¶ Intro / Opening
here's a question for you is marriage overrated ?
why aren't people getting married anymore ?
a new pew research poll found that two and five young adults think marriage is an outdated tradition marriage rates are at their lowest right now .
Is marriage really even worth it ? More than half of marriages end in divorce .
If you get married , you have to be stuck with this person for the rest of your life , right ? That's why you get married . So that's why it's declining . Why would you get married if you don't , if you want to have just one partner ?
when you can have multiple Marriage is stupid . Welcome to the Married AF podcast , the self-proclaimed greatest marriage and relationship podcast in the world . My name is Matthew Powers . Alongside my beautiful wife , monica , we are your hosts for the show today , and we have a special guest with us who , if you're watching on YouTube , you're going to love it .
He is crawling on the desk . He's all over the place . He won't want to leave things alone . He is a new addition to our family . Rhodesian ridgeback , 12 week old . T'challa , t'challa , how you doing .
I think he's good because his tail's about to hit his tail's wagging .
He is just licking my fingers . He's up on top of the desk and he is going to be the show today for all the dog people who are out there . Um , you're very , very happy . Please don't poop on my desk , that'd be awful . Hey , bud , how you doing man ? He's like I'm good , I'm getting rubs . Things are , things are great in life .
So t'challa tell the world hello . Nope , he's just gonna look at me , don't look at me . Like , who is this bozo ? So we have a new addition to the family , to chala . The first week was a rough one , but regretted every decision about getting a puppy absolutely we did , but but we okay with him . Now he has a sweetheart . He loves to cuddle .
He doesn't do normal puppy behavior , but he's been an awesome addition to the family . The kids love him . The kids are happy . It's been a long time coming . So , t'challa , welcome . I'm sure all the people will love you as well . Thank you to all those who watch , who listen , who subscribe , who like , who review , who send messages , all of that stuff .
Let us know what you think of old T'Challa here .
He is hanging out .
Well , if you don't know uh , I'm sure I've gotten the response of what's a rhodesian ridgeback so the rhodesian ridgeback is known as the african lion hunter , and they were bred for farmers in africa to keep the lions away from their farms and their livestock . And that's what they do they . They help keep the lions at bay . Um , they are .
The color is wheat , I think is the name of the color , and it's to be able to blend in with the grass . Um , one cool thing about them , the reason they're called the rhodesian ridgeback or the zimbabwe zipperback they have a line of hair along their back , along their back spine , and it grows in the opposite direction . And it's just the coolest thing .
They're great dogs . They're very , very smart . He's going to be a big boy , about 95 pounds , we've been told .
Now , when he gets to 95 pounds , he will not be able to sit on the desk .
I hope he won't be able to sit on the desk in front of us .
He probably won't want to , but he is so , not a puppy .
No , he likes to sleep . He likes to cuddle . He's a cuddler , I mean . He likes watches . He does like to eat watches . He loves to just jump up on the couch and lay down with you , put it , put his head up against you and just chill like uh . Cash has been playing video games and t'challa just lays there with him for hours and just hangs out .
So welcome t'challa well , his name is king T'Challa Powers , but because he is a purebred , his DNA confirmed 100% Rhodesian Ridgeback .
Yes .
And .
What you doing , man .
So when you have a registered dog with the AKC , you need to go with the naming of your mom . I think it's so . Um , mystic is his mom's name and the breeder Emma . She is at world-class kennels in Harpersville , alabama . So if anybody's looking for a Rhodesian Ridgeback , she's the place to go . Yes , please look .
Emma Marshall up at world-class kennels in Harpersville , yep , harpersville , alabama , unbelievable Just takes such good care of the puppies and her Rhodesian Ridgebacks that she used to show T'Challa's dad is a 21-time champion . I mean he's got some good blood , but he just is the sweetest .
Super sweet .
Not puppy-like .
Besides , in the little playing that he does .
But he is so unbelievable . Unbelievable and since we did all the research front back up down sideways on the breed of dog we were getting , we had never heard of a Rhodesian Ridgeback because they popped up when we were looking for a low-maintenance type of dog but a good guard dog doesn't shed and we found them .
