We all have them in our lives: difficult people. Admit it...when you heard "difficult people" you automatically thought of a couple by name, didn't you! So what is a difficult person? This person is difficult by nature and/or disagrees with you and may even actively work against you. For a difficult person, use these techniques: Find a common belief and establish a common ground. Use appropriate humor to break the ice. Don't start the presentation with an attack on their position. You are only t...
Oct 18, 2016•33 min
On this episode, Kurt and Steve read some listener mail from an business owner who finds himself dealing with a lot of calls from prospects just wanting quotes. They discuss how the power of "no" can draw prospects into a conversation where actual value can be established. This then unfolds to a discussion about the power of questions. Of all the tools in your persuasion toolbox, questioning is probably the one most often used by Power Persuaders. Questions are used in the persuasion process to ...
Oct 11, 2016•31 min
On this episode, Kurt and Steve interview Rob Kendall, of www.conversationexpert.com. Rob has devoted his life to understanding how humans converse with one another and what makes them go wrong...and right. Rob its the author of BlameStorming and WorkStorming. If you know that you need to have a challenging conversation, it's worth preparing thoroughly for it. The preparation time may be disproportionate to the length of the conversation itself, but if the conversation's important enough, your p...
Oct 04, 2016•28 min
The food industry is more successful than it's ever been. Food is cheap, accessible. And many of us are eating A LOT of it. On this episode, Brian Wansink of the of the Food and Brand Lab of Cornell University joins Kurt and Steve. Brian is a leading expert in changing eating behavior – both on an individual level and on a mass scale – using principles of behavioral science. His research focuses on how ads, packaging, and personality traits influence the usage frequency and usage volume of healt...
Sep 28, 2016•22 min
Worry When your prospect is worried or preoccupied with something occurring now or could happen in the future. The wrong type of worry can hinder persuasion. Worry is feeling anxious, uneasy, or concerned about something that may happen, or has already happened. Worry creates anxiety which creates tension—a fear that occupies our thoughts, which if encouraged will grow and continue to dominate our thoughts. I have heard worry referred to as "negative goal setting." You can combat worry in your p...
Sep 21, 2016•30 min
Did you know that money can buy happiness? A recent study published in "Psychology Today" shows just that. Kurt and Steve discuss the ins and outs of this study and how money certainly can buy happiness…up to a point. Continuing off of recent episodes, Kurt and Steve cover how we can overcome objections before they ever occur in the first place. This concept is called "inoculation." The term comes from the medical field, where patients are given a weak form of a virus so that their body can deve...
Sep 21, 2016•32 min
Labels Let's explore the space between offer and acceptance – the space between "yes" and "no" is labels. "It seems like…" "It sounds like…" "It looks like…" (Followed by an effective pause.) It's critical to not "step" on your label by following it with a question or some sort of an explanation. You've got to let them sink in. "It seems like there's some flexibility in this package?" "It sounds like there's more here?" "It seems like you have some ranges in mind?" "It looks like you've used cer...
Sep 13, 2016•33 min
It is human nature to mirror and match, or to "synchronize" with, the people we connect with.28 We don't even think about it. It happens so quickly and so subconsciously that without a replay, one is unlikely to even notice it.29 What if you were aware of it? Could it be used to help you be even more persuasive? Research says definitely yes. When you mirror your audience, you build rapport with them. Mirroring operates at a subconscious level and demonstrates that the parties are starting to syn...
Sep 09, 2016•30 min
If all my talents and powers were to be taken from me by some inscrutable Providence, and I had my choice of keeping but one, I would unhesitatingly ask to be allowed to keep the power of speaking, for through it I would quickly recover all the rest. —Daniel Webster Have you happened to notice the dramatic changes that have evolved in presentations, communication, and training over the last twenty years? The basic focus used to be on education. Now, the latest research is all about how to grab y...
Aug 31, 2016•24 min
Capturing Attention Immediately What can you do in the first thirty seconds of your encounter to capture your audience's attention? Can you prove to them that you are worth listening to? Think about this: Every time you communicate with someone, they are paying with either time or money. Your audience is rooting for you; they want you to succeed. They don't want their time or money wasted any more than you want to waste it. Then why is it getting wasted? Sometimes when you're approaching somethi...
