it.

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I think it's great initiative. I think you're going to hate this. Great initiative, Joe. Thanks for the initiative. Thanks. Let's see. All right. Now we like to do a segment called How to Read It. And this is kind of neat because Joe is releasing the chapters of the book that she's reading as the author. Chapters of the book is an audiobook via podcast every week. So I listened to as much of that is is released. And then I actually do a bone to pick with the rest. I had to read on PDF.

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Because Joe sent us some PDFs, which was nice. I mean, we don't have to pay for the book. The book doesn't come out has not come out as of the recording. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it's not that fun to read a PDF. No. Going to your email every time. I mean, I also think it's hard because. I mean, we do a lot of auditing. I mean, we do a lot of audio books. And sometimes the book reader will be like, really bad or like the way they do a character is really annoying.

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And then so we have a difference in opinion. If you like read it versus you listen to it. But for this one, since we all did the same thing. And we don't know that. Okay. Did you not did somebody not listen to? I haven't had my time on the area yet. Okay. All right. It's like when I met Melissa Athera's the other day and Meg introduced me. She said, this is Sabrina. I was like, I got to say that. That's what I wanted to say. This is the only time Sabrina has talked about needing Melissa Athera.

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Why are we talking about that right now? Well, she was like, you were trying to say how I got it. I really don't understand the story. Could you say it is? Oh, God. Yeah. Let's spend more air time on this. I was just trying to say that the Joe's performance was superb. And I would recommend I like. I wish I could have podcasted the whole. I listen to the whole book. It is. I will. In fact, a bone I'm going to pick. I guess is that the pod is so good.

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It's the reading of it is so good and it's so in your voice. And then I have to turn to my own voice. My own stupid, well, I have this exact conversation where she had not started it yet. And I was like, well, be prepared because you only get 22 chapters of Joe reading it. And then you have to read it yourself. The tease you're going to be so much worse at reading it than she is. And now I feel not only less funny and stupid, but ugly somehow because I don't read it. It is good.

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Yeah, Joe. You're very funny. You really find the job. You find the. Yeah. Well, I think that you know, that's the thing is that anyone can accomplish something with self-publish. I've been on spending a lot of time with self-publish Reddit. And I'd say it's one of the it's really it's both encouraging and. And you know, it's like, it's like, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know.

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It's like basically it's like everyone's like, did I should I not have self-publish and everyone's like, no, you shouldn't. And they're like, if you're in any other way, and they're like, not with what you wrote. And that is what. It's like, it's like the land of no choices. And it's so beautiful. So. And it's like, after I believe was like originally, yeah, now that has a bunch of movies and it was very bad.

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Yeah. And then a publisher was like, that I will call in Hoover started as a self-publish. No, famously. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just want my mom to write it. Yeah. I got to go. I got to tell Reddit because they don't. I don't think they mentioned. They should. They should bring her up. Wait, I did want to say one other thing because I was excited to talk about how I read it because it's very different for me. Okay. Which is I did do it.

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I did do as much podcast audio book as I could then PDF, but the special thing is that I listened to it at one time speed. Oh, okay. Which I have never done. That is a big deal for Sabrina. That's a great. Never done that. Sabrina does like two times three times speed with these books. That's how you can hear them. She can't. Absolutely. She cannot. She cannot. I can't. And I do. And I stand by that I know as much as all of you.

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They'll be like parts of the book that she's like, wait, what happened? The character was gay. Wait, but do you think that character has been dead for 200 pages? Okay. I will say because I can't pay attention to audio books and I don't understand what's going on ever. But I will say that the best one, the best actors of all time for audio books and correct me. I'm wrong. I've seen that. I've seen that in the last couple of years. I've seen that in the last couple of years.

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I've seen that in the last couple of years. I've seen that in the last couple of years. I've seen that in the last couple of years. I've seen that in the last couple of years. I've seen that in the last couple of years. I've seen that in the last couple of years. I've seen that in the last couple of years. I've seen that in the last couple of years. I've seen that in the last couple of years. I've seen that in the last couple of years. I've seen that in the last couple of years.

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I've seen that in the last couple of years. I've seen that in the last couple of years. I've seen that in the last couple of years. I've seen that in the last couple of years. I've seen that in the last couple of years. I've seen that in the last couple of years. I've seen that in the last couple of years. I've seen that in the last couple of years. In theory, or various bedrooms. Sparks are flying between Nate and Blair. We see them having sex. David and Sarah. We see them having sex.

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But who will Tasha sleep with now that David G is gone? Maybe Ethan and his 10 inch penis? We see a photo of Tasha in a photo of Ethan with animated We see a photo of Tasha in a photo of Ethan with animated We see a photo of Tasha in a photo of Ethan with animated Hard's popping up between them. We see a photo of Tasha in a photo of Ethan with animated Hard's popping up between them. We see a photo of Tasha in a photo of Ethan with animated Hard's popping up between them.

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We see a photo of Tasha in a photo of Tasha in a photo of Ethan with animated We see a photo of Tasha in a photo of Ethan with animated And take home the hundred thousand dollar grand prize is still raging tune in every night at eight to follow the action and Louis Levan Horn is here because she's an undercover private detective trying to solve David

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She's murdered. Oh, I wasn't supposed to say that part the end Really good Clara, thank you, I'm worried that you weren't getting in that it was a murder mystery One quick burst at the end. Yeah, yeah, it was more fun that way I felt Yeah, I liked it. I don't hear anyone saying cop out so it's not I did so I forgot the detail go ahead So there's our book for you Is that a good summer you want to put that on the book cover? Yeah, I would totally

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From cover I think it's that of the title. Yeah, from You know, I know why more authors don't do that. Why not just put as much info on the front as possible Why are you limiting yourself with just a title? I always want more words. Yeah, just sell it to me. Use the real estate Yeah, are we doing it wrong?

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John, I didn't put it in the outline, but if you wanted to do a cover critique Judge the book by its cover yeah, I don't Sabrina like to even though it's a podcast They like to talk about the way the book looks and feels we have good descriptive language that we have So the book felt a lot like my computer It was very very flat and digital I'm looking at a pink and red cover for is that what is the actual printed book cover look like? Pink and red it's in

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Blue font is it raised is any of it embossed? No no I like that is a luella van horn mystery, which I like that. There's more great work Okay, have you written a second one? Joe are you ready to go with part two?

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No, I've been writing I've been writing a little bit of it, but it's really Everyone says that the characters two depressed now, so I gotta work on it I think it's because I'm depressed So I gotta work on it I gotta get better punching up punching up Yeah, I think that is first honestly a really fun character though It's just Luella, but she like can she can only do her job some days Yeah, yeah, she's yeah, this yeah, she's In this one, she goes to a personality camp to get better

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I like it a lot does that exist? No no You it also says a psychosexual thriller on the cover and yeah I thought that would get people to read it it does you know honestly I think it's a great title murder on sex island That's oh my god, I mean when you attend it, I was like I already hate how good the title is Well, it was gonna be called sex island period And then uh then uh my boyfriend was like you should say there's a murder

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But then it was yeah, but it was I did you know, I think I'm going I I felt really bad about it and not and so because it wasn't getting published and then So then I thought what I thought I would I would publish it or append name Uh, independent was gonna be JJ loaf loaf L-O-A-F Yeah, do you think that's good? I do I like it a lot I don't think to it sounds fake I think you know I think you're spoiled by having such a cool you life name Yeah, I mean your actual name is better than J.J.

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Lo like if I I would have married if I married you I would have taken your last name

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You know what I mean? It's a good name Yeah, I think you're a little spoiled with how excellent Joe Firestone is I think you can even okay Let's try our own Yeah, it's right for you I feel the right We can call you JJ loaf if that suits you more Yeah, but it's okay, but you call me JJ loaf for the rest of the episode Okay, okay, JJ Well, I do know You just a lot named too because Johnna will think she's JJ I call you I call you Who JJ?

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Okay, I love you the name of your dog I have to reveal that I know that Yeah, so in this situation have you married the dog and just like oh shit Yeah, my last name, but I wanted to take his name Oh, what's the situation Or is it just a image? It's just a whole no no It's definitely that I married my dog And I took his first name and he took my last name Oh Wow, and I also comes on mean book club and is really aggressive Huh, huh?

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Oh my god I'm really bold Well, if you think of me There's a bother you guys There's a bother you guys when you take your pet to the vet They write their name I don't know if your vets do this They write willows name and quotes and then my last name Like that's not his name But they go well Absolutely, that is not They do not do that That is not my name I've never had that happen Let's new vet I think when you filled out the form The first time you put the quotes there I would Fucking never

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Hey listen, that's weird I bet you did I absolutely don't We have the same vet Yes, it's it's Sabrina's best friend Yeah Oh, the Unactual friend It's a very good friend of ours I'm not talking about our friend I'm talking about whoever is writing on his prescription Quo willow and quote Scrapes I don't care for it He's right, we all right, we all live Bring it up No, they're actually so lovely It's like the best vet experience I've ever had every single time That's good because it's rare

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I was I went to the vet over the quarantine And that was like when you were allowed to go in You had to drop your dog off And I dropped my dog off with my boyfriend And my boyfriend took the dog and dropped Like gave it to the vet tech And the vet tech goes to my boyfriend He goes Who's gonna pick him up later You are your mother And all around insult to every one of you Including the dog That's pretty good He's got a great beard My friend is more still But is he, but is his mom still

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That's he gave us Oh no, that's why we No, that's not what's talking to the dog Maybe the vet talk was talking to the dog The vet's all Joe from afar And said That's a 50 something year old woman That's what I'm raising Up close she could correctly see your boyfriend's age And said well he lives with his mom That must be her back there Yeah, the devil is the one I think it was eight feet away It's a devil Eight It's incredible It worked out I got rid of the coat I was wearing I gave it away

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You have to Yeah, you have to burn anything you have on in that moment What was the coat Completely reassessed I thought it was really cool It was like one of those oversized coats But I guess oversized coats do kind of look like coats in Oh women with a lot of stuff is weird Yeah, I guess she thought she were like a shrinking Frailed woman Oh and she's not insulting your boyfriend He's taking care of you Oh my god He's nice for living with his

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So in this scenario, Clare, it's not that he's like 30 something living with his 50 something mom He's he's perhaps in his early 40s living with his elderly About to get the home Yeah Mother Helping her with a little He's holding with him at this point Yeah, he wants Yeah, she didn't want to go to a home and he said, all right, mother, I honor you I will I'll take care of you What's funny to me is the confidence with which she said she was like so certain you were his mother

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It wasn't even a question of like, should I say that should I make this guess It's just like Look That's um Can we can we move on to John as jugs please Yes, we can Okay, next segment Um I What a juggle Real high as my jug Gives away a plot point and so I'm changing it up I think that's a Er You know No, I think I think you can say it You think so?

