11. Dating &Medical Marijuana

Hi. This is Married to PTSD. And this is Evie. And this is Chantel. And we're back. We're back. Okay. So we know that we're setting these we're gonna post these pretty close together because we missed last week. So we don't want you guys to have to Ha like we need we know you need your fix. Yeah. So we don't want you like in the corner rocking like an infetal position because you need your fix. We're giving it to ya. We're giving it to you. Okay, so we have two emails to read today.

Um, we're gonna start with I think her name is Um Brittany. Is it? We're gonna call her Britney. We're gonna call her Britney. Yes, it's Perfect, we got it! All right, here we go. Okay, it says hi Evie and Chantel. My story's a little different, so I want your input and your or your advice. I'm not married to a combat veteran. I am, however, dating one and have been for about eight months. Our story is a bit complicated, so I will try to make it short.

He and I went to high school together and never dated, we're only friends. Uh, right? I was Yep, that's you. Yep. Except for it took the Marines to be like, Yes, I'll date him and um he mar we mar he married and moved away shortly after and then joined the army. Last year he divorced and moved back to our hometown. And a few months later I divorced and shortly after we re reconnected and have begun a serious relationship.

His backstory as a veteran, he was in the Army for twelve years as a scout, four long deployments that have forever changed him. However, I wasn't around during this time. Since our time together he has gotten a service dog. I've never seen the terrible side to his PTSD. Only once has it really raised its ugly head. He still has a lot of anxiety issues in listening to your podcast.

And a few others, I see some of the issues as far as arguments, the need to always be right, emotional shutdown, and recently changes in our sexual relationships. I have fallen madly in love with him and I am really excited about our future. Any advice or suggestion would be most welcome. Brittany.

So that's a hard one. Um, only because like I said earlier, like our last podcast, I don't know, like if I were to meet Josh now. Yeah. And we obviously didn't have kids'cause I'd just meet'em now. I don't know if I'd be able to be with him. Okay, well I'm in an opposite boat. Yeah. I ha I'm I am very much like your story. I've known um mine since kindergarten.

And I was not with him through his deployments. Right. Um, I was with him after his deployments, not long after, but after. And uh I could see the red flags like you're seeing even when we were dating. Um he didn't have a service dog or anything like that. I mean he didn't even know he really had it. 'Cause like we said, it I mean it takes a little bit. Right. For some sometimes, not in all situations.

Um, I it sounds like though, once again, like previous uh the last podcast, it seems like he's trying to get help. I mean he's if the service dog is a huge step in my book because my husband has a service dog. And that just puts it out to the world. Like you can no longer hide it going into public because people say, What is that service? What do you have a service talk for?

You know, what services it provides? Oh, it's for my PTSD. Oh, does he say that? If somebody does, he doesn't have a problem with it. Or does nobody do people ask him, I guess. Um people ask. But like sometimes restaurants and stuff will be like, Is that a service talk? Yes. What service does it provide? And we tell them. Yeah. Because they can ask that. Can they? I thought they can. No, they can't.

And really if it's a true service dog, we shouldn't mind answering it. It's the, you know, I bought my best off Amazon kind of dog. The people that get sketchy and rude about it, it might not be one. Um but it has worked wonders so I'm I'm assuming Which I mean was a miracle for us'cause that's the only reason I even asked you anything about your head. Right. Then I was like, Well, I'm tr starting this podcast. Um but Brittany, man, advice for that.

Um just figuring out triggers and strategies to coping skills. And I know we've said it many times, but like compartmentalizing the two different people that he can be. Yeah. And you rebound from the arguments. Right. And don't take things to heart when he's in his anxiety anger reduced stages maybe. Mm-hmm. It's har I mean you can't you can't take those things to heart and make those things be truth because it's

Just their frustration. And it's so easy to sit here and say that because there are to this day I carry some of the words that he said to me years ago. that are just etched in my brain. Yeah. They won't go away. I can hide'em deep back in the in the back. Until something like triggers it or Or not even trigger them. I'm just like I will always remember those Certain words that triggered me and um but I can live with it. Yeah. Um yeah there's

I like I remember like a specific conversation that we had where I was just done. Um, but now if I think of those words it just kinda makes me giggle'cause I'm like then I think like I'm thankful for those words because that was the reason that I was able to make him have an ultimatum of, you know, medicine or talking to somebody. And if we wouldn't have had that fight, I don't know if I would have had that courage to say I was gonna leave. Right.