And his name for AKC , since they were going with a mayhem , I guess theme Yep , he is Minion Mayhem . Yes , registered name is Minion .
Mayhem , minion , mayhem . Elkie's favorite thing at Universal the Minions . So we went Minion , mayhem didn't we ? Buddy .
The name T'Challa . I don't know if anybody watches , but you can see that he has a bandana on it says Wakanda forever Our son Cash . His favorite movie of the Marvels is Black Panther . And in love and respect out of .
Chadwick .
Boseman and Black Panther . We named him T'Challa King , t'challa King , t'challa . So welcome him , t'challa King .
T'Challa , king T'Challa . So welcome , king T'Challa . You can't just hang out here all day , but it works because he's from .
Africa so it made it even perfect .
It works . Come here , buddy . We'll see you later . Big guy , he's going to go hang out with Cash while Cash goes and plays some video games , so we're not going to be all about the pup and all about the dog today . I mean , he doesn't he doesn't want to go anywhere at all . Sorry , bud , it is what it is . Go see cash .
Yeah , it is what it is over there , so nothing to do with dogs today , but I do have something else good for you what you got . You have not heard these . They're going to drive you insane . There's a lot of truth to some of this stuff , but this is an article I found , and these are things that women do that drive men crazy .
I'll let you know how I feel about some of them .
I can't wait to see if I do any of those things .
We will see so first .
so um first one who are these men that they drive crazy just uh like in ?
general , just in general . You know a bunch of spouses or spouses , not spouses , just the men in general . They're asked hey , what are things that women do that drive you nuts ?
these were the most common responses is this in a relationship or just ?
period , period relationships , not relationships . First one , and I am totally on board with this one not saying you do it , but I do know women who do okay , and this drives men insane and never wanting to do anything . Me asking , hey , what would you like to do ? Her response no , that sounds boring , boring . Okay , how about this ?
No , I don't want to do that either . Me okay , what would you like to do ? Her response I don't know . Whatever you want to do , that is the most I don't want to say the most , but that is a very annoying , stereotypical woman answer it's the .
It's like the restaurant in like greenville , alabama , alabama , that we've passed by before , and the name of the restaurant is I don't care , because always the response is hey , what do you want for dinner ?
oh , I don't care whatever you want , let's go talk about . Oh I don't want to talk about .
Then don't say I don't care , let's go have italian dinner . Oh , I don't want italian dinner . All right , well , let's go eat burgers . I don't want burgers , so that restaurant's called I don't care .
What do you want ? I don't care , but this is , we'll go there this is insanely aggravating I mean it happens for restaurants , a movie , just actually going out to do something . We're not that way . No , because we are those go-go people , but we also want to be together all the time it is and that's .
I've said it plenty of times before . Just I'd rather spend time with you than really doing anything else . I would rather go to Joanne's Fabric with you . That you absolutely despise Than sit at home and do something by myself , because I prefer to spend time with you and I hate I mean , I don't hate a lot of things- Mostly because I spend hours there .
And I don't even have to buy anything it wouldn't be bad if it was a good 15 minute in and out , but literally we'll spend hours there .
I hate going there , but I'm with you and whenever it comes to us in situations like this , we do give that response like it doesn't matter to me , whatever you want , but you know what that's followed up with okay , well , we're doing this , or I'm ordering this , or we're going to go have this , or I've got this or that , and you know what ?
Absolutely we're on board with it .
But we also know each other so well that when we do that , there will be times where , vice versa , whether either of us go , hey , what are we doing for dinner ? The other will say oh , I've already got dinner . Sorry , taken care of Not even questioning what dinner is .
We trust the other one to know what we like and you know they're going to get you what you like . They're not going to give you broccoli and cheese . You would never give me broccoli and cheese .
Not in a billion years , but you would get me broccoli , because I love broccoli .
If you want to eat that smelly stuff , go for it and that's just understanding and knowing each other .
But also , whenever we say , oh , it doesn't matter to me , whatever you want , we truly mean that like I don't , I don't , I don't necessarily want anything . Or , you know , it doesn't matter what we watch , or it doesn't matter where we go , or what we get , whatever , whatever you think is best .