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Yeah, there's a good yeah If it doesn't give away the very ending Yeah, I think it could be the end of it Okay So my jugs This is a drink bearing If it's not clear It's called the anti-freeze cocktail And the reason being is that there is a question of Is Anti-freeze involved it's kind of introduced I feel like halfway through um in

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The murder on sex island or is it not and as soon as I heard that I was like I guarantee there's something called an anti-freeze cocktail that people serve at college bar You can have a little bit for it keep coction Yes, you can have a little bit Yeah, you can have a little bit I believe I'm not I think it's not anymore But I think anti-freeze used to be weirdly sweet So if you were served a glass of it You you could drink it and you would not know that you were drinking something

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That is the toxic Yeah, I think that's why they made it like a really bright color But then with all the sports drinks out there it doesn't really work that way Doesn't work and in fact the very first alcohol I ever had Legally was Something that looks just like Attifreeze it probably tastes like it's called blue curacao Yeah It is Right blue and so the anti-freeze cocktail is a one and a half ounces of vodka Half ounce of blue curacao Four ounces sour mix and a splash of spryte it sounds like

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Hmm, I love spryte An absolute nightmare of a drink It would be good if you want to ruin yourself for two to three days after having I think just one cocktail but I thought it would be fun And um you could Halloween theme cocktail too Yes Mm-hmm Yeah Carousel tastes like what?

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They all taste the same like just sort of like sugar Rubbing alcohol and vengeance It's worth a color that you're drinking it for it's like Oh this is extremely blue But that's fun that's a fun it is fun All right let's take the I was just gonna say that um pairs nicely with the book but that's a good one jonna Because I know a lot of times we give you a lot of crap For your terrible periods You did a good job this time yes you did I accept the very insulting compliment

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And I'm gonna just convert it to just a compliment in my mind That's what we got to do Perfect beautiful Um let's take a quick commercial break and when we come back we're gonna I don't know we'll talk about the book and author I guess a little bit but mostly we're gonna dive into the book BRB And we're back uh Clara you want to give us some j j or jj loaf background Yeah Joe is um younger than me but older than Sabrina I think she's probably around jonna and seris age

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So we like it when the authors are a little bit older than us because it sort of Gives us like oh yeah we could still do it Yeah exactly if they're too young they piss us off Yeah two youngs you are older than me Yeah yeah Um let's see

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Joe was born in st. Louis and Little grew up there she had a West Highland Terrier There's a big blank space on our uh document under author by the way And so Clara is Do you have time to get your childhood This is our memory so go ahead Clara keep going Um she has an older brother named Ben Uh who is in a frat which is kind of different than How Joe is Huh Joe wasn't in a frat Oh once her dad told a joke that was like both my kids love movies My daughter you don't want me to say it

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No you can tell it this I don't have to No go for it Both my kids love movies My my daughter loves watching movies with her friends And my son loves making movies with his girlfriend Oh wow okay I get it And when Joe told me this story she explained it it's like great I have two kids ones will lose or ones a porn star One's the coolest person I know Let's see then she went to college Oh congratulations Thank you Thank you Let's assume it was near St. Louis Okay And then

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And she moved to New York City Where she became a thriving stand-up comedian Is hilarious she ran the show Punderdome 3000 For many years Uh um Let's see she won an Andy Kaufman award for being so funny Okay I'm sorry She's nominated several times for an Andy Kaufman award for being so funny and she probably should have won She's gotten she went to just for laughs for as a new face comedy The specials that I said in her opening so she's been a huge successes stand up

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She's written for a bunch of shows like I said in the opening and now she's written a book Ta-da Joe How much of that was accurate what do you say? Well I would say that certain you know certain things where I'd say um I'd say maybe Exaggerated in a little bit but uh overall I'd say some of it was correct I'd say I'd go say 65% Really nice Okay Oh yeah Were you born in New York? You'll grow up St. Louis?

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Yeah I did Yeah Nailed it Nailed it Yeah So Midwest is hard for people not from Midwest It's all very similar to me Well Yeah and this you know that's something to think about Are you in fact 35-ish?

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I am older than that I am That fits my description Yeah older than Sabrina I think Clara I think I may be Clara you have to sing your part I'm there Well I'm gonna be 37 in December I'm already 38 So Okay You're too new You're Okay It was accurate and younger than Clara than Sabrina You were Yeah Well um What about did you go to college around St. Louis? You seem to not agree with that one Yeah I didn't think that one Okay where did you go to college near?

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I don't know where Okay I went to college on the East Coast which is kind of all the same movie think about it Okay Okay Wow The Senegalist They're coming Okay She doesn't understand anything about these girls What state Connecticut I went to Wesleyan But she said Wesleyan that's right There's yeah The St. Louis of the East Coast They're St. Louis of the East Coast They say They say You must do drugs Oh did you do a lot of drugs in college?

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No no I didn't touch your stuff You never touch your drape of drink Didn't touch your drape of drink Okay Great Well You were in a fraternity?

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No I wish I was So it would have be wonderful You seem to You seem to fight back against that one Yeah That's where your brother did It felt like a big reaction Well I just you know I just thought Then maybe that didn't I wasn't I feel kind of like a cool bro And I just feel like You know the fact that you said that my brother was so different from me I just don't know If that's accurate So sure he does lift a lot more weights And I do And sure he's Good at drinking beer Sure he's

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Cool, Linda Florida Wow That's the way he was described to me from you Like He's different That's how I described me My sister We're different Shoes and sorority There I don't have to Keep explaining it My sister was sorority And my brother was in a fraternity And I Was not Did theater Was a nice shorthand So nice shorthand That I guess did theater covers as well I didn't even watch that Famous rush documentary Of course I got it Okay I just felt I don't know I watched it

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I was like I don't think I'm a human being Like did you do feel that way?

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I was So I mean the reason I watch reality tv Honestly is because I like to watch people ruining their lives I think from afar And watching that I was like this is so funny to watch people Making this horrible decision to go to The University of Alabama Just to be in a sorority It's the only reason It is the only reason they go It's really bizarre But so many of them Yeah It's a great documentary I really recommend anyone watch it But it's basically about how What you have to do to

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Make yourself the same enough To be accepted into an Alabama sorority Wow And it is It's so horror show It's like what it's like a horror movie Nice to you I don't think so Clara No I don't think so So shame West Island Terrier Yes for you that I did have a Westie I did have a Westie Congratulations That's like an I know the talk for that meant I'll feel the way for you I know what a Westia is I didn't know what a West Island Terrier was Oh god Clara was using the dogs last night

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So let's talk about the book a little bit Let's do the book Let's do it All right We're sorry, are there characters Or do you wish that the premise I think we're talking about Oh yeah Let me quickly The premise is Go ahead Yes, there's piss now The book is about a contestant Who goes missing on a reality show called Sex Island And the detective The LL van Horn Who must solve the case undercover as a cast member Yeah I really like the starting off point Where you had like a

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This kind of like novice Detective whose life had kind of fallen apart And was Really into pretending to be someone they weren't Like Luella Their detective is like an alter ego And then also obsessed with sex island And just happens to be like bingeing it And then finding out that there was a murder Or there was someone missing to start with And that they needed her to come on and go undercover I was just like I want to say I felt like also you did such I don't supposed to be mean

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I'll find things I felt like you did such a good job Of quickly building that character And telling us what the premise is I feel like a big issue I have with so many in the book reread is I feel like I'm a third of way through the book And I still don't know why I'm reading it And I felt like I knew so quickly They said it was too fast No A lot of people have That's because you're a comedy writer I bet you're used to getting premise out It was not Maybe that's the way Publishers you went to

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They were like Oh we need to Not understand what's happening for longer You think more It's so dumb I don't want to sit there for a third of the book Not knowing what's going on That's fascinating though That was feedback when that's something we like I got that a lot You need more flowery language And more descriptions of the place And more descriptions of like Just slower And he's very less slower I don't know what you're doing there There's a lot of interesting dialogue You know what I mean

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When it's just like Well I'm just freezing through this I'm not getting stuck in pages The pages of what color the walls were Yeah I love the one And author tries to show me How good of writer they are by just With the description of the setting Prove it to me and your setting description I will say AP English Yes That's what I love You know the word Ferdinance Luella Slash Marie Marie is her real identity So her background She's When the book starts She's like 29 I think

42:33

But she has this whole history of like She had been like a sad Nylon She's so short worker She was a wife and They kind of had a falling out So she's she's devourous She's moved out on her own And I was like 29 This woman sounds like She's 43 Yeah She's been the ruler I couldn't I was like I could not Imagine and also you know why Joe I do think This is just how your your personality reads older than you are Knowing you I was like okay This is actually how Joe was at 29 years old But Gevor

43:19

Living on that Nylon Or personality wise But I was like this sounds like a 43 I don't know My sister My sister Social worker The divorce by 27 I believe Oh wow Wow This is right so it happens It feels pretty Pretty enough to be on a show called Sex Island Well That's a nice we're not doing that Although the listener at home can imagine how pretty that means I am Yes Yeah Yunger version of that My goodness What's sure in home Yummy Just to match Well I'm like so upset that you got that feedback

44:02

Because I actually couldn't think that it's more wrong I I wrote it down in my notes how much I liked The like speed Quickness with which I understood where I was like Okay think about like a pilot on a TV show If like hopefully the TV show is on for 10 seasons And you have 200 episodes If you don't understand the premise of the TV show in episode one Why are you watching episode two Like in all these books if it weren't for me in book club I don't know why I'm reading chapter two

44:35

And Sabrina likes a lot of the books And I do I'm so scared Well yeah I guess that I think the thing that yeah Though other I guess some people that I would say it's confident We'll just say that Like a lot of people have asked me if this is autobiographical Which is so embarrassing How did they even ask this?

