Oh, hello. Hello. Sam Tallent. Hey guys, it's so nice to be back. It's good to be here. Yeah. Good to have you. Dude, it's nice to actually hang out with the boys. Yeah. So they just pop in, shake hands, blow a kiss. You know, yesterday was so nice. Yes, it was a good day. Yeah, it was fun. Kids are a lot. Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't know how you know. No, no, no. I can handle it. And those kids compared to my sister's kids, your kids are angels.
They're good, but she had a total meltdown. It starts. It's so funny. I've never seen a meltdown. It's so funny, dude. Yeah, they go. It's full-shape experience. Yeah, it's just like. Oh, James is James's kid hit a tragedy, too. Yeah, now the girl she built a pillow for it at the end. Yeah. And then James was like, all right, let's go. And she's like, I just built the floor. I haven't even gotten to use that. And then James was like, all right, let's take a picture next to the fort so we always remember it. She sat next to it like.
This is a pile of fucking pillows on the ground. Fort sock. Sorry, James. It was a very Australian fort. Very aboriginal. It was fun to see the differences in parenting between you and Brittany and James and his wife. Because at one point, James's daughter had one of those balloons that they were using in the pool. And she approached Brittany as I was grilling the food. And Brittany said, you keep that balloon away from me, little girl. It just came out of her. And I laugh so hard. And then Brittany was like, oh, shit, you weren't supposed to hear that.
I smashed one of James kids with the door. It was standing by that door. I opened it. It was just me and him in the hallway. And he was like, I was like, you think you're fine? Do you think they're talking tell them they stand right in front of the doors like dogs? Yeah. My kids, I can open my garage door so slow because I've like opened it and there's like,
what are you? I used to hit her right there. No frill just like chill by the door like a sim. James's baby was he was waiting. The blinds were down. They discovered the doggy door. And that was almost the night. I banish my from the doggy door. She's like, he's all I want to do. It's a portal between worlds. Yeah. And they have a dog run over there too. They were safe. There's funny. The James was saying that she thought the kid was lying. He was like, I was a
change house. There's a secret door. There's a we were in the secret door. It's a tiny door. She was like, all right, that's great. Yeah, I didn't believe it. I got here and they're like, oh, shit. It's a secret door. I didn't believe in me. They're like, I found a secret door. I was like, I never injured this place. You didn't find a fucking secret door. I looked over and I was like, oh man, fuck. To which point you must get a big
feel eye now. It's set up. I do. Yeah. I need to see links. I think I'm going to live here for another year in this house. So nice. I could get a got to or just get a door that's big enough for Lamar to crawl through. But that means Lamar has to live here for another year to attend my guttito. True. It's true. That's quite that I contact. And they don't stare at you. You're looking up cool cats. Big doors near me.
I'm not sure to cure too. No racism, but we are the man can true. Yeah, that's a good cat. That's great cat. I don't think anyone was just, you know, attributing a pause to get toward a Lamar. True. You never, you also never know what somebody can do as well online. People can, you could say anything on a black. Yeah. Everything I've never said anything bad. It was fucking AI. He's big up bullshit. It was funny. You had the hose in the pool. The pool
cleaner and I held up James is like one year old baby. It's for you to spray in the belly. That baby had to be like, well, who's this huge man? Oh, I'm up here. Yeah, spraying the kids was great. It was a good day. That pool cleaner hoses things are precious, bro, things are sucks. I just discovered why my water bill was $2,000. Is there cracking? Whatever the boys swim, they like to take the robot, put it on the side of the pool. What?
The last two days I've woken up to a totally I totally flooded the back porch. This sprays all night. This is the first time we took it out. I think it was the robot was out the night before. Yeah, you can't you can't interrupt those things at all. They're very delicate machines and that college has had there was a good one. There was no pause, but we were all new, but I got
the girl. He started laughing. The lady was like, these guys shoot so fast. I just like the girl. They shoot so fast. That's the best thing about tires is they shoot so fast. So funny. If he give in and laugh or just he was just no, he was dying. His face was dark red. Gerby's on zoom call with a meeting is that is my he was like a gamer headset. He doesn't he doesn't wear a full gamer headset. He's like the guy from Grandma's
boy. And he has his glasses and a polo on every time. And he's like, well, yeah, well, the show is up for the city. He does. I mean, it makes sense. It's just man. Him in that context is for one of my favorite things to think about. Yeah, it's very important high pressure meetings. And this you be like
I always get it. Oh, my God, damn, Steve, when the show comes out, you can be a sexual icon. I don't know if you talked about it on here, but when you forced him when you're like made him give a speech, that big dinner.
Oh, so good. The night before we did the premiere for tires, we had like a dinner with all the Netflix people. And I was sitting next to a guy that was like, I'm going to give a speech. And I was like, you have to make Steve give a speech. And I'm like, for real, he's going to say, no, but you have to as a Netflix guy be like, Steve, you're the big star of the show. You're the number one star. You have to give a speech. And it worked. Yeah, it worked in the
speech. Give like a heartfelt speech about all of us. And I was like, I do shut the point. I was like, I'm pretty sure he was like, did you change the chain tell you that he did after he was like, well, I'm not number one. I was like, he was Steve, he's a big guy. The big shot. And then Kyla got up and was like, by the way, the toilets are broken. It's funny. Just in the next like shock a lot. Yeah, get in the bathtub. You're queer.
I think that was my favorite line of the show though was when she's talking to a shaneer and that girl and she's like, excuse me, folks, I gotta get a poop. I like the chocolate milk rumor that had me giggling. And you making him stink in the fact that he reached. That was so funny. The you hear your little rumor made it in there. Oh, that was great too. I was a little nod to Bill.
But Matt, you did such a good job of acting. People didn't recognize you. I mean, bro, nothing could bring me more pleasure than people. I didn't know that was you. I said, my God. There were so many people that were like, where the fuck is Matt? There needs to be a Matt came. I was like, Tural smiddati. I got you. Yeah, dude.