Aug 23, 2016•21 min
After discussing a few recent business trips, and of course, the food they ate on those trips, Kurt and Steve discuss a classic blunder: overuse of fear. Fear is a useful tactic when persuading others. It is very short term, however. Kurt and Steve review some techniques to use fear effectively. Steve then interviews Kim Ades of Frame of Mind Coaching. Kim's company is designed specifically to meet the needs of ambitious, highly driven, and successful individuals who want to transform their live...
Aug 16, 2016•36 min
You can use conversational skills as a tool with which to build new connections, while avoiding awkward pauses and uncomfortable conversations. After all, making a good first impression is all about making others feel good when spending time with each of you. Great conversationalists are made, not born. The following tips will help you make a positive impression every time: Don't rush through conversations. Take your time, and be sure to remember names and use them frequently during conversation...
Aug 12, 2016•27 min
Have you ever felt like you put in a bunch of work only to pave the way for your competitor? Many persuaders inadvertently do this only to find out too late that they lost the deal. The key to avoiding this is generating genuine scarcity. To create genuine scarcity, make sure you have as much of the following in place: 1. Deadlines. Give your prospects a deadline or a point of no return. We all operate on deadlines in our personal lives and in our businesses. Deadlines are what cause us to take ...
Aug 03, 2016•27 min
What is your message? What do you have to share that will make a difference in people's lives? What is your main objective, the key thing you hope to accomplish? You've got to understand the big picture. Then, with the big picture in mind, you have to get more specific. Do you have a clear vision of how your product, service, or idea will help your audience? You've got to know your product inside and out, its pros and cons and how it stacks up against the competition. Use the following list, dis...
Jul 29, 2016•27 min
When Steve asked Kurt how he was doing before the show started, he did not expect that Kurt would tell him that he just got done dealing with a bear in his backyard. Well, he didn't deal with it...animal control did. But we're proud that Kurt didn't scream like a little girl when it happened! Here's a picture: Kurt and Steve also give some sound advice that was once also given by the leading salesman of a Northeastern mid-size paper supply company. The advice is timeless and will echo through th...
Jul 19, 2016•29 min
Let's talk a bit about deception. I don't need to say it here, but I will. Deception is wrong and does trigger incongruence. On the flip the side the challenge you could have is that when you get nervous or uneasy you might be showing signs or deception. What I am saying here is that even if you are telling the truth and think you are congruent, you might be sending signals of incongruency and deception. The audience can't always identify exactly what is making them distrustful, but they feel th...
Jul 14, 2016•26 min
It's the 4th of July, so Kurt and Steve did what they do best: took their boats out and bbq'd! Back by popular demand, however, is the episode they did on Charismatic Power. Check it out!
Jul 06, 2016•33 min
"He kept his promises." Promises made during the persuasion process are fulfilled. Persuaders are honest and realistic in what they promise—they don't build false hopes or expectations. They "underpromise and overdeliver"—not the other way around! "She's really dependable." Successful persuaders proactively give their audience the attention they deserve, doing everything in their power to resolve any problem or concern. They are reliable; nothing stops them from getting the job done or from gett...
Jun 29, 2016•22 min
You know we love talking about "Negotiaton's Dirty Deeds." A recent article by the Harvard Business Review gave some great pointers on deflecting some of the more common negotiation tactics. One of the best ways to insure a smooth transaction is through managing your clients expectations correctly. Persuaders are most effective when they're persuading, not when they're stuck resolving client questions and concerns that could have been avoided in the first place. On this episode, Kurt and Steve d...
Jun 21, 2016•29 min
Francis Bacon once said, "Knowledge itself is power." Knowledge power is based on proficiency in a certain subject, procedure, or situation. Remember that you are the expert. People can be persuaded if they think you have more knowledge or expertise than they do. For example, lawyers, mechanics, and doctors possess knowledge power. People rely on these professionals' opinions, believe what they say, and trust implicitly what they do because of the extent of schooling or experience they have. We ...