45:03

A rude They asked me if it's based on my life And it's so embarrassing and it just also The character is so like Mousy and they think that I'm describing myself And it's that bad It's really bad So if you ever read a book At this point Just be aware that that will happen Joe a big mistake you made Yeah and maybe Sabrina might disagree with me here But is that you made Louwella blonde And I agree Okay Louwella should have been a redhead Redhead Oh my gosh you're right She should have Oh my gosh

45:41

She's gonna be a redhead No I actually think it kind of So I think it fits This Mousy person's character Like this Mousy person She would think that blondes are hot She doesn't even conceive that redheads Are the hot ones No that makes sense That makes sense So for her character I didn't know redhead was supposed to be like that Until we started a mean book club And every fucking woman had red hair We did not Every hot woman As a blonde I've been pretty offended by the whole thing

46:14

Oh and if you have dark hair you're evil Yeah Well I knew that I have from Jesus From witches But that is a thing And then every If you read a lot of mysteries I don't know how many mysteries you've read in this In this podcast but You could have out Yeah Yeah That all of the men have green or blue eyes They all have blue eyes Yeah Our queen's blue eyes We can't look into brown poop eyes Yeah We need to see the sea baby Yeah We have to see forever in those eyes Oh my gosh

46:48

Have you read a lot of mysteries Joe Like are you an agatha Christy gal Yeah I read a lot of mysteries I like agatha Christy a lot I really There was this new one I read that was really juicy About a podcaster That was really good I love you And dark corners Yes You suggested to me But then I looked it up And there were two books called dark corners And so I didn't follow You could have been too hard That's it That's it I would say this was in the vein Of We've been reading a couple of these

47:18

Like it's called a cozy mystery Which yeah So it's like there's nothing to Usually like in a cozy mystery It's like you're not going to see anything too horrifying But it is of absolutely like a thriller mystery And But it's kind of fun to read too And it was weird to think of like A sex island is a place for a cozy mystery But it was Yeah There was a lot of cuddling and sex happening And that was very cozy And not but not sex But not sex It was not sex Well there was sex but off page Off page

47:53

Yeah there's not a lot of pain in tracinets Yeah which is Is another criticism of mine I use to refer I prefer penetration I did want to But some of the people And we could have And I can't And it was a lot of like *coughs* They didn't do it But some of the sexual imagery was so good for me Not in like a A rousing way But one of my favorite lines of the book is when Someone described someone else's balls as smelling like Lippton soup mix And that just I mean I've never

48:29

Felt something was more real I just Oh yeah They were great descriptions I think you described the weather as like Minestroney once And that really got me It was super It was like a great soup I wrote down a favorite one Which was Stephanie stood in the doorway Looking like hell Truly like a cat that got run over by a large truck And managed to live I went a writer's group With this like with people from my class From my mystery writing class And they were like

49:01

I remember I got a note on that line They said They said What is that? What is that?

49:06

They said they were very cute But also they're the cat The cat or the balls are which line The cat they're like cat Why would cat get run over by the truck And then but then they also they're but they've been very supportive But they they're like They did think I said come too many times That was a big thing What is sex island But they said there's too much come There's so big They said more useless They wanted different euphemisms for it or Yeah I think so Yeah because it was like

49:36

It was so interesting because I really I've never met these people in real life And like they come from all different parts of life And none of them are like New York comedian types And it's like oh my gosh you're right The comm is it is hard to read When you're like I wonder what you're about It's not that you're just saying like He splurded all over the sheets No Yeah, yeah splurded is good Yeah that's yeah you That's good You have you're You're way to become a self-published person

50:02

It's just like I think it is like nice to Hear from people that are not So used to the crude Grass language Yeah Society And that's mean that by the five of us Our own little society The problem is like I've just seen so many penises in the wild of New York City I guess that joke Yeah Reading the word comm Absolutely It didn't even notice it I did not bother you I don't even remember being said one time to be honest I did pick up on the 10 inch penis which was mentioned a lot

50:39

Which seems excessive Yeah Yeah Yeah, I did prove to that's part of it Yeah, and that's I think part of the sex island producers of it all like That's how reality shows go I Yeah, I guess they did the big note I did get several several times was that there are too many characters There's just too many characters And I'll approximately That 60 And so they're like you need to cut it down And then I was like or you can mention like a physical trait every time you mention them

51:14

And I was like oh, okay, I'll do that And so that's why I was every time I mentioned Ethan I'd be like it's 10 inch piece The 10 inch Yeah It was that that's a good note That was helpful So the writers group pushed you into that The same people that said less calm Basically forced you to be like Remember you know the planets We're nice What was helpful Especially because they're reality show guys They're all sort of similar in the first place You picked the bland bland names for the guys also

51:41

Yeah, yeah, they girls They used to be all named um There was there was a Daniel And there was a David and then there was a like a Doug And there was in the And there was a lot of D Yeah, the writers group was like you should make a different names I would show names like Phil And like just names that are like What was Philly that just names that feel like they're from Somebody's 50 at least I would say Joe next time try to go for long names Because then too you get that page count up

52:14

Oh yeah, there's good Oh yeah Yeah I do think that when you're writing Like even writing like a sketch I think it's so embarrassing to pick out names Yeah I love this It's like a little window into Into me that I don't want to show people I always say people after like other people I know Or like And it helps me imagine the character Because I'm have I ever come up as a character Sabrina ever been a character Yeah, I was Sabrina's been a character in my work

52:43

The first thing I ever submitted to a writing competition And I wrote Sabrina as my main character And the feedback I got was um This character is too unbelievable Just a cheap knockoff of uh The lead on two broke curls It's a real person Life outch Cheap knockoff They put that in writing Oh it's not even a mean as thing they said Joe It's an anonymous It's an anonymous feedback And I it ended with um The author should be ashamed to have even submitted this Jesus Wow This was for children

53:23

Some people Uh Well it was for adults Uh but it was I was like 22 It was the first like I was like I would pilot I'll just put it in here Um Yeah Oh yeah I'd love to know who wrote that I really would Because it was just like I don't think that they Are successful or famous Like I don't think we'd recognize the name based on I assume they're dead Yeah, they're probably dead No, they're not Probably There That is I would say that that is like I think that is just

53:55

It is so vulnerable to put out a pilot A pilot where people are talking Yeah Yeah People are saying actually I had two You have a David G and a David N I had two mats because it was based on Partly on my husband who worked in the restaurant industry And there were like three mats at the restaurant And they the feedback I got was like And to have two characters with the same name All I can say is Intentionally confusing Without any benefit So uh Fair But David G just was very memorable

54:32

I do want to talk a little bit more about Phil Because Phil comes in and he's like When Louella comes undercover Is in me like going after Louella And I really like to feel I like how you red fill Um I just like like his dopey attitude That he was going for And that Louella was falling for him Like or was like into him Yeah It was cool how Louella could insult him be like he's stupid But he's still gonna help it I was disappointed In the scene where they finally were to have sex

55:08

That she seemed to Went out That that she didn't try to go for it at all Um that's what I wanted from her Interesting Yeah To shoot her shot If you want to shoot her shot I did I did But I feel like Sorry I feel like if she went for it And he rejected her Then that would have had to change the whole trajectory Of the book So I feel like Her being comfortable with him Faking the sex Well I think it would have been more like Bless a rejection more like her realizing

55:45

Oh this is actually how it's done Oh I see Not like it didn't need to be a rejection But I just I wanted to see her Sarah just wanted to see some people I did want to see more P and V But I think a little background here for the listeners that Um this was they were on TV Uh yes The sex island shows sex So it They go under cover Regular sex Was gonna have to have sex on TV So Sarah I think you're I it felt very real to me That she was scared and didn't want to do that Okay Yeah She was there

56:22

She got that far I would have gotten out of it before then I think yeah On TV I guess you're undercover Do you think?

56:30

Under the blankies Under the blankies I think I think it was To me I think it's like I think it's more Um I would have guessed that it was actually supposed to be fake So it would have been for me I would have liked it if she Interesting If she thought it was gonna be real And but and Oh you know the other thing here is also why I think after that point She kind of backed off being into fill And I wanted her to keep being into fill I wanted more of her following for fill

57:01

Because I thought that was so fun And after that I feel like she was like Lesson to him and I missed it I missed it I'd be more into a guy after that I think I'd be like You're so well So I respect to me You might be you might be a virgin I love the I love the Luella fill I loved their chemistry I like when he put his finger in her mouth I love it Oh okay I like it he gave her the sex hug Which is how Joe describes the kind of hugs that Phil gives Which is like We're gonna have sex later Yeah

57:33

Yeah Joe, have you worked on reality TV shows Because it really felt like you knew the environment Really really well Uh no I have not worked on reality TV shows I was just basing it off of Um Kind of what I know about sets And then also like Oh, sex I know about sex at first Yeah I wanna know about sex Which is a lot You did It was a very vivid like you you could mention the PA Like you knew everyone And what they did kind of It was nice to fill the world Because we've certainly seen

58:14

I feel like A lot oftentimes the main characters are just writers Because the writers like I only know Or it's an author like Joanne Fluk Who who is the author of Oh my god Different horrifying cozy mystery culture Ritter, she does a lot of Oh my gosh yes and blueberry mother And yeah she's oh my gosh all the fluid ones Yeah all the dessert Yeah so she tries to write about sets And uh we'll say things like The director sat down in his big directors chair And took out his megaphone

58:48

And he called the set The top So it was really really fun and refreshing To hear things like video village Which is where um the director's camera Ops So if they're doing remote cameras And the director and people sit and watch What's happening and edit on the fly Um And other words Uh that people who have actually been on a television set No to use Yeah that Yeah that um The there's uh I do feel like I kind of a mean to costume designers in this Yes Yes I would say if you're a costume designer

59:29

Watch out you're gonna be Yeah I wanted to know what your issue was with costume designers I did one Yeah I guess it's like um TV like they just everybody has to dress so hot Do you know what I mean?

59:41

Yeah like on TV everybody has to dress so hot Uh and then That's a problem That's the end of it Well so they have like But then it's like You know I know it's not the costume designers They're like obviously being told They got a make-em-look hot They got they're being told that But then I've I realized that I've taken a lot out on the costume designers So the woman with the long black hair I renamed her Tasha Because I worked with a costume designer named Tasha

01:00:12

And I knew that she was gonna read this and be like What the fuck?

01:00:15

It has no t- No listen Tasha this is I mean you a hot I mean you a hot girl Yeah Yeah that's Tasha was a good character I feel gonna be Tasha I there was a Sarah in there And I did not like Sarah So I wasn't mad at you for that Interesting Okay Okay You were not Yeah I really liked Yeah Sorry go ahead No please Claire Tell us what you'd like to love to hear I liked um Marie slash Lulella's reception to the clothing always Was really good Oh yeah Um Like She always needed more Yeah Yeah

01:00:52

When you got that one dress And we're like How did I get blessed with so much fabric It's a full dress And it's like Oh the ass From the ass Down is completely That's so good man You got me You got me I went on the ride with Lulella I was like yeah I'm so happy yet Because I guess I'm sort of self-conscious dresser Sure Sure So I was really feeling for her in those moments And then I felt so good with the dress and then But So Yes No ass No ass I did like that she went for it Like that she was

01:01:24

I mean around there in a bikini And like didn't have whatever the perfect body And I could also see that being popular As it was kind of in the show Because like the last Jess Who was the winner of the most recent love island I mean she's very hot But she's not like the stereotypical body Like she was like a little Little thicker than the average contestant And I think people liked her more Because she was like Not just in real boobs Yeah a little bit A little bit more A little bit J.J Thank you

01:02:00

J.J. Love But in your mind Is Marie/Luella When she's Luella is she kind of hot Or is everyone playing mental games with her I wasn't sure Like I guess I want to Very clearly picture this woman in her bikini I wanna What do you see when you see her?

