¶ Is Your Marriage on the Edge?
Is your marriage on the edge , is your marriage on the brink of just being finished , just being done , saying you know what ? I quit , I'm done . He's never going to change . She's never going to change . It's through . There's no hope . All hope is lost . We've messed up too much . He's too jacked up . She's too selfish . Are you at that point in time ?
Because if you are , this is the episode that you need to be listening to .
Here's a question for you Is marriage overrated ? Why aren't people getting married anymore ? You is marriage overrated . Why aren't people getting married anymore ?
a new pew research poll found that two and five young adults think marriage is an outdated tradition . Marriage rates are at their lowest right now . Is marriage really even worth it ?
more than half of marriages end in divorce if you get married , you have to be stuck with this person for the rest of your life , right ? That's why you get married , so that's why it declining . Why would you get married if you don't ? If you want to have just one partner when you can have multiple Marriage is stupid .
Welcome to the Married AF podcast , the self-proclaimed greatest marriage and relationship podcast in the world . We're your hosts , matthew and Monica Powers , and before we really get started into things , I've got to thank every single person who is listening , who is liking , who is subscribing , who is a part of this .
You may not know this and we're not going to go through it all because we don't have the time to do it , but we want to thank everybody because we are approaching 250,000 downloads of the Married AF podcast , so we want to thank .
I was literally logging in to see that .
We want to thank all of the people who are listening , who are liking , who are subscribing . Over the next few weeks we are probably going to get to that , mark , and thank you , thank you , thank you , thank you , thank you for continuing to listen to us through all of that .
That's also the most unbelievable thing , and we thought we jacked up the algorithm somehow , but for whatever reason , if you search relationship experts on apple podcasts , it is you and I who pop up number one at the very top , which is just that not mind-blowing it still doesn't make sense it doesn't make sense . we are by no means .
I want to let everyone know that now we are not experts .
We don't claim to be experts , not even close .
We are just living the life God has called us the very best we can . We screw it up more than we get it right , but because he is graceful , shows us so much grace and mercy , he does things that are unbelievable . So I just wanted to say a huge thank you to everybody who is out there , who is listening .
Still , some reason , somehow I don't understand it .
Yes .
But we're here .
If anybody doesn't understand it , it's absolutely me .
It's absolutely us , but a huge thank you to everyone who is listening to us . It is absolutely incredible and unbelievable . So let me ask this question to you , baby , and this is mostly for every single person who is out there listening .
Okay .
Not necessarily for us . I'm gonna go ahead and preface that for you right now .
But Whoa , while I'm looking at the numbers that you're trying to spit out here , Okay . I always say , like our top 10 cities One , two , three , four , 5 , 6 , 7 . Wait , I'm so excited to say this , I'm going to mess this up . 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 9 , 10 . Yeah , we have three new cities in the top 10 .
What you got .
Houston , Texas .
All right , Houston Astros people . Yeah , it's okay .
Seattle Washington .
Mariners fans . Okay , I like the Mariners Great pitching , horrible offense and .
I love where you're going with this , because our number 10 and new to the married AF top 10 is Boston .
Massachusetts . Yes , let's go . Red Sox this is the moment the Boston Red Sox turn it around , because us and the Red Sox are together , yeah , and we're going to be in Boston for practically the entire month of July it's un-freaking-believable . Good job , boston red socks . I love that .
So if you're listening in boston , seattle , houston , wherever you are , thank you so much for listening to la is still holding strong at number one and new york at number two well , I love , I love that as well , but boston west coast .
We were just it's freaking incredible .
So the question for everybody to ask yourself Okay , what are we talking ? about Telling you here's the question for people to answer and ask themselves Is your marriage on the edge , is your marriage on the brink of just being finished , just being done , saying you know what ? I quit , I'm done . He's never going to change . She's never going to change .
It's through . There's no hope . All hope is lost . We've messed up too much . He's too jacked up . She's too selfish . Are you at that point in time ? Because if you are , this is the episode that you need to be listening to .
I'm sorry I heard nothing after you said on the edge , because every song that has edge in it just flashed through my brain . I heard nothing else that you said .
