BIG FONT BOYS

A listener production.

It's time to get scrumptious with two sexy English muffins.

It sounds delicious and it's adorable.

It's Matt and Alex. All day breakfast.

Well, it's a little bit of Jurassic Park happening in real life. Alex Dyson As scientists have tried to bring back the woolly mammoth.

Oh, well, I've been thinking they'd do that for a long time. Because mammoths, they always fell into a bog, and they'd find these big old mammoths, skeletons or preserved mammoths in bogs places.

Well, the good thing about the mammoth is it's not quite. It's not. It's less likely to sort of scratch your face off a velociraptor. Yeah. So I kind of feel a little bit better about woolly mammoths. But anyways, they haven't successfully been able to, um, bring back the mammoth. But, um, the headline here says scientists trying to bring back the woolly mammoth have created a woolly mouse.

I mean, that's just a colloquialism waiting to happen, isn't it? Oh, he promised a mammoth and gave him a mouse.

Yeah, as soon as I. As soon as he pulled out the woolly mouse, we knew it was not going to work. Um, so anyways, the woolly mouse, I mean, it looks cute. It looks very cute.

Does it have tusks?

No, no, no. No tusks. Well, look.

What's the point of that?

Look, to be fair, it does have more hair than a normal mouse. It looks like it's been through a hair dryer. Do you know what I mean? Like it looks like it's crept into the tumble dryer overnight and had a few spins and then popped out like a cartoon.

To make a mouse quite woolly. Surely there are other non extinct animals with woolly hair you could just use on the mouse to give it that. Why do you need mammoth stuff now?

They want to genetically modify Asian elephants to give them woolly mammoth traits. But people are saying, um, you're not actually resurrecting anything. You're not bringing anything back from the past. You're just making a hairy elephant.

Oh, come on, people. They're the same people that go to magic shows and just go, um, that lady's not actually in half. The first person's legs are tucked up, and it's a different person in the bottom, right? Like, yeah, just enjoy the show, will ya?

You just get. Let the elephant get a wave. God damn it. You know what I mean?

Like, that's the same thing I want to tell you about today's episode of All Day Breakfast. Just enjoy the show, guys. You don't need to nitpick it. There'll be a few facts that are wrong. We'll say if you just enjoy the show.

Go up our sleeves. Okay? Don't ask to see behind our back. Just enjoy it. All right, well, let's get this magic show underway as we pull so much stuff out of our ass yet again.

It's it's gonna be a mammoth show. This one, it's going to be an absolutely mammoth show.

Let's get this show on the road.

Let's go. Here we go, here we go, here we go.

Well, metalkind plenty happening in America, as you can imagine. Just a breakneck pace of the the weird, weird and wonderful things going on. Some people horrified at what they're seeing, other people delighted. But wherever you stand, the uncompromising nature of the Trump with Elon presidency is, um, is going along. I still, I personally, I still don't know how we got an entire government department named after a Shiba Inu meme that will baffle historians.

I mean, look, hey, hey, you can say all these things, right? But I got to tell you right now, I. I refuse to say anything, all right anymore, I just refuse. Hey, have you ever been to Thailand, Alex Dyson?

I have been to Thailand. Wonderful place.

Have you ever. Have you ever asked a Thai taxi driver to talk about the King of Thailand?

Um. I've never inquired as to the Thai royalty? No. Why? What are they?

Did you not say much, my friend? They will.

Unlike you. When I get into taxis, I try to keep conflict to a minimum. Um. So I have not done that.

And I dare say they they they keep their lips sealed for safety.

Well, I'm not saying anything bad. I'm just reporting the uncompromising nature that is happening here, including the latest in the attempt to to turn around. What the what has been described as getting too woke, too politically correct. You know, we need to get rid of this kind of stuff

No.

This is the word gay anywhere near the military.

Map that is.

We cannot be having.

That is an onion story. I'm 1,000% sure of it.

Reading Newsweek, they're reporting images of Enola Gay. The aircraft that dropped an atomic bomb on Hiroshima and Japan are among those targeted by US military in an initiative to eliminate content related to diversity, equity and inclusion, aka dei. Now they're saying it could be a mistake. You know, it's in the file name, like gay is in like the file name of the photo. They're like, well, get rid of that. It's like people don't know what's the

So because it's also it's also flagging people whose names are gay as well.

Yep.

Oh my God.

So I, I thought that was quite interesting because it also just the names. It's not the first time it's happened. We had the the rumor that got spread that $500 million was going to Hamas in Gaza for condoms, um, which turned out to be incorrect. It stemmed because there was American aid programs looking to help lower the cases of HIV in Ethiopia, where there is a province called Gaza, and things got out of control. But there's zero tolerance. You see the name Gaza, you see the name gay,

This is a scoop. No one else has got this information.