01:02:24

Okay great question for sure I would say that I think that she probably is someone that like Doesn't I don't think that she's bad Like I don't think that she's hideous But I don't think she's someone that draws the eye Like I think you could be like Just look past her You know what I mean That's like A credible description of someone She's not someone that draws the eye But there are people like that So mean Well I think it's like maybe the way she carries herself

01:02:57

Like she just not gonna be someone that makes That he gets people to look at her Like she's not wearing loud clothes She's not like Her posture is not like put You know what I mean I don't think she's like a confidence of There's no confidence So there's no sparkle Right with Esmeralina So I don't think she's bad looking But she's not There's no sparklers There's no one When she's Luella She has a little more confidence So maybe she is standing up a little straight Yeah Oh we got teeth Yeah

01:03:26

Big time teeth Yeah I do feel like even if Like she's walking down the streets of Staten Island And if people are seeing her and they're like That's a woman in dentures and a wig But she's like feeling herself so much Probably makes her more attractive Right Like I- Confidence is hot I did love to picture her in my mind As someone who think like Thinks that she just like got all dressed up But she put on this real wig Like these teeth that somehow change her entire appearance

01:04:00

But they're really happy She's like monstrous clouds Everyone can see she's in a wig Everyone can see she's got What are they called?

01:04:08

These slippers when you have like the fake big teeth The turkey Uh Yeah Just kind of like the dress is like half off Everyone can just It's like crazy from a mile away That was my favorite version of imagining her I- That's probably accurate I'm like where does she get her wigs Because she seems to think they're pulling it off And I have yet to see a like Really, really good Hotty wig I- I would like to I would like to add on to this wig Line of thought because

01:04:45

I think there are some missed opportunities Rewigs Because as- As a watcher of love Island I know The past contestants have had a lot of issues with their wigs And the heat and humidity And it looks insane when it starts to fray And that like The last season they were always wear- They're always wearing headbands to try to hide it And it's like a big really hard for upkeep And I was- And so much mention of the weather and the humidity Not enough mention of how Ridiculous and dumb

01:05:17

Will as wig maybe looking Oh, I don't really wish- You know, you know what you do this podcast Before people put their books at Because I think that would be really helpful Because the writing group has been very helpful But this has been- I mean, Lula could have been a redhead And that would have been huge I bet it could have been published And with all this stuff- Feedback, this is great That's all you needed No, but it was- I have a bone to pick in the- With the humidity stuff

01:05:43

Joe is a bit more personal Oh, well as wig clear up Yeah I need to ask you this Uh-huh You're- I put clear- You're a character in the- In the- In the next one Oh, that's fun To what extent? Just my name?

01:05:59

Okay Is this- It's not so complicated What do I- I need to know Alright, but don't let that stop you From coming at her with whatever this- Yeah It's a bit more personal So Lula has a lot of problems with heat and humidity Yeah But when you were in DC to do a show And I was like dying about How hot it was You were like- I would need a sweater I'm so comfortable It was the summer It was like August You know it's- I don't know Probably feels like a hundred degrees And you were- You loved it So um-

01:06:29

So you didn't want to give that trait to Lula And how do you learn- Because of this- Not- Out of biographical Alright, so you write what you know I'm not applying you to biographical Well where did you learn How humans react to humidity?

01:06:42

I can- I observed others on the news Okay That makes sense to me Okay Okay That's why I decided- I guess if I had known that From the beginning I would have been less um- Scoffing during that Yeah What- Oh Lula's hot Yeah, we're ready One issue I have with Lula is I don't think we could be friends Because of her relationship with food Which is- It's a little bit She could take or leave it Early on in the book She's like- Someone's like, what do you want for breakfast?

01:07:16

So she's like, just whatever The other women get And the person was like the other women get egg whites So she was like, oh then Not that whatever you eat The one was like, I eat egg whites So she was like, I'll have egg whites And then later Someone ordered her Thai food And then someone else came in And threw the Thai food in the trash And she didn't punch that person I mean- Well she was very- Listeners, listeners I need John and not lead you just right here It's because of the luality

01:07:44

She was like trying not to eat solid food in front of anybody At any point And then with the Thai food in the trash She had just been beaten up And- I don't care And like- I was still- John loved Thai food I was like, doping everyone I'm sure she dug it out of the trash later She mentioned thinking about it She mentioned thinking about it I do believe it Yeah, I think it- I need to see her digging it out of the trash Or else we are not friends But- But we know that she loves food Because

01:08:16

She named her cats meatloaf and meatball We couldn't see more cat Which we really made sense Because the cats were back in Staten Island And- She was staying in place on sex island But I like cats and- What do you want to- You want to have the cats have sex?

01:08:32

What- So it's sex- No, come on, Sabrina We found an oven here They're shillin and sibling Well that's what Sabrina walked up I don't know if you'll- That's- What's- Um- No, the cat part was a hilarious It was like a- I wouldn't call it a B story But it was maybe like a D story Which there was a cat's- A runner, Sarah, there we go There was a cat sitter Who clearly hates the cats And would send a- Marie pictures of the cats And then say stuff like It's in my seat Can I push it off the couch?

01:09:05

I see- I read that not as- That she clearly hated the cats I read it that she's more like us In that meanness is her love language That's how I read it And she's reaching out to Marie Mm-hmm, mm-hmm Interesting Another personal question The cat- One of the cats name is Meatloaf Is your dog's name Meatloaf but you call him "loaf" No, it's- Book is not Automatically- (laughs) I have no connection Okay, JJ Loaf All right Yeah It's just- Well I've always imagined your dog is a breadloaf

01:09:40

So I needed to know Oh yeah, no this- Yeah, that's- He's more of a bread for sure Yeah, for sure More of a bread- Is he a corgi?

01:09:47

Because if your dog's name is low-fum I can only picture a corgi He's like really long Like a corgi He's like the length of a corgi But the look of Alfie He got alphabets He's like- He's like the face beautiful from the body Long body, nice I think we should take a quick commercial break But we'll be right back I think we gotta talk about like When did you guys start to- Maybe when did you guess The killer or like When did you- What was your favorite- The Sabrina just- Turn or reveal-

01:10:16

Find out that someone was killed She's guess- The Sabrina's- Guess me But we'll be right back Are you good? Just a bit Do you know- Take a minute or- Meg's got it But- Some little black cat Made some mayhem With some glass Oh okay okay okay Wasn't it a escape though? No no But there's a lot of broken glass everywhere Oh no Was there a champagne flute?

01:11:02

Was it- No it was a bowl of glass As soon as he said cat- Sarah was like- I don't care I don't care I was gonna be concerned if the cat ran away Other than that It was hard for me to imagine What a cat could have done that Would be a catastrophe- I mean you don't have to imagine Sabrina kept talking after she said cat Even people didn't know what to say Even people didn't know what to say It's hard to imagine that anything I said could have mattered And I get mad For some glass

01:11:32

All right and we're back

01:11:37

We're talking to Joe Firestone aka J.J. Loaf About her Self-published debut murder on sex island I feel like- I loved it I thought it was so funny I wish it wasn't a PDF Because I could have highlighted What I liked and been more specific I was so able to do that Clara Yeah I took a- You can highlight- I took screenshots on my phone And then I highlighted- It's green shot like see- Yeah I was sort of- Share that information Sabrina What is tip- I am a knowledge- Common knowledge It's also-

01:12:18

It's so fun to have author on and be able to- Like usually if we have an issue Or we don't get something We can't ask the author but we can And that's super fun Um Joy wanted to know why you waited so long To introduce the police Because I can't think for a while What are the police doing? Um Are they solving this?

01:12:40

Turns out no But Um They were kind of- They were kind of dumb dumb police Yeah You always knew they would be Yeah I was kind of like thinking Maybe I'll write to see no police And then You know at a certain point You have to think Well it probably would be police Right there so you think Well let's just- Let's add them in But then we'll kind of keep them- Keep them as low-key Yeah I like acknowledging that it's a A world where 9/11 happened But we're not gonna- We don't have to get into it

01:13:11

The characters- The characters didn't have a big connection to it This is exactly it Interesting That's right Okay cool Interesting I have a question About something maybe I just didn't get or amissed Okay But when she goes to the dead man's apartment And she touches the toothbrush Yeah My question is not why did she touch the toothbrush But she touches the toothbrush and it's wet And she gets freaked out who wouldn't As a creepy moment But I don't think I understand what-

01:13:42

At the end why it was wet Did I miss something? Or was it just kind of like I miss something Okay Tell me after the cast it would give it a way to say it Okay well I will just say that um I guess um You are not incorrect in thinking that was maybe one of our holes And you feel- Oh is that a red herring?

01:14:05

I guess um It's never clearly addressed Who uses the toothbrush But I guess- Oh why I guess Or why for sure That's just a question I might have missed it I'm not able to see flaws in this beautiful world It's not in there There's quite a few of these little things where you think Where is the knife You know but I think that um there's uh I would say that I guess I'll tell there it's just I assumed That uh a certain- The killer Yeah might have been living here Just hanging over for fun For fun

01:14:49

Creepy It was a jump A nice little jump moment into a man Certainly a jump If you don't have to think about it Again it's pretty good But I- I really- I'd really creative to know that the reader could just Assume many other things happen after the book ends And during the book that we don't even see Just like you can assume all kinds of other things are happening Oh yeah look Yeah with a lot of holes you can just fill those holes in Yourself and that's you know that's really empowering

01:15:18

This is an empowering text I love it In my mind all those holes were getting fucked Yeah yeah we think about it And at the big time I'm gonna cover That was too quick Sarah So was that a hole?