Uh yeah, I was definitely deep into marriage when I realized I was not dealing with the average marriage problems. Yeah. Does that make sense? Like, oh my problems aren't like my friend's problems. And we had very much the average marriage problems before last two deployments. Yeah. So I mean, I knew the difference between what we had and then what it was now.

So that could be different as well. Yeah. Uh y uh yeah, completely. And so Brittany right now, obviously she only knows this mm man side of'em.'Cause before, you know, when they were into high school, he was a child. Right. So things I mean obviously is gonna be. So, I mean, it's kind of luckier, I guess, in a way, because I mean you totally know what you're doing. You only know the side of him, yeah. Yeah. That is true.

romance and dates and he tried to woo me and now he's like but also we've been married for sixteen years and we have four kids so there's he's like Do you want me to put your ice cream bowl in the sink? Yeah, you got me. Let's go. Let's go have sexy time now. Oh gee. That's all it takes. That's all it takes anymore. Ice cream bowls. Ice cream bowls. Um No, I would just say hang in there. Um

you know, I w I would try to be as open. I think if he's gonna be open with you, you can try to be open with him. But man. Yeah, I agree. Go and tell like strategies, figure out what's when these episodes are happening. Mm-hmm. Um why and how how you can I think yeah, I think you guys are open and you're able to talk about it and you guys are adults now, so you guys should be able to just be able to

laid out all on the table. Hopefully. Hopefully. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, let's move on to the next one. So

Guess what we got, Evie? I was very excited. We got a dude. A dude messaged us. This is our first dude. And not only it's not he's not even a spouse of a soldier. He is A combat veteran. Combat veteran. With PTSD. With PTSD. So I was like, Oh, okay, here we go.

So Evie's gonna read it. Okay. It says I love the podcast. It definitely puts things into perspective as a veteran with PTSD. Okay, so I'm not sure if he's combat veteran, but he's a veteran with PTSD. My wife and I ha been through a ton, but I love her more for staying with me. I know it's not an easy thing and she knows it's not easy. One thing that has helped me is the fact that I have turned to medical cannabis.

And that honestly has made me a completely different person, more relaxed, not letting things get to me as much. I know it's not an option for most guys, but I am one hundred percent S C vet. I had two combat deployments, one to Afghanistan in 04 and then Fallujah in 05. I was Marine Infantry as well. I actually spend

uh my time trying to help my brothers and sisters in arms with issues through a veteran group here in the greater Pittsburgh region. I stumbled um onto the podcast and can't stop listening. That's awesome. That is awesome. So I can totally relate. Uh my husband's a Marine, uh not M3, but Marine and um his I don't disclose a lot of information about him. I just don't. He's a very private person. But he was Afghan he was a deployment of Afghanistan and Fallujah, both. Uh rough spot.

I'm gonna say like nine days after um nine eleven. Oh really? Yeah. Um and Uh, just the fact that you are able to share, I guess, um, that you do the medical cannabis, so medical marijuana. Uh not legal in our I mean it is medical marijuana is legal in our state, just not for the veterans. Oh, real what if they had a card? What do you mean? Can they not get a card?

I have no idea how I don't think so. I think if that's a federal law or something like that. And my husband's a cop, so obviously he can't be using it. And he is the school's um security officer. Yeah. Resource officer. So that'd be a big no. Um but oh one thing we do wanna I do wanna say though, um

Gary literally just started the podcast yesterday and it's called Not Your Normal Gary and his is more towards helping the actual veteran. Yeah. Um so it'd be cool if you guys want to go over to his podcast and you guys can see what he has to say. Um and I know he said that his wife is gonna start listening today on his her way to work, so hopefully she loves it too. Yeah. Um

But the medical marijuana. Yeah, we have uh a lot of friends'cause um just through being a Marine and stuff you have guys that live in different states. And so we have two really good friends that

This is what they do. Instead of taking medication, like one of our friends was like on forty pills and he's now on like ten that he only has to have. And he does the medical marijuana. life changer. Like uh I guess there's like different strands out there that can help you with the with just your mood or anxiety or help you sleep.