And I'll even say a lot of the times cause you'll say , okay , well , I'm going to do this , what would you like ? Surprise me , and I fully mean that , surprise me , because I know that you're , you're going to look out for me , which kind of leads me to number two , um , which kind of follows along .
The same thing , uh , is when women take no initiative , like they don't take any initiative in any type of decision-making , it goes along with the I don't know , I don't want to do that , I don't care , whatever you want , but also not taking the initiative , which is something you do .
Well , you are , you're an Enneagram eight , you're the challenger , you don't mind to grab the bull by the horns and just like , go .
I welcome it .
Absolutely so you do take initiative . I can't relate to that at all , but I do know that that is I see where it would be completely annoying .
And I do know someone this is a hilarious story that did take initiative on their honeymoon but had no idea that he couldn't necessarily swim very well .
Oh , I know where you're going with this .
And he was . I'm not scuba diving , I'm not doing that . It's funny . I mean , I think it was snorkeling or something . I've got to get them on this show and I've told him about this as that .
I want you to tell me that story and I want to watch her face when she's reliving this moment , because he said it almost ended up in divorce and they were only just married we're gonna have to make that happen , but that's another one , george drake , please when , when we're gonna take ?
on this podcast one day we do want to hear that story drake has the best he , he tells , he tells Very funny , very in-depth stories and they're mated .
It's so fantastic , but the time that she did take the initiative and surprise him with something , it was horrible .
She's probably traumatized and she doesn't take any initiative anymore . And maybe that's why most women don't take initiative , and it could be , but again , that's something you got to talk about it From the man's standpoint . Yes , we want you to take control Sometimes . We want you to have an opinion .
We want to hear from you because mostly men we do want to hear from you . We want to know what your thoughts are , know what your opinion is . Yes , there are men who are complete a-holes and think that they run the world and that everything goes through them and what their final word says . A real man does not feel that way .
We have our opinions and we want to lead , but we want to hear from those who are closest to us and those who we trust to also be able to get input , because we understand we don't always have all the answers and we know that we are better together . We want to hear from you , women .
The third one when they assume they understand my intentions or motivations because in air quotes they know how men think or otherwise , claim to be exceedingly perspective . Perspective or intuitive , even if it's true , believing or acting on those take things away from my ability to express my thoughts and feelings in a given matter . It really grinds my gears .
Grinds mine too . All I thought about when you said that was back to when you made me listen to that talk show .
The View .
That said Are men useless . Mm-hmm , you're making your man useless .
Mm-hmm .
You know what happens when you assume . And if you don't know , please , with all those things that you do on those little short videos , assume A-S-S out of U . U M-E .
And it's exactly true . That's exactly what happens when you assume , so it's important to to talk to each other communication communication . This next one is , uh , probably number one top of my list . And this is not necessarily a woman thing . Yes , women do it . It's not necessarily a spousal thing , men do it also , but it's also just people in general .
Okay , when you're talking to them and they reply , oh my gosh , that's so funny , while they're occupied with their phones , not laughing or smiling . So , having a conversation , you say something , say , oh my gosh , baby , that's so funny . Not even look up and continue this one like I'm gonna grab your phone , I'm gonna throw it as far as I can .
Now , my arm isn't what it used to be . It may not go far and I may hurt later yeah but dadgummit .
This one drives me insane we have talked about this on previous episodes we have look up , but I've told you , I've shared with you , that this week at school I was asked was I married ? I said yes and then I'd been married for 16 years , but we've been together for 25 .
They were floored , blown away and they asked these are juniors and seniors in high school that asked why have you been married so long ? My answer was straight up easy because he is everything that I'm not and makes me so much better . They didn't . Whoa , coach Powers . That's deep , it's true .
The next day they asked about cell phones and I guess I got to get my mind right . I said you want me to tell you how do you get your mind right . Leave your phone somewhere , get rid of it , because how many times have you had a conversation with somebody where you're doing this uh-huh right and you have no idea what that person is saying ?
test them with that , like you're having a conversation with someone , that you're talking about them and just make up something off the wall do that all the time crazy like , yeah , you won't believe this , but I'm the building's on fire . The building's currently on fire and I'm going to go jump out of an airplane right now .
Oh my God , that's so funny .
Yeah , there's a rhinoceros right behind you about to attack . Say something stupid .