01:15:34

Yeah it's like you've been sitting in that I've got a bunch of them written down in my hand Yeah I'm posting For a y'all reader For the meme book club ladies I wanna know when And or if you figure- We're not gonna- first of all we're not gonna say who the Uh killer was or is or whatever But I just wanna know when you guys figured it out Or like if you figured it out or if it was like not to reveal I did not I was stumped just like Louella Yeah I guess Louella knew which we'll talk about

01:16:09

That comes This like Louella presented herself I stumped I mean I guess I could have been anyone It's not that I never suspected Mm-hmm But I never felt a hundred percent sure Mm-hmm I never feel I still don't know what I read one of these mystery books Because I just read it like a simple little child I just like bop along You don't even try to get- Yeah that's I do that too I like that way I just kind of go along

01:16:46

Float along the river and then at some point it's revealed to me that there was a killer And I'm like oh yeah that makes sense I was making note of moments where Louella would say things like like she had this little notebook that she kept About her suspects which is like it's so funny because she basically suspected Literally everyone which she did you you have to right she was not bad thing but like good at Being and like driving and mistaking But there was which I lose Yeah it was fun

01:17:18

Contacts she has her notebook and then she's like oh my notebook was in my bedroom I don't remember putting it there But I didn't think of much of it at the time and then I like noted that I was like okay obviously She thought about that information later Because she's telling us about it now um Which like led me to think like is this person a killer is this you know I think I was I think I mean it wasn't like not towards closer the end that I and I didn't fully guess the killer

01:17:49

But I I was like partially right but I didn't have the why at all. I'll say that um There was a there was a big clue I certainly didn't have the one okay good nobody There was really fun one of the we're which I don't know Really can't really say but there was like early I mean from the early on would say fine david jesus body He's got like an incision on him and yeah, I was assumed I mean I didn't know but I assumed like a body part or something had been removed or like I don't know what yeah

01:18:21

I thought as well but it wasn't it What it actually was was far goofier um it's great. I don't know. I don't know if we should we know I guess we shouldn't know I wouldn't say it is far goofier but I I thought it was far more nefarious or like It was good but I was like the way sex island and these characters have been set up So it doesn't like it's goofy and funny for the reader but it fits as well I thought it was gonna be pretty scary but turns out that was yeah it was it does present us

01:18:56

Yeah, did you not think it was you thought it was gonna be scary when we found out what what the incision was for yeah I I thought that was gonna be really scary for people but then um Yeah, then people I did show it to some people and they're like That's really stupid but you know that's it's hard to say kind of what scares will what you know Chuckie And Chuckie on paper Chuckie on paper I've never read it on paper but I could imagine it being pretty goofy on paper

01:19:31

On paper pretty goofy. Yeah So you're saying wait till right Wait till the made wait till this is a made for tv movie and then we might be Yeah, wait till lifetime yeah lifetime is gonna do a number on it you know and then no You know Chuckie Chuckie is made for television That's so funny Okay, all right That was the belly button and uh under the belly button incision was not the only injury in the book And I wanted to point out another one which

01:20:05

It was one of my favorite moments because I too have suffered a tailbone injury at the Filitating tailbone injury Um and I just want to read

01:20:14

J.J. Love's description here in the book because it was one of my this is kind of like what you're in for if you read this book um I had landed hard on my ass and I feared one of those tailbone injuries that can never be fixed I would become one of those people who brought the inflatable seat donut with them wherever they went It did have a smell people couldn't pinpoint But they'd learn to associate it with me

01:20:37

And that absolutely made me laugh out loud. I feel like smells were very vivid in this book Yeah, um like the lipden soup balls yep, yep the lipden soup balls and it's just very funny to it. It was very like

01:20:51

Real like yep. I think the smells were clues constantly Okay, interesting because they were mentioned so much and so specifically I was like Yeah, I really read the books differently than you Sarah much more like Johnna long for the ride lazy river Yeah, I think I'm looking for my own brain off I'm so worried about their think You're trying to did you have to we use this seat donut No, I just um uh Years later had to get an MRI um And learn that two of the water is supposed to be the big

01:21:33

Spaces in your back just don't exist for me anymore. Oh wow I'm gonna say the seat donut could have fixed that And after pregnancy those that's that's probably even farther god, you know, we'll see Maybe it fixes it yeah, yeah, oh yeah, it's all moving I'm terrified of having to get the epidural because I'm like I don't think there's actually Oh my god, I'm on phone in the place where they they like to put the needle

01:21:58

Um, but you know, I'm sure they've encountered it or that. I did you yeah, yeah, it'd be good. It'll be okay Yeah, I'm sure they do Yeah, the tailbone injuries are very common They're very common. They deal with these all the time you guys they all the time Joe have you ever had um a tailbone injury? No, my back surgery I met all in my back

01:22:19

So, you know, I know in a way I do I also know my graphical huh? Oh no, no, and I just think that I think that the doctors they know they're you know, they're awake The adapters are awake uh They're there they're present even if you aren't especially when you aren't the doctors are extra awake in that situation They'll know they'll know what to do

01:22:42

I have a book question. I'm so sorry to take it away from your butts Okay, okay, there's a quote in the book That says sounded like a horse saying hi to another horse, which is a line I really like and up my question is Joe can you make the sound that you're envisioning with that line? Uh, yeah Yeah, eyes are closed Listen around home to get the picture Hi That's good

01:23:21

That's great. I like I asked that question to read I wasn't sure what that sound was I paused on that line and I have to tell you that I like did a few I was like what is that like And I was just like you tried it out. I was trying it out for a bit. I was on the subway um, and I was like, you know what? I could just ask I could just ask the question But I loved the line

01:23:49

Yeah, I guess yeah, it's kind of a gutter. I think I don't do it deep enough or an animal you know, but it's kind of there You know, kind of I've got a line I really like which was uh, I'm not because I couldn't highlight I'm not I'd do you from memory So I'm not exactly I couldn't I couldn't highlight so because what the PDF um It was when like someone tries to give Loella Jello and she's like oh, I can't because in her memory She has memory of an aunt who used to serve jello for dessert

01:24:25

Like she's never heard of cake before That's like it sent out. That was really good. Yeah, that's really good Yeah, because like you know, it's you know like a takedown of jello as dessert is coming Yeah, it's just so synced and uh I also like thought it was clever because you were it was making the joke bear Was distracting from the fact that that was like actually like kind of like a clue or You know, I mean

01:24:56

You know, yeah, I'll put in a joke really like me. You didn't let you sit on the fact that like oh, maybe this is that you're like Oh, no, challenge jokes. Ha ha I jello so crazy Jello is so crazy It's like it's so funny in the moment when someone brings jello to Luella in the book because it's just like I don't know jello is just such a weird thing. I don't know where I'm supposed to I guess hospitals have it is a sick thing It's like if you have you have jello if you can only have liquid

01:25:32

It's like the most food right when she can with her teeth. I when I was in um Like middle school or high school when everyone develops their first eating disorder habits Um, I had a um a diet that I was embarking on it was I thought of it myself It wasn't like it wasn't one that I found on the inner It wasn't a celebrity thing it wasn't a celebrity thing and it was that I would just only eat Sugar-free jello which is 10 calories a cup It's like the little inedible Um, oh delicious

01:26:09

Um, but I was like I could have 10 of these and it would be a hundred calories a day And I thought that was a good idea No, it's I it's a really I know a lot of people that are actors that love sugar-free jello Yeah, no sad to me it tastes really bad It's also jello also Sugar-free stuff though is like usually worse for you too because it's like Thanks you take this yeah, they put fake sugar or they put like uh, but like oils like other stuff That's bad for you

01:26:42

But there are only has 10 calories. Yeah, okay. All right High school is fun to go to other people's houses and like see their snacks One size at this girl's house and the only snack she had was sugar-free jello first She said she didn't have snacks then she offered me that sugar-free jello Oh, wow experience with sugar-free jello She was honest the first time I can't eat this Yeah, she was She was I shouldn't have pushed the issue China in yours In your nine months have you ever craved jello?

01:27:11

Not once And usually if food is being talked about I I'm like, oh, I could eat that right now Give it to opposite is happening with jello right now And I actually feel bad for jello like imagine a food that's just branded as like When you're sick When you're dying Uh, a man used to who famously like sexually like assaulted women used to be Yeah, you're yeah, that's who likes frozen. Yeah, what? The jello is not doing well

01:27:46

Jello, Sabrina. I'll tell you about it all later. I can't believe you haven't heard She's too young she's too young It's I'm sorry I think they might give you jello in the hospital, so you don't have to eat it I'll see. Yeah, I'm gonna slap it away Yeah

01:28:08

I feel like we know the nurses all laugh. That's kind of a funny bit I advocate your hopes up for the nurses laughing when you're doing bids staring the thing They'll just like justifying yourself deprecating stuff is what I That happens to plenty of people is like it's a joke I know I'm a question Yes, more book questions. Yeah, yeah, I do too because we have so fun to have the author here

01:28:37

And she it feels trapped. I don't know how long this episode's gonna go on. I know. I know. I know it is already a long one Uh, Joe yeah, I Want to know there is so much interesting stuff about Marie slash aloas past That I feel like you introduced and we didn't get to like play with later I wanted to know if you were saving it for later books And also I would like to request that the ex-husband appears because I could not for the life of me imagining what kind of man

01:29:12

Would have been married and then divorced To this woman I I had to imagine he must be a crazy character himself So there's a this question slash request really well. That's really good. It's really good Oh, that's good. You know, that's a good idea. It's really good idea I really do think that you all connect at a book and I'd say probably a week or two

01:29:36

We've talked about it. We've talked about it for years. You know what? Joe outlines that Sarah did The fact that you wrote a book is so impressive because like we we have for five years been like we should do it And we don't so to be real It's a you first of all you wrote a very funny book, but just fact that you fucking finished a book is extremely impressive I do think that you'd all need to take a class. Okay, because this is the thing is I don't know what kind of book you're writing

01:30:06

What kind of book were you writing? It was a Christmas bus Christmas bus It's a fast genre Okay, you call yourself a writer, you know, the Christmas bus Judges harshly are It was a Christmas it was a Christmas book Set on a book a hallmark Christmas book. Oh, okay. Oh, I understand I understand. Okay Christmas bus and it's called the Christmas bus

01:30:33

Yeah, yeah, okay got it. Okay, so it is obviously romance Yes Okay You are in front treat Okay, because there is a class just like they had a mystery class that same place has a romance class Yeah, okay, so here's what I think I think one of you should sign up Take notes for the others, okay, and I think we just on the info Yeah, I do I want to I think you should do it because I think that here is the thing that I would have never written this book

01:31:08

Okay, but the fact that I was really unemployed and had high dreams of becoming a successful Router that was really driving me, but also I think you should still dream that because Okay, but so then the thanks Claire really appreciate but I would say that um the thing that really got me writing And this is like beyond is because you have to send your writing to other people in the class Mm-hmm, and also they tell you how to do they they're like these are formulas that people have used