Um, and I know back in the day in high school this is gonna show my age, you had to smoke it. Now you don't have to infect your lungs. Like I you can put it in candy bars and gummies and things like that. So, um I do know this is helping a lot of soldiers. If you're State allows it or if I'm not sure every veteran it's uh it

Every veteran has access to this because of certain laws. Okay, so here's what I found. I just Googled this really quick and this says a number of veteran groups are working to get medical marijuana approved as a treatment for PTSD. Then it says the Department of Veteran Affairs still refused to provide marijuana to veterans because it's still listed as a Schedule I drug.

Veteran groups want to get that designate uh designation changed and have more research done on the benefits of medical So I mean obviously it's I mean, it's definitely a possibility in our lifespan. Um everything's changing so fast with the times. I'm just gonna tell you, like I because I'm friends with their wives. I mean, this is just a game changer because some of the side effects to the medication that they're giving for PTSD to the our veterans is

anger issues and and mood and irritability. And I'm like, that's what I'm fighting at home. And so they stopped those and went to this.

And they're mellow and they can function. And if you think about what the VA does provide though, I mean there's opiates and antidepressants. No, they have no opiates anymore. They don't? Mm mm. Alright. And sleeping pills. I mean there's just like a cocktail of different things that they do. Yes. And I don't know, I just kinda guess I don't really see the downside between medical marijuana. Which I don't know anything about. Like I don't know anything like it's just never been something that

we have talked about doing I'm a huge supporter of it just because I've seen first hand through our friends the changes that it's made. Well'cause I'm sure like with the prescription drugs too you're more of a zombie. Right. And that's just like It's just not the kind of person you wanna be married to, I guess. I mean like somebody that went from forty pills to ten, I'm like that's huge. Right. Yeah. And he's not cranky.

There's some he has to have just because of like life saving. Like he has to have things to live when he's got some medical issues. Yeah. So those will never snap just a little bit. on top of like all he was on sleeping pills and um whatever they were trying to throw at him for his PTSD and then um anxiety and all this and

He switched over to that and he could r he reduced thirty thirty pills. I'm not even making this up. That's how much they'll stack on you if you let them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think so I think that um So as I'm just like kind of like skimming this over, it just looks like it's just something that they're gonna start researching more of and a lot of studies are kind of being gone through right now just to kind See the different pros and cons. I think it would completely benefit

our combat veterans. I mean, I'm just speaking for them. It probably benefit a ton of people but yeah. Right now they're not allowed to have it. They need I think it should be a choice for them.

Especially if you're not wanting all these horrible side effects that all of these pills are giving them. So do you think it's something that the VA should provide. Like a either a card or actually like you can go to the um pharmacy at the VA and pick it up. I don't know if they could ever like I don't know. I think it's like a certain place that you have to get it from or something. Dispensary or something. Dispensary, yeah. But

Either way, e if they're not providing it, they should still be allowed. Yeah. I guess I don't really understand like how they can stop them though, if it is legal in that state. I don't know. I'm gonna Google this one. We're gonna look into this more. Uh'cause I feel like strongly about it. So

We're definitely not well versed in this. We're bringing this back up. This is getting brought back up. This is part one. If you feel strongly or no more facts than we do, please email us. Gary, if you have more, give us a message. Married to PTSD at yahoo.com. Yeah. Um I really have nothing else to talk about though on this topic until we look it up more. Yeah, I wanna be a little more educated. Yeah.

Perfect. Well we appreciate it, Brittany, for your message. And if you have more to discuss, please message us and let us know. Um and sorry we didn't re I didn't respond to your email, but we got to it, we read it, so anybody else, just let us know if you guys have Questions or Do you want us to read your story? Because otherwise it's just gonna be the two of us.

Rambling. Talking about the weather. And it's eighteen degrees and it's ridiculous. Your stories are helping. Just they are helping helping other people not feel so alone. So please, even if you think oh no one wants to hear my story, yes we do. We do. I do. So married to PTSD