If your marriage is falling apart , this is for you , because I am convinced .
Okay , why are you convinced ?
Marriages are under attack from the enemy more than anything else in the world right now . I firmly believe marriages are more under attack than anything else .
Why do you believe that the enemy is attacking the family . Well , yes .
And I see it every single week . I see prayer requests from our church , but I hear it . I see articles , I just I see it everywhere we go . Marriages are absolutely falling apart and under attack . They're getting absolutely killed and the enemy is beginning to win in that category . So today we want to talk through some of these , we'll say , hidden dangers .
They're not so hidden , but they're probably hidden to us because we're so blind to the things that are going on in our lives .
And it is destroying marriages , because let's paint the picture of what marriage is always thought to be of Okay , A lot of people think marriages and we think the hallmark love story and it's just , it's fine , we , when you say that , because most .
This is not you , this is not me , this is not some people , but a lot of people define what marriage should be and believe what marriage should be . Is that picture perfect love story happily ever after , her prince charming his princess . Everything falls into place , it's all perfect . And I always think the hallmark movies and they're all the same .
They don't change at all , but obviously it's working because they're still making something's doing something right
¶ The Reality of Modern Marriage Challenges
but they're filled with this idea of just absolute perfection , and it's always easy , and it's always lovey-dovey and it's always perfect , and it doesn't take long for us to be able to see that that's not the case . And when people have that thought process and that mentality , it does not take long for people to say , oh my gosh , what have I done ?
It's all falling apart . It's not what I saw in the movies . It's not all perfection , it's ending . It's over marriages . Why do we under attack .
Why do we ? I feel like we want that , and that is why these movies are made , in a sense , because that's what people want . They badly want it , but maybe , when they get it , they might have it at the beginning , but then they become attacked and that's what maybe puts them on the edge , absolutely .
And then when ?
you see these movies , you're just like well , I was this , it was all this way , and then all of a sudden , no , it wasn't an all of a sudden .
Well , and that's that's kind of what cause .
All right , no one no one on their wedding day or no one when they're thinking about marriage is thinking I can't wait for this to fall apart , like I cannot wait to get married and have a kid and then have another kid and in five or six years we're divorced and we're doing separate Christmases and different families and we're going through custody battles .
No one is looking towards that . No one's thinking about that , it's all .
That's never anybody's end goal .
It's always a great outlook , which it should be a great outlook , and it can definitely be everything that you ever wanted , but it takes a little bit of effort into it and it's . You know , the movies don't show him .
You don't think about what happens when he loses his job , what happens when someone dies in the family , what happens when my wife gets sick and what happens when he goes through cancer treatment . No one thinks about the difficulty of what happens in that and a lot of it boils down to the selfishness that we have throughout it all .
So when we talk about marriage being on the edge , if it's almost over , my hope is that , if that's you , that this is more than just a wake-up call , that this is an action plan of okay . I recognize that I'm there , I recognize that a relationship was there . Here's some things that can be seen and ways that we can work through that .
And I would say to anyone if you know someone who's going through this , send them this episode , okay , because this is going to be one that I think can start to change things .
Now , as we walk through this , there's three major keys , especially in the culture in the world that we live today , that I really want to walk through those three things in particular , and the first being this idea of infidelity . And now the digital age , and I'm talking internet , social media , the whole technological side of what we're seeing as cheating .
Here's a stat for you . Please explain this 59.6% of divorces cite infidelity as the major reason I see that 31 percent of marriages survive an affair which is very rare very , very rare 20 of men and 23 of women have admitted to cheating .
Here's the biggest side of that of the 59.6% of divorces citing infidelity , 83% of those started through some sort of relationship through social media .
Interesting .
Social media and it is now being called micro-cheating . Let me explain Because it starts there . It starts so small . It starts with that flirty little direct message to somebody . It starts with him liking that girl's picture there it is it starts .
I've talked to you about this before it starts with that comment and that other comment , and then the comments back and forth , and then liking the photos and liking this , and it starts there and what is typically seen as innocent turns into something very , very quickly .