Did you see that unicorn right ?
there and they're going to give you . It's just , it's a condition for us . In the words of Ferris Bueller , life moves pretty fast . If you don't stop and look around once in a while , you can miss it . If we have our heads so far dug into our phones , you're going to miss everything that's important .
Number five , the next one , when they demand princess treatment but do not reciprocate anything , I can't treat you like a queen . If you don't , let me be your king . Entitlement is a turnoff Someone who acts entitled to your affection , your time and your money while offering up little to nothing in return .
Couldn't have been said better I love this because it's so . I can't treat you like a queen . If you don't , let me be your king we have talked about and that's true . I do treat you like a queen because you are , but you also treat me like a king , and it works both ways , and that's when the relationship works right .
We have also said marriage is not 50 , 50 , never , there's going to be some days I treat you way better than you treat you . Treat me that day because it's an off day . I'm here to lift you up and vice versa , where you do the same for me . I mean , I could not literally move my the left side for months . You don't have hair , but you were blow mine .
Dang right and I did a great job you did .
How can you expect to be treated like a queen If you ain't ?
got a king . You can't , you can't .
Come on women .
Come on , be better , be better . Here's another one where it seems like they it seems like they own the place or can do whatever they want , even if it bothers other people , like being loud , rude , demanding attention from everybody , but mostly not respecting others , and I get that .
I can't stand those people either .
No , and there are people who walk into the room and they do . They own the room , not intentionally , but that's just their personality , that's just who they are , but they don't do it at the expense of other people . I totally understand and totally get this . It's a complete turn off . It will drive you absolutely insane .
You don't want anything to do with that .
Get off your phone , you go into a store and you're with somebody else and you are loud in that conversation talking on speakerphone or on facetime .
Now , I've facetimed in the store before , but I do this . I'm like , hey , baby , which one is it ?
Because I don't know but not the whole dang conversation I , I hate that you need to share your business with everybody it's not that they want to share their business with everybody is they need they need to be seen and they need to try and get attention from other people have zero joy in their life . Yeah , so they're out there seeking it from .
Attention in ways that they never needed .
And even when it's bad attention , they don't want it . Clearly this one talks about all their past relationships . You know this would be a for me and luckily I have not had to experience it because I've had you for 25 years . But I know for be a for me and luckily I have not had to experience it because I've had you for 25 years .
But I know for sure for me that how and I do this with when hiring people I want to see how they speak about their previous employer .
If I were dating someone , I would want to hear not all the details , but I would pay close attention to how they talk about their past relationships , because of every past relationship they're throwing someone under the bus and they're talking about how horrible they were . That is ding , ding , ding red flag for me . I want no part of this .
Absolutely .
It's eventually a them problem . You know Taylor Swift . I've said it before . She has all these exes and oh poor Taylor Swift . Eventually it's a you problem . Eventually you've got to look in the mirror and you've got your own problems , your own things you need to deal with or you're never going to be able to find what you're looking for .
But how people talk about their ex-relationships . If you're hiring people , their previous employers , if I hire someone and they're dogging their previous employer , I don't want it . I don't want it at all .
Now I understand things go bad and people make horrible mistakes and those past relationships may be terrible , but it doesn't need to get into the nitty gritty of why and just kind of keep piling on that past person .
That is something it's a huge red flag for me and also , if you're talking about your past and constantly bringing out the past , how are you supposed to move forward ? You ?
can't and constantly bringing out the past .
How are you supposed to move forward ? You can't , because you're stuck on what has happened over here . When you're not focusing on what's right in front of you , totally , what's the point of even having a relationship ? Get out of your situationships .
Them . Situationships , short and infrequent texts . Okay , okay , I get it . He says I'll buzz off then . Situationships Situationships , short and infrequent texts . Okay Okay , I get it . He says I'll buzz off , then I'm not going to carry the relationship and you're clearly not head over heels Meaning . And I get this .
You send a long text message or conversation and it's just short , little , one word answers . Clearly you're not all that interested in it . Now I know one for me , one text that I can't stand getting okay there's a thumbs up there is I'd rather a thumbs up , when you get a k in return . Something's up .
You know something , something's gone down , something's's not good when you say something and someone responds just a K , oh no .