Jun 16, 2016•28 min
On this episode, Kurt and Steve interview Wes Schaeffer, the Sales Whisperer! There are ways to start implementing empathy in your daily contacts and conversations. It does take some practice and evaluation. After every encounter ask yourself what do you do well and what can you do better next time. Try these steps to increase your empathy. • Mentally prepare yourself to hear the message • Listen with your ears, heart and mind • Read their body language • Evaluate the true message sent • Acknowl...
Jun 08, 2016•25 min
Happy Memorial Day!, If you're not in the US, we hope you had a great Monday, May 30! If you have a tough negotiation coming up where your opponent will play the empathy card, we have good news. Acetaminophen can dull your sense of empathy! So next time you need to negotiate, pop some tylenol and turn yourself into a cold blooded shark of a negotiator. How Moods Can Affect Persuasion Moods affect our thinking, our judgment, and our willingness to say yes. When the person you are trying to persua...
May 31, 2016•24 min
Did you know that if you think about what you ate earlier in the day, you're proven to snack less? Kurt and Steve discuss a recent article by Psychology Today that studies this phenomenon. Size of packaging, color, position...all of these things subconsciously influence what your prospect buys...and how much they buy. On this episode, Kurt and Steve discuss some recent books and studies that delve into how much we eat...and why you should care as a persuader. Atmosphere can also include the tens...
May 26, 2016•28 min
Kurt and Steve begin this episode by discussing how in anything we do, we default down to the level of our training. Whether it's a sport, self defense, language, or persuasion...the mind and body default to what their trained to do when they are stressed. Bottom line is when you need to persuade it's too late to learn! Go to www.university ofpersuasion.com for some awesome ways you can train to be a better persuader! This isn't a surprise to you, but walking through the first class cabin when b...
May 19, 2016•25 min
An interesting study was conducted with dentists, whereby an ad was put in the newspaper asking for people to participate in a painful dental procedure.11 The first amazing thing about it was that people actually showed up. During the first part of the study, the dentists were told that they would only pretend to use a painkiller on their patients. A placebo would actually be given. The dentists were instructed to do everything just as they would normally do during the procedure. Most of the pat...
May 10, 2016•31 min
How do you overcome this lack of credibility? Here are several ideas great persuaders use to boost their credibility: 1. In this very skeptical world your prospect is looking for a weakness. If you don't give them some type of weakness (personal or product), they will assign a weakness for you. Great persuaders increase credibility by revealing an apparent weakness and turning that perceived weakness into a desired benefit. 2. Credibility is enhanced by every minute of preparation. Great persuad...
May 04, 2016•24 min
One of the key ways to keep your competency on track is to be a lifetime learner. We consider others to be competent when we see them continually learning and advancing their training and education. I can remember going to buy computer products and discovering that I knew more about the product than the sales reps did (and I didn't know much). In an attempt to cover up their lack of knowledge, these ill-informed salespeople tried to bluff their way through my questions. If they had kept themselv...
Apr 29, 2016•26 min
After briefly mentioning it on last week's episode, Kurt and Steve quickly learned that most have a lot of "feelings about" the urban phenomena, RBF (otherwise known as Resting Bitch Face). So they dived in a little more and wouldn't you know it...there's an actual website that will tell you if you have it! All we ask is that if you do, you send us your picture to maximizeyourinfluence@gmail.com . We want to see what RBF looks like! Ingratiation: Make Others Feel Important Ingratiation is gainin...
Apr 19, 2016•27 min
The worst thing for a persuader is that your audience members probably won’t ever confront you about your dishonesty or deception. They are not going to tell you that they think you are lying. They’ll just never work with you again and they’ll then tell all their family and friends about the bad experience they had with you behind your back. Even if you’re an honest person of admirable character, it is human nature for people to cast sweeping judgments and formulate opinions without all the fact...
Apr 12, 2016•24 min
self-perception bias Ever wonder why others can’t smell their own stink? (perfume or body order) We are good at judging others and finding out what is wrong with them, but that analysis does not seem to work on ourselves. The same is true for our skills. We have to have the ability to honestly access ourselves – both our strengths and weaknesses. Then find the skills and the discipline to improve our faults. We always will feel we must gloss over our weaknesses to make things seem better than th...
Apr 06, 2016•25 min