01:31:40

And it's like only if the mystery is hard for you as a comedian because like I feel like when I give him give it a For me, I'm like well, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna do it that way because that's what like I have trouble following formulas I think because I I definitely have trouble when someone's like here's a structure of a perfect pilot go do it These stupid idiots that then I'm always just like no, I can't but then when you're reading it with your writing something that you're like

01:32:06

It's like so intuitive. You're like, oh, then that happens has to happen. Oh, then the bus has to break down

01:32:13

Oh, then the bus has to get fixed by a hot mechanic and it's like, oh right. Well, that's obviously the mechanic has to write it Oh, she's writing the book But I think it's like it's like The the tropes are there that it's like That I do think it's like the having a class Even just like having a teacher who's like published a few books to be like This is how it's works is just enough to be like okay, and then they give you assignments

01:32:45

And then you have to submit stuff and you're like and then you're writing and it's like yeah, yeah It's not even like teaching you how to write the best selling thing and it's like not like it's like the best It's not like you have to be the best in the class or whatever, but it is just enough that you have to show people that you don't know that you're writing is it enough Humiliation to be like I did it. I did it at this best like that. Oh, I'm using an online class

01:33:09

It's online and I never saw anyone in the class. It wasn't even zoo. Wait, where is it? You don't have got them right? I don't see their face. What is it? Got them right. I never saw their faces. I never saw I never saw

01:33:20

Anything you take it at your own time. Yes, you do take it at your own time So you never see these people's faces you just send them things like there was semen everywhere and then they write back Please stop talking about come Yes, and you're like whoa this person is reading this and thinking too much come and then you're like okay

01:33:42

That's helpful because I don't you know also it's like I just think it's like there's like a courtesy there where it's not just like putting it on reddit and being like Hey, what do you all think? I'm never gonna write something and put it on reddig Just the class cost I think the class cost $350 so like you're okay So then the other romance one it says 439 so this might be more romance might be more Yeah, you gotta figure out how to write pet entree together if you pull a you all pull together

01:34:15

What's that 110 bucks? We also do have money as a podcast that we never spend You should wait you gotta do this you gotta take the class and then share your writing with the podcast I really fun and I actually think all four of us should take the class like I think it's something fun to do together I would love to think to write one but are we writing for so-for-books?

01:34:40

Oh, they're one long oh, you can crank the class say why not write one book together and do it together and Yeah, we'll be a class together like it's all e-mail about can we do a writing or we're gonna figure it out

01:34:55

This is really exciting. I feel excited. I also God I was gonna say it shouldn't take away from just being very encouraging but it's it's extremely impressive It is I will say that it is it's it's something that um I just think that I'm not someone that's like uh I wouldn't consider myself like uh uh like a I have glasses sure, but it's like I don't I don't wear them to drive a night and it's like I'm not really I would say like uh like uh I wouldn't call myself a writer capital or whatever

01:35:28

But I think that the w but I You say the comedian even on that All I needed to know

01:35:40

That'll be a sound bite in the beginning. Yeah, I just I would say that that it's more like um It just I think the the as a comedian or and as like a person that puts stuff out there you all I just think that it's something enough to be the pressure of someone being like this is I you want it to be good your brain is wired in that way and it's just having an audience It's just enough to get something out there even if it is really bad

01:36:08

Well, I'll be desperate for the people in the class to like me. Yeah Is so absolutely It'll be hard or I'll quit the class if I can't do it. I'll quit the class. Okay, Claire. Fine Fine you quit or you do it or they love you and that's You know, I don't I've never seen you quit something yet mm I don't know good hard enough Quit most things and like discomfort. I do have more book questions like about this. Yeah

01:36:38

I'm ready. I'm ready although I'm ready to change my life based on everything you've just said Because I too have this aspiration of being author Fe author being author yeah, that's my new life Um, okay questions I have Do you think okay? Do you think Luella just didn't conceive of the fact that the people on sex island could google Luella van Horn And find out who she is

01:37:12

So basically that is a really good plot hole as well. I would say that in general The idea that I try to get across but make mine that cover across is that I Well, I don't think it did because they do have phones, but I would say that it's like the Well, I feel like the question is answered in the book

01:37:36

Is it like well in that case? Yeah, for sure I'm like my question about what Luella's thought is is like in like a little like Just so blind with her confidence that she doesn't know Yeah Yeah, I think that maybe she uh, there's a really good question I would say that she probably thinks that they won't even Think to google her and they won't think to like Look at her because as she like I think she's pretty much laid low Into this val case

01:38:13

I think though and that didn't bother me till a little later when I found out people were googling things because I had the assumption that like like on love island They have phones and they can text each other, but they do not have access to internet So I I but like there are sometimes where like oh so and so got at like I've read I do also like Read read it and all the like you know

01:38:40

People coming off the show talking about what happened and it does happen that sometimes there are like leaks or whatever Uh, I think like everything could have happened that happened But maybe with maybe just some clarification that that's like yeah the situation You know what? Okay, here was okay I would say that your question is one that an editor would be like Addresses and I would say that that is it's for sure the case

01:39:07

But I will say that maybe it's like okay if I'm gonna make up an answer right now. I'll say this that she was kind of Okay, she like when she was told she had to go undercover she was kind of um You know she was told that you know kind of surprise and so it was quick It was quick so maybe she was to take enough guard to think about it and like look like the author To you know who never thought of you know, and maybe it is autobiographical in a way

01:39:35

I don't think you created like I actually don't think it is a plot hole when you read the whole book like I don't think it's a plot hole I was just curious about like her personality What she's thinking there I would say there's four major platoes and seven typos So if you found them all I didn't find any typos Yeah, if you read the book you find Yeah, it was That heart no, no, no, I didn't find any I've never Was the two first thing the plot hole that was one of them. Yeah for sure Good bye

01:40:18

I would I just assumed I missed something I thought it's something with me. I wasn't sure No, Claire it's never you I didn't think it could be you Honey, no, it's never you Well, in this case you're correct Can we talk about or wait do you more questions? It's a brief you to view. Oh, I had another question similar to the husband Are we gonna see friend Lauren again? Because I wanna know What the fuck went out?

01:40:48

That's true, but that could be something I missed Yeah, no Lauren is kind of intentionally vague Yeah, I want more for books too. Yeah, maybe book too murder a personality camp Oh, yes Like the part when they were trying to text Lauren and Lauren wasn't responding And then she chased her tactics to be like I always I'd like to threaten these guys that I'm gonna have sex with one of their relatives I always works They'll drop everything also where I text 911

01:41:37

I'm not joking. I also hurt. Oh hey John, I know you don't do that job, but that's a that's a joke from the office So maybe you would like the office Okay Matt she's like it mark um, I like just because you brought up a J the character We didn't really talk about I did like that he was like into her like in a like almost like a babysitter like Like maybe when he was 12 he thought she was hot kind of way I like that, too That's all really real um and then she he guess she was like 40

01:42:08

But it was like he was still like really into it Yeah, that's a true thing too like when you're 22 and there's someone that's like 29 around You're just like that person is you just don't know how they are any there's I all I know is they're extremely old

01:42:23

And that's never gonna happen to me yeah, they're divorced. Yeah, they live the life Um, I want to talk about chapter 42 though Okay, I think we're gonna have to okay talk up and this might be hard on you, Joe Okay, okay, you know, I'm sure you Springs to mind and immediately what chapter 42 know what chapter 42 is Joe yeah, I'm pretty certain I know what chapter 42 is a chapter the Joe gets away with because she's funny But in another if if this was just like your basic mystery

01:43:02

Is it racist what happens in chapter 42? chapter 42 is when liuela like goes back and is like oh yeah, here's how I solve it I'm like you fucking bitch Fucking bitch But it's really funny the way you do it and I'm like Did you do that on purpose that you were like I'm gonna do this thing that people will get mad about but in a funny way so that it's okay Um, so here's what happened I initially wrote this book and the ending was that Lula gets punched in the head and she passes out

01:43:47

And the crime just solves it. It's okay. Okay, okay, so funny and my friend my friend you know Ashley Brooke Roberts uh-huh She read it and she was like this is the most unsatisfying Cruelest ending that you could you can't just punch your main character and then end the book like that was as so I was like What if she's like you have to have her play an active role and the writers group did also say this Please make her more active

01:44:17

And so I was like oh more active you think she should have been solving this case Because I do think a lot of time she's just hanging out Yeah, just hanging out on sex island I love because like I also could see if I was on sex island Maybe I'd start being into it and being like getting into the drama. So yeah She really does get very distracted and uh and instead of getting punched in the head passing out There is a little bit more of an active Um approach to the solving of it and that is some

01:44:47

So that is the reason for that. All right. Well love to know

01:44:52

It's going on. Yeah, so if you like that better than her getting punched in the head passing out then I've done my job You said we're really funny, but I do bully Ashley's probably right probably it probably would have been really funny But less satisfied so I Yeah, yeah, I grew I was I was mad for like 10 seconds But I left yeah, I do a little bit I liked the way she played the active role in I like I really like where you landed with her playing the active role in

01:45:25

Like like her stalling techniques and stuff are great and her like getting a confession um It's good Okay, and um a lot of redemption I want to say more a lot of redemption It's not because I don't have more good things to say it's because I don't want to reveal any I think a lot of characters got redeemed in that in the the solving of the case which was interesting Um, I want to say like Sarah chapter sorry

01:45:53

I just had a really quick thing I wanted to say about a different chapter. Okay, chapter 43 No, I just love that there's a chapter 35 a I just like when it When I scroll to that page I got really happy just seeing the big three five a That's so good. That's great. I'm glad you liked that that was another thing where I thought well this is annoying But what can you do if you want to do it? You do it. You can, but maybe that's just because I like you personally. Yeah, it's hard to say

01:46:26

It's funny. I think it's funny. That's a funny. Yeah, I liked it So well feel free to add a 35 a two to Christmas bus Just thank you. Yeah, yeah, well, they will have to thank you in the credits I'm over there. Okay, if you're open to that, that we're open to it. Yeah Um, I wanted to see if I wanted to do an answer is the author

01:46:46

Oh my god. Oh my god. We probably should but what is the yeah And then Joe can give the so Joe usually what we do is we look in an interview Of the author and we so one person knows the answer And asks the interview question to the other people on the podcast and they pretend to be the author and try to guess what the answer is So usually we get it from an interview the author's done But now we don't need to do that because we can just listen to your actual really answer