See , I don't ever see it as innocent .
I don't either .
And I've told you that because sometimes I mean it makes me just , it grosses me out to even see that you're liking the opposite sex . Now you can like their pictures or whatever .
There's a difference .
There's a certain type of picture , whatever .
There's a difference , but there's a certain type of picture .
If she's on the beach and maybe showing more leg and some toes and you like that picture , but you didn't like the one where she was at church .
Or maybe the family picture . Or the one with the kids the one with her husband , something like that , and those little things .
That's a bit of a red flag for me .
And I totally agree with you , Completely agree with you , because and again , I think that can be seen as innocent , but ultimately this all stems from well , I'm not getting the the attention that I want at home .
I'm not getting the attention that I desire at home , and it's so easy to just pick up this thing and just start scrolling and go over and over and , before you know it , you're spending more time on this which , let's be real , Everyone they do social media on their phones . Very few people are doing it through their computers or anything else .
They're doing it through their phones and it's just so easy to . Oh , she's cute . Oh , my wife doesn't look like that . My wife doesn't take care of herself like she does . So , ooh , I like that picture . Comparison Comparison , comparison is what the thief of joy Every single time . So this idea of infidelity in the digital age , it is real , it is happening .
So what are some ways to be able to spot this ?
Yeah , that's a good question .
Number one for you and I , and we see this and we talked to our son about this with his phone . It's with the phones , when they begin to have these things and they are , you know they're not going to let you look at it . They're looking at messages like this and this is a big one when they take it and it's face down all the time .
I know my it stays and our son does that and I a lot , I think it's just , he did that at school . He did that at school . Cause so many people do this .
And .
I understand that some people will set it down this way for it not to be a distraction . There's these amazing things called Do Not Disturbs that you can put a phone on . You can have all sorts of different settings Mine , I've got to go in and fix it .
It has a personal setting that anytime I enter this house it goes into a personal setting where really the only people who can reach me are you .
Your favorites .
And the kids , and that's it , and you're usually here with me . You don and the kids and that's it and you're usually here with me , so you don't have your mama on that . Mom and dad are on there . Yes , mom and dad are definitely . There's very few people who are on this , but it goes in as soon as I enter the garage .
It's personal mode because it knows where I am and nothing can come .
Nothing can come through where you are it knows , everywhere I'm in .
You definitely need to fix , but I get that if you're in a meeting or you're you're having lunch with somebody and you don't want to be a distract , you can do that .
I can kind of understand that Do not disturb right now .
Same type of thing . Because we're recording when you're at home , when you're with your spouse at dinner , and you do that , you turn it over that for me and for you , that is a huge red flag . If you notice that your spouse cannot leave the room , cannot be more than a foot away from their phone at all time , that may raise some concern .
If you can't get into their phone .
No , that's even a big one If you don't know their passcode or your face ID has been removed or they've changed it and haven't told you about it . Those are just red flags , not saying that dead set . Yeah , absolutely something's going on there , but that is a major , major red flag that there may be something going on with that .
Another way to spot this whole indefidelity but hold on .
The reason why that's
¶ Digital Infidelity: The New Threat
a red flag is because obviously you've got something to hide .
Totally agree .
Because my phone's up like this , even at school on the desk All the time . Most of the time the kids take my phone to take pictures of whatever . Usually they'll do some selfie with me in the background at the desk or doing something .
¶ [Ad] The Brief
Yeah , and when it comes to my phone , there is and I love this about our phones and us and our relationship . There is nothing on there that I would not want you to see . But , most importantly , there is nothing on my phone that our kids should not see , nothing at all .
They could scroll through every little piece of my phone and it's all going to be perfectly fine .
And we've even gotten it such a foolproof thing . If we are on social media for any length of time to just kill time , and something pops up that we instantly deem inappropriate , that's an easy unfollow .
Oh , easy , easy unfollow . And I had to do that with WWE .
¶ (Cont.) Digital Infidelity: The New Threat
I had to stop because , crap . I'd follow him on instagram and next thing I know it's nothing but girls in underwear .