It's a scoop. I'll let you know what's going on. Yes. After recent aircrash disasters were blamed on DEA, the FAA are now going to be handing out bottles of Clearasil to all pilots because they want to get rid of all blackheads. Um, in the aviation industry. Um, tariffs are going to be popped on the nation of Greece, uh, until they rename the Greek island of Lesbos. Um, uh, copies of Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka are going to be

Oh no.

Um yeah. It got slapped on the the premier of Victoria trying hard to negotiate um the increased prices on the light rail network in in Melbourne. They're trying to explain to America. No we've got lots of trams. Trams. We've got lots of trams people. And the Boxing Day test will no longer be shown on American television, just in case there's a Mexican wave. They do not want Americans seeing anything like that on their screens. So.

Well good luck.

Thank you America.

Good luck to the gutting of the departments. America. We've got to stay. Keep us pure.

Oops.

Well, Alex Dyson, I want you to picture yourself at a music festival. Okay.

Okay. Yep.

Now you're standing there. There's a bit of mud about because it's been raining, but it is absolutely heaving. The vibes are brilliant. Huge stage.

I'm carrying $48 worth of drinks. You know, the double parked in both hands, hand around the top of.

The vodka.

And the bottom of the top can. $12 each. Yeah. Just there. Yeah.

Um, you've got the singlet on. You've got the speed dealer sunnies. Life is great.

Crumb bag round the waist.

Yeah. Okay.

Like chapstick in there? Yeah.

And you were looking forward to three days of seeing the following bands. I'm just going to name some names. Denzel Curry. Carry. Amyl and the sniffers. Oh, the Scissor sisters.

Ooh, I do feel like the prodigy. Ah!

Snow patrol.

From the top rope.

Royel. Otis.

Yes! Love those boys.

Future islands.

Seasons, baby.

A bit of envogue, which I'm pretty sure did. What's it gonna be? Cause I can't pretend.

Well, they're not as on vogue as they used to be. That bad. But when that song comes out, I'm sure the crowd will be jumping.

Alanis Morissette.

Oh, please tell me she's playing Jagged Little Pill in full. Oh, what.

An album, mate. So, I mean, when you hear about that, if you if you got to see a music festival with that sort of lineup, would you be disappointed?

Um, look, I would have the time of my life. I would say Matt Okine.

Yeah, but the people who are planning to go to Glastonbury this year are the world's, you know, probably the world's most renowned, biggest music festivals alongside, you know, your coachellas. Um, people are angry. People are not happy.

Not happy campers.

Yeah. That's. Yeah, literally that's just some of the lineup. But it's actually the big guns that people are not happy about when it comes to Glastonbury.

I mean, you and I have been at the forefront of the quality of lineup debates for, for quite a while. It used to be our job to literally announce them to the world, then sit in front of a text line as people responded. Um, so we're not unused to people being disappointed with it. Um, Glastonbury, I guess, has quite a it's all about expectations, isn't it? So who are the big names that that they pulled that people are like, maybe not your finest home run here. Glasto.

Well okay, so, um, I'm going to tell you the three main headline acts. Uh, well, I guess the people, the the people that are kind of getting the biggest attention. And the biggest questions are.

Okay, so these are the people in the big font. The big font.

People. These are the very first names that come in each day.

Festivals live or die by the big font people.

Yeah. I mean, if you don't know this right, you win. Any agent or manager is like, um, you know, trying to negotiate the deal for a band the size of the font that your band will be, like mentioned in. I'm serious. It will absolutely be a make or break negotiating point, like, you will have your manager saying they want to give you this, they want to give you that, but you will only be in the third line in size, you know, 14 and the headliners are going to be.

In alphabetical order because some, some festivals do that. These egalitarians like, oh, they're all things like, no.

Well that's the thing.

Up to 72 font. Thank you.

So the biggest font on each day Friday Glastonbury is the 1975. Okay. Followed in the slightly smaller font by Loyle Carner, Biffy Clyro and Alanis Morissette. Okay. Busta Rhymes is in even smaller font below that. Right, right, right. All right, so the 1975 is part of the is part of the issue here. Now obviously 1975 having some

Well, that's that's the discussion, isn't it? It's has the chops or had the chops. Is Neil still going to give the performances with the music that people like? Just is it the legacy that puts him above Charli, even though Charli is just the biggest in the moment? You know.

Red hot right now? Well, the other thing is the other thing has happened on the Sunday where we've got Olivia Rodrigo headlining on the Sunday, followed by Rod Stewart. And again, this is this, this, this matching has pissed a lot of people off because I think people are saying, hey, you've missed it here.