I didn't recognize you too much with that. Yeah, you lost yourself in that. That was more of my I think I did a little my's there for that one. I have been observing cops are a long time. You did. Somebody got me on that too. They're like, you can see Shane smile when Matt pulls up when you pull up. I'm literally like. I like start laughing as soon as you're like, freeze.
Yeah, I was absolutely delighted that people were like, I didn't even know you're in that. I was like, man. Yeah, I might be sick if I develop like it. Like just ridiculous acting. You go, or I'm just like just the craft. It's just the crap. Yeah, you know, I was watching the I was watching the Kevin Spacey on mass class.
How was it? Fucking fine other than the worst thing he did was he jacked off during saving. So I it's the same thing over and over against the same story. He goes he meets a dude. And he is clearly just trying to fuck these guys. Yeah, sure. And every dude is like a Hollywood guy like a desperate Hollywood actor that's like, this is my big chance.
He's gonna be my friend. He chose me to be friends with for no fucking reason. Yeah, well, that's their mind. They're like, he just could see it in me. Yeah. So he's never seen you act here at a bar. Right. He's wearing leather pants. Yeah. The one guy was like, he saw me at the Golden Globes. I was just staying there in Kevin Spacey walked up and was like, who are you?
It's like obviously he's trying to fuck you, dude. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think that is? Anyway, the one guy he met at a bar. They were like talking and stuff. And then he was like, let's hang out. Oh, he's like, there's a party at my house. So they go back to his house. He makes out. There's no one else there. And then people just come and go. It's that kind of part. Yeah, I think that actually might have been a different guy than the same.
That's a. Got him in the home theater. He had the same guy. They were at a house party. And he was like, we should go check out this home theater. Yeah. Okay. It's like, bro, you know what that is. Watching movies. They're both xenophiles. They are xenophiles. Hey, grab the one guy's dick. I'm sad. I'm the sad of fucking house. Just honked him between shots. They were behind the curtain. We were watching last night. I was like, dude, I'm ruined. I'm honked everyone.
They're gonna be a shameless. There's a tent. There's a tent. They're trying. He's all the regrows. He just. He told me it's what guys do. There's intent though. There's a guy. The one guy he goes out with. He's like, let's go. Let's go hang out. So they're walking around. They go to a movie theater. The guy had just worked on saving private Ryan. And he was like, oh, this is your movie.
Let's go watch it. So they're sitting in the theater. And it's the opening scene. It's D day. And the guy said he looked over it. Kevin Spacey was checking all. To D day. To D day. Yeah. To save private Ryan's D day. Right. Just headshot headshot explosion. I guess you're trying to take his temperature. D afternoon. Yeah. If you can trick guys that easily, it just goes to show that the women never stood a chance.
Yeah. Absolutely right. To be fair to Spacey. That's a very fair point. To be fair to Spacey. The possibility of getting head during that D day scene is immense. It'd be crazy. It'd be the biggest accomplishment. I made a straight guy suck my dick during D day. He says that at his walk. It's Hollywood Walker famous beach of all my accolades. Should put his cock in the hand. So I fell forward.
He's nine fingers. One dick imprint. Guess which one is playing Kevin Spacey. He's back. He's just like back doing a thing. Now what do they do behind the actor studio now? I don't think they know. No, he wasn't. That was stock footage. He just did an interview now. Didn't he? He came out after three years of silence. Okay. Yeah. So the interview was I think I heard. No, this was a interview in the victims.
I think I just did to got honked over the last 25 years. It was an absolute honking. He likes flipping service men. That's his ultimate fetish because his dad was a Nazi and like diddle him like well dressed in SS gear. What? So now his dad was a big time Nazi. Yeah. Yeah. And his like fucking brother. He had a Nazi dad. He makes a little more sense now. True. He was like this fucking defeat. He's more the fucker. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. So he got molested by his dad and Nazi clothes. I think molested is a nice way to put it. Maybe you got turned out repeatedly. It's like that joke. There's the one guy. This is what's job born in the Nazi. That was Kevin Spacey's dad that actually did that. He's a widespread phenomenon. How can I make this more evil? I didn't know that. Yeah. He just did an interview himself though. I'm pretty sure.
No, he did one with Tucker Carlson. That was not stood recently. Yeah. He did a Tucker one where he broke the fourth wall again and did that fucking house of cards. No, he did it again. He did it during the interview with Tucker. It was very weird. What Tucker says? Oh, all right. Have you ever had a zin Kevin Spacey? It's a bit strange. He's usually called me down. Damn. But yeah, Jack and off during saving brother Ryan was making me laugh very hard time bro move. It is crazy. It's crazy, dude.
But it is funny to get just your own just by your own devices, the rationalized being Kevin Spacey's basement being like, yeah, man, I'm a phenomenal. That one commercial. He saw me in. He never saw any of these guys and anything. And they were like, this could be my entire career. I have to do this. The one guy was like, I'm not gay. I sucked a dip for like 10 seconds. Then I was like, well, this is not me. Any bar.
That's kind of fucked up. He sucked them for 10 seconds. If I was on the jury, I'd space man finish it off. Don't wait. The space man jacked off and then drove around with him for like three more hours. All over the steering wheel and his pants. What a high crime. I'll just sit up in the jury. Like you you suck it for 10 seconds to stop. Guys. I'm in my cage. How do you have an impassioned speech? What's really what's the greatest wrong here? Yeah. True. You should be on trial.
10 seconds suck will give a man heart attack. Yeah, you're guilty of blue ballery. Damn space. That's sick. Is he making a comeback amongst this like negative documentary? Is that why he did Tucker? I don't know. I'm sure he's trying to make a comeback. But yeah, that's as far as I got. Did he do anything real evil in there?
How far did you get? I got to the. Did you get to when he opened the theater and it was just his little like sweet candy shop of young boys? No. Dude, he like ran this like very famous theater in London. And he would have these like intensives where he would just round up like 60 of the most like supple dudes and be like, I'm your teacher. Come. And then he would just like sit next to him and like rub their backs and be like, you need to tap into something deeper.