01:47:12

But um, Claire, you're gonna Answer the author right because you do really good Joe impersonation. So I was oh, yeah, thanks I think that some people think we have a very similar voice um, but some people have said that Joseph's more high pitch Yeah, it's just it's you both have unique voices But they're very just speaking pattern and I always wondered actually How it began if you just found yourselves

01:47:38

Two people that kind of talk that way or was one of you more influential and it moved the other sure that I was living together Yeah, who was the first freak? That's what we wanted Okay, I don't think that just neither We I do think that this was a you know, Claire. I do think that you are I see you as a full grownup Thank you and I do wonder how How quickly we veered because I like I have so many strong memories of like punching each other

01:48:10

In a basement and like spending a lot of time punching each other. Yeah So I just I feel like you always wanted to fight I feel like that was you

01:48:19

Okay, but I just I wonder you know, I'm like that's really you you're the aggressor. Oh, okay In that case I guess but I do think that like there's I guess I'm like that it was um I don't know how old we were during that that time, but I do think it for it makes me feel young thinking of that time But I don't know when maybe that was where we were influencing each other speech patterns is hard to say It's hard to say I don't think that we're maybe 29 or so

01:48:48

Uh, maybe a probably a little older. Well as age Yeah One time Joe was we were both quietly working in our rooms and um Joe apparently was reading a book and she didn't like the ending And she ran into my room and gave me an Indian burn shoot because she was upset So just an example of how she's doing results And she's a good yeah, I'm glad you got out of that unsafe environment There was a lot of assault in the book Okay, term and I don't know if it is

01:49:24

But uh, what is it called? Oh, I don't know what it is rock burn with hands I think considering that it's Chris, Chris, Chris, Chris, maybe you could you got Chris cross burn sauce Really that's new. Oh my god. I just look talking that I looked up what else what you call it now What people call now and then I one of the other episodes was Chinese burns Okay, I don't think that's better God, I don't think that's better. Okay, so for shorthand

01:49:55

For shorthand can you did it? JJ Lowe I have a question for you. Okay JJ Lowe for you there. Yes, yeah, I'm there. Yeah. Oh no, you're not All right, I thought I was talking to Joe. Okay, okay, let me get in my care

01:50:14

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm here. Yeah, I'm here. Oh, no Amazing so JJ um, you know from reading these books that a lot of times Yeah, female authors fall in love with a character that they've written in the book to the extent that they end up Leaving their partner because the partner doesn't need Uh, the standards that they set in their own fictional store Oh, right you um, fuck Mary kill Three characters in this book

01:50:44

Oh, let's see. Well, I've never really killed any one so be hard to talk about that But let's see all right, so let's let's start with uh, okay, let's start with The fuck let's just start with that. Okay, it's a big revealing, but um, let's just start with that and it's gonna be You know what?

01:51:08

It's gonna be filled because He he did have that moment in the book where he was respecting um Lohala, so I think that he would respect me when I If I needed it and so that's and so that's something that I think would yeah, so it's gonna be filled Um, let's see then we have to kill someone Let's just say I'll kill David G's already dead, so I don't have to feel bad about that um, okay, so that And that's what we're gonna kill

01:51:43

Let's see. Oh, yeah, just see Okay, uh, I'm gonna do now the Mary is left Yeah You know I'm who I might marry is John who ended up being a pretty good guy not so bad And I had my Suspissions, but that is also a lifetime commitment, so let me slow down before I think about it Okay Um Yeah, I guess you know what I said Johnson I have to go with John is same stand by mom well I'm gonna play word Okay, wow for everyone listening that was Clara Lane J.J. Love That was not J.J.

01:52:26

Ourself it was a hard it's hard to think of the answer and also remember to be jail Yeah, I think I slipped out of it every now and then Mo will know the word Is that I said it? Joe think that I said it So now we have the actual interview with the author and we can play that audio right now um, so Uh J J fuck Mary kill characters in your own book who are you?

01:52:54

I R L kind of in love with Yo for real I'm a woman who I'm a word and I guess it does sound like you Uh, okay, uh, yeah, I guess um You don't know that much, but I needed time to think as well It was a good impression and everyone knows you know, okay also to be fair Every Joe when you introduce yourself as their author in the podcast version of the book you're always you like the stumble over your name You know you're like that's and that's me that's me

01:53:35

So I wasn't giving that a lot when I was doing the impression. Oh It would away All right, go ahead answer sorry sorry sorry I guess I would fuck Phil and I guess I would um I think I would marry maybe um AJ and then I would I would kill David G as well Hi, same reason same reason for killing David G

01:54:03

Yeah, it's already dead. I don't have to feel bad Okay, wow Amazing Erie Having her answer it really made my impressions seem better, didn't it Yeah, I'm just in content, but Claire you did a better Joe than Joe did Really done if you ever need that for some sort of doubling Um, yeah, let's demoing let's take a quick break and when we come back we'll do five star reviews and our hate rates and um Little fucker of the cast perfect all right be our bid

01:54:38

And we're back um usually at this point we do good reads five star reviews and although the book is on good reads and does have 4.8 right now as a recording nobody's people are just pressing the stars. They're not writing anything So gonna have to take a look uh, but as as we said Joe's been releasing us as a podcast as well and that has Reviews so we're gonna go on a five star reviews from Apple podcasts Um one says Gorgeous very little penetration so far, but it sure has me laughing five stars

01:55:32

I'm not a vote for penetration interesting. I have any penetration Hey, I think your writers group Uh, shared you in the wrong direction More more come more come or at least more hidden come all right Here's one from Chloe the pirate inside the body inside the body She says wow is this about me my name is Chloe and I have two cats my cat was named meatloaf

01:55:55

Referred to his meatball most times. I'm confused, but also flowered flattered. What a story five stars More Chloe in the book that I have there's not a Chloe in the book, but there is maybe What who's Chloe? Chloe is David G's ex oh yeah It's not like she doesn't have cats It's not whoever wrote that review viewers implying the clothes look one with the cat. Oh maybe whoever wrote that review It is about Maybe she's the inspiration for Chloe. I was gonna call her dumb, but

01:56:26

Maybe she's actually very smart. I'm a editor because she made me do the thing where I said there's nobody Chloe All right, so the sucks here's a review from august. He says Uh, it's Joe firestone and she is reading her own book For free. No, you don't seem to be hearing me Literally, it is Joe and she is reading her own book to us No charge most people would charge something, but not Joe This star For the people has given us a free gift. Do you hear me?

01:57:04

Still literally know well just listen to the book then because it's Joe and it's free five stars Lot of people saying an author would try to make money on something I do think the podcast might hurt your sales. Yeah, yeah, for sure I do think that there was you know

01:57:21

I think there's a few missteps pretty big missteps. It's fun. It's I love it some people for for books some people for for like Or you could or you could pay for an audio book Sure actually that's actually that's more common Well, here's what I think I think that even if um it like Right now it's like okay everybody's loving the podcast so they don't want to stop because they couldn't possibly read it better themselves I think that this is really feeling the sells

01:57:51

Sales for book number two, so I think ultimately very good. I think it's still I think it's still fueling that for book number one It's getting people talking about it who might not probably be getting it otherwise And so then what you do is maybe like a month after the book release you take the podcast down Then you say and make an audio book. Yeah, Sarah And then so people are like I've been hearing about it

01:58:15

Your book is so smart and the red headed thing. Okay, I will say that I do think there's a few missteps if you do self-published Christmas bus You just have to make sure to google it before him because I didn't google it until after I'd press submit and It did a lot of things it did turn up the Jeffrey Epstein and that's Title I like I like that. I like the nod to Epstein I didn't say that before I really like it I really wanted to assist myself from him Uh, because you know he said

01:58:51

But what's he murdered? Did he ever say x island? Okay, sure sure a lot of people calling you a treasure to culture Yep, now that's that's big. Well, that's a big one person. Yeah, yeah Yeah, I feel She found a way to make it not complimentary She's the opposite of Sabrina in some ways are we feeling this the Joe Yeah, the way they handle things and say something kind of mean to Sabrina she makes a compliment Really Sabrina that's such a good talent. What do you do?

01:59:30

I just know that everybody must love me Sabrina such a good thing. How could they say anything mean? Like it can be a little irritating

01:59:41

What do you say to that Sabrina? She just enjoyed it. I really Clara aspires to be me And that's how easy it is Institution just cut to the quick like I guess I think it's time for our hate rates Um now Joe the how these work and I'd also love for you to do your own These are these are out of five of five being the best and the we do these in the world of mean book club books so these are These we're not comparing it to Shakespeare whatever you think is the greatest literature

02:00:19

We all agree is she books here That's I read I know I know I know I read I read I know It's me other we're comparing this other mean book club books. Okay, so a book and I so Yeah, all right who wants to start? I can start Um, I don't know like a thousand out of five. I loved it so much. I'm not just saying that because you're here

02:00:50

I like moments into listening to it. I Sent the podcast to everyone who I know who does read like Sarah um, and I told them I have to listen to it and everybody is like when is the next episode coming out and I'm like I have absolutely no connection to when the next episode's coming out, but I think they're weekly um So I really loved it and also I wanted to take this time to just highlight a couple of the other things I wrote down that I liked that I didn't get to say um one

02:01:22

I really loved the line david and couldn't hold a candle to david j so funny Another line I really liked was that hug felt like it would have been illegal in 1903 I'm that one another one almost look cozy if you removed a hundred percent of the context was really good Uh, and then I had a couple others I can't say because I feel like they're too revealing so Anyway, I really, okay

02:01:50

Thank you. Thank you Wow, I think this off strong I'm going next um I'm gonna give it a five out of five because I respect the rating system Something insane, but I did uh, I mean I don't think I've given a book five out of five I'm not a given gossip girl five out of five that is fun But why gossip girl? Oh, it was fun But I um just so Impressed and proud to be your friend

02:02:20

And I enjoyed reading it. I read it before bed, you know to have a nice time to relax. I like it I like it is funny Wow, and a book to be funny is hard, you know I don't have a good you know, it's not like too many pictures Funny books. We don't really laugh on L.O. L at a book. Why don't like and there's as much. Yeah, there's multiple in this Which is very impressive Um and even though I did point out the toothbrush thing. I don't think there are any flaws Okay

02:02:56

Thanks. Yeah, I'm gonna uh uh jump on the five of five bandwagon um because of the LOL moments um like Claire said I Literally was walking down the street and I would chuckle at a line and then I'd make a little note to myself and my Uh, when I say make a note to myself, I text myself um Which is a weird way to make notes and a phone But that's what we had to do because of it was a PDF No, there's a notes app not what I use the notes app. I use the notes app