I'm like nope , get rid of this , get rid of this algorithm because of they've triggered that to men , ages this to that and of course , you fall into that . So if our son had one , he would fall into that and that would be all he would see it would be very easy not .
It's hard for a married couple not to look at stuff like that because of the algorithm crap and that's that was kind of my next point with the dangers and social media and then the digital age with infidelity .
Is your social media and what you're looking at and who you follow , because it's going to feed you so much crap if you are not careful and it's easy to start to like stuff and hit this and hit that and then , before you know it , you're thinking , oh my gosh , my wife shouldn't see this .
And then we start to turn and we start to hide that just a little bit .
It makes me think of today's message at church . Is your eternity worth it ? Is what you're doing right now worth not spending eternity in heaven ?
Is it worth your soul ? Yeah , is it ? And the answer for all of it is , every single time , absolutely not . It is never , ever , ever worth it . So that's one thing in your marriage , with the digital age , that we're in A huge thing , something to spot . How secret are they with their phones ? Passwords , logins , all that ? I mean .
It should be an open book with your spouse .
Like when we both decided hardcore . We're changing our lives , we are going to be followers . I even changed my phone number .
Yes , you did .
Because the people that had my number I didn't want they would be . It would be the biggest temptation , it would be a major distraction and I knew if I got any kind of phone call or text from any of that BC life that would just be a red flag for you going wait .
Hold up . I thought we were totally . And here's the thing when you talk about temptation , you're not strong enough . I'm not strong enough . Nobody listening is strong enough to deny it on their own . You may think you are at first , but eventually temptation is going to get the best of you . It absolutely is so when it comes to the digital age .
Those are some huge things . How to prevent this . You need and we kind of talked about this set clear boundaries when it comes to your technology . Clear boundaries , the passwords , the site blockers , if you need to have accountability partners , allow other people to be able to log into your social media stuff and have access to it .
That is going to keep you accountable and set very , very healthy boundaries . One other thing is is there anything that we aren't saying out loud ? Are we keeping something hidden , especially on the social media side ? Are we keeping something quiet that we don't want to talk about out loud ?
Is there something that we saw that may be really really good , maybe really entertaining , but because of maybe the source in which it came from , we're afraid to share that with our spouse for any reason whatsoever , because what path it may lead down ?
Like , if there's a funny video , am I going to share that with my spouse , but it may have come from this account which shows this from now on every now and again , and I don't want my spouse to see , to see this , because you know he may get really mad that I'm following this guy . That's about this , just those types of little things .
And if we start to hide that stuff , can I share this with my spouse ? Easiest answer if it's a yes , absolutely , and you should share those things with absolutely social media is a part of our lives , whether we like it or not .
well , I I've even told our children it's not that I don't have accountability , people , because I do . But if I'm going to post something or do a story or video , whatever it may be , I always say to myself is Gigi going to approve of this ? Because if Marsha's going to be mad about this , I'm not going to do this . I feel like , okay .
So for people that don't know , that's my mother-in-law . So if my mother-in-law would be really ticked off because I'm posting something like a half-naked picture of myself , is she going to be embarrassed of that ? If she is , I Is she going to be embarrassed of that ? If she is , I'm not going to do it .
But you also have to think about the children , because you might put it on your story or you might put it on your snap and you think it goes away . It doesn't trust me and sorry for all you police detectives out there that don't want this information out , but they can go back and get all the stuff .
Yeah .
We know that it's happened .
It does not disappear forever . It does not , it simply does not .
So if you're going to be embarrassed in 20 years that your kids saw you like this Mom , you were doing that . Oh my God . God , that's disgusting . That's why I always said our children would never know that I did wrestling , because , yeah , most of the time you don't wear much no , women .
Women don't wear a ton in that I try to be as conservative as possible , but when you're just blessed in certain areas , it's kind of hard to hide things not a whole lot you can do about that baby . You just table men and hope for the best it's all you can do in that situation but that's .
That's what you have to think of are are you going to be embarrassed because your mother-in-law saw it ? And it doesn't matter if you like your mother-in-law or not . I don't like my mother-in-law at all . I love her immensely , like , passionately , love her to death .