And then invariably, you know, fuck most of them. Tap in. Yeah. But all every one of them was like, I've been training my whole life for this moment to be near Kevin Spacey. Yeah. And then he's like, meet me upstairs and he's just got his fucking throbbing cock in his hand. Yeah. You think that would be, you know, with these like young young boys, are they? No, I think they were like 19 or 20 years. Yeah. Yeah.
And then some training if they're like a straight 40 year old guy and you're like, you're in a job interview and say any good qualities be like, I'm so driven by ambition one time that I completely rationalized. Yeah. Kevin Spacey's Jake for 10 seconds. Yeah. That's how bad I want to. Right. Like that one guy. Wasn't that with the fire festival documented remember that guy who blew everybody's like water. Oh my god. Yes. That guy ruled.
We need water for the festival and the guy was like, you can't have this water. And he's like, so I sucked his dick. Yeah. And that guy was like the president of Haiti or something. Yeah. Fuck. Need water. You want to keep it going? How far do you think I could suck my way up into like local politics? I think you could go. I think you get real fun. You be an automon. Yeah. State Senator easy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's become a trash man. I just beat you. I suck my way down to sanitation.
Oh, now man, you've had a big week. Yeah. I'm thinking of sucking into all this stuff. I'm a pedophile now on TikTok. Oh shit. Yeah. Pedophile. That is what it is. We're all going to roll with the bunches. Yeah. It is kind of funny though. It has been a, it's what I get. I've been calling people pedophiles online for six years. So I was just like, yeah, right. Fair enough. Yeah, see how this feels. Yeah. Not good. Yeah.
This is usually who smelt it. Delta. That's my bad. I know. I as soon as hit me, I was like, I fair enough. I get it. Although years was clearly funny. It was a joke. Yeah. You were clearly. Yeah. So talk men talking about being like bombed out by the lack of Jack kids. It does sound like a pedophile, but it's funny. It's funny. It's true. Those shirts are a scourge. They're everywhere.
Yeah. I do. I do wonder what those shirts are for that SPF like every kid wears a rash guard now. It's kind of like bro. What are you? You're going to have the most wicked farmers. I mean, that technology was available when I was a fat child. You best believe I would have been in a head to toe. It's a good bean dipped relentlessly. True. Yeah, it was like that was like great. I still to this day. If someone has a shirt on the pool, I'm going like, yeah, yeah.
It was unthinkable. Now it's like standard issue shirt and the pool shirt. When you see him at indoor pools and you're like, all right. You got bruises. What's happening? Yeah, true. I used to rock pretty hard. Titty to us to bruises. Oh, yeah. My dad would get furious if he saw that. What are you doing? Yeah. He's like, you're going to get fucking cancer from that. He would tell me that you get cancer. If you have like bruises around your nipples, that gives you cancer.
Holy shit. My sister has breast cancer. Holy shit. What have you done? I don't think you really titty titty twister in women is. It's part of the game. It's tough. It's life. It is life. It's just life. Well, that's it's a tougher kind of the finest part. I don't think I've ever successfully titty twisted a girl. Now I'm just talking a little. Start the ignition a little. Yeah, ding dong. I'm here. Like you're starting the engine. Anybody want to turn over? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, because it would be tough as boobs are naturally squishy. So if you try to twist the boob, just like on guard. I got bean dipped a week ago. And I chopped the kid like a pro wrestler. You should. I did. Bean div is the ultimate offense. It's the worst thing you can do. Look to me. I'm gonna give you a little one. I'm someone lifts you. Let's your boot. We all know the boobs in there. So the boob lift. I know the boob lift. I never do it referred to as a bean. Bean. Bean dip.
My has been kind of like anytime I'm leaning forward, she's been hitting me with these. I'm like, yeah, bean div. That's an off-shed young bully. It's purely out of curiosity. She's like, what is that shape? And she's like, I'm like, man, that's a little fuckers. Get off. Go to bed. You're in trouble. It's two in the afternoon. Were you listening the other day?
Yeah. Yeah. I have been reflecting on the internet though. I'm like, it is nuts because I am like I'm when you get I was making fun of meek Mill a lot. Being like, dude, he keeps defending himself. And I'm like, now I get it. If someone says something bad about you, you want so badly. Guys, for the record, I'm not. You want to put out that drink? The whole drink. This response. Just like if I was a pedophile, I'd be arrested by now. It's so hard. Guys, I'm not.
I think the lady dot protest too much. You can never sweet sweet pussy. You can never you can never defend the pedophile. You can't you actually get you know, you have to just take him. Yeah, he's just a thorn in my life forever. I come off a kid's back. You know, but that's true. You have to go into hiding for three years. Then do Tucker Carlson. That's the way out. You know, it's none of my business space. He got or he got that was the original accusation was a young.
Yeah, that was his defense. Yeah, this sounds terrible, but in his defense, he was at a gay party. How young was the kid? I don't know. Teenies. Teeny bops. Yeah, little teeny bob. Teeny bob that a gay party, which is terrible. I get terrible terrible terrible terrible. What? Yeah, the team up to the gay party. He said, well, I say like that. I mean, I was there's a there's a thing going around. I've heard gay people say this being like there. It's like.
It's not as police like that whole day. It was like more held down almost like in the 90s like jailbait where they kind of kept party in that vein. That's what I've heard from a gay guy online or maybe I just made it all. There was like a history of like Milo, you know, I was hit that. Yeah, right. He was talking about that. Like, bro, it's kind of part of being gay. What is it, Sean? What have you discovered?
In 2017 actor Anthony rap accused Spacey of making sexual advances toward him and rap was 14 years old. Anthony rap was he? I don't know. Nothing. All the money in the world. All the money in the world. That'd be crazy beating like the mothership. No one's spaces on your ass. Yeah, give me a fuck out of you send me into space. Space man. Yeah. But yeah, but I it hasn't fired me though to do a I'm going to try to not ingest any product of the algorithm for like a month.