Don't even respond . Oh no , I would rather have me left unread . Not that I have that turned on .
Yeah , I don't either K . K .
You forgot about something . You're doing something that you shouldn't be .
K .
You're responding to get this off your screen so somebody else doesn't see it and that's that's it um .
This next one , I think , is probably one of the bigger problems that we see today getting their relationship expectations from social media oh , I saw this on tiktok .
You know , we should totally do this yes , you know where she found it , or how she found it when you were telling her that funny joke and she was constantly scrolling like oh my god , look at this .
Yeah , um , this is so true because and we forget that social media is the highlight reel it's not real life at all , it is strictly the highlight reel . It's everything that was perfect about that little situation .
You know , when you see the family pictures of everyone and they're dressed so perfect and the sun's setting perfectly and everyone looks their best , they're smiling so big and everyone looks their best . They're smiling so big . They're all matching outfits . That is the one picture that was gotten in the two hours it took to get people like that .
While they're screaming , while they're yelling , while they're crying , they're fighting and they're dirty , you're about to get a divorce all because of it . That's the reality of it , and I also want to put on this perfect picture of what it should look like . We cannot get our expectations from what's going on in social media because it is not real life .
You just have to also watch who you're following .
Yes , fix that algorithm . Watch out who you're following .
Because do you really want to live their life ? No , probably not , because you have no idea what's really going on .
¶ [Ad] The Brief
Yeah , whoever you're following and you think it looks perfect , it's all a lie . I can promise you that . Just a couple more here when they are rude to waiters , total mood killer for me . If I see that it has to be a bad day or something , or I'm out .
You should get out immediately yes because anybody that's going to complain to somebody that has 100 control of your food .
You have screwed up oh yeah , watch the movie waiting . Watch what happens when you're a waitress .
I know exactly what happens and that was in my bc life yeah you piss me off at a table
¶ (Cont.) Mistakes Women Make That Drive Men Crazy
and me and the cook we're on good terms . I take your plate back to the cook . You want to know what she said . About your food Makes me think of True Blood .
Yes , Lafayette , oh man .
Here's your burger . Hold the AIDS .
Because he was gay .
Oh my gosh , you don't do things like that . I totally agree with this . Come back with a lot of stuff that you don't know what you're eating in your food you most certainly will never know , or it makes me think of the help yes with the pie , the pie , the chocolate pie . My Great .
Great scene .
Oh man , Octavia Spencer , I love you .
It was so , so great . But I told you you can't be rude to , you , shouldn't be rude to any type of service staff at all Period . Yeah , something going to mess up everything . Yes , absolutely no one's perfect .
It most certainly will , how many times have you messed up Plenty . And that's probably why you all get in some deep .
Plenty . So don't be rude to people . Be kind to people . Mistakes happen . I think , overall , people want to do a good job At whatever they do and they will make it right . All you got to do is be aware and just tell them and be kind about it .
And sometimes , if you're , if you're going to be A bitty about it , you're going to get something in your food , but if you're over the top nice about it , you might get a little extra something yeah , just say , just say simple dessert on the house yeah , just a simple hey , this .
This isn't necessarily what I ordered . I got this . Could I possibly you know what easy done , so that's a big one . I got two . You , okay , playing hard to get . When women play hard to get , they're playing that game that , honestly , no man wants to play . No man wants to play the game of chasing .
Give examples .
No , just that . That whole playing hard to get like , yes , I'm interested , no , now I'm not . And yes , I'm interested , no , now I'm not . Yes , I'm interested , no , now I'm not . And I've got the dates over here and I got this . Going on over here and just acting as if they're not really interested .
But they really are interested , but they want to make you keep chasing because that's a stupid game that no one wants to play . Ain't , no one got time for that .
I feel that happens more now in today's world than it might have when we were younger .
Yeah , I can see that . Well , because everyone's looking for the next best thing , you have situationships instead of relationships .
You always have the next person lined up .
Always .
And so the reason why they're playing hard to get is because you probably are the next one in line and they want to make sure they can get you when that situation they're currently in is done .
Yeah , unfortunately it's known as the DOD , the dong on deck . Last one , can we just what ?
