¶ Intro / Opening
All right, we're here with DJ Dickerson Alejandrino. He is a speaker, entrepreneur, and advocate for living a Pleasure Led Life. Welcome DJ. Thanks for having me, Mike. So DJ, what matters to you right now and what's the story behind it?
So what matters to me right now is getting people to switch from achievement focused to fulfillment driven. And it matters to me because about 2012, I flunked out of college and I had purchased a commencement ticket 'cause there was no way I was about to tell my mom I had flunked out. And as sitting on stage, the Summa Cum Laude speaker starts speaking.
I realized at that moment you could take your thoughts, turn 'em into words, and if done correctly, you can not only affect the person in front of you, but make a serious impact to humanity. But just like everybody else, when the universe gives you those signals, I had those dots, right? What have I done to be worthy of people's time and attention? So at that point, I figured I'd do something epic. Go from academically disqualified to med student.
I came up with some story about why it was important to me because I had surgery when I was young and I could give some kid a chance at a full childhood. And for 10 years I went and I grounded the pavement. I did everything I needed to do to make sure I made that happen.
¶ Realizations in Medical School
I finally get into medical school and the first day we're there. You know, raise your hand if you believe in vaccines. And I'm not saying whether they work or they don't work. But it caught me off guard that you have this group of individuals ready to change the world and the first day is about conformity and falling in line and you get to see the other side of the bed. And at one point this position that held such high esteem to me, I realized is a job like any other.
And so when I left that I decided to pursue PhD, and they told me that I wasn't gonna change the world. I'm like, we're gonna be agents of social change. Like, why am I not in this to change the world?
¶ Switching to a Fulfillment-Driven Life
And I've been traveling and going to different countries and seen a few different things. I've noticed one thing. Always, people always put on a pedestal what it is that you do. And they forget that who you are is far more important than what you do, because who you are will determine which way you will serve. There are poor people in positions of power. There are absolutely beautiful positions in janitorial spots or any of the things.
And so when people start to switch and live a life from what feels good, then they stop trying to put on these optics of making a life look good instead of actually living one that feels good. And so that's what matters to me.
So let's go back to when what you said about you're not gonna change the world. You learned that in medical or when you were getting your PhD, how did, that even come up?
So every time we went to a dissertation piece, they kept telling us, just get it done. Okay. You just gotta get it done. And it's over from there. And the model to the school is agents of social change. And they kept saying it's just gonna be policy and procedure. It doesn't matter. What they didn't know is because I was in the medical field, like I've seen people die from negligence due to policy and procedures. So to me, that does change the world.
And it was at that moment that I realized, you know what, that's not for me anymore. I'd rather focus on who I am than the status I've achieved.
So the thought process is you were in a role at a company, it wasn't, a company figuratively, a university, and you thought differently than them. And so how would you instruct someone who's in that same situation, to think out of the box is, are you saying they should quit their job and go travel? Are you saying it's just a different mindset? I mean,
if opportunity quit your job and travel. I Highly recommend it. Because everybody does it this weird way where they work to relax. Kinda like that story about, you see the man who's fishing and you tell him, go get a career, go get a job so you can retire. So what do you do when you retire? You can go fishing. Like when you get older and you ready to retire, like you don't get to enjoy life the same way you would've as you were young. You don't get to do some of the wild adventures.
I'm also saying, don't be completely irresponsible. But if you're gonna stay at home, instead of focusing on what you'll one day be, change it to who you are and identify with your values. Because as long as you're not compromising your values or turning a blind eye, then you can look at whatever endeavor you're doing and be proud of who you are in the mirror.
¶ Teaching Values to Children
Well, you mentioned earlier, you have kids, so how do you teach this to your children? So,
we have a family meeting that we do on a weekly basis. And the first thing that we do is we came up as a family with five values because we didn't want a whole wrap sheet that we were listing. But these five values, we also figure out like, how did you integrate those these week, and do you feel like there's one that you need to work on more than the other?
And so instead of identifying them with an issue or a behavior that happened, we bring it back to the values because these are something that we agreed upon. This is how we identify.
¶ Living a Pleasure Led Life
So what does it look like when you're living this pleasure led life? How is it different the status quo?