And if I'm going to remotely come an ounce close to embarrassing her or making her mad , nope , not happening .
Not worth it ? Nope , not worth it . I think that's the biggest question to ask , as we kind of wrap up the digital side of it is is it actually worth it ? Never worth it Not going to be worth it . The second big thing that we see now , especially in the climate that we see today , is the financial struggle that we see within couples .
This has always been a huge struggle in marriage . It's always money , it's always finances , um , having different ideas of money and different spending habits . And you know , one controls the money , one doesn't , and there's a there's a power imbalance whenever it comes to that .
That's a huge thing , but especially today , as we go back to social media and we see everyone's perfect lives , we feel like we have to keep up with the Joneses and none of us know who the Joneses are . The Joneses don't hang out with us . The Joneses don't come over for dinner .
You don't text with the Joneses , so why do we continue to try and keep up with the Joneses ?
Sorry if your last name is Jones .
Yeah ,
¶ Financial Struggles in Relationships
you get what I'm saying . We know some Joneses , but we're not trying to keep up with everybody , and the stress of financial instability is crushing for couples and here's some signs to be able to see that . Are they hiding receipts , hiding credit cards ? have a credit card that my spouse doesn't know about have a secret bank account .
How often is that happening ? If you are this person and you're hiding the receipts , you're hiding spending , you have a secret credit card , you have a secret bank account . It is only a matter of time before this goes sideways , and goes sideways fast .
Because what's going to happen when they find out ?
They're going to want to know all about it .
And why ?
And why Exactly why ?
Why .
This is a huge red flag and your spouse may not know about it yet . They will find out . It's going to happen . Are you hiding that from them ? The only ?
secrets that you need to keep from each other are presents .
That's it , and we suck at that so bad .
I don't know . I have a really incredible present coming away for father's day .
Oh boy .
Actually three .
Oh my God , what have you done ?
And our children know .
I'm gonna have to get after the children just a little bit . So couples who argue about money more than once a week here's a stat are 30% more likely to get divorced if you're arguing about money at least once a week . So if money is an issue , you really need to be able to grab a hold of that . You need to be able to have the conversations about it .
If you're recurring fights over your spending and what you're buying and you are hiding receipts and there's resentment towards unequal roles when it comes to finances , that's something that he controls all the money . Or the men used to think well , I make the money , I handle the money . There needs to be a balance there .
Now , in our situation , you handle all the money whenever it comes to the how to our finances and everything , but you're not hiding any of it If I wanted to see anything you have all the passwords .
I don't have a clue what they are .
But if I wanted to see faces on all of them , well , that is true , I could .
I probably don't even know how to get into all the ones , but if I wanted to , it'd be like , yeah , baby , let let's , let's take a look at all of it and you'll keep me updated like , hey , we're doing this , we're doing this , we're doing this , I'm doing this , I'm doing that , which is perfect and great , and I love that I haven't even told you stop using
this stupid card don't use this one , stop it stop it okay , done , not worth it understand , uh , but you need to be able to have that type of relationship when it comes to your money . Same thing with our phones . If , if we're hiding it . It's a terrible , terrible thing , and this is something that's leading to a lot of divorce , just like the infidelity .
So you're saying in the power thing that one is maybe the bigger spender .
Yes .
And wants to control the money , and if the other didn't control the money they probably would't have , would have less than they already do .
I think that's definitely one scenario .
I think probably a bigger scenario is the one who makes the more , most more money in the relationship , probably thinks they should control it because they earn more and they think they have more power and they're more entitled to be able to control the money because , well , I bring more in , so I should be able to control and have a say in every little thing
that we do . And I don't think that's the case at all , because here's the thing when you are married , it is not his money , it is not her money , it is our money period . I don't care if he is making $10 million a year and she is making $10 a year . It is your money together . It doesn't matter if it's equal , if it's 99 to 1 .
It is your money and it's yours to spend together your debt is Her debt and his debt .
It's all one thing . I don't care how many student loans one might have more than the other .