See if it is now I'm kind of like question everything I'm going like, dude, that's crazy. Because it it's a fake thing. It's like there's an entirely manufactured story. Yeah, how much of the shit I read is just complete. How big is this fucking story? It's like a million people. It's about a million people on TikTok. Yeah, it's a tech tonic shift. Yeah, it was a lot. I don't have I don't have TikTok on my phone. So I don't know how to get on to it and look at it.
So I have no idea what's going on. My cousin. You tweeted about it. I'm a pet of fire. Yeah, I'm a little kid of the beach where I fucking son protective shirt. It's like when we see your packs. It's crying. What? Now we're fucking shirts. I'm a little bit of the beach where the video you shared is a crying. Oh, it is very funny. You were just goofing dude. I was having a good old time. It was funny. I went on one cool podcast by myself. You went rogue. I got one shot. You need handlers.
God damn it. Son of a bitch. I will say it doesn't make the community pool very weird. I mean, I obviously don't know. No, someone's like you got the TikTok. Shit. I mean, just like what I do to lay low there, the community pool. I just keep a snorkel on it. Some Texas dad's going to punch you in the mouth. Fuck out of you. You said jack up my goggles. No, that was funny. It is funny. That's nothing. You'll be right.
No, it's really isn't anything. It was just very funny how it does set the wheel spinning. A lot of you. Yeah. That was just one video. Fuck. I don't have a TikTok. I got it. I'm like, down there. It's like comments on all these. I got no peace of the fucking video. It's a sure pito. Yeah. That's the thing that for reals, by me, on obviously it sounds like I'm just all pure self interest, but nothing gets your attention more than your image being manipulated. It's being petafile.
You don't want to face in the word petafile. It's real. It's like holy shit, man. I'm going to try to like take two months. This is crazy. But again, I've been the spearhead of many false claims. I'm hate. I like to apologize. Are you petafile? Yeah. We obviously apologize. I'm just a Jersey Drake. We obviously apologize. We're sorry. Who else would you? Hillary Clinton. We're not sorry, baby. No, you definitely took boys from Haiti. You took little kids from Haiti. Cardini. I have no idea.
Cardini. No apology. We know what you did. Cat, motherfucking down. How was that pitch, bro? So scared. I heard you smoked it. I did pretty good. Strike. I heard you basically threw a strike. It's close to a strike. Paying the corner. It wasn't long enough. I was on the right side. I was on the right side. Bryce framed it for me nicely. Really? Did you train it all? I went to Texas' baseball field last week, shout out Ace. One of the other, boy. That's awesome. And it's named Ace for real.
Yeah. Beast. I was like, I need to be able to throw from the mound. I have no idea what this is like. And he hooked you up. And he was like, yeah, come with the field. I can see a good pitcher and he's kissed you. Right when I got there. I was like, where is everybody? And he's like, it's just you and me. And he kissed me. But coming from this practice all the time. I sucked his dick for 10 seconds. I sucked his dick. No. That's hetero, bro. He's ruined it. It's poison going to wild us.
I'm just kidding. We're talking about Kevin Spacey before. I'm saying that's hetero. That's new rules. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. I'm going to get it. We're talking about Kevin Spacey before. I'm saying that's hetero. That's a new rule. If you pop off the pipe in 10 seconds, hetero. Pass. That is yeah. I'm talking about guys digging and being like, what the fuck? Dude, it's great. When I got on the mound through a couple, they were good.
I was like, oh, thank God. I thought I had a full girl on. And then you're lefty, too, bro. Lefty, dude. You see how I'm talking. So, yeah. If you throw it hard, it's very hard to throw a strike. Yeah. I tried that. And every time it went a mile over the head. Oh, you're so high. Yeah. Because you're also elevated on that mound. Yeah. You're the whole trajectory. It's not that high. Everybody talks about that. The mound wasn't that.
But when you get out, when I got out there, You got a lot of mound talks. What's it? You talk about mounds a lot? No, a lot of people say that. They're like, you forget how high that mound it's not. Yeah. Like you just did. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. I was trying to. I know you. But I'm saying that's an example of something that somebody has never been on the mound. Who would say, yeah, but I am mound shaped. What if I stand on the plate on the mound?
You could have stayed on my belly in there on the pitch. And you would have been fine. That would have been a show. That would have been a show. That would have been a big show. Did you have foot on plate from the pitch? Yeah. Did you have to have your foot on the plate when you start the pitch? Yes. Okay. But I got there. And everyone was like, you got to throw it from the mound or you're a pussy. And then as soon as I walked in, the lady was like, You're not allowed to throw it from the mound.
Throw it from in front of it. What? And I was like, starting out with a pan, I was like, I have to get called. You have to ignore this lady. A hundred dudes on the internet. They're going to call me a pussy for this. So lady, the Phillies games that you can't say? Yeah, she was like, you can't go on the mound. I was like, I'm going to go, I have to go. And she was like, look, you're going to be the only one out there. No one's going to stop you. Go ahead. Oh, thank you.
And then you get out there. But then when fucking Bryce Harvard, first of all, I forgot it was him that was doing it. That's kind of crazy. Very scary. When he walked out, I was like, oh, there he is. He's like the biggest star on the Phillies. Yeah. Yeah. When they get into the catchers position while you're up there, you're like, holy shit. It's so far away and so small. I'm definitely going to miss it. Oh, my God. Yeah. And I was thinking about the entire time.
Yeah. Like while I was throwing, I was like, don't fuck this up. Don't fuck it up. You're releasing it all up. Oh, my God. You know, I mean, you would hope that you would like. How slow to that ball in your mind, travel to his home. I can't know. It went fast. I was like, oh, I drilled it. Did he put the glove off like cat? Yeah. Tommy John after that. But I got up on the mound and then they kept announcing other people and I just had to stand there for like a minute.
