Episode 239 - Trust Authenticity and Congruence

Great persuaders are congrooent, but what is congrooence? When things match, we don't notice, but if something seems off, it grabs our attention either consciously or subconsciously. Just like the misspellings in the first sentence of this paragraph. You noticed it and your mind told you something was wrong with that word. Congruence is when your words match your actions. Agreement and harmony between what you say and what you do are paramount to instilling trust in those you work with. The more consistent and congruent you are in every aspect of your life, the more honest and genuine you're perceived to be. If you believe in your message, you'll practice what you preach. If you practice what you preach, you'll be more authentic, and the door of trust will then swing wide open for you. When you possess congruency, there's no need to manipulate or camouflage your behavior.

Article: Is Oxytocin the Trust Molecule

Are you congruent with your history, your last interaction, and your reputation? Does your nonverbal behavior match your actions? Are your emotions congruent with your message? What are your audience's expectations of you and your message? When your past history and your message don't match, flags of incongruity will wave in your audience's face. Suspicion will be roused and your audience will start to look for things that are wrong with you or your message. This inconsistency will decrease your ability to gain influence and trust. That's because humans are natural lie detectors. When we attempt to fake congruence, we must also spend our time and energy trying to fake our message.