What last one ? What world d o d ?
setting up that next band that dong on deck , next batter up am I that naive or sheltered ?
I did not know what that is maybe , maybe not .
I think that was a covino and rich term back in the day okay , the dod the dong on deck .
Write that down thank you , covino and rich last one .
Every man will totally agree with this , and you totally will too . Oh boy , when they flirt and give their attention to other men and , when caught , try to pretend like it was harmless and we're overreacting , which will sometimes cause us to really ponder on if we were over at overreacting or not .
Why is it that women will flirt with other men in front of their man ? Why does that happen ?
I don't know . I can safely say I have maybe done that two or three times , but that was also in our article .
Awful stages is also in our art form Awful stages .
We see life where I'm going to have my cake and eat it too .
Right , and do you think that's where it comes from ?
For me I don't have an answer because with you , you I have everything I needed . So mine was strictly for spite . I can't answer for other women . I could see where they would do it to make their husbands jealous and see them desirable that another man might want to have something to do with them see , and I could , I could see that happening too .
I could see , because they're not getting that attention they want from their husband so they're gonna seek it from somebody else and that that is a reality , like if we don't give our spouses attention , they're totally going to find it in other places . Um , hence we need to Respect and pay attention to Our spouses .
I can see where a woman would say Well , I'm going to make him realize he's got something and flirt a little bit .
But you also have to Realize some women Just Flirt Constantly .
Well , men hate it .
Well , you need to let your woman know that you see , that's what you see , and you don't like it .
And if she loves you and respects you she'll realize that and make sure it never happens again , which is all we can ask for . Everyone's allowed a mistake like this , especially you talk about it and you move past it . Allowed a mistake like this , especially you talk about it and you move past it . It's the best way to do it easy .
So the things that men or women do that drive men insane was that supposed to be a man ?
of course those things drive me crazy too I think anyone who you just said , of course , to me being a man no I was processing different things in my head . You were no , you're definitely not a man I said was I supposed to be a man ? I ?
can . Of course , I can vouch for that wait a minute . Powers , of course these are going to infuriate you too , because anyone who is in a healthy relationship and loves their spouse would think the same thing like this is your , your , you're crazy to do this stupid stuff .
You're crazy to do it it just shows me that you don't want to be with the man you're with well that , and it's very , very attention seeking , which men are not looking for .
attention seeking men are looking for respect , they're looking for a partner , they're looking for someone to be with them through it all . That's what men want . Men don't want a woman seeking and seeking and seeking attention .
The best advice I can give to either people in the relationship . If you're not married and you haven't known each other for a long time and you're just meeting someone , what kind of car are they driving ? You're looking at me like what are you talking about ? Because if you have a Maserati and that's your car , you're going to be high maintenance .
That is a high maintenance car . You can't just go to any oil change place and get that Maserati service . You're going to have to go to the main dealer . That's not readily available for everyone everywhere .
Can't just run down to Express and get that knocked out . I see where you're going .
If you got that Toyota Camry .
Metacord .
Those kind of cars , you're going to be able to understand and put things in perspective , but if you're driving around in a Toyota Corolla with a Maserati taste , mm-mm . Yeah , that could be a problem , you're driving that Toyota Corolla , but you're acting like you got Maserati money .
That's even a bigger problem .
That's a red flag .
It's a huge red flag . I like that . No , it does kind of tell you maintenance-wise , hey , how high maintenance is this going to be ?
Look at their shoes . How often do you really look Man's shoes ?
No one looked at Andy Dufresne's shoes . That's why he busted on out of prison , wore the warden's shoes . Any final thoughts ?
I love you .
I love you too , god . We love you . We are so thankful . I know we say it often , but this is yours and we're just thankful that you've trusted us with it and we trust you to do whatever you want with it . We will continue to obey you and do what you want forever .
And God , we just want to pray over every person , people who are walking through things , people who are seeing difficulties .
If any of these things that we talked about today are relevant in someone's life , god , I just pray that you open up the doors to have a conversation and you'll be in the midst of the conversation to help people navigate through this , to be able to have the purpose and the life and the marriage and the relationship that you wanted them to have , because that's
who you are and you are good , and we love you in Jesus name , amen .
Amen Play ball .