02:03:27

I don't know if I do the notes app in the screenshot. This is my time Oh We did the notes app. Okay, I don't like my phone to be busy I like it just have four or five things on it calendar text messaging Phone calls like a sec hot about it. Okay Uh, and I have to text or so

02:03:48

This might seem more busy. It might seem more busy because of text or yourself All right, it's time to text that I received this I may eat this candy so that I don't talk during your time Um, do you know the only thing I would say there's jealousy that you've put the book out does that knock it down for me maybe slightly Um But I yeah, it's so rare to have a character who's funny and also sort of uh

02:04:15

puts people down in a way that like I would also enjoy putting people down like there was a moment in the book where she watches someone um On set pick up a turkey sandwich and take just the turkey out of it and then she puts the bread back on the tray And then Lella says she immediately became my number one suspect Um, and I love those little observations about people um Yeah, I think Doing too much by giving me the podcast really spoiled me But

02:04:47

Funny is funny and funny wins everything. So that's why we got to we got to stick with the rating Okay Why I guess is my turn For his mine um All right, so yeah, uh, we've read a lot of books That are Really hard to get through um painful even um This definitely gets some points because it I read it so fast because it was fun um Both in audiobook and written form Uh So love that love the short short chapters, you know a big fan of that very funny fun characters um

02:05:29

Look and and I know I stated this before but for me you're gonna you lose point because Phil and Luella I wanted more film Luella and I wanted them I wanted penetration and So for that I have to take half a point off um as is my right so I'm gonna end up with 4.5 out of 5 for my rating I think for the lack of penetration that there was it's a really generous review from Sarah like we don't See something like that

02:06:01

Yeah, thank you Sarah. That's really generous. Thank you You know Can I alter mine Because I like the book and stuff but it's really actually Been a difficult podcast for me um because uh, I feel like I haven't been very funny I haven't been very talkative. It's like I don't know how to be funny and be like I liked it So talk to Sabrina Yeah, I do it all the time Clara Well, I'm just saying for me

02:06:33

This is a difficult experience. It was weird. I felt weird being like I liked this Joe and stuff like that So I do want to knock it down to a 4 out of 5. Oh, not not you to point off basically because your friends with the author interesting That's not what I said I'm ready to give my hate rate Well, Joe has it. That's what you're with your hate rate. Oh, I think you may hate of you Yeah, the hate of you. Can you want to do a little bucket?

02:07:14

Joe, would you like to do your hate rate of your own of your own book?

02:07:18

Yeah, I'm saying it's your own child Essentially, yeah, I'll give it a three because I'm glad I finished it But I do think that there's some pretty major issues with it and I will say that it's nice that you all read it and I understand that this is a is the negativity fuel the podcast that I appreciate you sacrificing the tone and theme of the podcast in order to promote myself published book It's really generous of all of you and I want you to

02:07:49

Keep that in mind, you know next time someone calls you not generous you just remember this I want to say though, I think you just really have no No idea of the sort of Shit that makes the New York Times bestseller list

02:08:03

Shiny and beautiful your book is in comparison. Yeah, it's like Unfortunately, it's it's so easy to be nice about this book and this is again why again I'm gonna bring up more penetration because had there been I feel like that was the that's a sauce Yeah, that's gonna really help

02:08:24

Skyrocket this on the best color list. Oh, just keep thinking about our listeners being like What the fuck is Claire's problem I know is this They don't listen to think that much about yeah saying no, I think they're gonna be Our listeners are like Yeah, I think that they're gonna feel pretty betrayed But like let's go to know how uncomfortable I am okay, okay, let's go to a little we gotta go a little Fucker of the cast. Yeah, I'm ready Joe. Ready. Are you familiar with the segment?

02:08:57

I don't know how to explain it ever we vote someone And it's a way to air grievances for real. Yeah And nice so Joe you've been attacked a lot this episode so feel free to attack back Come see strike out, but I said you're ready. I'm very ready. Uh, yeah, so I am actually currently Publishing a book this week, uh, and I've been working on it probably like Five hours a day every day. It's hot. It's hard. It do in that little formatting for

02:09:29

For to make it a paperback. It's it's really hard. Joe knows. Joe knows how hard it all is and and yet There was a little stray shot in the outline This had none of us have written a book and then it even said in parentheses jonna Years doesn't count It's Specifically calling me out and so I don't know who wrote it. I think Clara wrote it, but then

02:09:55

It felt like Sarah kind of read that little passage. So I'm not sure who to shoot. I wrote it. I wrote it Sarah Sarah look, I say I say I'm buy it um I say I'm buy it because we've been trying to write a group as a collective for a long time I mean yet you go off and do it with other people like honestly

02:10:19

Go poop on yourself. That's how I feel about it. Okay knowing that it's born a little bit of a like a friend jealousy actually makes me feel really good and like high up now So it's still gonna be Sarah because I did say Sarah um yeah you can't take I can't take it back, but now I actually feel like I made my friend jealous and she wants to be better friends with me and that makes me so make I'm angry Yeah, I mean I have my about

02:10:49

I know you guys were garrering up, but I've had mine okay, go ahead. Good. Good. I've had mine since moments into the podcast

02:10:58

I had it during how do you read this? Oh yeah, I was trying so hard to Say how I read it one I was like really excited to disclose That I had listened to it on one time speed, but there was also another reason um, but I was I was trampled over I didn't get to talk in time and then one of you When you said how you read you took a conversation that we had had two days ago and repeated my exact words To Joe which was Listening in your voice is so funny and then you have to read it in your own voice

02:11:42

Which is so much less funny so it's jonna because I even gave her the opportunity to admit that she had stolen my words

02:11:51

We don't talk. It's why we don't pre-talk But it's jonna wow It's jonna I didn't think you were headed towards me until you said a conversation a few days ago and I said uh-oh Sabrina and I just went to the movies together Maybe she doesn't even know that was it was a conversation in and maybe it The game a true Yeah, it's just something that maybe Sabrina put it in my head But then it felt like it was something I had discovered myself it felt just true and I just couldn't wait to share

02:12:23

That little wittest some And it makes me think how much of impractical jokers is just things I've said Yeah, so it's jonna I vote jonna I understand Yeah, mine's absolutely jonna and it's um it's for this little ending bit It's for this little ending bit Or it was like one I'm gonna plug my book too I'm gonna feel good about making the other guys feel bad I'm gonna make it feel good about making the other guys feel bad and Sarah has a good point you wrote a book with other people I wrote y'all

02:13:02

What's the book called thanks for asking Joe The best Yeah, to see what fall punishment Playbook and it is a list of oh almost Over 500 punishments that you can incorporate in your fantasy football league or any lost bet It's a lot of jonna posted this Advertising this book on our Mean book club instagram main so I also want to vote jonna um She knows what you think

02:13:37

I knew you'd be mad about that. That's why I didn't run it by you Who did you write it with I wrote it with um the other impractical jokers writers We've all been out of work since January so very similar situation Joe Uh, it just felt uh, but it's it's Uh, harder than you think to do all the little little steps of a book Yeah, I believe you want to die

02:14:04

Yeah, that's not really what this podcast is about. No, it's not Well, I you know, I do think that christmas bus sounds very different from this And i think we can still do it Yeah, so I just have a lot of faith in what you know Just you know that amazon author, you know when you get an amazon author page you just you know your name is linked, you know when you when you go to you know roll out You know as quick on this yeah Yeah

02:14:34

And am said not the page is really making my impressions on them in it Yeah, I'm trying to understand I don't even know who's talking Where those words do we fade into roll It's we all talking for so long. We've all gotten insane

02:14:52

Joe, we need you, Joe, we need you to do a little fucker. We need you to um I mean, I do feel like I feel like myself is a little fucker and I just think that I can't it's now Oh, no, no, no, no, well I guess you know, it was going pretty good in terms of rating and then um, and then Sarah you did put it for point five Which now put a trickle down effect of everyone lowering your stuff And Sabrina really did you did were the only one that kept that at what it was at a thousand it was a thousand

02:15:25

Yeah, yeah, so thanks for that and I guess Sarah maybe you're the little fucker because they did Create a domino effect of lowering the average of that's fair that's fair but Three versus two johnny you are officially little fucker Of the one who is victimized the whole podcast Isn't interesting spin little It does seem to be of you know little It's victim I say Joe was the victim

02:15:59

Yeah, yeah, I say I was a victim. Oh, oh Word play And that's what you get when your capital are right There's so and there's so much more in the book Joe, do you have anything else you want to plug? No Do you want to tell us when the book comes out? It's the like oh yeah, yeah, okay October 17th you could pre-order it

02:16:24

You could pre-order it anytime. Oh, yeah It comes out officially the 17 Yeah, yeah, but it's not gonna be a storesery thing you gotta still you can basically pre-order it still Should we be like writing to the library and being and like demanding it like is there anything we can do to help you out It should be in libraries because it you know children I just want to you know, I think it should be where they put they put anything in libraries Yeah, it can be x-rated

02:16:52

A lot of stuff children is bad for children in libraries Yeah, what I found all of it you should check out the library Sometimes you Look him out okay Shades is in library. Do I actually think you can buy a copy and donate it to the library yourself? Oh Yeah, I would say consider it It talk to the library like I'm an author. I want to donate my book to you and plus that's one more book towards your 400 Yeah, even if I buy it I don't think I'm gonna come out the accounts even I do think Sarah

02:17:28

Okay, it works. Yeah plus one minus one plus sixteen dollars You did it it it it it it it it it yeah 400 It's a song it's a math song Um all right guys Skitting late isn't getting late we're we're all tired The thread a long time ago But again if you've made it this far Go buy this book. I mean listen to it sure but buy it too, you know and solidarity We we support I bought one so we so I want to have it

02:18:03

Yeah, it needs a world like it. Yeah Please do um and uh, we'll see you next episode This is this is a bonus app that we're sliding in mid season so I don't know right now what the next episode is but uh What's you know you'll know you'll figure it out with your own brains Also, wasn't this bonus episode fun sign up for the patreon you can give them There are yes more bonus episodes if you check out the patreon good Call Clara please become a patron of the mean arts

02:18:40

um and follow us mean book club on all the socials and email us any suggestions for books that you think we should cover And don't forget include the link that proves that it's a New York Times bestseller We're all turn to fly your Of the books

02:18:58

Or just be named Ashley. We don't want to google yeah Joey keep doing we get lots of recommendations to be honest and we did Three books by the same person accidentally She does a good job very compelling as a record She's a really good summer and proves that it's a New York Times bestseller So you can all take a page out of Ashley's book And Joe thanks for being here Say you thank you for listening So fun to hang out with you Ah everyone Goodbye [Music] [BLANK_AUDIO]

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