Yes. Yes. Okay. Yeah. If you were doing it, Matt, would you put Rod Stewart as the sort of kitsch disco headliner with Olivia Rodrigo, you know, just beforehand. And then on the other night, have Charlie finishing the nights with the pop bangers and have kneeled beforehand, sort of with a lower mood because I've got to say, a big day out in Australia, it was probably 2012 or 13. Neil Young was on and headlining a stage and it's great music, but for me, I love listening to that

Take a look at my life. I'm a lot like you.

It's like it's not quite the the.

It's the 6 p.m. time slot, you know what I mean? But someone has pointed out, okay, Charli XCX currently has 32 million monthly listeners on Spotify, and the person billed after her, Daichi um, Daichi, Docchi has not 39 million monthly listeners. Okay, so both of those artists.

He's been smashing.

It. Yeah, she's she's absolutely been smashing it. So both of those artists, um, have got 32 and 39 million, whereas Neil Young has only 6 million listeners per month. Okay. So you got to ask, are the Neil Young fans going to be turning out for this? Um, I don't know. I don't know, but overall, you know, in a personal thing, I get the appeal of, of the whole lineup. But I also I also it feels a little bit like.

Yeah.

There's no one person that is like.

Well.

You know, really taking it here.

Well, how about we think about it this way? Matt Okine. Um, someone is organizing a podcast festival. All right. You're doing your Saturday night headliners. Okay. Is Matt and Alex on Saturday night? The Neil Young of podcast festival headliners.

In.

Which.

We are, the more we are the plus many more.

All day breakfast.

Cooking goose down there.

Mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo mo.

Well, Matt, it's absolutely compulsory. We talk about this story given a couple of years ago, you and I made bank after following a trend where a chicken nugget in the shape of an Among Us character sold for tens of thousands of dollars, we we hit the market with our chicken nuggets that looked everything from, like the map of the continental United States of America, or the head from the Rick and Morty episode that says, show us

I just don't think about it enough. Because if I just saw, you know, a chip that looked like Abraham Lincoln, I would just eat it. Yeah, you know what I mean? I'd be like this. Oh, look at that. That looks like Abraham Lincoln. And then I'd pop it straight into my mouth, not realizing that I could have sell that chip for literally tens of thousands of dollars, much like

We've known Charizard has a lot of value, Matt. Ever since we traded a Charizard Pokemon card for a Mazda 626. Um, but we did.

We did do that.

The Pokemon fans came out for the auction. It was a golden auction house in New York, and it described the item as a three inch long Flamin Hot Cheeto in the shape of the Pokemon Charizard, affixed to a customized Pokemon card and encapsulated in a clear card storage box. Now, I think this did increase the value a little bit. You don't just get a raw chip, okay?

A raw no, no one just walks over it, reaches into a packet and then, you know, puts you it says put your hand out. And then you have to just take home a chip in your hand that's worth $87,000. It was very well protected.

So cleverly, the person selling the hot Charizard Cheeto came up with a card that surrounds it that says Cheeto. Zade gave it 120 hit points. Put it in this box. It's marketing 101. You don't sell the steak, you sell the sizzle. And they have absolutely flamed this one up into a talking point and have made bank off it.

There were 60 bidders. Um, you know, you can see the bid history. It took approximately two weeks, starting at $250. Right at 11 a.m. on February the 11th. And it just went up slowly, slowly, slowly, suddenly, a week, ten days later, it's $2,000, then another ten days later, it's 10,000. And then once you hit, once, people start bidding in the tens of thousands. Yeah, it just went up and up and up. The winning bid was $72,000, but they also have to pay a buyer's premium as well. Um,

Put it on a shelf. They're just going to put it on a shelf, and people will walk in and go check this out and have a look at it. So the Cheetos are and they'll go huh. Pretty cool. That's it.

I mean, don't charizard's, like, burn things because that has certainly burnt through someone's well-earned cash very, very quickly.

It is a good reminder to keep your eyes on your nugs. Cheetos. Chippies. Um, toast. Any sort of processed food. The toast. Oh, Jesus. And a cheese sandwich. I tell you what, that that was a big. That was one of the first original food looking like something. Sales. So just keep stay vigilant, keep your eyes peeled, and hopefully you'll be in for a big windfall very soon. Hey, we've got to wrap this bad boy up. Thank you so much for hanging out with us today on all day Breakfast.

And if you happen to see any crazy characters or faces in your food over the next, you know, day or two, send it to us at Matt and Alex, we desperately want to receive these.

And we will catch you for another large episode of Matt and Alex tomorrow.

Bye bye.

That's it. The all day breakfast kitchen is closed. Got something to add to the show? Slide into our DMs at Matt and Alex.