And I was like looking at Bryce Harper like, dude, when do I fucking go? When do I go? He was like, relax. You had to go fucking funny. Yeah. It was very neat and I was very happy to do it. But I was dreading it all day. He's so scary all day. It's terrifying. And what's at stake is like my entire man. Oh, God, dude. Everything. Yeah. Unless again, unless you won full wild. You just sped spiked it. I mean, I considered throwing his heart as I could. Because it wouldn't be hilarious.
He did the right thing, dude. That would have, I couldn't handle that. That's one type of footage. Oh, did I brush this? So tops made a fucking baseball draw. I saw that. Did you get it? Is it a physical card? Yeah, that's cool. I see that. Ethan sent me the copies of it. Did they send me the options? I gotta show you this one. There's this one. That's awesome. How about we think? Yeah. That's nice, dude. I'll send it to you. We can put it on. Like absolutely not. No. The throw.
I should have gave you a ball and hand though. The right after the release is nice. You can see how hard I'm trying. Yeah. The throw of 45 miles an hour. Yeah, 45's a fucking joke. 45's a no joke. Dude, a lot of people joke around. That's not a fucking joke. Gerbys was the biggest cock sucker about it. What did he do? He was like, that wasn't bad. I was like, Steve, you could never do that. What the fuck? Yeah, he was a dickhead. He was like, that wasn't bad.
He was like, we all might have to clock in. I think we're gonna, I'd love to. Well, we're gonna need 40,000 people watching. True. That's another big part of it. Yeah, true. Yeah, you can't recreate that. 40,000 Philly's fans. Right. The worst ones. People that are dying to call you gay. Yeah, they want it so bad. Just for that pitch to fuck up and then all get to be like, you got to do. You're new goal. You should do Citizens Bad Park. You can throw it. You can relive the pitching for 40s out.
They're gonna. Our garbage smoke. I'm gonna get Garbys on that field this summer. Oh, yeah. We'll get him out there. Dude, that fucking bitch. Give him like August. Give him like August too. I'm getting it. Yeah, it's a hot. August. Dog days. I'm gonna make him drink the night before. So it's arthritis is really inflamed. You're gonna fuck with his disease. I couldn't believe it. I was like, I'm gonna fuck with his disease. I couldn't believe it.
I was like, Steve, you had a panic attack at the Q&A. You'd never be able to stand in front of me. Why didn't you say that was all right like that? I don't know. He was being a dickhead. And he was laughing. And then he came to my house on Friday. And my parents. I was still talking shit. He was like, it wasn't that bad. He was all right. He got it there. You got it there. Steve, you should've worn the fucking dog. Does he love baseball? He does now. He got into the Philly's this year.
He's a kid. He got into Bud Light and the Philly's dude. So Gerbys is gonna work. Gerbys is a company man. Your sex life is important, but your schedule is busy. You don't have the time to go to a doctor's office to get treated for your erectile of this function. Through him's now you can get treated for ED without stepping foot outside your door. You've flaccid freak. You don't even have to leave the house.
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It's looking like the Boston Celtics. I've heard that as well. It's looking like the Boston Celtics I hope it's the maps. The maps are the cooler team. Obviously Kyrie. Yeah, Luca. Yeah Luca is at 30 and a half this next game. When is it tonight? It's too late for all listeners, but I would have said just for the listeners. I would said more. Oh, yeah a little more More look at more than 30 look at more than 30, but it's not just is it just points there? Okay, there's Kyrie available
Wow, what a great what's it? Yeah, I think Kyrie bet 18. I would guess I'll go more local drop 30 Call them 34 right now 23 We I say more there to yeah, well, I if I were doing that I'd say more on Kyrie less on Luca bumps Still think Lucas dropping 30 going more all right there. Thank you. That's fine. Wait here Let's plug those shows too
Hello, no, no, no, if you are come on. Yeah more camera time come on Hello everybody if you're free Tuesday June 4th a week from today me lamarinator Do an optimum noctis at the Creek in the cave Please come to that if you can 8 p.m. June 4th and then I'll be in Raleigh on June 6th Thursday Please come to that and I'll be in the Midwest Batavia St. Louis Indianapolis you got a website
You got a website where they can find your days. Thank you. Please go on my Instagram. Shrung or do you thank you? That's a nice plug long ass fucking book. I'm sorry. Let me see how pro does it. Yeah, watch wide world and Sam talents YouTube Listen to show you the he-meth Winnipeg Lafayette San Francisco Batavia Pittsburgh Sam talent dot com for tickets Batavia's got a lot of shout outs today. Yeah Watch tires. Yeah, watch it again, dude
I was watching again. Yeah, so we can stay in the top 10. Yes, please and Shane M. Gillis dot com for tickets Matt McCusker dot com slash dates Houston is the next one. Please go. Thank you. Please come to Winnipeg I like who who just did a special amongst like a crowd of psych like psychiatrist Colin Quinn. Yeah, CQ That's a wild move The shit he does is pretty tight. Yeah, he's getting up love true in the grand scheme He what but that show he did was tough crowd was like
So crowd was awesome. Yeah, like it was like instead of building a bill mar was doing his thing And he was just doing a bro down on HBO, which is like pretty. Yeah, well you guys kind of did that same thing Though where you platformed your dumb friends and let them you know compete for your affection about their opinions. Yeah, exactly Well, man, you have any good thoughts lately. You usually have the worst opinions What oh yeah, so you throw 70 miles now. Yes, yeah, 70 bro
Give me a month. That's always the argument. Give me a month Eight hours a day. What's the fastest you ever clocked in it? I don't know. Never once never Seventies crazy 72 a catcher not just fucking throwing it as hard as you can do. I don't even think that I think No, he didn't I was with the mayor all weekend. I have a theory that lamar learned to read from anime subtitles I was watching them. I was watching them watch anime. This is definitely how he learned to read
Mary there's no way you got good grades in school. I was like a B student. I can see you actually be guy That was in the Detroit public school systems No, it's a me. Yes, but for a guy without a lot of friends. That's bad You weren't busy getting late or anything I believe you I believe you have
Obviously read my bro you the man. It was fun to observe the mayor and don't try to get off that mic You guys came to that bar after your late show and I was while observing lamar was like involved in a conversation Over here and then someone brought up anime or something and you turned and left and implanted yourself Just go. Yeah, he was very good. He was very free. I admired it. Sorry, man They're talking about Wayne head
I heard you've been a bit of a prick around the comedy scene here. No, I haven't even been around. I heard you've been a little cocky No, oh dude. You should have seen the pops you was getting in Denver till yeah, it was dude the host would be like what do you want me to joke? Sorry, I'm joking the host would be like what do you want me to say for you? Let me just whatever just you know and they'd be like all right, man like they came to me like who the fuck says?