So a lot of times people are kinda living on autopilot, right? It's an immediate reactionIt's you know, merit based. So job status, career, hobbies, activities. I like to flip that paradigm on its head. So before I get a thought or a feeling, I like to have a conscious awareness, is this my thought? Because not all the thoughts that we think are ours and all of the feelings we feel are true.
So my thinking is through conscious awareness of what my filters are in that space between thought and action. Subconsciously, I start to make more decisions that are aligned with who I am. So now I don't have to figure out like, am I doing this for me? Am I doing this for someone else? Who am I looking for approval for? And so now that I'm more comfortable with who I am, the things that I'm engaged in, the activities that I'm in, the hobbies that I'm in, they're for me.
People might benefit from them, yes, but I'm not doing it for that award. Congratulations or status that may never come.
DJ, thanks
¶ Speed Round: Quick Insights
for sharing. Now, let's switch gears for a little bit and go to the speed round. Are you ready? Let's do it. Okay. Fulfillment. Definitely matters.
When, you get into a place where you're doing things because they fill up your cup, then you're given from your overflow. And I have a saying that I, like to be selfishly selfless. Like as long as I'm pouring into me, I can give everyone, and I don't feel like I'm detracting from my mission, my goals, and it's from genuine place.
Work life balance.
Matters. We are here to do way more than just work. When I was in the hospitals, nobody was ever laying on their bed wishing they worked more. They wish they were around their family and had more memories and present activities rather than more work to do.
My favorite Steve Jobs quote is, you don't wanna die the richest man in the cemetery. Goal setting. Matters.
As long as they're your goals, when you understand whose goals there are, cool you're doing because everybody setting the goals, it doesn't matter.
Parenting.
Matters. Unfortunately, we all have childhood wounds that we having to carry in, and so the goal is to try and allow them to find themselves instead of have to fix themselves when they get older. Chess. Oh, definitely matters. Life is one big game to be played, and if you've ever played c hess with someone who plays checkers, they're really easy to run around.
Emotional intelligence.
it matters, I think, more than almost anything. Because especially as parents, if you can't regulate yourself, then you're flying off the handle at all times. If you're a business owner, if you're flying off the handles at all times and the sky is always falling, you're always stressed out. You're never enjoying anything.
Coffee.
I'm probably gonna ruffle some feathers. To me, it doesn't matter. Humans will always find some sort of substance or something that'll get 'em going. So if coffee ain't it, they'll just drink tea.
Video games.
Matters, I'm jealous of the kids now 'cause, we had to go to our friend's house if we wanted to play. Now they don't only gotta leave and they can really see who's the best in the world. But, I think it's a great way to explore hand eye coordination and learn to take risk without necessarily actually taking risk.
Money.
Kind of the same thing, like goal setting. If you're doing it to show off or to inflate your ego, it doesn't matter. But if you're using it to bolster your time and your opportunities with your family and your loved ones, it definitely matters.
Jujitsu. Matters.
It's a very humbling experience to know that technique beats force. I'm about 195, 200 pounds. And a couple weeks ago I rolled against a girl who was probably about 80 pounds, and that's being generous, and she absolutely dominated me for about 25 minutes. And it was just, I tip my hat for the technique.
Fashion.
it doesn't matter. You're only dressing to impress other people at that point.
All right. Any topic that I missed?
Food for me, good food, that is the creme de la creme. I've traveled to several different countries and I will tell you now if, I don't like the food of a country, I can't stay there. I gotta go.
So food matters.
Yes, definitely
So what, country doesn't have good food?
Columbia. I was not a fan of the Columbian food. And in Peru, outside of Lima, the food wasn't all that good.
That's interesting. Nobody talks about where there's bad food. Everyone talks about where there's good. that's not true. I, always hear England does not have good food.
I heard their five star districts, like when you go to the restaurants, the food is delicious. But I haven't really heard much outside of the international cuisine that they make in England.
Totally. DJ, this was great. thanks for, sharing all this. Where can people get in touch with you?
So you can go ahead and find me at PleasureLedLife.com, and check out some of my content. It's great. Same handle IG or Facebook. If you wanna get in touch with me on the social and I'd love to chat and link up.
DJ, thanks for coming on and, helping everyone understand how to lead a more fun and better life.
Thank you, Mike I appreciate you having me.