Doesn't matter .
It doesn't matter .
It's yours together and you battle that together Together , totally . So what do you do with this ? For some , a lot would be create a shared budget , get together on the finances , have a meeting . I know that sounds awful in a marriage . We don't want to have a meeting .
Have a meeting about your budget , about your finances , about what you're spending Once a week , once a month , whatever works for you . Have honest conversations about your money , what you're doing with it , what the plan is .
Take it serious .
Take it .
Yes , it's a serious thing If you're having this conversation way too much and it becomes a fight and it's a reason for divorce , be serious about it .
You got to be serious about it , because this is a . They're huge . The infidelity , especially with the social media world , money . And then the third big one is what they're calling the silent divorce Just being completely emotionally disconnected forever , essentially becoming roommates because we get busy and I I I'll be honest , I'm so tired of the constant .
My marriage has fallen apart , my marriage has fallen apart . My marriage has fallen apart , my marriage is in the dumps . My marriage has fallen apart and you're not doing anything about it . I'm so sick and tired and you're not doing anything about it . I'm so sick and tired of just hearing the complaints of what he won't do , what she won't do .
Well , we're just busy and we have jobs and we have the kids and we have the schedules and we have this and we don't have time for each other and we can't go on dates because we can't afford to go on dates and she's doing nothing but playing on her phone and we never have sex and I'm not , and we can't and I'm not , I can't .
We're getting so dadgum selfish and I'm sick and tired of it .
You know what happens when this happens .
What .
They don't have their priorities right
¶ The Silent Divorce: Becoming Roommates
.
They don't have their priorities together at all . And if it's .
They are busy as an individually . They got work , they got this , and then it's the kids . Obviously , that pushes the spouse way behind all those things . And can you tell me where god comes into play in that ? He ain't there ? Nope , otherwise you would not have this situation where you've become roommates no , he , he , he's , he's not there , and it just .
It becomes so easy to become a roommate . Your conversations are transactional , like hey , did you take out the trash ? Hey , did you do the laundry ? Hey , what's for dinner tonight ? Hey , did you do this ? Hey , so-and-so's got practice , make sure you get them from there . I gotta go do this . And that's all your conversations are all about .
You stop spending intentional time with each other and you only want to point to the other person and never want to point the finger back at yourself and look in the mirror and say how did I contribute to this ? The red flags . You become roommates . You're no longer lovers . You're not touching each other , you're not in love with each other .
You don't gaze into each other's eyes . You don't want to just spend time with each other . Yesterday we had a fantastic day . Yes , and we didn't do nothing , but we did , but we did , but we hung out together all day long . We watched a show together .
I don't think I left your side All day long . No , and it was phenomenal .
And that was pretty much it .
Doing tie-dye shirts with the girls .
You were doing tie-dye shirts with the girls and that was it . But you become roommates and you feel like you're so disconnected and intimacy just fades away emotionally , physically , it's all completely gone . You don't have a deep conversation , what at all .
That is so quick to become this silent divorce to just say we're roommates and then you're just completely checked out because you let life get more important than your spouse .
I mean , what was the point of getting married ?
Exactly .
You're giving the enemy exactly what the enemy wants totally do .
So what do you need to do about this ? Not want your wedding you ? He only wants your marriage I don't care about the wedding . The wedding doesn't matter .
He wants a hundred thousand dollars on a wedding .
Nobody cares nobody cares not even the enemy no , he's just saying oh boy , they think this is going to be good .
The more you spend , the more I get to play .
I'm after the marriage and they don't have a clue . But I'm coming after them and they're not prepared for it . They're not ready for it . You have to be able to be intentional with each other . Schedule weekly date nights , schedule tech free date nights , schedule time , like I talked about , my phone goes on personal and it doesn't do anything .
I mean , you asked me like hey , have you got some text messages about this and that we won't get into that . I'm like well , it's on personal , so I'm not getting anything anyways . Um , I have stuff like that .
Like when you're at home , when you're with your spouse , put your phone away , do it for just a half an hour a day and watch the change that that is going . It will be absolutely unbelievable . Ask like thought provoking questions . Have real conversations . You know , what do you think about this ? How do you feel about this ?