Yeah, and then you go out and they go out and be like Oh Came back and we're like Jesus Jesus We didn't that was crazy. They don't know the path. They didn't know who they were dealing with the other path deal with the almighty Lemme's then they ask them they go the manager Ashley was like hey, Lamar, do you want to do headline he goes?
Yeah, god damn it. I'm like soon as you left. I'm like what the fuck you doing just say yes. Yes. Yes I could I did you know I could head I was you could headline Hey, totally good anyone could that's a you're gonna kill there. Yeah, man. I was just so as soon as you left
I was suck as to bomb there. I've seen it happen. You've seen people bomb there. I've seen people bomb horrendously There's a guy named John hefron's a comic name well I'm just saying he's a good comic and I've hosted form over my career
He would come at hosting feature and then he was going through a divorce. I saw him right before he went on stage Slaping himself in the face in the mirror and saying you got to be funny because it's all you got Anyone out there and ate it horrendously Yeah, and like before the show he was like Yeah, I got all these bits about being married, but I can't do a man. Oh, you gotta keep doing them, bro
Keep doing them. Yeah Yes, those yours dude you earn them right and I'm saying his name because he is a good comic, but it was fun to see You know, yeah, it's hilarious. Yeah, it was good to hear your internal model
You work for those brothers. Yeah, don't let her can't take everything in the divorce No, dude, you'd have to keep it absolutely get to keep the jokes So I own a key a said oh No, my dog does That would be crazy Because if I was like going through divorce talking about being married I'd have a psychic break on stage I would just lay or psychotic breaks even like I tell a joke about having the kids that are two and four just because like
Chloe's turned into this week. So I'd have been like rather than being like one and four I'm like to a section not to yet dude in my head. I'm going like fuck dude. She's not to Fuckin makes me feel crazy. Yeah, I also been having a For the last show I experiment like can I start smoking a little bit of weed before shows now I Experiment experiment with the very last show and I was fine
Just experiment, but dude. I had this thing where I haven't I have I deal with a terrible internal monologue the whole time I do stand up, but then I was I had like a visualized Teleprompter of all the words I was about to say as I was doing that last show and I was like Please make this stop. Oh, no, it was kill me. It turned out to be fine, but it was like I was like well as an interesting Interesting the experiment
Just a fine discovery. It's from the I want to see if Terrence Hauer was right. So I got high before my show Dude the Philadelphia diaspora in Denver this weekend when Matt was there and the fillies were in town It was like I kept seeing I kept seeing fillies Yeah, nice. Yeah, so losing a series to the Rockies, which has never been done. Fuck yeah Dude, I'll say I also performed
Physically at altitude that is no easy task. No, I worked out and I thought I was for real having like a cardiac event I was like why is my heart rate not going and it was just at like a steady one thirty five and I was like It's not going back down. I was like Fuck and then I realized I was up in the air and I said oh shit these guys are kidding around about this
Yeah, yeah, man, you're gonna come train with the big dogs. I'm telling you I felt super human I worked out today and I was like bro, this is crazy Yeah, the Lepid trading center in Colorado Springs is pumped out a lot. I might start wearing the mask Just so I'm ready to see the game. Yeah, the oxygen. Yeah, I need to be ready for it If it case after competing Colorado day He's got to get beat Colorado Yeah, he's got a bench press 60 pound dumbbells again twice a car
I need to stay ready that like for real fuck me up. I was like what an advantage you'll fuck me up on stage in Denver Yeah, dude, you get dry mouth and the drinks still yeah, you get dry my nose was itchy So at the whole time one of the shows I was like that is a terrible thing also for to go stage finally We did it forting on stage. Yeah, finally did it on the lake. Yeah, I dog for it like a quiet Seaped out while you're talking. Yes, did you say? Well, I kept trying to smell it. I was like
Like told Matt on Thursday in four columns. I was in the room and it's a small room It's like 200 people but it's packed and I farted on stage and then I was like oh Fucking reeks and then I was like asking the front row like you smell that what the fuck is that? That there was a big fat guy. I was like it was you for sure Look at you He just did that He was wearing my t-shirt and everything This guy fucking
That is genius. I got co-girl evil genius. So let us evil genius To get ahead of it propaganda It was you if that's a so quick the turn My It's so bad how bad was a fart was it like it's stuck that was really bad Yeah, it was one of the worst things that we leave my body you sure slipped a hundred in his hand Like brother sorry about I was with his girlfriend He fart all the time like She's like yeah, of course he does look at him. Yeah, oh my god
That's evil dude. Yeah, it is I will say the quickness of getting ahead of you're in fire me like Don't fuck his head damn dude is devil you yeah You like almost did he like ever cop to it or is he like it wasn't me? It wasn't or he just laughing. No, he was loving it. I told you that one before right what I've copped the farts really Yeah, it's a big guy you get blamed for the fart. You fucking I was at a we're in a girl's house you've been Your mouse dies
I took a we had a girl's house in the high school. We're in her basement and Stakes gonna be higher the a dog took a shit The dog took a shit someone was like what the fuck is that smell did you fart and I was like Yeah, I did for it Yeah, I had farted during the time in the basement
Yeah, I farted, but that's not me. It smells like dog shit And they're like you They found the put went you found that it was somebody went to get a beer in the other Backroom he was a pile shit there and I was like oh my god Fucking assholes maybe admit for all these hot girls at far And then it's to be like it wasn't even like a yeah, I farted it was like a full interrogation They're like I know you far as I swear to fucking got it for I'm not farted early You got trapped in my jeans
But thinking you were responsible for a dog shit dog shit. I knew it wasn't me all on this. I knew it wasn't me all I knew the dog shit's film. Okay. Yeah, I knew it was me. I was like that smells like dog shit. Yeah, did you fucking fart? Dastardly, yes, I farted you were exonerated we all kind of but then all the girls knew I was down there farting. Yeah So was every guy that's that a hunch
Oh, I since we last talk I had a nightmare gig. I did the did we talk last time I did the Texas show no What happened I did the the Texas oh you did the The NIL fund or like it was like it was a fundraiser Texas, yeah, dude, I had to go on on the field the it like a concert like a stadium size like a concert stage Like a half time show yes at the 50-yard line There was probably how many people you think with it probably like a thousand maybe
Maybe less just all at tables. It was just on the field It was just on the field it was a dinner. Oh, okay, and I had the MC the show so I had to go on first The sun was out. It was 900 degrees. Oh
People were just walking into the event standing and talking. Yeah, they were like suits and stuff. Yeah, they were like all right go on Do 10 minutes material I was like I there's not one joke I have that can work here Mm-hmm, and I was and Tony Hinch hook came with me and I was like I'm gonna bring Tony on and the guy was like I guess word got around to the guys who set it up the Tony was gonna go on and they were all like There's children here. I was like there's fucking children here
Right before I go on they're like, please don't fuck this up dude. I was like all right Oh The guy who runs it's very funny that's so he was like don't fuck me So I got on there. I tried one joke Midway through I was like this is insane that I'm even trying this at least you're able to pull yourself out of that I just stopped I would have just told everyone was like this is this is insane that I'm up here
Yeah, and then I was like I'll try a little Trump form. I did one second of an impression and I was like Never mind And I was like my buddy's don't he's here. Let's bring up Tony. We did like Tony keep it clean It's fucking kids. Yeah, he started one. He started one that I knew the punchline. I was like chill on that one next
That was been fun though. I was very fun. I genuinely had a good time But it was it was funny cool it opens top Vince Young was there in the front No way and now it was his birthday and I was like Vince Young I heard you birthday today He was I was he was like yeah, I was like how are you 41 more like Vince old That's pretty folks In the suit till that's so nice it was you were wearing a suit now. I was wearing Business cabs just pull on jeans. I think oh nice. Yeah, that's your suit
You guys raise a lot of money do you get the kids to come and play football? Yeah, good now I gotta do it for no day Oh, that'll be serious raise money for the Irish now you know to the lane of land. Yeah, bring Sean out dress like a leprechaun That'd be fun. It'll fill four minutes Yeah, I'll never that was a different dress as a priest true. Yeah No, that'll be dude master of ceremonies is nice. Yeah, I am not that I think you're a decent master
I mean, yeah, I just watched Eastbound and down for a full week. So I was up there just doing candy powers Let's go for all y'all to be here tonight Finest other accent because I was nervous No, it was a nightmare and it was 100 fucking degrees. Yeah, that's not actually Brooks and Don cleaned up the mess. Oh shit B&D came out Brooks and Don cleaned up Oh, no, they should have brought you up Now they don't the whole crowd have had enough Yeah
That's really hard to do yeah, it was old Texas billionaires and it was weird. Yeah, crowd works kind of out of the option to the whole thing Just because nothing you could do. Yeah, you can't be like what are you guys married? Oh, yeah, yeah, you guys are old as hell. What are you rich?
You know, everybody's Steven one time had to host a similar event for a hydro syphilis benefit which is water Yeah situation and we were like we were very young and stand up It was the middle of the day at like a playground on a hospital and Steve's a very very dirty Black comic and I was like dude. Let's get through this and get the you know
$300. Yeah, it'll be awesome and we walk out and there was all these kids with like huge Missformed heads and Steve just started laughing and then I started laughing so we're up on stage like trying to two man Like auction off you know the raffle or whatever and Steve just giggling the whole time That's really bad. Yeah, that's really bad. Yeah, especially the giggles like that. There's no stop Well, yeah, dude when he was us against the world and he's giggling and I'm like shut up
He would like nudge me and like point it one of the kids. Yeah, it was really bad Yeah, literally what they're for the whole organization is against dude. I know is two bullies Yeah, I was not trying to bully. I was trying to raise money
If you didn't know that was coming you walked on the stage. Yeah, it's all a whole room They laughed they laughed at your jokes It was so bad It's a horrible thing, but I could see just being on get caught off guard by that is it would fuck I would yeah, yeah, only 24 years old like eight minutes that was good I couldn't say any of it up there how to go how the gig go overall Because we figured out a bit where Steve would talk and I would get behind him and do funny faces
And then he would turn around and I would freeze and that worked with the kids That's awesome and then I just devolved into me slipping on like fake things like there was like a napkin on the ground And I was like let me get that and I went and like tried to pick it up and slipped and fell down I guess it's a physical slapstick. We had to do something Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, Steve's action. It's better than what me and Tony did yeah, I told you I said this sucks
This sucks. Sorry. I shouldn't be up here. Yeah, I Just sing for a bunch of old Jewish ladies one time. I remember that Yeah, middle of the set they were just like I was doing stand-up at a podium in the back room of a diner And I was like you guys really just like this. What else you guys want like sing a song?