Non-judgmental conversations .
Totally . You're going to have to do that to be able to .
Constructive criticism .
To get the fire back in your relationship and get the fire back in your marriage and be excited to see each other and spend time with each other again . Be excited to see each other and spend time with each other again . I'm just . I'm so tired of people complaining but not wanting to take the steps to do anything .
They would rather complain than actually make the marriage work .
Yeah , I mean , that's the definition of insanity . I'm going to complain about it and I'm going to continue to do what I've always done , and I'm shocked when it didn't get better .
But let's keep going and try again .
I continue to do it . I can't believe that things aren't changing . You need to change some things . We have to stop being so selfish about what I'm getting . When you get married , we always worry about well , what am I going to get out of this and how do they make me feel ? What are they going to do for me and are they going to satisfy me ?
We're so dadgum selfish , and that's where all of this stems from . Is I'm only worried about what's in it for me .
If you would do nothing and stop worrying about yourself and not worry about what you're getting out of it , and your only concern whenever it comes to your marriage is how can I make sure my spouse gets every little thing that they need , and I'm only concerned about their well-being and their desires and their satisfaction .
If you do that , if both husband and wife do that , you will have a marriage that will blow your freaking mind .
And it's incredible .
Because my only concern is I'm going to serve my spouse . I don't care if they don't do anything for me ever . I'm going to serve them fully 100% . Do anything for me ever . I'm going to serve them fully 100% . And if both of you do that , your marriage will take a complete change .
Yeah , and then your kids kind of see that and they're going to actually know what a marriage should actually look like 100% .
So that is our advice Out-serve each other , do everything in your power to only be concerned with what your spouse is getting from you and not what you're getting , and it will completely change everything , because marriages don't break up overnight . It didn't just happen . It's a slow , slow , slow process .
And then we wonder what in the world happened , what's been happening for the last five years ? And it's all these little steps
¶ Prioritizing Each Other and Serving First
, these little things that we talked about . This is the reason that it is happening . Take a hold of it now . Recognize the warning signs now .
Go ahead and put a stop to it now and turn the thing around and do everything you can to give your spouse everything that they could ever desire , and if you both do that , you're going to have the greatest marriage you could ever possibly imagine , even be better than what you could have possibly imagined , better than any dumb Hallmark movie that could have ever
been written .
I agree , because that's us 100% .
Hadn't always been that way , but it changed and it's been the greatest experience and thing in my life .
Couldn't agree more .
Do you have any final thoughts on marriages on the edge ?
It's shocking and sad .
And it's a reality . It's what we see .
It's real .
They're deeply , deeply under attack . We want to do everything in our power to let people know that the enemy shouldn't win . Don't let him win . He is currently winning and it's sad to see and I want to put a stop to it . I'm determined .
We're too competitive .
We are , dadgum , determined where we are not going to let the enemy win . Only God can do it . But we're here to serve him and to be a voice for him and do whatever he asks us to so marriages can win again .
I like it .
Any marriages can win again . I like it . Any final thoughts I love you . I love you , beautiful . Let's get out of here . Let's go . God , we love you so much . We are just so thankful for what you're doing . We're thankful that you're using us and we just pray that you continue to use us , Whatever that looks like .
We are your servants and we are here to do whatever you have called us to do . We want to pray over every single marriage , every single person who is listening , those who are about to get married , maybe those who have gone through their divorce . God just pray for healing for them .
That , if people's marriages are on the brink of divorce , if they do feel like they're failing and they're just spinning their wheels and they're not going anywhere , that this will resonate with them .
That the warning signs that we talked about today or maybe something we didn't talk about will just come to the surface for you to be able to recognize , for them to be able to recognize that you just bring it to the surface .
Let them see that and just give them the steps and the people in their life that they need to be able to have the marriage that you created . You created the most beautiful thing in the world with marriage and we want people to be able to experience that . If we can play a part in it , allow us to do that . We are here for that .
God , we love you and we thank you in jesus name , amen amen play ball .