I was like you got a babe. Yeah, what you sing like L is for the way you look at me awesome Yeah, I would have gone with fly me to the moon Yeah, that was a I felt pretty guy left and I was like that was that bad Show me the greatest show You ever see the greatest show in the movie yeah, when the service words want to cut me down I will not cry the bearded lady would make you cry no she would it's like looking at a mirror bearded lady That baseball bro, I know yeah, I'll be defense you be lament
May you think you can put it through the fence Yeah, I think I can No, these balls are hitting the fence with a thought Unsatisfying yeah, you've been wrong about everything you've said you could do every single time We still got to play one-on-one people I heard you were talking smack it. You can beat me in people I think it beats you do well there you are. It's crazy. I Would go right at one step I'd be by you to the basket
That's what you think dude I got good lateral movement. What you have surprisingly good lateral movement. Yeah surprisingly good Not good Not like it's holy shit. I didn't think you could move It's not like wait, where did America go? You don't have anomalous move then I got enough to be defensive
It seemed defensive right? Oh These in the knees right now we haven't played any real basketball in that pool yet and I got to say that Same I told you I don't want that true They're both hyper competitive, but we would have a nice time and then after the game We would shake hands and say now we wouldn't yes, we lost would be a giant pussy about it No, you lost pig and you haven't got it out of your head
I did take me about 10 minutes to get over that but we still had a nice time. Well, what was this score? I was up. He was up. Yeah, got the P.I.G And the prove it that's not a big deal. Yeah, the unnecessary proof that you don't have to I was like I'm gonna prove it You never lies. Yeah, yeah, I mean you're a hyper competitive guy. So am I it's fun to get in there I mean we're just gonna fight
That'll feel good. All right. Yeah, I don't think it's gonna feel good you guys start fighting America just beam the fence with a baseball Yeah, I'm hitting a pot. You know, one day your neighbors look down into your house 60 mile an hour pitch I'm floating face down in the pool. Yeah, it's not gonna be good Fuck it would be like what was that movie? I can't gum gum me or gummo gummo. Yeah, your neighbor looks down. It's just a scene from gummo Yeah, movie was in belly
Yeah, that was a movie. Yeah, Max is watching on his projector in belly. Oh, wow. You're watching gummo with the kids the weird-ass kids Yeah, dude, no, I never saw it fucked up. You should watch it. It's haunting. It's terrifying Tell me I'm never gonna watch it. It's bleak stylized white trash. It's in like Zeno, Ohio
Yeah, the rust belt everything's gone. It's just these kids like eating spaghetti in a bathtub and trying to have fun I think at one point they like someone pays to have here's like a disabled sister He wants a guy have sex with his disabled sister for money. They're like selling cats to like a restaurant I believe exactly. I don't know what kind of restaurant when they do sell cats or restaurant. Yeah, forget what kind of then they They could be any Others the other time
movies it's a cool movie to watch, but it's it's fucked you watching here like Jesus Christ. Yeah, yeah, harmony was that harmony? What's his ass up to It's all in heat vision He made a thermal vision. Yeah, I mean a thermal vision space saga. Yeah, it's I Sounds like this guy is making shit for dickheads to watch a little bit. Yeah, he did spring breakers. Oh, okay
Yeah, he also wrote kids. Okay, and I thought kids was like a very important film to me And then what was that one moon dog or he did Julian donkey boy? So I'm a connolly yeah, yeah, movie was sick. He's bum rule. Beach bomb was sick It made me want to get drunk outside so bad. Yeah, he vision He vision sci-fi Oh the sun's out
He vision sci-fi could be a misstep. It was not good, but it's definitely a piece of art. I've sought it What I mean, do you ever hear about the sister the movie that no one will bankroll the watchowski sisters to make? No, it's called cobalt neural nine. What is it? It's a My story that happens like hundreds of years after earth But it's also like tethered to like a story of two gay soldiers in Afghanistan Wait, where what happens?
It's like a futuristic society that somehow it's like jumping back and forth between like a gay love story and like the Afghan Afghan American war and then like this future sci-fi thing And I don't know the stories really about just keep two gay soldiers guys fucking just jumping back and forth You're so funny because they want to like 20 million bucks in every studio is Chaskies no more you'd done
And just such a funny title cobalt neural nine. Yeah, I think there's more to it I'm probably not doing it justice, but it was probably it was just very funny if that's the elevator pitch I understand why it wasn't made Yeah, but no apparently the matrix obviously was a smash hit But they after every movie after the matrix. I don't think they ever pulled it off But the animated matrix they did was very sick. They did the animatrix. Yeah, Connor loves that show
That was pretty cool. That's how Connor's favorite thing. Yeah, I just heard about that recently. It's actually pretty sick But other than that like I think they just like worked on other people's movies. Yeah, I mean that you don't really have to do shit after the matrix You done did it. Yeah, you can have your ears. Yeah, I'm I hate it all the Dic and then copy your sister. Yeah, yeah Both of y'all that would have been me as the doctor. He'd also add to the y'all. Yeah, true
It adds a mistake though to the news shirt. The directors just fully went into the matrix themselves. Yeah, well What even is real? They unplugged Did they have P and I'll remove it surgery? I'm not sure. Okay. Yeah, I don't know I didn't know it was them. Yeah
For a while. Yeah, you know, I think Matt had told me 15 times Yes, that was something that for real blew my mind the first time I heard that I was like that is not true The people who do the matrix tend to not both become girls my brother was like look it up Yeah, I was like bro, you're fucking lying to me. Yeah, didn't happen. I googled it. I was like it got me on the H.P.O. I was searching and it was like great female directors. I was like
No way a lady wrote the matrix. Yeah Well, allegedly they stole that from a black woman Really comic book. It was very much the matrix and then they were able to turn into a film And this is all that could be the that could be the impetus for the trend. Yeah. Yeah, yeah Like we're on safe safe base. Yeah, come on base true. Can't touch us Oh, just another fucking example of hockey stand on black culture. Well, yeah, or the same thing is spacey being like
I can't be a petophile because I'm a homosexual. That was his defense. You know true. Oh sledding the same thing. I got bad news for you. Yeah Hey, that's a lot of them. They've been diagram All right, well, we'll just probably switch over. Yeah, no, it's on the patreon. Oh wait, let's follow this. Yeah. Yeah, it's on the patreon. Yeah